Latest / Questionable Detour / Collecting crippled people, showering with your laptop, and fighting a demon

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Collecting crippled people, showering with your laptop, and fighting a demon · Questionable Detour

0:00
Excuse me, what is going on here?
0:04
But first we're going to make a little detour.
0:09
So absurd, so questionable.
0:12
I guess we're just the weirdos.
0:15
Expect the detour.
0:25
It's bright outside.
0:27
It's bright and we're not used to working in the daylight.
0:31
I personally personally like to scamper around like a nocturnal rodent,
0:36
making women stand up on chairs and go, you know how women scream.
0:40
Just like that.
0:41
Very similar. Yeah, you know how women scream.
0:44
You make women scream all the time.
0:46
Well, it's a weird way to say that,
0:49
but I do prefer it when you all like slink into my house.
0:51
Yeah, like at night, like under the cover of darkness,
0:54
as opposed to just kind of strutting up to my house where everybody can see you.
0:58
We look too happy in the daylight.
1:00
Like you look like just out of place.
1:02
It looks too much. You can see me.
1:04
I don't want you to see me.
1:05
Feels like we're having a nice clandestine meeting at night, sneaking around.
1:10
Like we've got something to hide from others.
1:12
Now we're just doing it in broad daylight.
1:15
I don't like it. I don't like looking at the sun.
1:18
I didn't realize the sun had a face on it like like the teletubbies.
1:21
Yeah, it just is a baby up there.
1:23
Doesn't ever age either. It doesn't.
1:25
Still a baby.
1:28
I was under the impression it was an old man with a Fu Manchu
1:31
just kind of staring down on us like a wise. That's your son.
1:33
Yeah, that's everybody has their type of son.
1:36
You see what you want to see when you look up at it.
1:38
I think mine is a Wilford Brimley from the diabetes commercials.
1:43
Diabetes diabetes just over and over again.
1:46
Yeah, yeah. Your life is hell.
1:48
Almost like people with diabetes.
1:51
You know, I realize that we call people Saturday workers.
1:58
But today we're actually doing it on Saturday.
2:01
And I don't want to disappoint people.
2:03
You know, I think a lot of people might think that we record on Saturdays
2:06
because of, you know, what we call everybody.
2:09
We haven't worked on a Saturday in forever.
2:11
In almost a year. In almost a year.
2:13
I mean, this is the first Saturday we recorded on in forever.
2:16
And that's because Saturday is our Sabbath day is what we. Yeah.
2:19
Yeah, it's our day of rest. Yeah.
2:21
Because you are dressed in a nun outfit right now
2:26
for your Sabbath day. Yeah, yeah.
2:28
We work to the bone every other day of the week.
2:31
We look very pious.
2:35
Head down. Yeah.
2:37
It's a day of rest and relaxation.
2:40
And there's a lot of nuns.
2:43
Yeah, a lot of crying.
2:44
You just you change your house into like a monastery every Saturday.
2:48
I usually go completely silent on Saturdays, too.
2:50
So I had to break that for this.
2:52
With as many nuns as we have walking around this house right now,
2:54
you would have thought Evan would have assumed the role as like the priest
2:57
or the pope in this scenario, but he went right to none.
3:00
No, he wanted to wear the dress and the headset.
3:03
Well, it just like conceals you, you know, what's better than a lot of concealment?
3:07
I just don't want people to see me.
3:09
The nun outfit looks very weird with the facial hair.
3:14
The good thing about being a nun is, yes,
3:16
I did take a vow of silence only on Saturdays,
3:20
but I did get the little like fine print at the bottom of my little vow
3:24
of silence contract from the house of silence contracts that says
3:28
you can break that for questionable detour.
3:31
Oh, that's really good.
3:32
They thank God to the Catholic Church for accommodating your schedule.
3:37
That's why I didn't say a word until we got the mics up.
3:41
And once we hit stop on this recording, you're going back.
3:43
Yeah, yeah.
3:44
Well, that's just how it is. That's that's good.
3:47
You're going to go back to singing like very slow chance.
3:51
It's a hum. It's not a singing a maximum of four notes.
3:57
Five notes is the devil note.
3:58
Like, you don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. Four notes.
4:00
And that's it.
4:01
Well, the devil starts to creep in once you get above four.
4:04
And it's like he like God made like four good things.
4:08
And then the rest is just, you know,
4:12
so that's just something we got to keep in check.
4:15
You know, as a man, I can't dispute that you you are a woman man of God.
4:21
It's good you took the right to celibacy on Saturday.
4:26
All that to say, I don't like the sun.
4:29
It's early. It's early. Man, it's early.
4:31
Like I woke up about the same time I go into work.
4:34
Well, I'll say it this way just to make it sound better for us.
4:38
We're here at like six a.m. Pacific time.
4:41
That's right. And just working.
4:42
And I like manipulating time zones to make us sound better.
4:47
Yeah, exactly.
4:48
Don't listen too closely to how we sound because we don't give off that Pacific
4:52
time vibe. Yeah.
4:54
You think our southern accents give it away?
4:56
I think I think it might.
4:58
I like say that. I like going.
4:59
Yeah, I woke up at six a.m. Pacific time.
5:02
We live on the East Side.
5:05
We're central time, but we live on Pacific time.
5:08
We go about Pacific time.
5:10
We dress like surfers, you know, pukashell necklaces.
5:14
Evan is dressed as a nun surfer.
5:16
Yeah, a surfer nun.
5:18
It's like it's like how you get like you remember in the late 90s, early 2000s,
5:23
they had a Batman action figure for like everything like Ice Batman or Water Batman.
5:28
This is like surfer nun.
5:30
Surfer nun sounds like a really bad Disney channel movie.
5:33
They're saving souls and shredding waves.
5:36
Yeah. That'll be my catchphrase.
5:39
Walking on water is right there.
5:41
Oh, man. That's what it would be called.
5:44
Yeah. That would be the punchline.
5:45
Yeah, that'd be good.
5:46
Yeah. Sounds like a bad Disney movie.
5:48
It does.
5:49
Mitchell Musa would be in that one, though.
5:51
I would say. What's that guy up to these days?
5:53
I don't think he's really doing anything.
5:55
Do you think we could get him on the show?
5:58
I'm sure his career falling off so much.
6:01
Where's the Moose at?
6:03
And can we is he in a bad enough place to where he could come on the program?
6:06
Yeah, it looks like he's just doing voice acting for Phineas and Ferb.
6:09
The point is, we're halfway there.
6:10
We're speaking into microphones.
6:12
All we need is somebody to just pay us for it.
6:14
Yeah, which is what we've been begging for this whole time.
6:17
Somebody give us money.
6:18
So, Mitchell, if you've got any additional voices you need help with at Phineas and Ferb,
6:22
just give us a call.
6:23
Email us.
6:24
Questionable Detour at Gmail Podcast.
6:27
Wait, what is what is that?
6:28
What is our email?
6:29
Detour podcast at Gmail dot com.
6:32
There it is.
6:32
But if you do need additional voices,
6:35
additional voices, make sure they're like close to like a southern guy or like a generic male
6:41
because we don't have a lot of different voices or maybe like a Russian Santa Claus.
6:47
We have that voice.
6:48
Yeah.
6:49
Maybe you're Italian.
6:50
No, I will say our best voice is my Italian.
6:52
Yeah, OK.
6:53
The closest to a traditional accent.
6:56
We have a lot to offer.
6:57
And I think Phineas and Ferb, you know, they're probably in that stretch of their
7:01
their run where they're thinking about adding something new in.
7:04
They got to spend almost like, what, 15 years?
7:06
You know, they've been on the air.
7:07
They need something.
7:08
Need something fresh.
7:09
What's more fresh and new than just a normal sounding guy?
7:13
Generic white male, recurring generic white male.
7:18
But welcome to Questionable Detour.
7:20
Let's do some hypotheticals.
7:21
Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?
7:26
I guess I want to apologize for asking a hypothetical question.
7:29
Well, that's a hypothetical question.
7:32
I realize that people think we are well prepared here.
7:35
We are a well choreographed show.
7:38
We know exactly what we're doing when we enter into the studio.
7:42
And I would hate to break it to y'all.
7:44
We just came up with a hypothetical now.
7:46
This is the hypothetical question right this second.
7:49
I think this is the first time ever that we've waited till the last minute to do anything.
7:54
This is not like us at all.
7:57
Preparation is our middle name, collectively.
7:59
The hypothetical was the one thing we knew going in that we had preplanned.
8:03
And we didn't even do that this time.
8:06
But the hypothetical today, with it being morning during this recording,
8:10
what do y'all do as a morning routine when that rooster crows,
8:15
which I assume y'all live on a farm.
8:18
What do y'all do when that rooster crows and the sun is peering through the window?
8:23
What do y'all do to when y'all wake up?
8:25
Well, you know, when you first wake up,
8:27
that's when you're kind of first getting going in the morning.
8:32
But you're breaking out of your slumber where all those wonderful,
8:36
mysterious dreams you just had were.
8:39
All those wonderful, mysterious dreams.
8:41
Or terrible for you.
8:42
I'm sure you have debilitating nightmares knowing you as a person.
8:47
But you want to get those ideas down.
8:49
You want to be able to remember those because have you ever had a dream that you loved?
8:52
And then like an hour later or like five minutes later after you wake up,
8:55
you're like, I have that little inkling of that dream, but I can't remember what it was.
8:59
Why don't I imagine Evan wakes up like a Disney princess?
9:05
He didn't ever touch the ground.
9:06
Just kind of floats out of bed.
9:07
I have sparrows come drag me out.
9:08
It just kind of slowly moves his head and just kind of smile.
9:12
Humming a song of some sort.
9:15
Yeah, it's just kind of the light has sparkles in it as it comes through the window.
9:19
It is similar to that.
9:20
But a lot of dresses.
9:21
I do a lot of nightgowns.
9:23
Between the nun outfit and a princess dress.
9:26
But once the bluebirds set me down in front of my desk, I get to work.
9:33
It's a lot of them.
9:35
He didn't say how many there were.
9:37
It's like two per square inch, basically.
9:41
You look like like a biblical angel.
9:44
So many wings and eyes covering your body.
9:48
But they set me down in front of that desk and I get to squirreling my dreams away.
9:52
And the thing about me is I have one recurring dream.
9:54
So this is basically a novella where I'm just continuing this dream
9:59
and just writing as I advance in the dream.
10:01
But this entire dream is just about a blacksmith that manufactures wrought iron bars.
10:05
That's your wonderful, beautiful dream.
10:09
You really, you really amped that up.
10:10
I thought it was going to be better.
10:14
You ever just been in the third person looking over the shoulder of just a burly blacksmith
10:20
hammering away at just a wrought iron bar, just some railing, just some iron,
10:25
some railing that's going to hold up somebody as they walk down some stairs, maybe
10:30
keep out some vermin just from a yard, just somebody just doing the old school,
10:35
what I like to call magic, which is fabricating metal metal fabrication.
10:40
If your dream is you just watching a big, sweaty, burly man and you wake up all innocent and
10:50
just like, that's your dream.
10:53
Isn't it wonderful?
10:56
Answer me this.
10:57
You say that the art of smithing, blacksmithing is like magic.
11:03
Do you think that any blacksmiths have ever been
11:06
tried and convicted and burned at the stake for witchcraft?
11:09
I'm sure some blacksmiths have, but not the occupation.
11:22
Yeah, I guess, I guess we need to distinguish it is a man that works with metal and not an
11:27
African American man named Smith.
11:29
Correct.
11:29
You don't dream of anybody African American.
11:32
Your dreams are all white.
11:36
I don't know how to answer that one.
11:38
It's no good way to answer.
11:40
Evans lawyers over at the corner.
11:42
No, don't, don't, don't, don't repeat.
11:46
Why is this the recurring dream for you?
11:48
What other narrative is continuing each night with this?
11:53
I'm watching him for eight hours, just Smith at sword.
11:57
Yeah, because the thing is, I think it's the same thing.
12:00
Yeah, because the thing about blacksmithing, especially in the 17, 18, 1600s, they always
12:08
had, you know, you didn't do that numerically.
12:10
I think it bugs me a little bit.
12:12
17, 18, 1600s.
12:16
Why did you go for it about back?
12:17
Well, that's how you're supposed to count.
12:21
I was taught to count two, three, one.
12:23
Time is fluid.
12:25
It's all relative.
12:26
It's like where you are in my head is where time really is.
12:29
Where time is OK. So anyway, the thing about blacksmithing
12:32
in that time is they always had work to do.
12:34
They always had more orders.
12:35
So yet last night he was just creating some wrought iron bars.
12:41
He's not a very good blacksmith.
12:42
He must be an apprentice.
12:44
Well, that was last night.
12:45
The night before that, he was working on the sword.
12:48
But then he had an order of nine wrought iron bars because somebody is trying to
12:52
encapsulate their yard.
12:53
Is he specific and like, is he specialized in wrought iron?
12:56
That is his best one.
12:57
What town does he live in that needs so many wrought iron bars?
13:00
He needs to venture out.
13:03
I feel like he's a one trick pony.
13:04
I like to imagine that somebody ordered the sword,
13:08
but he he just put a wrought iron bar onto a hill.
13:12
He just sharpened the end of the wrought iron bar.
13:15
He only does wrought iron bars.
13:17
He does one thing.
13:20
What's the Smith's name in your dream?
13:22
Greg.
13:23
Oh, that's not even a sexy name.
13:25
Listen, he's a hardworking man.
13:27
He just there's nothing more sexy than a man just consistently working as hard as he can.
13:33
Does Greg's wife know that you're dreaming about him?
13:36
Does Greg ever leave the blacksmithing shop?
13:39
Whatever you call it.
13:40
I've only ever seen the blacksmithing shop.
13:43
Does he go home?
13:45
The kiln?
13:45
Does he ever leave the kiln?
13:48
He sweats day in and day out.
13:49
So he's a slave.
13:51
Well, he's a working man.
13:53
Consistent.
13:54
Not getting paid and can't leave.
13:55
I don't know if he's getting paid.
13:56
I'm sure he's getting paid.
13:57
People are putting orders in.
13:59
Evan built a mental wrought iron bar around Greg and is keeping him there in his dream.
14:06
Once again, I've never seen him leave the shop,
14:08
so I don't know what happens outside of there.
14:10
I don't know when people hand him money.
14:13
I just know that he works and then I wake up and then I go back to sleep and he's still working.
14:18
It sounds like it sounds like he's not getting paid.
14:20
That or he just works the night shift.
14:21
I wonder if somebody else.
14:22
Do you think dreams continue outside of you sleeping?
14:26
Well, yeah, I mean, like time is still there.
14:28
Time's still a thing.
14:30
Whatever time I would go to bed, time is still the same for him.
14:32
Evan thinks dreams are just like a reality you pass into.
14:36
He thinks it's a different time zone.
14:39
Just waking up into a window.
14:41
Like the people in China, like they see Greg go home.
14:45
They see Greg's old life.
14:47
They're like, they're like, why doesn't this guy work?
14:50
They're wondering how he how he has the money to provide for a house and a family.
14:55
They never see where he goes.
14:57
If that's true, then I'm happy for Greg that he has a life outside of wrought iron bars.
15:00
But again, his wrought iron bars second to none.
15:04
You keep on bringing up the wrought iron bar.
15:05
Why do you like wrought iron bars so much?
15:07
You get a dreamt of a blacksmith that Smith's beautiful armor, beautiful weaponry.
15:12
But you you you went to just wrought iron bars.
15:15
Well, the thing about wrought iron bars is their utility is endless.
15:22
Name me something else that has more utility than a wrought iron bar.
15:25
A truck.
15:27
Name me something that you can blacksmith
15:30
that has more utility than a wrought iron bar.
15:34
Maybe like a bowl.
15:35
A bowl?
15:36
Yeah, you can do a lot.
15:37
You think you can keep vermin out with a bowl?
15:41
Maybe.
15:42
What are you going to do?
15:43
You're eating out of that bowl and you might be throwing it at somebody.
15:46
But that's kind of where the use of a bowl stops.
15:48
Carry stuff with it.
15:49
Well, yeah, OK.
15:50
You carry stuff with the wrought iron bars like a like a like a shish kebab.
15:54
Like a palette.
15:56
He's going to carry it around like really balance things on it.
15:59
But you can carry stuff around like some chopsticks.
16:01
Alan, follow me here.
16:03
Do we think this Greg blacksmith is actually in his dream or does heaven
16:08
just have a poor soul trapped in his house?
16:11
That he just goes and watches like a show at night.
16:15
He was mentioning about his crawlspace earlier.
16:18
He was, yeah.
16:19
Before we started recording, I'm wondering if Greg is down there right now.
16:23
And the wrought iron bars are things that he is using to keep Greg in.
16:28
He loves wrought iron bars so much because of the utility
16:32
of keeping somebody against their will.
16:35
Yeah, and I have been mentioning about keeping vermin out,
16:38
but it's also good for keeping vermin in.
16:39
Yeah, you call it great vermin.
16:42
He's a let me just go ahead and say he's a plague on society.
16:48
I had to do it for the better of human race.
16:51
Is it like a sleepwalking thing that you go to bed and you wake up?
16:54
Well, you know, quote unquote, wake up sleepwalking.
16:56
Yeah.
16:57
And you just kind of go down there and just kind of watch him.
16:59
Yeah, that see, the thing is, I've been talking up.
17:02
Greg is like a consistent hard worker, but really it's me who's the consistent hard worker.
17:06
Every night I go to sleep and I get to work
17:08
just watching Greg just down there in my crawl space, just keeping him in.
17:12
You have like a lazy boy down there.
17:14
Greg.
17:14
Oh, right.
17:18
You said he was not even a good blacksmith.
17:22
I'm getting so many mixed signals about Greg here.
17:25
Why did you lead us?
17:28
It's changed.
17:29
It's changed.
17:29
I'm the hardworking man is what I was saying.
17:31
Evan always makes a story about it every time.
17:38
Strange how that happens.
17:40
He's also the people.
17:41
People can't see him right now, but he's putting on a cape right now
17:44
because he thinks he's a hero.
17:47
I have my number one hero badge on now.
17:49
He's still the nun outfit, by the way.
17:51
Yeah, it goes together.
17:54
What is Greg getting out of your quote unquote dream?
17:57
I but now that I say dream like that, I'm sorry to just ask you a question.
18:02
And yeah, don't worry about me.
18:05
I think when he said dream, I think he meant like figuratively like this is
18:09
it's his dream to trap a man in his crawl space.
18:13
So he may have not done it yet.
18:14
It's just something he plans to do.
18:16
It's something he like premeditated kidnapping.
18:19
Right.
18:19
Yeah, it's first degree kidnapping.
18:22
Which is why I've been writing it down, planning it out, creating evidence for police.
18:27
Exactly.
18:27
We're going to say for any of our Greg listeners out there,
18:30
lock your doors.
18:31
Evan's coming for you.
18:32
Oh, you just hate people named Greg.
18:34
Never liked them.
18:37
So this is a random guy named Greg.
18:40
Yeah.
18:41
You were out one day shaking a hand.
18:43
You're like, hey, my name's Evan.
18:44
He's like, hi, my name's Greg.
18:46
And it's like your face just like your eyes went dead.
18:50
My grip got firmer.
18:51
Yeah.
18:52
He started breathing hard.
18:53
You're like, you're going to come home with me.
18:54
Okay, I'm not going to do anything about Greg.
18:57
I don't think there's anything we can do at this point.
18:59
I think.
19:00
Trust me, there's not.
19:01
Yeah.
19:02
The wrought iron bars are firm.
19:05
So Evan gets up and writes about his dream in his journal,
19:10
but it's more of just him planning kidnappings.
19:13
But is it a dream or what exactly is happening in his mind?
19:19
Let's not crack that.
19:21
And we keep saying this is Evan's dream.
19:23
Let's just change that first word.
19:25
Let's call this the American dream.
19:29
The white picket fence, the white picket fence, the house with the crawlspace.
19:32
Yeah.
19:33
And wrought iron bars and a little man named Greg underneath.
19:36
That's the American dream.
19:37
God, that's why people have immigrated here for hundreds of years.
19:42
You notice how in Evan's mind when he was dreaming of Greg, Greg was a burly guy.
19:46
But now that Evan's in charge, Greg's a little man in a crawlspace.
19:49
Like, yeah, it's something psychological.
19:51
We need to we need to unpack that later.
19:57
Man, what happens in the mind of Evan?
20:00
Is it ever really my fault?
20:04
You're bored this way.
20:05
All right, Alan, the rooster crows, the alarm goes off.
20:09
You know, you wake up, your head comes off the pillow.
20:11
What do you do in your morning?
20:12
What's your morning routine?
20:13
First thing I'm going to do, I'm going to get up and I'm going to go take a shower.
20:17
Ah, good.
20:18
But something that I'm really big on is multitasking.
20:21
So everything that I need to do to get ready for the day, I just want to do all at the same place.
20:26
So I'll just have my breakfast in the shower.
20:28
Gross.
20:30
It's not not super gross, just a little gross.
20:36
But, you know, in the night before I'll plan it out, I'll put some eggs, you know, line them across the bathtub.
20:40
You know, OK, leave out some bacon bowl cereal and uncooked bacon.
20:46
Yeah.
20:46
I think the eggs are really stay up on the ledge very well.
20:51
They don't after immediately after I put them there, they just fall off into the bathtub.
20:55
They crack.
20:56
They crack.
20:56
Yeah.
20:57
That's good for scrambled eggs later.
20:59
Yeah.
20:59
Now they do sit there all night long.
21:02
So I don't know how good eight hour old eggs are.
21:08
But yeah, I get in there, I just put some toast in there as well.
21:11
Now it's obviously gets soggy immediately after I turn on the shower.
21:14
Sure.
21:15
Yeah.
21:15
Water is involved.
21:16
I also after I get done eating breakfast, I have to get dressed.
21:19
So I just get dressed in the shower while the water is running.
21:21
Yeah.
21:22
Well, the thing is, like, I don't want to have to I don't want to have to get out and do multiple different things.
21:26
I want to get all of my stuff done in one place.
21:28
You're efficient.
21:29
Efficient.
21:29
Yeah.
21:30
If you're putting your clothes on the shower, that's basically doing your laundry at the same time.
21:33
Exactly.
21:35
That's true.
21:35
That's right.
21:36
Name of the game is multitasking.
21:38
We could learn a lesson from Alan here.
21:40
We could.
21:42
Let's learn.
21:43
I don't know.
21:43
I don't know what the lesson is going to be, but we certainly could learn something.
21:47
Let's get you in front of some impressionable people.
21:52
Let you talk.
21:53
So you get dressed.
21:55
You have some gross, soggy breakfast foods.
21:58
Uncooked bacon.
22:00
Weird one.
22:00
I mean, you can cook in the shower.
22:02
You just you prefer uncooked bacon.
22:04
Well, one of the things that I used to do is I used to take a nice little Bunsen burner
22:08
and set it on the side of the bathtub.
22:10
And I would cook my bacon on said Bunsen burner.
22:13
You have a mistake with that little mishap one time.
22:16
You kind of decide, OK, maybe we don't do that again.
22:19
So is that because you're cooking with open grease over an open flame?
22:25
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:26
And, you know, that thing falls into the bathtub.
22:29
It just it's a it's a bad time altogether.
22:31
Have you tried switching to an electric griddle?
22:33
Now, that might be a game changer.
22:36
Yeah, game changer for sure.
22:38
But the thing is, though, is I only use Bunsen burners.
22:41
Like, I don't even have a I don't even have an oven in my in my home.
22:46
You are very gas.
22:47
We are just strictly strictly the Bunsen for me.
22:51
So it's interesting that you're so worried about getting stuff into the water.
22:56
Is your bathtub clogged up?
22:58
Even though you're taking a shower, the water levels are rising.
23:01
So many eggshells have just gone down that bathtub.
23:04
So much bacon grease there.
23:06
There's there's no way to to get that pipe clean.
23:09
Let me suggest something for you here.
23:11
I'm hearing your plights and I want to suggest a solution for you.
23:14
Install a garbage disposal in your bathtub drain.
23:17
It's a good idea.
23:18
Stop it up again.
23:19
And they're going to honestly be that could be something that we could market,
23:21
I think, just bathtubs that come with garbage disposals.
23:25
You know, the the common man that wants to do everything at the same time.
23:28
The efficiency minded folk.
23:30
The man who can't bother to eat his breakfast at a at a different time
23:35
than when he's showering and getting dressed and preparing himself mentally for the day.
23:39
And drinking a 12 hour old coffee drinking it.
23:42
Yeah, you make the coffee before.
23:44
Well, the coffee is an interesting one because I've got a it's sort of a rigged situation.
23:49
I've got a coffee filter with coffee inside of it strapped to the shower head.
23:53
So the water hits the coffee in the filter,
23:56
drains into a cup that I've got placed on the bathtub floor.
23:59
It's not even hot enough.
24:00
It's not. It's not actually make.
24:03
It's kind of gross lukewarm coffee.
24:05
When they say when coffee haters call it dirt water,
24:08
that's essentially what it what it is.
24:11
So you eat breakfast, questionably nutritious breakfast, and you get dressed.
24:16
You got your slacks on your laceless dress shoes.
24:21
Yeah. Yeah.
24:22
Your button up shirt.
24:24
It's all wet.
24:25
Absolutely soaked.
24:26
Just just drenched in water.
24:29
How do you work?
24:30
Because you need to make an income.
24:31
That's just how life is.
24:33
How do you work in the shower?
24:34
Well, the cool thing about it is, is I can work remote.
24:36
So what I do is I just I bring my laptop in there.
24:39
I've got a somewhat of a opaque garbage bag that I just tie around the laptop.
24:46
So I can't I can't exactly see the screen very clearly.
24:50
Your emails are incoherent.
24:57
Thanks, Alan.
24:59
Yeah. Thankfully, what I do is I keep the signature on my email.
25:02
So they know I don't have to type that out.
25:04
You know, your signature is the fact that the words don't make sense.
25:09
Yeah, it is.
25:11
It is a gamble.
25:12
And as to what I've said to who,
25:17
there is no way to be sure.
25:19
But one thing is for sure is that I'm able to do everything in one spot.
25:24
You're efficient.
25:25
Have they caught on to the amount of times they've had to replace your laptop for water damage?
25:29
Yeah, this is Alan's 17th laptop this month.
25:35
What keeps what keeps happening?
25:38
This man cannot keep a water cup upright.
25:40
Yeah. Yeah.
25:42
I think you spill water on it.
25:43
And honestly, I'm at this point, I'm too afraid to tell them about my
25:47
about my multitasking.
25:48
I just I just keep saying you're a pretty persecuted people.
25:52
I am the efficient.
25:54
Yeah. Yeah.
25:55
They say there are a lot of downtrodden groups.
25:58
Historically, the Israelites, you know, but then also the multitaskers, the efficient ones.
26:05
So you could just tell me you have Parkinson's because it seems like you're ashamed to be an efficient one.
26:11
Yeah, it's like just tell me you have Parkinson's and you can't keep that cup.
26:16
You're the closet.
26:17
Yeah, you're a closeted, efficient one.
26:19
Closeted efficiency.
26:20
You know how like Batman, like Bruce Wayne doesn't tell everybody he's Batman.
26:24
He's he's not afraid to tell everybody.
26:26
It's just his little secret.
26:28
Yeah, sure.
26:29
That's kind of that's kind of me with efficiency.
26:32
You're a vigilante on that laptop, aren't you?
26:34
I certainly am.
26:35
You're on Facebook.
26:37
Just anything I can do to protect this city.
26:42
So the only time you leave the sanctity of a shower is to go to bed.
26:46
Yeah, that's right.
26:47
You don't dry off.
26:48
No, I am.
26:49
I am completely soaked most of the time.
26:52
My hands, my fingers look like prunes.
26:54
Wait a second, wait a second.
26:57
Before we move on from that, you're saying you're in a shower for eight hours a day,
27:01
at least at least eight hours a day.
27:04
Oh, your fingers have to be shriveled up.
27:06
There's no oil left on your skin.
27:09
You walk out of the shower and your skin just dries up.
27:13
Yeah, you look like a corpse by the time you get out of there.
27:16
Yeah, it's not I wouldn't say it's the best look for me.
27:20
But, you know, at the end of the day, that's not what that's not what matters.
27:23
I have to mention the chafing.
27:25
Chafing?
27:26
From the quick clothes.
27:28
Think of the nipples, man.
27:30
The nipples?
27:30
The underarms?
27:32
Oh my gosh.
27:34
The spot on the upper thigh.
27:36
Oh my gosh.
27:37
It's one of those things that as you're describing it, you know, it does sound terrible.
27:42
It does sound borderline unbearable, but it's one of those things that you kind of have to push through
27:48
because you really you want to be better than everybody else that does things separately.
27:52
You know, like they're they're idiots for doing that.
27:54
And you just got to keep in mind you're better than them.
27:58
He's literally doing that to us right now.
28:00
Yeah, he's kind of looking like down on us.
28:02
Yeah.
28:03
Even though we're at the same height, he's kind of like, yeah, tilting his head a little bit.
28:06
Yeah, so I haven't noticed, but I've been I'm slowly standing.
28:11
I don't want me to blow up your spot here.
28:13
And, you know, you can call me a bigot if you want for victimized.
28:17
You want for victimizing your people.
28:19
But you're the only thing you're double tasking is just showering and one other thing.
28:26
You're not multitasking.
28:28
Just one other thing at a time.
28:30
Yeah, you're still eating or working or doing some sort of yard work.
28:36
Dressed showering with how can I do yard work from the shower?
28:41
Tell me you have a long extended pole out to the yard.
28:46
You're just waking really long hope.
28:49
Got a bully system.
28:52
And the water in your shower just happens to be on.
28:55
Yeah, like you're really the only thing you're multitasking is the shower.
28:59
It is true.
29:01
Just sounds like you're agoraphobic, like you don't want to leave your house.
29:03
Not agoraphobic.
29:04
I'm actually Al Gore phobic.
29:08
Not a big Al Gore guy.
29:10
I'm one of the leaders, one of the leaders of that movement.
29:12
In the shower, you have his face up on the wall and you throw darts at it.
29:15
Yeah, not to mention the water bill.
29:17
A lot of credit cards taken.
29:20
I'm in serious debt.
29:23
The city has thought about just coming and unhooking water to my house.
29:27
You've gone through like four water heaters in the last year.
29:31
Well, that's a good question.
29:32
Do you consider yourself an athlete?
29:34
No one has ever looked at me and accused me of being an athlete.
29:38
Okay, I just didn't know if this whole multitasking thing you saw is like a sport.
29:42
Because the chafing, there's a lot of trials
29:45
and tribulations you have to go through to get this done.
29:47
So I didn't know if you were on the level of calling yourself an athlete.
29:50
I wouldn't call myself an athlete.
29:52
I would call myself more of like a thought leader.
29:56
He's the Martin Luther King of the efficient.
30:01
So you had your dream, Martin Luther King, and me, we had a similar dream.
30:06
Everybody's got dreams.
30:08
Yeah, yours is probably the most marginalized.
30:11
So, you know, we support you.
30:16
Thank you.
30:16
We're allies to the efficient.
30:20
I appreciate that.
30:21
And I just I know that if there's if there's anything that you guys
30:25
need me to help with that's doing something in the shower,
30:28
like we need to do paperwork in the shower or something,
30:31
just let me know and I can give you some tips, you know.
30:33
Okay, I might if I just want you to do it, can I just kind of give it to you?
30:36
If I just want a task done that's a little more wet, more power to the
30:42
the marginalized group of efficient people, the aficionates, the aficionates, if you will.
30:48
The aficionados, the aficionados.
30:50
There it is.
30:51
That's a good one.
30:51
More power to the aficionados, you know.
30:53
Thank you.
30:54
We're here to help reach out with your needs.
30:56
You know, like maybe we can set up a way for people to give you money.
31:00
Sort of like a GoFundMe just to keep me going because
31:03
you guys kind of try to get me down today on on my efficient.
31:08
He's already played the victim card.
31:10
Sound like he's crying for a little bit.
31:11
Send me money so that I know that I feel like I need to keep going.
31:16
Nobody encourages us.
31:18
Send me money.
31:20
Okay, well, Alan wakes up by just jumping in the shower and doing everything,
31:25
everything that you might do just with a water,
31:27
with water constantly being drizzled over your head.
31:29
That's what Alan.
31:31
All right, so here's what I do.
31:33
You know, my head comes off the pillow in the morning and I get up and I
31:39
immediately want to be efficient like you.
31:42
But what I have done is I have slowly collected handicap men in wheelchairs
31:48
that are in various places around my house doing different tasks in my house.
31:55
And what I do is I wake up in the morning and I slowly shift one from the other.
32:00
So they're not doing the same thing every day.
32:01
Like one morning, there's a handicap man in a wheelchair, maybe washing dishes or washing clothes.
32:07
And I wake up in the morning and I just shift them around to their next task.
32:13
So I just have a house full of I guess they're like handmaids, just
32:20
just men dressed as handmaids in wheelchairs.
32:25
You know, what's great about that is I don't want to do work.
32:28
They don't have legs or legs that work.
32:31
So basically, I will do my daily tasks with them.
32:36
So maybe if I need to go grocery shopping, I will push them around the store.
32:39
They grab the groceries off the shelves.
32:42
They get to move around and I don't have to do any work other than push them, I guess.
32:46
But maybe I get another wheelchair man to push the wheelchair man.
32:50
Oh, just right.
32:51
But do you still have to be there?
32:52
I, you know, I who pushes the wheelchair man pushing the wheelchair man.
32:56
I think, you know, you just get him at the top of the hill.
32:58
They'll figure it out.
32:59
I'm in them.
33:01
And they just kind of maybe just a line of wheelchair people pushing each other.
33:07
The grocery store just kind of getting my groceries.
33:11
I do want to say you gave me crap about kidnapping one person named Greg.
33:16
But then you go and enslave an army of wheelchair men.
33:20
They're not enslaved.
33:21
Do they get paid?
33:22
They get.
33:24
Are they there under the roof?
33:25
Are they there under their own free will?
33:26
I think I feel like they get paid and you can't pay them in hugs.
33:29
That is not a currency.
33:32
So I can't hug them.
33:33
No.
33:33
OK, just don't count.
33:35
I was not planning on hugging them.
33:37
I don't want to catch what they have.
33:40
Handicap.
33:44
They get paid in the fact that they get the park closer to buildings.
33:48
You don't get that anyway.
33:49
They were getting that without being under your thumb.
33:52
But I tell them that's what they're getting paid with.
33:54
I'm like, if you, you know, if you stay with me, you get to park closer
33:58
to the Sam's Club, you know?
34:01
Maybe I pay them in the fact that people will hold open doors for them.
34:06
Again, you're just naming things that would happen anyway without you.
34:09
They would have gotten, yeah, all these without those without you.
34:12
They haven't realized yet that the sticker that allows them to park at the front parking space
34:17
is a government entity and not you.
34:19
It's funny that you've got old men who haven't figured out that you are the one putting the
34:23
stickers out when they were born long before you were.
34:25
I never said they're old.
34:27
Oh, there are some old men, but I think the only criteria I have for you to be working in my in
34:34
my estate is your legs can't work and you can't read.
34:39
If I find a person, quote unquote, a person that meets those two criteria, I'm going to be like,
34:48
meets those two criteria.
34:50
They're very easy to take.
34:51
They're on wheels.
34:53
So your estate, you've got people working on your estate and they can't run away.
34:59
Yes.
34:59
Why have why has other societies not thought about this?
35:04
Other societies always took people that could run.
35:09
They didn't have wheelchairs back then.
35:12
The wheelchair is not a wild concept.
35:14
It's a very easy concept.
35:15
I mean, I say you should get people with on iron lungs.
35:20
They really can't run away.
35:23
You mean the 1950s polio iron lung?
35:28
The only thing keeping them alive is a giant machine just pumping air into them.
35:32
Yeah, I think that would be kind of difficult for them to like grocery shop for me,
35:36
mostly because the iron lug is the size of a car.
35:40
Maybe they could be like your like your house staff.
35:43
The the iron lung just like has a room where they just do things in the room.
35:46
Well, just with like, you know, the head just sticks out of the iron lung.
35:49
Isn't the thing mobile?
35:50
I mean, I guess they essentially on it, too.
35:53
They just all right.
35:53
We'll just keep them in front of the sink.
35:55
Yeah, just doing some dishes.
35:57
Yeah, just doing with their mouth.
35:59
Yes.
36:02
It's like what do you call the the wheelchairs where you blow into them to to move around?
36:06
Yeah, yeah, it's essentially that.
36:08
Yeah, I have them by the front door as your greeting stuff.
36:10
That's what I was thinking, too.
36:12
When I was thinking maybe a job that they could have.
36:13
First thing people see when they walk in,
36:16
a man, you know, the iron lung, they're kind of on their back.
36:21
So with a machine the size of a car and they're like, hello, welcome to Zach's estate.
36:26
They're having to look upside down and people can barely hear the voice over the hissing of the iron lung.
36:36
Like Darth Vader.
36:37
Yeah, I put him in a Darth Vader helmet. You know, I don't think there's many left, but again,
36:46
they're like they're easy to easy to I'm not going to say steel.
36:49
You should.
36:50
I'm not going to say steel.
36:51
That's what the police would surprise adopt.
36:53
They're easy to surprise adopt with the amount of wheelchairs that you have moving an iron lung
36:58
around shouldn't be that difficult. You've got you've got enough of them to do.
37:01
You think I should put it on like each corner, each leg on the wheelchair?
37:04
Yeah, you could use it as a precarious.
37:09
Because I don't know why I don't think you could get an iron lung has been tipped over up.
37:14
Yeah, probably not.
37:16
It's like a Voltron, but for handicapped people or just disabilities in general.
37:21
The thing is, handicapped people, people in wheelchairs, they got to be strong, right?
37:26
They have a low sensor center of gravity. It's hard to tip them over.
37:29
They got to have some kind of strength in there.
37:31
You band enough of them together, but they could get that.
37:33
Yeah. So like the person in the iron lung is in like a hospital, whatever.
37:39
And then me and my band of wheelchair individuals put on like masks and they just, you know,
37:46
we play like little.
37:47
Because you're afraid of viruses?
37:49
Because you're afraid.
37:50
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, we put on like face masks, too, but I mean, specifically like.
37:56
Like a welder's mask.
38:00
We just want to cover our face.
38:01
And you're afraid of bright lights.
38:03
You don't want to hurt your eyes.
38:04
So we put on welder masks to cover our face.
38:07
You know, all of a sudden, just throughout the halls of this hospital,
38:10
there's just 12 to 15 people in wheelchairs just banging on walls because they can't see
38:16
because of the welder's mask.
38:17
Not a lot of peripheral sight out of it.
38:21
They're just running into running into walls and doors like where's the guy in the iron lung?
38:26
Well, it could be a lot like, you know, how like horses have blinders when they
38:30
when when people ride them so that they don't look side to side.
38:32
Yeah, the welder, the welder mask could kind of do the same thing.
38:37
Yeah, I know some set on the task and they don't get spooked by the things.
38:41
Yeah, I don't want them to get distracted.
38:45
So that's what happens.
38:47
We put on masks, various masks could be welders, could be blinders.
38:51
Our main goal is to go and surprise atop that person in the iron lung to take him back home
38:56
to be a greeter.
39:00
Do you think?
39:04
No, I don't.
39:06
Do you think that your band of wheelchair men that you have previously called Handmaids are
39:14
banding together to write a novel about their experiences and calling it a tale?
39:20
The Handmaids tale had too many women in it.
39:22
I'm sure this is similar.
39:24
Yeah, this is very similar to similar rape.
39:32
So much less rape is not what they said.
39:36
Zach is using so much less, but not saying none.
39:40
Again, we're talking about relativity here.
39:46
Oh, man.
39:47
Well, listen, what happens in the wheelchair men's corridor in my estate is up to them.
39:53
There might be raping happening.
39:54
I don't know.
39:55
It might be like a prison shower.
39:57
I know it goes on down there.
39:59
That's what I do in the morning.
40:05
Golly, you know, I forgot the initial question.
40:19
But wait, there's no better way to start your day than either getting up and immediately
40:27
taking notes about a man you trapped in your crawlspace named Greg or just showering, being wet
40:37
while you do a bunch of tasks.
40:39
Right.
40:40
The better American or not enslaving crippled people, but surprise adopting crippled people.
40:47
So they do tasks around your your estate for you.
40:51
No better way to wake up.
40:52
You know, people say wake up early, make your bed.
40:55
It's the first success of the day.
40:57
It makes you feel better.
40:58
I say no.
40:59
We do things differently here in saying that because we wake up so refreshed, we know a
41:05
lot of facts.
41:06
We do a lot of learning.
41:08
So we're about to learn y'all a thing or two about sleeping.
41:12
So let's do that.
41:13
Did you know, did you know, did you know that it's all right to wonder?
41:21
Did you know that it's all right to wonder?
41:25
There are all kinds of wonderful things in this world.
41:30
All right.
41:32
So for our fact heavy segment here, we're going to tell everybody facts about sleeping.
41:39
You know, you do it for a third of your life and so it's important.
41:43
Right.
41:44
So people need to be knowledgeable about, you know, sleeping and waking up and the best
41:49
way to be efficient.
41:51
I'll get the first fact.
41:53
Did y'all know research shows that the days leading up to a full moon, people go to bed
41:58
later and sleep less, although the reasons are unclear.
42:02
What a fact.
42:03
What a fact.
42:04
It didn't even tell us the reason.
42:07
Did you know insomnia is not defined by the sleep you lose each night, but by the drowsiness,
42:14
difficulty concentrating, headaches, irritability and other problems it can cause each day.
42:19
Wow.
42:20
Did you know on average we spend about two hours per night dreaming, mostly during REM sleep.
42:26
Did you know sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away.
42:30
I'll do the same thing to you if your door is unlocked.
42:34
It's a good fact.
42:36
It's a good fact.
42:37
It's a good fact.
42:39
It's a fact I know 100% will happen.
42:43
Did you know if you get less than 13 hours of sleep a night, a little devil named Beelzebub
42:48
will crawl into your thoughts and your mind and make you think that you're a gypsy boy
42:53
and you want to climb Mount Everest, but you can't.
42:58
You have rough nights, don't you?
43:02
It's a common fact.
43:03
It's just a fact.
43:04
It's not about me.
43:05
It's just a fact.
43:06
Did you know it's extremely common to get up 11 to 12 times a night to go to the bathroom?
43:14
Extremely common.
43:16
So if you're doing this, don't go to your doctor about it because it's not weird.
43:20
Very common.
43:21
Don't let your wife tell you, hey, you really need to see a doctor about this.
43:25
You could have some kind of tumor pressing against your bladder, but no, it's not a problem.
43:31
Did you know that in Bulgaria, the working class will go to sleep sitting at their table
43:37
just so they can get up early the next morning?
43:40
The Bulgarians, big, big, big efficient.
43:42
Yeah.
43:43
Yeah.
43:44
You appreciate them.
43:45
Did you know that women are 40% more likely to have insomnia than men are and 100% more
43:50
likely to tell you about it?
43:57
Did you know you actually fall asleep five times faster?
43:59
If you're standing upside down on your hands as that blood rushes to your head, it allows
44:06
you to kind of black out in a way.
44:08
That's why the Sudanese are the most well rested of all the countries.
44:15
Did you know being awake for 16 hours straight decreases your performance as much as if your
44:21
blood alcohol level were 0.05%?
44:25
So, alcoholics, you don't even have to drink.
44:29
Just stay up.
44:31
You'll get the same escape from reality.
44:35
You can kill just as many people when you're driving.
44:39
Did you know in the 17th century, getting up in the middle of night was normal, but
44:43
so was slavery.
44:46
So I don't know if you should do what they do.
44:50
Sure, that's a causation, not a correlation.
44:55
The average nap is about one hour.
44:57
Anything longer than that is considered a coma.
45:02
You just put people in comas and they're just sleepy.
45:05
Every night people go into a coma when they sleep.
45:09
We had MLK Day the other day.
45:11
Did you know if Martin Luther King Jr. was asleep instead of out smoking on his balcony,
45:16
he wouldn't have been shot?
45:22
The same can be said about Abraham Lincoln, right?
45:24
Absolutely.
45:26
Just be asleep and you won't be shot?
45:28
Yeah.
45:29
If you weren't where you are at that current moment, but you were sleeping, you would still be alive.
45:34
Did you know that every morning, US President Joe Biden drinks two quarts of Zequil, which is where he got the name Sleepy Joe?
45:43
Two quarts.
45:46
Did you know over 30,000 Americans sleep inside their mattress like a nesting rodent?
45:57
They just burrow themselves in there.
46:00
Did you know that 40% of Americans believe in the boogeyman?
46:04
The other 60% are the boogeyman.
46:09
60% Americans are boogeyman?
46:16
I like how those 60% don't count as the 40% like they don't believe in what they are.
46:22
Just the facts.
46:24
Did you know on average men are supposed to sleep at least 16 to 18 hours a day?
46:28
So when your wife calls you a little sweepy boy, she is right because you are.
46:35
You are a little sweepy boy?
46:37
Because you are a dog.
46:41
Did you know that because the Amish don't believe in the use of modern technology, that instead of using an oscillating fan to get to sleep,
46:51
they will just get their friend Jebediah to come blow on their face to help them cool off during sleep?
46:57
Turning side to side?
46:59
Yeah, he like turns his head.
47:02
Did you know one in three Americans goes to sleep in a three piece suit?
47:07
One in three Americans?
47:09
One in three.
47:10
So professional.
47:12
That's the stat I am going off on.
47:15
Which one of y'all?
47:17
You are looking at us when it is probably you.
47:19
I am guessing it is probably you.
47:21
I like to be classy.
47:24
Did you know that one fourth of Americans use a sound machine to go to sleep?
47:29
I just crank a lawn mower in my bedroom and let it run all night.
47:33
Let the carbon dioxide put you to sleep.
47:36
That's very painful.
47:39
Did you know that 23% of adults have admitted to having a sleepwalk episode?
47:46
Did you know 50% of adults have had an episode of sleep shooting?
47:52
Where they get their nearest firearm and just do some pop-ups.
47:56
Some desk pops into the roof.
47:59
Did you know sleep is actually an acronym?
48:02
It stands for small leathery elephants eat problems.
48:07
How do we apply that to life?
48:11
Every time a problem comes up you are like, well, small leathery elephants eat problems.
48:18
And people are like, thank you, I am comforted.
48:20
Anytime you have a nightmare, just an army of little leathery elephants go and eat your nightmare away.
48:26
Like it is a little tree leaf.
48:28
You are schizophrenic.
48:30
Did you know that 8% of people have had an episode of sleep paralysis?
48:34
The rest have waking paralysis and they live at Zach's house.
48:40
Waking paralysis is just life.
48:45
Did you know one of the best sleep aids is just to wail and cry yourself to sleep at night?
48:54
Just absolutely let out all your emotion into your pillowcase.
48:58
Especially if your wife is laying right next to you.
49:01
It will put her to sleep too, so don't worry about that.
49:04
But you just continually scream at the top of your lungs about how sad you are.
49:10
You will fall right in.
49:13
Just tears flow, you are screaming, everybody is asleep within five minutes.
49:19
Just ignoring you because you are making it awkward.
49:23
Did you know one of the best sleep aids is actually full blown aids?
49:28
It is an autoimmune disorder.
49:30
You die quicker.
49:32
Did you know if you have trouble sleeping at night, the best way to get around that is to put cameras,
49:37
post cameras all around your room and stream it live to every streaming website.
49:43
Allow everyone to watch your every move as you drift restlessly into unconsciousness.
49:50
You have always been a content creator.
49:52
It is all about content creation.
49:54
That is what really puts me to sleep at night is content creation.
49:58
Being validated by people.
50:00
By Twitch chat.
50:04
Let's give the Saturday workers two more facts.
50:09
But not only facts, some wisdom.
50:11
What is y'all's one-liner wisdom for today?
50:14
They say a penny saved is a penny earned.
50:17
But if you stop there, you will end up homeless.
50:21
Inflation really is taken over.
50:24
You are not worth much.
50:26
Blankets may keep you warm for a day.
50:29
Blankets may keep you warm for a night.
50:32
But they won't stop BL's above from infesting your brain and your dreams and crushing you silently from the inside.
50:42
You're really going through something.
50:44
God, he's sweating.
50:47
It's hot in his house.
50:49
There you go.
50:50
If you have a hypothetical you want answered, advice that you need from the three wisest people on the planet.
50:56
If you have a subject that you want to know facts about,
50:58
questionable detour podcast at gmail.com, write us.
51:02
Tell us about it.
51:03
Also tell your friends.
51:04
But do y'all want to be done?
51:06
I guess.
51:07
Sure.
51:08
I mean, what a dream, you know.
51:10
Hey, Belzy.
51:11
He sleeps like a cartoon character.
51:14
I can see little breaths coming up in circles out of his mouth.
51:18
How did we get this guy to torment?
51:20
I don't know.
51:21
He doesn't even look good as a gypsy boy.
51:24
I don't even think the gypsies want him.
51:27
We got to convince this guy to be a gypsy boy.
51:30
That would be such a beautiful gypsy boy.
51:32
Oh, he kind of.
51:34
He's really confident over there.
51:36
Misplaced.
51:38
He does it. He doesn't look in shape.
51:39
There's no way he's climbing Mount Everest.
51:41
No.
51:42
Should we just give him a tambourine and let him dance around?
51:44
That's the only thing I know about gypsies.
51:47
I have no rhythm.
51:49
Oh.
51:53
God, it's hot in here in his room.
51:56
I have air conditioning.
51:58
He's sleeping in a greenhouse.
52:00
We've been to hell and it's hot in here.
52:05
It's not well ventilated.
52:07
It's all on air flow.
52:09
They say hell's the worst.
52:11
This is hell.
52:12
Having to torment him in his sleep.
52:15
We could have tormented anybody.
52:16
Yeah.
52:17
We could have got anybody.
52:18
We drew the short straw here.
52:19
It's great to have you.
52:22
We didn't expect the detour.