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Widowed & the Definition Of Resilience! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome on the Money the Podcast Millennials who
1:02
Speaker 2: want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one of our
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Speaker 2: money darries where I get the absolute pleasure of talking
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Speaker 2: to one of our incredible She's on the Money community
1:11
Speaker 2: members all about their journey. Let's jump straight into it,
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Speaker 2: because this week I got a message and it went
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Speaker 2: like this. Dear Victoria, I was widowed at thirty four
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Speaker 2: after my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. We had just
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Speaker 2: built our dream home and were planning a family. Overnight,
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Speaker 2: I went from happily married in a new home with
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Speaker 2: two good incomes, to widowed in a financial crisis, relying
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Speaker 2: on sanlink and three weeks pregnant. With the help of
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Speaker 2: good financial preparation and a solid emergency fund and a
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Speaker 2: stubborn resilience streak in me, three and a half years on,
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Speaker 2: I'm happy but tired, solo mama to a beautiful three
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Speaker 2: year old daughter. I earned a six figure salary after
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Speaker 2: I was headhunted and am thriving financially. Thanks Victoria for
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Speaker 2: reassuring me that it's okay to use my emergency fund
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Speaker 2: to help me through this major life emergency. Your podcasts
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Speaker 2: were a push I needed money. Diarist, What the heck?
2:13
Speaker 2: Look what you've done.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds a lot when you read it out
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Speaker 3: like that.
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Speaker 2: That's heavy and also just like inspirational at the same time.
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Speaker 2: And I just have so many questions. Let's dive into
2:25
Speaker 2: the first question that I ask everyone on the show
2:28
Speaker 2: Money direst If I asked you to give yourself a
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Speaker 2: money grade, what would you grade your habits from A
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Speaker 2: through to F?
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Speaker 3: Right now, I'd say A B plus?
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Speaker 2: Who a B plus?
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Speaker 3: All right?
2:39
Speaker 2: Now, obviously that was a very heavy entry. We're gonna
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Speaker 2: need to know more, my friend, can you tell me
2:45
Speaker 2: a little bit more about your story?
2:48
Speaker 3: So I'll start out with mine and my late husband's story.
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Speaker 3: We met in high school. Oh cute. Yeah, so I
2:56
Speaker 3: was eleven and he was twelve when we first met,
2:58
Speaker 3: and we were friends throughout high school. Yeah, started dating
3:01
Speaker 3: when I was fifteen, he was sixteen, And yeah, we
3:05
Speaker 3: went through life together. We grew up together. We bought
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Speaker 3: our first home at twenty one, so we always worked
3:12
Speaker 3: hard and saved. Bought our second home at twenty five.
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Speaker 3: We got married at twenty five. Around that time was
3:20
Speaker 3: just hectic. I was finishing my PhD. We were working
3:22
Speaker 3: multiple jobs each and yeah, buying and selling homes. And
3:26
Speaker 3: then we decided No, we'd been looking for probably a year,
3:30
Speaker 3: every weekend looking for our drain property and couldn't find it.
3:34
Speaker 3: So we decided to get out of the property market.
3:36
Speaker 3: Sold both homes, and with the equity, we went on
3:40
Speaker 3: a trip around the world.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, genius.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, probably not the wisest financial decision, but I wouldn't
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Speaker 3: change anything.
3:47
Speaker 2: I was about to say. Now we know what the
3:50
Speaker 2: outcome was. Like, that's such a special memory and time
3:53
Speaker 2: that you had together.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was amazing. Then we decided that we wanted
3:58
Speaker 3: to start a family, so we were looking again for
4:00
Speaker 3: the dream home and we bought acreage in regional Victoria
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Speaker 3: and built. So we spent over five years planning and
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Speaker 3: building the dream and it was finally built in twenty
4:12
Speaker 3: twenty and then we moved in right when COVID hit.
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Speaker 3: And then my husband died six weeks after we moved in.
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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so I obviously found myself in a
4:24
Speaker 3: bit of a financial crisis. That's our story, my money
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Speaker 3: story growing up. My parents divorced when I was young.
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Speaker 3: I was just three when they divorced, and reflecting now,
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Speaker 3: it's really interesting to see how different people view finances
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Speaker 3: and money. And my dad was very good with money,
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Speaker 3: but he always prioritized money and work over us kids.
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Speaker 3: My mum left with basically nothing. She always jokes that
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Speaker 3: she got the better end of the bargain she got
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Speaker 3: out with us kids. So growing up, we were raised
4:56
Speaker 3: by my mom and stepdad on a farm. We didn't
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Speaker 3: have a lot, but we never felt that we missed out.
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Speaker 3: So I learned a lot from both my dad and
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Speaker 3: my mum how to be frugal, how to manage money.
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Speaker 3: But also, yeah, a lot of good habits for my
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Speaker 3: dad as well. But I think the main thing I
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Speaker 3: learned from dad was money's important to live, but it's
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Speaker 3: not everything, and around prioritizing family and other experiences over money.
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Speaker 3: Money's just that means to live our lives. And sadly
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Speaker 3: he didn't get that because he did prioritize money over
5:27
Speaker 3: us kids.
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Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's one of the key takeaways for me,
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Speaker 3: and that's prioritizing family now and especially after my husband dying,
5:37
Speaker 3: especially after seeing how much he's missed out on.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. How old was your husband?
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Speaker 3: He was thirty four.
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Speaker 2: He was a baby, still so young. And in your
5:49
Speaker 2: letter into me, you said, obviously this changed dramatically overnight,
5:54
Speaker 2: and you were three weeks pregnant at that time. Did
5:57
Speaker 2: you know you were three weeks page?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, So we had been trying to start a family,
6:01
Speaker 3: and i'd had early miscarriage. This time around, I was
6:05
Speaker 3: working from home because it was COVID and i'd finished work.
6:08
Speaker 3: I was so tired and I couldn't understand why. And
6:11
Speaker 3: I was so tired, and I had an online exercise
6:13
Speaker 3: class I had to attend, and I thought I just
6:15
Speaker 3: can't do it. So I went out to talk to
6:17
Speaker 3: my husband and say, you know, dinner's nearly ready, come
6:21
Speaker 3: in and I couldn't find him, and I tried calling him.
6:25
Speaker 3: Long story short, ended up finding him in the shed
6:28
Speaker 3: of our property. He was unresponsive, so I gave CPR.
6:34
Speaker 3: I called for the neighbor to come over and we
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Speaker 3: called the ambulance but it was too late. Four days later,
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Speaker 3: I just knew after he died, I just had a feeling.
6:43
Speaker 3: I just knew.
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Speaker 2: You were like, this is going to happen, Like, of
6:45
Speaker 2: course it's gonna happen.
6:47
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I went to the doctors and the doctor said,
6:50
Speaker 3: you know, it's too early to confirm, just wait. But
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Speaker 3: I couldn't wait. So I took a pregnancy test and
6:55
Speaker 3: took another one.
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Speaker 2: That's what I would have done, Like when I was
6:58
Speaker 2: getting pregnant, I was like doing for ignancy deak before
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Speaker 2: they were due. Like, I was like, I'm going to
7:03
Speaker 2: find out the second this is a possibility. I knew
7:06
Speaker 2: that feeling. Well.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I was three weeks pregnant and we now
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Speaker 3: have a beautiful almost three year old daughter.
7:13
Speaker 2: Oh my heart. So we did get to live on
7:16
Speaker 2: through her. How beautiful is that?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's very much like him.
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Speaker 2: Oh that's actually the best. Like, that's so sweet that
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Speaker 2: you still get I guess a piece of him around.
7:25
Speaker 2: And now, what does life look like? You've obviously gone
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Speaker 2: through all of that and come out the other side,
7:32
Speaker 2: the other side of the story you've written. And he said,
7:34
Speaker 2: I earned a six figure salary. I was head hunted,
7:37
Speaker 2: Like this is a complete flip. You're thriving. Tell me
7:41
Speaker 2: about life. What does it look like today?
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Speaker 3: Yeah? So it was obviously the most difficult time in
7:46
Speaker 3: my life after my husband died, you know, even just
7:49
Speaker 3: dealing with the death admin and just trying to function
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Speaker 3: when you're grieving. I think the shock took about nine
7:55
Speaker 3: months to wear off. But during that time, you know,
7:57
Speaker 3: obviously I was pregnant, so I had to plan ahead
8:02
Speaker 3: and think what is this going to look like. I
8:04
Speaker 3: had an incredibly supportive employer, so I ended up getting
8:09
Speaker 3: eight months paid leave from them, oh wow, before taking
8:14
Speaker 3: maternity leave. So I think I went back to work
8:16
Speaker 3: for a couple of weeks, but they were amazing. I
8:19
Speaker 3: took twelve months maternity leave paid that was at half
8:22
Speaker 3: pay and plus using annual leave, and then I just
8:25
Speaker 3: wasn't ready to go back to work, and so thankfully,
8:29
Speaker 3: because of my emergency account, I was able to extend
8:33
Speaker 3: my maternity leave by six months and I took that
8:35
Speaker 3: completely unpaid, and I paid myself a wage every fortnight. Still, yeah,
8:40
Speaker 3: life looks very different now. I did end up going
8:43
Speaker 3: back to my work, and I loved my work. I
8:46
Speaker 3: loved the work I did, and I love my employer.
8:48
Speaker 3: They were great, but it just didn't feel right. I
8:50
Speaker 3: think going back to where I was when my husband
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Speaker 3: was alive, it was just really hard.
8:56
Speaker 2: You need to change, You need to shake it up
8:58
Speaker 2: and move on from a period that wasn't, I guess,
9:03
Speaker 2: the best period of your life.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. So I wasn't looking for work, but I was
9:07
Speaker 3: just kind of going in doing what I needed to do.
9:11
Speaker 3: And then I was contacted by my current employer. They'd
9:14
Speaker 3: actually heard about me through work and through people we
9:17
Speaker 3: used to work with, and they said, oh, you know,
9:20
Speaker 3: just reaching out seeing if you're interested. We need someone
9:22
Speaker 3: with your skill set. Do you want to have a chat?
9:24
Speaker 3: I thought, well, what do I have to lose?
9:26
Speaker 2: I might as well, Yeah, what's a chat?
9:27
Speaker 3: Yeah? So I took the plunge, and you know, I
9:31
Speaker 3: was walking away from a really secure job. I knew
9:33
Speaker 3: it was decent money. But I haven't looked back. I've
9:36
Speaker 3: been there for almost a year and yeah, I love it.
9:39
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so glad. And it's kind of like at
9:42
Speaker 2: that point in time, knowing that someone kind of head
9:45
Speaker 2: hunted you, that was probably a confidence boost as well
9:47
Speaker 2: that you definitely deserved. You were like, you know what,
9:50
Speaker 2: I've still got it. Like, I'm still here, I'm still thriving,
9:53
Speaker 2: and now you have a six figure salary.
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Speaker 3: Yes, So I was earning well and when they approach me,
10:00
Speaker 3: they said, this is what we can pay you, and
10:03
Speaker 3: I said, no, I might as well stay where I
10:04
Speaker 3: am and so I negotiated up.
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Speaker 2: Oh and she negotiated it as well, of course she did,
10:08
Speaker 2: what a queen.
10:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, they offered me an amount and I said,
10:12
Speaker 3: is that including super or plus super? And they said
10:15
Speaker 3: that's inclusive and I said, no, I'll take that figure
10:18
Speaker 3: plus super.
10:19
Speaker 1: Get it.
10:19
Speaker 3: So I'm currently on one hundred and thirty nine thousand
10:24
Speaker 3: plus Super plus a nine percent incentive payment, which is
10:29
Speaker 3: like a bonus annually. But I work part time, so
10:32
Speaker 3: that's pro writer.
10:33
Speaker 2: But that's okay. And I'm assuming you work pro riter
10:35
Speaker 2: because you have a small human being that takes up
10:38
Speaker 2: a lot of your time.
10:39
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, and also by choice. Eventually I will increase
10:43
Speaker 3: my hours, but at the moment, this works well for
10:45
Speaker 3: my life. And again, I'm going to prioritize my daughter
10:49
Speaker 3: over work or anything.
10:51
Speaker 2: Else one hundred percent. I love that you're in that
10:55
Speaker 2: position now. And what does life look like moving forward?
10:58
Speaker 2: Like your daughter you said was three, once she's at school, Like,
11:01
Speaker 2: where's life going to lead you?
11:03
Speaker 3: So I have repartnered. I repartnered about eighteen months ago.
11:08
Speaker 3: Oh good. Yeah. My new partner's also widow. So I
11:12
Speaker 3: was actually interviewed about my husband's death because my husband
11:15
Speaker 3: died suddenly and unexpectedly and we don't actually know what
11:18
Speaker 3: caused his death.
11:19
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.
11:20
Speaker 3: So he saw the interview that I gave and reached
11:23
Speaker 3: out to me and he said his wife died the
11:25
Speaker 3: same way.
11:26
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
11:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, So we connected that way, and turns out we
11:30
Speaker 3: were both part of the same widow group.
11:32
Speaker 2: You're gonna make me cry, you can't. It's like your
11:34
Speaker 2: partners have brought you two together.
11:36
Speaker 3: Yeap. We've recently, very recent as in a couple of
11:39
Speaker 3: weeks ago. We've just bought a house together and we've
11:43
Speaker 3: moved in, so blended family. He has children as well, gorgeous,
11:47
Speaker 3: So we both sold our homes and brought together and
11:51
Speaker 3: moved in together.
11:51
Speaker 2: Now I'm so happy for you. That is literally such
11:55
Speaker 2: good news. Like I mean, it doesn't change how heartbreaking
11:58
Speaker 2: everything else is, but Eve and the idea that you're
12:01
Speaker 2: with someone who fully comprehends what that grieving process looks like.
12:05
Speaker 2: It can be incredibly supportive having that and I'm sure
12:08
Speaker 2: you're a part of that group because it is hard
12:10
Speaker 2: and now you have someone who just gets it, Like, Oh,
12:12
Speaker 2: I'm so happy for you. Money, diarrest, I want to
12:15
Speaker 2: ask so many more questions. Though you've told us what
12:19
Speaker 2: you earn, what you do, I want to know now
12:23
Speaker 2: what are your big money goals? What are you currently
12:24
Speaker 2: working towards? Like you just said, you've bought a house,
12:27
Speaker 2: which is so exciting. What else is on the horizon?
12:30
Speaker 3: So short term? The house that we've bought is an
12:33
Speaker 3: older house, but it's good. It's on acreage, it's in
12:37
Speaker 3: a beautiful area, not far out of Melbourne, but it
12:41
Speaker 3: does need quite a bit of work. So short term,
12:43
Speaker 3: we're looking to do quite a few improvements to the
12:46
Speaker 3: house and property. We've budgeted around two hundred and fifty
12:49
Speaker 3: thousand for that, so I'd like to have that in
12:51
Speaker 3: savings ready to go. YEA, hopefully plan for a baby
12:55
Speaker 3: this year, but we'll see what happens.
12:57
Speaker 2: How exciting.
12:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, so i'd like to plan just be able to
13:01
Speaker 3: take twelve months off, yeah, fair, and then long term
13:04
Speaker 3: obviously to continue to invest in myself and continue to
13:07
Speaker 3: learn and educate myself, but also to increase investments to
13:12
Speaker 3: build long term wealth and just to create that passive
13:15
Speaker 3: income later in life, and also to build a nest
13:18
Speaker 3: egg for my daughter for when she's older.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love this just knowing that you're
13:23
Speaker 2: on this trajectory and everything is like working out for
13:27
Speaker 2: the better, Like you're just in this place where you are.
13:30
Speaker 2: Literally you didn't lie. You said you're thriving financially. I'm like, yes,
13:34
Speaker 2: you are, Queen. I love this. Let's go to a
13:36
Speaker 2: really quick break on the flip side. I want to
13:38
Speaker 2: talk more about this property. I want to talk about
13:40
Speaker 2: investments and debts and good and bad habits. So guys
13:43
Speaker 2: don't go anywhere. All right, money Diarist, we are back.
13:50
Speaker 2: I am so grateful that you're sharing your story. I
13:53
Speaker 2: feel like this is something that hopefully not that many
13:56
Speaker 2: people in our community can resonate with, Like I just
13:59
Speaker 2: hope that this isn't a story that they go that's me.
14:02
Speaker 2: But I also I just think it's so important to
14:05
Speaker 2: be sharing stories like this because it can happen. And
14:09
Speaker 2: thirty four years old is so young, Like, no one
14:13
Speaker 2: plans for that. It's always that's the stuff that happens
14:15
Speaker 2: on the news, that's the stuff that happens to other people.
14:19
Speaker 2: Were you guys financially prepared when this happened? Like did
14:23
Speaker 2: you have insurances and stuff organized? Like what did the
14:26
Speaker 2: I guess admin side of life look like?
14:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, good question. And this is something that I really
14:32
Speaker 3: want to stress to listeners, the importance of being prepared
14:37
Speaker 3: and having a good will because we grew up together,
14:40
Speaker 3: we shared all our finances, everything we had, we earned together.
14:46
Speaker 3: When we bought our property, we went through the Barefoot
14:49
Speaker 3: Investor method and read that and from there I started
14:52
Speaker 3: reading different books and listening to podcasts.
14:55
Speaker 2: So slippery slope, that's financial literacy thing, isn't it?
14:59
Speaker 3: It is interesting, it's good.
15:01
Speaker 1: Yeah.
15:01
Speaker 3: So thankfully my husband did have life insurance and it
15:06
Speaker 3: was enough to cover the mortgage.
15:07
Speaker 2: Oh good.
15:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was very grateful for We just updated will,
15:12
Speaker 3: so everything was good to go. But in saying that,
15:15
Speaker 3: because my husband's death was unexpected and there was no
15:19
Speaker 3: known cause of death, it was a reportable death to
15:22
Speaker 3: the coroner, so we had to go through the full
15:24
Speaker 3: coronial process, which took about eighteen months, and in that
15:28
Speaker 3: time you don't get a death certificate until they know
15:31
Speaker 3: cause of death, so I had to wait. I think
15:34
Speaker 3: it was about eight months. I ended up getting interim
15:37
Speaker 3: death certificate from the medical investigation to say his cause
15:41
Speaker 3: of death was unascertained. But in that time, keeping in mind,
15:45
Speaker 3: I was pregnant and it's just what you needed, right, yeah,
15:49
Speaker 3: no idea what the future was going to look like.
15:51
Speaker 3: It took about eight months to get that certificate and
15:54
Speaker 3: to get the insurance paid out. So I'd contacted our
15:58
Speaker 3: bank and they the mortgage of repayments on hold, so
16:01
Speaker 3: that was a relief. Oh good, But we owed the
16:05
Speaker 3: builders still a lot of money which we were paying ourselves,
16:08
Speaker 3: not through the mortgage. Yeah, my husband had an ovated
16:13
Speaker 3: car through his name. I ended up negotiating that and
16:17
Speaker 3: ended up saving about sixteen thousand dollars from that, so
16:20
Speaker 3: I could pay that out, just.
16:21
Speaker 2: Get rid of it, get it done.
16:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted to keep the car. I didn't want
16:25
Speaker 3: to give it away. When I took maternity leave, I
16:29
Speaker 3: wasn't getting an income, so I was eligible for single
16:32
Speaker 3: parenting payment. I never thought i'd be reliant on centilink.
16:36
Speaker 3: We always worked hard and saved well, and.
16:38
Speaker 2: I was going to say that would have been really
16:40
Speaker 2: confronting as well, like having to go through that process
16:43
Speaker 2: and not only having to go through that process and
16:45
Speaker 2: be like, wow, I'm relying on sentlink. I never thought
16:48
Speaker 2: i'd be there. But even just like the naming convention
16:50
Speaker 2: of that payment, being that single parent, that's not what
16:54
Speaker 2: identify as, Like, that's not what I wanted.
16:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, I identify as a solo parent.
16:59
Speaker 2: But no, I get it as an ex financial advisor,
17:03
Speaker 2: like you deal with people in crisis. And even just
17:07
Speaker 2: like the way it works, it's heartbreaking. It's like being
17:10
Speaker 2: kicked while you're down.
17:11
Speaker 3: I was actually thinking about it, and I know this
17:14
Speaker 3: is probably opposite to what many people would say. I
17:19
Speaker 3: was grateful for the COVID lockdowns because it meant that
17:22
Speaker 3: I could just look myself away. And I am quite
17:25
Speaker 3: an introverted person, which only came out after my husband died.
17:29
Speaker 3: I didn't think I was. But I didn't go anywhere.
17:31
Speaker 3: I didn't spend money. So in that time I was
17:34
Speaker 3: able to save a lot.
17:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was.
17:37
Speaker 3: Able to build my emergency fund back up again. So
17:40
Speaker 3: that's currently sitting just over twenty thousand, and I like
17:43
Speaker 3: to keep it at that amount.
17:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, throughout that time, Please tell me you had a
17:48
Speaker 2: really smooth pregnancy. Please tell me you weren't like going
17:52
Speaker 2: through like hate she and stuff like this in addition
17:54
Speaker 2: to greathing, an addition to doing life admunity, addition to
17:57
Speaker 2: sent link and everything else, Like, is there a light
18:00
Speaker 2: at the end of the pregnancy Donnell for you or
18:02
Speaker 2: was it awful?
18:03
Speaker 3: Pregnancy wise? It was okay labor and birth. And I
18:07
Speaker 3: don't want to tell you this because I don't want
18:09
Speaker 3: to freak you out, but I nearly died. Yeah. I
18:12
Speaker 3: had postpartum hemorrhaging and lost about two and a half
18:15
Speaker 3: liters of blood.
18:16
Speaker 2: No, that's not what you need.
18:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, I went into surgery balling my eyes out. After
18:22
Speaker 3: they'd done. I think it was four Code pinks and
18:24
Speaker 3: two Code blues on me, and I've got my daughter
18:28
Speaker 3: sitting with me, and I remember I was just hysterical
18:32
Speaker 3: and I was convinced I was going to die. And
18:34
Speaker 3: I even said to the anethesis before I went in,
18:36
Speaker 3: I said, no, I don't want my daughter to be
18:38
Speaker 3: an orphan. And I can laugh about it now because
18:42
Speaker 3: I know I was just a bit delirious.
18:45
Speaker 2: No, but that's also really valid. I'm sorry, Like, that's
18:49
Speaker 2: exactly how I feel like any reasonable person would have
18:52
Speaker 2: been having that many Code pinks and that many cod
18:54
Speaker 2: blues and then going into surgery after having given birth,
18:57
Speaker 2: Like that's a terrifying experience. We tried to downplay that
19:01
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, you know, in hindsight, no, no, no,
19:04
Speaker 2: in hindsight, that was traumatic.
19:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was traumatic. I have very supportive family, though,
19:09
Speaker 3: and my mum and sister were both there and very
19:12
Speaker 3: good friends. So yeah, I got through.
19:14
Speaker 2: Oh I'm so glad.
19:15
Speaker 3: And now we have a beautiful almost three year old
19:18
Speaker 3: little terror so cute.
19:20
Speaker 2: Such a good age though, all right, tell me more. Obviously,
19:24
Speaker 2: you've got property, and you've just purchased a new one.
19:27
Speaker 2: But do you have any investments. If so, what are they.
19:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, so, my partner and I both owned our homes outright,
19:35
Speaker 3: so when we sold, the property we bought was of
19:38
Speaker 3: higher value, but we still had about five hundred thousand
19:42
Speaker 3: left over from the sale with the properties. So that's
19:45
Speaker 3: currently sitting. I know it shouldn't be, but it's just
19:47
Speaker 3: sitting in a bank account until we figure out what
19:50
Speaker 3: to do with it long term. But we will be
19:52
Speaker 3: looking to invest it after we've used part of it
19:55
Speaker 3: towards improvements.
19:56
Speaker 2: When you say just in a bank account, Pervy Financial
19:59
Speaker 2: Advisory in he is like, is it offsetting anything? Is
20:02
Speaker 2: it at least in a high interest savings account? Making
20:06
Speaker 2: a tiny bit of money covering its own bar like, No,
20:09
Speaker 2: it's just hanging out.
20:10
Speaker 3: No, just hanging out.
20:11
Speaker 2: And if you're happy with that, I'm happy with that.
20:15
Speaker 1: I'm not.
20:15
Speaker 3: And I have been saying to my partner, look, we
20:17
Speaker 3: need to break it up because I know the government
20:19
Speaker 3: only guarantees up to two hundred and fifty thousand. We
20:21
Speaker 3: need to break it up and get into a separate
20:23
Speaker 3: high interest savings account. We just haven't got around to
20:27
Speaker 3: doing it yet. Life's just being chaotic it's life.
20:30
Speaker 2: Had mean, you have a three and a half year old,
20:31
Speaker 2: your partner also has kids, Like, I feel like I'll
20:34
Speaker 2: give you a little bit of leniency here.
20:37
Speaker 3: Yeah. So investments, obviously, my super and I have been
20:41
Speaker 3: doing this for a long time. I contribute three hundred
20:44
Speaker 3: of Fortnite into my super.
20:46
Speaker 2: Now you do know what you're doing.
20:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's currently sitting around one hundred and seventy two thousand.
20:54
Speaker 3: Just after my husband died, we talked about investing, but
20:56
Speaker 3: we just didn't know enough. I think we were a
20:57
Speaker 3: bit scared to take that step. But I opened up
21:00
Speaker 3: a stock Spot robo investing account just because I needed
21:04
Speaker 3: something that was easy set and forget. So I've got
21:06
Speaker 3: just over forty thousand in that. So each fortnight I
21:10
Speaker 3: transfer two hundred and fifty dollars into an online savings account,
21:14
Speaker 3: and then when that hits a thousand, I transfer it
21:17
Speaker 3: into my investing. That's one thing I'm really proud of
21:20
Speaker 3: because that's one thing I have been able to just
21:23
Speaker 3: chip away out and say that's consistent. Yeah, and that's
21:26
Speaker 3: my own yep. And obviously the money that we've got
21:29
Speaker 3: left over from the sale of the properties, we will
21:32
Speaker 3: be looking to invest that as well for the long term.
21:35
Speaker 2: I love this. And then are there any debts hidden anywhere?
21:40
Speaker 1: No.
21:41
Speaker 3: I've always had the mindset of if you don't have
21:44
Speaker 3: the money there to spend, don't spend it. So the
21:47
Speaker 3: way I structure my money is I've got my everyday account,
21:50
Speaker 3: which I always liked to have about two thousand dollars
21:53
Speaker 3: float in there. I have my spending account, savings, and
21:56
Speaker 3: then investing and then emergencies. Obviously we did have a mortgage,
22:02
Speaker 3: but that was paid out from my husband's life insurance.
22:05
Speaker 3: Never had a car loan, never had a credit card,
22:08
Speaker 3: never had after pay. So all right, well, tell us,
22:11
Speaker 3: as I guess one of the smartest financial cookies, what
22:14
Speaker 3: is your best money habit? Probably my best money habit
22:18
Speaker 3: is that I'm good at automating my money. I know
22:21
Speaker 3: exactly what comes in what goes out, and I've set
22:24
Speaker 3: everything up so bills are automatically paid, all my transfers
22:28
Speaker 3: every pay week are paid into the separate accounts. But
22:31
Speaker 3: I'm also very frugal, so I don't pay full price
22:33
Speaker 3: for anything. Oh as find a bargain, and yeah.
22:36
Speaker 2: I love that. That is a very good money habit
22:38
Speaker 2: to have. Do you have a bad money habit? Like,
22:41
Speaker 2: from what you've told me, I feel like there aren't
22:44
Speaker 2: that many bad ones. You've made some really good financial decisions.
22:47
Speaker 2: But let's dig deep here. What's your worst money habit?
22:51
Speaker 3: I've given this a bit of thought, and I think
22:54
Speaker 3: it's that I'm probably too rigid with my finances. I
22:58
Speaker 3: know the money's there to be spent. I have a
23:00
Speaker 3: lot of anxiety around money, and it makes sense from
23:05
Speaker 3: what happened my husband dying. But if I don't have
23:08
Speaker 3: the money sitting there, I get really anxious. So unless
23:12
Speaker 3: that money has been earmarked for something, I'm very hesitant
23:15
Speaker 3: to spend it. So I think I need to just
23:18
Speaker 3: let go a little bit and let myself spend a
23:21
Speaker 3: little bit more.
23:22
Speaker 2: That's fair, But it also makes a lot of sense
23:24
Speaker 2: that that's the case given your circumstances. I want to know, obviously,
23:29
Speaker 2: rogue question at the end. You've got a nearly three
23:32
Speaker 2: year old. Is she showing any interest in money? Like?
23:35
Speaker 2: How are you planning on teaching her to be as
23:37
Speaker 2: good at money management as you are.
23:39
Speaker 3: She's not. I think she's probably too young to understand
23:41
Speaker 3: the concept.
23:43
Speaker 2: I've got a two and a half year old nephew
23:44
Speaker 2: and he came up to me the other day and said,
23:46
Speaker 2: do you want a latte? And I said yeah, and
23:48
Speaker 2: then he tried to charge me fifty dollars for it.
23:51
Speaker 2: So I feel like they might not have a good
23:53
Speaker 2: hold of what real value is, but like.
23:56
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, No, she hasn't shown any interest yet, but
23:59
Speaker 3: I guess I haven't really pushed that. She does help
24:02
Speaker 3: out a lot around the house. She tries to do
24:04
Speaker 3: the dishes and she tries to clean.
24:06
Speaker 2: Oh that gives me anxiety. Yep, it's not very good.
24:10
Speaker 3: But no any advice, so I'm happy to take on board.
24:13
Speaker 2: No, no advice. I just like asking. I love when
24:16
Speaker 2: kids start to understand money as a concept. And even
24:20
Speaker 2: my nephew trying to charge me fifty dollars in this
24:22
Speaker 2: economy for a latte. I was like, do I get
24:25
Speaker 2: oat milk? And he just shook your head and was
24:27
Speaker 2: like no. I was like, oh, that's just for cow's milk. Oh, sheez, Louise.
24:31
Speaker 2: It is probably gonna be like one hundred dollar latte
24:33
Speaker 2: if I ask for any kind of alternative milk. This
24:36
Speaker 2: is wild, But kids are yeah, fun, and I'm obviously
24:40
Speaker 2: a bit pervy on it at the moment. The situation
24:43
Speaker 2: you've been through is horrendous, and I am so sorry
24:46
Speaker 2: that you have had to go through this. But I
24:48
Speaker 2: also look at it and I'm like, holy Molly, I
24:50
Speaker 2: am so proud of where you are now. Like it
24:53
Speaker 2: is obviously the worst thing that you can go through
24:57
Speaker 2: and then to have come out the other side. And
25:00
Speaker 2: even just the way you've written it, You're like, I
25:02
Speaker 2: am financially thriving. I'm like, yes, you are, Like I
25:06
Speaker 2: like that, you can see that. I love that you've
25:08
Speaker 2: found a partner that's supportive. I'm obsessed with the fact
25:11
Speaker 2: that you're on a six figure salary and during a
25:14
Speaker 2: time that you were probably still grieving pretty hard. There
25:17
Speaker 2: you are renegotiating the contract. I'm like, yes, Queen, you
25:21
Speaker 2: are as she's on the money, member, I can see you.
25:24
Speaker 2: I love this. But if someone is in a situation
25:28
Speaker 2: they're like, this is never going to happen to me,
25:31
Speaker 2: what would you say, is I guess the one thing
25:33
Speaker 2: that they should be looking at beforehand. Obviously we don't
25:37
Speaker 2: want this to happen to anyone in our community. But
25:40
Speaker 2: like you said before, I'm glad he had his insurances
25:42
Speaker 2: and like his will and stuff. But to you, what
25:44
Speaker 2: was the thing that helped you through that process the most.
25:48
Speaker 3: I'd say my family. Obviously they helped me through of
25:51
Speaker 3: course knowing that we did have a good will. My
25:56
Speaker 3: situation now is a lot more complicated, so we again
25:59
Speaker 3: need to get legal advice on how that could work
26:02
Speaker 3: moving forward. But also just making sure that we did
26:06
Speaker 3: have enough insurances to cover all expenses. So we were lucky.
26:12
Speaker 3: We did make sure that we had enough to cover
26:15
Speaker 3: and that we only increased the amount of our life
26:18
Speaker 3: insurances because we were building, so we needed to make
26:22
Speaker 3: sure it would cover the cost of the build. So
26:24
Speaker 3: many friends I speak to you now, they don't have
26:26
Speaker 3: a will, they don't have life insurance, they have no
26:29
Speaker 3: idea what's going on with their super. So yeah, I
26:32
Speaker 3: think I'd really like to stress to listeners the importance
26:35
Speaker 3: of making sure that you do have your life insurance
26:38
Speaker 3: or your personal insurances, you know if it's income protection, disability,
26:42
Speaker 3: and making sure that your super is set to binding. Yes,
26:47
Speaker 3: And also, yeah, the will, it's probably the most important thing.
26:51
Speaker 2: We'll put links in our show notes to make sure
26:54
Speaker 2: that everyone can get hold of that. Obviously, I talk
26:57
Speaker 2: a lot about the importance of in sderances and personal
27:01
Speaker 2: insurances and making sure that you set up your will properly.
27:04
Speaker 2: And it's not very sexy, like it's not fun to
27:06
Speaker 2: have these conversations, and you always like, what's the point? But
27:10
Speaker 2: I really do hope that for everyone who takes action
27:13
Speaker 2: and actually sets up their life insurances, I really hope
27:16
Speaker 2: it's the biggest waste of money. Like I hope that
27:18
Speaker 2: it's not something you ever have to rely on, because
27:20
Speaker 2: a circumstance like this you wouldn't wish upon anybody. But
27:24
Speaker 2: if it does happen, at least you're in the best
27:26
Speaker 2: possible position you can be. And I think that that is,
27:30
Speaker 2: to me, the most important thing money. I'm obsessed with
27:33
Speaker 2: this chat. I'm so so grateful that you wanted to
27:36
Speaker 2: share so much of yourself and your partner's journey, and
27:39
Speaker 2: getting to learn about you has been beautiful. I do
27:42
Speaker 2: want to know, though you seem to have all of
27:45
Speaker 2: your finances in order. You said at the start of
27:47
Speaker 2: the show, I'm a B plus. What would it take
27:51
Speaker 2: someone like you to get to an A plus?
27:53
Speaker 1: Like?
27:53
Speaker 2: What does that potentially look like?
27:56
Speaker 3: I would say to continue to educate myself around finances,
28:00
Speaker 3: and i'd like to maybe step up into big girl investing.
28:05
Speaker 2: You are a big girl investing.
28:08
Speaker 3: Not through a robo investing platform.
28:10
Speaker 2: So actually GIT an investment platform.
28:12
Speaker 3: It is, and it's been great for the situation I
28:14
Speaker 3: was in. But yeah, I guess learning more about the
28:17
Speaker 3: investments and choosing them. But then again, I don't really
28:20
Speaker 3: have the time, So I.
28:22
Speaker 2: Think that you are investing perfectly fine at the moment,
28:25
Speaker 2: Like that compound interest, she's just working away in the background.
28:28
Speaker 2: I promise you.
28:28
Speaker 3: That probably also to start investing for my daughter when
28:32
Speaker 3: she reaches twenty one. I want her to have a
28:35
Speaker 3: good little nest egg there so she can go out
28:37
Speaker 3: and buy property or travel the world if she wants to,
28:40
Speaker 3: or do whatever she wants to do.
28:42
Speaker 2: I love this.
28:43
Speaker 3: Can I just add to the question you asked previously?
28:46
Speaker 3: Of course, I'd also just like to stress the importance
28:48
Speaker 3: of having that emergency fund.
28:50
Speaker 2: Yes, that is a very good addition.
28:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, I could fall back onto it when I needed it.
28:55
Speaker 3: I was really hesitant to tap into it. I didn't
28:59
Speaker 3: want to and off for a very long time. I
29:02
Speaker 3: was actually binge listening to your podcasts when I stumbled
29:05
Speaker 3: across them, and in one of them you did talk
29:08
Speaker 3: about emergency funds and the importance of them. I can't
29:12
Speaker 3: remember exact wording, but there was just something you said
29:14
Speaker 3: and was along the lines of, you know, it's okay
29:17
Speaker 3: to use it, and that's what I needed to tell myself,
29:20
Speaker 3: that it is okay to use this money, and that
29:22
Speaker 3: that's what it's there for, that's what its purpose is,
29:25
Speaker 3: and that I could always top it up again when
29:28
Speaker 3: I'm in a more financially stable position.
29:30
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I think that there seems to be
29:33
Speaker 2: this real big block for a lot of people when
29:35
Speaker 2: it comes to emergency funds and spending them. They feel
29:38
Speaker 2: like they've failed, I guess in you know, having an
29:41
Speaker 2: emergency fund sitting there, but that's what it's for, to
29:44
Speaker 2: be spent in an emergency where you do need to
29:47
Speaker 2: support yourself. I'm glad that you found that at that
29:50
Speaker 2: point in time, because I'm sure that would have been
29:52
Speaker 2: a really hard thing to wrap your head around. But
29:55
Speaker 2: I feel like we often do need to give ourselves
29:57
Speaker 2: permission to look into that. And I know that I've
30:00
Speaker 2: been in circumstances where I'm like, really don't want to
30:03
Speaker 2: spend my emergency fund. I'm like, but I'm really glad
30:06
Speaker 2: I have it because now I don't have to go
30:08
Speaker 2: into debt. Now I don't have to be, you know,
30:10
Speaker 2: making decisions that I otherwise would have had to make
30:13
Speaker 2: if I didn't have access to cash. So I'm glad
30:16
Speaker 2: that it helped. That's a good place to leave it, Like,
30:19
Speaker 2: set up your emergency fund. I don't care who you are,
30:21
Speaker 2: what you do, what your plan is. If you don't
30:23
Speaker 2: have an emergency fund, you are not putting future you
30:25
Speaker 2: first money. Diarist I said before, this has been a
30:29
Speaker 2: beautiful chat. I am blown away by how open and
30:32
Speaker 2: honest you have been with us. I'm really really grateful
30:34
Speaker 2: to be able to share a story like this with
30:37
Speaker 2: our community, because I think it is so smart to
30:40
Speaker 2: be able to learn through other people's experiences and go, wow,
30:43
Speaker 2: this is really important. I do need to get my
30:45
Speaker 2: stuff together. And just knowing that you and I sharing
30:48
Speaker 2: this means that there are going to be a fair
30:50
Speaker 2: few people that sought out their life insurance because of this.
30:53
Speaker 2: I know that it's so impactful. So thank you for that,
30:57
Speaker 2: and I can't wait to see where you are in
30:59
Speaker 2: five ten years and you'll be thriving even more than
31:01
Speaker 2: you already are.
31:03
Speaker 3: Thank you.
31:10
Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
31:12
Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
31:16
Speaker 2: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
31:20
Speaker 2: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
31:23
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