Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 39: Runaway Thoughts: How to Break the Spiral and Find Mental Peace

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Episode 39: Runaway Thoughts: How to Break the Spiral and Find Mental Peace · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Denise, a speech and language pathologist and a self-love coach for adults and teens.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist, and we're here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind and soul From the latest in functional medicine, of healing your body, mind and soul, from the latest in functional medicine to nurturing your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even transforming your money story.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: we're here to empower you with the knowledge and tools to create lasting change.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: So, whether you're looking to heal physically, emotionally or spiritually, join us as we explore the many paths to wholeness and wellness.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Heal Yourself Podcast, and today Denise and I are talking about thoughts, which we've talked about, thoughts before.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I'm sure We've talked about thoughts, emotions, all the things, and you guys know we're often inspired by things happening around us, and Denise and I have been having a lot of thoughts lately.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Well, and I'm laughing because it's like it's not just thoughts, it's the idea of what happens when I can't shut my brain off and what happens when these thoughts are like going rogue, right, we're getting thoughts that are not serving us not necessarily intrusive, but they could be but overthinking all of those things.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, we thought this would be a good episode, because I know I've got clients out there who, you know, get the hijacked thoughts and they're like how do I get things back on track?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: So that's what we want to talk about.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I mean we all do.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I was hijacked by my thoughts on Sunday Exactly, and and it doesn't end, and that's what we, you know, we can't.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: We people think like, oh, you know, once you're like really advancing your journey or whatever, like these thoughts are just going to disappear, or these emotions, they don't, they're still there.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: It's just you have a different strategy to use.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: So I saw them, you know, spiraling, and another strategy right now I use is speaking out loud about them.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: So I was saying my thoughts out loud and what led to another to another, and I was doing it with my husband, obviously, because you know, I, you can do it by yourself, but we're just sitting outside.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: And then I noticed how irrational my thoughts sound out loud and and I was like, wait a minute, that is weird.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: And then this is when I, you know, question your question.
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: You're like wait a minute, this is a story that I am creating yeah, so did you know that the number one google search around like mental overload is why can't I shut my brain off?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: No, I thought that was interesting.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: But I hear a lot of people say you know, I can't shut my brain off.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: My brain is constantly on and I'm like it's not like you want to shut it off, like obviously you don't want to die.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: But you've got to learn, like.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: The thing is is we have thoughts, and I don't remember what the number is.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: We looked it up years ago, right, it was like, yeah, it's an insane amount of thoughts that run through your head every day.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: We can't get rid of them.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: But the thing is is you've got to figure out if those thoughts are serving you, and so we all have that mental chatter.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: That's like going, going, going.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Like oh, I'm going down this spiral and I'm trying to meditate and I'm thinking about what I'm cooking for dinner tonight, and then I'm thinking about that and it leads to, well, oh my gosh, what, what am I having for lunch today?
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Like it can keep going.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: It's normal, right, like part of our human experience is having these thoughts and thoughts that run rogue and we don't know how to shut them off.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: But, like Denise said, we have to learn how to witness this chaos and then not shut it off but turn it down.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I want to add that when our mind is overthinking and it's overracing and it's not like the term not shutting off or what it's, because you're remember, your subconscious is constantly trying to protect you, right?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: It's constantly trying to keep you safe or whatever from your thoughts sometimes.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: So, um, and then what it needs?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it just needs three solutions.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: You don't have to write them down, you don't have to, like, you know, maybe just think about them.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: You don't even have to do them, but you're giving your minds.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I, I learned this from somebody and I've been utilizing it and even though sometimes I'm like I'm just gonna suggest three solutions and the solution, sometimes I'm like I, I'm just going to suggest three solutions and the solution, sometimes I'm like I'm not doing it, but at least I gave my subconscious like, hey, I'm giving you some solutions.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: You know we have some autonomy right now, right?
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: So, whatever you're constantly thinking or overthinking or obsessive thinking is happening, you definitely want to, whatever you're thinking about, give it at least three solutions, whether write them down or, you know, kind of pin them in your mind and then just kind of whether you carry them or not, but at least you're giving your mind something to do, like you're kind of giving it the safety, like, hey, I hear you, I know you're trying to protect me, here's a solution.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: And sometimes the solutions are silly, like I'm like what?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: That's a stupid solution.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: But at least, and also add humor to it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I cannot stress enough, like adding the humor.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Especially when you're talking with yourself about your thoughts.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: You're like wait a minute, that was dumb or like you know, or that was not, that did not serve me, or blah, blah, blah yeah, well, and the other piece around that, too, is like you don't always want to just turn things positive, right?
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: If you're thinking about X, y, z, we're not saying that every time.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Just make it something positive, smile through it Like no, that's not healthy either, but it's.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: Is this thought serving me right now and if not, how can I change it?
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: You don't have to go from A to Z.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: It could be.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: I'm just trying to think of a scenario.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: I'm going to actually give an example.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: So, speaking to a client today who I'll be curious if she listens to this episode because it was prime timey, but she was doing something in like a mindset lesson that I have for my clients, and she was like I was listening to you and you're saying I want you to write a letter to yourself, as if you're already healed, you no longer have symptoms, and she goes.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I realized as I started doing that she said she started crying because, as much as she wants to feel healthy, she said she does not believe it and the thoughts that are running through her mind all day are I'm broken, I'm never going to get better.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: I've been dealing with this forever and even just having that awareness has allowed her to start to make shifts.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: And that's what we spoke about.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: And you and I say it all the time, denise it's awareness.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Having that awareness of oh my gosh, these are the thoughts that are running through my mind.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Next time you have that thought of I'm broken, I'm never going to get better, yada, yada, yada, you can pause and say this is not true, and then you choose what that next thought is.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: It doesn't mean, oh my gosh, I'm healed.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: It's amazing, that's unrealistic, but it could be something as simple as it's okay, I'm on my healing journey.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: That is a much better thought than I'm broken.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: And it's more a healing thought.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Right, it's a healing thought and I love what you added about it's not, it's not an accordion to neighbors, and the thoughts are just and you're not going to go from feeling down or negative to immediately changing it, absolutely.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: So I also want to add about triggers right, because sometimes what happens we hear something, that that thing that someone says or an action someone does triggers us and it spirals our thoughts, right?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: So another thing that we want you to, we want to add how the you know kira added the awareness piece is also understanding your the triggers, right, you know, taking that, like okay, kira said something and then that triggered me, but why did it trigger me?
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Like what did it, you know?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: And then just kind of like journal about that and you know, kind of like look deeper in that, and you can always say I am being triggered right now by this.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: However, again, I'm not broken, I'm not this, I am on my healing journey or I'm looking forward to more.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of like, keep it neutral and more to like you are on that journey because we're all, or name the emotion.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm always saying you know, I'm angry at this moment, because my boundaries were crossed and I just need time to, you know, get back to my homeostasis.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: So that's why sometimes I'm telling those thoughts.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I go to my mirror.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: It's just have these tools in your toolbox and utilize them on the daily.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: So when the trigger happens, when the thoughts happen, guess what?
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: You have at least one strategy to use.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the thing.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: We're always going to deal with this.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: I can't say that enough.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Like I was leaving a message to Denise this week because my thoughts were running rogue and it's like, as I was saying it to her, I was laughing too, because I'm like I know, I already know this, but I need to also hear it from you.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: So don't forget that you can rely on other people to help you through times too.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: So if your thoughts are going to a negative place and you're struggling to pull yourself back in, even if you have all those tools, it's okay to phone a friend.
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: And you're struggling to pull yourself back in, even if you have all those tools, it's okay to phone a friend and say I need you to talk me off the ledge, not not literally.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Please don't get to that, go see.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: But like you know stupid little things and that's what I was messaging denise it's like I know these thoughts are not serving me and I know how to shift them, but I almost want to just hear it from another person.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Because we want validation sometimes and it's important to have that support system.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: So I'm glad that you mentioned that, like have somebody that you trust, that you can, you know, kind of like remind me of my greatness, right?
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: And another thing that I battle with a lot, with my thought, especially right now remember, because I started my speech business and things are taking off.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Why didn't I do it earlier?
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Why did it so right now?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: We that I started my speech business and things are taking off.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Why didn't I do it earlier?
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Why did it so right now?
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: We get the regret thoughts and this, but also understand that you are where you need to be at this moment, right.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: So had I started five years ago, I probably wouldn't you know what you know.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Like, it's just this I needed to be in this moment I needed.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: So, like always we've mentioned this viewing your life experiences is just that life experiences.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: And stop defining your life based on a life situation, because a life situation or life experience, according to Eckhart Tolle, you know it's just, it's fading, like it's not gonna.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: This, too shall pass, it's not gonna stay forever.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: So that's why do not base your value and your beauty upon those life experiences.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, well, and I think the other thing I want to say about this is it is a practice.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Everything on your healing journey is a practice.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: So think of it as like you brush your teeth.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, it's something that you do every day, right?
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Maybe you don't ride a bike every day, but brushing your teeth, we'll use that one.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Everybody should be brushing their teeth every single day, right?
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Denise is making a face Should be brushing your teeth every day.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: It is a practice.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: It's not that you're actually practicing it you know how to do it already, but it's something that you do every day.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: This is something that you have to do every day.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Check in with your thoughts, check in with what am I thinking right now?
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: What's running through my mind?
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Do I need to shift that?
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Are these thoughts serving me?
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Because, like Denise said, we have an insane amount of thoughts that run through our head every day, but most of us do not have that awareness.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: We have no idea what's going on up there.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: You have to pause yourself.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: You have to stop and think through those thoughts, right?
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: You have to stop and listen to what's going on in that head of yours.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: What's the mind chatter?
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: That's a practice.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: That's a daily thing.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: It is a daily thing and you got to break the pattern.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: If you are the type of person who keeps pushing through and pushing through and pushing through and not taking that pause, guess what?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Those thoughts, when you're pushing through and not taking the pause to recalibrate, are going to run even more rogue and they're going to even, you know, create more chatter and more, you know, negative thoughts or whatever.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: So it's really important to practice the feeling also in your body.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I want to add right.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: So also feel it in your body.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: So, whatever those emotions are, you want to get your body safe.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: You want to teach your body again that you are safe.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, I may be feeling angry, but you are safe, right.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: So sometimes I even teach my body again to feel that anger, but with safety, instead of having to, like you know, tense and be anxious and cause health issues.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: So can also be aware of how your body is feeling with emotions, how your body feeling with triggers.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: These are all of your simple signs.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Right, when we are changing our health habits, we say listen to your body.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Same thing Listen to your body, listen to those thoughts and guide them differently Because, remember, at the end of the day, you are in control.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah Well, and I think there's a distinction too of you're in control to an extent, but I think you have to remind yourself too that you're also an observer.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Right, I'm not going to force this thought to change if it keeps coming back in my mind.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: So I'm observing it.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: It's okay, I'm going to make peace with a thought, but then I'm going to start to shift into other thoughts and again, this is where it becomes a practice, and I love what Denise said getting into your body, doing hand on your heart, doing some tapping, put your feet in the earth, like, go out there and ground, do some breath work, go for a walk, like things like that.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: If you continue to notice we're not talking about one time.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Today I had a thought that I was ugly.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Like the one time, okay, not a big deal, but the thought that goes through every day.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Like you start to notice a pattern of thoughts.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Or, like my client said, I noticed throughout the day.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: When I get a symptom, I immediately go into I'm broken, I'm never going to get better and you can spiral.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: That's what we're talking about.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Then you start to change, you observe, you start to change, you do something moving to start to.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: You know, get yourself out of that state.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but we can't stress enough to establish that practice, because once you're in that spiraling mode, it's hard, right Hard to get you back.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: You're going to, you know, lose it.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: So it's really important to have that practice, because once you have that practice, I don't want to say it's easier, but it's simpler to use your tools.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it's going to take time because again it goes back to coaching yourself.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: You've got to start to have that internal conversation of is this thought serving me right now?
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Is this thought true?
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Is this thought even mine?
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Or is it coming from things I was told in childhood by a spouse, by a friend?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: Whatever you have to learn to coach yourself, you are going to be your own best coach.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Yep, Do we have any?
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: She's like yep, I love it.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: We're keeping it, you know, sweet and short.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I know we may not, but everything that we said can be tools for you to utilize the questions that we're asking can be, you know, digging deeper, but this is on the daily, right, like it is on the daily, where you practice.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You got to just, you know, have the intention to do something on the daily.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I know I'm like I just lost my thought that I'm trying to think what the takeaways are.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: It's just journal the questions, practice daily, like you know, even coach yourself on the daily.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: Talk to yourself in the car.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I talk to myself in the car all the time because you know no one thinks you're crazy because now people talk on the Bluetooth, right, you know, coach yourself in the car when you're by yourself, like if you don't want to do it.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: You know if you're busy at the house or at work or something, but it's really important to really get into that practice and, you know, be your own best friend and do it right now.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: If you're like, oh, I'm not going to do that when I'm spiraling, we're not expecting that Right now, pause this episode and think what are the thoughts running through your mind in this moment?
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: And then have that conversation with yourself out loud or in your head, of what am I thinking right now?
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Are these serving me, are they mine?
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: And allow yourself to see where it goes.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: This is the practice right now is pausing and doing it in this moment.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: The thoughts might be serving you and that is totally okay, but this is creating the awareness.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And when you create the awareness, you increase the awareness, and this is when the change starts happening.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Change is not going to happen magically.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Change is going to happen little by little, with practice, with commitment and with intention.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Right, so it's something continuous.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: It's not going to, oh, I'm going to do it for a few months and stop.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: No, it's the same thing like healthy eating, right, you don't just eat healthy for two months, other two, right?
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: So it's really important just to kind of I don't want to control, but take over thoughts type of thing, right, so, like sure, you know, observe them and let them go.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: It kind of.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Maybe think about them as waves, right, like they go, their waves.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: They come and they go, and the ones that you like, you can keep, the ones that sometimes probably like I don't mean I don't want to say a percentage, but a lot of the ones that you don't like they may not be yours, they may be things that are hard when you are five years old and you just adopted it as a freaking value and it's like what?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: No, that's not, or it could be part of your culture, right?
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: so, like you know, yeah, I think this is it.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, share this episode.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, share the episode, guys.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: We're growing and we appreciate it so much.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Like denise and I are always looking, we're like we're over here, like we want to continue to grow.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: So please share the podcast with a friend posted on social media.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: Tag us, reach out if you have questions or episodes you want to hear about.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: But we really want to grow this.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: We want to serve more people, so help us get it out there.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: We'll see you on the next episode, guys.