Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Why I Don't Drink

Transcript

Why I Don't Drink · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, everyone.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I am excited to be diving into another episode for you.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is a little fun audio episode.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: So grab a cup of coffee.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're on a walk, happy to be on your walk with you.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because I am diving into why I don't drink, which is a question that I get a lot.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little like surprising because I'm kind of intrigued as to why people are so interested.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe, you know, you think I guess you I forget how much of a thing it sometimes is, depending on your life and what people around you do.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, sometimes when I'm traveling or at events or in different dinners, like spending time with people who don't know me particularly well, it's a bit sometimes shocking that I don't drink.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I when I say I don't drink, I mean I don't drink alcohol.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, what's interesting is that when people hear that, or when people hear in general that somebody doesn't drink, they immediately want to know why.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like shocking that someone doesn't drink, or they think, you know, there was a problem.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Did something happen?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Are you doing some sort of challenge?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Is it like for religious reasons?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, it's none of those things.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like I ever had like a drinking problem.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't identify as sober because I don't, you know, I feel like that's very much reversed or reserved for people who are more like alcoholics or addicted to alcohol.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't identify as that.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I think what's interesting is how unusual we've made the decision seem.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: How unusual it is to not drink.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: So let me kind of just like break this open for you.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't know.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: If someone told you that they don't do a particular workout, you probably wouldn't question it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: But when you tell somebody that you don't drink alcohol, it's like, oh my God, why?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to dive into that.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Almost as though like alcohol is something that we're supposed to participate in.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: And this is especially true, I would say for sure back in the day when I first stopped drinking.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now less so, I would say, in the last like three, four years, but even in 2020, it was shocking for people when I didn't drink and things like that.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think the the question should really be reversed in terms of, you know, why have we normalized consuming something that has well-established negative health effects to the point that choosing not to consume it requires an explanation.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I want to be clear.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Look at Miss Episode, it's not about judging people who drink.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: You might drink, you might not drink as we listen to this episode.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: You get to decide that.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: But I do think it's worth having a conversation about alcohol that is really truthful.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: And as I reveal kind of like the truth about alcohol, you'll kind of see, and you can make your own decisions for yourself, but you'll understand like more why I don't.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I really think there's, you know, two primary reasons for not drinking, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: The first is that A, I mean, I, for those of you who don't know, I have a medical background, right?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I have a very, I went to medical school, I'm a doctor.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so when I look at alcohol, I very much look at what it does physiologically.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And because I look at what it does physiologically, and because I it's almost like when you know too much, it's like, oh, it's like when you know cigarettes are bad, it's like the thought of smoking a cigarette would feel like to your body, same type of thing.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's that aspect of just like understanding what alcohol does to the physical body.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, to a larger extent, is that it doesn't make me feel my best.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I, the standard for my life is feeling incredible, right?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling incredible is a standard I have for my life.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a reward, it's not something I get to experience once in a while.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: It is, you know, it's not something I'm willing to sacrifice because something else is more, you know, either socially normal or there's pressure around it.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's a standard.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And because I always want to feel my best, because I, you know, physically want to feel good.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be tired.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be lethargic.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to have anxiety, you know, I don't want it to affect my day the next day.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want my brain to be foggy, you know, I want to be very present with my clients.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be able to really make like fulfill my mission to get good into the world.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm very much interested in standards that support that and support building the company and support how I want to feel in my body.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna be going into kind of like all of this in terms of, you know, why people have normalized it.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about the physical body and really what happens when you stop making decisions based on what you can get away with and start making decisions based on the life you actually want to experience.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think those are very different questions.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And because I don't like to, well, we'll we'll get into it, but that's a very different question.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, for anyone who hasn't been following me for years, some of you may know that my background is actually in health.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So before I was doing this very much chronic health symptoms, health, went to school to become a doctor.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I still very much am into health, wellness, all of those things.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I've spent, I would say decades fascinated by the human body.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I was little, I had books about the human body and anatomy.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like my favorite book growing up was like the big book of the body.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it was called.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I love seeing like the muscles, the bones, the nerve, the tissues.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: You could you could tell I was born to be a doctor, right?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: How it functions, how the nervous system interacts with our physiology, how an environment, you know, affects us.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so I very much had a lot of chronic health symptoms, which led me to spending years looking for answers, and that changed my relationship with my body.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the things that I discovered then was that alcohol did not make me feel good.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I definitely had alcohol affect me very intensely.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Even when I was in university, I probably just ignored it.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: So in university, I was very much a traditional, I would say, university student, going to pancake keggers, going out Fridays, Saturdays, shots, drinks, like the more classic, if you will.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: So this was only something I would say fourth year university and onwards is when I kind of took a step back from alcohol, and very much because it was affecting my ability to sleep, to have good energy.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I felt very sick very quickly drinking alcohol, but that's because I needed liver support.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I won't go down that whole route.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I think something that sometimes people miss when it comes to their health is that they see maybe the food, the exercise, the supplements, but they don't choose or they don't think about what they choose not to consume.
• 7:25
  unknown: Right.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And they assume maybe that it's about restriction.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And not drinking alcohol has nothing to do with restriction.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's always been about expansion, right?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: How much energy can I experience?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: How good can I feel?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: How much can I support my body?
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: How present can I be?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: How alive can I feel in my life?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm not interested in simply getting through the day.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to feel tired the next day.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to feel any of that.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of, you know, asking, can I get away with drinking alcohol and still be healthy?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's, well, does alcohol contribute to the health and vitality that I'm creating in my life?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: For me, the answer was no.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really encourage you to ask and be honest with yourself if alcohol actually adds to your life, or if alcohol is either a coping mechanism, right?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very much people think at the end of a stressful day, oh, I need a glass of wine or I need a drink.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's very present in society.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Not good.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been normalized.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Or people also do it with food, but this episode is not about emotional eating, but people do this with food as well.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where when you just look at alcohol, right, instead of you know thinking about it as what it represents culturally, looking at it for what it is.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Right, from a physiological perspective, the substance we're talking about is ethanol.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And ethanol is a psychoactive, toxic substance.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: When you consume alcohol, your body has to metabolize it, right?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Your liver has to metabolize it.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: One of the main pathways through your liver is converting ethanol into acetylaldehyde.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Acetylaldehyde is a toxic compound that damages DNA and proteins, right?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And then your body works to convert that into acetate, which can be broken down even further.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, your body has a mechanism for processing alcohol.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: But the fact that your body can process the substance doesn't make that substance beneficial.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm not looking to add to the toxic burden of my liver.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same reason why I use non-toxic beady products, non-toxic cleaning products, you know, no fragrances, things like that, because I am not looking to add burden to my liver.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is where people will be like, oh, antioxidants and red wine and this and that.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but you can put alcohol in the most beautiful bottle imaginable and give it good marketing.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is still processing alcohol.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's worth understanding.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is where a lot of people don't actually understand the toxic burden of alcohol to their body.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So they're perhaps not making an informed decision.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas something like cigarettes, I feel like people are more, they more understand the dangers of cigarettes, the ingredients that are in cigarettes, the tar, the this, the that, and how it affects the lungs and all that.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: But they don't actually understand alcohol.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so, number one, alcohol is a known human carcinogen.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like it is classified by the International Agency of Research as like a group one carcinogen.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can Google group one carcinogens, you'll see everything that's a carcinogen.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: That means that there is sufficient evidence that it can cause cancer in humans, specifically, you know, breast, colorectal, liver, and then cancers of like the mouth, throat, esophagus.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when you understand, or you're looking at the the risk, it's like I ask myself, why would I intentionally add something to my life that increases a risk that I'm actively interested in reducing or not having?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's the same question.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I think it's so powerful for everyone to genuinely ask themselves these questions.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now I think about sleep.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep is so important to me.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Getting a good night's sleep is so integral.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I can't stress to you, I would say the number one thing for your health is you need adequate restful sleep.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everything else is kind of like a downstream effect of that.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes people assume that alcohol helps them sleep because alcohol can make you feel sleepy.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Alcohol does not help with sleep.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Alcohol having a sedative effect is not the same thing as getting high quality restorative sleep.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so because alcohol actually disrupts your sleep, right?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: The architecture of your sleep, your REM sleep, and makes you feel less rested the next day.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: So people assume that you know, if they have a few drinks, they fall asleep quickly.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't actually get good sleep.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: You wake up feeling less rested, your energy isn't the same, your mood is different.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know for me and for a lot of clients, they feel more like they'll feel anxiety.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So back when I was struggling with anxiety, I don't need more, cutting out alcohol also massively helps.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I know so many clients who their nervous system feels worse with alcohol.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Their energy is affected, their creativity, their emotional regulation, their you know, ability to be present, the way their brain works.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So again, if something interferes with the quality of my sleep, why would I want to make that a regular part of my life?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like we said, the nervous system.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: I am like the nervous system queen, right?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Alcohol changes activity in your central nervous system.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: It influences different neurotransmitters that are involved in reward and mood and like your general health and how you feel.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, sure, initially alcohol can create a feeling of relaxation, right?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your inhibitions decrease, you feel less self-conscious, or you might feel more socially comfortable.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: But as the alcohol wears off, you get anxiety basically, okay, hangover anxiety.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what I find interesting is that someone might consume alcohol because they want to relax, only to actually have a rebound effect where they feel more unsettled after or more anxious the next day.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Less less calm and clear.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where like asking yourself is it making you feel temporarily relaxed versus you know supporting the baseline state?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because feeling temporarily different isn't the same as feeling genuinely better.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's also important to ask yourself from that.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right, is this just giving me a temporary relief?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Am I looking for this to soothe a bad day or a busy week or the kids doing whatever?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if we think about it long term, alcohol can also affect you know cardiovascular health, right?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Higher intake affects blood pressure.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so we know that all of these findings, right, and importantly, you don't need to drink alcohol to support your health, even though you know red wine has technically antioxidants.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's like finding the the good compounds in a cigarette to justify having a cigarette.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, nicotine can help you focus, but all right, it you're finding you're cherry picking, essentially.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: There are other ways to do that.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you really step back and you look at the totality of the evidence when it comes to, you know, sleep, nervous system health, cardiovascular health, all of the like liver health, you have to ask yourself, what game do you want to play?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because then you'll have to mitigate the effects.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right, if you're gonna be drinking, you need exponential more liver support.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, are you drinking?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: But then we're probably gonna have to cut out fragrances, all right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna be using fragrances and more toxic beauty products and drinking, then the burden on your liver is harder.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right, that's gonna affect hormones, that's gonna affect fertility.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so you just have to ask yourself, what is the game you want to play?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I do find it's so that would sound so mentally exhausting to be like, all right, if I want, I'm gonna be drinking like three or four drinks this weekend.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: All right, in order to cancel it out and mitigate it, I gotta, you know, maybe buy some activated charcoal.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: I need to drink some dandelion root tea, I need to do these things.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm gonna do that, I need to.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Do you see how like the the balancing out?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like eating healthy.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's you're like negotiating with yourself in order to have something detrimental so that you can like then try to mitigate the effects.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now I think the best and the most clearest thing is really asking yourself not how alcohol makes you feel while you're drinking it, but how do you feel after you drink it?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do you wake up energized, clear?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel your best?
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel like, yes, that is this is the highest expression of me.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: When I think about my highest self, she is drinking alcohol.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is a very real question.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said in the beginning of this episode, no judgments, but be honest with yourself.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: What do you notice about when you drink or how you feel when you drink?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And now that you know, okay, every and it it is true, every glass of alcohol or in glass of wine or every alcoholic drink does affect your body.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like some of them do and some of them don't.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: But just asking, does this make me feel my best?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think sometimes we overcomplicate standards that are actually very simple.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you know how you want to feel, certain decisions become obvious.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where you can say, you know what?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I am okay with sometimes feeling anxious.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: I am okay with waking up the next day and feeling brainvog.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And some people might hear me say that and think I'm being sarcastic.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not being sarcastic.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: I am genuinely just sit and have a conversation of like, all right, if I'm gonna do this, I will whatever how alcohol makes you feel, I will feel this way.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I am willing to feel that.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm willing to experience a lower mood, or I'm willing to be more inflamed, or I'm willing to feel buffet, or I'm willing to have brain fog, or I'm willing to feel I don't know if I said low mood, low mood, either more like weepy or depressed or anxious.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I also think that there's so many people who've confused pleasure with the things that are attached to the pleasure, right?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because alcohol can sometimes be associated with like almost every pleasurable experience.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: You think about birthdays, celebrations, romance, you know, vacation, a dinner, a wedding, you know, a Friday night.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can still you can separate the experience from the substance, right?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: So many people assume that in order to celebrate, I need to be drinking alcohol, right?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Or that wine is part of romance, or that cocktails are part of vacation, but is it?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or have you simply repeated those associations so many times that it feels inseparable?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And now I think we're luckier than ever because, like I said, I remember like 10 years ago when if I didn't drink and I went out with people, their versions of mocktail was like a fruit juice.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now we have like basically everywhere I go has beautiful mocktails made with like seed lip and they're low sugar, and so it's not just drinking fruit juice, and so there's not really any FOMO because you can still have like a something that's not water or fruit juice.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so think about you know, can you sit in an extraordinary restaurant and enjoy it without drinking?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you can't enjoy an experience without drinking, that means you're attached to the drinking, right?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Can you travel somewhere beautiful?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: Can you celebrate something?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can you get dressed up and go out?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Can you dance and laugh and enjoy and have an incredible time and realize that the pleasure is never necessarily in the alcohol?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: The pleasure is in the people, in the atmosphere, in the conversation, in the music, whatever it is that you're going.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's worth questioning, right?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: How many things you've become convinced that you need in order to experience something that might already be available to you.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't experience not drinking as missing out, I experience it as actually being fully available for the things I enjoy.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I get the beautiful evening and I get to wake up feeling incredible the next morning.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's a to me a pretty extraordinary combination.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm gonna touch on kind of probably one of the more last things about this, which is that when people assume or they they think about it as deprivation, I'm not denying myself something.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not because I'm disciplined or, you know, that I'm trying to miss out on life.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I can see why it might be perceived that way, because if alcohol is something you really enjoy, then choosing not to drink feels like giving something up.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't experience it that way.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: So the reframe I'm gonna offer you is well, what if drinking is what would feel like giving something up?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's well, what if the thing I value more is waking up clear?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: What if I value my sleep?
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: What if I value feeling amazing?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: What if I value being regulated?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then it doesn't feel restrictive.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like, well, I'm I'm protecting my body and protecting something I Love.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's such a different relationship with something.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think so many people are trying to force themselves into behaviors that they think they should want.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: They should exercise, they should eat well, they should sleep more, they should take care of themselves.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then everything becomes this enormous battle of willpower.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: But when you genuinely value the outcome, your relationship with the behavior changes.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're not simply avoiding something that you know is bad for you.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're choosing something that you love more.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to force myself not to drink.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to sit at dinner desperately whining or wishing that I had a glass of wine.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not something I desire, because I desire how I feel without it more.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a very different place to come from.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is kind of where there's a difference between rules and standards.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: A rule is like, well, I'm not allowed to do that, or I'm not allowed to have that, or I'm not allowed to have a drink.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: The standards is just that's not how I choose to live.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: A rule feels like something's being imposed on you.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: But a standard is something that you have chosen because it supports the life that you want.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is one of the reasons people can struggle so much with this, is that they're trying to force themselves to follow a rule that they actually haven't decided to live by.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: So then every time the opportunity comes up, they have to make a decision again.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And this eats up capacity, right?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Should I, shouldn't I?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe just this one, oh, maybe this one drink.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'll start again on Monday.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And there's this constant negotiation.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: But when something becomes very much a standard, there's no negotiation.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you're incapable of making exceptions and not because you're rigid, but because you've just decided what matters to you.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then you don't have to keep making a decision you've already made.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: For me, not drinking is one of those decisions.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: May I have a sip of champagne on New Year's or in a celebration?
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking like two sips.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I don't like the word it's over.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I cannot run, like, I don't drink a drink.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I wouldn't want to, I probably get completely drunk off of like half a glass of wine at this point.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just how I live.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the conversation becomes really interesting.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I think about that, right, I think about the woman who's creating and holding the level of business and impact that I want.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: I just think, what does her life look like?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: What is her energy?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: How does she make decisions?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: What does she value?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: What does she prioritize?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: And how does she take care of herself?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's something like that simple.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to really think about this.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: What is what is this making you think about?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is really about knowing yourself well enough to understand what supports your highest expression.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Without making one bad or wrong.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, there is no, I mean, arguably, there is bad or wrong, but I am very much a proponent of you have to be willing to take the consequences.
• 25:10
  unknown: Right.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I take my health seriously, I prioritize sleep, it's moving my body, it's, you know, being discerning what what I consume is taking care of my system.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's, you know, being present with the people I love.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's choosing not to drink.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are 1000% incredibly successful people who drink alcohol.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the point.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: The point is that I know what supports the version of me and how I want to feel in my body and in my life.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about your highest version.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: And whether she either drinks or not, how much she drinks.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: There was a concept I created back in the day when I was doing more health coaching with my clients, which was it's called conscious cocktails.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so you just become you're more conscious of it.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes people, the your default is to pour a glass of wine at the end of the day, or it's Friday, or it's Saturday, so we're drinking.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you remove, there's no consciousness of it.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes like a habit.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's just something you do.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Versus conscious cocktails is very much consciously asking yourself, interrupting yourself before having multiple drinks, or thinking about, you know, all right, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna have a drink, or I'm gonna have water between drinks, whatever it is, but you're at least making the thought process more conscious.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so that also supports you, right?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the standards that support that, right?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to feel amazing in your body, what are the standards that support that?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so if it is, you're you are going to be drinking.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, all right, we got to do some liver support.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: We've probably got to mitigate that.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we're probably gonna want to cut down on the burden we give our liver on these things.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we're gonna do these things.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: And there's no shame, right?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: But then, all right, I'm willing to feel this way the next day.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to not be as sharp.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you can make a decision like that, it becomes very different.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes people around you might question it, like, right, why don't you drink?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can't just have one, not even for a celebration, and then you feel like maybe you need to defend your choice or explain it or justify it.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I would also see if you can go out and enjoy people and celebrate without needing something.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: Notice where there's like a need or where you're using it to soothe.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: So this is why I don't drink.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something, you know, revolutionary.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's not because I have something bad happened one time with alcohol.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: But it's as simple as it does not foster my highest self.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is where I really want to bring it back to you.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe you drink, maybe you don't, maybe you have a glass of wine a month or a glass of wine a week, maybe you have no interest in changing your relationship with alcohol.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I want you to look at the bigger conversation is where you repeatedly negotiating maybe with something that you already know doesn't support how you want to feel.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's alcohol, though.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: It could also be something else.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: It could be like scrolling your phone when you know you should be getting a good night's sleep.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: It could be overworking, it could be not feeding your body the way you should.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a whole host of other things.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: But would what do you know to be true?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: And really thinking about the standards that you want to set for yourself and where you want to go.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: And really seeing alcohol as something much bigger than alcohol, which is just how you want to feel.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: So that is this week's episode.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you guys in the next one.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Do not forget that you can always leave a rating and review of the show and receive live cash.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so all the instructions for that are always in the description box.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you in the next episode.