Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 180. 🧸 All She Wants for Christmas Is PLAY: Healing the Inner Child

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180. 🧸 All She Wants for Christmas Is PLAY: Healing the Inner Child · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apoge production.
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  Speaker 2: She Rises Twelve Days of Christmas.
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  Speaker 1: Jingle Bell, jingle Bells, jingle Bell Rock, jingle Bell. I
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  Speaker 1: don't know the rest of the world.
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  Speaker 2: I was trying to find the bit where it off.
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  Speaker 1: Mingo, Yeah, mingo.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome back, guy, Welcome back. Today is day ten of
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  Speaker 2: twelve Days of Christmas. If you haven't listened, go back
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  Speaker 2: and listen through all of the other episodes. This is
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  Speaker 2: a series, a Christmas edition series.
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  Speaker 1: Glow Up Theories absolutely.
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  Speaker 2: Designed for you to glow up through Christmas and right
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  Speaker 2: before Christmas, because we really want to have hard hitting
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  Speaker 2: conversations that really encourage you to look at the things
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  Speaker 2: that you may not be looking at or avoiding this Christmas.
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  Speaker 2: And the reason being is because we want to help
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  Speaker 2: elevate you into your most authentic self. And sometimes it
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  Speaker 2: means having hard conversations, it means being triggered, it means
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  Speaker 2: looking at things that don't feel so good. But we're
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  Speaker 2: going to do it dressed in cute Christmas pajamas with
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  Speaker 2: tinsel around our microphones. So and we're going to get started.
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  Speaker 1: And it's also about having fun. Life does not to
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  Speaker 1: have to be so damn serious. Today's topic is or
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  Speaker 1: today's title, sorry is all she wants for Christmas is
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  Speaker 1: play healing the inner child. Honestly, we speak a lot
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  Speaker 1: about in a child healing, especially in our subscription as well.
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  Speaker 1: We do a whole month on it because it is
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  Speaker 1: so important to be able to connect with that younger
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  Speaker 1: version of yourself that wants to come out. Somewhere along
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  Speaker 1: the way, we were told that we have to be serious,
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  Speaker 1: we can't be playful anymore, and to be quiet and
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  Speaker 1: you're too much or too big. But Christmas Day, I
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  Speaker 1: feel like it's such a beautiful day to let that
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  Speaker 1: in a child be free, let her come out, let
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  Speaker 1: her express. I know, I get so silly because even
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  Speaker 1: you know, when you all sit around as a family
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  Speaker 1: and all the presents to give out, I like to
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  Speaker 1: be the Santa and Santa had on and give all
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  Speaker 1: the presents out. Although Taje is taken over now, but
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  Speaker 1: it is a really beautiful time where you can just
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  Speaker 1: be silly and play and bring that all back and
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  Speaker 1: your kids love it. You encourage the other adults to
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  Speaker 1: just like let their hair down, because day to day
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  Speaker 1: we are so serious. We're working, we're on schedules, we're
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  Speaker 1: looking after kids and it's just like go, go go,
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  Speaker 1: Like where did the fun go?
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  Speaker 2: It's to be a fun day, absolutely, And you know
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  Speaker 2: what we kind of is like a lead up of
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  Speaker 2: everyday life before Christmas. Yes, you know, as you become
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  Speaker 2: an adult and you become more responsible you have children,
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  Speaker 2: or you have businesses, or you have people that you
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  Speaker 2: have to take care of and look after, life becomes serious,
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  Speaker 2: Like it becomes like this sometimes can be this really
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  Speaker 2: dull day to day thing that you experience. It's like
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  Speaker 2: where's all the color gone in my life? Because we
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  Speaker 2: have serious things happen to us. We experience pain, we
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  Speaker 2: experience grief, we experience things that you know, really bring
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  Speaker 2: us down and then we're like, oh my god, where
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  Speaker 2: did all the color in my cheeks go? Christmas for
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  Speaker 2: me is such a good reminder to bring that liveliness
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  Speaker 2: back out.
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  Speaker 1: Joy.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, the fun. I feel like I get so excited
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  Speaker 2: like a little kid when Christmas comes around. The Christmas
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  Speaker 2: carols are playing in the streets.
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  Speaker 1: Or not on the streets, happier and excited in the shops.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, all the decorations and like thinking about how to
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  Speaker 2: decorate the house if that's possible, and like just the
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  Speaker 2: whole part of like sitting and watching The Grinch or
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  Speaker 2: lall like movies like that. I'm like, oh my gosh,
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  Speaker 2: I used to watch this when I was like five,
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  Speaker 2: and it was the best experience. And I think Christmas
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  Speaker 2: can be a really beautiful reminder for us that we
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  Speaker 2: don't have to take life so seriously and that we
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  Speaker 2: have an opportunity to bring this amount of play into
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  Speaker 2: everyday life, not just Christmas Day, not just Christmas Day.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but Christmas Day is a great way to start. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 1: you found that you've been so serious lately, then like
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  Speaker 1: get into the Christmas spirit because it definitely brings out
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  Speaker 1: that in a child. Absolutely she wants to have fun.
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  Speaker 1: She wants to unleash, she wants to be silly and playful.
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  Speaker 2: And think about like this, like when we're like quote
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  Speaker 2: unquote serious. I know when I have been in the past,
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  Speaker 2: I took myself so seriously. I was like, people won't
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  Speaker 2: take me seriously if I'm not professional enough or if
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  Speaker 2: i'm too that this has actually come up for me
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  Speaker 2: a lot. If I'm too childish, people will see me
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  Speaker 2: as childish. And it's been a big thing that I've
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  Speaker 2: had to be okay with because I'm a very playful
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  Speaker 2: person and I like being silly, and I feel very
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  Speaker 2: like childlike when I'm with my people who I'm super
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  Speaker 2: safe with. But in everyday life, have I always felt
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  Speaker 2: like that? No, I haven't felt like it's been as
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  Speaker 2: socially acceptable to be more childlike. Why would somebody take
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  Speaker 2: me seriously? But something that I read recently and I
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  Speaker 2: said this to Ash the other day, is like, I
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  Speaker 2: want to do life with people that I take seriously,
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  Speaker 2: but I want to be childlike with them. Yes, And
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  Speaker 2: it is just like a really beautiful way to remind
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  Speaker 2: yourself that just because you're an adult doesn't mean that
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  Speaker 2: inner child of yours is gone no way.
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  Speaker 1: And the people that you can be most playful with
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  Speaker 1: and that inner child comes out, they are your people
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  Speaker 1: because that's your true self. Yeah, that little girl, that
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  Speaker 1: little boy inside you, they're always there. I don't even
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  Speaker 1: like your intimate relationship. The more playful and silly I am,
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  Speaker 1: the happy we are absolutely look connected to, the more
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  Speaker 1: that we're laughing, the more that we're intimate, the more
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  Speaker 1: we're playing. Like, if work's always so serious, you want
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  Speaker 1: your relationship being serious either, And then your kids feel
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  Speaker 1: all that bring more joy in. It just feels.
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  Speaker 2: Heavy to die when you're like, I've got to be
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  Speaker 2: so serious Sally all the time. I don't want to
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  Speaker 2: be serious.
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  Speaker 1: Sally all the time. I want to be silly Sally.
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  Speaker 1: Silly Sally. That's good, Yeah I do. And just knowing
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  Speaker 1: that your inner child doesn't want more doing, fixing or spending.
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  Speaker 1: She wants more joy, connection and magic. That's your younger self,
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  Speaker 1: that's your teenage self, and that is most definitely adult self.
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  Speaker 1: If you think about what you want for Christmas, it's
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  Speaker 1: not all the gifts. I mean, gifts are great, but
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  Speaker 1: you want more connection. Yeah, you want more play. You
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  Speaker 1: want to feel alive, not dead inside doing the same
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  Speaker 1: old thing every single day. And Christmas Day is just
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  Speaker 1: the best day to bring that all back.
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  Speaker 2: So true what you just said, like feeling dead inside,
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  Speaker 2: It's like what I was saying before about like the
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  Speaker 2: lack of color in your life. Yes, it's like why
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  Speaker 2: do we get to that point? Why do we allow
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  Speaker 2: ourselves to get to that point where we feel like
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  Speaker 2: nothing feels fun anymore. Iout doing anything for myself anymore,
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  Speaker 2: or like maybe you get into a bit of a habit.
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  Speaker 2: Where as women naturally with natural nurturers. So we want
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  Speaker 2: to put everyone first. We want to give everyone to
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  Speaker 2: make sure everyone else's needs are taken care of, especially
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  Speaker 2: as parents, I imagine, and then it's like, oh, well,
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  Speaker 2: my needs kind of get pushed to the back burner.
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  Speaker 2: But it's like, well, no, your needs are just as important.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, so I'd.
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  Speaker 2: Be curious, and I challenge you today to get curious
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  Speaker 2: of like when you started to become so serious in.
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  Speaker 1: Life, Yeah, what happened? What?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? What happened? What did you go through? Did you
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  Speaker 2: go through heartbreak? Did you go through grief? And then
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  Speaker 2: all of a sudden you just weren't the same version
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  Speaker 2: of yourself anymore? And then okay, cool, Like we can
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  Speaker 2: recognize that, but what are we going to do about it?
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  Speaker 2: How are we going to bring color and play back
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  Speaker 2: into your life? And it might just start with something
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  Speaker 2: as simple as you know, I don't know, like lego
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  Speaker 2: or something like that, or you know, one of my clients,
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  Speaker 2: her and her daughter, they do like those paint by
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  Speaker 2: numbers together and for her that's a real way for
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  Speaker 2: her to like one let her in a child out,
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  Speaker 2: spend quality time with her daughter, and also play She's
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  Speaker 2: like it pulls me out of all my workshit and
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  Speaker 2: all my seriousness and I get to just be silly
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  Speaker 2: and paint like a little girl again.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. And we always say like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: I wish, you know, I wish I was having more fun.
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  Speaker 1: I wish my friends were more fun, or I wish
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  Speaker 1: my family weren't so grinchy. It starts with you, Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: lead the way, show them how hold that torch, get
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  Speaker 1: in the silly costume, bring the fun games, bring the
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  Speaker 1: little Christmas boxes out the night before, and like set
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  Speaker 1: up your own traditions. We spoke about this in a
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  Speaker 1: previous episode, but I didn't have that growing up. Now
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  Speaker 1: I've created my own. Even the other day when the
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  Speaker 1: two Dollars Store, we saw the Christmas eight box, Like
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  Speaker 1: that's so fun of boss arts and crafts and that's
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  Speaker 1: put a candy cane, different things, and then give them
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  Speaker 1: to my kids the night before, and there's like activities
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  Speaker 1: for us to do the night before, so far, so
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  Speaker 1: fun before they go to bed, and it doesn't have
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  Speaker 1: to just be Christmas Day, and it's like extending out
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  Speaker 1: all this joy and fun and surprises and traditions because
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  Speaker 1: it's so fun for them, for the kids and for us.
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  Speaker 2: And this time of like letting you in a child play.
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  Speaker 2: It is about creativity, Yeah, it really is.
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  Speaker 1: How can you get creative.
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  Speaker 2: With inviting people into more connection, inviting into new traditions,
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  Speaker 2: inviting into allowing yourself to live outside of the box
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  Speaker 2: that you live in, Like twelve months and the year
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  Speaker 2: other than there's one day or this one month of
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  Speaker 2: the year where you actually get to let loose and
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  Speaker 2: have fun. And I don't mean drink. No, I don't
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  Speaker 2: mean drink. I don't mean get shit faced and all
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  Speaker 2: the things, because that's not fun the look because life
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  Speaker 2: has been heavy and serious. I'm like, how can you
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  Speaker 2: invite fun into your life in other ways?
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  Speaker 1: Too healthy way and not an outway.
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  Speaker 2: This is also a conversation like not to focus too
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  Speaker 2: much on drinking, but when you stop drinking, and maybe
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  Speaker 2: this silly season is a test for you as well.
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  Speaker 2: If you're stopping drinking, how can you invite play fun
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  Speaker 2: into your life without needing to go to a bar?
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  Speaker 1: How can you be drunk on life? Yes, that's one
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  Speaker 1: of my old coaches said to Steve years ago. It's
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  Speaker 1: like that feeling that you get when you're drunk. What
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  Speaker 1: is it? And it was like freedom, connection, lightness, I
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  Speaker 1: can just be myself. And it's like, how do you
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  Speaker 1: get drunk in life without drinking? Then oh, how can
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  Speaker 1: you be all of yourself? How can you get that
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  Speaker 1: same experience? And you can? It's so good, Like we're
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  Speaker 1: evidence of it. And I've never been a huge drinker,
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  Speaker 1: but I know you've felt that as well. That like
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  Speaker 1: all the things that you're craving, the real connection, the fun,
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  Speaker 1: the play, like you can have that sober, put yourself
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  Speaker 1: in the right environment with the right people, and just
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  Speaker 1: being your authentic self. Oh my god.
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  Speaker 2: If people saw us together offah, they think we're drunk,
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  Speaker 2: they would think we're drunk, laughing, cackling till we nearly pee,
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  Speaker 2: like the things that we say, like as if we're drunk.
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  Speaker 2: It's just so fun. But also because we know we're
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  Speaker 2: never going to get canceled with each other.
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  Speaker 1: We are very rogue, of very rogue. But that's the
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  Speaker 1: fun of it.
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  Speaker 2: I feel like within our dynamic out in a child's
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  Speaker 2: place together they do like, oh, best time, Bessie. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it doesn't matter what age and anything have you said?
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  Speaker 2: And it's like, ah, yeah, nicol Me too.
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  Speaker 1: Same.
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  Speaker 2: Christmas can really be a time about being about everyone else,
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  Speaker 2: and that's a beautiful thing, of course, But what if
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  Speaker 2: Christmas this year gets to be a little selfish about you?
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  Speaker 1: What about you? What do you want?
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  Speaker 2: Yes? Absolutely, like getting clear and asking yourself these questions
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  Speaker 2: is really important questions how do you want this Christmas
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  Speaker 2: period to be? What would you like to be doing?
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  Speaker 2: Is there certain things that you're really craving more of
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  Speaker 2: that you would like to go do, even if it's
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  Speaker 2: solo or if it's with friends, or is it down
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: time without your phone at the beach for a whole
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  Speaker 2: day and take snacks and take music and floaties? Like
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  Speaker 2: what is it that you actually want to do? And like,
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  Speaker 2: how can you give yourself this opportunity of this Christmas
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  Speaker 2: break to give yourself permission to really experience more life?
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  Speaker 2: That's cool because that's what I believe being your inner
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  Speaker 2: child is about. It's experience.
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  Speaker 1: It's exploring, isn't it.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, it's explan curiosity, curiosity, explore, go have fun.
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  Speaker 1: Not be so scared of the unknown. Absolutely, it's not scared.
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  Speaker 1: They want to explore everything. They're asking a million questions.
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  Speaker 1: You go here, can I jump from there? Can I
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  Speaker 1: do this? They just go for it.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're not fear they're not scared of climbing that
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  Speaker 2: ladder to the trampoline.
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  Speaker 1: They're not thinking of all the worst case scenarios. They're
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  Speaker 1: so present in the moment as to what feels right
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  Speaker 1: in that moment and what's fun in that moment, to
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  Speaker 1: the point, more of.
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  Speaker 2: That, absolutely, more of that, more so good.
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  Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us, guys. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye bye.