Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 27th, 2026: New Jersey To Ban Gum, Wall Street's Big Week And Dead Men

Transcript

October 27th, 2026: New Jersey To Ban Gum, Wall Street's Big Week And Dead Men · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
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  Bill Clinton Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast.
• 1:56
  I gave you the news and made me a laugh.
• 1:58
  I'm Lindsay Wernick and today is October 27, 2026.
• 2:03
  New Jersey might be coming for gum, and it's not because it's got stuck under too many tables.
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  New Jersey has introduced this bill called Protecting Against Microplastics
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  Act, and that could eventually ban some gums and other products that contain microplastics.
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  So they introduced this bill last month in September, and then there's also
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  this matching bill that was introduced to the state senate this month,
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  and this is how it would work.
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  So the first year after the law takes effect, manufacturers would have to say
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  whether certain products contain microplastics or could generate them.
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  And then the year after that, the labeling requires a lot more specifics.
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  So products that have microplastics would need a warning in both English and
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  Spanish that say this product contains microplastics.
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  And then after three years, They would totally prohibit the sale of cover products
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  that contain microplastics or could generate certain plastic stuff.
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  So that includes some specific gum, cosmetics, and cleaning products.
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  Also, some certain foodware and other things that you could possibly eat.
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  So this bill would allocate $3 million for environmental research and enforcement of this.
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  So they're concerned that microplastics are entering our bodies through everyday
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  products, including things that we eat and chew. I mean, they literally are,
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  but like microplastics are literally everywhere.
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  But right now, the FDA isn't that worried about microplastics in food because
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  there's like there's not enough for it to be a risk to people.
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  But they're all still working to figure out the side effects of us ingesting microplastics.
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  Microplastics so before anyone starts hoarding trident or like five gum this
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  is only proposed it's not become a law just yet,
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  it's currently sitting with new jersey's assembly environment and solid waste
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  committee so you can still buy and chew gum right now in new jersey but also
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  why is gum about to be banned before guns like is this not alarming at all.
• 4:13
  Halloween candy sales are down this year, and even the kids are feeling it.
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  Candy sales are down 6.7% these past four weeks compared with last year.
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  Sales already dropped like 12% in the middle of September, which is like the
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  biggest candy buying period for Halloween.
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  It's not that people don't want to give out candy anymore it's that everything
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  is so freaking expensive like candy and gum prices have risen 44 over the past five years
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  comparing it's like a 23 increase in overall food,
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  and gas prices are not doing us any favors either like the national average
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  right now for gas is $4.29 a gallon.
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  That's like almost 40% higher than a year ago.
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  So people are spending more on driving and housing and food and other essential things.
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  So obviously there's not going to be as much money for Halloween candy.
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  I mean, it's a shame because giving candy to kids you don't know on one night
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  a year is like one of the nicest, most random things that we have going for us.
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  So now people are buying candy, but like a lot smaller.
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  Those seem to be the packages that people are buying right now.
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  However, chocolate is a major part of this problem.
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  Cocoa prices are at a record high right now, and it's partly because of really
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  bad weather in West Africa, which supplies about 70% of the world's cocoa.
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  But then we have the war with Iran that's disrupting fertilizer that gets supplied to African producers.
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  Also, the effects of El Nino could have effects on the price of chocolate as well.
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  The National Confectioners Association, which I didn't know was a thing until
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  literally League today, is still very optimistic about Halloween.
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  And they're like, well, people are probably just like waiting to buy candy closer to Halloween.
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  And the National Retail Federation, which I'm pretty sure I know existed,
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  is expecting about $13.5 billion,
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  which is a really high number in total Halloween spending this year.
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  But that does include costumes and decorations and other stuff, not just candy.
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  So people are still spending a decent amount of money on Halloween,
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  but just not a lot on candy.
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  So I'm going to assume that a lot of people are just not going to be home this year for Halloween.
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  It's also on a Saturday, so I'm sure actually a lot of people won't be home anyways.
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  Okay, how exciting is this? Wall Street had a great day yesterday.
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  I know, very, very exciting.
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  All of the three major stock indexes were up.
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  Yay. Like the S&P 500 rose 0.7%, the Dow went up 0.3%, and the Nasdaq gained 0.8%.
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  And if you're like mean or like, well, those numbers don't seem that high.
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  It's actually like a really good thing, apparently.
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  But however, Wall Street is expecting like a really big week this week.
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  Some of the biggest tech companies are going to be reporting their earnings.
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  So Alphabet, which owns Google and Microsoft report on Wednesday their earnings
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  and Amazon reports on Thursday.
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  And everyone's very interested in how much money these companies are spending on AI.
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  Right now, tech companies are putting billions and billions of dollars into AI, as we all know.
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  And everyone's like, well, is this actually going to make anyone money or are
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  we all just kind of spending on money on AI just to do it?
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  Meta recently decided that they're going to spend more money on AI And everyone's
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  a little bit nervous about that.
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  And a lot of people did not react well when Tesla said that they're going to
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  spend a lot more on AI as well.
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  So at this point, it's not flying anymore when you're like, AI is the future,
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  because everyone's like, okay, well, what does that mean, though?
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  Are we making any money off of this, which is always the question at the end of the day.
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  But then, get this, on Wednesday, the Federal Reserve is going to announce the
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  latest interest rate decision, which we all know right now is crazy, crazy high.
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  And as we know, interest rates affect how expensive it is to borrow money.
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  I mean, that affects your mortgages, your credit cards, business loans,
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  pretty much anything that involves borrowing money and just regretting it later.
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  So that will be really interesting to see what the new interest rates are going to be.
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  And then on Thursday, there's more.
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  There's going to be a report on how much the U.S. economy grew over the summer
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  and all of the new inflation data.
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  So, yeah, yesterday was a great day for the stock market.
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  But between the tech stuff and the interest rates and inflation and oil prices,
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  there's a lot that could happen.
• 9:06
  It's kind of like a reality TV show, except that it's our lives.
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  So if you're like, okay, Lindsay, is the stock market going up or down or what? I don't know.
• 9:15
  I don't know. I definitely don't know. And everybody else doesn't know.
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  We're all just going to have to wait and see.
• 9:20
  In Lindsay life, I am still very much unemployed, but I'm still exhausted by
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  the end of a regular workday.
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  Like, I literally don't have a job. I don't have meetings.
• 9:32
  I don't have a boss asking me where something is that I sent them three days ago.
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  But by like four o'clock I'm already
• 9:38
  ready to like lay down like I've just worked nine hours in an office,
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  I don't know what I'm tired from maybe it's like answering emails applying for
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  jobs going to the gym shopping the cell rock at lululemon I don't know,
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  I think I've just spent so many years now working in production where I've been
• 9:56
  exhausted so much that my body has forgotten how to function without being stressed
• 10:01
  and working under a really tight deadline and.
• 10:04
  I mean, to be fair, I'm working on, like, a ton of stuff. Like,
• 10:07
  I'm working on this podcast, developing other stuff, applying for jobs.
• 10:10
  I am busy. I'm just not getting paid for it.
• 10:13
  So I'm unemployed, but somehow I still have that Sunday night feeling every single day.
• 10:18
  Lindsay Lessons, a lesson by Linz. As you can tell from my ad in the beginning,
• 10:24
  I have crippling anxiety.
• 10:26
  And I literally always assume the worst in every single situation.
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  Like, if my boss says to me, hey, can we talk? I'm immediately like oh my god they found out about xyz,
• 10:36
  I have to be getting fired and to be fair I have been fired like three times
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  and I don't usually tell people that because that's really embarrassing right,
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  but I've been fired enough times that when my boss says can we talk I'm not
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  catastrophizing I'm just going off what I know,
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  and you know my brain already has this whole catalog of things I could be getting
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  fired for and I'm going through the list of it like is it that thing is that
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  other thing that they just find out about the third thing I haven't even gotten
• 11:02
  on the phone yet with them and I'm already trying to figure out how I'm going
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  to explain this to my parents,
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  and I do this with everything it's not just with work I do this with men too
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  like if a guy doesn't text me back I start to think that there's a good chance that he's dead,
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  and the chances increase as time goes on like if it's a few hours and he doesn't
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  answer like okay fine he's busy,
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  but if we get to the end of the day and he doesn't answer it's like okay that's
• 11:25
  a little weird and then we get to the next morning and that's when I'm starting
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  to think you know what something might have happened to him.
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  And then when we hit two days, I know he got hit by a bus because it takes like
• 11:38
  literally two seconds to text somebody back.
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  And he's obviously been on his phone and he hasn't rejected me either.
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  Like he literally hasn't said anything. So obviously something happened to him
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  because how would I find out if he died?
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  His isn't going to tell me like there's no notification.
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  No one from his family is going to reach out and be like, hey,
• 12:00
  just so you know, that guy that you matched with on Tuesday,
• 12:02
  that you've been messaging with, yeah, he just passed away.
• 12:06
  And if he's married, his wife certainly isn't going to be giving me a call.
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  So I could literally just be spending the rest of my life thinking that this
• 12:14
  man ghosted me when he's actually dead.
• 12:18
  Like, there's no system in place for this. There's no emergency contact on Hinge.
• 12:22
  I'm just expected to figure this out for myself.
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  And the timeline changes if I'm actually dating the guy, because then he should
• 12:29
  be texting me back the same day within a few hours. Right.
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  And if he doesn't text me back within a few hours, I'm like,
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  you know what? He's busy. I'm sure. Like he has his own life.
• 12:38
  Right. But then I'm like, wait a second.
• 12:41
  We're dating. Why wouldn't he answer me? Like, what if he's not just really
• 12:45
  busy? What if, like, what if he got in a car accident? And that's it.
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  He's dead. Like, I deserve either a text back or a death certificate.
• 12:54
  Anyway, that's a new stand-up bit I'm working on.
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  But that's all good to say that if he doesn't answer or she doesn't answer or
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  they don't answer, they might not be dead.
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  So if you actually have any feedback on that, please reach out to me because
• 13:08
  that actually is a stand-up bit I'm working on.
• 13:11
  Cooking tip of the day. Don't put a liner in the air fryer that's close to the
• 13:16
  top because it will catch on fire and your whole apartment will smell like smoke
• 13:20
  and it'll be really smoky and then your roommate will come home and ask you
• 13:23
  what happened and then you have to tell her
• 13:26
  that your apartment almost burned down. So don't do that.
• 13:30
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
• 13:33
  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com.
• 13:36
  Thank you so much for listening and i'll talk to you guys tomorrow.