Latest / No One Gets Hurt / Golf & Order

Transcript

Golf & Order · No One Gets Hurt

0:00
SPEAKER_06: My stay up looks like it says gay up, which is like the best part.
0:05
SPEAKER_05: It was like gay up.
0:08
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, hell yeah, dude, gay up.
0:25
SPEAKER_03: Quick reminder, this is not legalistic.
0:30
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode of No One Gets Hurt Pod.
0:33
SPEAKER_01: We got Tony out.
0:35
SPEAKER_05: Uh I don't know.
0:36
SPEAKER_05: Blah, blah, blah.
0:37
SPEAKER_05: I'm high.
0:38
SPEAKER_05: We're high.
0:39
SPEAKER_05: We're here.
0:40
SPEAKER_05: JJ's not high because she's a fucking square, but.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
0:45
SPEAKER_05: She's still my dog.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: Someone's got to do it.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, today's guest.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: You know that friend you have at a party who's like the funniest guy you know.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: Well, imagine that guy, but that guy's a professional.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: Today we have with us Mr.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: Mark Smalls.
0:59
SPEAKER_06: Oh, thank you.
1:00
SPEAKER_06: I really appreciate that.
1:02
SPEAKER_06: I don't talk to people at parties, but I can see that.
1:06
SPEAKER_05: You have great acid though.
1:08
SPEAKER_06: I've done it.
1:09
SPEAKER_06: I've done it a few times.
1:10
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I can tell.
1:12
SPEAKER_06: Shout out my homie Blake Weber.
1:13
SPEAKER_06: Wow.
1:14
SPEAKER_06: He put me on the game.
1:16
SPEAKER_06: I snitch people out, dog.
1:19
SPEAKER_08: Uh oh.
1:21
SPEAKER_06: No, I've never dropped a dime, but no, that's that's my guy, man.
1:24
SPEAKER_06: He I was always afraid to do acid, but then I tried it and I was like, oh, okay.
1:28
SPEAKER_06: I like it.
1:29
SPEAKER_06: Anyway.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: No, you're good.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: No, you're not an attorney, but you play one on Instagram.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: Is that right?
1:36
SPEAKER_06: Um, I we did like this little sketch.
1:38
SPEAKER_06: I uh uh I work with this uh golf company, Pluto Golf uh shoes, and they're like great dudes, they're like really sweet guys and very, very good at what they do.
1:49
SPEAKER_06: Um, and uh they wanted to do like this sketch thing where like I'm a golf lawyer.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: That's a real thing, yeah.
1:58
SPEAKER_06: I and so I was like, yeah, I'm down and I watch all all all the lawyery stuff.
2:03
SPEAKER_06: So I'm a big, I'm a big fan, I would say.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: You like the lawyers?
2:07
SPEAKER_06: Oh dog, I love the industry.
2:09
SPEAKER_06: Like, shout out Meta Soprano.
2:12
SPEAKER_06: Um, you know, we're that's I was I always feel like that's my dream job.
2:18
SPEAKER_06: The lawyer is like the the fucking civil rights public defender.
2:24
SPEAKER_06: You know what I'm saying?
2:25
SPEAKER_06: Like that's that's that always where I'm like, damn, these people make a difference.
2:30
SPEAKER_06: They do.
2:30
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's really cool.
2:32
SPEAKER_05: If I was a lawyer, I would aspire to be uh what's his name?
2:36
SPEAKER_05: Brian Steele.
2:37
SPEAKER_06: Oh, yeah.
2:38
SPEAKER_05: The guy that got Young Thug and Dirk off.
2:40
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
2:41
SPEAKER_06: Well, Dirk's still Dirk, what are you still fighting one, right?
2:44
SPEAKER_05: Uh no, I think he fucking completely acquitted him.
2:47
SPEAKER_05: No, they got one.
2:49
SPEAKER_06: He's still got one that they that he's going to trial for.
2:51
SPEAKER_06: Brian's on it.
2:52
SPEAKER_06: But Brian's on it, dude.
2:53
SPEAKER_05: He's probably not even stressed, dude.
2:55
SPEAKER_06: I thought you were gonna go left turn and be like the bad guy in a time to kill.
3:01
SPEAKER_05: I knew I knew he was a real one, bro, when they fucking when he wanted to be in the cell with fucking thug.
3:09
SPEAKER_06: I like I love when during the Young Thug trial when they started playing Young Thug's music.
3:14
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, and he's just like And you could see like everybody in the back kind of going like this.
3:18
SPEAKER_06: Hell yeah.
3:19
SPEAKER_05: There's one you can there's one security guard or or like deputy or whatever in the back of the ball.
3:27
SPEAKER_05: I know, it's so cool.
3:28
SPEAKER_05: He's so like typefaced trying not to fucking jam because it's a fucking bop.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, speaking of music in the courtroom, not I know this is no one gets hurt, but did you see that American Idol guy that was charged with and then he played, he was charged with killing his, he actually was just convicted of killing his wife.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh he's a preacher and he was singing a gospel and he had like some kind of real wonky song.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he had some real wonky songs.
3:53
SPEAKER_06: It was like AI.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was AI generated.
3:55
SPEAKER_06: He fed like his like weird to AI.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: And it was basically talking about his mistress and like how age doesn't matter.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: Like it was just bizarre.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: And people in the courtroom were just like because it was so bad.
4:07
SPEAKER_06: That's like killed his wife or he was guilty of bad taste.
4:11
SPEAKER_06: Postmarital depression is is real, man.
4:18
SPEAKER_01: Okay, I have another question for you.
4:20
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
4:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, were your parents big on stranger danger when you were growing up?
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, did they tell you not to talk to strangers?
4:28
SPEAKER_06: No.
4:29
SPEAKER_06: Okay, that's not no.
4:31
SPEAKER_06: I don't think like I remember it was a big thing.
4:35
SPEAKER_06: But I also like I feel like I always acted older than my age, so maybe they weren't very they didn't really care.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: Well, you strike me as someone who takes candy from strangers because I want you to walk me.
4:50
SPEAKER_06: And you know what's so funny?
4:52
SPEAKER_06: Let me first of all you hit.
4:55
SPEAKER_06: I've never had chai before.
4:56
SPEAKER_06: You're like, you look like a spiced chai guy.
4:59
SPEAKER_06: And I appreciate that compliment so much.
5:01
SPEAKER_06: Like, I really do.
5:03
SPEAKER_06: That I give off that.
5:04
SPEAKER_06: Now I never had chai, but then I had the chai, and I was like, oh, this might be the best thing I've ever had in my entire life.
5:10
SPEAKER_06: I try to be a matcha girl.
5:11
SPEAKER_06: I'm not a matcha girl, I'm a chai guy.
5:16
SPEAKER_06: And so now that you're saying this, man, that makes a lot of sense because I still take candy from strangers.
5:24
SPEAKER_06: Just because I want to see where the danger, what kind of danger are we talking about?
5:29
SPEAKER_01: Well, because I want you to walk me through the process of you agreeing to be on a podcast with people you don't know and a podcast you've never heard.
5:36
SPEAKER_05: That's a wild question.
5:38
SPEAKER_05: Dog, why did you come here?
5:40
SPEAKER_05: That's just because first of all, I'm a little slut.
5:45
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
5:46
SPEAKER_05: Good thing for you we got a casting coach.
5:48
SPEAKER_06: Uh oh, dog.
5:49
SPEAKER_06: This is this is this is I've been on this one before.
5:54
SPEAKER_06: I think I gave this up, actually.
5:57
SPEAKER_06: Um, yeah, no, I I'm a I'm I guess I'm curious.
6:02
SPEAKER_06: I'm curious.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: You're pod curious.
6:05
SPEAKER_06: Yes, I'm pod, I'm all sorts of I'm all sorts of industry curious, you know.
6:10
SPEAKER_06: I've been in LA for six years.
6:12
SPEAKER_06: Open the door.
6:13
SPEAKER_06: I mean, see where that that door that everyone's talking about.
6:16
SPEAKER_06: How long have you been doing comedy?
6:18
SPEAKER_06: I started in 2012.
6:20
SPEAKER_06: Damn.
6:21
SPEAKER_06: Okay, that's what we don't want to hear after how long.
6:24
SPEAKER_05: I was 11.
6:26
SPEAKER_05: I was 11 in 2012.
6:28
SPEAKER_05: Okay, I was 34.
6:30
SPEAKER_05: No, no, no.
6:30
SPEAKER_05: No, no, I'm sorry.
6:31
SPEAKER_05: I'm tripping.
6:32
SPEAKER_05: I'm tripping.
6:32
SPEAKER_05: I was 21 and I was already in prison.
6:35
SPEAKER_05: That's nice.
6:36
SPEAKER_06: It's good for you.
6:37
SPEAKER_06: That's a good look for you, bro.
6:38
SPEAKER_06: It's a lot better than 12.
6:39
SPEAKER_06: 21.
6:40
SPEAKER_06: Golly, man.
6:41
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
6:44
SPEAKER_06: Um, I'm trying to, I'm trying to be, I'm trying to chy guy you right now.
6:50
SPEAKER_06: Were you the lawyer?
6:53
SPEAKER_06: Is this the connection?
6:54
SPEAKER_06: No.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: Uh the connection is we met doing a roast battle and we were roasting each other.
7:00
SPEAKER_05: That'll happen.
7:03
SPEAKER_05: It was uh it was it was it had to have been a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: There's no so we show up, my husband, who you met, my husband and I show up to the roast battle.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: We thinking we're thinking it's an open mic, and uh, we find out it's an open mic or it's a roast battle, and my husband's like, no.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, what?
7:22
SPEAKER_01: He's like, this isn't your brand.
7:24
SPEAKER_06: No, that's and then she goes up to that's the skills.
7:28
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that's the great thing about comedy, is like if it's not your brand, it's your brand.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, I grew up with a million cousins that have toolder brothers.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: My older brothers are actually very responsible professionals, they're they weren't too mean to me, but um, I have a lot of cousins that you know we were we were honory, anyways.
7:44
SPEAKER_06: So I was like, you know, I like that.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: We were up to no good, and or they were, I don't know.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: I love you all.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: I know some of you watch, but anyways, um, so yeah, so I was like, I the first guy I thought I can I can handle this, you know, and I didn't know who the second guy was gonna be, and it turns out to be Tony L.
8:00
SPEAKER_06: Tony L, easy target too.
8:01
SPEAKER_06: Me and you are easy targets in Russ Battles.
8:03
SPEAKER_06: I don't know, bro.
8:04
SPEAKER_06: I'm uh I'm like five and one.
8:07
SPEAKER_06: No, no, no, no.
8:08
SPEAKER_06: That I'm not saying I'm not saying you can't take a punch.
8:13
SPEAKER_06: I'm saying it's it you may be easy to hit.
8:16
SPEAKER_06: Yes, yes, yes.
8:17
SPEAKER_06: I I do make it pretty easy.
8:19
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
8:21
SPEAKER_06: I'm wearing a fucking fishing vest with nothing inside.
8:24
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
8:26
SPEAKER_06: I and I asked for it.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:28
SPEAKER_06: But yeah, no, stranger danger thing, yeah.
8:30
SPEAKER_06: No, I uh also like uh I mean your husband is a part of a very nice golf course.
8:36
SPEAKER_06: That's a plus.
8:37
SPEAKER_06: We both are, but dude, that course is beautiful.
8:39
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
8:40
SPEAKER_06: Well, you kept saying your husband.
8:41
SPEAKER_06: Now now I feel uh listen, women golf too.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you've seen the Callaway.
8:47
SPEAKER_06: No, women, women are it's so funny, like because I I've I've I've like helped a few women with their golf swing.
8:54
SPEAKER_06: Sure you have.
8:55
SPEAKER_05: And uh that smile tells us not to golf.
9:00
SPEAKER_05: Nah, nah, nah, nah, so the kids are calling it.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: Work the hips, work the hips.
9:05
SPEAKER_06: No, but that's what it is.
9:06
SPEAKER_06: It's like all these white, it's like an old white sport, like uh is is the stereotype and Asian, and these motherfuckers can't move their hips.
9:14
SPEAKER_06: And so like every I'm like, y'all have you have such an advantage like right out the gates.
9:18
SPEAKER_06: If like, dude, I just just just like you're dancing.
9:23
SPEAKER_06: I don't I dance upper half of my body, and then the rest is just pure trauma.
9:29
SPEAKER_06: Can't let my dad know I'm gay, gotta power through it.
9:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, are you are you a hundred percent Italian?
9:36
SPEAKER_06: Uh pretty much.
9:37
SPEAKER_06: I'm like like 75-80%.
9:40
SPEAKER_06: I have like some German and Welsh or Austrian or some shit in me, but yeah, okay.
9:46
SPEAKER_06: Both grandparents full blooded, and then other side was like full blooded and half.
9:50
SPEAKER_05: Nice.
9:51
SPEAKER_05: You could definitely play like Luigi in a live action Mario Bros.
9:55
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm like a Wa Luigi kind of guy.
9:57
SPEAKER_06: Ah, there you go.
9:58
SPEAKER_06: You know what I'm saying?
9:58
SPEAKER_06: Kind of like alien-esque.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: Which Luigi are you talking about?
10:03
SPEAKER_06: Wa Luigi.
10:04
SPEAKER_06: Wa Luigi is the um like evil Luigi.
10:07
SPEAKER_06: I see.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: I thought you were talking about the other Luigi.
10:10
SPEAKER_06: Oh, Mangioni?
10:11
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
10:11
SPEAKER_06: I thought you were gonna say I could play for a different race.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: That's where I thought you were going to.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: That's great.
10:17
SPEAKER_06: Which is cool.
10:18
SPEAKER_06: I like that too.
10:19
SPEAKER_06: Like, I've been called Puerto Rican, like that was fun.
10:22
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
10:23
SPEAKER_06: That's like it's honorable.
10:26
SPEAKER_06: I love being called anything but white.
10:28
SPEAKER_06: Really?
10:29
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
10:30
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
10:30
SPEAKER_06: See, I feel that.
10:31
SPEAKER_06: I get it.
10:32
SPEAKER_06: But also, like, there you there's gotta, you're very to me, like you, you are who you are.
10:37
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, so it's like that's kind of me where it's like people are like people are like uh oh, you're Italian, you're not white, and it's like I'm fucking white.
10:48
SPEAKER_06: I may not get all of the privilege.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: Like Northern Italians are they look basically white, you know what I mean?
10:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm yeah, I'm deep south.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
10:56
SPEAKER_05: I'm deep south.
10:57
SPEAKER_05: All right, if you weren't white before, you're it'd like you're a chai guy now.
11:00
SPEAKER_05: So you're as Caucasian as it gets at this point.
11:03
SPEAKER_06: I'm hitting Sephora after this.
11:06
SPEAKER_06: I'm getting pretty, dude.
11:08
SPEAKER_06: I'm getting fucking pretty, dog.
11:10
SPEAKER_06: It's got a glitter dyes beard.
11:13
SPEAKER_06: No, no, I watched clips of the pod too.
11:15
SPEAKER_06: Oh and I liked it.
11:16
SPEAKER_06: And I love the concept too.
11:18
SPEAKER_06: So I was like, I did my little scan.
11:22
SPEAKER_06: I was like, oh, this is cool.
11:23
SPEAKER_06: Y'all seem fucking you know, y'all seem really cool.
11:25
SPEAKER_06: So I appreciate that.
11:26
SPEAKER_05: That's cool.
11:26
SPEAKER_05: Thank you very much.
11:27
SPEAKER_05: It's very people like us, yeah.
11:29
SPEAKER_05: People like us, dude.
11:32
SPEAKER_01: Uh so my husband said you, my husband, we were had the privilege of seeing you.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: I told you this, uh, in Savannah at an arena.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: That was pretty freaking cool.
11:42
SPEAKER_06: Oh, that's crazy.
11:42
SPEAKER_06: Isn't that crazy in Savannah?
11:45
SPEAKER_01: I know.
11:45
SPEAKER_06: How does that happen?
11:46
SPEAKER_01: It's wild.
11:46
SPEAKER_06: Well, what's it like performing in an arena?
11:49
SPEAKER_06: Um it's it's pretty insane.
11:52
SPEAKER_06: Like, uh, obviously it wasn't me.
11:55
SPEAKER_06: Big shout out to um Bert Kreischer.
11:58
SPEAKER_06: Um, he blessed me with a lot of great opportunities on those shows.
12:05
SPEAKER_06: Um I like growing up in I started in San Francisco and I was a part of a crew called Hella Funny.
12:11
SPEAKER_06: Um, and my buddy Stroy Moyd, he was a like he's just a great comic and a marketing genius.
12:17
SPEAKER_06: And so he would put together these like big shows.
12:20
SPEAKER_06: Like we'd be in like these big places, but it would be like the floor, it'd be like three, five hundred people.
12:26
SPEAKER_06: And the first time I did an arena was in um Louisiana, I think, like Lafayette, and it was like big, big arena.
12:36
SPEAKER_06: And I got there early and I saw them like setting up the chairs on the floor.
12:40
SPEAKER_06: It's like three, five hundred people, and I was like, okay, I got this.
12:43
SPEAKER_06: I was like, I've done this before.
12:45
SPEAKER_06: And then I came out like 10 minutes before showtime, and then the whole stands.
12:49
SPEAKER_06: The stand.
12:50
SPEAKER_06: I didn't even like think.
12:53
SPEAKER_06: To me, to me, I was like, there's no, this doesn't fill up.
12:57
SPEAKER_06: Like, how does this it do?
12:59
SPEAKER_06: I don't even know that this many people is like possible for a comedy show.
13:02
SPEAKER_06: And you go, I'm like, huh, and uh yeah, bro.
13:08
SPEAKER_06: My buddy Shane like helped me through it.
13:11
SPEAKER_06: He was like, hey, he saw me, he saw like the initial, like, oh no.
13:16
SPEAKER_06: But uh he was just like, just you just have to stay in the pocket, and and it's just like any other room.
13:21
SPEAKER_06: Like, I've had sets where it feels like you know, 40 people in a tight, intimate room, and then you have sets where like I'm like I'm in my head going, I don't have this crowd right now, and there's a lot of them.
13:34
SPEAKER_05: That's part of the game, though.
13:36
SPEAKER_01: I have to oh sorry.
13:38
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say, I I got to see Adam Ray last night.
13:40
SPEAKER_06: Oh, he's the best.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: And he had okay, so the first opener was very funny, it was good, you know, whatever.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: But he did kind of crowd work and it was the grove of Anaheims.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you've ever performed there or not.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: It's it's kind of like a big room but high ceilings.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: So a little hard to do the crowd work thing because we were like in the middle section.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: He had screens, but there that usually helps, but there was no, he didn't have it up.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: There was no like you couldn't see what was going on.
14:07
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that's that's the hard part.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: And he wasn't necessarily repeating, which I think you do wonderfully.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: I I'm not very good at what you mean.
14:15
SPEAKER_06: Like you have to like repeat what they said.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you're in a small room.
14:19
SPEAKER_01: I don't, you don't necessarily this room you needed to, and it was a little hard to hear.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: We were a little bit further back, so it was a little hard to hear.
14:25
SPEAKER_01: The second comic um lost control of the room and their a fight broke out.
14:30
SPEAKER_05: Yes, dude.
14:31
SPEAKER_01: And Adam Ray.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm like of all the comics, Adam Ray, there's a fight that broke out.
14:36
SPEAKER_06: Oh that checks out.
14:37
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you got the Dr.
14:38
SPEAKER_06: Phil crowd, it's a little that well, he wasn't doing Phil though, he was being Adam.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:42
SPEAKER_01: So, but it's so that was it was very interesting.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: And then um, so I thought, oh, poor Adam like what he's gonna walk out to because it was just pandemonium at a point.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: So finally, when he comes out, he ended up um he had a couple, you know, he actually brought someone up to the front of the stage to like interview, and the woman was drunk off of her ass, and it was so funny.
15:01
SPEAKER_06: And yeah, it's like uh I've heard like because I've heard Bert talk about like some of the shows where he's had openers like do um crowd work and lose the room.
15:09
SPEAKER_06: That's what you never want to do as an opener, right?
15:11
SPEAKER_06: Like especially if you're if it's someone big, it's like I I never want to do my material, but I also don't want to make it hard for the other person to like come back after that.
15:21
SPEAKER_06: Cause once you unlock that part of the show, it tells the crowd, like, oh, it's an interactive show.
15:26
SPEAKER_06: And it's like, no, no, no, I just have no bits.
15:29
SPEAKER_06: Um I'm trying to coast here.
15:31
SPEAKER_06: Like I just woke up 30 minutes ago, yeah.
15:34
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
15:35
SPEAKER_06: But that is nice, that is nice when you have because that's what I found.
15:38
SPEAKER_06: Because even in the arenas, I was talking to the crowd, yeah, and I was riffing on the room.
15:42
SPEAKER_06: Just but just because like you have the cameras, so they were very good at like filming the crowd, so and you could kind of hear everything, right?
15:51
SPEAKER_06: And it's like, oh, there's a big screen for everybody in the back, so it's not so one-on-one doing crowd work in an arena with one person, and there's 10,000 people behind.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was a little it was a little tough.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, but Adam's but I mean man, he came out so fast.
16:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, he's so funny.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: So funny.
16:06
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, he's so funny.
16:07
SPEAKER_06: He's a he's a he's a genius.
16:09
SPEAKER_06: I mean, when I when I started, he was like uh uh a name in uh in the scene, and it's like it's so cool to like see him like selling out big arenas, yeah.
16:22
SPEAKER_06: Like it's it's awesome.
16:24
SPEAKER_06: And he's a very sweet guy.
16:25
SPEAKER_06: I got to tour with him a little bit more.
16:26
SPEAKER_06: Oh, really?
16:27
SPEAKER_01: That's cool.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: Um, so is there so do you change what you do when you're on an arena stage versus a smaller stage?
16:35
SPEAKER_06: Not not not entirely, no.
16:37
SPEAKER_06: No, I I try to go I try to like be way more slow because you tend to speed up when you get nervous.
16:44
SPEAKER_06: So I try to be like cognizant of that, but no, I'm and there's also kind of probably an echo in an arena.
16:49
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, but like you know, it's funny, like I I used to hear that, like, oh sometimes the laugh takes a bit to like, but I don't think that's I think it's if you have a room, you have a room.
17:01
SPEAKER_06: You know what I'm saying?
17:02
SPEAKER_06: Like if you're killing and you're in the pocket, the laughs are coming back at you.
17:08
SPEAKER_06: Yep.
17:09
SPEAKER_06: So if you're if you're not doing that, well, yeah, there the echo, the echo comes.
17:14
SPEAKER_06: That silence is loud.
17:16
SPEAKER_04: That echo, that echo hurts.
17:18
SPEAKER_04: Damn, it's a hurtful echo, let me tell you.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: Is there anything performing in an arena that you couldn't have anticipated until you actually did it?
17:27
SPEAKER_06: That's a good fucking question.
17:29
SPEAKER_06: How how um, at least with the big TV screens, how minuscule you can play it and get like such a big laugh.
17:39
SPEAKER_06: Like, I I I was doing like tiny facial expressions after jokes, right?
17:45
SPEAKER_06: And like if I'm in, if I was like in the pocket and like holding it and like seeing it get that pop from like a like a smirk just because the cameras are on your face and it's like huge.
17:57
SPEAKER_06: So everybody in the arena sees it, so like that comes quick.
18:00
SPEAKER_06: That was how performative you could be, like you could actually let them come to you as opposed to like trying to perform for them.
18:08
SPEAKER_06: So it wasn't like theater where you're like, hey, like trying to be bigger, but it's like it's like theater in the fact that where you're like you're trying to you're like making it so like intimate, right?
18:18
SPEAKER_06: And they're uh uh intimate and you're like which is hard to do with that many people out there.
18:23
SPEAKER_06: You think you would think, but because like there's a screen behind you, and because like if you really are in the pocket and locked in and have the crowd, like you have you have 10,000 eyes on you, yeah.
18:32
SPEAKER_06: So you can really play it like very small and close to the close to the heart and have big reactions, which I thought you had to come out and be like, and I'm doing my dick jokes, it's it's tiny, you know.
18:47
SPEAKER_06: Jazz hands, everybody's jazz hands.
18:49
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, and that's I hate jazz hands.
18:51
SPEAKER_05: I've always had the philosophy that if you can make 50, 75, 100 people laugh, you can make fucking 10,000 a row.
18:58
SPEAKER_05: Four, bro.
18:59
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, four is the tough number.
19:01
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you know, you get like three, you know.
19:04
SPEAKER_06: I did San Diego one weekend and I sold seven tickets and four shows.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: And which San Diego spot?
19:10
SPEAKER_06: Um mic drop.
19:11
SPEAKER_06: Okay, and and and and we did those shows, and one show was one person, one show was three people, one show was two per and it was just like this is the worst weekend of my life.
19:20
SPEAKER_06: It was literally after an arena weekend.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you actually took my next question.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: So I was gonna say outdoor doing an arena, do you walk into a 200-seater or a seven-seater and think, oh, isn't this adorable?
19:31
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, after yeah, you you you you question, you you do a lot of questioning.
19:38
SPEAKER_06: You're like, I'm in a batting cages right now, yeah.
19:41
SPEAKER_06: Um, but uh there is like a breath of fresh air, like to to go from all these people to like really just making the core, like a core group laugh.
19:56
SPEAKER_06: It feels um just feels different, dude.
19:59
SPEAKER_06: It feels just like I love a good intimate show.
20:02
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, man, like 50 to 100 people, and you can just fucking capture their attention the whole fucking time.
20:08
SPEAKER_05: And then sometimes I see all of them so you know you have them.
20:12
SPEAKER_06: And that's that's yeah, that's that's the cool thing of like uh of just like switching up that gear to where you feel like oh okay, this it it it feels same, same but different.
20:24
SPEAKER_06: Like um sometimes you just I feel a little more like honed in on the craft a little bit.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: Um so you don't like jazz hands, do you like tapping toes?
20:39
SPEAKER_06: No, no, no river dancing, no jazz hands.
20:44
SPEAKER_06: I don't like watching high school musical.
20:46
SPEAKER_06: I actually don't like musicals.
20:48
SPEAKER_06: Oh um uh to to a point play uh like actual like going to the to a musical show, sure, but like musical.
20:55
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:56
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, but I'm not gonna sit there and watch it.
20:58
SPEAKER_06: But I I think my favorite part of watching someone is feeling like I know them and feeling like they're not performing for me.
21:04
SPEAKER_06: Like they are they're I'm like just I'm getting that piece behind the curtain.
21:10
SPEAKER_06: Like their brain.
21:11
SPEAKER_06: I want to know what they're actually what the pain is, I guess, behind them.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: I want to make this all about you, but I'm gonna make it about me for saying that's one thing I get my feedback about is that I'm a little too performative.
21:23
SPEAKER_06: Sure.
21:23
SPEAKER_06: So it's when did you start?
21:25
SPEAKER_01: Uh about a year and a half ago.
21:26
SPEAKER_06: Oh dog, you got years before that fucking paids.
21:30
SPEAKER_06: Oh, there's a lot of competitions before that before you just go, ah, fuck it.
21:36
SPEAKER_06: You know?
21:38
SPEAKER_06: It's this is the worst.
21:40
SPEAKER_06: That's when it becomes good.
21:41
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
21:41
SPEAKER_06: Is when you start being like uh I I I don't know what it is, but it's like uh it took me a long time to really I mean it took me like six, seven years before I was even getting any laughs.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: I probably really I oh yeah I find that hard to believe.
21:57
SPEAKER_06: I appreciate that.
21:58
SPEAKER_06: And people say that, but if you ask uh Uh uh comics that started with me.
22:02
SPEAKER_06: I was I was the worst.
22:03
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
22:04
SPEAKER_06: I was the worst comic to ever start comedy.
22:08
SPEAKER_06: You got any video footage?
22:10
SPEAKER_06: Oh.
22:10
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I just watched like a competition set from like two years in.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
22:16
SPEAKER_06: And I I didn't even watch it.
22:19
SPEAKER_06: I uh my buddy Morgan was like, oh we gotta send we're sending in like old clips, and I was like, I'm not.
22:24
SPEAKER_06: He's like, you just gotta find something, I'm gonna do mine.
22:27
SPEAKER_06: And so I had like an archived privated competition set from like two years in.
22:35
SPEAKER_06: It made me like sick to my stomach.
22:37
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's how my first mic is, dude.
22:39
SPEAKER_06: I can't watch the video, dude.
22:40
SPEAKER_06: Just like running fast, yeah, like fast, and I'm like, I can tell I'm fucking doing this and just disgusting.
22:50
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, disgusting.
22:51
SPEAKER_06: It took a long time, but I think that's when comics get really funny, is when when I go, ooh, they're having a meltdown.
23:00
SPEAKER_06: And then if you could control that into like your set, that's where it, that's where it my buddy did like the greatest set I've ever seen him do.
23:08
SPEAKER_06: Like he like transformed in front of my eyes because he didn't get he was that the acid or my buddy Joey Avery, like he's always been very funny, but like he transcended this one night because he was supposed to go to India for a wedding.
23:30
SPEAKER_06: His buddy was getting married, you know, and Indian weddings are like insane.
23:34
SPEAKER_06: Multiple days, and it's like a it's like an event.
23:37
SPEAKER_06: And so he's flying to India and he booked his tickets with like his buddy, his mom, who's a travel agent, and they he didn't get a visa.
23:45
SPEAKER_06: He didn't know you had to get a visa.
23:47
SPEAKER_06: Oh no.
23:48
SPEAKER_06: And so like I said goodbye to him, and then I like went to the mic, and then I show back up and he's like at one of these shows.
23:53
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, what the hell?
23:55
SPEAKER_06: And it's because like he got to the airport and he's like scanning tickets, like show visa, and he was like, We'll be fine.
24:03
SPEAKER_06: Is MasterCard okay?
24:04
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, straight up, straight up, and he gets to the ticket counter of him and his wife now, uh, and they're like your visa.
24:14
SPEAKER_06: And he's like, Yeah, so we don't have one.
24:16
SPEAKER_06: They're like, they're and and so he's trying to do his thing, like figure it out.
24:19
SPEAKER_06: Well, what if we, what if, would he, what if we and the ticket led the lady at the just looked at him, she's like, You need to stop?
24:29
SPEAKER_06: There is no possible way you are getting to India in the next two days.
24:32
SPEAKER_06: And or like and his wife like was like, make her stop.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: But like, let's go back.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: His mom is a travel agent, and his buddy's mom was.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
24:44
SPEAKER_06: And so this now, I there is a blame that you can place, but like, no, dog, that's on you.
24:51
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you're going to a different country.
24:52
SPEAKER_06: That's on you, dog.
24:53
SPEAKER_06: You gotta figure that out.
24:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you know you need a temporary ticket.
24:56
SPEAKER_06: You booked Indian tickets, yeah, and you don't know if you gotta get a visa or not.
25:01
SPEAKER_06: Like, that's insanity.
25:02
SPEAKER_06: Did he at least have a passport?
25:04
SPEAKER_06: He had a passport, sure.
25:05
SPEAKER_06: They have to get him.
25:07
SPEAKER_06: That got him in the Uber back to the open mic.
25:10
SPEAKER_06: But like he got back, he got back, and I like walked in on him like going up on stage and just bitching about this Indian fiasco, and he's like, you know, just and I watched him like I was like, oh, there it is.
25:25
SPEAKER_06: Because it was real, it was real, it was like that juice, and I was like, oh my god, like that crushed, huh?
25:31
SPEAKER_06: Oh, he was yeah, murdering, just being like, fuck India, fuck the country, America's better anyway.
25:42
SPEAKER_06: Like, just so hurt, you know, just throw up, but like this is in San Francisco?
25:47
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, this is in San Francisco.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: How'd that hit with the Indian portion of the crowd?
25:50
SPEAKER_06: Oh, they loved it.
25:52
SPEAKER_06: They because it was it was so unwarranted, yeah.
25:56
SPEAKER_06: You know, it was just but um, yeah, it was it was great.
25:59
SPEAKER_06: It was just such a great, great thing.
26:02
SPEAKER_06: That's that's where the the like oh this is this feels real to me.
26:06
SPEAKER_06: And if you can like copy that and make every set like that, that's where it's good.
26:10
SPEAKER_06: Those are my favorite comics, at least.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: Now, switching gears just a little bit.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: You're also a golfer.
26:17
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: And when when did you start doing that?
26:19
SPEAKER_06: Uh I started like when I was like 20, like really plain, like 21, 22.
26:25
SPEAKER_05: Do you wear the fishing vest over your polo shirt?
26:28
SPEAKER_06: So well, no, I don't wear a polo shirt under my I pretty much just go fishing vests or any sort of shirt, yeah.
26:34
SPEAKER_06: No shirt, but vest, you know, because it's a golf course.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: You have to it's a vest with a collar.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: You gotta be tasteful.
26:41
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
26:42
SPEAKER_06: No, there's no collar.
26:43
SPEAKER_06: I still, I still cheat that as well.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: Do you one time?
26:47
SPEAKER_01: No.
26:47
SPEAKER_01: So we're uh I don't golf, but I have golf, and we're gonna play like nine on a Sunday.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: And one of the guys started bitching at me because I didn't have a collared shirt.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I had to go and buy a collared shirt.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: It is no it was literally insane.
27:02
SPEAKER_06: No, it's my it's my it's such a it's such a dumb, dumb thing.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: It's not like I was wearing a tank top, you know what I'm saying, that was like like a deep v-neck that was inappropriate.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: I had like a sweater on that had a crew neck.
27:19
SPEAKER_06: No, you need to put a collar on so that we can disrespect women verbally in private, because that's what it's okay.
27:27
SPEAKER_06: No, one time I like showed up, which I never wear shorts, but like it was hot one time.
27:34
SPEAKER_06: I forget what we were playing, and they were trying to like, oh, you can't wear shorts, or they're trying to make me buy pants.
27:40
SPEAKER_06: And I was like, no, I'm good.
27:42
SPEAKER_06: And I just like picked up like uh they had like a woman's one piece, and I was like, I'll just wear this.
27:48
SPEAKER_01: Stop it.
27:48
SPEAKER_06: And they were like, I was like, you're gonna tell me I'm uh like I'd rather wear a fucking leotard than than like have someone tell me what I can and can't wear on the course because ultimately it's just racism.
28:03
SPEAKER_01: Hot take, you should just wear a kilt.
28:06
SPEAKER_06: That's the thing, yeah.
28:07
SPEAKER_06: But I'm not I don't have kilts, okay?
28:10
SPEAKER_06: Well, there's not a lot of pockets and I wear things with pockets that I don't use.
28:14
SPEAKER_06: No, I'm not gonna, but I I I just hate that the kilt comes with the fanny pack for that, right?
28:19
SPEAKER_06: Yes, I understand.
28:20
SPEAKER_06: It's a little thing, but that's where I keep my drugs.
28:23
SPEAKER_06: So I need also I need also like teas and balls and stuff.
28:27
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, the but yeah, just I I guess like the conformity of golf is like such a disgust.
28:33
SPEAKER_06: It's just like yucked.
28:35
SPEAKER_05: But they stop me before I make it all the way into the parking lot.
28:38
SPEAKER_05: Fuck, they stop me before I'm every 07 Ford escape and my fucking SpongeBob shirt, and they're like, Yeah, this guy doesn't fucking belong here.
28:45
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, can we help you?
28:48
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's it's it's it's pretty uh I I I really I don't respect the the dress code thing.
28:56
SPEAKER_06: I think it's it's really stupid.
28:57
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I think it's way outdated.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: Without naming names, have you played with any professional golfers?
29:02
SPEAKER_06: Oh yeah.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: What's more intimidating?
29:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh doing comedy in front of thousands of people or teeing off with a professional golfer watching you.
29:10
SPEAKER_06: Uh that is definitely the more intimidating because like you just you feel it.
29:17
SPEAKER_06: You can feel the stare in the back of your head.
29:20
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, like you can just feel it and like um the judgment.
29:23
SPEAKER_06: The judgment.
29:24
SPEAKER_06: Uh oh, I'll I'll say this.
29:26
SPEAKER_06: I'll most professional golfers like give you like they know how hard and how much dedication it takes.
29:37
SPEAKER_06: And so uh most of them are like they're not gonna be like shitting on you because you're not in the slot, you know?
29:47
SPEAKER_06: Um, and they just kind of want to help.
29:49
SPEAKER_06: I think most people just want to help.
29:51
SPEAKER_06: Uh but you definitely don't want to look like an asshole in front of them.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:56
SPEAKER_06: With comedy, it's like, listen, man, anyone can get it at any given moment.
30:02
SPEAKER_06: It's like a fight.
30:03
SPEAKER_06: Like you're uh there's no muscle memory.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: It's it's oh I think there is.
30:08
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, sure, but but I look at it's it's a show, like golf is like such a fined tuned like thing.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
30:18
SPEAKER_06: Um comedy, it's it really is like you can you get knocked out any given Sunday.
30:25
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, oh yeah.
30:26
SPEAKER_01: Do you think being a comedian helps you laugh off a bad round?
30:31
SPEAKER_06: Hmm.
30:32
SPEAKER_01: Or does it just mask the meltdown?
30:34
SPEAKER_06: It definitely just masks the meltdown.
30:37
SPEAKER_06: A bad round in golf is is is it really makes you question everything.
30:43
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
30:44
SPEAKER_06: Because you you you're like, wait, am I in a different timeline?
30:50
SPEAKER_06: And because you think you f every time you play good, you think you figured it out, and then the very next time it's like such a great equalizer.
30:57
SPEAKER_06: That is the thing, I guess, where comedy differs.
31:00
SPEAKER_06: Like you can kind of get on, you know, a little roll.
31:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:05
SPEAKER_06: You still bomb.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: So have you ever hit a hole in one?
31:08
SPEAKER_06: No hole in ones yet.
31:10
SPEAKER_06: No hole in ones yet.
31:11
SPEAKER_06: I probably will never get one, but I throw darts.
31:14
SPEAKER_06: I'm I'm right next to there.
31:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:16
SPEAKER_06: But you know what?
31:17
SPEAKER_06: I just don't see it for myself.
31:18
SPEAKER_06: And that's okay.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Have you ever been in a group where one has been oh yeah, yeah, a lot.
31:22
SPEAKER_06: A couple of times.
31:23
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
31:24
SPEAKER_06: It's pretty insane.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:25
SPEAKER_06: It's pretty insane.
31:25
SPEAKER_06: I've watched like I watched one uh buddy like get like multiple.
31:30
SPEAKER_06: Not not in the same round, but I've like seen him dunk it multiple times.
31:34
SPEAKER_06: That's amazing.
31:34
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's it's stupid.
31:36
SPEAKER_01: So I have a whole one story.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: My husband's best friends are professional poker players.
31:41
SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
31:41
SPEAKER_01: That's their day job.
31:42
SPEAKER_06: Professional what players?
31:43
SPEAKER_01: Poker players.
31:44
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
31:45
SPEAKER_01: That's their day job.
31:46
SPEAKER_06: Sick.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: And they're also former collegiate golfers.
31:49
SPEAKER_06: As they as they normally are.
31:51
SPEAKER_01: Right.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: So they gamble on everything.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: Literally, they'll find a quarter, they'll be like, How much?
31:58
SPEAKER_01: I'll pay you 50 bucks if you can guess the date, the year that this coin was made.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't know.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: I don't owe any money if I get it wrong.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: They're like, no.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, 1967.
32:08
SPEAKER_01: No, hold on, hold on.
32:09
SPEAKER_01: 1999.
32:10
SPEAKER_01: They're like, holy shit.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: And then they give me 50 bucks.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: So it's up great.
32:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:13
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, so gamble.
32:15
SPEAKER_01: Well, I didn't have to pay anything if I lost.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: So okay, so their names are Dustin, Jerry, and Ivan, and they always play together.
32:20
SPEAKER_01: All right.
32:21
SPEAKER_01: And they have this bet where if one of them, while they're golfing together, hits a hole in one, the guy who gets a hole in one gets to pick the tattoo that the other two guys get.
32:32
SPEAKER_01: None of these guys have tattoos.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: That's cool.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: So it's been going on for quite a while.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: All right.
32:36
SPEAKER_02: That's really cool.
32:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, one day, Jerry and Dustin are playing at Edgewood in Tahoe.
32:41
SPEAKER_01: That's where they play.
32:42
SPEAKER_02: Great course.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
32:43
SPEAKER_01: And uh Jerry gets it on 17, gets a hole in one.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: And he is like, you know what?
32:49
SPEAKER_01: No, we're good.
32:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't need to get the tattoo.
32:52
SPEAKER_01: I don't need to pick one.
32:53
SPEAKER_01: And Dustin's like, we're getting the tattoo.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: Because Jerry doesn't want to be hunted down the road.
32:59
SPEAKER_01: All right.
33:00
SPEAKER_01: He he knows one day it's going to come for him and he's going to have to get a tattoo.
33:03
SPEAKER_01: Very smart.
33:03
SPEAKER_01: Very smart.
33:04
SPEAKER_01: So he ends up picking a tattoo of a sloth chugging a beer on 17 because the hole in one was on 17.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: Sloth is Jerry's spirit animal.
33:15
SPEAKER_06: I like Jerry.
33:17
SPEAKER_01: But it took Dustin two months to get the tattoo because he got it by a guy named Corndog.
33:22
SPEAKER_01: And apparently corndog was booked up, so we had to wait until you post.
33:27
SPEAKER_01: Now, if you're in that circle, are you taking that bet?
33:30
SPEAKER_06: Oh hell yeah.
33:32
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
33:32
SPEAKER_06: But I also have dumb tattoos.
33:34
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
33:34
SPEAKER_06: Like I don't care.
33:35
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
33:36
SPEAKER_06: I think it's like that's good.
33:38
SPEAKER_06: Uh but I also wouldn't take it for myself.
33:40
SPEAKER_06: Like I'm making my buddies get a tattoo.
33:42
SPEAKER_06: Well, of my Jerry, Jerry.
33:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
33:44
SPEAKER_01: Jerry didn't have to get the tattoo.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: So he gets it for the other people.
33:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he could have picked his face.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: The person getting the tattoo has to can pick where it goes.
33:53
SPEAKER_01: So but because Ivan wasn't okay.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: But because Ivan wasn't golfing on a day, Ivan doesn't get the tattoo.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: So he only does it.
34:00
SPEAKER_05: Where it goes is die.
34:01
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's ridiculous.
34:02
SPEAKER_06: No, if it's a lifelong buddy agreement, like, dude, you're getting the tattoo if you're not there or not.
34:07
SPEAKER_06: Like that's that's insane, right?
34:10
SPEAKER_06: Like you're getting the tattoo uh no matter what, even if you're not there.
34:15
SPEAKER_06: That's not that's not my fault.
34:16
SPEAKER_06: You didn't get you didn't wake up and I think that's valid.
34:18
SPEAKER_06: You know?
34:19
SPEAKER_06: I think that's completely valid.
34:20
SPEAKER_01: What tattoo are you picking for someone?
34:23
SPEAKER_05: Oh man, that's a fucking that's a that's a hard question.
34:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, because like I would be so torn between like being cool and being like wicked, you know.
34:37
SPEAKER_05: I'm wicked 100%.
34:38
SPEAKER_06: That's what I'm saying, bro.
34:39
SPEAKER_06: Like, but like me and my buddy, like I got my first tattoo was stay up, and uh my buddy got a tattoo to make fun of me, and his says sit down.
34:49
SPEAKER_06: Like we don't ever care.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: Like cute matching tattoos.
34:52
SPEAKER_06: I know it is kind of true, but we just I I we always like I just got dumb tattoos, so I think it's cool to look back and be like, I have stay up tattooed on me.
35:03
SPEAKER_06: I got a scrub right there.
35:04
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, see?
35:06
SPEAKER_06: And it looks like shit.
35:07
SPEAKER_06: Oh, dude, my stay up looks like it says gay up, which is like the best part.
35:14
SPEAKER_01: It was like gay up.
35:16
SPEAKER_06: I'm like, hell yeah, dude, gay up.
35:18
SPEAKER_01: Well, the crime I'm gonna talk about today isn't actually a crime, it's a scam, more or less.
35:23
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
35:23
SPEAKER_05: Isn't that isn't it scam a crime?
35:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh well, it's it's not prosecuted.
35:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is yeah, this was not a prosecuted crime.
35:30
SPEAKER_05: It's all alleged.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: Well, it happens.
35:33
SPEAKER_05: They never went to like court for it or they beat it.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't pro so no one brought charges.
35:40
SPEAKER_05: Oh there's no criminal charges.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
35:42
SPEAKER_01: But this is a fresh one, so I mean it could still happen.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you might have already heard of it.
35:46
SPEAKER_01: Possible.
35:48
SPEAKER_01: So it's a hole-in-one scam.
35:50
SPEAKER_06: Oh.
35:51
SPEAKER_01: Did you hear about this?
35:52
SPEAKER_06: Maybe possibly.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so there was a member-member tournament going on in Missouri, and there was a$5,000 award or prize if you hit a hole in one with your group.
36:03
SPEAKER_02: $5,000?
36:03
SPEAKER_01: $5,000.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
36:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:06
SPEAKER_02: $5,000.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: $5,000.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: If you get a hole in one as prize money, you get$5,000.
36:11
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
36:12
SPEAKER_01: All right.
36:12
SPEAKER_01: So this guy named Zach Holland, he gets a hole in one.
36:16
SPEAKER_01: And at the start of the tournament, he knows his group is going first.
36:19
SPEAKER_01: And he tells his boys, he's like, look, he's like, at some point today, I'm going to have to make an important phone call.
36:26
SPEAKER_01: My grandma's in the hospital.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: She's she's dying.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: And when that happens, I'll let you know.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, yeah, totally understand.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: Grandma's dying.
36:33
SPEAKER_01: Got it.
36:34
SPEAKER_01: So third hole, he putts and he's like, you know what?
36:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to make my call.
36:38
SPEAKER_01: What I'm going to do is I'm going to go ahead on the fourth hole.
36:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to tee up and then I'm going to take the call.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: And then I'll catch up with you guys.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: So then that way the rate of play, it doesn't get disrupt disrupted.
36:50
SPEAKER_01: Right.
36:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
36:51
SPEAKER_01: So he tees off on four.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: And then his friends come up and they're like, hey, where where's your ball, man?
36:56
SPEAKER_01: He's like, I don't know.
36:56
SPEAKER_01: I thinned it, but I'm not sure where it went.
36:58
SPEAKER_06: Oh, he thinned it.
36:59
SPEAKER_06: And they're like, I'm not sure where.
37:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure where.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: So they're like, okay.
37:02
SPEAKER_01: So they get to the green and they're like, oh, there's a di there's a divot.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: Your ball is in the hole.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: You got a hole in one.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: And they record it, they're having the best time.
37:12
SPEAKER_01: He's like, no way, I can't believe this.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: This is amazing.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: They get back to the clubhouse and the other members are like, oh, so you saw him tee up.
37:20
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, no.
37:21
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, you didn't see him tee up.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: This sounds a little suspicious, doesn't it?
37:27
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that seems legit to me.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: So they're like, we want to see the replay.
37:31
SPEAKER_01: There's no replay in golf, right?
37:33
SPEAKER_01: So what do you do?
37:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, if you go to a member member club, they have video, they have security footage.
37:38
SPEAKER_08: Oh, I bet.
37:39
SPEAKER_01: So they go back through the security footage.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, our guy Zach, he put it in the hole, but he put it in the hole a few hours before the tournament.
37:48
SPEAKER_02: No way.
37:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he he went there in the morning, put the ball in the hole.
37:54
SPEAKER_06: For a$5,000 member member hole in one?
37:58
SPEAKER_06: Was it a part?
37:59
SPEAKER_06: What was the part?
38:00
SPEAKER_01: Three, three par.
38:01
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
38:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:02
SPEAKER_05: Then yeah, he could.
38:03
SPEAKER_05: See, he did it dumb.
38:04
SPEAKER_05: He could have just well he could have just waited for them and then fucking smacked that ever living shit out of the ball.
38:12
SPEAKER_06: And fucking immediately I'm on Antonio's side.
38:15
SPEAKER_06: Like that's uh 1000%.
38:18
SPEAKER_06: Send that bitch clear over the fucking green.
38:20
SPEAKER_05: If you really thin it, hell yeah.
38:22
SPEAKER_05: That way you can't see it.
38:23
SPEAKER_05: And then fucking be like, damn, I wonder where it went.
38:27
SPEAKER_05: It's in the cup.
38:28
SPEAKER_06: But so and no, he never got.
38:31
SPEAKER_06: Well, obviously he didn't get persecuted because it was the prosecuted.
38:36
SPEAKER_01: He probably got persecuted for his friends.
38:38
SPEAKER_06: Prosecuted.
38:41
SPEAKER_06: Welcome back to the show.
38:42
SPEAKER_06: I get one fucking chai in me.
38:43
SPEAKER_06: I try to sound like an attorney at law.
38:47
SPEAKER_06: Anyway, objection overruled.
38:49
SPEAKER_06: Uh sustained.
38:51
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
38:51
SPEAKER_06: The uh small's attorney at all.
38:56
SPEAKER_06: Uh uh yeah.
38:59
SPEAKER_06: Let me talk to my clients about this.
39:02
SPEAKER_01: If you don't see him hit, you must have quit.
39:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
39:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh shit.
39:10
SPEAKER_06: Hey, quick reminder: this is not legal advice.
39:15
SPEAKER_06: I always like think about the alternate timeline of the OJ trial where he goes, like, if the glove don't fit, you must have quit.
39:22
SPEAKER_06: And then he puts on the glove and it like, and they're like, fuck.
39:26
SPEAKER_06: It fits like a glove.
39:29
SPEAKER_06: Like, that's the timeline I want to be at.
39:32
SPEAKER_06: Uh do you do that as a bit?
39:34
SPEAKER_06: No.
39:34
SPEAKER_06: Write that down.
39:38
SPEAKER_06: It's like, holy shit.
39:39
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, write that down.
39:40
SPEAKER_06: That's fucking funny, dog.
39:45
SPEAKER_06: I I first off, I blame the I don't know if you've ever been to like a whole like a tournament where there's like a hole-in-one challenge.
39:53
SPEAKER_06: Uh-huh.
39:54
SPEAKER_06: It's usually like an Asuzu rodeo.
39:57
SPEAKER_06: There's two to three older women that are like the because they got it's insurance.
40:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you buy the insurance.
40:06
SPEAKER_06: You buy the insurance.
40:07
SPEAKER_06: They didn't have insurance at this hole-in-one thing.
40:09
SPEAKER_06: Well, I'm sure.
40:10
SPEAKER_06: You're just giving it out$5,000.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm sure there's probably part of the fee to do it.
40:16
SPEAKER_06: Yes, but there's usually at if you've ever been to a hole in one challenge, I like a goal.
40:25
SPEAKER_06: Now look what it sounds like.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: He's been to a hole-in-one contest, but different.
40:29
SPEAKER_01: It was in prison.
40:30
SPEAKER_06: Different holes.
40:35
SPEAKER_06: That was just me trying to be inclusive.
40:37
SPEAKER_05: We just talked about this, bro.
40:38
SPEAKER_05: They stopped me at the end of our stuff.
40:40
SPEAKER_06: But he just gave me the he gave me the sweetest smirk.
40:45
SPEAKER_06: Oh man, I was so loving.
40:48
SPEAKER_06: Like, come on, dog.
40:49
SPEAKER_06: Uh they you will like show up, you'll see the shitty silver Suzu Rodeo or whatever.
40:58
SPEAKER_06: Sometimes the Mercedes like Benz from two years ago.
41:01
SPEAKER_06: And it's like, this is what you want to do.
41:03
SPEAKER_01: Only 7,000 miles on it.
41:04
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, is yeah.
41:05
SPEAKER_06: Somehow there's always 13,000.
41:09
SPEAKER_06: It's and or and the Carfax.
41:12
SPEAKER_06: Dude, it's yeah, it's salvage title most of the time.
41:17
SPEAKER_06: Um, like dude, they still make kiosk borders.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: For purposes of today, sure.
41:23
SPEAKER_06: And there's and there's like, then there's like at the hole, there's usually three to four, like uh maybe they're adjusters, maybe they're hired guns, but they sit there with like not always a camera, it's just eyeball witness, but with their little beach chairs, and they make sure you watch and it's like legal and valid.
41:44
SPEAKER_06: That way there's no scamming.
41:46
SPEAKER_06: If there's no if there's no how are you not supposed to be able to do that, that's what I'm saying.
41:51
SPEAKER_06: I feel like that's standard practice.
41:54
SPEAKER_06: And what I'm taking money from these these these these rich guys at the club.
41:58
SPEAKER_05: On the other hand, though, the the club where our guy fucking got in trouble at, they had security cameras.
42:05
SPEAKER_01: So this guy.
42:06
SPEAKER_05: I guess, yeah.
42:07
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:07
SPEAKER_06: I guess they could always run back the cameras in that situation.
42:10
SPEAKER_06: So yeah, but that's to make sure that that's not for insurance fraud, that's to make sure that nobody's entering the clubhouse without a collared shirt on.
42:18
SPEAKER_01: Or, okay, sorry.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: My husband's actually gonna watch this episode, he told me, but um, because of you, not because of me, but I like this guy.
42:31
SPEAKER_01: One time he went to get his bag out of uh storage, right?
42:37
SPEAKER_01: And uh they're like, yeah, it's not down here.
42:39
SPEAKER_01: He's like, What?
42:39
SPEAKER_01: And he's my husband's like the nicest guy.
42:41
SPEAKER_01: He's seriously like so nice.
42:43
SPEAKER_05: He really is.
42:43
SPEAKER_05: He's great.
42:44
SPEAKER_01: And he's he's like, What?
42:46
SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's gotta be down there.
42:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, no, they're like, You can come down.
42:48
SPEAKER_01: So he's like, I waste everybody's time.
42:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm down there, can't find the bag.
42:52
SPEAKER_01: He's like, That's it.
42:52
SPEAKER_01: Someone stole the bag, and he's upset.
42:54
SPEAKER_01: And so he has to get a loaner bag because he was gonna go play with someone else, right?
42:58
SPEAKER_01: So he he gets home and he's just all upset because I don't know, someone stole my bag, so I have to get new clubs.
43:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm I don't know, I don't know.
43:05
SPEAKER_01: They call and they're laughing their ass off security, is laughing their ass.
43:08
SPEAKER_01: They're like, Um, yeah, we sent you a video to your text message, you're not gonna watch it.
43:12
SPEAKER_01: And it's literally him carrying his bag out to his car and putting it in his back of his car.
43:18
SPEAKER_01: It was in the trunk of his car.
43:19
SPEAKER_01: He didn't realize and he didn't remember.
43:21
SPEAKER_01: Maybe, maybe, oh no, maybe one or two, too many Shirley Temples, if you know what I mean.
43:26
SPEAKER_01: And uh it was so funny.
43:29
SPEAKER_05: And this guy passed the bar.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: That's he's well, and he's a killer, so yeah.
43:39
SPEAKER_08: That was pretty funny.
43:40
SPEAKER_06: That does something I that's where my brain goes, like, oh my god, they're gonna think I'm trying to scam a new golf bag.
43:45
SPEAKER_06: He was foreshadowing he wanted to be a topic on the podcast.
43:48
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
43:50
SPEAKER_08: That's right, that's right.
43:51
SPEAKER_01: Um, so do you think it's worse that he lied about the hole in one or that he lied about the sick grandma?
43:56
SPEAKER_01: That's my question.
43:58
SPEAKER_06: Um, yeah, sick grandma, you know he's.
44:00
SPEAKER_06: Use that excuse too.
44:01
SPEAKER_06: I use the excuse.
44:05
SPEAKER_06: My grandma has died like seven or eight times.
44:07
SPEAKER_06: Nah, I try not to do that.
44:09
SPEAKER_06: They've already passed.
44:09
SPEAKER_06: I don't do it before.
44:11
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
44:11
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, put it on the live one.
44:13
SPEAKER_05: I tell people my dad is sick all the time.
44:15
SPEAKER_05: I just don't know that motherfucker.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: My grandma has fallen a number of times after she's after she's passed away.
44:23
SPEAKER_01: It's weird.
44:23
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
44:24
SPEAKER_06: Keep telling her to buy life alert, but I'm gonna go.
44:28
SPEAKER_06: Me and my buddies have a me and my buddy Fats have a good one because we would always like uh, you know, we used to sell weed back in the day, and and it would be like allegedly.
44:37
SPEAKER_06: Yeah allegedly statue of limitations.
44:40
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's gotta be up by that.
44:42
SPEAKER_06: Um and uh we always had like these cues because you would always be like, oh, we got pulled over, but then you couldn't, you couldn't sometimes they would ask, oh, where's the ticket?
44:52
SPEAKER_06: Did you get a ticket?
44:53
SPEAKER_06: So the excuse that we came up with was uh dude, hella shit fell in my dad's garage.
45:00
SPEAKER_08: What are you supposed to say to that?
45:04
SPEAKER_06: You just go like, whoa, okay.
45:06
SPEAKER_06: I gotta fucking hella shit fell in my dad's garage.
45:09
SPEAKER_06: I gotta go.
45:10
SPEAKER_01: That's how you know he's from NorCal, hella.
45:12
SPEAKER_06: Hella shit, yeah.
45:13
SPEAKER_06: Hella shit fell in my dad's garage.
45:15
SPEAKER_06: That shit works every time.
45:17
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, and I'll put that on my dad's garage.
45:21
SPEAKER_06: My dad's garage is still living, and I I don't care if it hella shit falls because I put that on it.
45:27
SPEAKER_01: Um, here's here's a newsflash.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna do a second crime.
45:30
SPEAKER_01: This is actually a crime.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: So uh you know you know what else is a crime is getting a tea time in Southern California.
45:35
SPEAKER_01: Do you agree with that?
45:36
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, well, unless you're Korean, and that's that's because you have to be in on the Korean mob and shout out to Korea.
45:43
SPEAKER_06: Big fan of Korea, one of my favorite countries in the world.
45:47
SPEAKER_06: Let me get on uh South or North?
45:54
SPEAKER_06: I'm a DMZ guy myself.
45:55
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, there we go.
45:56
SPEAKER_06: That's a good answer.
45:57
SPEAKER_06: I like a middle ground, you know.
46:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, um, it's funny that you bring up Korean mafia because Oh, this is not a joke.
46:06
SPEAKER_06: I was not a joke.
46:07
SPEAKER_01: No, it feels like you know this one too.
46:08
SPEAKER_01: So this is actually recently happened.
46:09
SPEAKER_01: So the one I just told you about that happened in August in Missouri.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so this just happened in Southern California.
46:15
SPEAKER_01: So uh beginning in 2021, prosecutors say that um these brothers had reserved thousands of tea times uh golf courses throughout Los Angeles and Orange County.
46:26
SPEAKER_06: And of what descent were these brothers?
46:28
SPEAKER_01: And then they resold them.
46:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't know for sure, but I know their names.
46:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, let's read out their names, please.
46:34
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, perhaps.
46:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, one is Steve and one is Ted, but if you want their official court document, yeah, absolutely.
46:42
SPEAKER_05: That's what we want.
46:44
SPEAKER_05: That's what we want.
46:45
SPEAKER_01: See Yoon Kim and he yoon kim.
46:48
SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah.
46:50
SPEAKER_01: The brothers Kim.
46:52
SPEAKER_06: Surprise, surprise.
46:53
SPEAKER_01: They're twin, twin chems, twin chems.
46:56
SPEAKER_06: Listen, man, as an Italian, as a man born of Italian descent with families with deep ties into Chicago, I l I support all familiar activities, okay?
47:11
SPEAKER_06: And I'm not gonna knock them for it, but that's a real thing, yeah.
47:14
SPEAKER_06: So you know the full the I don't know the full story of that, but like, yeah, that's a uh it was a big like WhatsApp group thing.
47:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
47:23
SPEAKER_01: And um The Korean mafia for golf times.
47:28
SPEAKER_06: There was like a uh there's a very great, there's a very cool public course um called Los Verdes.
47:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, yep.
47:38
SPEAKER_06: And it's like one of the most scenic public courses you've ever played.
47:42
SPEAKER_06: It's right on there's like holes right on the water.
47:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's for these area, right?
47:45
SPEAKER_06: Yep.
47:46
SPEAKER_06: And it's like right on the water, and it's and it's public.
47:49
SPEAKER_06: You can get tea times, but you can't.
47:51
SPEAKER_01: Right.
47:52
SPEAKER_06: And so I uh one of uh my buddies uh or like an associate uh of his just hung out all day at the first tea box one day.
48:06
SPEAKER_06: It was just kind of like because the tea times would always be booked, no matter what.
48:12
SPEAKER_06: Even when they first dropped, it's like a Jordan shoe drop, right?
48:16
SPEAKER_06: So the tea times get released Monday for the week.
48:20
SPEAKER_06: Right.
48:21
SPEAKER_06: And you know, the shoes are coming out.
48:23
SPEAKER_06: No, you could never hit all of a sudden the first tea time that you could book would be 3 p.m.
48:28
SPEAKER_06: And you can't get 18 holes in at 3 p.m.
48:31
SPEAKER_06: So one day he just hung out at the first tea, and he just hung out and he would talk to people, and then he had one lady that um didn't really like she was kind of off and she didn't know like the full spectrum of the scam.
48:45
SPEAKER_06: And she was like, Oh, I'm part of this WhatsApp group, and that's when the wheel started turning.
48:50
SPEAKER_06: Okay, so then he kind of like found out, did a little investigative work, and realized, like, yeah, these guys were boughting, like you would bought a shoe drop or bought concert tickets, botting tea times, and then like reselling them.
49:04
SPEAKER_01: I've heard of this in New York for reservations for restaurants, too.
49:07
SPEAKER_01: Same thing.
49:08
SPEAKER_05: I was sitting here wondering in poor, like, why is this a problem?
49:12
SPEAKER_05: Why is this a problem?
49:13
SPEAKER_05: Like, no, now that you've got to be.
49:14
SPEAKER_03: Do you know how gorgeous most verdes is?
49:18
SPEAKER_05: I get it now for$32.
49:20
SPEAKER_05: But I was like, why what is the purpose of buying all these tea times?
49:24
SPEAKER_06: I didn't understand because you can sell like it that that$32 tea time, like in actuality could be worth$500 to someone because they're here for a week, they get to play this gorgeous course, like golf courses, like the Pokemon of the sports world, is what I'm getting.
49:42
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, so like imagine um a guy just sitting at the Pokemon thing outside of Vaughn's and then just going beep beep beep beep beep beep and being like, get the hell away from me.
49:52
SPEAKER_06: And you're like, dude, I want to hit one of the jobs, and they're like, Yeah, you can hit you buy my place online, but that's that shouldn't be allowed, especially if it's public, it's a municipal course, it's not a private course, right?
50:03
SPEAKER_06: Okay, like it's a public thing that should be open and available to everyone.
50:09
SPEAKER_06: The thing is that nobody talks about is there has to be some form of collusion between the courses and the brothers, Kim.
50:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:28
SPEAKER_06: You like the collusion word, by the way?
50:29
SPEAKER_06: I do.
50:30
SPEAKER_01: I I think that was a great much better than persecuted prosperity.
50:37
SPEAKER_06: Thank you very much.
50:38
SPEAKER_06: There needs because you cannot just be working at the course and then just And not realize and not realize that like uh what am I on the fucking set of parasite?
50:53
SPEAKER_06: Like what's going on here?
51:00
SPEAKER_05: Not only that, you think they would recognize the pattern of like that, let's say they release the T Times on Monday by fucking 12.05, they release them at 12 and they're all both.
51:09
SPEAKER_06: Like, come on, bro.
51:10
SPEAKER_06: Exactly.
51:11
SPEAKER_06: But that's where we fall in line with the gatekeeping aspect of golf.
51:17
SPEAKER_06: You think they were getting a kickback?
51:19
SPEAKER_06: Well, do I think they were getting it?
51:21
SPEAKER_06: I don't no, I don't want to speculate, but I will.
51:24
SPEAKER_06: This is all alleged.
51:26
SPEAKER_06: Allegedly, that's uh obviously they're getting some form of kickback, whether it would be monetarily, whether it would just be, hey, I'm bringing you clientele that you want, which shouldn't be a thing.
51:42
SPEAKER_06: Like you shouldn't be able to gatekeep just because these guys may wear like collar shirts.
51:50
SPEAKER_01: Maybe a fishing vest.
51:51
SPEAKER_05: Maybe a fishing vest, but it's a it's a golf fishing vest.
51:55
SPEAKER_05: Just because you can't read doesn't mean you shouldn't go to the library, dude.
52:01
SPEAKER_06: That was fucking deep, bro.
52:04
SPEAKER_06: But that's really what it is.
52:06
SPEAKER_05: That's what I mean.
52:07
SPEAKER_06: Like everybody, but everybody needs to start somewhere.
52:11
SPEAKER_06: But the thing with golf, especially, is it is such like this gay-kept, high esteemed thing where there is like an aspect of like, well, you need to know like how to treat the course because this is like a live, living thing, sure.
52:28
SPEAKER_06: But like just because you put on a collared shirt, I've watched kids with collared shirts spike greens with iron, like they don't give a shit.
52:36
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you're just teaching someone really how to like put on a costume, yeah, as opposed to like really learning that aspect of of golf.
52:46
SPEAKER_06: But yeah, dude, you cannot get a tea time.
52:49
SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't so much that they were gaming the system, it was well, I'll have you take a guess.
52:56
SPEAKER_01: Why do you think they got in trouble, Tony?
53:02
SPEAKER_05: It's one of your favorite things.
53:05
SPEAKER_01: It's it's one of your favorite things.
53:07
SPEAKER_01: What's rule number one?
53:09
SPEAKER_05: Don't talk about fight club?
53:11
SPEAKER_05: Rule number one is pay your taxes.
53:13
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
53:14
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, okay.
53:15
SPEAKER_01: So uh they failed to report to the IRS more than$1.3 million in income.
53:21
SPEAKER_05: And they they will get you, bro.
53:22
SPEAKER_05: The IRS ain't no snitch.
53:24
SPEAKER_05: And it's if you're getting money by illegal means and you pay your taxes on it, they're they're they're not gonna say anything.
53:29
SPEAKER_05: They're not gonna say shit.
53:30
SPEAKER_05: They just want their cut, bro.
53:32
SPEAKER_01: They made money from the golf tea time brokering business as a side hustle.
53:35
SPEAKER_01: They were actually MRI technicians.
53:37
SPEAKER_05: What the fuck?
53:38
SPEAKER_05: So they were getting money already for the love of the game, baby.
53:42
SPEAKER_01: They did everything, they did everything right at the at the outset.
53:46
SPEAKER_01: So they had a corporate entity, they opened their business account, they had prepared everything right, but they deposited the fees from this side hustle tea time business into their personal financial financial accounts, and then they never reported this income to the IRS.
54:02
SPEAKER_01: And uh they both admitted to using some of the funds in the corporate account to pay for personal expenses and make cash withdrawals.
54:09
SPEAKER_05: So they were breaking rule number two, too.
54:11
SPEAKER_05: Oh, what's that?
54:12
SPEAKER_05: Uh uh don't live above your means immediately, like you have to gradually upstate don't buy the pink Cadillac, don't buy exactly don't buy the fur.
54:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, exactly.
54:23
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
54:23
SPEAKER_05: And then rule number three, this sounds like they were practicing rule number three at least.
54:27
SPEAKER_05: Wash it.
54:28
SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
54:29
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
54:31
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
54:31
SPEAKER_05: They didn't they posit it right into the personal finances.
54:34
SPEAKER_05: Is that not what the company was for though?
54:36
SPEAKER_01: No, I think that they I think they started the company so that way it looked legit, but then they didn't operate it legit.
54:42
SPEAKER_06: Isn't that exactly what money laundering?
54:44
SPEAKER_06: No, no, you need a separate, you need a separate entity, like a cash-based business.
54:50
SPEAKER_01: Like a car wash, you have your shell, right?
54:52
SPEAKER_06: You have your shell, bro, and you need something that like actually washes it.
54:57
SPEAKER_06: You're basically bringing the money to the laundromat and then just taking the dirty clothes from the laundromat back to your house.
55:03
SPEAKER_01: Like it's like a strip club, like a uh car wash, something that's cash-based.
55:07
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you had like a uh separate organization, like, hey, we're taking the money here, and then we're actually putting it into this burger joint that is.
55:17
SPEAKER_06: I know how to launder money.
55:20
SPEAKER_05: I've never had enough to have to launder it myself.
55:23
SPEAKER_05: I've never got to launder mapping.
55:25
SPEAKER_05: I've never got to launder map.
55:28
SPEAKER_06: The burger joint that don't sell, they don't even have a fucking cashier.
55:32
SPEAKER_06: They're taking the loss as a year.
55:35
SPEAKER_06: That's yeah, that's just what it is.
55:37
SPEAKER_01: So so apparently between 2021 and 2023, Steve, Kim, uh received received over$800,000 in income for the tax shares.
55:46
SPEAKER_01: 2022 and 2023, Ted, Kim, received income over$450,000.
55:52
SPEAKER_06: And uh T times, brother.
55:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that's fucking amazing.
55:56
SPEAKER_06: And that was their side hustle.
55:58
SPEAKER_06: T times.
55:58
SPEAKER_06: Uh$30 T times.
56:01
SPEAKER_01: They omitted on their tax returns capital gains, unemployment compensation, and early retirement distribution in the amounts of$4,000,$8,000, and I believe$8,000 respectively.
56:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh, they both also falsely claimed to their employers that they were exempt from federal tax income, which resulted in their employer ceasing to withhold federal taxes for them.
56:22
SPEAKER_06: Ooh, see, that's when you get that's even more scammy.
56:24
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
56:25
SPEAKER_06: That's they're still reporting the income, no?
56:28
SPEAKER_05: Right.
56:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
56:28
SPEAKER_01: Right.
56:29
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's that's probably exactly what got the ass.
56:31
SPEAKER_06: And these Koreans, let me tell you, they got a good golf swing.
56:34
SPEAKER_01: And this is what they they ladies are like insanely.
56:37
SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, they just they're so slow in the back swing and then just power.
56:42
SPEAKER_04: Fuck yeah.
56:43
SPEAKER_04: It's a big like you know they would knock your jaw off with a driver.
56:48
SPEAKER_04: Straight up.
56:49
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so they uh they both willfully admitted to willfully evading assessment of income taxes.
56:55
SPEAKER_08: Damn.
56:56
SPEAKER_01: Um and they willfully failed to pay payments and interest to the tax for taxes as well.
57:03
SPEAKER_05: What's the taxes on 800 grand?
57:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh so okay, so they caused so Steve caused tax loss in the amount of$380,000 with 2012 through 2023.
57:14
SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
57:15
SPEAKER_06: And then that's not bad.
57:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
57:16
SPEAKER_06: 400k?
57:17
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
57:17
SPEAKER_06: That's not bad.
57:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
57:19
SPEAKER_06: Over 10 years?
57:20
SPEAKER_06: I don't know.
57:21
SPEAKER_06: That's what my house costs, brothers.
57:23
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I'm just, you know, thinking about what I owe.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: So what do you think that they're gonna face in terms of uh sentencing?
57:31
SPEAKER_05: Nothing.
57:35
SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna have to agree with you.
57:37
SPEAKER_05: Time served, fines.
57:39
SPEAKER_01: They're gonna find out their sentencing in January, so in TBD, but they're facing a maximum sentence of three years in federal prison.
57:46
SPEAKER_06: That's chuckling.
57:47
SPEAKER_01: Steve, and then federal, I'm sorry, and then Ted is five years.
57:50
SPEAKER_01: So they both are about three to five years.
57:51
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I think they plead out and they're gonna rat on the bigger organization and they get their money, they're they're not they're not gonna get held, I don't think, right?
58:00
SPEAKER_01: They admitted, so yeah, they admitted to it.
58:02
SPEAKER_01: They they plied yeah, they gave me seven years for a couple hundred bucks.
58:07
SPEAKER_05: Like, come on, bro.
58:08
SPEAKER_05: Damn.
58:09
SPEAKER_05: How backwards is that?
58:11
SPEAKER_05: That's what I'm saying, dog.
58:12
SPEAKER_05: That's what I'm saying, man.
58:14
SPEAKER_05: Granted, I had a gun.
58:16
SPEAKER_05: Okay that accounts for like so now the story comes out.
58:20
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, now the story comes out.
58:22
SPEAKER_01: No one got hurt, but he was lucky.
58:25
SPEAKER_01: He got lucky that the that the gun jammed, basically.
58:28
SPEAKER_05: That's fucking funny.
58:30
SPEAKER_01: Uh, so those are my stories today.
58:32
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for sitting through them.
58:33
SPEAKER_01: Tony, what do you got for us?
58:35
SPEAKER_05: Have you ever done time?
58:36
SPEAKER_05: Never done time, no.
58:38
SPEAKER_05: Nothing like not even an overnighter, not even an overnighter.
58:41
SPEAKER_05: That's uh yeah, yeah.
58:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I wasn't trying to jinx you.
58:45
SPEAKER_05: You you just look like you were gonna say yeah to that.
58:48
SPEAKER_05: Uh I would not have been surprised.
58:50
SPEAKER_05: No, no overnighter.
58:51
SPEAKER_05: Do you think you would make it?
58:53
SPEAKER_05: No.
58:54
SPEAKER_05: Like if you got sentenced to let's say five years, how do you think you would make it?
58:59
SPEAKER_06: No, I think I would I I would PC up immediately.
59:05
SPEAKER_06: And um Hey, you know what you're talking about, though.
59:08
SPEAKER_05: You might you might so Oh, I'm well versed.
59:11
SPEAKER_05: Oh okay.
59:13
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I'm well versed.
59:14
SPEAKER_05: Here's what's gonna happen.
59:15
SPEAKER_05: Okay, I got five questions for you guys.
59:17
SPEAKER_05: Okay, okay.
59:18
SPEAKER_05: All right, and then at the at the end of the the five questions, I will give you, based on a point system, a prison survival rating.
59:26
SPEAKER_05: Okay, sick.
59:27
SPEAKER_05: I like this.
59:27
SPEAKER_05: So you get one point for each question.
59:29
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
59:29
SPEAKER_05: Uh sometimes I like to throw a little razzle dazzle and give you some bonus points.
59:34
SPEAKER_05: That's what I like.
59:35
SPEAKER_05: So you don't shanked?
59:36
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
59:36
SPEAKER_05: So if you get zero to one points, you're shanked.
59:39
SPEAKER_05: You're shanked.
59:41
SPEAKER_05: JJ's been shanked a lot, but she's been on a roll lately, though.
59:47
SPEAKER_05: I'll give her that.
59:48
SPEAKER_05: All right.
59:49
SPEAKER_05: As a lawyer, she should be doing better.
59:51
unknown: Yeah.
59:51
SPEAKER_00: I don't do criminal law.
59:53
SPEAKER_00: You don't do criminal law.
59:54
SPEAKER_05: I'll give you that.
59:54
SPEAKER_05: All right.
59:55
SPEAKER_05: If you get two to three points, you're ranked inmate.
59:59
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
59:59
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_05: And then if you get four to five points, you're a convict.
1:00:03
SPEAKER_05: Hell yeah.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_05: A lifer.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_05: Uh I you know, you just do time differently.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_05: You do you do it better.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_06: You know what you're doing.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_06: Standing on my fucking head is how I'm trying to do my time.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_06: There you go.
1:00:15
SPEAKER_06: And I and I wouldn't.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_06: Are you ready for the very first question?
1:00:19
SPEAKER_00: Ready.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_06: What is a paper party?
1:00:22
SPEAKER_06: A paper party.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_06: A paper party.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_06: A paper party is when uh a like um a prisoner is like a newcomer to the prison, and everybody is unsure of what are his crimes.
1:00:37
SPEAKER_06: So what he must do to prove to his fellow inmates that he's not what they call a snitch, is he has a paper party.
1:00:46
SPEAKER_06: And I don't know the exact documents, but there are a certain amount of documents that um, or certain there's like a two two really good ones, I think, that will let people know whether you are cooperating or not.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_01: I think it's gonna be you're gonna be transferred to another prison and you're having like a goodbye party for your friend.
1:01:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you that's so sweet.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_05: That's that's yeah, you yeah, not only were you right, bro, you had the fucking details.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01:22
SPEAKER_06: Are you sure you didn't do anytime, bro?
1:01:25
SPEAKER_06: No, no, no.
1:01:26
SPEAKER_06: No, I just talk about it as fuck.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_06: I'm well versed.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_06: I'm well versed.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_06: But yeah, you don't you want to let people know that you're not in uh in for um what are they that you're not in tripo?
1:01:37
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah, bad charges.
1:01:38
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
1:01:39
SPEAKER_06: Is that what it's called?
1:01:40
SPEAKER_05: It's called like a skin charge.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's what that's essentially what we're looking for.
1:01:46
SPEAKER_05: Skin beef.
1:01:46
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we want to make sure that you're not a fucking Did you study this on the way here?
1:01:50
SPEAKER_06: Is that what I no, no, no, but like I love lawyer shit.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_06: And also, uh, and also like I've seen every single locked up season.
1:01:59
SPEAKER_06: And I knew it was smart to give you the hard ones.
1:02:03
SPEAKER_05: Paper party, I haven't heard that in a while.
1:02:05
SPEAKER_05: Are you ready?
1:02:06
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_05: Question number two.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_05: You're in the county jail.
1:02:09
SPEAKER_05: Not upstate yet, you're in the county jail.
1:02:11
SPEAKER_05: One inmate comes back to the cell block, and another person says, You smell like sand and cigarettes.
1:02:18
SPEAKER_05: What does he say?
1:02:20
SPEAKER_01: Can I answer?
1:02:21
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
1:02:21
SPEAKER_01: I think uh they're saying, I think you snitched.
1:02:26
SPEAKER_06: Smell like sand and cigarettes.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_06: You know, that is that is a good that I do like where your head's at because like you're giving they usually give you like, you know, some cigarettes.
1:02:38
SPEAKER_06: The sand part is uh sounds like a hazard.
1:02:43
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_06: Uh I'm gonna say, I'm gonna go, I'm not gonna take your answer.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_06: I will say you can't, you're allowed.
1:02:53
SPEAKER_06: Sand and cigarettes.
1:02:54
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, then I I will take that.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_06: I really do like that.
1:02:56
SPEAKER_06: Ding ding ding ding.
1:02:57
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
1:02:59
SPEAKER_05: What is the sand part?
1:03:00
SPEAKER_05: You're on the beach living it up.
1:03:02
SPEAKER_05: You're on the beach smoking cigarettes and telling everything.
1:03:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it was living your best life.
1:03:07
SPEAKER_05: Oh, thank you for that.
1:03:08
SPEAKER_06: I appreciate that.
1:03:11
SPEAKER_05: Good answer.
1:03:12
SPEAKER_05: And you got it first.
1:03:12
SPEAKER_05: Good job.
1:03:13
SPEAKER_05: That was good, that was good, that was good.
1:03:16
SPEAKER_05: All right, so you've got a point.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_05: You've got two points.
1:03:20
SPEAKER_05: Right.
1:03:20
SPEAKER_05: You've got one point.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_05: Nice.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:03:22
SPEAKER_05: So if you and you still have three chances to not get shacked today.
1:03:25
SPEAKER_01: All right, good.
1:03:27
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:03:27
SPEAKER_05: You guys ready for number three?
1:03:29
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:03:30
SPEAKER_05: What is a roll-up?
1:03:32
SPEAKER_05: Ooh.
1:03:33
SPEAKER_06: A roll up is your uh is that like your intake like bag of goodies where you get your like your your your your toothbrush, your your your shaving kit, your like your shit like that is what I'll say.
1:03:50
SPEAKER_01: I think you're in your cell and you're you got a group of people that are gonna come and uh harass you, maybe fight you.
1:03:59
SPEAKER_01: So they're rolling up on yourself.
1:04:01
SPEAKER_05: So a roll-up is a cigarette.
1:04:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh you know, I knew that.
1:04:06
SPEAKER_00: I knew that right away.
1:04:08
SPEAKER_06: But I you know, I I I knew that's what a roll-up was.
1:04:16
SPEAKER_06: We overthought it.
1:04:16
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, we did.
1:04:17
SPEAKER_06: That was an overthink right there.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_06: Two points still.
1:04:19
SPEAKER_06: One point.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_06: One point.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_06: Well, where where what is that call?
1:04:22
SPEAKER_06: Because I feel like there's there's something where I was gonna maybe I I'm uh isn't that like your your role?
1:04:27
SPEAKER_06: Never mind.
1:04:28
SPEAKER_06: You're fucking shanked.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_06: I'm shanked.
1:04:31
SPEAKER_00: Not yet.
1:04:32
SPEAKER_05: No, yeah, you've got two points.
1:04:34
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, okay.
1:04:34
SPEAKER_05: You're good.
1:04:34
SPEAKER_05: You got two points.
1:04:35
SPEAKER_05: So you're you're an inmate.
1:04:37
SPEAKER_05: J JJ's still uh in bodily harm range.
1:04:43
SPEAKER_05: All right, question number four.
1:04:45
SPEAKER_05: What is Lisa?
1:04:50
SPEAKER_06: Is Lisa your Fifi?
1:04:56
SPEAKER_05: Also, I know's balls.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_05: No, I actually I've done that one before.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
1:05:03
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I've done that one before.
1:05:04
SPEAKER_05: What is it?
1:05:05
SPEAKER_05: Why is she laughing?
1:05:06
SPEAKER_05: She knows now.
1:05:09
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:05:10
SPEAKER_05: All right, what do you got?
1:05:18
SPEAKER_01: I feel like Lisa is like you're I'm gonna say it's a pen pal that is like it can be anybody's pin pal.
1:05:35
SPEAKER_01: Like it's just a random girl that's been writing you.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_05: I like that one.
1:05:39
SPEAKER_05: Uh so Lisa is the brand of soap they give you when you don't have any money.
1:05:44
SPEAKER_05: Oh that's huge right there.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_06: Damn.
1:05:51
SPEAKER_06: Which technically can be made into a Fifi.
1:05:55
SPEAKER_06: I'm not making a Fifi out of soap, it could be used.
1:05:59
unknown: And it
1:06:00
SPEAKER_01: Fifi, if it is made into a Fifi, ipso facto girlfriend, pen pal.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_01: There we go.
1:06:05
SPEAKER_06: So double have points.
1:06:06
SPEAKER_06: Well, we're both getting shanked together on that one.
1:06:08
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you're getting nothing for that.
1:06:11
unknown: Okay.
1:06:11
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:06:11
SPEAKER_06: You're getting up and try to spin it.
1:06:13
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:06:14
SPEAKER_05: She did her best, but no points will be awarded for that nonsense.
1:06:18
SPEAKER_06: I started out strong.
1:06:19
SPEAKER_06: I'm failing hard now.
1:06:22
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:06:23
SPEAKER_05: Here's the chance for you not to get shanked.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_05: Uh, you'll pretty much be in the same shape.
1:06:28
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:06:29
SPEAKER_05: Unless you want to gamble.
1:06:31
SPEAKER_05: I'm on, yeah.
1:06:32
SPEAKER_05: Double or nothing.
1:06:33
SPEAKER_05: Of course I want to get it.
1:06:34
SPEAKER_01: You want to tattoo.
1:06:34
SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
1:06:35
SPEAKER_05: So you're gonna you're either gonna end up a fucking convict or you're gonna end up getting shanked.
1:06:40
SPEAKER_05: That is fine.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_05: I'm already in prison.
1:06:42
SPEAKER_05: Let's get it.
1:06:43
SPEAKER_05: Gamble?
1:06:43
SPEAKER_05: Double or nothing?
1:06:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm good.
1:06:45
SPEAKER_05: You're gonna that's probably a smart move for you.
1:06:49
SPEAKER_05: That's why she's a lawyer, folks.
1:06:51
SPEAKER_05: I'm risk adverse, so double or nothing for you.
1:06:54
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
1:06:55
SPEAKER_05: Your life is potentially on the line.
1:06:57
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:06:58
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:06:59
SPEAKER_05: This is an actual quote.
1:07:01
SPEAKER_05: This really is an actual quote that I heard in a cell block.
1:07:05
SPEAKER_05: So when you're trying to do your laundry and there's someone's laundry in the washing machine, you'll announce to the block who's in the washer.
1:07:14
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
1:07:15
SPEAKER_05: Like come move your shit, essentially.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_05: Okay, sounds like my house.
1:07:19
SPEAKER_05: Now the guy said, Who's in the so there's two washers, there's two dryers.
1:07:24
SPEAKER_05: And the guy said, Who's in the third washer?
1:07:27
SPEAKER_05: The one with the heat.
1:07:29
SPEAKER_01: It's a dryer.
1:07:30
SPEAKER_05: What was he asking about?
1:07:34
SPEAKER_01: So he's saying, Who's in the washer, the one with the heat?
1:07:37
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
1:07:38
SPEAKER_06: You had it right out the gate.
1:07:40
SPEAKER_01: Is it dryer?
1:07:43
SPEAKER_06: I have to go with that too.
1:07:45
SPEAKER_06: You should have gambled.
1:07:46
SPEAKER_06: It's gotta be dryer.
1:07:47
SPEAKER_06: You should have gambled.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_06: That's like a riddle.
1:07:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:07:50
SPEAKER_06: Who's in the water?
1:07:51
SPEAKER_05: The one with the heat?
1:07:52
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:07:53
SPEAKER_05: And he was Jamaican, so I'm not gonna do the accent, but like just imagine him saying that.
1:07:57
SPEAKER_06: That is like that is phenomenal.
1:08:02
SPEAKER_06: That's what I'm calling it a dryer from now on.
1:08:05
SPEAKER_06: Yo, you got like a washer with heat?
1:08:08
SPEAKER_06: It's so sick.
1:08:10
SPEAKER_06: My buddy has a very, very funny quote like that too.
1:08:15
SPEAKER_06: When they were in he was in like a holding cell with everybody, you know.
1:08:20
SPEAKER_06: And uh like there was like a uh two dudes that were like locked out together.
1:08:31
SPEAKER_06: And uh you could tell that they were friends, and they you know, they were passing around all of a sudden it was like baloney sandwich milk time.
1:08:39
SPEAKER_06: And the dude gets his carton of milk, and it was in a pink carton.
1:08:46
SPEAKER_06: Like some people got you know, it's like black, pink cartons, and he got the carton, and he said, Oh shit, I got strawberry milk.
1:08:55
SPEAKER_06: And the other dude looks at it and goes, bro, that's regular milk in a pink carton.
1:09:00
SPEAKER_06: But anytime I see milk now, I say, Oh shit, I got strawberry milk.
1:09:05
SPEAKER_06: Any color it is.
1:09:07
SPEAKER_05: Strawberry milk is good.
1:09:08
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, well, you made a good gamble, so you have actually been the first person to make the rank of convict.
1:09:13
SPEAKER_06: Oh, and it's and it's thank you to my attorney and my representation.
1:09:18
SPEAKER_06: Because without her leading the witness, I would have never made it this far.
1:09:22
SPEAKER_05: You might get beat up, probably, but like you're not gonna get stabbed.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_05: All right, I'll take it.
1:09:26
SPEAKER_05: I'll make I'll make some calls.
1:09:27
SPEAKER_07: Okay, I'll make some calls.
1:09:28
SPEAKER_05: I'll make some calls, I'll talk to some folk.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_07: I like it.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_05: We'll we'll walk the yard.
1:09:33
SPEAKER_05: But uh before we kick off the ending of this shit, uh, I do have a question.
1:09:37
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:09:37
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_05: Uh, have you ever seen the original Power Rangers movie?
1:09:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, bro.
1:09:45
SPEAKER_05: You look exactly like Ivan Ooze when he's trying to sell the ooze.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_05: Like with the hat, if your hair was white and your face was purple, bro.
1:09:58
SPEAKER_06: Like that's a deep cut.
1:10:01
SPEAKER_06: First of all, that's a deep cut.
1:10:03
SPEAKER_06: I'm gonna put a picture up too so people can see what I'm talking about.
1:10:06
SPEAKER_06: Oh my god.
1:10:08
SPEAKER_06: That is I I've heard of Parappa the Rapper.
1:10:11
SPEAKER_06: I've got a lot of rapper uh uh look alike, uh you know, but uh I even got like a Patrick Dempsey one time.
1:10:21
SPEAKER_06: Dude, that is a good cut.
1:10:24
SPEAKER_06: You can have that, my gift to you.
1:10:25
SPEAKER_06: Oh, I appreciate that, bro.
1:10:26
SPEAKER_06: That is that's really good.
1:10:28
SPEAKER_01: Italian from Chicago, so Sebastian Menescalco, you're like Sebastian Miyakulpa.
1:10:33
SPEAKER_01: Miakulpa.
1:10:35
SPEAKER_05: 1000%.
1:10:37
SPEAKER_05: Damn, this has been fun, bro.
1:10:38
SPEAKER_05: You guys change it up in the cue, yeah.
1:10:40
SPEAKER_05: Huh?
1:10:41
SPEAKER_05: You got anything coming up in comment?
1:10:42
SPEAKER_06: Uh yeah, uh, I will be well being in Montana the end of uh October.
1:10:48
SPEAKER_01: Um good news is your uh Instagram says you're at the Irvine Improv.
1:10:52
SPEAKER_06: Oh, I just I I just changed it.
1:10:53
SPEAKER_06: I just I'm so bad.
1:10:55
SPEAKER_06: I'm trying to I'm coming out of a deep dark hole.
1:10:58
SPEAKER_06: So uh, but I got a lot of dates uh around town in the Los Angeles area if if you're around, and then um should be hitting the road in a couple more months.
1:11:07
SPEAKER_01: So I've actually seen them, so I can speak firsthand that this is oh thank you very much.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_06: Thank you.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, you you're I feel like we caught a dub today.
1:11:15
SPEAKER_06: Oh, I like catching a dub, dude.
1:11:17
SPEAKER_06: We're catching dubs.
1:11:18
SPEAKER_06: We didn't get shanking dubs, smoking dubs.
1:11:21
SPEAKER_06: I'm getting my tear tattoo and uh dude, I'm walking the line, bro.
1:11:27
SPEAKER_06: I'm excited.
1:11:28
SPEAKER_06: Hell yeah.
1:11:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for being here today.
1:11:30
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, thank you.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_06: Thanks for having me.
1:11:31
SPEAKER_06: So much appreciate it.
1:11:32
SPEAKER_01: Uh please like and subscribe, Tony.
1:11:35
SPEAKER_03: Peace.