Latest / In The Driver's Seat / Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: A 3-Question Practice
Transcript
- Lisa French: You want to manifest something different, but what happens after you put away the vision board? You go back to your day, something frustrates you, and you pick up the same thoughts and feelings you've been practicing for years. This is something Dr. Joe Dispenza addresses in his book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I've noticed people describe themselves as positive, then complain through an entire conversation. It makes me wonder whether they even realize it and how many of our own reactions slip past us too. Welcome to In the Driver's Seat. I'm Lisa French. If you like topics like this, please take a moment to subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. It also helps others like you find the channel. In my recent episodes, I shared how I experienced joy before some of my manifestations happened. Today we're looking at the thought feeling loops that bring us back to familiar emotional states and a practice for recognizing and changing one of those loops. Dr. Jo connects how we think, act, and feel with a familiar way of being. Through repetition, our reactions become automatic. Then we bring those new reactions into new situations, carrying old expectations with us. Take a conversation that upsets you. Even after you've gotten back home, the conversation is well over, but you are still replaying it over and over in your mind. You remember what they said, then you think about what you should have said. that would have been a good answer. Why didn't I think of that? And now you're upset again. You're aware that the this is just a reliving of it in your mind, but you're also feeling something in the present. Your shoulders start to tighten, you feel that irritation rise, and an experience that happened earlier is taking up space in the evening you're having right now. Joda Spenza describes how thoughts bring up feelings and those feelings bring up more thoughts. That match them. So the irritation leads you to remember another time that that person annoyed you. Then another. Next thing you know, you've got quite a collection going on. That's a loop. And the more you're familiar it becomes, the easier it is for it to happen subconsciously. Past experiences also influence what we expect. If you've been disappointed, you may start looking for the next disappointment. If you've felt overlooked, you may enter a conversation already expecting to be ignored. Those expectations affect how you participate, what you notice, whether you speak up or sit in silence. There is research behind the connections among thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and behind the way repeated behaviors become automatic. doctor Joe brings those ideas into broader teaching about creating a different life. I'm sharing what I take from that teaching and how it supports my beliefs about manifestation. For me, the interesting part is how often we are unaware of the state we're returning to. That person who calls themselves positive probably believes it. They may be generous, encouraging, and excited for other people. Then the conversation turns to their own life. And they have a running list of everything that's wrong. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes things do indeed go wrong. We have real problems to solve. We need to talk things through. I want to be able to tell a friend when something has upset me too. What gets my attention is when the complaint becomes a place where we stay, every conversation feeds it. We start expecting more of the same and we find whatever confirms that expectation. Meanwhile, we're trying to manifest something wonderful. We spend a few minutes thinking about what we want, we picture the experience, maybe feel some excitement about it. Then we go back to our day and repeat the same thoughts and reactions we've been carrying around for years. This is where Dr. Joe's teaching connects with. What I was talking about in the previous episodes, the emotion and the energy matter. I experienced immense joy in my life before some of those things I wanted manifested. So I also make it a priority to pay attention to what I'm repeatedly feeling and what I'm doing that keeps me in that loop. That doesn't mean I expect myself or anyone else to be sparkly happiness or every minute. I care about things. I get frustrated. But those low points give us the contrast we need to say, nope, I don't want this. And it leads to appreciation for good times. Like after several days of gray skies, you bask in the warmth of the sunshine when it returns. I want to participate in the creation of my life. That includes noticing when a negative reaction is becoming my normal response and deciding I want to change. doctor Joe gives practical guidance for that. In an exercise, he explains he writes down the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions he wants to transform. Then he identifies what he wants to practice instead. He uses meditation to mentally. Rehearse those responses and connect with the feelings he wants to cultivate. And he continues paying attention throughout the day. That last part is key. Cause life continues after your meditation is over. People say things, plans change, something irritates you. That's where you get to practice the response you intended. So here's a simple way to begin. Adapted from that exercise. Choose one recurring pattern and ask yourself three questions. First, what do I keep thinking or saying? Something specific. Maybe it's nothing ever works out for me or a conversation you keep replaying. Pick one you recognize. Second, what feeling does it bring up and how do I respond? If the thought is nothing ever works out for me, Perhaps you feel discouraged and stop trying. That gives you something concrete to notice, the thought, the feeling, and what happens next. Third, what do I want to practice instead? Choose something believable. In that example, try asking what's one thing I can influence here. Then take action. Make the call. Ask the question, finish the part you know how to do. Take a moment to mentally rehearse that response before you're in that situation again. Think about how you'd like to feel as you act, more open, interested, or hopeful. Give yourself a response to practice when the familiar thought comes back. And it probably will come back. You've practiced it. Recognizing it sooner gives you another opportunity to choose. Joe Dispenza emphasizes being aware and practicing again rather than treating the return to the old pattern as a failure. What I appreciate about this lesson is that it gives us somewhere to begin right now. Even with all the circumstances we haven't figured out yet, there's something to observe and something to practice. I want to keep learning and how to intentionally create the life I love. And I want these conversations to help you do that in your own life too. Look in the description for links to free resources to help you on your journey. And if you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe or follow. It truly helps others like you find the channel too. Thank you for spending your time with me. Until next time, remember you're always in the driver's seat of your own life. I'll see you in the next episode.