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This Car Finance Mistake Could Cost You Thousands · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud or
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money. The podcast
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: day of the week because we get the team together
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: and we get to celebrate you, our beautiful She's on
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: the Money community, Miss Jessicarci, She's going to be sharing
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: our favorite money ins. Miss beck Say It is going
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: to be sharing her broke tips, and we're going to
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: be helping to answer a money dilemma, which is all
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: about finance options for a new car and something that
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: you slid into Our dms about this week a child
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: support drama with your ex. I always find those so juicy.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: Oh like it just it blows my mind how messy
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: they can get.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: It just makes me angry.
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: Yess can say, I'm already kind of boiling.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: Can we not just put our stuff aside and care
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: about this kid genuinely?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Anyway? Before we get their guys, how were your weeks?
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: You go, oh, long weekend? What can we say? It's
• 1:52
  Speaker 6: just sonics they being like a three day weekend.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: I just love extra time off, isn't it so?
• 1:56
  Speaker 6: And it's crazy how like you'd think an extra day
• 1:58
  Speaker 6: wouldn't make that much difference, but it does.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: It feels like a week somehow, you know what I mean.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: It's crazy. So I'm feeling good. That's really nice.
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: You had to work in Brisbane. I'm like, I can't
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: talk about this because I'm already gotting. I just I
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: feel like an anger or something like it, like because
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: there's no public holiday in Brisbane, and I was like, oh,
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: I well, for context for everyone, I covered someone's shift
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: in Brisbane and so I was like, cool, whatever, And
• 2:27
  Speaker 5: then I realized that everyone at home has a public holiday.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, yeah, I came.
• 2:35
  Speaker 6: Great.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: No, sorry, your contract is a Victorian contract. In fact,
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: you probably should be getting public holiday rates.
• 2:43
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Gives them the option to be like, you can either
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: pay me a public holiday rates, you can give me
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: a which you give me your emails, I will send
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: youselfing sassy for you Enjuel.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: Okay, well that makes me feel better, but otherwise, you know,
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: it was really it was actually a fine weekend. My
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: girlfriend was in Queensland the same time that I had
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: to work in Queensland, and so like it worked out
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: really well. That's actually so cute. I still do have phomo.
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: I have such a sickening fomo. But anyway, what can
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: you do.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: You just gotta live with it. What about you?
• 3:15
  Speaker 6: Fee?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: How'd you we live?
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Love? Laugh?
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: Honestly, just having more time to chill out. I feel
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: like we've been trying so hard to get ahead on
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: like content and work that I was just like, I'm
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: excited to have an additional day off. Although I'm not
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: used to saying King's Birthday.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Like it just it doesn't roll off the tongue.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: No Queen's birthday, And I mean that makes sense because
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: she was the queene for so long. King's birthday.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: It just doesn't. She feels fake. Yes makes yeah, it's.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: A woman, I say, really, I want another public holidays
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: celebrating women anyway, Would you guys like a five star
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: review because I've got a good one.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Yes, I've got a really good one. So this one
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: is from Mike Loud's longtime listener soon to be mother.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: I've been listening to She's on the Money since COVID
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: and have found it very interesting and easy to listen to.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: My wife and I are expecting our first daughter to
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: be born in the coming months after a long IVF journey.
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: Listening to this has been a great way for me
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: to get a deeper appreciation and understanding of the challenges
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: and mindsets a lot of women have. I really hope
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: you keep producing this show as my daughter grows older,
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: so that she can learn from you as well.
• 4:23
  Speaker 7: Oh my, so cute, you love the congratulations from a
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: dads so lovely, literally so wholesome, which as well, I
• 4:32
  Speaker 7: was like, this is the one I'm going to be
• 4:34
  Speaker 7: putting on this show.
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: You men commenting and stuff in the Facebook group and
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: stuff lately, and they always preface it I find by saying, oh,
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: like I know that I'm maybe not your normal target demographic, and.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: You are anyone who resonates without content or welcome here, absolutely.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: And I feel like it's exactly what Mike was saying.
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: It gives you an appreciation as well for like the
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: female perspective that I feel a lot of men lack
• 4:55
  Speaker 6: or don't.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Care on hundred percent like you. Just you also don't
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: know what you don't know.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: You're often like, oh, I didn't know that was an issue,
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: and that's like totally fine. But the idea that you're
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: consuming content in order to get ahead of that, that's
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: low key very sexy.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Yes see you Yeah, but my, oh my god, that's
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: so good. Then, thank you so much for listening. I
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: love it all right. You know what else?
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: I love hearing about our community's money wins, Jessica Ricci.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Every single week you do a little lack rally up
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: of what the community has been loving or what have
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: you got for us this week?
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: All right, firstly, we're starting off with just a good,
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: solid one from Caroline who said she stayed within her
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: budget this week, which means she's allocated everything correctly.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, but like good joy in this economy,
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: I swear everyone I'm talking to is like, I'm trying
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: so hard to budget, but every week I blow it,
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: or I can't get it right, or it's really frustrating.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I'm giving up, like to get it right to flex.
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: Chef's kiss, Well done, Caroline. Next, I've got a money
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: win from l who said money win. We went through
• 5:56
  Speaker 6: all of our expenses in income for a year, then
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: made an achievable by aligned.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: With our values.
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: This is the first month that I've been on maternity
• 6:03
  Speaker 6: leave and we haven't dipped into our savings.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: How good. I'm just really feeling everyone's staying in budget.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: This week.
• 6:10
  Speaker 6: I didn't even realize that I had two back to
• 6:12
  Speaker 6: back nace. I've got a money win from Sophie, who
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: said money win. I realized I had a few nicer
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: brand dresses at home that I've only worn once, so
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: I decided to list them on the vault to rent
• 6:22
  Speaker 6: them out instead of having them just sitting in my
• 6:24
  Speaker 6: closet and collecting dunst. I've rented out one specific dress
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: eight times, and I've tripled the money that I spent
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: on buying the dress.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: How good is that?
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I never know how like rentable my dresses are because
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: I go, is this just something I like?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Or is this like universally liked? But you're good
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: at this, Jess.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: I swear you're like, oh, that's a dress I really
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: want to buy, and you like snoop the Instagram to
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: see how many girls are wearing it.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: You've made a lot of money.
• 6:50
  Speaker 6: I wish I was better at knowing what was trendy,
• 6:52
  Speaker 6: because I feel like it is if you can pick
• 6:54
  Speaker 6: the right dress.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I'm too millennial.
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I think I made it as well. But you
• 6:58
  Speaker 6: might as well just put what you've got up there.
• 7:00
  Speaker 6: True happens because it's true. It doesn't cost a list,
• 7:02
  Speaker 6: doesn't it. No, it's all free, so you might just
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: sit there and every now and again I get an
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: email that says someone's rented address, and I'm like, oh,
• 7:08
  Speaker 6: so money exactly? All right, well done, Sophie. Next, I've
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: got a money in from Shannon who said she got
• 7:14
  Speaker 6: a jumper that was originally one hundred and seventy dollars
• 7:16
  Speaker 6: for ten bucks at the Inner Pali warehouse sale last weekend.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, love a warehouse sale.
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: Win.
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: That's you are like the warehouse sale queen. You've like
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: called me before to be like, hey, there's a warehouse sale.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: Can I please go during work hours because otherwise I'll
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: have to line up on a Saturday like a plan.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: But I don't want to do that. And I'll be like, yes, Queen,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: go go. It's doing a greater good. We love a
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: supportive boss, and we love a ware house sale as well.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Very well done for Shannon. Next, a lot of money
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: lost from Amma.
• 7:42
  Speaker 6: And I did feel this in my soul because she
• 7:44
  Speaker 6: said she had to buy milk and cheese and bread
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: today and there went twenty dollars.
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: What what is it like?
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: Yes, every time I check out, I look at what
• 7:52
  Speaker 6: I've got. I've started playing this game, Like how much
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: do I think it's gonna cost?
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't recommend it. He's always given me. But it
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: is crazy. You'll be like, oh, there's five things there
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: and it's like ninety dollars.
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: Yes.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I actually nearly vomited the other week when I was
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: leaving the supermarket. Again, it's super privileged, but I had
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: two bags of groceries and it was kind of like
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: a last minute decision to go to the supermarket.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: We had all of our Maley spoons and stuff.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: But I was like, oh, we're out of like bread,
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: and like I need some essentials and bloody olive oil
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: and all of that stuff that I'm like, oh, we
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: nearly out. I may as well just do a shop.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: And if you're a mum, you know that, like it's
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: like on the front of your mind. If you're not
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: with your baby, going to the supermarket is easier. So
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh, oh, just do like an essentials shop.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: Two bags, not even full bags from coals.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I'm walking out. I'm like, geez, Louise, that was one
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: hundred and seventy dollars. What are you talking about?
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: And I was like low key a bit embarrassed as
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: I was checking out, and I'm thinking, no, I do
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: need all of these things. And it was like genuine
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: pantry staples. So I've got butter, I've got you know,
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: olive oil. I bought some well samic. I had to
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: buy some new white vinegar. Obviously that's not expensive, but like,
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: all these things just kind of added up and I
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: was like what And dishwasher tablets I had to buy
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: the same transaction.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Those are so expensive, I know, and.
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: I always make sure that when you're buying things like
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: dishwasher tablets, or if you buy like laundry pods or whatever,
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: you're not just like picking the cheapest one on the rack.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: You're actually looking at how much per pod is, because
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: when they're on sale, I'm always making sure that, like
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: each of my dishwasher tablets are like twenty or twenty
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: five cents because it's so easy to get away.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, that one's half priced. But then it's
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: like the.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: Omo brand or whatever it is, and it's like double
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: what it normally is. So maybe that's a broke tip.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: Look at the unit price instead of the overall price.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: This is very, very true.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: You do have astronomically expensive, very privileged that like that
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: didn't financially cripple me. But I was thinking, I am
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: so lucky. At the same time, it's being so frustrated.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: It is really hard out there. I feel you in
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: my soul. Amber.
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: Last of this week, I've got a money in from
• 10:02
  Speaker 6: Meghan who said Facebook Marketplace money win. I've been wanting
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: to get a daisy dog bed for my friend Cheese,
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: but the one I wanted is normally two hundred and
• 10:09
  Speaker 6: eighty nine dollars. My goodness founded a marketplace brand new
• 10:13
  Speaker 6: for one hundred and twenty mandatory pet tax included.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: And just take a look at that face.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, naughty baby, like their little snoots kill
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: me like, and the sounds that they make.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I'm like, this can't be normal, adorable friendly.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: She's called Archie and he like he just sounds like
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: a little piggy and when he's excited, like he does
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: the piggy dead like the best cute Tell me yes,
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: broke tips, what if you got?
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: So this first one comes from Brook and I have
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: mentioned something similar before, but I don't think I mentioned
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: this particular app. So Brook says, download receipt Jar app
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: and all you have to do is photograph and upload
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: receipts of purchases you have made, and you accumulate points
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: which you can cash out into like bouches for woolies,
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: et cetera.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: So I think it's fantastic.
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: And it's like, because we got it, we got to
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: buy things to stay alive, and it's like you may
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: as well get some bloody benefits out of that. I
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: always wonder what you're doing with the receipt like why,
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: what's the benefit that I always think that they're doing
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: something dodgy with them, which I'm asuming they're not.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Lots people use recedure. I'm not shooting on them, but
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: people use it for business or whatever. But oh dat
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: a collection?
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and understanding people's budgets spending habits like it's interesting,
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: But like, I don't know, are you guys asking for
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: receipts for things that you can't claim on tax? Because
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: like if they're like, do you want a receipt with that,
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: I'm immediately like unless I can claim it on tax.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not shave the paper, save a tree, save a tree. Absolutely.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: Well, I guess maybe it would make more sense if,
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: you know, back in the day when you flip it
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: over and it'd be like fifty dollars Domino's pizza Pizza.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: I feel like in this economy, we deserve our receipts
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: that are literally so long and so expensive to have,
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: like free KFC.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: On the other side, Yes, that's what should happen. Do
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: they sort of fuel vouchers on there? I don't believe.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: So that's ridiculous. It's illegal. That's illegal. I mean it
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: sounds like it should be.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: And then this next one comes from Shani who says
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: if you go to H and M. They have a
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: recycling clothes initiative where you can take in a bag
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: of old clothes to donate and they can reuse that
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: as like textiles and whatever else they want to do
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: with it. They will give you a fifteen percent off
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: H and M voucher. That's good, how good recycle.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: I'm so salty on that program because like I have
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: done a deep dive on TikTok and I'm so sorry
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: to absolutely blow this, but they don't reuse it, and
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: I think that that is a green washing scandal if
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: ever I saw one.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: What does it mean?
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Was it coming?
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: We'll give you a discount to buy more fast fashion
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: and we're actually just going to donate it to charity
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: later and essentially drop it into lack a charity bin.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: Which I'm not saying that donating to charity is bad,
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: but when they're doing it under different preten guys different Yeah,
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: So look at up, have a look, make your own decisions.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: But I mean, if you're going to buy from you
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: know H and M already and you wanted a cheeky
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: little discount and you don't mind like pop off queen,
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: but as well more educated I am the more sinister.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: I am so.
• 13:18
  Speaker 6: Sorry.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: That's so lovely. I'm glad you're looking into these things.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Green washing one out of ten. Greenwashing. That's like virtue signaling.
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, basically, yeah, okay, it's where you make yourself sound super.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Ethical or you do something so that you look a
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: certain way.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong, we're in the
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: middle of cozy libs, and you know, we can't all
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: afford to go and buy super ethical outfits. Like, no
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: shame on anyone shopping at like fast fashion outlets. I
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: don't mind at all. I just think we should be
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: so much more conscious with our purchasing. But for a
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: fast fashion brand to be like, hey, we drop new
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: stock in our stores literally a number of times per week.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: But also here we've got this like recycling program and
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: you can bring in your old clothes and buying new ones.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: It's just making them look like they're doing the right
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: thing when in reality, like why do they produce so
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: many clothes? Why don't we just producing consistent basics or
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: things that actually last H and M yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm just a bit enough on that.
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: We did a whole episode ages ago on Fast fashion,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: which we might link in the show notes. Actually, if
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: you're interested in that, but it's a good it annoys me.
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: Sorry then no, no, no, don't be sorry. And this
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: next one, I don't want to be that person, but
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: yes you do. I'm going to and it's honestly, I'm
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: gonna sound like a broken record. So me and Jess,
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: my partner, are booked like a trip to Singapore, which
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: is very exciting. Sorry, no, not Singapore, Thailand.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
• 14:43
  Speaker 5: I keep thinking Singapore for some reason, but it's not
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: anywhere near Singapore, right, No, no, no, it's a different country.
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: Well I have that in my head, so I hope
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: it to land somewhere else. And so this is just
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: a complete side notes, not at all relevant to my
• 14:56
  Speaker 5: broke tip. It's like I, for some reason, I can't
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: like because I I've never been a saver. I can't
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: save for a trip because I feel like if I've
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: finally gotten on top of saving, I've saved two thousand
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: dollars and then all of that, my whole that is
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: literally my whole life savings goes toward a trip, I'll
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: be devastated. And so I'm one of those people that
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: just like to book and then figure it out later.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: So I don't haven't even paid for anything yet.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: But my broke tip is going to be this.
• 15:21
  Speaker 5: If you're going away anywhere with anyone, it does seem
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: a little bit dog. You can tell them, you can
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: tell them what you're doing, but be like, can I
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: book it?
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Everyone pay me?
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: I book it, and you do it through shot back.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: I made fifty dollars on a go to and it
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: are low. Jesse told me at al it's the e
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: sim fourteen percent back on shot back. Try and book
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: everything for everyone and get them to pay you, and
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: then in your shot back it just accumulating all this wealth.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: And if people are like, hey, the freak, you need
• 15:48
  Speaker 5: to give us some of that money, then you can
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: do that. But I would say you book it, you
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: get the money, you get the benefits on.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: The aiment for you doing the admin.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're doing the advice just through and through free situation,
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: including buying things from office works for our office. Yes,
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: she adds her own shot back. I mean that is
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: a good idea because and I allow that so like
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: her fly By is her I'm like, you know what
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: pop off queen exactly? That probably don't do that at
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: your workplace without getting explicit consent from your boss because
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: that might be theft.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: True, but also if they don't have their own shot
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: back account, and then it's like.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: That's why you've got to ask, that's why you've got
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: true because like imagine if your boss found out, Oh,
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: like you know, and I don't see it is a
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: bad thing. But oh, Jess is getting like five percent
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: back of the purchases I'm making.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: All right, we might not see it my shot back.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but when it's with friends, no, sorry, sorry, that
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: rule doesn't yeh No, you.
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: Get that for the for the admin. And you also
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: can get travel insurance on shot back and get trips
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: the actual flights.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Through shot back.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: God, I just I feel like I'm going to make
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: so much more money as you should, queen, thank you,
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: like by by spending much much more money.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: But you've got to spend money to make money or
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: whatever they say. I'm on your team, thank you so much.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: So anyway, that's that's what I'm saying.
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: I think be the admin person in your group or
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: in your duo or in your singular and you could
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: just make a little bit of extra cash on.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: The money win.
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: All right, Well, let's go to a really quick break
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: because on the flip side, we're going to be answering
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: your money dilemma, which is all about financing options if
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: you're purchasing a new car. And then something that I
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: think has annoyed everybody at this table, we've got a
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: message is slid into our DMS with talking about a
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: child support drama with your ex.
• 17:27
  Speaker 6: So guys, don't go anywhere. Welcome back, everybody. Let's take
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: a listen to this week's money dilemma.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: can't solve. The She's on the Money team is here
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: to help.
• 17:45
  Speaker 8: Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
• 17:48
  Speaker 8: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
• 17:51
  Speaker 8: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
• 17:53
  Speaker 8: us a short voice recording and you might just find
• 17:56
  Speaker 8: yourself on the show.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
• 18:02
  Speaker 9: Hey, She's on the Money. I have got a question
• 18:04
  Speaker 9: for you. Where thinking about getting a new card towards
• 18:08
  Speaker 9: the end of the year, but I'm not too sure
• 18:11
  Speaker 9: how to go about it financially. We were considering refinancing
• 18:16
  Speaker 9: a house a very howcome money. But the problem is
• 18:19
  Speaker 9: we don't have any equity really in a house right now.
• 18:23
  Speaker 9: So I'm just wondering what other options are out there
• 18:27
  Speaker 9: for us. Is refinancing even possible with our equity or
• 18:32
  Speaker 9: should we look at other ways to finance the car?
• 18:36
  Speaker 9: Thank you.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: That's an interesting one because so many people believe that
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: to refinance you have to have equity in your property,
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: and it's just simply not true. So you can refinance
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: your mortgage, and a refinance is when you take your
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: current mortgage that you have with Bank A and go,
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: you know what, bank is no longer serving me. I
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: want to pick that up and take it over to
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: Bank B. It doesn't mean that you need equity, which
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: is essentially you know, value that's added up because Bank B,
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: if it's a good mortgage, they're going to go great.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: And a lot of the reason you might refinance for
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: is to you know, obviously, I think you're assuming that
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: everybody refinances to release equity and that's not the case.
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: Sometimes you refinance so that you can get a different
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: loan structure, So you might go, I really want to
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: move to Bank B because right now I don't have
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: an offset account, and whatever savings I have coming in,
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: i'd really like offsetting the interest. Or I'm moving because
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: I want to lower interest rate, or I'm moving because
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: I just simply want a different bank this one's no
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: longer serving me, or I want a redraw. So you
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: don't have to have equity to refinance. So if we're
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: talking about cars, and I know that that's not necessarily
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: what everyone is doing, I'd say, always buy a car
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: in cash, never buy a brand new car, and always
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: take into consideration that that asset is not going to
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: increase in value. It's always going to decrease, unless you're
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: talking about buying like a vintage Porsche and it's an investment,
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Like that's a different story. But most of us are
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: not buying vintage cars for investment purposes. We are buying
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: cars that can get us to and from work. Right,
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: So there's a lot of thoughts I have on cars
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: because I think that they are often one of the
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: worst investments, but at the same time, we need them.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: So you could go to a good broker, and you
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: should go to a good broker and be.
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't think I have equity, but what can
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: I do to put myself in the best possible position,
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: because it's very naive of me to assume that everyone
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: can just save up to buy a car, Like car
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: loans are something that my business rights often. And does
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: that mean that I, you know, really promote you going
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: out getting a brand new car loan back?
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: But like I deal with moms and dads all the
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: time that are like, oh, my goodness, we're pregnant, we're
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: having another baby, and I need a car that fits
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: two car seats.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Like I'm sorry, we're.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: In an economy where you don't have thirty k save
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: to be able to purchase that asset. But like, let's
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: make a smart decision. We're going to buy a car together.
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: We're going to go through this. Sometimes you might be
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: able to extend your mortgage out by thirty grand, and
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: you might go, oh, that's not a good idea, but
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: the interest rate on your mortgage might be much lower.
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: So the interest rate on your mortgage is going to
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: be under five percent, whereas asset finance often sits at about,
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: you know, eight to ten percent. So you're saving money
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: by doing that, and then we can aggressively pay off
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: that thirty thousand dollars above and beyond. So there's always
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: a strategy. So when it comes to purchasing a car, no,
• 21:18
  Speaker 4: you don't need equity. You actually just need a little
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: bit of strategy. There's also a lot of deals.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Going around at the moment.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: So, as I said before, we're never buying brand new
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: because from my perspective, and this is I'm the daughter
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: of an old Like my dad used to be the
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: financial controller of car dealerships, so like he never let
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: me buy brand new cars. Like he was always like
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: terrible idea, absolutely not And to this day, this man
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: will not buy a brand new car.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: He will buy a demo model.
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: Though.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: But if you're looking at a demo model of a
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: let's say you want to buy a Volkswagen Polo, you
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: want to go like because I feel like that's like
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: a little bit higher end. But like, you know, Keanda
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: gets whatever you want to purchase, right, you're going to
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: purchase a small car. Maybe we looking at a demo
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: and we're trying to get really good finance. Sometimes the
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: best finance doesn't actually come from a mortgage broker or
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: someone who writes tasset finance, but it might come from
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: the dealership and I have seen historically like one or
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: two percent finance on cars on their lots, So we're
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: just going to do our research. Finance at a car
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: dealership most of the time is not your best option.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: In fact, it's probably going to be the worst option
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: because it's the most convenient rat. So, like a little
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: finance man has set up shop at the local Toyota
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: and he's like, great, Jess wants a new car.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: She wanders in, goes, can you get finance for me?
• 22:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah?
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: I can.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: I can get you the best deal I can get you,
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: and it's not the best deal on the market. So
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: we're shopping around a little bit, but I think having
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: a look around. Like imagine if you could get demo
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: car one or two percent finance, drive away all of
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: your Red Joe's paid, Like, that's not a bad deal. Yeah,
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: we are making sure that we're making the right financial
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: decision as opposed to just a Oh I'm a bit
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: ashamed of this. I need to get a loan, and
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: you agree to the first loan that comes up. Na,
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: we're hustling that loan too. We're hustling everything as you should.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: So do you guys have anything to add to that.
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: I think I just jumped in because I was like, oh,
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: you don't need to have equity to get.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: A car loan. There you go. It's not adding it
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: to anything. I just wanted to ask.
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: It's probably really dumb question, but I've always wanted when
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: people say paying cash, do you mean physical cash?
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying?
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: You use your car, You could tap your debit card,
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: but you could, like you're saying, you know, go to
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: the ATM and get some fifties to hand, like make.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Sure it's not tracked, like just fighting cash. Yeah, when
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: we say like buy cash, understood.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's all not Sorry, I reckon lots of
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: people were thinking that, to be honest, but I think
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: it's for me love a good car, but also we
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: need to be so aware of how that impacts our
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: long term financial goals. And I see a lot of people,
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: especially like you see it, especially during like cost of
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: living crisises, They're like, well, you know what, everything else
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: is hard, I deserve XYZ. And they often talk themselves
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: into an asset that is maybe a bit beyond their
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: financial capacity or a bit beyond because they just want
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: to feel special. You're just like life's really tough right now, Like, well,
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: you know, earlier this episode we're talking about groceries being
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: a struggle. You're like, well, whats and like so easily
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: we justify it to ourselves. What's an extra one hundred
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: bucks a month? Honestly, Like groceries are more than that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: You justify it, and then you have an asset that's
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: worth more decreases more like it just puts you in
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: a worse off position, often because you think this asset
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: is going to make you feel good. Oh, it's the
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: confidence boost I need for a week.
• 24:37
  Speaker 6: It's just a car.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: It's just a car gets you from A to B. Yeah,
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I drive my cars into They're like exactly as you should,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: seriously as you should.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: All right, guys, would you like to hear the DM
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: that we got these wee absolutely, I think we've got
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: thoughts and opinions on this, all right, So the DM
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: we got this week high she's on the money.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I have a money to lem.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: I really need help with my ex and I shared children,
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: and after a long period of him not contributing financially,
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: including to things like school, dental, and sports, I went
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: through child support collection to make sure the kids' needs
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: were being met. Since then, he started making comments directly
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: to our kids, like I can't give you pocket money
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: anymore because I have to pay child support and Mum
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: will have to pack all of your clothes. Now my
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: kids are preteens and they've started asking questions. I'm really torn.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: I want to teach them financial literacy, but I also
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: want to protect their view of their dad. At the
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: same time, I don't want them believing that I'm the
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: reason they're missing out. How do I have age appropriate
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: conversations with them about this? And how do I talk
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: to their dad about the comments he's making.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: That sounds like the exact situation I would hate to
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: be in, because it's like awful. Yeah, like now you're
• 25:58
  Speaker 5: parenting everyone to have it that's gentle parent conversation with
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: an adult and be like, hey, don't say that.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: That is so dumb.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: You are so dumb.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: It's made me so angry, Like, oh my, I feel
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: first what I just want to say, I'm so sorry.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: It's so manipulous that you live in this situation with
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: like like and you don't know that this is the thing.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: This worth say to all my friends, is worth say
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: to everyone?
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: Is like we meet someone all these things that you're like, oh,
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: you know, you've got to get to know someone before
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: you live together. You've got to get to know someone
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: if we have children with them. I totally understand that
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: you do. But by the time you learn that the
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: person you're living with actually doesn't cook and clean for themselves,
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: actually isn't an equal parent, Actually is not like meeting
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: you at your level when it comes like the mental load,
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: the emotional load, you don't realize until you're attached in
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: some way either emotionally, physically, literally, financially, whatever, And then
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: you get there and you're like, good to know this
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: person is just being so immature, Like first of all,
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: not first of all, because I've said a million things,
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: but the other thing too is that like did they
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: say how much they're paying in child support?
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know what this person's paying in child support.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: It might be and it doesn't happen because if it's
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: child support, it doesn't matter actually court mandated, so it
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: would be based on their income, based on their children,
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: based on their children's needs. And we all know, having
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: I have a lot of single mum friends, we all
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: know it's never bloody enough like your child support.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Payment is not going to be the majority of your income.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: It's not going to be enough to do dental and
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: sports and clothing them and feed it.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I promise you hand on my heart. That is not
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: enough money, So sit down. Exactly.
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: But even if, like if it was the other way
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: around and she was like, I've paid for all of
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: your basic needs and then you go and you do
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: have some money that is disposable income or whatever, whether
• 27:55
  Speaker 5: you do or you don't. I feel like if you
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: go out to the shops and your child is like, hey,
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: I'm really hungry, and then you're like, okay, well I'll
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: just let me just get you one of these, like,
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: you know, a milkshake or something.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know what kids eat or drink. Mine needs
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: a lot of berries.
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: Imagine you're out and your child is hungry, and then
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: you're like, I've actually paid for your all.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: Of your basic needs. So you already paid my child.
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: So yeah, no, yeah, I've paid for your school fees,
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: I've contributed to the rent.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Fits so silly when you put it that way. No, exactly,
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: And that's your child.
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: You both decide to have children, so your responsibilities as
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: a parent never dies, no matter what until you die.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if you've already paid for X, y Z.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: You just have to do what you have to do.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: Because you both decide to have children, you just keep
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: being a parent. I'm so sorry to this time.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: It makes it's so mad, and it like makes me
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: so mad, I think because I have the privilege of
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: being in the SESE on the mining community and seeing
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: so many single parents with all of these pressures. And
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: I think the thing that makes me the maddest is
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: when one parent is paying you know what they deem
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: to be a lot of child support, but they can't
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: seem to conceptualize that that actually does go to the
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: child rearing and it's also not enough, and they're like
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: throwing shade at the other parent, being like, well, of
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: course you can afford that, like you get child support
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: as though like they don't deserve it. I know, actually
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: blows my mind. Jess, what are your thoughts on this?
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: Oh, I completely agree with everything you just said back,
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: and I'm not going to go on to be grand
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: because I feel like they need it for us, for us,
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: you cover it very much. Like I agree with everything
• 29:31
  Speaker 6: you said. Yeah, I'm really sorry that you're going through this.
• 29:34
  Speaker 6: This is emotionally manipulative. It's really really horrible. They're weaponizing
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: your children against you, and that really doesn't sit well
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: with me. I'm going to tackle it from a practical
• 29:42
  Speaker 6: standpoint and say I kind of have two thoughts on this.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: The first one is that I think there's.
• 29:48
  Speaker 6: A lot of benefit to talking to your children like
• 29:51
  Speaker 6: their adults. That's something that my parents will really bigne
• 29:53
  Speaker 6: with me and my brother, obviously within the level of
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: being age appropriate. But the second thing that I would
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: say that kind of leans into that is children are
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: much more observant, I think than we remember a lot
• 30:05
  Speaker 6: of the time as adults. But even if you're not
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: talking to them about things, you would be amazed at
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: the nonverbal cues that they're picking up the things that
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: they're you know, reading between the lines from the conversations
• 30:17
  Speaker 6: they're having with you and your ex partner. And so
• 30:19
  Speaker 6: I think there, honestly is probably a lot of benefit,
• 30:21
  Speaker 6: particularly because these types of living situations can create a
• 30:25
  Speaker 6: bit of a sense of instability in just being honest
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: with them and you know, sitting them down and explaining
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: what is child support, where is that money going? Like
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: giving them a bit of an understanding. And again, we
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: don't know the ages of your kids. So you know,
• 30:38
  Speaker 6: if you're talking to one year old, you said kind
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: of preteen, oh okay, pteen, yeah, yeah, Like if you're
• 30:42
  Speaker 6: talking to a one year old, might not work.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: But if they're pretty yeah, Harvey is just.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: Like banging on the fridge nowadays, like where the blueberries at,
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: not comprehending it all.
• 30:50
  Speaker 6: But if they're of that age, they are old enough
• 30:53
  Speaker 6: to be able to kind of understand these basic concepts
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: of economics, of shared responsibility, of kindness to people who are,
• 31:01
  Speaker 6: for better or worse, a part of your family. And
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: so I think being really frank in conversations with that
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: is beneficial. It also opens the door for them to
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: come to you with questions because I think when you
• 31:12
  Speaker 6: have two parents that are communicating maybe different things, and
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: it sounds like on our listener's side, you're trying to
• 31:19
  Speaker 6: protect their image of their dad. You're trying to make
• 31:22
  Speaker 6: it feel, you know, maintain that feeling of stability.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: Of where responsibility in the nicest possible way, like the
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: team think absolutely, but like if dad wants to act
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: that way, I'm so sorry.
• 31:35
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And I like, I really appreciate that you're trying
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: to do that for them because I'm so kind. It's
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: a really good and important, I think thing for you
• 31:43
  Speaker 6: to do. But at the same time, all of your
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: hard work in that space, it seems like he's likely
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: being undermined by your ex partner, and it's tailing that tactic.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: The detriment of your kid's view with you, so like
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: you trying to raise their dad up so that you
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: know he doesn't look bad. But at the same time,
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: the kids are like, well, it's mum's fault because dad
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: said that, and then Mum's not defending that exactly where's
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: the line?
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm definitely not.
• 32:08
  Speaker 6: Saying get down in the mud, Like I think no
• 32:11
  Speaker 6: better than that. I can understand how it would be
• 32:13
  Speaker 6: really hard for you, like emotionally to try and maintain
• 32:17
  Speaker 6: I think as women particularly, we really try and hold
• 32:19
  Speaker 6: onto all of these things, and we don't want to
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: make dad look bad. We want to make life really
• 32:22
  Speaker 6: good for the kids. But also like the child support
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: isn't enough, and like it can be so hard to balance.
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: And I really do think opening those lines of communication
• 32:30
  Speaker 6: to your kids, giving them as much information as possible,
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: and also making it really clearer than that they can
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: come to you with questions will hopefully help ease that
• 32:39
  Speaker 6: burden a little bit, hopefully how counteract any misinformation that
• 32:43
  Speaker 6: is maybe being shared with them. I would also, if
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: you haven't already, have a stern word with your ex
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: partner and saying, hey, my dude, this is actually not okay. Like,
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: for whatever reason that we broke up, we're raising these kids.
• 32:57
  Speaker 6: We're co parents parenting on some level. Again, we don't
• 33:00
  Speaker 6: know what the split of time or anything is, but
• 33:02
  Speaker 6: we have a responsibility to them to provide stability, to
• 33:05
  Speaker 6: provide a loving environment, and that cannot happen when we're
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: ripping each other a new one, Like.
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: You can say whatever you want about me to all
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: your mates, Yeah, go go, ham Son, don't say anything
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: to our kids. In fact, a lot of like child
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: protecting orders say that the parents can't shit talk each other,
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: which is really important. But at the same time, it's
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: like for small digs like I would probably be going
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: down the route of being honest and open. We don't
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: need to do that at the detriment of the other parent.
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: But like, how do you get your kids involved to
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: a point where it's age appropriate we're talking about budgets,
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: like maybe we're like budgeting for school stuff or like
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: you go, okay, cool, like here's my budget, or you know,
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: here's the split of how much money comes in for
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: you guys, and this and this is where it goes,
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: and this is what your school fees are. So that
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: maybe as your kids get a little bit older and
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: maybe your ex is making comments about finances, it just
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: doesn't make sense to your kids. So like you know,
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: one plus one doesn't equal to he might be going,
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: we give you so much money, but the kids are
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: kind of like, oh, well, actually that only covers this,
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: this and this, and like I've seen that budget. Like
• 34:15
  Speaker 4: we're not trying to shit can each other, but like
• 34:18
  Speaker 4: give them enough, because as you were saying before, Jess,
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: like kids read between the lines, like they kind of
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: know in a way what's going on, But I would
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: not want it to be at the detriment of you, mum,
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: Like you're doing such a good job, and the fact
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: that you're caring so much about even the way they're
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: they're having a relationship with their dad when he's clearly
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: not that kind to you, speaks volumes about the person
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: that you are yeah, And I just I have friends
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: who are going through this and I know what they're
• 34:45
  Speaker 4: ex did. I know, And like, I don't think I
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: would be as big a person as these moms are
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: because I just go, if you did that to me,
• 34:53
  Speaker 4: straight under the bus. But they speak so highly of
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: their partner to their kids, like they are bending over backwards.
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: Their kids would never I know what happened personally that
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: I just sometimes I think, my god, like what happens
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: when they're kids are adults.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: And they go, Mummy, what really happened? And you go, well, yeah,
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: daddy x y zed.
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: I would just be like I would love to be
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: a fly on the wall, but the kids would never
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: even get that inkling because it's so I guess calm,
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: and the co parenting relationship is really amicable. So I
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: just I think, how can you feel a bit more
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: in control because it's clearly weighing on you very emotionally.
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: But also, like they seem preteens, that's a great time
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: to get them involved in household budgets, whether it is
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: you know, we're not sitting down being like rent is this,
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: mortgages that whatever, but like could they get involved with okay, cool,
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: here's our grocery budget. Here's how much we have, Here's
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: how much things cost. This is what we spend on
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: a weekly basis. You guys actually have fifty dollars allocated
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: a week for school lunches and snacks. How do you
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: want that spent? And kids, they're smart, they can work
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: that out. Like if you say to a kid, Okay,
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: well you can have the smith chips. And I think
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: I've said this on the show before. Used to be
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: so envious of the kids who had the Smith's chips,
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: not the like home brand ones. Do you remember the
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: home brand white packets that had the green lines on
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: for the chicken. I always had those, And it turns
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: out it's just because my mum's a money saving queen.
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: She's like, same stuff that you get more. But I
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: always saw it as being detrimental, and I wish at
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: that point Mum had been like, did you realize that
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: the cost difference here is here and you get ab C.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: D or one packet of Jibby's right? Do you know
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: what I mean?
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: Like? Can we involve kids in these conversations so that
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: they can be not led down the garden path, but
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: they can like comprehend the decisions that being made, because
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: I guarantee that like when I was that age, I
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: wouldn't have known what the groceries cost.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know what it costs to makes bag bowl.
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: And if your partner's going, oh my wait, I pay
• 36:48
  Speaker 6: a thousand dollars a week at like whatever it is,
• 36:50
  Speaker 6: that's a big number to kids. Yeah, you go, wow,
• 36:53
  Speaker 6: that's so much money. Like I'm not seeing any of that,
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: not really realizing where it's going.
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: Exactly, and like, yeah, let's be honest. Let's pretend you're
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: a fourteen year old girl. You hear that dad's paying
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: one thousand dollars a month or a week or whatever
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: it is for me.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: I see that cash? What the hell?
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Mum?
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like sit down, anyway, we everybody else there. We
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: asked the community.
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: We said, first, do you think kids should know about
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: child support arrangements? Seventy four percent of you said yes,
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: of course in an age appropriate way. Eighteen percent said no,
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: that's between the adults, and nine percent said only if
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: they're asking. We then said, what would you do if
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: your ex was saying this kind of stuff to your kids?
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: Forty percent of you said, speak to the co parent.
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: Thirty eight percent of you said gently correct the narrative,
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: twenty percent said I go and actually ask a professional
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: for advice, and two percent said avoid fueling the drama, which,
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: like I get because you also just don't know who's
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: the co parent.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: Like, are we dealing with some dood unhinged? That's a
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: really herd point.
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: Actually, maybe something we should say is not knowing you know,
• 37:57
  Speaker 6: there's acknowledging that there's very much you know, we're just.
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: Assuming that this is not some absolute narcissist, terrible person,
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: terrible person who's manipulative and was abusive and all of this.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: We just think it's your ex. Throw in some shade.
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Like that's where we're giving this advice from. Because
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: if it is that that, we actually do need to
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: get professionals involved. That's not for a money podcast to
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: advise on. We did, though, ask the community, could you
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: give us your two cents? First person said this is
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: so icky. My dad pulled this too.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Later I found out he's actually only paying twenty bucks
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: a month. Oh my god.
• 38:33
  Speaker 6: Yeap.
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: Someone else said, do not protect your ex. He didn't
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: provide financial support for his kids and now he's being
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: spiteful about it. It's a great point.
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: Ye.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: Another person said, I actually work in post separation mediation,
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: and including kids in the CS conversation is not recommended
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: really currently, which I find that's so interesting. Yes, super interesting.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Might be worth speaking to an expert then to get on.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: And if you're going through that situation and there is
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: like court mandated child support being paid, there's going to
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: be professionals involved that you can go back to and
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: be like, hey, what's this look like.
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: Another person said, what a dirt bag. I love that.
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: Someone else said avoiding the tit for tat is honestly
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: harder than you think, but the kids actually hate hearing it,
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: so keep going on, mum.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: Another person said, why don't you do a post separation
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: parenting course? Which I don't even know was a thing.
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: It's quite cool. Someone else said it's not your job
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: to volunteer information, but you could correct it. A therapist
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: might advise you of something and how to have those conversations.
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: Then another person and I love this is going to
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: be like my second last one said, children will always
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: remember which parent made them feel safer. Actions are always
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: going to speak louder than work.
• 39:46
  Speaker 9: So true.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point.
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: And then someone else said, in my custody order, neither
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: parent can actually say negative comments about the other parent.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: I understand that, but I think like impracticality. Yeah yeah,
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: like how do you how do you manage that?
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: Feel like, oh, court ordered, it's like, well, I wasn't
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: saying anything bad, it's just fact, it's just fat.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's all subjective.
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: The kids are making it up or it's very hard,
• 40:09
  Speaker 6: too hard, And I agree that sometimes it's necessary. Oh absolutely,
• 40:13
  Speaker 6: But also I really like that point of kids are
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: always going to remember who made them feel the safest,
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: the most welcome, the most heard.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Like, well, let's focus on that. Yeah, it's a great take.
• 40:24
  Speaker 9: I love that.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: All right, Well that's strong.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, guys all we have time for today, so we'll
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: see bright early on Monday for a money diary.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: But till then, have a great weekend.
• 40:32
  Speaker 6: Hey, guys.
• 40:32
  Speaker 8: By the advice shared on She's on the Money is
• 40:41
  Speaker 8: general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
• 40:45
  Speaker 8: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and
• 40:48
  Speaker 8: should not be relied upon to make an investment or
• 40:51
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• 40:54
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