Latest / Rooted & Real With Keenan / Nothing Is Trivial: David Jarvis on Resilience, Adversity, and Becoming Stronger

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Nothing Is Trivial: David Jarvis on Resilience, Adversity, and Becoming Stronger · Rooted & Real With Keenan

• speaker-0: All right. So today's guest, name is David Jarvis, former British army physical training instructor, Invictus Games medalist, keynote speaker, para athlete, advocate for mental health and resilience. And after nearly two decades of military service, David faced medical discharge, DSP, injuries and life-threatening type 1 diabetes diagnosis. while training for the N'Gikas game. Just three months later, he went on to win gold. David's story is not just about bouncing back. It's about becoming stronger through adversity. David, thank you much for being here and I'm excited. Yeah, man. coming all the way from Scotland, with every good story, it's always important to start from the beginning. So David, what is your story? speaker-1: You for ⁓ thank you for having me on. speaker-0: Well, speaker-1: problem there is where to start. ⁓ I mean I grew up here in north east Scotland speaker-0: But it's a- speaker-1: very rural, very sort of farm oriented community and I wanted to get out and travel and that's what led me to the army to go and try something different and get into something different. ⁓ it's one of them stories where everything's going well until all of a sudden it isn't. And then when it isn't, it really isn't. And and that's essentially what happened when I got medically discharged. And the long story short there is is I had real problems transitioning into civilian life. speaker-0: And then it's that I. and the speaker-1: I got led into the Invictus Games because of because of ⁓ an array of of you know, so the main one being the Royal British Legion. ⁓ they're the ones that look after Team UK. So all the competitors that represent the country ⁓ at the Invictus Games. And ⁓ they everything well, the lo again, long story short, there is everything's going well up until a point where it's just ⁓ just wasn't again. You know, it's a long s it it's a story of my life that one. I just started getting really ill and then all of a sudden speaker-0: as charities. and keep it. for that. I'm, ⁓ I'm... speaker-1: basically hanging out my ass on death death's door quite literally. So yeah, it really went that way. So yeah, yeah. Where where'd you want to start, you know? It's ⁓ there's so many ways to go down that route. speaker-0: Sorry. But yeah. speaker-1: Well, ⁓ we weren't so we we weren't ⁓ a far we sorry, my family we didn't live on a farm as such. We left lived in the center of a village. But the village I lived in a very, very big farming community. ⁓ inside this village we had all these cattle marts, all the fencing structure and all that kind of stuff you can imagine for keeping the cows in for ⁓ 'cause that's where they'd sell them, they'd breed them, they'd do all that kind of stuff. All the farms in the local area. So you're surrounded by farms in this tiny little village and you're five or six miles from speaker-0: So all the... page. speaker-1: They're a sort of village as well. Basically every periodically, sort of every other month or something like that, all the farm farmers would just bring all the cattle into the village and into this mart. When the cattle wasn't there, me and the me and mates now always used to go and play around on these things, jumping all around them and bouncing about and all that kind of stuff. It was just like playing in a maze, basically. Mm because bear in mind I'm like three foot nothing as a as a as a youngster in single figure age. so all these great big fences that keep these bloody dirty great cows in, like it was it's like looking up playing. Pun's Labyrinth, you know what I mean? So speaker-0: So, so. speaker-1: Yeah, and it was to get to our first school you just walk up the street to it. But the secondary school was sort of ten, eleven years old, we had to get a bus that five miles to the next village to get the secondary school. So that was a different experience. That's where I started getting the idea of my first work and jobs and things. I mean, my ⁓ work for us, 'cause we're nowhere near a city, it was things like ⁓ clay pigeon trap operating. And it was like speaker-0: returned. start of doing things like that. ⁓ That was, that was. speaker-1: Else. I look back on that and I think, wow, I'm so lucky I didn't lose fingers doing that job. Because you imagine a machine that launches these like a great big handle, you pigeons in there in this control. Swing this handle at a certain point, and you do sorry, you do that when they shout pull, and you'd swing this handle, and then this arm would launch, and you had to have your shoulders back, or you're getting clocked in the arms thing, and it was just speaker-0: clay pigeons and it was like, you'd load these two clay pigeons with this arm and then you'd of this. It was really death trap, you. But yeah, we used to get paid. speaker-1: For three hours of work we paid the whopping son of sum of ten pounds and a can of Coke and a and a sausage roll. typical job. And then in the summer we'd go berry picking. Yeah. So I'd go pick strawberries and load them all into little punnets and then they'd get sold on on the markets and that's how we'd get our money the other the October we'd do tatty picking. That's why in Scotland we get a two a two week holiday in in October and it's called the tatty holidays. 'Cause that's typically when the t when the potatoes get speaker-0: You know. way in the Sayers. We all the schools get pick. So yeah, cause Tati is saying in Scottish. speaker-1: So ⁓ let me think what else mm what else stands out? ⁓ I'm a proper mummy's boy. I'm a proper mummy's boy. I mean my parents still live in the same village. They haven't moved, you know, they've been there for something like that anyway. Really close with them, so I'm seeing ⁓ again this weekend. We do we keep in touch quite regularly. They're close enough where we can just pop across and get a brew, but they're far enough away where they've got to call us first before they come over, you know. speaker-0: So there speaker-1: I say that I say that in a nice way. It's ⁓ I am very close to my parents. I'm quite lucky in that speaker-0: I don't- expect. speaker-1: Well, it it wasn't really planned as such. So I first left school apprenticeship in chemical engineering with ⁓ with BP and here in Scotland we've got most of our oil comes in from the North Sea. Used to hearing the helicopters flying over because their typical route comes over the village is and out to sea from us, if I make sense. Dad used to work on the oil rigs. He was ⁓ he worked speaker-0: cool to do. up to see where you sense. in the in speaker-1: you in communications in the communications huts and all that kind of stuff. That's ultimately how I got into some of the stuff my dad did, thought it was really interesting. I thought I'll have a go at that. Started out in that apprenticeship to Grangemouth, which is where the crude oil comes in from the North Sea and that's where they process crackers and all that kind other stuff and all the ⁓ all the machinery there to to to break it all down into all its base parts. And and I was down there doing that apprenticeship and I realized very early on that I didn't didn't want to do it. And that that led me to the reserve army. speaker-0: But I started and I went down to. set all the cat speaker-1: the territorial army and I thought, ⁓ that's not a bad side hustle. You you have to go and play soldier for a weekend. I get paid a little bit of pocket money for the trouble as well. Great. Problem was is I enjoyed it so much. I went, you know what, after about a year, ⁓ I decided, right, that's it. I'm leaving the apprenticeship and I'm going regular soldier. That's it. And I used the last of my holidays from the apprenticeship to go and sign the dotted line with the army. I didn't know it at the time. My parents were relatively supportive. So so speaker-0: doing it ⁓ back to your question. speaker-1: They're relatively supportive, but I found out afterwards my mum was in tears because she thought I was gonna get stationed in Northern Ireland. Over here, Northern Ireland was like a big thing when it was really kicking off. There was there was always some kind of fighting going on over there. It was always this ⁓ the nasty kind of warfare, you know, the all the all the sneaky bombs, IEDs and that kind of stuff. What scared my mom the most. I'd go over there. So but the funny story is is I never set foot over there once in twenty odd years. So speaker-0: and the the the the And that's speaker-1: They got the ones, so yeah. speaker-0: there. So, my lives are very supportive. speaker-1: So we still have some funny I mean funny story. speaker-0: So that's the cat, Cheshire cat. Yeah. Yeah. So that is 17. speaker-1: From Allison Wonderland. nineteen ⁓ I got that in two thousand and seven. So that's nineteen years old. I was on my second tour of Afghanistan and mum sent me a letter we were having problems with mice. Thought she'd be funny and this speaker-0: old this cat. He's little care package because she thought 10 meters scared them off. So I was keeping little, you know what mean? So This back there, got me that after. speaker-1: Souvenirs like that. Yeah, and the the the other team there one got after I joined the army and it's one of them that shop, I don't know if you get for a that builder bear and a speaker-0: get it over your type shops. Put like apparently a little heart with some funky stuff on it and things like that. It's about a career. that was. speaker-1: But they ⁓ they make it ⁓ make it to measure and she made me that then. So that that's as old as my military would have been two thousand and two, I think she got that for me. So yeah. Like I said, I'm a bit of a mummy's boy, I kinda so speaker-0: So yeah, so. Yeah. speaker-1: Same with my dad as well. speaker-0: We've got, yeah, it is. speaker-1: dad and I, we've always been relatively really close as well. ⁓ person I kind of fall back on when I need to know things or struggle with things or stuff like that. Being so long in the military and not having my own house, I didn't know some of the basics even of DIY and stuff like that. Even in the last couple of I've I've left the military, I've got my house. My dad's the person I'll call. I think we've lost. Have we got I think we've lost. I think I'm down to one man show here. Have we got you? Come on, a one man teams call. speaker-0: And he's, he's that. that. So, here's what back. Let me. Maybe we'll you back. Okay. Okay. It looks like we're still recording. I'll, I'll obviously. Yeah. So. speaker-1: I've attempted to keep smiling the entire time, so you could freeze frame. speaker-0: I'm gonna away with it. speaker-1: No worries. So ⁓ my dad is like he's kind of like that ⁓ that rock, the person I fall back on when I need to help with things or or or don't know things or stuff like that. I mean like being in the military for so long and moving around so much, I never really had my own place. So the most of the place were hundreds of miles away and I never saw the point in buying my own house. ⁓ I never I've never been that fussed on having lots of money and things like that. So trying speaker-0: as I was located at. or to get my own sock. speaker-1: side hustles and rent properties and all that kind of stuff. It just never never I was gonna buy a house, it was gonna be for me to live in, you know. I just didn't really want to get somewhere away f that far away from my family. So I mean, even though I joined the military on away all the time, we were all always been relatively just talk regularly. And ⁓ even now I'm only thirty minutes away and we usually talk with him this morning he'll just call me on the way to work, we'll have a little chat and see what's going on. speaker-0: flip my switch if I'm ⁓ I just anywhere that was, close so we'd always you know once or twice a week. was on the phone, you know, with us. but after I speaker-1: Left the military and we're talking four years over four years now. DIY is not something that I have a lot of experience with, especially living in an older house. So my house is about ⁓ two hundred years plus old take. I think it was nineteen seventy something, I think it was built or something like that. My dad's lived in an older house as well. That's what I grew up in. And if I get stuck with something, you know, I need to go and fix a bit of the roof, or I need to go and power a wall, or you know, all that kind of stuff, straight away I'll get on the phone to him and say, Hey, how do I do? speaker-0: Give it like 18. ⁓ and- fixed. this over for a couple of you know so speaker-1: Or any chance I can get you over beers and you can show me how to do X, Y, and Z. He's that person, I'll just if I don't know something, I'll just give him a call and see what he thinks. If I want to idea off him and things of that nature as well. He's he's still he's a person who I'm quite happy going out for beers with in the pub. As opposed to one of my mates for example. I'm quite comfortable doing that with my dad. And the same with mum as well, to be fair. Although I'm a little bit more polite than my mum, because I dad around the edge for swear at her. speaker-0: You know, and as a I'm ⁓ usually get back. speaker-1: I could get away with a bit more of my daddy's choos funny side of it. speaker-0: It was so that was, that was a bit of a, it was a. speaker-1: It was a strange period in the in that I had people around me all the time, like my wife and my kids, my my my mum and dad were trying to help a little bit as well. Same time it's that you kind of feel alone as the same time because having been in the military for so long and being used to that way of life of life like my my my my parents, I'm the only one from my family to have joined the military, you know, apart from national service, which they used to do here, ⁓ you know, my grandparents might have done it and that I'm the only one to have done to have gone this route, you know, as a career. speaker-0: but at the same you're and coming out of that kind of lifestyle, was, it's hard to, to. speaker-1: For other people to understand when they know anything about it themselves. speaker-0: don't, you know, so it was, was over and, and to do, you know, you're used to a way of speaking, used to way of doing things. You're used to being on certain timeframes and, and do certain routines and habits and that kind of stuff. you used, you know, like the canteen and the area, know, whereas you come out to a, speaker-1: It was quite challenging transitioning trying to figure out what was gonna Yeah. having even just like all the facilities that there on your doorstep, the gym and the It's all there. Civil life. Everything costs money. Everything requires an you gotta travel to and from it. Things require you to pay bills that you're not used to paying in the first speaker-0: everything, know, those things require you to, that you weren't in It's a, there's a whole lot stuff you're used to and speaker-1: host of things that you've got without people around you who know what that's like. Hard it's hard to share that experience. So I found myself getting stressed. I found myself qu struggling a lot figure out a way forward, if that makes sense. But in terms of a new career, a new job speaker-0: It's hard to do with other people and shout out quite a lot to why he's You know, try to. You know, I was looking for anything and everything. Cause obviously from box packing, markets to taxi drive to this job advert by a guy who turned out to be a veteran as well. ex-soldier as well. He was able to say, Hey, look, you'd be great in this position. speaker-1: get my hands on had a family to feed. So from bottom to shelf stacking in the supermarket, you name it. I mean I was just lucky I came across Yeah. speaker-0: Let's get you in here. Let's do a little interview. Just go tick the boxes and all that kind of stuff as far as the companies can, you know, you, you tick those boxes. speaker-1: Is you're you're in and sure enough that was that. speaker-0: And yeah, so was kind of lucky because I post on was, was just luck. That's what's kept me going since really. And what's also trying to do my public speaking as well. you know, but yeah, it was, it was a struggle. was that you've got all these people around you, but at the same time you feel alone at the same time. speaker-1: I found that post on Facebook really. And that's kind of been Yeah. I make Mm-hmm. speaker-0: That's exactly it. Yeah. So I mean... So just because so that you would do a full career would be 20. speaker-1: two years. And at about the twenty year point, you'll then start your transition process two years to a little bit at a time. So over that time frame, speaker-0: if that makes sense and you'll get to do You get a better grant with a good plan. can learn how to your CVs and job interviews, an appropriate career path that you're happy with. What's the kind of stuff? Discharge by comparison and it's with a speaker-1: grasp of what's going on. You can come up with with you know a medical person starts you attending a medical board, you're in with the speaker-0: doctor, this period, this you can last, you know, and because it was all like that. speaker-1: ⁓ interview mine lasted nearly four hours. It was on the back end of the pandemic. It was all over the phone as well, so it wasn't like person or anything. And the la the the doctor sorry was ⁓ was was was perfectly nice, lovely last explained everything to me and I knew they'd handled that injury. speaker-0: She heard me out on everything and didn't feel bad about the way they were talking to me. But at the end of it, she had to say, there was a script she had to follow and it was a surreal thing. She said, speaker-1: ⁓ it's quite from the point you put the phone down, you're just Cecil working, hand over any of your desks and focus on resettlement because for six months from this point, you're out with the military and that ⁓ there's no no coming back. It was all surreal at first. I'd obviously had none of it period. None of that had happened, you know. I had no plan, I had no understanding of what I was gonna do or how I was gonna speaker-0: activity, your task. sit and very because I thought that's two year period to do it. the speaker-1: Me finding that guy on on Facebook that was me again, me clutching find work. You know, I'd I joined an array of job sites and cut and groups and and networking events. speaker-0: and things about nature and it was those that I'd think that's basically how it happened. speaker-1: Because he had that connection, he knew where to place me. But medical speaker-0: Also, because of discharge process, those people there also helped as well because they worked with different parties, if that makes sense. In particular, well, like BTSD because they're all British Legion because they looked after Team UK and they're the ones that did me and helped me a little bit, you know, in terms of getting me going and getting confidence back because, I mean, speaker-1: put me in touch with charity where combat stress was one so I helped my people from them and then the That kind of stuff. And g help me get my sort of motivation back. At that time I had no aspiration or even inkling that ⁓ public speaking could be a possible route forward, let alone actually consider starting my own business stuff. I mean this all happened speaker-0: You know. doing it after the Invictus games, after I'd had the trouble with the diabetes. At that time I got out and I wanted to find out that I didn't speaker-1: that kind of stuff. When I just wanted a way forward, I did I wasn't I wasn't really thinking about myself and what I wanted to do. It was more about I had a family, I had responsibilities, you know, and I needed to protect them and all that kind of stuff. And I didn't know how basically do in a nutshell. It helped me find a way. speaker-0: about the fight. stuff, how I was going to do it. And that's basically what they me to do it. ⁓ so we charge. speaker-1: So we'd originally so before the medical district came along, ⁓ I mean my wife and I, we've known each other since two thousand and nine. speaker-0: to give you an idea. we've been close for a long time. We've been through any relationship, any strong relationship as well, say, because when you've through challenges, can pretty much go through what the world throws at you then. speaker-1: And too thick and th thick, you know, like We were planning on extending. We never speaker-0: expected to go 22, we expected to go beyond that and extend. So when I got my medical discharge, we were actually expecting our second daughter at the time. So my wife was pregnant. the point of that back to your question was, that Stephanie, her name is, she speaker-1: We had our own things going on at that time. We we had st trying to put roots down, so we'd bought our first house. speaker-0: And started. house in Northeast Scotland. was based in England, so Steph went up there with my elder story at the time and I come up every sort of 10 days or so, know, work, you know, to go up and see her and spend a few days and so on. And medical discharge kind of turned all that on its head. And Steph was, sorry, Emma was in the hospital, but ended up coming in, what, six weeks early? speaker-1: England still so with my When we get that work. When the medical charge came, that turned was due to be born in December. She entered in four weeks early, I think, three weeks. Downside to speaker-0: But day that was is that Steph was going into stage one, weeks prior to that, sorry. So she was born in December. was, dare I say, third, I think she went into stage one labor, went to stayed there for two a half weeks. I think she was having contractions every six speaker-1: I ended up going on late two weeks early, two weeks prior born on the ninth. End of the third week of November. ⁓ speaker-0: And the funny bit is when she did go to stage two, was it. yeah, but her own, so she didn't see so much of it. speaker-1: Lasted minutes. ⁓ bottom line of all that is she had thing going on at that time. My folks, again, because I was in doing the medical discharge, I was back and forth a lot from debate trying to get everything that were available to me. I was doing every course I could get my hands on, so I was still I was away more then than I was prior to speaker-0: I will try everything I could out of the opportunities that to me. So. to that, if that makes sense. speaker-1: think they do get it now. But time I'm gonna say they were not so much aware of what was going on. If that makes sense. speaker-0: but at the day that they It's a difficult one answer really because it was a blur. Yeah, there's a lot of things. speaker-1: Things, a lot of moving parts happening at the same time, lots of stuff going on. Trying to do courses, trying to learn how to write CVs, trying to learn how to do job interview, vocational assessments. speaker-0: You know, to try and get a steer on what careers would fit on and so forth. So yeah, a blur. I newborns and you had, this is your second daughter, you said, and how old is your first child? So she was, let me think. So she is seven. speaker-1: So Well seven in August and my youngest will be five in December. speaker-0: So yeah, she'd been to when Emily was born. So Sophia, all this and Emily's the. Yeah. So that all right there. mean, 202 is no joke. No, we've been there for sure. You have this huge life change happening. You and your wife were kind of like, man, we have got to come together on this. How was that? I guess how was that conversation about this new normal and like. speaker-1: When she Is the old youngest? speaker-0: How did you guys pivot adjust? Like, what was that like? Well, I see. So. speaker-1: I'd done I'd started at the bottom rank in the military. speaker-0: I'd started as a box and a private and speaker-1: I'd gotten to a point where I'd completed which is what's called the Foreman of Signals course. It's the speaker-0: created the pinnacle trade position that I could, if that makes sense. Basically, you go from being a bog standard technician at the start of your career to being a fully fledged telecommunications engineer, university degree, the whole whack. I'd said to her that when I was doing that course, because that course is brutal. You get X amount of hundred people apply for it. There are maybe 20 speaker-1: Systems tech Course. Positions on this course once a year month on the course ⁓ people that might apply. speaker-0: And it's an 18 selection process to get, you know, so out of those several, they already take 20 at the most. And you're basically doing an honors degree in telecoms engineering, which might take someone in university, I don't know, four or five years, I think, I'm not sure. We're doing it in 18 months. So that course was, yeah, it was, the nickname of the, called the divorce, you know, cause you're doing speaker-1: Then it's eighteen months. Infamous. speaker-0: I was a study in a night on top of the class every night without fail. mean, there's, was people in the classroom on Christmas day, you know, to give you an idea. Cause we're trying to keep up Yeah. It's not. To go through. I told her that we'd done that, that I was happily tailoring my postings. I try and tailor my postings and she wanted to do, cause she'd followed me enough at this point. And ultimately that's why. speaker-1: The work, yeah. Yeah, 'cause Around her a Christian. Ultimate. speaker-0: We decided to take the plunge leaving the military. We take the plunge and buy a house, know, seven, seven, eight hours away in the speaker-1: Plunge ahead. Even though I was based on the car she could start putting down routes, start on the speaker-0: or that career that she wanted to do, know, basically start to some point. It was just really unlucky. Same for us as anybody, I suppose, that we bought the house in late 2019 and then the lockdown started from early 2020, didn't it? So that kind of put paid to that one. So they're up there, stuck up south in the south of England at this time. And I was in for these only speaker-1: Point down some roots kind. speaker-0: unit that was still deploying troops to Afghanistan. This was 2020 now. Because the British military had pulled out already as an army, we were still supporting NATO. So we were still supporting the troops. So I was the operations officer for that particular unit at the time. I had to be, I couldn't just go home like everybody else was. So working on a skeleton crew, still looking after guys that were moving out on the ground. ⁓ So on and so forth. speaker-1: Point. So on and such like speaker-0: And, but Steph was able to keep moving forward ⁓ with the National Health Service. That was the NHS. So she was considered a priority worker. So she was able to travel and continue working, so to speak. And my youngest Sophia, she was, because Steph, I was able to go to work. She got a priority placement in a nursery. So, cause they were still operating, you know, the bare minimum. So people could still do, you know, provide the basic, the basic services as it were. speaker-1: for career 'cause she worked speaker-0: So Steph was able to keep moving forward that way. I was able to keep doing stuff down. But we obviously had, think it was about four miles. You know, I was in the south of the country. She was up in the Northeast. You're talking about 630 miles or so between us. That was about the distance between, you know, in total. But it was, so yeah, we were used to, we'd done that kind of stuff, you know, together. We'd been, you know, that was why she was in Scotland and why I was down south, you know, even when I got the medical discharge. speaker-1: Yeah. Four months or so apart. speaker-0: I was in Catric at the time, which is North England and that's still seven hours drive. To that way of life, better one, because I'd said that I would, wanted Steph to have that way of life. know? So the point of that was back to your question, we are not ideal because you know, Steph was at the early stages of her career at the time. So she and her wages reflected that, know, so we needed me to get a job. speaker-1: We were we were using towards a ⁓ He already had a layer of financial support there. Or salary referred Yeah. speaker-0: barrel, but we would have had enough to manage. Even if we were scraping the barrel, we'd have had enough with the wage packet coming in. So we weren't in a atrocious place, if that makes sense, but it would have been a struggle had I not got work as well, if that makes sense. But ultimately that's why I was considering anything, just to tip us over that on the right side of that red line, on the bank balance, should say. But we'd been through some challenges already and we'd That's what had led us to that position. You could say that my story into my journey into being there, several things that happened up to that point. And this was part of that, you know, and that's how we'd got, you know, Steph into that position already. So I didn't want to for the kids. That's why my kids are so young. That's why we started so late because I didn't want them being bounced around because I moved on average. speaker-1: And that's My story Brazilian person. She'd already moved me a number of times, even before the foreman's call. speaker-0: I think it was like every 18 months whilst I was in the army and a move meant a different country, a different unit, different team, different kind of job, different communication system. Might be satellite comms, might be radio frequency, might be, it could be a very high frequency, could be, the list goes on, the, didn't want that life for the kids. And that was ultimately why we started late. And I didn't want Steph to have to keep doing that either. Cause I wanted her to have her own independence. And I was quite, I've always been quite keen on that. I don't want being dependent on me to better do things. speaker-1: Do the thing you want. speaker-0: to do. I don't want her feeling like she's got to ask, you know, can I have some pocket money or can you, can you do this for me or whatever? You know, I want her to be able to choose, you know, to have that choice, you know, which I think is that the freedom to ask the questions and then do what she'd like to do rather than what she's got to do, if that makes sense. Yeah. In weird, wonderful way. ⁓ speaker-1: So we'll my mind. speaker-0: But yeah, you're good, man. ⁓ Yeah. So you guys had a plan. You communicated. You were, so you're able to, the communication is really like what helped. It sounds like what really helped you guys was just being open and honest. Like here's what I need. Here's what you're doing. Here's what I'm doing. And I guess that, that seems like to be like a solid, like just having that communication. Even it sounds like you guys even trusted each other too. Like you were able to trust each other with this pivoting. Yeah. It was, we're quite lucky in that respect. mean. speaker-1: We we met on we're we met online. We ⁓ speaker-0: met on a dating site. mean, I, we lived in completely different locations, know, different parts of the country, appreciate it. So, you know, I was in England at the time and it was only a small country. Don't get me wrong. We'd by comparison to some of the States in the U S for example, but the, is still a fair distance apart. So we had to make a plan to meet, if that makes sense. You know, and when you've met someone blind, mean, you hear all, you know, being catfished and all this kind of stuff and the other. So we met in a very public place and. speaker-1: I'm speaker-0: And she had an injury at the time. she's on crutches as well. we just started talking. went and I can't remember exactly what we did, but we just started talking and then just, it just didn't stop really. yeah, we've, we've kind of been together really ever since. And it was that. So it's, yeah, we've done, me wrong. We've, we've what relates fights. You know what mean? At end of the day, it's, if you don't care about something, you're not going to fight, you know, you just ain't going to care less, you know? So yeah, we've, think, draw a bit of a pull. speaker-1: Yeah. Right. Without trying to story. speaker-0: forward too far. Like there's a good video, which you could see YouTube channel on speaking SPC. All ceremony. Sure. We'll get to it all at the end anyway. the, but the, the, the bit about it is after I got the medal, ⁓ a really emotional family moment. And it basically was because Steph was the only one who thought everything about what we'd been through to get to that point, if that makes sense. And you can kind of see it in the video by how we're kind of reacting. speaker-1: It on my channel as well. Which I'm sure. speaker-0: ⁓ cause it was, yeah, that could, that, that video, think alone answers the question you're talking about there because we've been close. We're, we're not perfect. We have our fights, we make mistakes, we do whatever, you know, and everything else, but we, we back each other up as a bottom line. It's, ⁓ swings around about some of that kind of stuff and you accept the good with the bad and, know, and help each other to be the best version of yourselves, you know? So yeah. Yeah. I love that you said that the best version of ourselves. And I think that's so important. Like in marriage. So a piece of your story, I want to make sure we honor and talk about is the Invictus Games. Like if someone is hearing that for the first time, what is that? How do you describe that? Like, is that? was that? speaker-1: So if you imagine an event like the Paralympics, a multi day, multi sport event speaker-0: event that takes place periodically in different countries around the world. The Paralympics, it's every sort of give or take, every 18 to two and a half years, there's no sort of set time limit between them. It's been going speaker-1: Months, Been now, I believe, eleven or twelve years, I think. speaker-0: It was a brainchild of Prince Harry and a couple of the names. the, was fortunate enough to meet him. He's the guy that actually put the medal, put the thing around my neck. So, and again, you'll see that in that video if you, if you, you ever want to watch that video on YouTube, but yeah, the, the, the other, there are a couple of the key differences to the Invictus game. So it's very much like the Paralympics and how it looks and in terms of the kind of sports, see the way it's laid out that kind of stuff. But the key ⁓ differences are that it's serving. speaker-1: That middle there. Show. speaker-0: it is to basically, to those people, know, from their respective countries, served in their countries, it's to support them after they're called the the wounded, injured and also in a nutshell. And the blunt truth of that one is, is that it's a list that no service person will join. Nobody wants to be on that list. And a lot of people do find them struggling with it. mean, I, and I was ultimately one of them, you know, speaker-1: No personnel brings the military to be on Tows. speaker-0: And that's why I went to the Invictus games. That's what I wanted to get help with. the, can do that. You want to do up to a limit. you could do up to four as long as they didn't coincide at the games. Cause obviously you can't compete in two at the same time, you know, so you've got to pick that aspect. So, so I picked four different ones and the main aim of that was to milk everything that I could out of it. I just wanted to get as free journey as I could, you know, because I had all these injuries. speaker-1: Ultimately. War sport. Far down that recovery. speaker-0: mental health and the PTSD are rubbing into that as well. It's big walking bag of disaster. It's easier than trying to go down this list of injuries and such like, but that's ultimately why I'd signed up. I signed up for swimming and there was an array of different swimming events I signed up for. There was power lifting, which is basically the power power lift, which is just the bench press with your legs strapped down. So it basically opens it up to a lot more people. ⁓ speaker-1: I just described myself speaker-0: kind of irrelevant of limitations and such like, know, and then indoor rowing. there was a one minute and a four minute best effort. So it was like a morning one and then an afternoon one. And then the, the last two were two that I'd been doing for a little while already, which was road cycling. So one was the time trial and the second was a criteria, which is kind of like the last 20 kilometers of a Tour de France stage, very fast, very chaotic, know, really close quarters sort of cycling, you know, speed with speaker-1: Cycling. Right. speaker-0: and in close proximity with the cyclists. it's a lot ⁓ of risk, a bit more fun for it, if that makes sense. know? but yeah, that I'd signed up. just wanted to get the most out of it. That's what I wanted to do. and, it was going, it was going that way and basically until it wasn't. And it kind of turned on its head quite quickly. I'd been, I'd gained a little bit of weight after getting out of the military. I drank a bit too much. I'd eaten too much crap, you know, and usually speaker-1: Story. speaker-0: And just not looking after myself. And I was watching my weight as I'd gotten into the training and doing all the stuff, you know, for the games and attending the training camps and such. Like I wanted to try and lose some weight. knew how to do it. I've got a lot of background as a physical trainer and such like, and it was, everything was going fine. And at the beginning of May in 2023, I was 86 and a half kilos, give or take. the, was around then I started noticing things weren't quite right. So I was noticing I was thirsty and so I was drinking, but then I was going to the toilet. In terms of the issues, but then I noticed I was going to get up in the middle of the night and go to the toilet and then I got up twice and then three times. And then it got to the point where I was going every 90 minutes throughout the day and night. And this was within about a week, you know, so by the second week in May, the weight was coming off me at rate of knots that I couldn't quite explain. speaker-1: often more war or that more so you know things were relatively logical, you know. speaker-0: my calorie intake to try and match, know, thinking that would, you know, maybe it was to do with the training or maybe it was because I was drinking more water than normal. I'm just tired all the time. I was really lethargic all the time. was still functioning, working, you know, I'm still trying to provide it, you know, be around the family and still trying to train. I'm competing in local events to get experience and things like that. Not seeing there's a real issue in my performance in terms of, know, this is what I was doing a month ago. I'm not even coming close to it now. You know, what's going on? What's the difference? What's happened? And at the two week point, was the point at which I went, you know, I really am getting a bit, I can't explain why the weight is coming off me. It's coming off me so fast now. It got to a point where the last couple of days, it was almost two kilos a day. this is calories a day, you know, I just couldn't explain it anymore. And I've got like a problem solving process that I kind of follow whenever I come across challenges. And I just get past a point, there's a certain point we've got to go to understand. speaker-1: Even though I'm eating four thousand speaker-0: your, the problem you're dealing with. And I just couldn't understand what was going on. I just couldn't get past that point and I just get more more stressed out and worried. So I called the doctors and the doctor sent me for tests and the long story short there is at this point, I'm at just a touch over 70 kilos to put that perspective. So two weeks prior to that, was 86 and half. So that's a little over 20, over 25, 26 % of my body weight had gone in two weeks. Yeah. So I joke with people now and say, know, diabetes diet is the way for telling you, if you lose a bit of weight, it's not, do not try it. ⁓ no, no, no, it's just kidding. But, but yeah, it was the 19th of May, 23 doctors basically said it was a Friday as well, which is quite poignant because the doctors basically explained to me how serious it was by saying that if I hadn't come in when I did, I'm the weekend basically. It was that it really was quite bad. And yeah, that's when they said to me, I was. It's basically because I'm a type one diabetic and I'm diabetic ketoacidosis processing the sugar that was in my bloodstream because it was digesting the carbohydrates, which was then turning the glucose over sugar. And my pancreas wasn't producing the insulin to counter it, if that makes sense. um, and ultimately, so in a nutshell, my body was eating itself from the inside out. It was pulling in all the fat stores and all the energy stores and muscles. And that's where the weight was coming, going, you see. Yeah. And, speaker-1: From something called speaker-0: Yeah, that's essentially what was going on. They gave me the advice you'd expect to get, you're really not well. It really is serious. You need to think about, you know, dropping out of the team, focusing on your health and just accepting that this is just not the right time, which is a bit of a pill to swallow because after everything else, you know, this was only a year earlier that I just got out of the military. The significance of that is, that typically type one diabetes happens early. in life much earlier with kids and that, you know, it's usually hereditary. So you'll get it like from a directly from a parent. In my case, neither of my parents have got it. None of my brothers have got it. I'm one of five and the doctors think that the other way to get it, which is a bit, a lot rarer, it's later in life and it can be caused by damage to the autoimmune system. Um, and that's what they think happened. And they think that's because of the stresses that I went through, through that medical discharge process. Yeah. speaker-1: Just speaker-0: And it just, didn't show itself until that moment, you know? And yeah, they, I convinced them to give me the weekend to think about it. And they, I just kind of decided that I kind of went through my process the following morning and I just decided that, know what, if I'm going to keep going for it, I've got to set a target that's going to keep me focused on it. Cause it's going to be a nightmare to do this. It's going to be an incredibly difficult challenge. the speaker-1: significance of my goal has got to match. speaker-0: scale of my challenge. was kind of like an epiphany moment I had. that was the moment I went, you know what, bugger it. I'm going for that thing. So if I'm not going for that thing, I'm not going to talk. Simple as that. And that's where everything changed. The recovery journey I went there completely got completely parked, sidelined entirely and all the focus shifted on Traddell and deliver this condition and compete as well, I should say. So long story there, apologies. But the reason I say that is because where I had been on that recovery journey and I had been trying to milk everything I could out of that experience. mean, they'd, I'd been getting guidance and the injuries they'd sent me for x-rays on my back because I'd had issues in my back and I'd it down to other things. It turned out that I had a permanent spinal defect, which causing the back pain and the occupational health teams and the medical teams in the army had basically misdiagnosed it and treated it as a typical injury. So if I hadn't gone to the games. speaker-1: Four. speaker-0: on that recovery journey that things like that would never have been noted. see, I'd just take off in the painkillers and do my exercises thinking that I've been it. that's what I was trying to do. But that all got parked. I got that x-ray in before that of course, but yeah, but the, it all got parked for that. my experience in the Victor's games changed quite dramatically. Focus got turned on trying to learn to live with this condition and do all this training and, and, you know, go through all the, the, the, the, speaker-1: All the speaker-0: nuances and stresses of traveling about and going to the training camps and getting overseas to Germany and doing the games and so on and so forth. And it was, it was that video that I mentioned earlier. It's you see just stress we'd gone through. say we cause Steph, Steph saw it. She saw all, cause she's, everything has gone with the training. Whereas my teammates only saw at the training camps, which are like every other weekend or so, you know, and you did that moment. We got the medal. All of that, you know, all that just dropped off us, if that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. So it was, it was quite, it's quite a strange thing to say that I went there for one thing and walked away with something completely, you know, cause it's mean you see all the bumper that's behind me here. That was since the games that was me looking for other goals and tried to do other things. I've never really been a, a metal hunter, so to speak. mean, speaker-1: Work pressure. speaker-0: As physical trainer, was a sport billy. did lots of different sports. I was a jack of all trades, master of none. So I could do lots of things, but I was never good enough to place in anything. know, but I enjoyed it. You know, the Victus games just. I had an in-review situation that, you know, had it not been for that, I wouldn't have done it, if that makes sense. ⁓ story Like if they're sitting with. what message would you say to them? And even most people don't. So, Brandon Lee. Yeah. Yeah. So, one my all time favorite movies. Very good actor. Real shame that he died. But there was a particular line that always stuck with me. In this movie came out, think, correct me if wrong. I think it was like the late nineties or something like that. I think, but so it's been around a while, but there was a movie where he's basically his partner was him and he comes back from the dead to ⁓ speaker-1: Do remember the the movie ⁓ The Cro Yeah. speaker-0: take vengeance basically and all that kind of stuff. And he meets this other character and he's trying to get understanding of what's going on. And Brandon's character is telling him that, know, Shelley's girlfriend, she used to love the little things, but he used to think they were kind of trivial. And he looks at this other character and he says, believe me, nothing is trivial. And that line always stuck with me. And that I think is the message I would give to people is that It's the little things that make the difference. There's no big thing that you need to try and get. There's no crazy, I mean, me targeting that is one thing, getting it is quite, to get it, I had to do all these little things, all these different things and just keep doing it consistently. And then therein lies the key. It's the little details that lead to the bigger stuff further down the line, if that makes sense. speaker-1: Little details done consistently. speaker-0: that example where consistency beats talent every time, if I make sense, at least most of the time in my humble opinion. it's, I describe, I describe resilience when I talk about it with people as I call it the safety net of resilience and you get a net and you get to make a net. Each one of those speaker-1: Strings crisscross right Strings pulls on something else. speaker-0: take your income for example, if you have one job and you lose it, that's all your income. But if you have lot of income, let's say you might sell things on eBay, you might have a full-time job, you might have a part-time job, might be trying to like, so set up your own business, you might do a bit of trading on stock market, multiple different things. It might be like in our household, we've got two of us, we're both working, we've got two incomes coming in. speaker-1: income stream for example one job gone, but you've got multiple sources of income. speaker-0: But the point is, is that each one of those would be a string, a different string, you know, and then you've got, ⁓ you might have two households. So if one breaks down, you've still got the other one. you know, that's, that's another string. You've got your house or you've got a solar panels on the roof. So if your electric goes down, you've still got that source of energy to pull on. You might stock up on batteries or things about nature, applies to things. All of these different things, know, such like that net. speaker-1: Yeah. Or additional war supply you may. speaker-0: So when that challenge, net catches it, if that makes sense. So, and that's why I call it safety net resilience. That it catches that challenge and allows you to absorb it like a net so that you can carry on with your routine. And that that's the key. All the little foundational things that we do in our lives to allow us to maintain that routine and protect our way of life. If that makes sense. And that's back to the point. It's the Nothing is trivial. It's the little details all add up and they're there when you need them. That's the key to resilience. It's not something you go and get when you need it. It's something that's always there in the background because you're keeping on top of stuff in nutshell. good like books, resources. speaker-1: Yeah, yes go to my web speaking S Links channels are in there. We are I am writing my book at the minute. ⁓ most of most of speaker-0: So the easiest one is to go to website, sbsc.com, all my social channels, I'm on Facebook and so on. What I do, I do face to face or virtual. So for any anywhere in the world, you know, I'm quite happy with timings and such like, so I'll work with any group that wants to get in touch. But yeah, it's I'm trying to do my YouTube thing where I talk about speaker-1: So I am open to virtual talks as well. own little I just talk about little snippets of resilience and the different things that we can do to make ourselves more resilient. But I'm still sort of in my own have some product ⁓ speaker-0: But, only days in a minute, I will add stocks to potentially, uh, the people could get their hands on. I'm about, dare I say it, 30. speaker-1: Eventually, but thousand word words into my book. I wanna I'm aiming thousands, I think. Cross between a name a personal memoir speaker-0: Minute 35. and a, and a how to, you know, how to go. So, but yeah, early days. Yeah. But yeah, the website is the best place to go. speaker-1: I'd how to be more resilient.