Latest / Bomb Life / Unfiltered: Breaking Free, Part 2 with Melissa & Jen |336

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Unfiltered: Breaking Free, Part 2 with Melissa & Jen |336 · Bomb Life

0:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, everyone, and welcome to the Bond Life Podcast.
0:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm Melissa Volva, your host.
0:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to Part 2.
0:09
[SPEAKER_02]: This was totally unexpected of how we were going to do this in basically a three-part series of me talking about my previous experience on our unfiltered episodes with my co-host, Jen.
0:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And we intended to like record an episode and
0:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Yay, like tell in the story, there'll be tears, you know, it's finally out there and finally like having a way to like share my experience and be able to help others and you guys it open to whole can of worms.
0:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I wasn't expecting it to take this long and be this I guess draining on me too.
0:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're cutting it up and that's why there's three parts because it was just it was long.
0:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Once I finally was like, I'm done, I need a break, this relationship has to be paused or something you need to get help.
1:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So make sure you go back and listen to the first episode because that will fill you in on everything before you jump into this one.
1:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I have to give the trigger warnings because in this episode, and I gave the warning in part one, but this part two really is where the warning comes in a play, because we are talking about domestic violence and physical abuse.
1:33
[SPEAKER_02]: There are a lot of tears in this episode.
1:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It was very hard to tell this story, and we have to do a third part because
1:43
[SPEAKER_02]: There are so many questions that are coming in that we want to be able to answer.
1:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, there were a lot of parts of the story that I missed and I didn't fill in.
1:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, holy shit, that's kind of an important part of the story and like we didn't even touch on that.
2:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So it was just so emotional and hard to get it all out to just like say it.
2:07
[SPEAKER_02]: There were a lot of missing pieces in there.
2:10
[SPEAKER_02]: When Jen and I ended this recording, we literally ran the phone for like two hours after.
2:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I think we both just needed to kind of like decompress its triggering.
2:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Jen has her own story stories and I know it, you know, was triggering things inside of her.
2:26
[SPEAKER_02]: She was there for me that day.
2:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You guys will hear in this episode how Jen played a role in all of that.
2:32
[SPEAKER_02]: She didn't know where her friend was.
2:34
[SPEAKER_02]: She didn't know what was going on.
2:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And the next thing that she saw on her phone was a phone call from the county jail.
2:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's in this episode today.
2:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So here I am again, recording another intro that was not expected.
2:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, I'm just going to reiterate the reason why I'm sharing this is because.
2:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I want this story and what happened to me to help other people.
3:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I think hiding and not sharing, it doesn't help me.
3:10
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't help anyone learn or grow, and it just becomes like a shitty thing that happened and I don't want that.
3:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I want people to learn and be educated and know that you can get out and that I want you to learn from my mistakes that we talk about in this episode, things that I didn't say that I should have said.
3:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Had I heard an episode, a podcast episode like this before that happened, I guarantee something would have pulled from the back of my head to the front of my head and I'm like, don't say that.
3:35
[SPEAKER_02]: This is what you need to say.
3:36
[SPEAKER_02]: This is how you need to protect you.
3:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So you guys you're going to get an ear full today.
3:43
[SPEAKER_02]: So I wanted to come out and explain to you know what why is there three parts and why is this so long and there's another part to so make sure you're listening for part three it's it's going to bring everything together to it really is it's going to bring everything together.
4:00
[SPEAKER_02]: This has been hard.
4:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't think it would be hard sharing this, but it is.
4:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And I appreciate all your support.
4:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I appreciate all of the questions, bring them on.
4:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to hide from anything anymore.
4:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, I want to empower others to tell their story and to not stay quiet to just keep helping other people.
4:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So.
4:20
[SPEAKER_02]: With having said, let's go into part two.
4:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Again, trigger warning.
4:24
[SPEAKER_02]: We're talking about arrest, jail, domestic violence, all of it.
4:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, this is my crazy story.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I already do one.
4:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Enjoy the show.
4:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You didn't give shit about anything other than getting a fucking title signed, right?
4:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And do you also remember that he, yeah, he just kept making those excuses.
4:46
[SPEAKER_00]: He was saying he was gonna do it for you,
4:52
[SPEAKER_00]: following through with the plans that you were making it kept becoming these things because I remember you kept texting right and you're like, okay, I'm gonna meet him and then you're like now He's not coming what the fuck yep, and then Then you were like yeah, I'll just I'll fucking bring it to you.
5:06
[SPEAKER_02]: You think I'm not gonna do this You think I want to keep your like I just need peace.
5:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I kept telling him that.
5:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I can't do this anymore I just need peace
5:18
[SPEAKER_02]: and I just need space and peace and then I had to teach at night and I'm like right when I'm done, I will get in the truck, I will drive it down to you, I will have someone follow me, I will fucking Uber back, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I will bring it to you at this time.
5:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, okay, so we had a plan in place and one of the kids was going to follow me, I
5:46
[SPEAKER_02]: and you called me on your way down there and I said it all I had everything in the car everything in the truck.
5:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew where you were going.
5:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I was talking to Jen before hand and I'm like, okay, this is my plan and this is what I'm going to do and it's going to be weird seeing him.
6:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I haven't seen him since the trip and
6:04
[SPEAKER_02]: everything was fine.
6:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And we were texting back and forth to, um, I was like, hey, I'm 15 minutes away.
6:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
6:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Cool.
6:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to run so and so he went and I'll be back.
6:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Awesome.
6:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
6:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it was being really calm.
6:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
6:15
[SPEAKER_00]: You can really calm.
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: So at that point, it was kind of like, okay, maybe this is going to go.
6:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And go.
6:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
6:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to go there.
6:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Daughter's going to pick me up.
6:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to leave the truck.
6:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to get the title signed.
6:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to leave.
6:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That was the plan.
6:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I'll general call you when I'm on my way.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And that was a lot of things I had said to you when I was like, I'll call you when I'm on my way back.
6:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
6:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And from, yeah, yeah, this was the evening.
6:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I parked the truck and my daughter called me or text me and she's like, I got to go to the bathroom and like, we're not going in there.
6:51
[SPEAKER_02]: This is going to be fast.
6:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, go to a McDonald's or something.
6:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like eight nine o'clock, right?
6:56
[SPEAKER_00]: It was evening.
6:57
[SPEAKER_00]: It was dark like nine.
6:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because I remember it was like late here.
7:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I was like, you and the boyfriend go, go to McDonald's, go to the bathroom and then by then I'll be done and I had walked up to the house and I had to walk like just a little ways because there was no parking spots and I walked up to the house.
7:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, ringing the doorbell on the, you know, and he wasn't there.
7:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just like left the stuff and it was kind of important stuff and I want to leave it and I walk back to the truck and I was like, hey, I'm here.
7:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I just let the stuff in the porch, but now I'm not sure if I should have done that.
7:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I'm going to move the truck closer and then I'll come back up and he was like, okay, you know,
7:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And then he said, I'm here.
7:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So I go and I walk up my kids still gone and I walk up to the door and he flings it open and he's like, don't you dare fucking step in my house and I'm my property.
7:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
7:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, deer in the headlights and I'm just standing there and I had a hat on.
7:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I had just got done working out.
7:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had on like this little like
8:00
[SPEAKER_02]: sweatshirt shorts and a hat and my purse was across my body that's important and I was just standing there looking at him and he's a screaming at me and I'm like, why are you yelling at me and I had the title in my hand?
8:19
[SPEAKER_02]: For him to sign I had both titles.
8:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I had a car title in one hand in the truck title in the other hand and I was like, look, I don't want any trouble.
8:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I just need you to sign this.
8:30
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I'm here.
8:32
[SPEAKER_02]: You know I'm coming to bring you your stuff and design it.
8:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I just don't want any trouble.
8:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I started crying.
8:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I don't know why you're yelling at me right now.
8:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And he like opened the door and it kind of calmed down.
8:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I like took a step forward.
8:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I went in the house and it closed the door behind me.
8:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And he started going to all the windows and like started closing the blinds.
8:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was like, what the fuck?
8:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I remember standing there and I'm like, why is he closing all the windows in the blind?
8:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And what are you, yeah, so that's what you're thinking at this time, just like what the fuck is going on.
9:03
[SPEAKER_00]: But nothing's registering to you.
9:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, not yet.
9:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just like, okay, he's mad.
9:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I just need to calm him down again and get him to sign this.
9:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I just want this title signed.
9:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I just just signed this so I can go.
9:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I paid you a re-scoring on your phone.
9:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Not at that point.
9:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I wasn't on yet.
9:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I hadn't turned it on yet because nothing had really we're just fighting and I was like, look, you know, that's my car.
9:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I gave you this amount of money for it.
9:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I just need you to sign it and he comes up close to me and he grabs the title out of my hand and puts it in the air and this guy's like 63.
9:40
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like double my size and he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
9:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he's like, what are you doing right now?
9:52
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
9:54
[SPEAKER_02]: That's your car.
9:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That truck is your car.
9:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what you're talking about.
9:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like,
10:01
[SPEAKER_02]: What are you doing?
10:02
[SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck are you doing right now?
10:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And everything just flipped.
10:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, Oh, my God.
10:08
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not going to sign it.
10:09
[SPEAKER_02]: My God.
10:10
[SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck did I do?
10:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to lose my car.
10:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was just like, please don't do this.
10:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Please don't do this.
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And he almost starts like kind of laughing.
10:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And he turns and he goes down the hallway into the bedroom.
10:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I followed him and I went into the bedroom and he's got it way over his hand his head up in the air and I'm like, please, so I start touching his chest and I'm just like, you know, kind of reaching up for it, never doing anything else just reaching for the title, like kind of jumping like a child, I'm like, don't do this, I need that car, it's my livelihood, please know paid for it, I must have like set my
10:45
[SPEAKER_02]: My purse, not my purse, but my phone.
10:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I had his bag of like fucking protein powder or whatever shit to in my hand.
10:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I like set it on the bed and I stand up and I'm like, please, I'm like, like, just let me have this and I reached up for it.
11:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, this is mine.
11:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's when he said something like this is mine or like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about and he pushed me.
11:09
[SPEAKER_02]: hard like in the chest and I flew back and hit his dresser and I hit so hard my feet slipped out from underneath me so it wasn't just like a move push it was like like he almost threw you it was it was a force and it was so hard my feet slipped out from under me
11:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And I hit the ground, and then I started crying because then I was in pain.
11:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, God, my butt cheek.
11:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I was just like, what the fun just happened?
11:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm hurt right now.
11:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm hurt.
11:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm crying.
11:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, what did you just do?
11:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, what's wrong with you?
11:46
[SPEAKER_00]: What's it?
11:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just kept saying that like, what's wrong with you?
11:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what's going on right now?
11:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And I stood up and I'm like, just give it to me, please.
11:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Just give it back and I'll just leave.
11:54
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
11:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I went for it and he like kind of turned and we fell on the bed and I like was kind of crawling up trying to get it and he gets up and he goes to lock himself in the bathroom and I'm just like, what are you doing?
12:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Please stop and then I'm like reaching for my butt because now it's like kicking in in the pain and I'm like, where's my phone?
12:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Where the fuck is my phone?
12:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I know he took my phone and my watch was dead.
12:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So I couldn't like ding it.
12:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like motherfucker.
12:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like just give me my phone where the fuck is my phone and I'm like panicking I go back out to the kitchen I come back in and the meantime he came out of the bathroom he goes down the other hall and he's like
12:37
[SPEAKER_02]: You need, you need to go.
12:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh no, you know what, you do have stuff here.
12:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Cause he was like, you had no business here, at least my house, leave my house and I'm like, give me my title back.
12:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And we go down the hall and he must have put my stuff in bags in the garage and he opens it.
12:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm behind him, he turns and he shoves me down the hall again and I hit the door and I'm like, at that moment, I was like, my God, what the fuck?
13:04
[SPEAKER_02]: He just threw me, I hit it.
13:07
[SPEAKER_02]: meantime, my daughter got back, and my daughter's outside the door, and she heard it.
13:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's a window to the right.
13:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And so they're, she's like banging on the door.
13:18
[SPEAKER_02]: They're trying to get in.
13:18
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, what the fuck is going on?
13:20
[SPEAKER_02]: What was that noise?
13:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And I get up and I run over to the door and I open it and I'm like, he's not signing it.
13:27
[SPEAKER_02]: He's taking my car.
13:28
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not signing it.
13:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, what the fuck?
13:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And he comes up behind me and slams the door shut.
13:34
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, get off my property.
13:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, you need to leave.
13:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And he turned, I don't know.
13:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And at some point, I was like, I'm calling the cops.
13:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it was when I got up.
13:43
[SPEAKER_02]: It was going to the door.
13:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I had called 911.
13:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, you're scaring me.
13:47
[SPEAKER_02]: You're really scaring me.
13:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, I'm calling the cops.
13:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, go for it.
13:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm calling security.
13:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So he calls this kind of security.
13:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
13:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, I'm on the phone with the cops.
13:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I told her I was like, I'm here.
14:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I need him to sign a title.
14:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm getting really scared.
14:04
[SPEAKER_02]: He's pushed me twice.
14:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I need to get out.
14:06
[SPEAKER_02]: But he just shut the door.
14:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, man, just go somewhere out.
14:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So I went up into the kitchen away from him.
14:13
[SPEAKER_02]: He was still in the back of the house.
14:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And I am sure people are thinking, going, why didn't you just fucking leave?
14:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
14:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just a car.
14:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just a title.
14:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And in that moment, I was like,
14:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my god, he's gonna take my car.
14:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have a car.
14:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I need my car to get my kids to school fucking tomorrow.
14:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, and my brain was just like, what the fuck is happening?
14:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't thinking like, just leave you'll figure this out tomorrow.
14:39
[SPEAKER_00]: No, this is not a person who's having same thoughts, or that would have been a very emotional, rational decision to make.
14:47
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, again, it's so easy to look back or to judge from the outside looking in.
14:54
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you've never been in that moment, the chaos that's ensuing, that's taking place.
14:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, hindsight 2020.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: The adrenaline.
15:03
[SPEAKER_02]: The adrenaline.
15:04
[SPEAKER_00]: It's going on in your brain.
15:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't think straight.
15:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm just like, he tricked me.
15:10
[SPEAKER_00]: He absolutely.
15:11
[SPEAKER_00]: He worked there.
15:12
[SPEAKER_00]: He worked me there.
15:12
[SPEAKER_02]: He lowered me there.
15:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
15:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And I go into the kitchen.
15:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still on the phone with 911.
15:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And I backed myself into a corner and she's like, ma'am, just stay there for a minute.
15:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm calling them right now.
15:25
[SPEAKER_02]: They're on their way.
15:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you hurting?
15:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I don't know.
15:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
15:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
15:29
[SPEAKER_02]: He pushed me in the bedroom.
15:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I don't, I don't fucking know.
15:32
[SPEAKER_02]: He comes in the kitchen.
15:33
[SPEAKER_02]: He sees him on the phone with 911.
15:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And he grabbed my arm.
15:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So hard, he dislocated my elbow.
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And then again, I fell.
15:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know if I fell back or forward.
15:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And when I fell, I landed on my elbow.
15:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I popped it back in then.
15:52
[SPEAKER_02]: But then everything just happened so fast.
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
15:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And he grabbed my ankle and I was like literally just like this ragged album rip around the kitchen floor.
16:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember flipping onto my stomach.
16:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And at that point, I think there were stools on the ground, and the stool got caught in my arms.
16:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And now they're hitting me on the face.
16:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just remember like thinking, like, like, I could fucking die right now.
16:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what the fuck is happening?
16:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And so he's pulling at me.
16:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to flip my body.
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: My daughter's screaming outside.
16:30
[SPEAKER_02]: What the fuck is going on security gets there?
16:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And the boyfriend had opened the door.
16:37
[SPEAKER_02]: He didn't lock it.
16:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, shut the fucking door.
16:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Get out of my house and if he had to let go, if he let go of me, then he couldn't close the door.
16:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And so the door stayed open.
16:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And the security guard, my daughter's trying to get in.
16:49
[SPEAKER_02]: The boyfriend's holding him back.
16:50
[SPEAKER_02]: She's seeing that she goes to the window and sees him and she's videoing.
16:55
[SPEAKER_02]: We have a video of her grabbing her phone real quick, trying to get in.
16:58
[SPEAKER_02]: She's like, that's my mom.
17:00
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just pure chaos.
17:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, that's my mom.
17:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And she's talking to the security.
17:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because the lines were open just enough to see through, but we could get over the in lines.
17:12
[SPEAKER_02]: They were open.
17:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
17:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, we should see him.
17:15
[SPEAKER_02]: She videoed and she got him grabbing me at one of the points and like flipping you and getting on top of me.
17:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, literally basically just
17:26
[SPEAKER_00]: He's beautiful.
17:27
[SPEAKER_01]: He's huge.
17:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, I'm So you guys back and forth in this video.
17:34
[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's brutal.
17:35
[SPEAKER_00]: This is words cannot describe what
17:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you can't story tell this and imagine what he did to her.
17:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Like what he did to her was fucking awful.
17:50
[SPEAKER_00]: It looked like one of those dummies, you know, that just got flipped around.
17:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I just looked so small, like, yeah, oh yeah.
18:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, I just kept trying to think of like,
18:04
[SPEAKER_02]: how to protect myself like I was thinking of how but not in at one point.
18:10
[SPEAKER_02]: He had my leg all the way up above his head.
18:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So a six three man with my ankle above his head.
18:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I was completely inverted.
18:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I've heard it, invert it, I don't know.
18:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And, yeah, invert it, yeah.
18:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And I remember thinking, don't let him pick you up.
18:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay on the ground, do not get on him, do not let him pick you up.
18:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, what's he gonna do?
18:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Pick me up and slam me.
18:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Is he going to pick me up and throw me outside?
18:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Is he going to take me to the bedroom?
18:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know this person anymore.
18:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Like his eyes, there was no soul.
18:54
[SPEAKER_02]: No, they go black.
18:55
[SPEAKER_02]: He went black.
18:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
18:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know who was in front of me anymore and I was terrified.
19:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And I never, and this is the hard part because I do have a lot of training.
19:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I could have swiped him.
19:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I could have flipped him and I could have gotten him down.
19:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I know how to do that.
19:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just, there was still parts of me that was like, I couldn't because it was him.
19:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't, I don't fucking know it's so weird.
19:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you were given like slapping him, hitting him, anything, nothing, not worse.
19:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I got myself that gown.
19:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I know when he got me over his head.
19:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I somehow like wiggle that out flipped and he came down on me.
19:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I kind of like turned to the side and it's very like jujitsu.
19:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I like kind of trimmed over to the side and kind of go into a ball and he grabbed my sweatshirt from the back and pulled it over my head.
19:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it was literally choking me.
19:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like choking myself and mind you, my purse is on me.
20:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I had a crossbody purse.
20:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, this is fucking it.
20:07
[SPEAKER_02]: This is how I die.
20:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I die by choking up a sweatshirt of my purse on the floor from my boyfriend and my daughters gonna watch.
20:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And meantime, on the outside, the security guard is fucking watching and holding them back and telling him, you can't go in.
20:24
[SPEAKER_02]: If you go in, you will be arrested.
20:27
[SPEAKER_02]: The cops are on their way.
20:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Mind you.
20:29
[SPEAKER_02]: The girl is still on 911.
20:31
[SPEAKER_02]: She's all of this.
20:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what a fucking phone is by now.
20:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's now, I think he's screaming at me to leave.
20:38
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to just fucking leave.
20:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's not letting you leave.
20:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like he was saying things to put on a show to make it look like, yeah, you were there.
20:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
20:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And you weren't supposed to be there.
20:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
20:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was the victim again.
20:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And you were some crazy psycho bitch that was in his house and wouldn't get out.
21:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
21:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's literally what he told security to.
21:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And the boyfriend we have video and he's like, you mean I can't go in there.
21:11
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, look at her.
21:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Look what he's doing right now.
21:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, because it's just madness.
21:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fighting for my life in front of my child and her boyfriend in front of security.
21:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And that fucking security guard let him beat the shit out of me.
21:24
[SPEAKER_02]: because he said we get arrested if we go on private property and they're you're just going to be here for them like exactly exactly and what kind of man just watches that happen anyways rules are not rules just
21:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, the point of them seeing me being dragged across the floor with my sweatshirt over my head and I'm just like grabbing by my neck.
21:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm like, don't get left in this get breathing space.
21:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember thinking that and I was like, get out get out because in jujitsu, we practice being choked by your own G and like getting out and I was like, get fucking out and I got out.
22:01
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
22:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I like thank God though that you had that, right, that instinct that training, I just knew to make space there in my throat.
22:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And we were so gasped.
22:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I was sweating, I was crying, I was screaming, stop, stop, you're hurting me, like go let go, like the video of me just begging for my life is.
22:26
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, I don't even recognize my own voice.
22:30
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I don't know who that was screaming for help.
22:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And I got out, so now my sweatshirt and purse is somewhere.
22:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm calling to the door.
22:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It slipped off, right?
22:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that's you wiggle now and I got it off.
22:43
[SPEAKER_00]: So now you're just in sports bra and the shorts and my shorts.
22:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I crawled at the door and I get myself through the door.
22:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm sitting like in between the door jam.
22:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So one leg is out and one leg is in.
22:57
[SPEAKER_02]: He starts taking the door just slamming it on my body.
23:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And at that point my daughter and her boyfriend were there and he put his like foot in the way and he was stopping it.
23:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So it wasn't hitting me anymore and I was trying to reach back in the house for my purse and I like where the fuck is my phone and I'm trying to get out.
23:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Your watch came off.
23:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, my watch.
23:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, everything.
23:25
[SPEAKER_02]: He said that the boyfriends is screaming now too and he's like the fuck are you doing He's and he's like start screaming at my daughter my and then the boyfriends like you don't fucking talk to her that way He's like what are you gonna do big man?
23:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like what are you gonna do take on these 18-year-old kids?
23:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I'm just sitting here in the doorway where the fuck are the cops, where the fuck are the cops such a fucking piece of shit and meanwhile this courage is a standing there.
23:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Spuckings.
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm really there.
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just unbelievable to me.
23:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's insane like the whole situation is just fucking insane.
23:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it gets worse as you know I know I know we if the cops had come at that moment they probably would have come up and around the corner with gunstrong yeah that's how intense it was and like what he was doing to me with the door yeah this is you know a life threat like
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever, he doesn't even need it in care.
24:30
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, he did not care about hurting me or anyone else at that point.
24:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Was he saying shit to you, do you remember like in in those moments like directly to you or was he just fucking shut off?
24:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I just remember a lot of like get out, get out, you fucking bitch.
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, this is because your house get off my property.
24:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Just playing the fucking part for security in 1911.
24:56
[SPEAKER_00]: that he hears you are doing anything to him.
24:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember you telling me at some point he was saying something to you along the lines of you didn't care about him.
25:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You only cared about the fucking car.
25:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like I remember that too.
25:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I got about that.
25:11
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, yeah, about anything.
25:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You just care about that.
25:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And
25:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, he just like lost it like after that.
25:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's that's yeah, and it's just like what the fuck dude.
25:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and then my phone, I think was thrown somewhere by the door.
25:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And the next thing I hear is man, man, are you okay?
25:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I grabbed my phone, I'm in the door jam.
25:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're in this deadlock in a way.
25:39
[SPEAKER_02]: They're moving the door open with their foot in the way.
25:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's pushing and trying to get me out.
25:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I grab my phone.
25:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I'm here.
25:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here.
25:46
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, they're almost there.
25:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm starting to get out the door and then the cops walked up.
25:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, are you okay?
25:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you there?
25:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I'm here.
25:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, are you hurt?
25:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And it just goes hang like, I don't know.
25:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't
25:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
25:59
[SPEAKER_02]: At that point, I think I went into shock.
26:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so fucking lootly.
26:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think trauma brain just was there that moment.
26:08
[SPEAKER_02]: There were four cops, but you shut down.
26:11
[SPEAKER_02]: You shut down.
26:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I crawled out in my bra and shorts.
26:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I come over here.
26:20
[SPEAKER_02]: One takes me over.
26:22
[SPEAKER_02]: One takes the kids over.
26:23
[SPEAKER_02]: One goes in with him.
26:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just remember standing there and I just help my arm and I'm like shaking and it's not cool.
26:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just like shaking no it's like are you okay?
26:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you hurt do you need ambulance?
26:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like shaking I'm like no no I'm fine.
26:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
26:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine and my daughter told me later she's like you just kept saying the same thing.
26:46
[SPEAKER_02]: You just kept saying I'm okay.
26:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
26:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was holding my arm and I was like I don't know what's wrong with my wrist.
26:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I think something's wrong with my wrist and it wasn't my well.
26:55
[SPEAKER_02]: My wrist was one rose.
26:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was, I think it was my elbow, but I couldn't register that.
27:01
[SPEAKER_02]: They pulled the kids over, asked them why they were there, what their names were, didn't ask them what happened.
27:09
[SPEAKER_02]: My daughter had video on the phone, no one ever to ask.
27:13
[SPEAKER_02]: He was asked, I very, I hardly remember him asking me, he's like, what happened?
27:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Why are you here?
27:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And I told them,
27:18
[SPEAKER_02]: you know, we're breaking up.
27:20
[SPEAKER_02]: He, I needed him to sign this title.
27:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I know that you're told him that I said, he, he lured me in, grabbed the title from me.
27:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I tried to get it.
27:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that's when everything happened.
27:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, are you hurt?
27:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you need an ambulance though?
27:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, I don't know.
27:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
27:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
27:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm, I'm totally fine.
27:40
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm, I'm fine.
27:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm okay.
27:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just shaking.
27:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think at some point someone brought me.
27:48
[SPEAKER_02]: My, no, that's a lie.
27:49
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a fucking lie.
27:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'll tell you why that's a lie later.
27:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, shouldn't have brought me my clothes.
27:53
[SPEAKER_02]: No, that's a lie.
27:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just sitting there.
27:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because at this point, you're in your brain.
27:58
[SPEAKER_00]: You're just like, in shock.
28:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
28:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You're, you just love this situation.
28:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It should be over.
28:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
28:04
[SPEAKER_00]: You just, you just wanted to fucking end.
28:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And little do you know, because it still hasn't registered what a fucking monster this person is.
28:15
[SPEAKER_00]: that this person completely set you up, that this person is inside his home talking to a police officer painting himself as the victim.
28:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You didn't know you needed to be on defense at this point.
28:31
[SPEAKER_00]: right zero because they will do that.
28:34
[SPEAKER_00]: These fucking narcissists will absolutely play the victim and lie and manipulate and and they could have the smallest scratch on them and you you hit him or you did this or they will lie through their fucking teeth to get what they fucking want.
28:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I just at that point I wanted to go home.
28:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I just was done.
28:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even care anymore.
28:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like,
29:00
[SPEAKER_02]: The other cap was with the security guard.
29:01
[SPEAKER_02]: That's where the other one was.
29:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't remember.
29:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like there was four.
29:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're rich with with.
29:07
[SPEAKER_02]: The next thing I know, Jen, they walk out.
29:11
[SPEAKER_02]: They come up to me, come behind me and put me in fucking handcuffs and arrested me.
29:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
29:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So I got arrested for the assault.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, did you have any for trespassing?
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it seemed like there was something else.
29:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, felony, felony.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm domestic violence.
29:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And at that point, he's trying to take my arm behind me.
29:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, yeah, I him and my arm like that.
29:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, what is happening?
29:49
[SPEAKER_02]: What are you doing?
29:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, you're being on your, you're under arrest.
29:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, for fucking what?
29:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And what is your daughter?
29:57
[SPEAKER_02]: standing there crying going like what the fuck is happening.
29:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
30:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And they kept him in the house.
30:02
[SPEAKER_02]: He didn't come out.
30:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said, for what?
30:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And they said he said that you attacked him.
30:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, I just told you.
30:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're like, he has scratches on his body.
30:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And I looked at him.
30:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And I said scratches.
30:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, you haven't even looked at me.
30:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, what is happening?
30:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And I turn
30:27
[SPEAKER_02]: call on Glam, call my brother, call on Glam.
30:32
[SPEAKER_02]: He'll know what to do, which he's just crying.
30:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, this is not fucking happening and I get in the cop car.
30:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, are you kidding me?
30:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, now a adrenaline is leaving.
30:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Pain is setting in.
30:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm realizing how fucked up I am.
30:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm sitting there and I look at it, I'm like, you didn't even look at me.
30:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And he looks down.
30:56
[SPEAKER_02]: It means he grabs out his cell phone in the dark cop car.
31:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, where do you think you're hurt?
31:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my God.
31:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like everywhere.
31:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And I looked down at my hands and now, like the bruises are starting to show on my wrist.
31:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know where else the file I was hurt.
31:13
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'm like my elbow hurts.
31:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I like this hurts.
31:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, look at my knee.
31:17
[SPEAKER_02]: My knees were so cold.
31:19
[SPEAKER_00]: face was fucked up.
31:20
[SPEAKER_00]: You're ass.
31:21
[SPEAKER_00]: They did your ass shake was, yeah, of course, you can't show me your ass.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: But what blows my mind is like, what was he even getting scratched from?
31:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You have short nails.
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know what I mean?
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think that's fucking bullshit.
31:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Like anything that he probably even had scratched on his body was probably from entanglement.
31:39
[SPEAKER_00]: If I said, he was pausing or in, you know, passing.
31:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Cause even then, how the fuck?
31:46
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, I would be like, I got, look at my fucking nails.
31:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, like, Jen's, you know, I think I did.
31:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I even at one point.
31:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, what did he get scratched with?
31:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't, I don't have or do nails.
31:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And yeah, it's like people that murder people, and they have scratches on them.
32:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you go and check the murder victim, and they have blood and tissue and stuff under their nails.
32:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And those nails, right?
32:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yeah, that's what it reminds me of.
32:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And I digress, but yeah, because, you know, I'm in the back of a fucking cop car now.
32:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just being a dick that's cop.
32:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just sat quiet because I'm like, don't get yourself in trouble.
32:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
32:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Rise me to the police station.
32:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't have my fucking phone.
32:27
[SPEAKER_02]: They might have gotten my phone.
32:29
[SPEAKER_02]: They did.
32:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You did get your phone.
32:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
32:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Because that's the only way I got phone numbers.
32:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I get there.
32:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And they walk me in.
32:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'll never forget like the smell.
32:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's all men.
32:43
[SPEAKER_02]: All fucking men.
32:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I walk in there and I'm just like, and they're looking at me.
32:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And everyone fucking looked at me and knew what happened.
32:53
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, everyone knew I had no business being there.
32:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
32:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And they're asking me all these questions.
33:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just like, shaking.
33:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm fucking cold now.
33:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And this woman comes out.
33:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, I'm gonna get you something.
33:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I ended up like getting asked all these questions and fucking finger printed and and booked I was under arrest, they put in this tiny ass cell and they're like you get three phone calls, you know, like, who do you want to call Jed, I didn't know anyone, my brain could only register you like, yeah, the last person I talked to and I'm like, I don't know any phone numbers, you know, nobody was there, no, yeah.
33:40
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no one knew, I was there, but you and my daughter, and I had, like, my brain would not work.
33:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And I know fucking like three lawyers that I could have called.
33:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I didn't know anyone.
33:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I like, I knew I called you.
33:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
33:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew you.
33:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And I, I just tried thinking of, like, other numbers on my phone.
34:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And I grabbed my brothers, like, I don't know, and my daughters.
34:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't, my daughter's number.
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, isn't it crazy how we just don't even think and you get like you get like two minutes like that's it so as soon as I could.
34:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And my tiny little like little sell and I started dialing numbers and I finally got through to my brother.
34:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, um, it's me, it's like you beat the fucking shit out of me, they arrested me.
34:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I hear he's like, just stop walking.
34:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't say anything else.
34:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything is he's here.
34:34
[SPEAKER_00]: He's even in it too.
34:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
34:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:36
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, save your minutes.
34:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm figuring it out.
34:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't talk.
34:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry.
34:41
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to bail you out.
34:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Just stay there.
34:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm taking care of it.
34:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's just hung up.
34:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
34:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I finally got a hold of my daughter and she's like, I'm out here.
34:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know what to do.
34:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a hold of it.
34:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, it's fine.
34:53
[SPEAKER_02]: We're getting it under control.
34:54
[SPEAKER_02]: We're taking care of it.
34:56
[SPEAKER_02]: And then this woman came out and she opened the door.
34:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And she just looked at me and she brought me a shirt.
35:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And she was like, you don't even have to say anything.
35:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
35:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And she couldn't say anything to me.
35:10
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, she can't mess with that.
35:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And she just looked at me and she's like,
35:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And she's like, just be lucky that you're alive.
35:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
35:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, if your daughter wouldn't have been there, what would have happened if I would have just said I'm going to Uber back.
35:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because I feel like.
35:30
[SPEAKER_00]: When you called 911, he went on defense to play his game and called security.
35:36
[SPEAKER_00]: But I also feel like he did security because your daughter was there.
35:40
[SPEAKER_00]: He had to start playing that part.
35:43
[SPEAKER_00]: That psycho-fucking part of his brain was like, I'm gonna somehow flip this on her.
35:49
[SPEAKER_01]: And if she hadn't been there,
36:02
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think we would be having this conversation right now.
36:04
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, I don't think so either.
36:07
[SPEAKER_00]: He went back.
36:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I think he was so fucking enraged and so far gone.
36:13
[SPEAKER_00]: That I think he would have fucking killed you.
36:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know.
36:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just like, thank God, you didn't do the Uber thing, yeah, and thank God you were able to find your phone and dial 911 because then he knew.
36:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, that door was closing for him to do whatever he was doing.
36:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's just like, what even fucking went through this person's head.
36:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know it's stupid question to fucking ask, because we'll never understand what goes through somebody's head like that.
36:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You guys have been together for like a year almost at that point.
36:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
36:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like this man who said he loved you, who wanted this future with you, all these things.
37:07
[SPEAKER_01]: could do that to you.
37:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
37:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And no, um, no thank God that that they were there.
37:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the boyfriend, too, because who fucking knows if he would have dragged your daughter into that
37:24
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it, it was a terrible fucking situation, but it could have been, yes, so much fucking worse.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
37:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank God that it wasn't.
37:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just remember, you know, to, before we move forward with the gel thing and that part of the story and just give you a breather, um, I remember and this is what's really fucked up you guys is that, with my history of dating.
37:53
[SPEAKER_00]: a narcissist and being in a relationship with a narcissist being married to one, a diagnosed, you know, sociopathic narcissist, I know the roller coaster that they take you on emotionally and the push and pull and the push and pull and I remember thinking in my mind that Melissa's going to go over there and she's going to have this conversation with him and he's going to
38:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:22
[SPEAKER_00]: In my mind, that's I remember waiting.
38:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember waiting for like an hour, hour and a half.
38:28
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like 11 o'clock or something here.
38:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And, uh, you know, 11 30, which is way past my bedtime guys.
38:37
[SPEAKER_00]: But I remember staying awake like I had my phone on.
38:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I had my ringer on.
38:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was just waiting to hear that she was okay.
38:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and, and because of the history of mine and the history of you with him,
38:51
[SPEAKER_00]: where you would fight with him.
38:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember times you would text me and fight with him and then you'd disappear.
38:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was think I never in a million years thought that that was what was happening.
39:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if I would have thought that, you know, I would have said Melissa, I think that you need to have a police officer on the scene when you get there to keep the peace.
39:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we could go back and change a million different scenarios in this and you guys don't ever trust somebody in the situation.
39:22
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's even remotely volatile emotional situation you may feel like you're being over the top overboard.
39:31
[SPEAKER_00]: But just fucking call the police and say, I'm going to my ex's house work, changing things.
39:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you please meet me there?
39:38
[SPEAKER_00]: They will.
39:38
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll keep the peace.
39:39
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll say you've got five minutes.
39:41
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll stay on, you know, scene.
39:43
[SPEAKER_00]: They'll be there and they'll make sure that nothing goes fucking crazy.
39:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't ever feel like you're being.
39:51
[SPEAKER_00]: overly cautious because I feel like you can't because you truly don't fucking know what somebody's thinking or what they're going to do.
39:57
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
39:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And when they think that their world is falling apart and they have nothing to lose because they're losing everything because he knew he was losing me.
40:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's...
40:06
[SPEAKER_00]: They had, yeah, at that point he had nothing to lose, so he just went fucking, yes, Apesh it.
40:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and, and it was so crazy, I ended up falling asleep thinking, they're getting back together.
40:18
[SPEAKER_00]: They're working things out.
40:19
[SPEAKER_00]: She's probably fucking him right now, because that's what they do.
40:22
[SPEAKER_00]: They drag you in.
40:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that trauma bond.
40:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that push pull, push pull, push pull.
40:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And,
40:32
[SPEAKER_00]: at some point in the middle of the night, and you had called me, and I had that call from the council.
40:39
[SPEAKER_02]: From the council.
40:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
40:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to say, because I think people need to know the timeline of this.
40:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to say that you called me somewhere like three a.m. My time three, four a.m.
40:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, this was ours.
40:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
40:56
[SPEAKER_00]: This wasn't you went there.
40:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You got arrested.
41:00
[SPEAKER_00]: You went to jail.
41:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You were billed out.
41:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Like this was like, like what, like a five, six hour span of time.
41:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, like I don't even know it.
41:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm sure people are wondering too, like how in the world and why in the world did you get arrested?
41:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Like how does this even make sense?
41:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because in this is why we had Patrick Odell was his last name and he was talking about it's several episodes ago so go back and listen to it.
41:28
[SPEAKER_02]: But Odell, yes, Patrick Odell and he was talking about like the right things to say this is why you guys I had him on I said all the long things I didn't say I was fearful for my life.
41:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't say anything about the 911 because remember this is what was really fucked up.
41:44
[SPEAKER_02]: That 911 operator should have been communicating everything to the police on their way.
41:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, they're screaming.
41:52
[SPEAKER_02]: She's on the ground.
41:53
[SPEAKER_02]: There's yelling.
41:54
[SPEAKER_02]: He's on top of her because I kept saying, let go of me.
41:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't hurt like you're hurt me.
41:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she heard everything.
41:59
[SPEAKER_02]: That woman is probably fucking traumatized.
42:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And that should have been relieved of the cops, so they knew exactly what they were coming into.
42:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
42:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I wasn't that.
42:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I want a copy of the 911 tapes and I can't get it because I am the Purp perpetrator does a fucking unbelievable and what's the bullshit?
42:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's why he kept playing that part though too.
42:21
[SPEAKER_00]: He was sick enough and his fucking head to be sitting there playing the part of Get off of me Don't do that get out of my fucking house.
42:31
[SPEAKER_00]: He was
42:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, my ex has been to that shot so fucking triggering.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: He did that same exact shit like he never did this.
42:38
[SPEAKER_00]: He never assaulted me.
42:39
[SPEAKER_00]: His is all fucking emotional.
42:41
[SPEAKER_00]: But he would play those fucking parts.
42:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
42:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, and he was like, I know.
42:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting arrested.
42:46
[SPEAKER_02]: He knew that right away and in the state of California, when there is a domestic violence call, someone is going to jail.
42:55
[SPEAKER_02]: someone.
42:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Why wasn't that both people fucking going to jail?
42:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Like here in Utah?
43:00
[SPEAKER_00]: If there was marks on both people, both people would have been arrested.
43:06
[SPEAKER_00]: That would have went to court.
43:07
[SPEAKER_00]: There would have been a fucking hearing and they would have decided at that point who was this, but you were automatically deemed.
43:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: The fucking person that went after him, and he was the fucking victim.
43:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's because I said I was okay.
43:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't say enough or in detail enough or whatever that he physically hurt me.
43:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And they didn't even physically look at me.
43:33
[SPEAKER_02]: No one saw the signs of trauma.
43:34
[SPEAKER_02]: No one saw the signs of like, or not trauma, maybe being in shock.
43:38
[SPEAKER_02]: No one like looked and was like, clearly she's not even like, you know, and no one like took my arms, no one looked at me.
43:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I was like, I'm fine.
43:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
43:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
43:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
43:48
[SPEAKER_02]: By the time they looked at me, it was too late.
43:49
[SPEAKER_02]: They already put me on the arrest.
43:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I was already in handcuffs and then they looked at me.
43:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
43:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And then he was in there saying, she attacked me.
43:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Look, I have scratches on my hands.
44:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
44:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And since he had physical marks and said she attacked me,
44:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I was the one that was arrested.
44:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Make that make fucking sense.
44:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I just had thoughts of going after the police department.
44:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
44:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I have trust me.
44:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I've gone back and forth with all of this.
44:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I think there was just a lot of training happening that night.
44:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it was very young cops.
44:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And then one senior person and when that's when you're training, you've got to fucking let them do what they do.
44:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You're just there to supervise and I think that's what happened.
44:31
[SPEAKER_02]: there was a lot of really fucked up things like they didn't even get my statement and asked me what happened until I was already in a cell.
44:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, on the other thing, too, is it's not just going after the cops, it's like, how the fuck did you let him get away with everything?
44:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Great.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Cool.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's take Melissa to fucking gel.
44:46
[SPEAKER_00]: He's got scratches.
44:48
[SPEAKER_00]: How the fuck do you not after the fact say she has bruises
44:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And now the shock swearing off, this is what happened to her, why the fuck couldn't they go and arrest him after the fact they could have I would have had to have press charges and trust me didn't I went back and forth with that well the next day I spent the whole day.
45:17
[SPEAKER_02]: My brother was like you need to get a fucking lawyer immediately and you need to go to the hospital the next day.
45:25
[SPEAKER_00]: and you were taking pictures.
45:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so you got filled out and he said take pictures right when you go and it was like 5 30 in the morning we had slept, did I start taking off all of my clothes?
45:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was covered.
45:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And you know, I did, did I think to pull down my pants for the police to see my full of horror?
45:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I didn't even think of that.
45:49
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
45:50
[SPEAKER_02]: My entire arm, my elbows, my face.
45:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, I was like, did no one look at me?
45:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Because my nose was fucked up.
45:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, she had bruised across the bridge and her nose side, her entire fucking ass cheek.
46:04
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a bridge.
46:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Huge.
46:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and elbows knees everything you guys.
46:10
[SPEAKER_00]: She was literally bruised top to fucking bottom.
46:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And here's a really fucked up part of it, too.
46:19
[SPEAKER_02]: At the emergency room when I went because I did get a lawyer first thing morning I started calling I got one and he's like, you need to go you're doing everything right take pictures and everything and he's like, I'll start working on like this end of things that whole boy or thing was a nightmare thing too, but that's that's yeah there.
46:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, he was when I went there he's like, you can't say anything though.
46:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, what do you mean and he's like.
46:46
[SPEAKER_02]: you're the attacker.
46:47
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not the victim.
46:49
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, so when you go there, he's like, you can say that you were attacked and like that, you know, this is domestic violence and this is what happened in bubble wise, like you can say that they need to know how this happened, but as soon as you say that they're going to call the cops, every domestic violence call when they come into an ER or urgent care hospital, anywhere they have to call the cops, and he's like, you can't say anything.
47:08
[SPEAKER_02]: It will be used against you.
47:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you fucking kidding me?
47:12
[SPEAKER_02]: No, sure shit.
47:13
[SPEAKER_02]: The cops came and luckily my friend took me.
47:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I was, you know, shaped to drive or do anything.
47:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't even fill out the fucking forms.
47:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I just shook for like three days straight and speaking of driving, like, so you had the car still, but no title now because he kept the title, the unsigned title.
47:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you end up back with the truck?
47:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
47:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's what we drove home that night.
47:39
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's real.
47:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
47:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're daughter took the truck.
47:44
[SPEAKER_00]: She's and then that's yeah, I don't even know her side.
47:48
[SPEAKER_02]: She got the key.
47:49
[SPEAKER_02]: She got the truck.
47:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that's what she drove me home in and.
47:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
47:54
[SPEAKER_02]: But yeah, at the hospital, I couldn't tell him what happened.
47:58
[SPEAKER_02]: He came.
47:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I got came and I was like, look, you can clearly see what happened to me.
48:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So I couldn't even, and they more said say nothing, say nothing and my friend just kept saying, we can't talk.
48:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We can't talk because anything would have been said could have been used against me because I was the one that was arrested.
48:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Because there was already an open case that they did.
48:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I was you were talking.
48:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow, and the topic came, you know, he looked at me and he was catching on to what I was saying.
48:25
[SPEAKER_02]: But he was like, he turned off his camera.
48:28
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, this is off the record.
48:29
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, like you could talk and I'm like, no, I'm not fucking talking to you.
48:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you kidding me?
48:33
[SPEAKER_00]: like I trust anybody that's a police officer right now that's not my family.
48:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I like I fucking trust you, sure but and then he just ended up had to leave and he was just like she won't talk to me.
48:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So um after that I went home.
48:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And the next day, maybe than that day, I don't even know what fucking days it is.
48:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a text from him.
49:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, he said something so like, I can't believe this all happened or like, none of this.
49:06
[SPEAKER_02]: None of this feels right.
49:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I think is what he said.
49:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what he said.
49:09
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
49:10
[SPEAKER_00]: That's right.
49:11
[SPEAKER_00]: None of this feels right.
49:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Like he's just trying to be like, all my gosh, I'm so remorseful.
49:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And I brother, my lawyer, they're all like, don't engage, you know,
49:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, there's so many other parts of the story, but long story short, and I didn't engage back, and that just made him even more mad.
49:31
[SPEAKER_02]: The next day, I got a text, and he said, I'm coming to get the car.
49:37
[SPEAKER_02]: That's my car.
49:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm coming to fucking get it.
49:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So clearly there was no remorse.
49:41
[SPEAKER_02]: It wasn't like, hey, can we talk?
49:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, hey, I'm going to sign this.
49:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I just want you to be okay.
49:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I know you fucking got to, like, nothing.
49:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like, nope, I'm going to fucking come and get to what's mine.
49:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, you can't, I gave you a money for that car.
49:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I bought it.
49:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So one story short with that, um, I fucking, he come.
50:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, he says, he says, he says,
50:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, because I remember you took away his access to be able to get into your residential neighborhood.
50:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
50:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's, and because you were like, no, I don't want him to come get the car because you were trying to buy yourself time to be able to work this out in court to, you know, you know, yeah, exactly.
50:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And just like Holy shit, he's going to come and take the fucking car, but he ended up calling the fucking police.
50:30
[SPEAKER_02]: He said he was coming.
50:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
50:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, to get his property and he played the whole fucking system.
50:37
[SPEAKER_00]: This guy played the system.
50:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sorry, Melissa, because again, I don't, I'm not putting any blame on use of it.
50:45
[SPEAKER_00]: But this guy, this is not his first fucking rodeo.
50:48
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no fucking way that you are the first woman that he did this to.
50:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that man was like,
50:57
[SPEAKER_00]: he just he fucking had it all mapped out he knew everything to say he knew everything to do yeah he knew who who fucking does that well who knows how to do that I know he's immediately started calling his friends and talking to people because his verbidgenous text to me was very like
51:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, this came from a lawyer, or this came from one legal, yeah, someone in the legal field, and he came with a said he was coming with a police officer to keep the peace and he'll be retrieving the vehicle.
51:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And since that car and title was in his name, I had no ground to stand on.
51:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was talking with my brother and going back and forth, and they were like, look,
51:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, you can fight this the only way you can fight it is in civil court.
51:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
51:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So, okay.
51:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to have this car sit in my garage for months until this is handled in civil court.
51:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I have to see him again and do all this and he's like, or you have to decide when they show up at your house.
51:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to decide if this is the hell you're going to die on or not.
51:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I got all my proof.
52:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I gathered all the proof of payments of insurance to him, money transferred to him, everything that I possibly could.
52:08
[SPEAKER_02]: The cop came in.
52:09
[SPEAKER_02]: He took one look at me and was like, what the fuck?
52:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And I looked at him and I was like, I can't tell you what happened.
52:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But I am scared of the man out in the road right now.
52:21
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not allowed on my property at all.
52:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, I am scared for my life right now.
52:25
[SPEAKER_02]: and he just looked at me and I was like, this is my car.
52:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I paid for it.
52:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's all the proof.
52:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I paid for this car and he never signed the title over.
52:36
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why I had the title and now he thinks he's coming to get it and he looks at me.
52:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And my brother, the whole time was like, the cop can't do anything.
52:43
[SPEAKER_02]: The cop should take one look at this and be like, this is it.
52:46
[SPEAKER_02]: This is it.
52:47
[SPEAKER_00]: It's civil and walk in the same way for yeah, you guys.
52:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You have no warrant.
52:51
[SPEAKER_00]: You have no proof of fucking anything.
52:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the car is on your private property.
52:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
52:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember having this conversation with you before they got their saying, Melissa, there's no way they can fucking take the car.
53:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I was going to wait a week on FaceTime and the cop was like, I can't talk to you.
53:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's like, no, dude, hey, come on, like, the, the, the, he's like, I am with whatever, you know, this is what I do, like, whatever, and he's like, yeah, he's like, I'm going to go talk to him.
53:16
[SPEAKER_02]: He goes outside.
53:17
[SPEAKER_02]: He talks to him.
53:18
[SPEAKER_02]: He comes back in and he says, he said that you paid that car off for him.
53:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, he can go to different cars.
53:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So.
53:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Look, you got two choices and he's like, I can already tell what kind of guy I'm dealing with right now.
53:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, Oh, I bet you can, yeah, look, we can leave this.
53:38
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, but I can tell you right now.
53:39
[SPEAKER_02]: He's going to report it stolen and it's in your garage.
53:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I could get fucking arrested for having a stolen vehicle.
53:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And at this point, I'm like, yeah, and that part of me, he had the app that ran that car, he managed the app on that car like he could have fucked with you so far on track, yep, exactly.
54:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, you were fucked.
54:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you were fucked.
54:06
[SPEAKER_02]: You were fucked.
54:07
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
54:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had to let it go, given the car.
54:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I had to fucking just get my stuff out.
54:14
[SPEAKER_02]: My daughter and my friend got everything out of that car that I had paid for and I had to let it go.
54:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And what's funny, I don't know why this bothers me, but someone had to drive him here to my house.
54:28
[SPEAKER_02]: and they just got in.
54:30
[SPEAKER_02]: My date, my guard didn't protect me at all.
54:33
[SPEAKER_02]: He was on a warning list.
54:34
[SPEAKER_02]: He was not to be entered in.
54:36
[SPEAKER_02]: He just went in and was like, hey, buddy, don't have my card or don't have whatever.
54:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Just fucking came in.
54:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, my God.
54:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And someone had to drive him there.
54:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, who the fuck did you tell this story to that they were like, yeah, man, I'll drive you to go get the car from that bitch.
54:51
[SPEAKER_02]: You know,
54:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Who did you, how in the world did you convince others of this?
55:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And later I found out, he did say like his whole, he's like, no, you bought that car.
55:07
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like, you paid that car off for me.
55:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So I could get the other car.
55:10
[SPEAKER_02]: That was the deal that you were going to pay off.
55:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, hold on, you want me to tell me that I sold my car.
55:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, how do you buy a car so that I
55:20
[SPEAKER_02]: So I don't have a car.
55:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that makes sense.
55:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I was your sugar mama.
55:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I was your sugar mama.
55:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just buying you fucking cars.
55:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just like paying off your car.
55:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And oh, you were just letting me drive it.
55:33
[SPEAKER_02]: OK.
55:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So they took my car.
55:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So not only did he beat the shit out of me, got me fucking arrested.
55:40
[SPEAKER_02]: He stole my car.
55:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I was thousands, I've lost thousands of dollars of the, the tens of thousands of dollars between the interior, the mayor.
55:53
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not just what does fucking person did to you.
55:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, the fucking therapy, just the trauma, like I couldn't go to the gym.
56:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you changed gyms.
56:06
[SPEAKER_02]: For now, I didn't change gyms, I stayed.
56:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
56:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's like, yeah, you thought he had a relationship there a couple times.
56:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, saw him.
56:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I, yeah, my safe place became not my safe place anymore.
56:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, not even a mention.
56:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't physically curl, I had, I tried everything to fix that.
56:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't use my butt cheek, my leg, my brain.
56:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I forgot to pick up my kids.
56:32
[SPEAKER_02]: I forgot to feed my dogs.
56:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't, I just, I couldn't.
56:37
[SPEAKER_02]: driving that piece of shit fucking truck?
56:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and then I had to drive my attacker's truck for several weeks so I could figure out how to get another car.
56:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
56:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still paying for all of this in so many ways.
56:51
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't just mean like financially.
56:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just like I'm still paying for it.
56:54
[SPEAKER_02]: But it also has taught me so many lessons.
56:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just want, you know, anyone listening to this to know.
57:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Look for the signs.
57:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't go back.
57:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And there could have been times where I could have went back.
57:08
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I think God universe.
57:11
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I've gone through this in therapy and I think I needed every single one of those things to happen to me, I needed to get the ship physically kicked out of me like not need but like it had to be part of my puzzle to not go back and if that didn't do it, that fucker lets you get arrested.
57:28
[SPEAKER_02]: He didn't count saying anything and my brother just kept saying what fucking man What's a woman get arrested like for that like what fucking that's not a man and then what's such a fucking pussy To this plan the fucking victim like that like that what I mean just who does that can pacet it?
57:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you and then little fucking small man?
57:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, and then if those weren't enough for me the universe is like
57:53
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to come back and steal your car.
57:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So there was no fucking forgiving.
58:00
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, he is those fucking things on singularly.
58:04
[SPEAKER_00]: But then you put all of the three together, it's like, oh, fucking absolutely not.
58:09
[SPEAKER_00]: But he still kept fucking coming around.
58:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, they always come back.
58:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I'm going to talk to you that you didn't believe it, but wait.
58:17
[SPEAKER_02]: You're fucking.
58:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my good moody has a song six months later.
58:21
[SPEAKER_02]: It is sure is shit.
58:24
[SPEAKER_00]: He still fucking pops up.
58:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And for people that are wondering, like, well, why the fuck is he got access to her, right?
58:29
[SPEAKER_00]: like why do fuck does this guy have access to her phone to still be able to text her?
58:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you again, this is another thing if you don't fucking know, like if you've never been this, there is the craziest amount of panic that fucking happens when our attacker cannot
58:48
[SPEAKER_00]: get a hold of us and we're sitting there thinking are they going to show up outside our fucking door are they going to show up at the fucking gym it's almost like you have to leave the door open just a fucking crack so that you know where they're at you kind of kind of have an understanding of their crazy like okay they're fucking pissed at me like they're not coming around or they're like they're trying to be nice yeah they're trying to
59:12
[SPEAKER_00]: They're leaving me alone.
59:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not hearing anything from them, you know, like there's sometimes where you have to leave that door open just enough so that you know where the fuck they are out that day.
59:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, to gauge your safety because they will show up in your fucking house.
59:30
[SPEAKER_00]: They will show up in the gym.
59:32
[SPEAKER_00]: They will do all those things, but he's finally fucking left to you alone like yeah seems like now for the last couple months ever since yeah the last yeah text but it's been a while now and
59:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just, you would say things to him and be like, you took my car.
59:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
59:49
[SPEAKER_00]: You did confront him at times.
59:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
59:51
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember that.
59:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But like, are you serious right now?
59:55
[SPEAKER_00]: You had me arrested.
59:57
[SPEAKER_00]: You beat the shit out of me.
59:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
59:58
[SPEAKER_00]: You stole my fucking car.
1:00:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And each time, what would you say to you?
1:00:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, well, it was the whole.
1:00:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't do that.
1:00:07
[SPEAKER_02]: You did that to yourself.
1:00:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, let me show you the bruises.
1:00:12
[SPEAKER_02]: It didn't, but yeah, he said that they, with like the whole resting thing, he's like, there's nothing I could do and you did scratch me, you did attack me.
1:00:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It was just all like trying to justify
1:00:29
[SPEAKER_02]: making that right in your hat.
1:00:31
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't fucking know, but yeah, it's always an excuse.
1:00:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that's when I would block him.
1:00:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And I would get my space and it's just it's such a fucking weird web.
1:00:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I am so grateful for what happened because I have learned so much about it and about myself.
1:00:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And I know.
1:00:52
[SPEAKER_02]: If I hadn't talked about it, I hadn't gotten that there would be like very easily I could have gone back even after all of those three things.
1:00:58
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just a fucking mind trip.
1:01:02
[SPEAKER_00]: They have their craziest one of but sucking you back in the even like even if it's just hooking back up even if it's just meeting them somewhere.
1:01:12
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like there's all these little things that they that they fucking do to manipulate your brain.
1:01:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and
1:01:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so hard.
1:01:21
[SPEAKER_00]: It's so hard to break away, but but you did.
1:01:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I guess I can get most women go back and I was like, I'm not, I'm not going to fucking do it.
1:01:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And now I just hope that this.
1:01:35
[SPEAKER_02]: situation and me sharing and getting it out there can release like shame and guilt for other women like it fucking happened to me.
1:01:43
[SPEAKER_02]: It could happen to you.
1:01:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And now that you've heard this, maybe it won't happen to you.
1:01:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Now maybe you can learn from my story, learn what happened.
1:01:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Seam warning signs get out.
1:01:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't go back.
1:01:56
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it, that would have happened again and again and again had I not, you know, and I just want as hard as this is to share and to talk about and to relive, I think I just want to end with this and just let people know to like always talk always share and if you feel that there are things you're like, why just don't want anyone I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want them to think he's a dig or she's a bit you're like, this is toxic like really question that because then that's something that.
1:02:26
[SPEAKER_02]: you should not be keeping to yourself then.
1:02:29
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
1:02:29
[SPEAKER_02]: No.
1:02:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And that person shouldn't be behaving in a way anyways, that would make someone think that they're an asshole.
1:02:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we're all not perfect.
1:02:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I get it.
1:02:36
[SPEAKER_02]: We all do fuck up, but like deeper than that.
1:02:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Really deeper than that of like.
1:02:43
[SPEAKER_02]: what is going on here, you know?
1:02:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So, yeah, I'm going to write one of myself.
1:02:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't, I'm done talking.
1:02:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, next time we come on, I think we should pick up from here, Jen and like our next episode, go through things that I know we'll get DMs on this and emails and questions and we'll probably go through all those.
1:03:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so if you guys do want to say anything or do our questions and you don't email us, it's Melissa Vogel at gmail.com or DM me.
1:03:10
[SPEAKER_02]: D.M.
1:03:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Jan and we'll probably go through a lot of things later, too.
1:03:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for sure.
1:03:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean, this is something now that the story is out there.
1:03:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Now we can highlight it in different things when different topics come up.
1:03:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And things like that and it won't have to be so like, Hush, Hush, you know.
1:03:26
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, wait.
1:03:27
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to tell the whole story so you get the whole big picture.
1:03:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
1:03:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Yep.
1:03:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I agree.
1:03:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for listening guys, Jen.
1:03:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for reliving it with me and walking through.
1:03:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
1:03:38
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just literally, I hope this helps someone.
1:03:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope this can help someone heal and save them from abuse or worse.
1:03:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
1:03:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm proud of you.
1:03:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been telling you, and you know, this is hard, but it's good.
1:03:54
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I am.
1:03:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm
1:03:58
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, everyone.
1:03:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, stay safe, stay healthy, until next time.
1:04:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Bye, guys.
1:04:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Bye.
1:04:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey guys, I'm back.
1:04:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so we just ended this episode and I know it kind of just we kind of end and there was a lot like I said in the beginning of this episode that still wasn't shared.
1:04:19
[SPEAKER_02]: There are a lot of missing pieces to the story.
1:04:24
[SPEAKER_02]: That was missed and I think it's a lot of because my brain was just trying to get everything out.
1:04:29
[SPEAKER_02]: But one of the first things that I was realizing that I didn't say at the end and
1:04:36
[SPEAKER_02]: like really is important to know is that all charges against me were dropped, we're in every in filed, like the next day, everything was dismissed.
1:04:46
[SPEAKER_02]: The DA took one look at the pictures that we submitted as evidence and was like,
1:04:51
[SPEAKER_02]: what the fuck?
1:04:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And everything was dismissed.
1:04:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So, um, no, I was not charged with anything, but we were looking at felony domestic violence charges.
1:05:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, that's how serious I got and how ridiculous this was, but like, it all came on me because I didn't know what to say and because, um, I stood there
1:05:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
1:05:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine.
1:05:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm fine when I wasn't fine.
1:05:20
[SPEAKER_02]: So I wanted to come back on here and let you know, again, that we're going to have a part three.
1:05:24
[SPEAKER_02]: So tune in next week.
1:05:26
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to have a part three to the story.
1:05:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're going to answer all of the questions that are coming in.
1:05:32
[SPEAKER_02]: We're already getting a ton of questions that are coming in.
1:05:36
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to kind of fill in the gaps with things and just kind of
1:05:39
[SPEAKER_02]: reiterate some of the important parts, but I want to make sure I come on here and let you know that there is another one coming out.
1:05:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Again, this was just a lot to get out.
1:05:47
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a lot of information.
1:05:48
[SPEAKER_02]: We're getting a lot of questions on it.
1:05:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just want to make sure we address each and every single one of them.
1:05:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And give you a place to ask questions.
1:05:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, so right into the show.
1:05:56
[SPEAKER_02]: It's Melissa Vogel at gmail.com or.
1:05:59
[SPEAKER_02]: DM me at it's multiple.
1:06:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Go on Instagram.
1:06:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Facebook.
1:06:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm on there all the time and that's where we're getting a lot of the messages at.
1:06:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So ask ask way.
1:06:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm here to help and hear to learn.
1:06:08
[SPEAKER_02]: So I hope everyone took something away.
1:06:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going to say.
1:06:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope you enjoy the show because I know it's kind of a little bit different, but stay tuned for part three.
1:06:16
[SPEAKER_02]: That's coming out next week on the bomb life podcast.
1:06:19
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, everyone.
1:06:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay safe.
1:06:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay healthy until next time.
1:06:23
[SPEAKER_02]: The bottom-like podcast is for information on an entertainment purposes element.
1:06:25
[SPEAKER_02]: The content shared here is not intended as medical, legal, or professional advice.
1:06:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Always keep out with a profile for professionals who are making any health fitness, financial, or legal decisions.
1:06:33
[SPEAKER_02]: The opinions shared on this podcast are personal, experiences, and insights.
1:06:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you need expert guidance, go find the right professional for you.
1:06:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks for listening.