Latest / Callum Walker | Figuring It Out / #74: The Hidden Triggers Behind Coaching Burnout & Anxiety (And the Simple Fixes You’re Avoiding)

Transcript

#74: The Hidden Triggers Behind Coaching Burnout & Anxiety (And the Simple Fixes You’re Avoiding) · Callum Walker | Figuring It Out

• 0:03
  Callum Walker: If fear is the only thing stopping us from achieving our dreams and we only fear what we don't understand, then the antidote to fear is knowledge. All we have to do is find out who has the knowledge that we need to conquer our fears and achieve our entrepreneurial dreams. My name is Callum Walker, and welcome to the podcast that will help you figure it out and conquer this lonely entrepreneurial journey. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast. I've got something so important to you.
• 0:35
  Genuinely, do know what I'm gonna say? I'm gonna say this is the most important episode I've ever recorded. Why is that? It's a big promise to start off with. Well, it's really gonna be about how you can consciously guard what is coming into your mind.
• 0:49
  Now, again, that can sound a little bit, like, confusing. But what the fuck have you just said there, Callum? If we kinda look at positive thinking, yeah, That in order for us to have success with our business, we need to think positively. We need to think constructively because if I'm constantly thinking negative or more importantly, destructive thoughts, I'm going to, you know, experience negative actions or destructive actions. So in the sense of the, let's say I'm constantly thinking of I've got no clients.
• 1:23
  I've got no clients. I've got no clients. Well, again, the way in which the mind works is very much centered around your wish is my command. So you will then believe that you have no clients, which then means you will then take actions that are in line with no clients, because you'll probably be thinking, got no clients, I've got no clients because everyone keeps rejecting me. Everyone keeps rejecting me.
• 1:46
  So if I'm constantly holding into this thought pattern of I'm constantly getting rejected, I'm constantly getting rejected, I'm constantly getting rejected. I eventually believe I'm getting rejected. No one wants to be rejected because that results in a lot of pain. So therefore I will take actions to avoid the rejection, which then means I have no clients. Does that make sense?
• 2:10
  So what I'm going to help you with today is how, how you can overcome that. And also I'm going to share with you what I'm currently doing and what I've done today specifically, that will really, really, help you get better at really kind of like controlling your mood. And that does two things for you. One, it will keep you in more of a positive space. So naturally, you can then take more constructive, positive actions.
• 2:39
  But then secondly, and much more importantly, it'll make this game so much more fun. It'll make it so much more fun. Because when you're not believing that you're a bag of shit and this is a waste of time, it's actually much more of a fun and enjoyable game. And you remember why you actually decide to do this ridiculous thing called running a business. So, again, like, you know, I've just come back from Sri Lanka.
• 3:06
  I think I've been back just over a week now. And I really, really did connect with a lot of the Buddhist teachings. And it's really interesting because they basically talk about when you're experiencing pain, when you're experiencing a negative situation, it's not about burying your head in the sand and hoping that this negative situation, hoping that this, this pain will go away. That is not the way in which we overcome the pain. The way in which we overcome the pain is by recognizing there's some fucking pain here.
• 3:40
  There's a problem. There is a problem, but what I need to do is address what's causing this problem. What is happening right now that is causing this problem? And they basically refer to these things called nutrients. K?
• 3:58
  So, basically, let's more modernly call it nutrients. K? So effectively, what they're saying is what are you feeding yourself? Because whatever you're feeding yourself or whatever you're exposing yourself to is going to drive your thoughts and your behavior. So when you are experiencing something negative, okay, so let's say you get in a negative headspace yesterday.
• 4:28
  Yeah. Yesterday morning, I woke up and I was in a very, very negative headspace. Okay, very negative headspace. And when I was in that headspace, the first thing I need to do is first we'll get to a place of stillness. So just take a breath.
• 4:45
  And then just begin to calmly ask myself, what could have potentially caused this negativity? What could have caused this pain? And they basically refer to, like, four key things, but I'm just gonna talk about two today. Being first of all, what have you legitimately ingested? K?
• 5:08
  Or what have you not ingested, so to speak? So that's why we're really looking at your physiology. Yeah? So if I look at yesterday, I'd woken up in a very, very negative headspace, but I was you know, in that voice is so loud. And it's just like I remember literally walking around going, why is my mind so nasty to me?
• 5:28
  Like, why? I don't understand. Why is my mind being so horrible? Like, I don't want these thoughts. These thoughts aren't even true.
• 5:35
  Like, why have I got these things? If you ever experienced that, like, you're not alone. But then and I think this just comes through more and more time and just more and more of a relationship with yourself that I knew the only reason I'm in this negative space is because I didn't sleep very well. It was really hot and I didn't sleep particularly well. Now that does a couple of things.
• 6:02
  First of all, it kind of neutralizes it. So it takes the sting out of it where it's like, you when I've got these thoughts telling me, oh, you're bag of shit, you're not very good, your business is blah, blah, blah. It just takes the sting out of it. So I can go, you're only there because I'm tired. Okay?
• 6:18
  This is just amygdala in overdrive. That's all it is. K? And your amygdala is just the the fear center. That's all this is.
• 6:26
  K? So that just kinda calms in. But then also knowing that the problem with sleep deprivation, I then know like, okay, right, the following day. K, or for the rest of the day, what can I do to improve the quality of my sleep? So it's like today, I woke up.
• 6:42
  And first thing I did, I got straight out of the house and I went for a walk. K? If you wanna improve your sleep,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: that is probably one of
• 6:48
  Callum Walker: the best things that you can do because immediately I'm exposing myself to light. That's gonna increase serotonin, one that makes me feel better. That will then help produce the melatonin later on in the evening, but then also it helps with circadian rhythm. Yeah? So the point is that I didn't wake up as negative today.
• 7:05
  And especially today throughout the morning, it's it's what? It's about quarter to twelve right now. I've just looked at my wrist and realized I don't have a watch. Anyway, it's quarter to twelve, and I've been in such a positive state. I slept much better yesterday.
• 7:19
  I didn't really consume any caffeine yesterday. I spent time with loved ones. I was a lot slower. And then I also made sure that I exposed myself to a lot of darkness in the evening. I slept really well.
• 7:32
  The reason why we didn't sleep very well was because it was hot. We had the fan on. We had all the windows open, etcetera. So it was a much cooler room last night. So then that pain, that negativity, that suffering, I'm not experiencing that today, and that has helped immensely.
• 7:47
  But the other thing, which is the second thing that I want to really talk about actually, no. I'm skipping ahead. So I come back to your physiology. What are you doing or what are you not doing that is going to be driving that potential negativity, that negative headspace? So I know for myself, what are my main negative triggers?
• 8:09
  My main negative triggers for me that get me in a terrible headspace. One, excessive caffeine. If I have too much caffeine, my heart is fucking going like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom like, it's almost like the world is just going to part. I don't feel stable. I feel out of control.
• 8:25
  So I know if I'm feeling that it's due to excessive caffeine. So then I can look at these things. I can look into it. So it's like a couple of days ago, I was feeling that anxiety, but I hadn't changed the amount of caffeine that I'd consumed. I always have 17 grams of beans.
• 8:42
  K? I weigh my beans out because I get the flavor, but I had twice the anxiety. Now why was that? And it was because I bought some beans back from Sri Lanka, and I looked into them. They are robusta beans.
• 8:53
  So they have twice the caffeine content, which means moving forward, if I'm going to consume those beans, I've gotta consume nine grams of those beans, not 18. But then secondly, I then go, okay. Well, actually, maybe just making sure I don't have robusta beans has an impact because 18 grams of Arabica beans are perfectly fine. The same with alcohol. If I've had alcohol, it screws me.
• 9:20
  Honestly, like, this world is gray, miserable. It's horrible. It's such a horrible world when I've had some form of alcohol. So I don't have it. It's like we went to Sri Lanka.
• 9:30
  I was away for two weeks. I had two beers. And when I say I had two beers, I had one at day five. It's when me and Alice were reunited. And we went out for dinner.
• 9:40
  I had a beer. And then do you know what happened? I woke up in the middle of the night just in pure sweats and anxiety. It was awful. And because I'm so sensitive to alcohol, I was like, I'm just not drinking this stuff because it has such an impact on my sleep.
• 9:54
  So then I didn't drink for the rest of the trip apart from the last night because we're like, do know what? Let's have a little celebration. And when I say a beer, I mean I had a 330 mil can. So I know alcohol is just bad for me. It's bad for me.
• 10:07
  It is. End of story. So I live an insanely low alcohol life because it doesn't serve me. I then look at if I'm not doing cold water therapy, if I'm not exercising, if I'm not walking. But then the other thing is, those are things that I know that I'm not doing.
• 10:27
  So when you are in a negative space, there's two things. What are the things that negatively in terms of what you're eating or you're actually ingesting that have a negative impact on your headspace? But then secondly, what are the things that you can eat? What are the things that you do do that just neutralize that? That just make it a little bit less painful, dark, and gloomy?
• 10:51
  What are the exercise sessions that really help you out? And then ask yourself the question, have I been doing those chronically or not? And if the answer is no, okay. You know what the solution is, and you can go and do that. So I think that this comes down to when we're experiencing any pain or experiencing any problems, any challenges, go to the source.
• 11:08
  What is causing this? And then we can create a solution, and then we go and take the action to do it. K? So the first one is really centered around our physiology. But then secondly, which I think is more important in terms of what are we exposing ourselves to psychologically.
• 11:25
  K? What are we exposing ourselves to psychologically and emotionally? So I kinda look at, this morning. Why has this morning been so good? Well, normally, I'll just tell you about my my kinda morning routine because it'll really kinda, you know, maybe help you just kinda see a couple of things that trigger you as well.
• 11:44
  So I'll wake up. I'll have my cold shower. I'll sit and read my book. And, again, like, every morning, I start the day off by reading a book that is drowned in positivity, drowned in constructive thinking. So right now, I'm reading, a mixture of Buddhist teachings, and, Bob Proctor, who is just really kinda centered around, like, prosperity, not necessarily just positive thinking, but, like, abundance thinking, like, being able to get out of a scarcity mindset.
• 12:12
  So I started the day off this morning. First of all, I've had a cold shower. That's driving up my dopamine. That's making me feel more motivated. It's cleaning out the cobwebs.
• 12:21
  I've done a little bit of breath work. I'm operating from a more positive state. I've I've changed my physiology to be more positive and more healthy. But then secondly, I then go and expose my mind to something more positive. I started the day off in this this potential, this possibilities, this this constructive ways of being able to do things as opposed to being in a negative headspace.
• 12:45
  K? But what I've been doing over the past few months that I've just caught myself out is that as soon as I read that book, I immediately go over to my computer. I check WhatsApp. I check Instagram, and I check my emails. Boom.
• 12:56
  I'm just bombarded. Okay? Bombarded with I've got to respond to this person. If I have an unhappy client, I've got to get back to them. It's negativity.
• 13:04
  If I have, you know, let's say, for example, one thing that used to really, really bad to me was, looking at Instagram, seeing the number of DMs that I'm not getting, the number of people who aren't buying my stuff. Yeah? So when I'm exposing myself to that, if it's early on in the morning, I'm immediately hit with like, woah. So I know internally for me that Instagram is a trigger. It's a negative trigger.
• 13:29
  And for me to just mindlessly it's not even just scrolling, but mindlessly check Instagram. Who's liking my posts? Who's commenting on my posts? Who's DMing me? Who's viewing my stories?
• 13:39
  Who's engaging my content? If I'm doing that consistently, I'm just getting consistent negative feedback because it's like standing in a garden just staring at a seed. Like, why are you not growing? Why are not growing? That needs to be managed.
• 13:52
  It needs to be take a step back and then come back to the garden the following day, and then you'll be able
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: to see a little bit
• 13:58
  Callum Walker: of growth. If I'm constantly checking and checking and checking, that's not healthy for me. So, the same with WhatsApp. I'm constantly responding, and I'm responding from a place before I've actually taken any form of constructive actions that are moving the needle forward. So I haven't it's it's midday.
• 14:15
  I haven't gone on to Instagram today. I haven't checked WhatsApp. I haven't checked my emails in the slightest. But what I have done is I've recorded a podcast episode for you guys. So what I've managed to do is I've identified the negative triggers that impact me psychologically, put me into a negative headspace, and then what I've done before exposing myself to that, I've gone and done something constructive.
• 14:37
  So I know that recording this podcast, it's moving the needle forward in terms of my business, it's moving the needle forward in terms of my relationship with you guys, is moving the needle forward in terms of my overall personal mission, all before I'm in reactivity mode. I'm then gonna go on to Facebook, onto my Facebook group, and deliver a Facebook live. I'm doing a Facebook live, which means again, before I've got into reactivity mode, before I've got into, you know, exposing myself to those negative things, I've gone and done some constructive actions. So I think that with that as well, we've got to define what are our constructive actions. What are the actions that move the needle forward that are actually going to benefit us before we get into reactivity mode?
• 15:17
  Does that make sense? So yeah. So, so, yes, in my homework to you is, again, two things here, which is, first of all, I want you to identify from a physiological point of view. What are the things that you ingest that negatively impact you? So for me, excessive caffeine, alcohol, not sleeping very well, not doing any form of mindfulness, And also when I mean consuming refined carbohydrates, I naturally feel far more negative, and I know that.
• 15:47
  K? But then also on the flip side, what are the positive things that you do do that really help you? So for me, in an ice pack, doing breath work, doing yoga, going for a walk without any form of headphones, some high intensity cardio, doing resistance exercise, all of those things get me out of the negative and put me into the positive. They change my state, which then changes my mind. K?
• 16:09
  And when I change my mind from being destructive to being constructive, I then start to take more constructive actions as opposed to destructive actions. So, again, it's like today, I've got myself into a positive state. I slept better. I I lowered my caffeine content. I haven't had any alcohol.
• 16:27
  I've done my cold water therapy. I've gone for a walk. I exposed myself to sunlight. I'm in a positive mode. And then do know what happened?
• 16:33
  I then had a desire to want to go and do something constructive in terms of recording a podcast for you guys. How cool is that? So what I want you to do is, first of all, identify what are the negative triggers from a physiological point of view in terms of what you consume or what you do that negatively impacts your state. And then secondly, what are the the the the positive things that you can do physiologically that really, really benefit your mental health? K?
• 17:00
  And then I want you to do an audit of what are all of the negative psychological things that you expose yourself to. That could be so for me, I know it's three core things. Excessive Instagram, consumption, not even consumption because I don't really kinda fall into the comparison trap anymore, but more in terms of, like, just constantly standing there looking at a seed hoping for it to grow. K? So that is not helpful.
• 17:23
  Secondly, excessive checking your WhatsApp and being too accessible and available to people. And then the third one is people who drain me. Okay. I spent too much time with people who drain me and are not in that state. So I either avoid doing the things or I need to figure out a better and more healthy way to do it.
• 17:41
  Because as much as I wish that I didn't have Instagram to run my online business, I need to have it. K? So I don't bury my head in the sand and just avoid it. I go, right. I need to come up with a more healthy and constructive way of addressing Instagram.
• 17:57
  I need to come up with a more healthy and constructive way of addressing WhatsApp, of addressing my emails. Does that make sense? So I want you to do a
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: little audit. What are all
• 18:06
  Callum Walker: the negative things that screw you up that make you feel like crap? And then either how can I get rid of it, or how can I expose myself to this in a more healthy way? Never forget. If every one of your clients gave you just one new client, you've doubled your business. Have you got a client who isn't losing weight right now and you have absolutely no idea why?
• 18:28
  And maybe you're worrying that if nothing changes, they could drop off at any moment? Well, I've got a free nutrition masterclass for you where I reveal the secret nutrition strategy that guarantees that that stuck client loses two to four pounds in the next seven days without lowering their calories, upping their cardio, or even tracking macros. Click the link in the description to get access to the free elite nutrition secrets masterclass and get your client moving in the right direction, stopping them dropping off today.