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We Escaped With a Backpack. Now I’m Building a Home for My Kids. · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: My name is Natasha Bamblett. I'm a proud First Nations
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  Speaker 1: woman and I'm here to acknowledge country. Hello, beautiful friends.
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  Speaker 1: We gather on the lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank,
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  Speaker 1: acknowledge and respect the Aboriginal people's land that we're gathering
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: on today. take pleasure in all the land and respect
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  Speaker 1: all that you see. She's on the Money podcast, acknowledges culture, country,
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  Speaker 1: community and connections, bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources
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  Speaker 1: for you to thrive.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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  Speaker 2: that lets you be pervy about other people's money stories
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  Speaker 2: for educational purposes, of course. Welcome back to another one
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  Speaker 2: of our money diaries brought to you by our friends
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  Speaker 2: at Sky Wealth, where I get the absolute privilege of
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  Speaker 2: sitting down with one of our incredible She's on the
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  Speaker 2: Money community members and talking to them all about their journey.
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  Speaker 2: Let's jump straight into it because this week I got
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  Speaker 2: a message and it sounded exactly like this. Hi, She's
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  Speaker 2: on the Money. I'm a First Nations woman who grew
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  Speaker 2: up with domestic violence, financial hardship, and a very clear
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  Speaker 2: understanding that we were poor. That followed me into adulthood.
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  Speaker 2: I made some difficult money choices, financially supported the wrong person,
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  Speaker 2: became a mum at 20, and later found myself raising
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  Speaker 2: my child alone. There were times I was living so
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  Speaker 2: close to payday that I'd sneak a nappy home from
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  Speaker 2: work because I couldn't afford another packet. I'm now married
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  Speaker 2: with three children, have completed a degree and returned for
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  Speaker 2: my master's, worked my way into leadership and now earn
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  Speaker 2: a strong six-figure income. After finding she's on the money,
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  Speaker 2: I'm clearing my debt, changing my habits and beginning the
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  Speaker 2: journey towards buying our first home. Money diarist, are you kidding?
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  Speaker 3: No.
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  Speaker 2: Are you for real? That's so exciting. It sounds.
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  Speaker 3: really good when you say it all together like that. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Do you know why? Because it is really good.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you. What do you mean?
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  Speaker 2: And so many of our First Nations friends in our
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  Speaker 2: community really struggle with changing that generational poverty, like going
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  Speaker 2: through having domestic violence in the family, having financial hardship.
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  Speaker 2: It is so easy to just replicate again and again.
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  Speaker 2: It becomes generational. You've broken it. You've changed it.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: That is so cool.
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  Speaker 3: All right.
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  Speaker 2: Let's learn a little bit more about you. Before I
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  Speaker 2: dive into my favorite question, I need to ask, Money Daris,
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  Speaker 2: what grade would you give your money habits from A
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  Speaker 2: through to F if I asked you to give them
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  Speaker 2: a grade?
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  Speaker 3: I'd say around a C minus still.
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  Speaker 2: All right. All right. Let's learn more about it. Let's
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  Speaker 2: dive in. Money Daris, can you tell me a little
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  Speaker 2: bit more about your money story?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, growing up, it was my mum, my dad,
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  Speaker 3: my brother and I, and we were surrounded by a
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  Speaker 3: lot of domestic violence, financial hardship, and we knew that
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  Speaker 3: we had no money. It wasn't a secret. And we
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  Speaker 3: knew that... Like times were tough and when we did
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  Speaker 3: get something that was of value, it wasn't really in
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  Speaker 3: a traditional way either. We did escape that situation, my mum,
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  Speaker 3: my brother and I, when I was around nine. And
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  Speaker 3: so I had to watch my mum rebuild from nothing.
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  Speaker 3: And I watched her go back to uni as an
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  Speaker 3: adult and become a nurse and meet my stepfather who died.
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  Speaker 3: supported us from around age 12 onwards.
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  Speaker 2: Stop it. Mum sounds like a powerhouse.
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely. She's definitely the strongest woman I know.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, and like to leave with like kids, that's crazy.
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  Speaker 2: Like I'm not saying it's crazy to do, like it's
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  Speaker 2: just so hard to do and knowing that you're not
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  Speaker 2: going to land on your feet and you're going to
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  Speaker 2: have to go back to school. She did it anyway. Oh,
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  Speaker 2: I hope that we can get her money diary one day.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I should tell her.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, you hook us up because I just think that
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  Speaker 2: would be so special. Like what an icon that's already
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  Speaker 2: been through it. Tell me a bit more. So you
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  Speaker 2: got a stepdad who started supporting the family from about
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  Speaker 2: age 12?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, so he also was not wealthy or anything, but
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  Speaker 3: he helped mum. He actually had a financial background in
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  Speaker 3: his work role. So he was able to help mum
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  Speaker 3: kind of make better habits as well. That set us
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  Speaker 3: up for the future as a family. We still didn't
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  Speaker 3: make a lot of money as a family or live wealthy.
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  Speaker 3: We knew that everything was tight and what we did
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  Speaker 3: have was a real blessing, but we weren't sort of
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  Speaker 3: living paycheck to paycheck or going without anymore.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so nice to hear that it pivoted while
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  Speaker 2: you were still kind of a child. What did that
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  Speaker 2: look like? So in terms of you going, Victoria, we
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  Speaker 2: knew we didn't have money. Was that because that was
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  Speaker 2: the conversation? Was that because you were like, look, it
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  Speaker 2: was obvious? What did that actually look like to you
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  Speaker 2: as a child?
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  Speaker 3: I think being in a home that's surrounded with DV,
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  Speaker 3: there was a lot of alcoholism and gambling addiction. It
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  Speaker 3: wasn't hidden behind a closed door. The DV, we experienced
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  Speaker 3: it and witnessed it. So you knew when there were
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  Speaker 3: arguments about money or.
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  Speaker 3: We knew that my mum would have to hide money
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  Speaker 3: in order to buy food for us and stuff. Like
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  Speaker 3: it wasn't a safe environment. And when we did escape,
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  Speaker 3: we didn't like have a normal traditional mum and dad
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  Speaker 3: are separating kind of situation. Unfortunately, my dad actually went
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  Speaker 3: to jail for an extended time period. So that gave
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  Speaker 3: my mum an opportunity to escape safely. There was still
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  Speaker 3: the whole, you know, TV Hollywood version where we literally
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  Speaker 3: left with a backpack. for a little while until his
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  Speaker 3: sentencing date. But once that date occurred, we were able
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  Speaker 3: to come back. But coming back, my mom had no job.
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  Speaker 3: She had no money. And so we ended up moving
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  Speaker 3: into my aunt's house where she kind of supported us
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  Speaker 3: or helped us with housing while my mom got her
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  Speaker 3: life rebuilt from nothing again. And eventually we got our
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  Speaker 3: own rental and that's when we then met my stepdad
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  Speaker 3: and everything. So it got better as we got older.
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  Speaker 3: But yeah, we were a part of that. It wasn't
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  Speaker 3: something that was hidden away from us. There was no
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  Speaker 3: kind of, there was no real realistic way that you
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  Speaker 3: could not observe that.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And I ask, and I'm really grateful that you're being
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  Speaker 2: so open with the conversation because I think that it's
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  Speaker 2: something that unfortunately a lot of people can resonate with,
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  Speaker 2: but you're being very generous with sharing so much. So
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  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for that. But When that happened, where was
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  Speaker 2: your mind at as a child? Were you kind of like, yes,
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  Speaker 2: I know we need to get out of this circumstance?
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  Speaker 2: Or were you like, oh, no, I don't know what's
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  Speaker 2: going to go on. Like our life is in turmoil
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  Speaker 2: because like a kid just doesn't get it in the
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  Speaker 2: same way that an adult does. Like you try and
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  Speaker 2: you can see what's going on, but that doesn't mean
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  Speaker 2: you comprehend it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I mean, it's not funny, but it's, you know,
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  Speaker 3: you're what's that you rhetorically say oh well it's funny
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  Speaker 3: stories but I actually remember and I talked to my
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  Speaker 3: mum about this a lot as an adult that I
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  Speaker 3: came to her and I was like why can't we
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  Speaker 3: just go and mum said that's what gave her the
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  Speaker 3: strength to be like yeah okay let's do it.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my heart you were like um this just doesn't
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  Speaker 2: make sense mum you don't seem to be having a
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  Speaker 2: very good time.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. And yeah. And that's what I mean by like,
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  Speaker 3: we were observing it. It wasn't like, oh, mum and
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  Speaker 3: dad are in the room arguing, like the whole house
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  Speaker 3: felt it and walked on eggshells and Yeah. Wow.
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  Speaker 2: And has that really shaped how you've looked for relationships
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  Speaker 2: and brought up your children?
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  Speaker 3: I think so. I mean, of course, I am a
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  Speaker 3: lot more observant of people's characters than I think other
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  Speaker 3: women would be or women and men, I guess, because
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  Speaker 3: I've seen red flags. But there's so many different variations
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  Speaker 3: of a red flag in a person that it doesn't
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  Speaker 3: have to be physical abuse or control and coercion to
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  Speaker 3: be not a safe space.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely. You are not wrong there. So tell me about,
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  Speaker 2: you got out, right? And I feel like, I want
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  Speaker 2: to say lucky because none of this is lucky, but
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  Speaker 2: like in my head, I'm like, how good is it
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  Speaker 2: that your dad ended up incarcerated and probably gave your
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  Speaker 2: mom the permission to be a bit more free in
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  Speaker 2: the decisions she was making because if you're saying Victoria
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  Speaker 2: we left and hid for a while that's telling me
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  Speaker 2: you are not safe at all but then knowing that
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  Speaker 2: that person that was the unsafe person was not able
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  Speaker 2: to access you probably gave her the freedom to make
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  Speaker 2: decisions that she otherwise couldn't have.
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely. We talk about it a lot. My mom and
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  Speaker 3: I are very close. She's my best friend. And we
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  Speaker 3: actually sort of say the what if all the time, like, oh,
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  Speaker 3: what would our lives be like if that never happened?
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  Speaker 3: Because she genuinely doesn't know how we would have eventually
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  Speaker 3: got out. So it really was like a blessing in disguise.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: The ducks really were in a row for you guys,
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  Speaker 2: which is like, again, not luck. Like you make those
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  Speaker 2: things happen, but I'm just, I'm so grateful for it.
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  Speaker 2: So Tell me a little bit more about becoming an adult.
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  Speaker 2: So we mentioned your new stepdad at 12. What were
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  Speaker 2: your teenage years like? Did you get a first job?
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  Speaker 2: Did you start earning money? Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: So I started working from like 14 and I've never
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  Speaker 3: not had a job, but even though I was in
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  Speaker 3: an environment where I could witness how that financial abuse
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  Speaker 3: and hardship impacted someone, I went on the other side
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  Speaker 3: of that, which I guess feeds into that cycle. As
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  Speaker 3: soon as I got money, I was kind of like,
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  Speaker 3: about money, I'm going to spend it. And so I
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  Speaker 3: never implemented any good habits from the get-go. And I
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  Speaker 3: was a lot of trying to keep up with my friends.
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  Speaker 3: Like if we were all going out on a weekend
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  Speaker 3: and going shopping or to the movies, the money that
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  Speaker 3: I earned was how I could tag along. Like my
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: parents weren't able to give me a pocket money allowance
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  Speaker 3: to go and join them. So as soon as I
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: got my little 14-year-old job, that money was spent that
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  Speaker 3: same week. So it started very young of going paycheck
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  Speaker 3: to paycheck. And then as I increased my expenses, it
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: continued to do that. So I got my first full-time
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: job and I wasn't like, now I can save. I
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: was like, now I can move out. I can afford
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  Speaker 3: a rental.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And it's not lifestyle creep at that point, I don't think.
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  Speaker 2: Because in my head, lifestyle creep is going from you know,
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  Speaker 2: buying a cheap mascara to the more expensive one and
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: you kind of slip into more expensive habits. But I
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  Speaker 2: think it's just the viewpoint of what finance actually looks
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  Speaker 2: like because you wouldn't have ever been taught, hey, money, Doris,
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  Speaker 2: this is saving, this is investing, like, you know, these
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  Speaker 2: are your buckets, this is how money works. You would just... great,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: more money means more things I can pick, right?
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  Speaker 3: Yes. And my understanding of money growing up was like
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  Speaker 3: money is for the bills. So I was like, well,
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  Speaker 3: I can afford this phone and this car loan and
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  Speaker 3: whatever else bill because I have money now. But there
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: was no like, but how do you protect that money?
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  Speaker 3: How do you put away for the future and the
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: bad rainy days? It was just like, no, I can
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  Speaker 3: extend my paycheck to paycheck allowance now so I could
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  Speaker 3: afford more.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, 100%. It was like, especially if you don't grow
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  Speaker 2: up with a level of financial literacy yes absolutely especially
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  Speaker 2: in a second stance like the one that your mom
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  Speaker 2: went through like you saw that when money came in
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  Speaker 2: she made a plan for it she made a plan
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  Speaker 2: for it to go out and I think it's interesting
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  Speaker 2: because so many people go well why didn't they just
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  Speaker 2: start saving Can I guess that you didn't know that
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  Speaker 2: you were even meant to?
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  Speaker 3: Absolutely. There was also nothing left over to save. Like
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: we grew up on lay-bys. So whenever we did get
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: something that was of a high value, it was because
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: mum paid it off for weeks and weeks and she
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: knew the shoppers because she'd be there every fortnight on
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: payday making her minimum repayment kind of thing. And so
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  Speaker 3: there was no, yeah, you put money away, it was
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: always let's make ends meet. And then that whatever's left
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: would get us what we need for the future. Yeah. Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And I think that if we look at it through
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  Speaker 2: that lens as well, your mom was probably really good
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  Speaker 2: with money. Cause like you're saying, look, if we made
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: a decision to get a lay by, she was there
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  Speaker 2: every payday making that happen. Like she had her bills.
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  Speaker 2: She knew what was coming up. Like she didn't have
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  Speaker 2: her head in the sand. She just didn't have enough
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  Speaker 2: and didn't have the level of financial literacy she deserved
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  Speaker 2: to go, well, actually, this is what a really good
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  Speaker 2: plan looks like. This is what we should be working towards.
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  Speaker 4: Yes. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: And it wasn't until we met my stepdad, he just
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: happened to own his own home and he had a mortgage, obviously.
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  Speaker 3: So when we moved in with him, that was mum's
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: first experience of a mortgage. So I still didn't see
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: what it was like for somebody to have to go
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: through a mortgage process. We just moved into one there
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  Speaker 3: was no like conversations about oh we're saving for a
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: house deposit and for me to be like what's that
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: it was just you live in this house now.
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  Speaker 2: And okay and he owns it and you go okay
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: that's different because last time I lived in a house
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: somebody else owned it so this makes sense yes yeah
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: yeah and I think that that's it's not a bad
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: thing but so many times this is why people in
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: your circumstances will carry the money story of I'm just
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: bad with money or, you know, everyone in my family
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: is bad with money or, you know, that's just not
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: what happens because that's your genuine lived experience. Because if
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: it's not been role model to you, why on earth
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: would you be able to do it?
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  Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. A lot of what I've learned about money
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: has been in the last couple of years, not even years,
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: more like 12 months.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I love that. So tell me a bit more
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: about becoming an adult. So you lived with your stepdad,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: he owned the house, like you didn't really get an
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: experience of you know, stating for your first home and
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: that role modelled. Did you move out at 18?
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  Speaker 3: Pretty much. So I was always a worker. I'd always
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: had a job. But like I said, I immediately would
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: be like, how do I extend my expenses to fulfil
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: this entire check? So as soon as I was able
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: to get a full time wage, I moved out. And
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: I had a boyfriend at the time who was I
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: obviously wanted to live with me and I was really
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: naive and I was like, oh, we're going to get
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: married and if we ever want to own a house
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: like my parents do now, we need good debt, not
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: bad debt. So I supported him and I would be like, oh,
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: your car payment that you can't afford, I'll pay it.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because in your head, repayments mean good credit history
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: and good credit history means you'll be given more credit.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah. I definitely, I mean, it's hindsight or whatever.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: It's in the past I've moved on, but he definitely
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: took advantage of that. There was a lot of situations
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: where I, yeah, I look back and I think, why
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: did I pay for him to live or live with me?
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: And I paid his bills and I... had this full-time
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: wage and I had nothing to show for it.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah because he saw that you would do that and
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: maybe didn't mention that you should be putting yourself.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: First yeah no definitely not.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: No no he was like great so you've got another
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: hundred dollars I guess you could give that to me
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: that is exactly how it happened yeah yeah and you
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: would go oh yeah you're right and I think it's
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: so stupid really you know what it's not stupid though
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: And that's so important to point out. So many of
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: us look back at our money story and you go,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I was so dumb. But how were you meant to
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: know things that you hadn't been taught? Like, I'm pretty
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: sure if I sat you down on that day that
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: that happened and I said, babe, what's your times tables?
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: You probably could have told me because you had been
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: taught those at school. If I'd sat you down and said, hey,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: what's the power of compound interest? You'd be like, what?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: And that's fine because you had never been taught, but
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: we can't look back on money decisions that we made
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: that had no education in making and go, well, that's
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: because I was stupid. Well, no, you're a smart thing.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: You just didn't have the tools and resources available to you.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: And I think so many of us are so hard
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: on ourselves when if your friend was in that situation,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: what would you tell them? You wouldn't go, yeah, you're
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: a bit dumb. That's not how we talk to our friends,
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: is it?
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: I know. We're so much harsher on ourselves.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: And it makes for such a worse journey. Like you
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: just probably hang it on yourself and go, oh, I'm
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: an idiot. Like I can't do this and I can't
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: do that. That doesn't help anything. But also that narrative
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: is not true. Anyway, I just, I get quite passionate
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: about that. So tell me, you got out of that relationship?
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: So he's actually the father of my eldest boy. So
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: we got pregnant at 19 and 20. And by the
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: age of 22, I kind of came to my senses
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: and was like, I want more than this. I actually
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: remember sitting in the car and thinking to myself, is
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: this as good as it's going to get? Because I
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: knew that we were living paycheck to paycheck and we
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: had a child and I had been nothing to show
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: for it. And it was when I found out I
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: was pregnant that I was like, I'm going to go
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: to uni and study and try and have like a
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: bit of a more successful career for my kid. And
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: And that's kind of what snowballed into like where I
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: am today. Still plagued with lots of bad financial choices,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: but that was a moment where I was like, yeah,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: I can do better than this.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. And so you left and what happened?
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: I went to uni. It was, I do nursing. So
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: there was a lot of placements and I was really
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: fortunate to be supported through my mum to help with
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: babysitting so I could do that.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because mum's an icon. We already established this.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I followed in her footsteps because she's also a nurse.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: So the shift work helped accommodate me doing shift work
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: where we could tag team with my youngest.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: That's so sweet.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I had to go a little bit slower. I...
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: Couldn't do it at the full-time, full courses a semester
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: like other people, but I would use the third trimester
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: to try and catch up and not have it extending
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: too long. And throughout my degree is when I met
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: my now husband. And although we are in a better
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: position now, I still had all of those bad habits
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: of being like paycheck to paycheck and that eventually led
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: escalated because to study, I had to give up my job.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Not immediately, but by the time I was ready to graduate,
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: we were making like $ 700 a fortnight out of the
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: two of us. And we'd had another child together. So
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: now we had two kids and we had to move
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: back in with my parents to make ends meet. But
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: as soon as I graduated... like I thought that would be, oh,
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: it's okay now. Like we're going to be fine now.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: But I still had all those terrible habits that I
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: couldn't let go of.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And it makes sense because you were comfortable with them.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Like you knew them, like you knew how you spent,
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: like change sucks. But at what point did you go,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: something has to give, like something has to change. This
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: isn't working.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: That was probably about two years ago now, which is
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: when I first started to pay attention to money. Although
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: we'd always been paycheck to paycheck and having children, I
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: don't know whether I was delusional. and thinking, well, you
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: can't have everything. I think it's your podcast that says
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: you can have everything just not at once.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I do say that. Yeah.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, that's definitely us because we've
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: got these children. So now we have to pay these
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: exorbitant daycare fees, but it's not forever. So I kind
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: of justified never having money. which not in a negative
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: way because it did make sense like it was the reality,
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: but I was always like, it'll get better soon. But
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: it had to take a bit of learning and habits
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: to really turn that around because I was, you know,
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: your typical millennial that's consumed by all of the stupid
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: kitchen gadgets and needing like everything that Kmart has and
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: all the online shopping. Like I definitely fell into that trap,
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: very impulsive at purchases. So it really took a minute
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: to kind of calm down and go like, let's kind
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: of reevaluate where we are. And that teed up really
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: well with when I found She's On The Money to
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: continue doing that.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad you found us, but also low-key Kmart
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: and kitchen gadgets, they're really fun. So like, I know, like,
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not here saying that's not cool. Don't do that. Like,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I get it. It's really cool. I love a kitchen gadget.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: But also, we have to make decisions that help future
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: us and we need to find the balance. And that's
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: why I say, look, queens, you can have everything. We
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: just can't have it all at once. Like, we go
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: through different chapters and we go through different seasons of life.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: And like, at the moment, the daycare season, I get it.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: I really do. Oh my goodness. Why is it so expensive,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: but just also consistently chaos? I was saying to my husband, okay,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: it's expensive, but do you know what the cherry on
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: the top of that is? is the fact that every
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: time I pick my kid up from daycare, he's like
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: the most feral version of himself. So it's costing more
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: for a worse outcome. Like obviously I adore daycare. Don't
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: get me wrong. Like I don't want people thinking I
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: don't like it. I really like it. My son adores it.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: But if you haven't had a toddler that you've picked
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: up from daycare and then brought home and they're a
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: screaming mess, I don't know what you're doing. Like send
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: me your tips.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Very true.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: So tell me, now what do you do for work
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: and how much money do you earn?
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: So I'm a nurse. I've stepped into a leadership managerial role.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: And with my master's, I went back to uni and
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: did my master's. I get like a qualification additional wage.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: So I make just under $ 150, 000 a year now. What?
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: That's crazy cool.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was another reason why I was kind of like,
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: we really need to evaluate what we're doing because I've
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: never earned this much money in my life, but I've
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: also never had good money habits and I don't want
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: to ruin that.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it really does slip through your fingers. I
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: think that a lot of the time people give themselves
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: the same narrative that you've just explained where it's like, oh,
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: when I earn more or, you know, when I'm not
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: paying daycare fees or when I'm not X, Y, Z,
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: like then I'll be good at money. But that actually
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: never comes. And it's the lamest quote in the entire world,
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: I promise. But everyone's seen it online. I've said it
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: a million times. If you can't manage $ 10, there's absolutely
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: no way you could manage $ 10, 000. And I think a
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: lot of the time people go, yeah, whatever. Like, I'm
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: not going to make a plan for $ 10. And I go, yeah,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I get it. It sounds a bit lame. But if
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: you don't do that... you're actually putting yourself in a
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: bad position because what happens when you get.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: $ 10, 000?
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: If you can't make a plan for $ 10 and then
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I give you $ 10, 000, I promise you're going to do
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: what old me used to do and that's gone. I've
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: already made a plan for it and it's not a
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: productive one. It's probably a bit of a holiday, maybe
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: some shoes, nothing good, I promise you.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's actually exactly what happened to us. So it
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: was two years ago we moved because I got this
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: new job that was going to give us a really
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: nice pay rise. Coincidentally, the job my husband moved into
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: also gave him a pay rise, but we still didn't
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: do anything positive for that first 12 months. And then
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: after that 12 months passed, So we've been in these
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: new roles for a year. We kind of were like,
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: we need to sort something out. So that's what we've
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: been doing for the last 12 months.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: And I think that that can be a bit confronting
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: as well. Like I'm assuming you got 12 months in
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: and you and your husband were like, hey, so... we're
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: in exactly the same position. We've earned more, but we
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: have the same amount that we always had. Like, is
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: that what happened?
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yeah.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: And it's rude, isn't it? I don't like that at all.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: I know. And it makes me feel guilty because then
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: I reflect on, I continued all these bad habits.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, I understand that narrative, but I would argue with
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: you that there's no point feeling bad about it because
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: you don't know what you don't know.
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: If you knew better and you weren't doing better at
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: that point, I'd be like, okay, yeah, you're right. That
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: probably wasn't ideal. And that was a quote bad habit.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: But like, can it be a bad habit if you
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: didn't know that it was even bad?
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. True.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: Like it can't be. Anyway, tell me, what are your
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: big money goals? What are you currently working towards?
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: So we're hoping to build. We've signed all our contracts.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, really? Already? Yes, yes.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: But I'm nervous because I don't really understand it. But
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: like the money people say it's normal because our land
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: is not ready to build on until next year. But
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: we've got to sign all the contracts now. And they said,
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: but your pre-approval will lapse. You'll have to redo it.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, I'm happy to do that.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: We've obviously been pre-approved in order to sign the contracts,
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: but now we've technically signed all these contracts, but we
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: don't have any money to pay it because the bank's
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: got to go through that whole process again. And they're like, no, no,
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: that's normal. And I'm like, that's really scary.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it can be normal. But I think that I
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: would be asking my broker a few more questions about like, well,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: why is that normal? Why does the bank do that
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: so that you fully feel educated in that space? Because
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: at 3am when you're thinking, I've just made the biggest
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: financial decision of my life and I'm not entirely sure
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: why people are making decisions like this. that can be
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: a bit negative. So like make sure you go back
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: to your broker with really clear, specific questions and go, hey,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: what does this mean? And, you know, tell me why
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: my pre-approval won't last. I'm pretty sure they're going to
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: tell you your pre-approval won't last because you only get
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: pre-approved for about three months or 90 days at a time.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: And if the loan doesn't settle, you have to redo it.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: But I want that to come from, I guess, your
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: horse's mouth so that you go, okay, I'm comfortable with that.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: And I know what that means.
• 26:33
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Yep. I think I only get nervous though because having
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: 20 years of adulthood of never having money, I'm always
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: thinking like, oh, well, anything could happen and we could
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: be back in that position.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Well, totally. And that's why it's so important to look
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: at your money goals, look at what you're trying to
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: achieve and actually create a plan to make sure that's sustainable.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: So is that something you've been looking at? Have you
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: been doing like a budget and a cash flow?
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Funnily enough, even though I've always... been either paycheck to
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: paycheck or not earning enough. I love an Excel budget
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: sheet and I love doing the numbers. I've always struggled
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: to follow through because of my impulsiveness and bad habits though.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I totally get it. And I am such a
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: spreadsheet girly. Have you done my money masterclass by chance?
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: I haven't. No, I did look at the template and
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: I kind of blended the template that I already use
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: with yours. Cause I was like, Oh, I've already put
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: all this effort into creating this template. So I was like,
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: I don't want to start from scratch.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to send you my money masterclass so
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: that you can kind of start from scratch. Cause it
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: sounds like you've been using the free budget on our website,
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: which is amazing. But the money masterclass has a budget
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: and a cashflow spreadsheet. So basically I know that you
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: don't want to start again, but in my spreadsheet, if
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: you put in all of the money that you earn
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: and what you're spending money on, it will literally spit out, okay,
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: this is how much goes into your emergency fund. This
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: is how much goes into your like fund to make
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: sure that your rego is covered. This is how much
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: you spend on food, fuel and fun and this goes
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: here to make a money system that is actually going
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: to mean that you will not go backwards.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounds like what I think then.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like sometimes budgeting is all well and
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: good but if it just entered into a spreadsheet and
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: then saved on your desktop and it's not actually being
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: implemented through your automations or your actual bank accounts, It's
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: not going to have the power that it needs to have.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: And that can be really confronting because I'm sure your
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: spreadsheet is gorgeous, but it doesn't matter what it looks like.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: It needs to be followed through in your everyday life.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: And that to me has always been the hard part,
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: which is why I made an automated system. Because I
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: was like, if this isn't automated, I'm not going to lie,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: I won't do it.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: All right, Money Darius, let's go to a really quick
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: break because on the flip side, I want to get
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: your thoughts on investing. I want to talk about how
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: much this land has cost you. We're going to talk
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: about personal insurances and your best and worst money habits.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: So don't go anywhere. All right, Money Darius, we are back.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: Tell me about your superannuation. You're a nurse. Is that
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: tracking well?
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I hope so. I've looked on ChatGPT after listening to
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: other money diarists where they talk about what's an appropriate
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: amount for their age. Mine's sitting at $ 59, 700. Oh, that's good, Queen.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: I think it's because my job automatically adds money, which
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I didn't realize.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: So, ChatGPT said that's okay for my age. So, I
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: was like, I won't add anything to it additionally other
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: than what work's already doing.
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: Yes. Yes.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Fair. And then investing outside of superannuation, is that something
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: you've thought about or have you just been channeling literally
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: every dollar into this land purchase?
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: A little bit of both. So I obviously, through listening
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: to the podcast, I was like, what's investing? How do
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: I get on top of that? And I'll be honest,
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: I haven't actually put in enough research to understand it.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: I have started a sharesies, but I still really don't
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: know what I'm doing. I'm just like, yeah, here we go.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: Throw the money in there. I've only been doing it
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: since the start of April, maybe. And there's about $ 200 left.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: I just do $ 40 a fortnight.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's just slowly building up.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: And one thing I am proud of is after listening
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: to the podcast, I've started that shares these kids accounts
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: for my kids. So I've got three kids and obviously
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: the youngest gets less than the oldest because I feel
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: bad about the fact that they're not going to be equal.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: That's okay. But sorry, did you just tell me that
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: As somebody who grew up in a domestic violence situation,
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: your mom escaped that. You're now investing for your children's future. Yeah,
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: it's funny.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: My stepdad said the same thing when I told him.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: He was a bit like, oh, oh my God, are
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: you really? I was like, yes, I need like $ 10, but.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Sorry, it's not just $ 10. It is not. It's the habit.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It's starting to contribute to their future in a way
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: that they are going to be able to talk to
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: you about. Like you didn't grow up with people surrounding
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: you going, hey, here's a budget. hey, here's money that's
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: been invested for you for your future. This is why
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: we invest. Investing is important because of A, B and C. Like, sorry,
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: you're telling me that's how your kids are going to
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: grow up? It's not actually about the dollars in the account,
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: my queen, like they are going to become adults and
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: they are going to be able to contribute to that themselves,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: but they're going to know to do that from the get-go.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Imagine if you were 18 and someone had set you
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: up with this and you were like, no, that's just
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: how money works.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: We're very, that's one thing I think growing up struggling
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: with money, I guess we're very transparent in our household
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: of like, it's Sometimes, actually sometimes it's not a good
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: thing because every payday my kids will be like, hey,
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: it's your payday this week.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Where's the dollars?
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: They're thinking, is it our payday? I'm like, no, no,
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: that's my payday. But they're on top of it. They'll
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: be like, do we get any pocket money? Like, can
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: I do any chores? And I'm always like transparent in like,
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: if you want to talk money, then let's talk. This
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: is how much our current rent is. This is how
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: much this phone costs. Like, to let them at least
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: understand that just because we get paid doesn't mean suddenly
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: we're rich for the week.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: But that's so powerful. And I think so many times,
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: especially as women, we look at it and we go, oh,
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I'm investing for my kids, but it's not much. And
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: it's honestly not about the amount that you're investing. In fact,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: there have been times where I've done financial advice in
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: the past and told people, hey, you actually need to
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: stop contributing as much as you're contributing to your kids.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Because as much as we love them and we want
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: them to thrive, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: And it's actually going to be more financially beneficial for
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: you to contribute. financially look after yourself and create your
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: own really big emergency fund and create your own investment
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: portfolio and just teach them the habits and the consistency
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: so that they can be successful individually. And I think
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: that we just go, oh, because there's not thousands in there.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: It's kind of not worth it. But that's not the
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: case at all. Like that's not why you listen to
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: the She's On The Money podcast. You don't listen to
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: the She's On The Money podcast because you immediately have thousands,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: do you? It's about setting up the habits and creating
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: the life that you deserve from scratch.
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. And we now, obviously, only within the last
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: few months, we'll talk to them. If they get birthday
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: money and stuff, we'll automatically say, well, how much is
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: going in your investment? And they'll obviously be like, oh,
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: do I have to? Like, I really wanted to buy X,
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: Y and Z. And I'll be like, you need to
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: do 20%. Like, let's talk about it.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so cool.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: I am obsessed.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: They're going to be like, And you know what? Even
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: if 16-year-old you was sat down and told about compounding interest,
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: I think you would have been like, nah, that's not
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: for me because also I can go to the movies
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: because that would have been me. Tell me about debt.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: You have just talked about purchasing some land and it's
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: not going to title till next year, but How much
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: have you purchased it for? What does that look like?
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so we've definitely missed the boat on like nice
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: house and land opportunities. And we've made peace with that
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: because I really felt like we were being ripped off
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: of an opportunity. My, pretty much everybody I know bought
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: around like 2018, 2019, 2020, or we're building, sorry. And
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: they all did it for about 500K or less. For
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: the land and our build, we're looking at 870 and
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: we're getting like basically the same thing that everybody did
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: six years ago. So I get a little bit annoyed
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: by but I'm like, that's not anybody else's fault. Like
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: it's just the way it is.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: And it's also not their journey. So like, yes, you
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: can see what they have purchased their home for, but
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: you're the one that is putting investments in your kids' names.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: You're the one that has an idea of what your
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: superannuation looks like. You've even been chat GPT-ing it and
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: looking at what that means for your future. Like just
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: because they got a cheaper house than you doesn't mean
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: that they are more financially secure than you will be
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: come retirement. I think that there's a misconception that everybody
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: who bought way back in 2018, 2019 is going to
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: be so much more financially secure. I mean, they could
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: be if they were investing, if they were looking at
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: their superannuation, if they had a good budget and cash
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: flow system, I'm sure they could be. But that's unfortunately
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: not the reality of it. a lot of people in
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: that position go, yeah, we got our house a bit
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: cheaper so we spend all the rest of the money
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: that other people have to spend on holidays and stuff.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely. And it's always the like shock reaction from
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: other people who are like, oh, you're paying that much?
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, that is like we are– actually trying
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: to not spend that much. That's just the reality of
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: what it costs, but it's their shock reaction that bothers me.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, totally. But that is just their experience being compared
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: to your experience and in a completely different economy. Like pre-COVID, sorry,
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: if I could go back in time and purchase pre-COVID,
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: my queen, I would. I just, I didn't have that
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: opportunity available to me. We ended up purchasing during COVID, which,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: you know, financially was a good decision for us. But
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: There are so many things that if I could go
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: back in time, you know what I'd buy? So much cryptocurrency. Like,
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: can you imagine if I just put $ 100 into cryptocurrency
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: back in 2015? I'd be like rich, rich.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so true.
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: But we've all got regrets. I think it's just so
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: important to always take other people's comments with a grain
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: of salt.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Because you could be like, oh, my favorite color is blue.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: And they go, ew, I like green. Like, so what's
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: that got to do with the price of fish? Because like, unfortunately,
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: their incomes won't be paying your mortgage. So if that's
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: the case, they don't get to actually have an opinion.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, very true.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: So in the bin with them. So tell me, are
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: there any other costs that aren't included in that figure?
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: That should be inclusive of everything that I can account for.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: Very cool. Do you have any other debts?
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so we have... From, well, if I go back
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: 12 months ago, we actually had five loans and we
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: are almost down to two.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Stop it.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So that was part of the whole like reflection
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: of we're doing terrible. We need to fix this. Sorry.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: In 12 months, you've gone from five loans to two
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: and you've still been able to purchase a block of land,
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: get the pre-approval for that for like within the like
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: high six figure range.
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: What?
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: And you're thinking, oh, we're still doing so badly.
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah. I'm always my worst critic.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, I can be my worst critic too, so line up.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Now tell me what are the two debts that remain
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: and what do they look like?
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: So we've got one debt is the car loan. It's
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: got about 12K on it and it finishes in I
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: think about 14 months and the other one is about
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: 12K again or maybe 13 and it finishes in 24 months.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: It's a high interest, like one of those... loans you
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: apply online, you never meet anyone and they just go,
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: sounds good. The money will be in your account in
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: a few days. And I did it to get plastic surgery.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: So that leads into my impulsiveness as well.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. And when did you get that debt?
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: 2023.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: And is that something that you've spoken to your mortgage
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: broker about maybe rolling into a different personal loan? Because
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: if it's an online... high interest personal loan, and you've
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: been approved for a mortgage, I'm going to take a
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: stab in the dark and assume that a bank would
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: probably approve you for about $ 12, 000 in a personal loan
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: that maybe would incur less interest.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: I actually have never even considered it. I think because
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I've historically been so impulsive and like, oh, there's $ 300
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: in my bank account, each pay left over. That means
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: I can get a new car that I just trying
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: to get rid of everything rather than like actually take
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: the time to be smart and go, let's reconsolidate it
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: or anything. I'm just kind of like, don't touch it
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: because I've already ruined so much.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: No, no, that's where I would get a little bit of, well,
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: obviously I would never give you financial advice, but... I
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: feel like that's something you should highlight to them and say, hey,
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: could you please look into options to refinance this to
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: a lower interest rate? And then you pay off the
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: same amount, which means you're not in a different situation.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: You'd save some interest and then also probably pay it
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: off sooner while not having someone take advantage. Because I
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: feel like a lot of the time, those high interest loans,
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: they are taking advantage of you. It was so easy
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: to get because they were like, this is going to
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: be money in the bank for us.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: Absolutely. Yeah.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: And it just annoys me so much because like, I
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: don't care why you got the debt, but I care
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: how you pay off the debt and what that looks
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: like because you deserve better.
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. My fear of touching it definitely comes from the
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: fact that it's not like the first time I've had
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: a high interest crappy loan. It's like the eighth or
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: something like I've so often being like oh I need
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: money don't worry I'll get money by the end of
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: the night and then I would get the money I'm
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: very good at paying it back so I've never been
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: to the point where I have to owe them I've
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: always paid on time but I would always be like
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: if they'll give me the money I'll take.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: It yeah and that mentality makes so much sense but
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: I also now know enough about you that girlfriend Did
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: you think about going, and I'm not trying to shame you,
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: I promise, but did you think about going to just
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: one of the big four banks and getting a personal
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: loan instead? Or were you like, nah, it's too much paperwork?
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: Honestly, it was more of I don't want to be
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: told no and not knowing better to have a proper
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: smart conversation. It was just like, who online? and they're
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: not dodgy but the business is in that they're like
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: you got money here you go so it was definitely
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: like a honestly it come from like a place of
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: shame as well like it's like something going through the
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: process I felt shame doing because I knew it was
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: so dumb but I was like this is how we
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: make ends meet and this is how I'll impulsively get x.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: Y and z totally and I I get the shame
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: thing because like I remember that was the situation I
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: was in. You've probably heard my story. I got myself
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: into more than $ 40, 000 worth of personal debt. And I'm
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: not saying that that was okay because it wasn't. But
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: like when I was paying that off, I remember Googling
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: like interest-free loans and, you know, like, loan consolidations and
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: stuff like that. And then not wanting to reach out
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: because I didn't want the person to be like, Oh
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: my God, that's such a dumb loan. How did you
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: do that? And then me having to tell them, Oh,
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: it wasn't even on anything good. Like my situation wasn't
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: such that I was trying to put food on the table.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Like mine was absolutely discretionary spending. And that made me
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: feel really guilty, but I didn't want to sit down
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: with someone and have them go, Oh, why'd you get
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: this loan? Like, I promise any good broker would never
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: ask like, and I want to know because I'm pervy,
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: like not because I'm judging you. Like you said, plastic surgery.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: And I was immediately like, what'd you get done? Was
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: it good? Like that's where my brain went as opposed to, Oh,
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: I can't believe you do that. So get someone who's
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: on your team because it is costing you so much
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: more money to have that loan as opposed to one
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: that would might be a little bit of an uncomfortable
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: conversation at the start. But I promise like it wouldn't
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: be like it's our job.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. I'm definitely going to
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: do that.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: So tell me a little bit more about personal insurances.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Is that something that you've ever looked into and set up?
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: I started the process again because of what I've learned
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: through the podcast. And I booked a call. But I
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: didn't get the opportunity to answer it. And I just went, oh,
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: I'll have to call them back. And I haven't done
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: it yet. But I've only got my super insurance.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: And have you had a look at that? What does
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: that look like?
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: I have looked at it. I think it's like $ 370, 000
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: for the total permanent disability or death. But it's the,
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: you have to wait the three months for your income insurance,
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: like all of them, I guess.
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty standard. I would take a stab in
• 43:51
  Speaker 2: the dark and again, not advice, but given you've told
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: me you have three children, I don't think 300-ish grand
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: is going to be enough if something was to happen
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: to you. but that's why you have to pick up
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: the phone. And that's okay. But like you already said,
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: I need to get that in order and I'm working
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: on it. But to me, I'm always like, please make
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: sure that's okay because that's the thing that's going to
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: make sure that your kids get the life they deserve.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: It's definitely in the to-do basket. I just haven't got
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: back around to it.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Totally. All right. Now tell me, what do you think
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: your best money habit is?
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: I think it's taken time, but I've never followed a
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: financial trend. Like when everybody was getting $ 80 water bottles
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: or $ 150 work bags and everything like that, it was
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: never something that I cared for. I love a dupe.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: And I... and definitely someone they'll be like, Oh, that's
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: really nice. Where'd you get it from? And I'll be like,
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, Amazon or Timu. Like I immediately will
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: be like, yeah, it's on Shein like, and show people
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: immediately how to use it to also find the same bargain.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. I mean, I don't love Timu
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: and Shein, so I'll just pretend I haven't heard that,
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: but I do love an Amazon moment. And I feel
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: like I'm a resourceful queen with like AliExpress. Like, if
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: something is for sale, like I found a baby monitor
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: the other day and I was like, I swear this
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: looks like an AliExpress thing. And I Googled it and
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: found the link and purchased it. And it is identical
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: to the like real version. Cost me like a hundred
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: dollars and you're a mom, so you'll get this, but
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: I got two cameras and one like monitor and of
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: what other people are paying like close to $ 500 for.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: And when I started looking further into it, turns out
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: the quote legit company here in Australia is just drop
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: shipping the AliExpress one with their label on it.
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: Yes, that is actually something I love to do. As
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: soon as I see something I want, I'll screenshot it
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: in Google image, reverse search, whatever it's called to find
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: it on the website first. Yeah.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: And it annoys me so much because I'm like, hold on.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: So many people are being taken advantage of here because
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: that's not what happens. Like, don't get me wrong, happy
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: to pay for quality. If I look something up and
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, that's legit. Like you're not going to
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: get a Dyson hairdryer on AliExpress, you know?
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: No. Yeah.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: But when I look at something and I go, hold on,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: you aren't being fully transparent here. You have found something
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: on AliExpress and now you're wholesaling it and selling it
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: as your own. To me, that doesn't feel right.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah. My current, obviously with building a house, even though
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: it's not going to be ready for like over 12 months,
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: I'm looking at furniture. And so I'm doing a lot
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: of screenshotting of the furniture and finding the exact same item.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: It's the exact same image that they use as well
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: and seeing the markup.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Isn't it crazy? One of my friends actually purchased a
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: whole heap of furniture and on AliExpress through a wholesaler
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: and it came a couple of months ago, it is phenomenal.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, you obviously have to approach all of those
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: things with caution because obviously some things are definitely not
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: what they seem. but she did all the research. She
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: had all of these reviews. She'd been talking to this
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: person for ages, then did a bulk order. And I
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: think it cost her like $ 5, 000, which is a lot
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: of money, but she got like $ 30, 000 worth of furniture.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: Yes. Yeah. Love that.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Crazy. Let's flip the narrative though. What's your worst money habit?
• 47:24
  Speaker 3: I think my worst money habit would be that I'm
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: still very impulsive. So although I can easily bypass whatever's trending,
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: if there's something else that I've determined I need that,
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: I can't actually not think about it. So for example,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: with moving and building, even though it is a fair
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: while away, I can't stop thinking about it. And I'll
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: go and like lay by towels for the new house
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: that doesn't even exist yet. It's still a patch of dirt.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: But that's exciting.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: And I mean.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: If you make a big spreadsheet of everything that you're
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: purchasing and need to purchase, like we might be getting
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: a really good deal, but the impulsive side of it,
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: probably not ideal.
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: It's the impulsiveness and the need to do it straight away.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Is there something that you've been trying to implement
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: to combat that? Like, have you been like, look, I've
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: been really trying or are you like, nah, just still
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: buy the towels?
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: A bit of both. I have actually, funny, I did
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: make a spreadsheet of everything that I looked at and
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: would like, and I've kind of gone, what am I
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: looking at that I can't stop thinking about? And I've
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: kind of highlighted those to be like, okay, well, let's
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: just get those by the end of the year. And
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: the other part, I won't even look at it. Yeah.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: So fair. So fair.
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: Try and take it off my mind.
• 48:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: No, I get that. All right. I want to reflect
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: on everything you've just told me. Like we started your
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: money story and it started with, I'm a first nations
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: woman who grew up in a family violence situation. your mom,
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: your brother, and you got out of that situation, started
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: from scratch, you're now earning 150 grand plus. like you've
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: got these epic money goals. You've just like purchased a
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: block of land. You're investing for your kids. You're smashing
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: down your debt. Like you've already made the call to
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: get personal insurances.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: You sound a little bit like me and that we
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: sometimes need to pick up our phone when it calls,
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: but like, that's not the worst thing ever. But you
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: gave this person that we just had a really beautiful
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: conversation about a C minus. Do you feel like that's reflective?
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: Maybe a B minus. I am a really harsh person.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: I think as well, I'm very all or nothing. And
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: because I'm still so early in flipping around these habits,
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm in the midst of it. I'm
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: right in the guts of it all. I'm not on
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: the other end yet to sit back and reflect and
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: be like super proud. But I also have to realize
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: it's a never ending journey. Yeah.
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: I was about to say, well, when's that? Like, when
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: do we actually sit down? Like, do we sit down?
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: Is it when you're in your house and I come
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: over for a cup of tea and you say, Victoria,
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: I've made it? Because I can almost guarantee you go, yep,
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: now we are trying to make sure that we cash
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: flow these mortgage repayments for the next 30 years. And
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: then I go, okay, cool. Do I come back in
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: 30 years? And you go, yeah, but then also we
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: need to talk about our super. Like, I think we
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: need to learn to enjoy the journey because my queen,
• 50:11
  Speaker 2: your journey has been nothing short of epic. Like, are
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: you kidding? Now you're like investing for your kids and
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: you've bought your dream property. And I know analysis, paralysis
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: and comparison culture is killing you at the moment, but
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: like run your own race. You're doing really well.
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I definitely need to slow down and
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: appreciate where I've come from.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent. Like if I had started in the
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: same position as you and had achieved exactly what you
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: had achieved, I would be insanely proud of myself. But
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: it sounds like especially like just reflecting on the conversation
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: we've just had where you said, oh yeah, heap of
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: our friends purchased in 2018, 2019. I reckon if I
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: lined up those friends, they have a number of privileges
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: you didn't have.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: Yet you've still achieved exactly what they achieved. Like that
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: is out of this world cool. Like I just, I'm
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: so excited because I know what that means, but I
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: don't think you see how cool you are yet. Oh, thanks.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: And that's okay. That's my job. I'm going to keep
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: working on that money, Doris. I wish we had more
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: time to hang out today. It has been an absolute pleasure.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing your journey and having a really
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: open and candid conversation with us. I just, I hope
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: we get to keep in touch and I hope that
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: we get to cross paths in person at some point.
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.
• 51:33
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• 51:36
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• 51:39
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• 51:43
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