Latest / The Daily Sarcast / August 10th, 2026: TSA Privatizing, Rhode Island And Their Bridge And My Last Weekend In NYC

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August 10th, 2026: TSA Privatizing, Rhode Island And Their Bridge And My Last Weekend In NYC · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Are you tired of waiting for the universe to deliver the life that you were promised?
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  Try Manifest, the revolutionary new manifestation app for people who are done
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  Their advanced 8-8 Lionsgate portal technology uses crystals,
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  thinking really hard about your future.
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  And unlike traditional manifestation, manifest requires absolutely no personal
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  growth, no journaling, no healing your inner child, no setting boundaries,
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  And remember, you don't need to meet the universe halfway. That's what you're paying the app for.
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  Manifest. Because if positive thinking worked, you wouldn't still be checking
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  your bank account before ordering DoorDash.
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  He wears his socks in the pool because he can't bend to take them off on land.
• 1:22
  Adam Sandler's daughter on why her dad wears socks in the pool.
• 1:26
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 1:32
  I'm Lindsay Vernick and today is August 10th, 2026.
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  Guys, it is the last week of the Daily Starcast of me doing the Daily Starcast for like a month.
• 1:44
  I know it's crazy, but I have some special fun episodes planned.
• 1:50
  And if you're like, oh my god, wait, I want to do the Daily Sarcast,
• 1:54
  you can. You can sign up for the Daily Sarcast residency, so make sure you do that.
• 1:59
  You can click on the link in the episode description, or just feel free to reach
• 2:04
  out to me, and I'll make sure I get you the link to the Google sign sheet.
• 2:09
  So in real news, welcome to the airport where even TSA doesn't even know what TSA is doing.
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  So the union representing TSA officers are suing the government because they
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  want documents about a secret plan to use more private companies to run airport security.
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  So basically the government is like, we have the secret plan to change airport
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  security, but unfortunately TSA are going to have to sue us to find out what it is.
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  But this isn't the first fight between TSA and its union.
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  Trump and his friends have also
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  been fighting the union over collective bargaining rights for TSA workers.
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  The union represents about 47,000 TSA employees, and a judge blocked the administration
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  from getting rid of their collective bargaining agreement.
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  So now the union is like, okay, so what exactly are you planning to do with our jobs?
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  I mean, that seems like a pretty reasonable question when you're the person
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  asking other people to like always take off their shoes.
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  So that raises another very reasonable question. If you're going to privatize
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  airport security, could you at least tell the people who are currently doing airport security?
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  Because like we all want to know who's going to be yelling at us about our liquids.
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  Is it going to be TSA? Is it going to be a private contractor?
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  Is it going to be some guy named Brad who works for Airport Security Solutions
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  LLC and makes $17 an hour.
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  I think we all need to know who we're apologizing to when we always forget that
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  our water bottle is still in the bag.
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  But honestly, I don't know if privatizing airport security is going to be good or bad.
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  But I do know that the phrase secret plan to privatize airport security is not
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  what you want to hear when you're already standing in a security line at 530
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  in the morning. wondering if you're going to make your flight.
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  So while we're all taking off our shoes, TSA is taking its union to court.
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  Meanwhile, I'm waiting in line in security with a bottle of shampoo tangled
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  up by three different chargers thinking, you guys have no idea what chaos actually looks like.
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  And now over to Rhode Island, where the most important political thing is a bridge.
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  So Governor Dan McKee is facing a primary challenge from Helena Fultz.
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  And there's only a month left to go for the primaries, but she's leading by 20 points.
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  And if McKee loses, he would become the first sitting U.S. governor to lose
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  a primary in eight years.
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  And that's pretty awkward.
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  The reason voters are so pissed is because of a bridge.
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  So the Washington Bridge connects Providence and East Providence,
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  and it's been partially closed since 2023 after there were emergency safety concerns.
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  And there's signs all around the bridge saying, thank you for your patience,
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  which is kind of a nice way of saying the bridge is still closed.
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  One woman told folks she's so
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  frustrated by the traffic that she wants to shoot the signs with a BB gun.
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  I mean, that seems pretty tame, though.
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  I mean, people have been sitting in this traffic for three years,
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  and every day the government is like, thank you for your patience.
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  And everyone is like, well, we were patient in 2023, and it's now 2026.
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  The bridge has become such a huge political issue that basically everyone in
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  the race says it's the number one issue facing Rhode Island,
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  and this isn't a huge state you can literally drive from one corner of Rhode
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  Island to the other in like an hour so when your state is small enough that
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  everyone is basically within one bridge of everyone,
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  a bridge not working is going to become a pretty big campaign issue.
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  So this woman, Folks, is running as the change candidate and argues that voters
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  are tired of the status quo.
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  McKee, meanwhile, is defending everything that he's done and arguing that he
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  prioritized safety and he has problems that have been ignored by previous governors.
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  So this whole election in Rhode Island is basically like, I can fix the government
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  versus the government was already broken when I got here.
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  It's all a very familiar political argument, but Rhode Island has somehow distilled
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  it down to its purest form.
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  Can a man fix a bridge? And if he can't, Rhode Island is ready to find someone who can.
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  And finally, in I'm sorry, are we at work or in North Korea news?
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  Some Howard Stern staffers have been told not to speak to Howard Stern at parties.
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  Yes, the employees of Howard Stern were told not to talk to Howard Stern.
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  It's an absolutely insane workplace policy because Howard Stern's entire career
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  is based on getting people to talk.
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  That is literally his thing. He's spent decades getting celebrities,
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  politicians, strippers, porn stars, and random people with deeply concerning
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  childhoods to sit down and tell him their most prided thoughts.
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  But if you work for him, it's don't make eye contact, don't speak unless spoken
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  to, and if he asks a question, please contact HR.
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  Which honestly reminds me of Ellen DeGeneres.
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  One of my friends used to work for her and could not look at her directly,
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  could not speak to her directly,
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  but had to get all of her guests on the show which sounds very familiar and
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  i wouldn't be surprised if there were more celebrities like this,
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  but so a lot of staffers from howard stern,
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  have said that there's a lot of bizarre rules about interacting with him at
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  social events and some people said they've been told just not to approach him at all,
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  just treat him like the queen at a state dinner don't approach don't initiate
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  wait for permission and whatever you do don't ask Howard Stern how he's doing,
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  because you might accidentally end up in a two-hour interview about his childhood,
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  and for the amount of money these people are probably making I'd also avoid eye contact.
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  In Lindsay Life. It was my last weekend of summer in New York City,
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  and I'm so sad, but it was also like the best.
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  I got to see Gabby, my roommate, perform on a boat with this like really fun
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  DJ, and she played the saxophone to Sandstorm.
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  And if you have to look up Sandstorm, I'm very sorry for you.
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  You should definitely know what that one is.
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  I got to see a bunch of friends on Sunday and do my last improv class.
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  And I'm so sad that it was such a nice summer of being in New York,
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  but I'm ready to take on work. Maybe, maybe not.
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  I guess we'll just have to see, won't we? So thing of this week is the Lionsgate portal.
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  So if you don't know what that is, congrats. you've been doing great don't worry,
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  so the lion's gate portal peaked on saturday august 8th it happens once a year,
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  and it's a very very powerful time for manifestation personal growth new beginnings
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  and basically asking the universe for everything that you've ever wanted,
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  so the portal opens around july 28th and peaks on august days and the sun is in leo,
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  sirius is aligned with the earth and the universe is like, okay, fine. What do you want?
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  I love that. Right. Don't you?
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  It's like a cosmic customer service window. And one of the ways to harness the
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  energy is to meet the universe halfway.
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  Like, excuse me? I've already have to meet men more than halfway.
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  I have to meet my therapist halfway. I have to literally meet everything halfway.
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  Now I have to meet the universe fucking halfway?
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  What exactly is the universe doing? Like, I have a lot of requests.
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  I want more money, more successful podcasts.
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  A relationship making the same mistakes over and over again my genes to fit better,
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  so universe what's your half because i don't want to hear well you have to put
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  the energy out there i literally am putting the energy out there,
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  i am literally just sitting here thinking all of the positive thoughts so the
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  universe needs to meet me halfway.
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  And apparently the landscape portal is also a great time to lack of old habits,
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  starting new projects, have difficult conversations, and experience joy without guilt.
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  So basically, Saturday was the universe's annual performance review.
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  But if you missed it, don't worry. The portal stays open until August 12th,
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  so there's still some time.
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  And I personally have a few manifestations I need to submit before the portal closes.
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  And if they don't arrive by Thursday, I will be contacting customer service.
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  I guess that would just be god at gmail.com. But anyway, make sure you get your
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  manifestations in before August 12th.
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  Cooking tip of the day. Don't forget to salt your food.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date.
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  Email me at lindsay at thedailysarcast.com.
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  Thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to sign up for the summer residency,
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  see and I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.