Latest / The Rockyn YES Podcast - with Dr. Raquel Yarroch / Beyond the Autism Diagnosis: Hope and Healing with Dawn McFarland

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Beyond the Autism Diagnosis: Hope and Healing with Dawn McFarland · The Rockyn YES Podcast - with Dr. Raquel Yarroch

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: The Breakthrough Edge.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel and now Media Television.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel, and this is where I help you move beyond limitation, step into clarity, and discover what it really takes to create lasting change in life, business, and purpose.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Today I'm honored to welcome Dawn McFarland, Psy D, founder and executive director of Optimal Healthy Mind.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Dawn is a clinical psychologist with more than 20 years of experience helping families navigate autism-related health challenges.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: But this conversation is also deeply personal.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Her journey began inside her own family after helping several of her children improve through individualized interventions, including her sons, who, after seven years of dedicated support, no longer qualified for an autism diagnosis.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: Today I want to talk about hope, perseverance, wellness, and what happens when a parent refuses to stop searching for answers.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: Dr.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: Don, welcome to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much, Raquel.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so pleased to talk with you.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so excited you are here.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: This is like a dream come true to have you on the show.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dr.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Dawn, when autism first became part of your own family story, what did that moment do to you as a mother and as a clinical psychologist?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, I wasn't expecting it.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: I thought my kids just had um at that time it was called pervasive developmental disorder.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: And they had a speech delay and they were wild.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I took my six-year-old to get tested for the gifted program because I knew he was really smart, even though he had word salad, which means his his words were jumbled everywhere.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, actually, only his brother could understand what he was talking about.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I sent him in for testing.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying that he was gifted, the diagnosis was autism.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't prepared for that because I was thinking it was less severe than that.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um especially since I knew he was really smart.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: That had to be hard.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then I started thinking about my two-year-old.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I had a two-year-old at home, a little butter ball.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And he had a little pudgy angelic face, and uh, but he had lost his speech, so and he had started headbanging.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then I realized if the older one had it, he probably had it too.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then uh the worst part of it was I was pregnant at the time, and then I thought, what's gonna happen with the baby?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know, but um so that was our introduction to autism was actually part of our family, and it wasn't just something that I was treating through uh my graduate school training.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: That was not the path that I was planning on.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was planning on having healthy children who were really bright and happy and cheerful, and we weren't on that path.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that that was the beginning of it.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um I cried.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: I was frozen for quite a while.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: That had to be insanely hard.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the first thing I did after the shock wore off enough to move was start reading.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what I was reading wasn't promising because everything was still what I had learned in graduate school, that autism is um a diagnosis that you help your kid cope with, that they don't recover.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um so that's what I was reading, but I did read that you could do um there were some kids that were responding well to food changes, changes within their diet.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: So was that your first sign that made you believe that there could be more that you could do?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um it gave me a little hope that at least I was reading there was a few kids that were not recovered, but they were doing better.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: If things like, you know, the basics of take gluten out of their diet, take case in out of their diet, no preservatives.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a super clean diet.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I took them to an environmental specialist uh in here in St.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Louis, and um I let them know about the you know the diagnosis.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing we do was change our diet, drastically change your diet, because my kids were what what you call this, they were on the sad diet, which is the standard American diet.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't I think most of our kids are on that.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, as much as we try to have them eat healthy, they just don't want to follow our lines.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's like remember my son saying, Mom, why do I have to eat healthy?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have to be like you, like so you can grow tall and strong.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And they don't teach you, you know, they say eat healthy when you go to your school, but they don't teach you that, you know, if you if you have genetics like celiac's disease and you eat wheat, your brain inflames and you can't think straight and your gut's messed up.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And my kids unfortunately were in that uh group.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Autism though is caused by so many things, so it's not it's not just one thing for every kid, which is why it's so uh complicated to unravel it.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: But what we started with was the diet, and a month into it, my kid was in the doctor's office, he he gave got a coloring page and he drew he colored it.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: He he instead of and then at the end he gave it to me and he didn't rip it up and he didn't cry, and the doctor looked at me to make sure that I noticed and I I noticed it.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: That was it.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that was that was actually the first behavior after about a month where I thought this isn't just digestive, this is this is the brain.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I took that picture home, it was a goofy, kind of ugly little picture cartoon, but I hung it on my um refrigerator and it stayed there for years.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's sweet.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: So during those early years, what felt hardest?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: The diagnosis itself, the uncertainty, or the emotional responsibility of trying to find the right path.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um not the diagnosis at first, because I had started to read about what you could do, and although it was just little symptoms to improve, and I couldn't find any research on recovery, I thought, well, I'll just get started on improving little symptoms one at a time.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um And that's huge when you're just taking it one step at a time and just watching for those signs.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because is that, you know, I mean, that's you did this for seven years, walking through interventions with your son.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm assuming that by seeing these little signs is what kept you going when the progress was slow and unclear, right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: It would take a little while to see it.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you had to be patient.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of the things that helped me was that I was dealing not just with one kid.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I had four that were on the spectrum.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Four of your five kids.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So two were mild and two were severe, severe as in like headbanging, mute.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my one kid had no speech at all for a year and a half, and he had been speaking sentences.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, sentences prior to vaccinations.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but they had no eye contact, they were violent.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: We had ice packs out every day.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it was it was chaos.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I remember when we were sorry, well, I remember when we were talking to you about, you know, like we were talking about with chaos, that you actually kind of had to quit your job and homeschool them and take care of them because you wanted to make sure that you felt bad if you sent them into school the way they were.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so you chose to homeschool them.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I was afraid that they would get hurt because even on my watch, and I was really hyper-vigilant, which just does a disaster to your adrenal system because I was in fight or flight trying to protect my kids all the time.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: But even when I was watching them constantly, they would do things like hang on my chandeliers, um, go on the outside of my second, you know, two-story building and scale the side of the building, like close the door on my car, the garage door three times, like just things like that every day.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when I say chaos, it's things like when your relatives come in, and the first thing they do is they look around and they say, Oh Don, you really need to clean up this place.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Oh my god, I'm trying to keep my kids alive, right?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: So what did it feel like it's traumatizing actually?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: Nice.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: So we just have a few seconds left, and I just wanted you to let people know what it feels like when you retested your sons and they no longer qualified for an autoimmune diagnosis.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: What did that breakthrough mean to you personally?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um that actually the first thing I felt was vindication because I had read and I had been told, and I had been scolded by so many physicians and family members about don't not giving them more vaccines, or why am I giving them all these supplements?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna poison them, or why don't I just let them eat a piece of cake, you know, at Thanksgiving dinner?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my kids are really sick.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: I I knew what would happen.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: So so vindication and awe, like awe that we survived it, and that we got through it, and they were sweet.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I actually enjoyed being around my kids.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, you said you actually got a real hug for once when they finally were all better.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: That that hug was the most yeah, yeah.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you're when your kid runs and they hug you and it they embrace you, and they're not they're not squeezing underneath and bruising you or yanking your hair out.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's just such a wonderful thing that most people take, um, they don't they just take it for granted.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So at the end, what we did, if we hadn't been on a vacation for two years.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: And we have to, um, that is powerful because what I hear in your story is not just information.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: I hear a mother's determination, a clinician's curiosity, and a family's refusal to give up.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: When we come back, I want to go deeper into the health side of autism and why behavior may only be one part of a much bigger picture.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: And we're back.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge, a non media television.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: Let's continue.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Stay connected with Dawn McFarland, Cy D at Optimal Healthymind.com, or reach out by phone at 1-314-368-9646.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: And by email at dron at optimalhealthymind.com.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_02: She is also located in the St.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Louis area.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: You can also find Dawn McFarland on Instagram and Facebook.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome back to the Bee, the Breakthrough Edge.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: Stay connected to the show and every Now Media TV favorite, live or on demand, anytime you like.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and unlock nonstop bilingual programming in English and Spanish.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: On the move, catch the podcast version at www.nowmedia.tv.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm here with Dr.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: Don McFarlane Saidi, founder and executive director of Optimal Healthy Mind.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: And we are talking about breaking through autism-related health challenges with knowledge, perseverance, and individualized support.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dr.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: Don, when parents are focused on behavior, what might they be missing underneath the surface?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first of all, we got stuck in the behavioral loop for a while, too.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then I realized this doesn't make sense to me because I didn't teach my kids how to be autistic.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm going to recover my kids, why would I teach them autism work?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: So all those behavioral modifications are helpful.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like we had a point system and very um strict rules and things like that, with the understanding there were just going to be down days where the rules were off and safety was the um the main event.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: But with the behavior thing, um you can actually miss the opportunity to actually make the profound metabolic changes that the brain needs.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like that there's some impact on the brain, you know, when you do behaviors, and of course, being in a healthy environment with lots of love, it calms the system, but that's not going to get toxins out of a child, and that's not going to put nutrients in them that you know, for genetic reasons, or maybe the toxins were blocking it, that won't get the nutrients in their brain that they need.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: So um, while it's helpful and it's supportive, for me, once I figure it out, this is not a learned behavior, this has to be organic.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't find initially I couldn't find much on the organic part of it, but now there's more, there's so much information on the biology of autism.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's not really, it's not really a mystery, it's more that it's complex.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And each child, you when you know their genetics, you know what's missing, what they're likely to absorb too much of because they're you know not detoxing well.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that that's the path.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: So they could actually miss the whole path if if you hyper focus on the supportive um antibiotics.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I love it how you just kind of led right into like how you know a lot of food and other things are involved in there looking at the genetics.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: So, how do advanced lab testing and comprehensive genetic analysis help families move from guessing to understanding?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first let me say that when I was starting this 20 years ago, we didn't have access to genetics.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: So that's I think that's part of the reason why it took me seven years.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: But the interesting thing was that once I had my kids' genetics done later, and now I work with the company for the past five years that has like the broadest spectrum of genes that you can test, like more than 80,000 SNPs, which you can't get at a hospital system.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is this is very um, very comprehensive, and very cutting edge, too.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: That's amazing.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: But the cool thing was when I had their genes tested, everything that I had observed behaviorally, and keep in mind I couldn't have observed these things had I not been homeschooling them.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So watching them like a hawk, I could see things like when I gave them pork, which was full of tyrosine, you know, they'd absolutely lose the color in their face.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, genetic observation.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: They can't handle tyrosine.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if I had had the genetics done right away, I would have known don't give them pork because genetically it's just not compatible for them.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: So genetics are really that the fast track where you can bypass so much of this suffering.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like celiac's disease.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: If I knew my kids had a wheat intolerance like that, of course I would have you know taken it away from them right away and given them all the all the goodies that they enjoy now instead.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's so much, there's so much dietary things that you can do.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: But there are so when we started, all that stuff wasn't available, and there wasn't labs available either.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: So now you can get the micronutrients tested to see why your kid falls asleep in the middle of the afternoon.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: What are they missing?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's huge because there's a lot of kids that just fall asleep, and a lot of times it's just their micronutrient status is depleted.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't start giving them what they need, how are they supposed to fill up their body and work, right?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, my kids used to fall asleep while they ate, and I told the pediatrician, this is weird.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like I took a video of my baby eating spaghetti, and then he gradually he just fell right in the bowl.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's because that inflammation went to the brain and put him to sleep.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't, I didn't know it, but they had all kinds of weird things, like my one kid had um these beautiful eyes, and they were um blue, but they had the prettiest copper ring around the outside of it, and even the pediatrician she said, Oh my gosh, your kid has the prettiest eyes.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was copper poison.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, seriously?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: It was, yes.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know, and this is where environmental things uh interact with genetics.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize my kids couldn't tolerate copper, and they weren't were not um absorbing uh zinc.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's the shank gene that controls that.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of kids on the spectrum have it, but not all of them.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I was letting my kids catch frogs in the pond behind us, but I didn't realize it had been treated with copper sulfate, so they were absorbing all this copper through their hands, catching these bullfrogs, which was so fun.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: But of course, I wouldn't want my kids to be poisoned.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's a huge eye-opening thing.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_02: So, what mistakes do parents sometimes make when they piece together advice from the internet without a clear plan?
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: Because I mean, you're giving real life examples of like what you notice, but what about the internet now that we have all over?
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it depends on what site you pull up.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's tricky business because when you go on there, they say things that you know aren't true.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like they say the shots weren't hurt your kid.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: And which took me a while to to come to terms with.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's just really sad when when you allow somebody that you think knows better and has read the research to um give your kid a shot.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: That, you know, and my kids, not all kids on the spectrum, but my kids turned up high.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Mercury, aluminum, silver, cadmium, plutonium, all kinds of weird stuff.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not all of it came from shots, but the mercury and the aluminum definitely did.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so those lies are still out there.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: And they lied to you, and they say everywhere on the internet it says you can't cure autism.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not supposed to say there's a cure for it.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think they like to say there's no cure for anything that's just their when all the symptoms are gone.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can't call that a cure.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I I don't understand that.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: So um, or that, you know, the most that you can do is ABA therapy.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I think ABA therapy is great.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: I think parents need a break.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: It actually decreases risk of hospitalization because it's so stressful to take care of a kid on the spectrum.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but ABA therapy is not going to change the metabolism of an inflamed brain.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: Got it.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: So uh Dawn, last question real quick.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: How do you help families create a wellness protocol that is personalized, practical, and safe?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um the genetics would be the guiding thing.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: So once they get the genetics done, uh we find out the risk.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and then labs are also helpful in that.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: And there's specific labs to be done for kids, kids on the spectrum, and then also specific labs for specific symptoms.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it requires a detailed uh history about all the behaviors, all the possible toxins they've been exposed to.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then based on that, um, and then the other component to it too, though, is support of the parent.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we're gonna get into that next.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Parents are frazzled, so and they've been told that this is you know not achievable, so but it is.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: Got it.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: This is such an important distinction because when we only look at behavior, we may miss what the body is trying to tell us.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: When we come back, I want to talk about the parents' breakthrough, the emotional strength, confidence, and mindset it takes to keep moving forward.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: And we're back.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge on nonmedia television.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: Let's continue.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel, and today I'm speaking with Dr.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: Don McFarlane, Psy D of Optimal Healthy Mind, about what it takes for families to move from overwhelmed into informed, intentional action.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dr.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: Don, when families come to you, what emotional weights are they usually carrying?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Families have a tremendous burden.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Usually embarrassment, confusion, guilt, frustration, rage, resentment, overwhelm, fatigue, not just fit mental fatigue, but physical fatigue, remorse, despair, grief.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's a lot.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Moms are traumatized.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: I remember when we were in our group training that we did with uh some a group that we were in, and you just releasing all of that trauma that you had stored in your body and what it had done to you.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: That was a huge breakthrough for you when you were releasing all of that.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was storing it in my body on unbeknownst to me.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: My body was complete.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, to let that go was just tremendous.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, since then you're yeah, I mean, ever since you let that go.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I saw you before you let it go and who you were and what you look like.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: And now you have this lightness about you, your color, your skin tone, everything about you is 100% different.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's been an amazing experience to watch.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: And and I know other parents are probably out there just wishing they want yours to shift and change too, but they also want their kids to get better, but they also want to make sure they're taking care of themselves because you know, some things that we're always taught is you know, take care of yourself first, right?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right, yeah, yeah.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: So, how do you help parents rebuild confidence when they spent years feeling dismissed, confused, or alone?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: Confidence, you know, most people, even the average person, lacks confidence.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: We don't really understand as much as we can do that we are capable of doing.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um and and part of that is because we lose touch, we lose touch with um that divine power that's within all of us.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um we lose our own internal guidance or compass.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um so part of so part of what I'm doing is helping parents understand that these little wins that they do, um, for example, when they restrain themselves, uh, when their kids having an uh emotional outburst, that's a win for the parent.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's actually good parenting.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: So um so people uh need to focus on the positive outcomes, even if and if it and I don't mean to say the outcome on your kids, so because sometimes you do the right thing, especially in the early stages of trying to help a kid on the spectrum, you do the right thing quite often, and then you don't see the result that you're hoping for.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, what you have to focus is on is that you did the right thing, that that was actually good parenting.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have control over your kid's misbehavior, but you can set up your environment hopefully that it's safe, they gradually learn, they gradually get better.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so anticipating that things have to, they must, and they will get better is an extremely important mindset to have.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: So would you wonder what so would you say that that specific mind shift would help parents move from I don't know what to do into I can take the next right step?
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, most definitely.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: There um, you know, we're put in by our society into a state of paralysis.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and when you have a kid on the spectrum, not only are you paralyzed, but you're hyper-vigilant and you're just ready for the next disaster.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't freeze.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be so hard on you.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it doesn't free up a lot of space though to think, to problem solve, to take care of yourself.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um you never feel like you're safe.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's um there has to be a lot of things.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, what do you feel would be their next step that they would the next right step in them, the mindset to help them with that next right step?
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say that would be if you had to pick something or choose or how you would guide them?
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: The next right step is um the mindset has to change in in terms of considering that their kid could improve.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if everybody's gonna be able to achieve the miracle that my boys achieved.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I know you got four out of four, a hundred percent that you're completely shifted.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's huge, that's a miracle, that's amazing.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's but and I know we were talking earlier too, was that you said there was there's thousands of kids on the autism spectrum.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think you said that there's a lot that are getting relief because now that this new testing and these new supportive tools, and now you're stepping into your new passion to help these parents.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Because I mean, that's what you're meant to do is help these parents get the same results you did.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it it's um I always tell parents that there's so much that they have control over, but they don't realize it.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like they have control over when you go to the store, you have control over what you buy, what products you put on your skin for and for your child.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um things like the air in your house, you know.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you you can't have a kid exposed to mold and and lime and plastic and petroleum and and expect them to grow up healthy.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: So now that's a long list, but you have to look and see what you have control over.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can you go to the store to buy food anyway, so you might as well buy the healthy stuff, right?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: What I found though, um, in working with people, and I'm sure you do too, is that they don't always know any of this stuff.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like we're doctors, and we know this because we've studied it.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: They don't know all of this, so they need to work with you so they can learn that because otherwise that can be an overwhelm step.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't know what to do.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: But once they work with you and they know that one first step that they need to take, the one thing to do now, that's huge, right?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that gives them the relief knowing they got someone in their corner.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, now there's so much um knowledge available.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if you, you know, if you have somebody to help you along to understand what's good, what's good nutrition, what does non-toxic living even mean?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's so much easier than, you know, the way I did it was when I knew my kids were no longer running around naked outside or stealing food out of the refrigerator that would make them sick.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: I was up researching in the middle of the night.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: But now parents don't have to do that because you know, people both have gone.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: I already did that part.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you can so you're just speeding it up for them.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: All they have to do is contact you and learn from you, right?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: So, how can parents stay hopeful without becoming overwhelmed by every new method, opinion, or possibility?
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's kind of basically getting in contact with someone like you, right?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and you have to keep in mind you don't have to do every single thing.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: And as a person, build some resilience because this is rebuilding resilience of the parent, too, to keep on the right course and to add one thing after the other.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's um, but they need a coach, they need somebody to say, you can do this.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: There, here's a plan, it's very clear, just stay on the plan, you're good.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: So then over time you see the success.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's um so what have you learned about perseverance from your own journey that you now pass on to families you serve?
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, without perseverance, my kids would still be mute, I'm pretty sure.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: They were really sick.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, perseverance comes from taking care of yourself also.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: So knowing when to step back, take a break, lean on somebody else.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I leaned on the researchers because that's who I had available.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you know, parents can if they want to call me, they can lean on me and I can give them all of the stuff that has been collected from all over the place.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you can let your guard down a little bit because you know you're on the right path.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's it's really um it's letting go, but but knowing that you're going in the right direction.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: And when you have that calmness, that sense of your um purpose, and that you know you're gonna achieve it, um, it makes every it actually makes miracles possible.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_02: Things like that makes miracles possible.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's like you're the miracle maker.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, well, for that family you are, you know, and look at how much life your life has changed as your kids have gotten so much better.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's huge.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: And you want to give that to everybody else, you want them to have your breakthrough to experience life, to be you, be true, be free, you know.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I always thought God wouldn't want my kids to suffer.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just have to figure out how to fix this.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: But now there's a formula, so which is a lot better.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_02: So beautiful.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna go over that next.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: So that is the breakthrough so many families need, not just the plan for the child, but strength for the parent.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: When parents are informed, supported, and emotionally grounded, they can lead with a different kind of clarity.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: When we return, I want to bring this conversation home with practical takeaways for families who are ready to take their next step.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: We'll be right back with more insights to help you break through barriers and move forward with confidence.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: And we're back.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel, and this is Be The Breakthrough Edge, a non Media Television.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_02: Let's continue.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: To connect with Dr.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_02: Don McFarland's ID, visit optimalhealthymind.com.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_02: Call 1-314-368-9646 or email Dr.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: Dawn at Optimal Healthymind.com.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: You can also follow Dawn McFarland on Instagram and Facebook for more insight and support.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: And she is located in the St.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Louis area.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_02: So welcome back to Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_02: Stay connected to this show and every Now Media TV favorite, live or on demand, anytime you like.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_02: Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and unlock nonstop bilingual programming in English and Spanish.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: On the move, catch the podcast version at www.nowmedia.tv.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm closing today's conversation with Dr.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: Don McFarlane Side, founder and executive director of Optimal Healthy Mind.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_02: And we are talking about how families can move from fear and confusion into practical, personalized steps toward greater health and progress.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dr.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: Don, when you talk about helping children reach higher levels of health and progress, what does progress really look like?
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: Progress is actually dependent on the child's symptoms and where you start.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_00: So some child, you know, some children are are mute or they're severely language impaired.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's other children where the the uh focus because want to be more on social or uh you know keeping them their hands to themselves and not being violent, so um, or anxiety, the meltdowns.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it usually what we focus on is the most important part.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: So for some kids it's gonna be speech or their um or danger or impulsivity.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um and that starts with a um a really, really thorough um diagnostic interview where all those little things that might be just a little bit different about a kid, um, or the parents are have questions about or they noticed, those are all clues, really important clues.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: So clues also not only on um, you know, what's a challenge to the family and what they need support in, but also clues on that kid's chemistry and if there needs to be labs done in a certain area, so that the metabolism that usually predicts that sort of problem is is uh remedied or supported.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um so discerning which labs to get, there's a certain core, but then there's also others that are specific to the kid's symptoms.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm assuming that when they start working with you, then you guide them and you let them know which test they would need to order.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_02: So that way it reduces the overwhelm for the parent.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_02: So um is was what is the one first step a parent can take to feel if they do feel overwhelmed and do not know where to begin?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: What would you suggest is their first step they should take?
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: First step would be well, one to remember they're not in this alone.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's been parents who have gone through this before.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um parents who figured out what to do.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh usually I meet these parents at autism conferences and they're other medical professionals, and we talk about our kids' miracles, uh, the ones that aren't not researched yet.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's amazing.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: But these and so any parent can go to these conferences too.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: So there's there's several good conferences to go to.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a nice start.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: But to to enjoy the process of finding the information, but not feel overwhelmed by it.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_00: So to to come up with like, you know, if you're gonna work on your kid, this can become, believe it or not, an enjoyable hobby, like something that is fascinating, something that has, you know, so much hope imbued into it, because others have already gone down that pathway, and you just have to, you know, figure out the one that's best for your particular kid.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um so the um the starting point also, you know, if you you make your start today.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like you start by when you when you uh put put food on the table and and dinner, choose a healthy meal, um, or you start by questioning where why did my kid develop this?
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, why um how did it get this bad?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um so these questions are good, they shouldn't be dismissed, they need to be explored, and you can explore it with other parents, you can explore it with a provider.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but there's definitely a path that's to be remembered.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like nobody, even when I was doing this 20 years ago, I couldn't find providers, but I knew there were researchers.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: I knew researchers had figured out parts of this, so I'll follow their path.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_02: So, what about the regular, like, because you're a doctor, and so you were able to do that.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: But what would be the path of the person who's not a doctor who has children that have autism?
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_02: What would be their path?
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's going to look different than your path.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: The um their path, the you know, you can start on levels.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are ready to start with just a little bit and they need education or reassurance.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, some people are ready to jump in.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, if you if you have the mindset of you're not quite sure where it's going, but you wanted to get better, you know, as soon as possible, that's to jump in.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, financially, you know, people have to figure out how to do that.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: When because we were homeschooling initially, I wasn't in that situation, so we started the gradual path.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, not all of our lives are planned out perfectly.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: We don't know what's coming.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to decide from the point at which you're starting what's most appropriate.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for for a lot of people, and that included us, we didn't think we had the money.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: I told my husband when I told my husband, I need to get the kids fixed because I had initial labs done, and they were predictive of um actually intellectual impairment per permanently.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: The labs were so bad.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then I went to the priests and I told him the story, and he said, Stop, stop paying all your bills, we'll take care of that.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_00: You just take your money and spend it on the medical and put everything else on hold.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I went home.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: And told my husband, my husband said, We can't take money from the church.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I said to him, Why not?
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: We've been putting it in the basket every every week.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: So he said, Well, give me a day to think about it.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so the next day he came back and we took out our phone first home equity loan.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Now, looking back on it, no, that's not what I would have planned.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: But my kids were really sick.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was homeschooling.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: I had taken off work in order to provide safety for them.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was our particular path.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's kind of a running joke at uh at autism conferences.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I've heard so many people joke about well, how many home equity loans have you taken?
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: But really, yeah, it's really it depends on how far you want to jump in and how how much in the hole you've gotten yourself financially.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, it wasn't in the hole if you think about it, because the money was just in the house.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_02: It was yeah, and you're investing into your children's health, yeah.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and using your equity to do that, yeah.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: The investment pays off.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, when we started with our head-banging, violent, mute kids.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have college-educated people who are earning money like independently.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: So this is not, it is an investment, exactly.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: So, what do you want parents to understand about patience, consistency, and individualized support?
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's a lot easier to be patient when you have somebody coaching you through it.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um I wished I had had that when I was going through it with my kids.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I did have supportive parents, which was wonderful.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: So as much support you can get from your family, just little things.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like if someone offers to help you clean up your house, say thank you.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's the embarrassment doesn't serve you at all.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um the the patience grows with when you keep reminding yourself that this has to get better.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: This will get better.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna figure it out.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so um that's kind of how that's how I think about that.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's um it's a long haul.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a lot of people say, you know, don't go into it too much, pace yourself.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's not my particular um choice, but there's some people who do make that choice about pace themselves.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm I'm an all or nothing person.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I make a decision, I go at it.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_00: But I do understand, yeah, I'm all in.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're gonna go full blast because that's you you want the results, and so you're gonna get it done.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dawn, real quick, for the parent watching right now, who is tired but still hoping, what would you say directly to them?
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: One, there's hope.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do this on your own.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much that can be done.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, so much.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't actually have to understand how all the bits fit together.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you follow a plan that's laid out for your family, you just make it one day at a time and add and build, and gradually you see the fruit, the fruit of your labor.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um that's one thing that when I was when my kids were sick, I used to tell myself, I'm not sure where this is going, but all I can do is fight the good fight.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_00: I know I had a moral responsibility to do my best.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: And now the nice thing is you can do your best as a parent, and you don't have to figure it out on your own.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much research.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to tap into all that knowledge.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_02: Excellent.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_02: So, Dr.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_02: Dawn, thank you for bringing your heart, your expertise, and your personal story to be the breakthrough edge.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_02: What I'm taking from this conversation is that breakthrough is not always one dramatic moment.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes breakthrough is this decision to keep learning, keep asking better questions, and keep taking the next right step.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_02: To everyone watching, I want you to remember this limitation is not the end of your story.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_02: With knowledge, support, perseverance, and courage, a new level of progress is possible.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Dr.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_02: Raquel, and this is Be the Breakthrough Edge.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_02: Don't wait for the breakthrough.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_02: Become the breakthrough.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_02: Be you, be true, be free.