Latest / Becoming Anchored / Becoming Anchored S1E3: The Nuances of Being a Mom and Working Full-time

Transcript

Becoming Anchored S1E3: The Nuances of Being a Mom and Working Full-time · Becoming Anchored

• 0:00
  Hey everyone.
• 0:00
  Welcome back to the Becoming Anchored podcast.
• 0:04
  We're so glad you're here with us for episode three.
• 0:06
  So I'm Lauren Jackson, and I am Laura Deneen.
• 0:11
  Yeah, we're two therapists in the greater Nashville area.
• 0:14
  We're located in Brentwood, Tennessee.
• 0:16
  We're a small group private practice in kind of the heart of Brentwood.
• 0:21
  We specialize in working with eating disorders, grief, life
• 0:27
  transition, trauma, depression, anxiety anyone through the lifespan.
• 0:33
  We love the work that we do, and we really had this like dream to.
• 0:39
  To expand our reach, if you will.
• 0:42
  And so we decided to create this podcast, so we're so glad you are on this journey
• 0:48
  with us.
• 0:50
  Yeah.
• 0:50
  And echoing Lauren, the purpose of this podcast, first and foremost,
• 0:54
  it's for us to be human with y'all and to share about our.
• 0:58
  Humanity.
• 0:59
  And so that means our lived experiences.
• 1:02
  We're gonna be talking about all sorts of things here from navigating
• 1:06
  friendships in adulthood, to body image, to diet culture, to managing depression.
• 1:10
  And so we're here for all of it, and we're just here to ride the
• 1:13
  ways of life together with y'all.
• 1:15
  In every episode, we're gonna be sharing both from our lived experiences.
• 1:20
  And our experiences as therapists.
• 1:22
  We're gonna be giving y'all a homework assignment after each episode along
• 1:26
  with an affirmation to take with you
• 1:30
  in a quick disclaimer.
• 1:31
  This is not intended to be therapy or to replace any kind of therapy
• 1:37
  from a licensed professional.
• 1:39
  So if you're finding that as you engage and listen to our content
• 1:42
  that you could benefit from therapy.
• 1:45
  Please either reach out to us.
• 1:47
  If you're local, we would love to connect with you or find someone local
• 1:50
  to you who's licensed and who can.
• 1:53
  Walk through therapy with you.
• 1:55
  So yeah, welcome to episode three.
• 1:57
  Here we go.
• 2:14
  Okay, so today we are gonna be talking about the nuances of being
• 2:19
  a mom and also working full time.
• 2:23
  So Lauren and I thought this topic was especially pertinent to us
• 2:27
  because we both work full-time.
• 2:30
  Lauren has so many different hats at Anchored counseling.
• 2:34
  She sees clients, she supervises the team, she does office
• 2:37
  manager stuff, and it's a lot.
• 2:39
  And I own the company.
• 2:41
  And so I'm more in the big picture Lauren's more in the nitty-gritty.
• 2:45
  But we both are full-time working moms.
• 2:48
  I have a little girl at home, she just turned 15 months.
• 2:51
  I cannot believe it.
• 2:52
  And Lauren has a little boy at home, and so we get it on a deep level.
• 2:58
  And I just am here to say that I don't have all the answers.
• 3:02
  I know Lauren doesn't have all the answers either, but I.
• 3:06
  It's a lot.
• 3:06
  Whether you work full-time or whether you're a stay-at-Home Mom, we honor both
• 3:11
  walks of life, but working full-time does add some kind of trickiness to I think
• 3:19
  someone's, especially a schedule, like your schedule as a full-time working mom.
• 3:23
  So yeah, we just wanted to talk about that.
• 3:26
  So yeah, we, we just wanted to talk about some of the things that.
• 3:29
  Maybe we face on a daily basis.
• 3:32
  So I know for me, I frequently feel pulled in many directions.
• 3:39
  I am very much a dreamer and a go-getter.
• 3:41
  And so I can have this big business idea and wanna do all the things, but
• 3:46
  at the same time, wanna spend this precious quality time with my daughter.
• 3:50
  And so.
• 3:51
  I've never before felt pulled in so many different directions both as a
• 3:56
  boss, as an employer, and as a mother.
• 3:59
  And that can be one thing that's really tricky for me to navigate
• 4:03
  is doing both well, right?
• 4:06
  Being present for my job at Anchored and being present for my little girl.
• 4:11
  I can find myself at night wanting to zone out close to her bedtime.
• 4:16
  And it's not because I don't love her, it's not because I don't care
• 4:18
  for her, but I'm kind of at my, my emotional capacity for the day.
• 4:23
  So I, yeah, being pulled in a lot of different directions is something that I
• 4:28
  have noticed recently owning this business and then also caring for Maryanne.
• 4:33
  Laura, I'm curious with that noticing, what do you do?
• 4:37
  Like, what, what do you, what do you do that's like unhealthy and
• 4:42
  then what, what do you try and do that is like a healthy thing?
• 4:46
  Oh
• 4:46
  my gosh.
• 4:47
  So we're just getting straight to it.
• 4:50
  So there are times when we all want to scroll, right?
• 4:55
  Like it, there is something about it.
• 4:58
  I mean, first of all, it releases.
• 4:59
  It's an, it's a known.
• 5:00
  Dopamine agent, right?
• 5:02
  So it does release dopamine.
• 5:04
  And so yeah, I mean, I, I guess the unhealthy mechanism of action, if
• 5:09
  you will, is like, I get home, I lay on the couch, maybe I don't express
• 5:13
  that need to my husband Sean, and then I'm just scrolling and I look up
• 5:18
  and like 30 minutes has passed and.
• 5:21
  My daughter like goes to bed pretty early every night.
• 5:24
  And so then I'm like, oh gosh, I wish I had spent time with her.
• 5:27
  And I'm not say saying, there's never a place for scrolling, right?
• 5:30
  Like, I think we can be really intentional with our phones and if we really
• 5:33
  need that, we can set aside 15, 20, twenty-five minutes, whatever you need.
• 5:37
  So that would be an unhealthy.
• 5:39
  Kind of way that I manage that.
• 5:41
  Maybe a healthier way for me to do that if I'm really at my capacity
• 5:45
  and I get home would be me putting words to that with Sean of like, Hey
• 5:49
  honey, I need to go in the bedroom.
• 5:51
  I've had a really hard day.
• 5:52
  Yeah, I just need, I need a break and then I can recalibrate and then
• 5:56
  come back out to eat dinner with him.
• 5:58
  Yes.
• 6:00
  So yeah, I mean, healthy.
• 6:01
  I listen to music on the way home.
• 6:04
  I love listening to podcasts on the way home.
• 6:07
  Sometimes I'll literally just sit in silence in the car and there's
• 6:10
  something so beautiful about that.
• 6:12
  And you and I connect at the end of the day.
• 6:13
  I know that, you know this Lauren, but I, I think talking to people that support
• 6:17
  you and are in your corner and that if you need spaced event or like get emotional
• 6:22
  validation, there's room for that too.
• 6:23
  So sometimes I'll call my best friend and.
• 6:26
  I just have space for just all of my emotions that I had throughout
• 6:30
  the day or anything hard.
• 6:31
  So that would be probably a healthier way for me to connect and work through
• 6:34
  those emotions before I get home.
• 6:37
  But yeah, the art of noticing, I mean, I have therapy later this afternoon,
• 6:40
  like, so even this morning I woke up and I was like, oh, what am I
• 6:44
  gonna talk to my therapist about?
• 6:45
  And that came up of just like feeling pulled in a lot of
• 6:48
  different directions and.
• 6:50
  Yeah, I've, I've, I have been noticing that.
• 6:52
  And so how can I really be intentional with my time and
• 6:55
  be thoughtful with my time?
• 6:57
  And I wanna give to all these different people, and I'm a recovering
• 7:02
  perfectionist, so like, it's not gonna go perfectly, but there's this part
• 7:05
  of me that wants it to go perfectly.
• 7:07
  Yeah.
• 7:07
  Yeah.
• 7:08
  So I know I said a lot of different things there.
• 7:09
  Yeah.
• 7:10
  But that's,
• 7:10
  yeah.
• 7:11
  Yeah.
• 7:11
  I love all of that.
• 7:13
  Some thoughts that were coming up for me as you were talking, so again, yeah.
• 7:18
  Circling back around to this idea of working mom, being a working mom.
• 7:24
  And if you're a stay-at-Home Mom, you're a working mom.
• 7:26
  Like, let's not, oh my gosh, yes.
• 7:27
  Forget about that.
• 7:29
  Right.
• 7:30
  I am in the office three days a week for eight to 10 hours, and then
• 7:35
  Mondays and Fridays, I am at home kind of working, running errands, so.
• 7:41
  I, and I love it 'cause I kind of get the, the, a little bit of both worlds, like
• 7:45
  really being engaged to the office and with staff and then also getting to be at
• 7:50
  home and doing at-home kind of mom things, you know, still during the work week.
• 7:55
  So that just feels, that feels like a really important balance for me.
• 8:00
  But anyways coming back to some of the things I noticed when
• 8:05
  you were chatting Laura, about.
• 8:08
  So the health and unhealth that you, that you find when you're balancing
• 8:16
  the work life piece with, with home life is the, the unhealth that I
• 8:22
  think we can all find ourselves falling into is avoidance and shame.
• 8:28
  Those two, those two things come to mind.
• 8:31
  And regardless of where you're at in the, in.
• 8:34
  Part-time, full-time.
• 8:35
  Stay-at-Home, single mom, whatever it is.
• 8:40
  Maybe you're an aunt that is a caregiver for a niece or nephew.
• 8:43
  What, so this is, this can be really broad too.
• 8:47
  I think when we, when we start to get overwhelmed, when we maybe start
• 8:50
  to feel burnt out when we've had a long emotional day, our tendency can,
• 8:55
  can be towards avoidance, I think.
• 8:58
  Anytime humans are uncomfortable, they avoid, I think that's just human nature.
• 9:03
  And then when we avoid something, we feel like we sh like should be like,
• 9:07
  I should be doing more or I should have enough energy to play with my
• 9:14
  sweet boy when I get home and I'm not, then I go to a place of shame.
• 9:18
  And so that feels like a pretty common cycle.
• 9:22
  Yes.
• 9:22
  Yeah.
• 9:22
  And so I just love the countering that with noticing, that I feel like
• 9:27
  that is such fundamental work that I'm doing with all of my clients that
• 9:31
  I'm doing in my own therapy work is can I, can I, can I notice when those
• 9:36
  dysfunctional patterns are happening?
• 9:38
  And then figure out what like the real need is.
• 9:43
  And noticing helps us to have awareness around, am I getting burnt out?
• 9:49
  Does something actually need a change?
• 9:52
  Do, do I need to ask for help?
• 9:53
  Do I need to set a boundary?
• 9:54
  Do I need, right?
• 9:55
  And so shame always gets in the way of us being able to notice something
• 10:00
  healthy or, or informational.
• 10:02
  So yeah, just that, that we're noticing felt significant to me as a, as a, an
• 10:10
  antidote to avoidance and shame, which speaks to this working mom life balance
• 10:19
  with home and whatever, but also.
• 10:21
  So many other things that we could get into on different episodes.
• 10:26
  So yeah.
• 10:27
  Oh my gosh, yes.
• 10:28
  And thank you for validating that.
• 10:30
  Yeah, I can frequently go to a place of shame and I think most perfectionists
• 10:35
  can at some point in their, you know, in their perfectionism or as
• 10:40
  they've started to work through their perfectionism and yeah, the noticing.
• 10:45
  You know, in my own individual therapy, just that art, like you're talking about,
• 10:49
  allows for space for curiosity versus the harshness that can be so tied to.
• 10:57
  To shame.
• 10:58
  So I love, I love that, that space and, and it takes intention to slow down and
• 11:03
  notice and to be present with yourself so that we can make different choices.
• 11:09
  And you know this, right?
• 11:10
  But over the past year, I, I have gotten to a place where I've had to delegate
• 11:15
  more and delegating and asking for help.
• 11:18
  And noticing that, okay, I was in a place of burnout, resisting shame
• 11:23
  even around that so that I can move forward in running the business.
• 11:26
  Well, and you know, this Lauren, but I would say the business is running better
• 11:30
  than it ever has because I've delegated and because I've asked for more help.
• 11:34
  And so that can be something too in my own journey where I have wanted to like
• 11:38
  do it all and be it all to everyone.
• 11:40
  And I think becoming a mom.
• 11:43
  And wanting to still do things well from the business side has really allowed me
• 11:48
  the opportunity to ask for more help.
• 11:50
  And that has been so freeing for me in a way that I've never been
• 11:54
  challenged to ask for help, right?
• 11:56
  Like, and so that's pushed me to ask for help, and it's been really sweet
• 12:01
  for me to see other people step up like you, other people in my life that are
• 12:07
  amazing and skilled at what they do.
• 12:09
  And this idea that I don't have to do it all by myself all the time.
• 12:14
  Yeah.
• 12:14
  Well, and you're noticing helped you maybe to realize, oh, I, I
• 12:23
  maybe have a hard time asking for help, and I have this internal
• 12:26
  expectation that I can do it all and.
• 12:29
  Maybe that is actually getting in my way and so I'm gonna challenge
• 12:32
  myself to practice asking for help.
• 12:35
  'cause that's an area maybe of growth for me.
• 12:37
  So, so the noticing like helps you to, to have, to gather that information.
• 12:43
  Whereas the, again, the shame of what's wrong with me, I, why can't I do this?
• 12:47
  I don't have enough energy to do this.
• 12:49
  Gets in the way of you being able to like gather that really.
• 12:53
  Amazing, beautiful, helpful information.
• 12:55
  As challenging as it is, we're not saying that.
• 12:57
  Then yes, you get to that, having that information, it
• 12:59
  makes everything better and easy.
• 13:01
  No, it doesn't.
• 13:02
  But it's, it certainly is in the long run, like I don't know the word I wanna use.
• 13:10
  Good for, for lack of a better word.
• 13:12
  I don't know.
• 13:13
  Yeah.
• 13:14
  Well, I think too, just to tag along with what you're saying, it's
• 13:16
  like more fulfilling, you know?
• 13:19
  Mm-Hmm.
• 13:19
  Because then I can do other things.
• 13:22
  Well, I can show up for my family of origin, my husband, my baby girl, in
• 13:26
  a way that is in line with my values.
• 13:29
  And I know you and I talk about living.
• 13:31
  According to our values, whether it's ourselves or helping our clients
• 13:35
  identify and then live according to their values, it allows me to do that.
• 13:39
  Mm-Hmm.
• 13:39
  But yeah, I mean, the first kind of point that we're talking about, this
• 13:42
  idea of noticing, but in order to notice we also have to set boundaries, right?
• 13:47
  So really I think that that is something that I so admire in you.
• 13:54
  Just really preserving that family time as sacred.
• 13:58
  I know you've, you've taught me so much about that and I think
• 14:02
  there's such rich value in that.
• 14:05
  And it's kind of an art too, right?
• 14:07
  Where sometimes we're gonna set a boundary where we wanna be home
• 14:11
  earlier, maybe sometimes we stretch and we work a little bit later in
• 14:14
  order to take the next day off.
• 14:15
  But really honing in on, I think, what our boundaries are as working mothers can be.
• 14:22
  Yeah.
• 14:23
  Just so life.
• 14:24
  So I, I feel like I've learned a lot from you in that regard of just preserving
• 14:29
  that precious time with your, with your little boy so that you can show up well at
• 14:34
  the office.
• 14:36
  Yeah, yeah.
• 14:37
  I'm not perfect at it by any means.
• 14:41
  And being a mom, which is what we're talking about, and then
• 14:47
  the working part of it too.
• 14:49
  I'm a, I'm a, I guess you could say a first time mom.
• 14:51
  I mean, we both are, right?
• 14:52
  These are our first babies.
• 14:53
  And anybody who's listening to this, whether you're a mom to a biological
• 14:57
  child or not, it changes you.
• 15:00
  Like it, it truly, it does on like a very like, visceral, spiritual
• 15:06
  level, like completely changes you.
• 15:09
  And so, you know, it gives you, I, I think it gives you more capacity to,
• 15:15
  to love and to to care for, and I think that's one of our superpowers as moms.
• 15:21
  And so figuring out, and so yeah, figuring out how to make time to do that well.
• 15:27
  While doing the other things that we love, that feel life-giving, like maybe working
• 15:31
  or whatever that is for you is kind of.
• 15:37
  Integral, like it's really important to do.
• 15:40
  I thought it is interesting.
• 15:41
  I thought when I, so when I found out I was pregnant with my son, Elwin,
• 15:47
  which that's a family name by the way.
• 15:49
  Every time we tell people what his name is, they're like, oh, that is so cool.
• 15:52
  I've never heard that name.
• 15:54
  But yeah, when I found out I was pregnant with him, I.
• 15:58
  I wasn't gonna be like super surprised if after like having him and then kind
• 16:05
  of going through my maternity leave that I maybe wouldn't wanna, like EI
• 16:09
  either wouldn't wanna work anymore or I would wanna work like way less.
• 16:12
  And it's so interesting how, just like what I've learned about myself in this
• 16:17
  whole process that I actually, I don't know if I would say, well, maybe I am
• 16:21
  working more than I did before I had him.
• 16:22
  I'm definitely working differently.
• 16:24
  But I.
• 16:26
  Love it so much, and I can't even imagine not having this work.
• 16:34
  It like it, it helps balance me and I know that, that everybody's
• 16:38
  story around that is different.
• 16:39
  And so I think that's part of the noticing that has been important for me in this
• 16:43
  journey of becoming a mom and then getting back into the workplace and, and whatnot.
• 16:49
  Is, is, is.
• 16:52
  Realizing what, what my values are around family, around work,
• 16:58
  and how those can like be aligned.
• 17:04
  And then the balance of that every day is like a, a new adventure every single day.
• 17:11
  It feels like Thanks
• 17:12
  for sharing.
• 17:12
  And I completely agree and that is my story too.
• 17:16
  I love this work and Lauren is being very humble, you guys,
• 17:20
  but she's amazing at her work.
• 17:22
  And the cool thing about our positions is we get to dabble in a lot of different
• 17:25
  things where we see clients and we manage and we supervise and you know,
• 17:29
  I market and all these things that are, are life-giving for both of us.
• 17:34
  And if that's not your story, that's okay.
• 17:35
  I have a friend from college who just had her.
• 17:38
  Fifth baby, and she's killing it.
• 17:40
  And she just is an amazing mom and she loves being a stay-at-home mom.
• 17:44
  And so we just want to definitely validate that if that's your story.
• 17:49
  That's so completely okay.
• 17:50
  And just to kind of tag along with what Lauren's saying, I think I find myself
• 17:54
  frequently in a space where when I'm at work, I sometimes miss Marianne,
• 17:59
  and then when I'm at home, I'm like, I wanna be at work and I can find myself.
• 18:05
  Like being kind of back to that, what we were first saying, like being pulled
• 18:08
  in a lot of these different directions.
• 18:10
  I have to really challenge myself to be present where I am, right?
• 18:14
  So when I'm with my daughter, I can have urges to wanna check my
• 18:18
  email or to wanna do something for advertising or marketing the business.
• 18:23
  And the reality is I'm not fully present if I'm doing those things.
• 18:28
  Or if I'm here, sometimes I do miss her and coping with that emotion
• 18:32
  of sadness or maybe feeling some of that mom guilt is, is very real.
• 18:36
  And so really identifying what the need is there.
• 18:38
  Do I need to cut back on my hours or, you know, do I.
• 18:42
  Need to be more intentional about spending one-on-one time with her.
• 18:45
  What need is there when I'm feeling that emotion is, is really helpful for me.
• 18:50
  But yeah, that, that swing of like, okay, I wanna be at work or I wanna be home.
• 18:54
  That's, I very much experienced that.
• 18:56
  Yeah, pretty frequently.
• 18:57
  Yeah.
• 18:58
  Yeah,
• 18:58
  totally.
• 19:00
  And then too, I mean, I feel like one of the things that's been so.
• 19:04
  Cool in my marriage is just like really looking at the gender roles.
• 19:08
  So those of you that know me that are listening to this podcast
• 19:11
  know that I love good food and I also am not the greatest cook.
• 19:16
  And so one of the things that's been really life-giving in terms of being
• 19:20
  a full-time mom, is my husband and I really having a conversation around him.
• 19:26
  Really getting home earlier and starting dinner.
• 19:28
  And that's been so freeing for me.
• 19:31
  And I usually do the dishes, but he cooks our meals most of the time.
• 19:34
  And just permission to be in that spot versus like, I'm the wife
• 19:38
  and I should be cooking a hundred percent homemade meals all the time.
• 19:43
  Like last night we had a pizza and salad for dinner and it was from
• 19:47
  Trader Joe's and it was amazing.
• 19:48
  But you know, it's pizza's on a Tuesday night, and that's just like, permission
• 19:52
  I think has been really, really helpful for me as a full-time working mom.
• 19:56
  And really re-evaluating some of those gender roles I think
• 19:59
  in, in my marriage has been
• 20:00
  helpful.
• 20:03
  And recognizing too that maybe there's some, some individuals
• 20:09
  or, you know, folks listening who aren't, aren't married and have kids.
• 20:13
  Totally.
• 20:14
  And that adds a whole nother element of.
• 20:18
  Working mom work-life balance that I don't have experience with,
• 20:26
  like, I can't necessarily speak to my own experience around that.
• 20:29
  I have, like Laura, the privilege of being able to navigate balancing
• 20:35
  work and life with, with my partner, with my husband, and mm-Hmm.
• 20:39
  I think one of the things that is important for me to do is to.
• 20:43
  Be mindful of my gratitude in that and, and allow that to, to like aid
• 20:54
  in me noticing and knowing what I need and asking for help and paying
• 21:03
  attention to this dysfunctional thing and doing the healthy thing instead.
• 21:07
  And so.
• 21:09
  Just to name that and to recognize that for any of you guys out there who
• 21:12
  are listening who, who have a, have a really different experience than
• 21:17
  where Laura and I maybe are coming
• 21:19
  from right now.
• 21:21
  Yeah, and I appreciate you like pointing that out, Lauren.
• 21:24
  I think, yeah.
• 21:25
  I mean, we do have so many privileges.
• 21:28
  And even the ability to set our schedules, like we recognize
• 21:31
  those and that's not lost on us.
• 21:34
  And there's probably some that we don't even recognize.
• 21:36
  So, you know, there's, there's so much even in this episode that we
• 21:40
  probably haven't even begun to cover.
• 21:43
  And so we absolutely recognize that and, and wanna name that.
• 21:48
  Yeah.
• 21:48
  So I appreciate you bringing light to that
• 21:50
  Lauren.
• 21:50
  Yeah.
• 21:51
  Yeah.
• 21:51
  And these, you know, these conversations that Laura and I have that we're
• 21:55
  having here are really like.
• 21:57
  Meant to like, help start the conversation and helps like kind of spark the
• 22:03
  curiosity for, for you guys and for us.
• 22:05
  'cause that's really ultimately what we're doing with our clients as well.
• 22:09
  So you know, we, we say that we're, we're always becoming right, becoming anchored.
• 22:14
  We're we, there's not a destination where there's not this like a rival
• 22:18
  point where we're becoming, we're always becoming, we're always in process.
• 22:23
  So, so, yeah, hopefully this has sparked some, some curiosity in you
• 22:28
  to, to start noticing a little bit more around your working mom life, if you
• 22:34
  will.
• 22:34
  Yeah.
• 22:36
  Yeah.
• 22:36
  And like Lauren said, it's just kind of the tip of the iceberg, right?
• 22:39
  Yeah.
• 22:39
  And just that like, okay, here's a thought for you to marinate on,
• 22:45
  or an idea for you to kind of.
• 22:47
  Look at from different perspectives and you take what is what you see
• 22:52
  as valuable or as important to your life and you leave the rest.
• 22:55
  And that's what we encourage with our clients as well.
• 22:57
  So Lauren's actually got some homework for you guys as well just to maybe think about
• 23:02
  after this.
• 23:03
  Yeah.
• 23:03
  Recording.
• 23:08
  So a couple of thoughts.
• 23:11
  For you to, practical thoughts for you to take away with you.
• 23:14
  So developing a inner self-compassion voice is always kind of foundational
• 23:23
  to any internal work we do.
• 23:27
  And so we wanted to encourage you guys to practice compassion around.
• 23:34
  Your working motherhood because we live in a culture that says you can do it
• 23:40
  all and you should be able to do it all.
• 23:42
  And I'm here to tell you that you can't and you are never meant to do it all.
• 23:47
  And so have compassion for yourself around that.
• 23:50
  So that can look like.
• 23:53
  Paying attention to your internal dialogue and practicing reframing that, that can
• 23:57
  look like writing down your internal dialogue and reframing some thoughts
• 24:02
  that are critical to more compassionate, that can look like having some dialogue
• 24:07
  with a friend of like, Hey, here are these critical thoughts I'm having.
• 24:09
  Can you help me reframe them?
• 24:11
  There are a few different, you know, ways that you guys can.
• 24:14
  Practice Self-compassion.
• 24:16
  There's a really amazing book called Self-Compassion that I, I recommend to
• 24:21
  everybody all the time, everywhere I go.
• 24:24
  So it's, yeah, it's literally called Self-Compassion.
• 24:27
  It's by Kristin Neff.
• 24:28
  So that's homework.
• 24:30
  Homework.
• 24:30
  Part A, part B is to find.
• 24:34
  Find if you don't already have a support system of kind of like-minded people,
• 24:39
  maybe in a similar season or boat as you try and connect with, with some people
• 24:47
  that, that can relate and empathize.
• 24:51
  Because we do best and heal best in relationship and in community.
• 24:57
  And then of course, notice, right?
• 24:59
  So.
• 25:00
  Practice noticing, practice, noticing what you need, what you're feeling,
• 25:04
  how you can get those needs met around balancing work and home and motherhood.
• 25:15
  I love all of it.
• 25:16
  And then I'm just gonna leave y'all with an affirmation.
• 25:19
  So this was not planned, this is kind of on the fly, but based on what we
• 25:22
  talked about, just this idea of I give myself permission to show up imperfectly.
• 25:28
  So it's two-fold, right?
• 25:30
  It's both the permission piece and showing up imperfectly.
• 25:33
  And like Lauren said, we can't do it all.
• 25:35
  So I think that.
• 25:36
  It's just helpful for that and asking for help and all the things
• 25:39
  that we covered in today's episode.
• 25:40
  So I give myself permission to show up imperfectly, and I'm gonna
• 25:43
  take that with me today as well.
• 25:45
  So thanks for being here today on the Becoming Anchored podcast.
• 25:48
  We're so glad to have y'all.
• 25:50
  See you next time.
• 25:51
  Bye guys.