Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 31st, 2026: Standing On One Leg, NASA and Job Updates

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March 31st, 2026: Standing On One Leg, NASA and Job Updates · The Daily Sarcast

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  Today's episode is brought to you by Crying on Netflix in a Chipmunk costume.
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  It's probably one of my favorite fun facts about myself.
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  I went the other way. I just never went in the shave room. What a name.
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  And the sounds that came out of it, I'll never unhear.
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  Ryan Gosling on the Barbie movie about the shave room.
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  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
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  I'm Lindsay Vernick and today is March 31st, 2026.
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  In real news nasa might send astronauts to the moon this week for the first time since 1972,
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  and no they're not even landing on the moon they're just circling it because
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  apparently we're easing into the moon like it's a group chat we're not ready to respond to,
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  the mission is four astronauts over 10 days and a giant rocket and a spacecraft
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  that is for the first time being tested with actual people inside. So like, no pressure.
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  They're going to fly around the moon in a figure eight and get about 4,000 miles
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  from the surface of the moon and briefly lose contact with Earth when they go behind it.
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  Which is a fun feature NASA calls deep space. The rest of us call that terrifying.
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  The reason they're not landing yet on the moon is simple. The landing system isn't ready.
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  That's being built by SpaceX and Blue Origin, two companies that thrive on timelines
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  that are more of a suggestion than a schedule.
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  The mission is basically a stress test for the whole system.
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  Like, does the rocket work?
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  Do we think we can possibly land on the moon? And most importantly, can the people survive?
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  If this all goes well, it's a step toward a future moon base.
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  And if it doesn't, it's a very expensive way to say, we tried our best.
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  And to be fair, this is very historic.
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  It's the first woman, first person of color, and first non-American going this far into space.
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  So progress is happening just 4,000 miles above where we actually need it to be.
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  The whole program has cost about $93 billion so far.
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  And we're aiming for a moon landing by 2028 or
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  2030 or whenever the money the hardware and
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  the weather all decide to align which is honestly asking for a lot speaking
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  of which the biggest threat to launch right now isn't just technical issues
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  it's the weather in florida always just leave it to florida to ruin everything
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  so yeah long story short nasa is officially going back to the moon.
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  So there's this new article saying if you can't balance on one leg for 10 seconds,
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  it might be a sign of something.
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  Love that for us. Apparently, if you can't stand on 10 seconds on one leg,
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  doctors are like, you might have a fall risk, muscle weakness,
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  nerve issues, vitamin deficiencies.
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  Basically, it's a full diagnostic of what's going on with your body and why
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  is it like this. And let's be honest, the test is very humbling.
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  Because everyone thinks they're fine until they try it. and
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  you're probably thinking right now I do Pilates I do
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  yoga I have core strength or just like obviously I
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  can stand on one leg okay now try it right now as you're
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  listening to this when you try to lift one foot suddenly you turn into a tree
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  in a wind tunnel just try it for 10 seconds if you can do it for anything under
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  that doctors are like okay that's interesting we should talk and if you can
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  only do it for under five seconds that is not a balance issue that means something else is very wrong.
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  I don't know what, but it is.
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  But here's the part that actually matters. This isn't just some random party trick.
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  Balance is a big deal for preventing falls, especially as you get older.
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  And falls, as you know, are not cute as you continue to age.
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  They lead to real injuries, hospital visits, lifestyle changes,
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  the kind of thing that makes you go, wow, I wish I had practiced standing on
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  one foot while I brush my teeth. Which, by the way, is the actual advice here.
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  Doctors are like, you can improve your health by standing awkwardly in your bathroom.
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  So now your daily routine is brush your teeth, lift one foot while questioning
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  all of your life choices and try not to fall into the toilet.
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  And if you want to level up, you can add little weights or do bicep curls while balancing.
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  So the real takeaway is this. Your body doesn't usually send dramatic alerts first.
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  It sends subtle ones like, hey, like your balance is a little off or maybe strengthen
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  your legs or maybe stop acting like you're invincible.
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  And us being humans are just like, I'll deal with it later.
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  So if you try and you wobble a little, totally normal. And if you can hold it
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  for 10 seconds, congrats.
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  You're a healthy adult. And if you can't, well, I don't know what to tell you.
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  You should probably fix it.
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  Taylor Swift just got sued over the album title, The Life of a Showgirl.
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  Apparently, this lawsuit was big enough to trigger a federal lawsuit because
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  the showgirl in Vegas said, Excuse me, I had showgirl first.
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  The plaintiff, Maren Wade, has been using confessions of a showgirl since 2014.
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  That's a pretty long time, right? And she's built a whole brand around it,
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  with writing and a podcast and live shows in Vegas, all this stuff.
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  Her claim is that Taylor's title is so similar to hers that it's confusing people.
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  Because apparently the average person is out here like, wait,
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  is this the girl with 13 Grammys or the one with the show in Vegas at 11 p.m.? I mean, be serious.
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  This is basically a girl just saying, help, my little niece showgirl Empire
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  is being just like steamrolled by the biggest pop star in the world.
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  And here's the kicker with it. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office already
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  looked at the name and said, Yeah, these are similar enough to confuse people.
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  Apparently, the office thinks that people might mix up a global pop phenomenon
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  with just like a random Vegas showgirl.
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  Respectfully, no one is doing that.
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  Taylor Swift has over 170 trademarks. She's like a dragon guarding a cave full of legal firepower.
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  This could all go to court or Taylor's team could just buy out her brand name.
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  And what I find most confusing in this
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  whole thing is that this girl has so many videos on
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  instagram using taylor's music talking about
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  how much she loves her and now she's going to sue her that's
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  like my ex filing a restraining order against me to try to get me to talk to
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  him I don't think that's going to help in Lindsay life I officially half quit
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  the spa no more crazy upper east side moms rescheduling massages between their
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  tennis lessons and trying to pretend to sell people $200 hairbrushes.
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  I got a job as a producer and I'm moving back in with my parents during the
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  work week because nothing says moving forward like moving back in with your parents.
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  But I'm back producing and that's a win.
• 6:38
  Lindsay Lessons, a lesson by Linz. Telling a guy that you cried on Netflix isn't exactly a flex.
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  Cooking tip of the day.
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  Avocado is and was never supposed to be in a chicken parm.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date?
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  Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
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  Talk to you guys tomorrow.