Latest / To All the Men I've Tolerated Before / Patreon Teaser Feb 2024 Romance, Candles, Bachelor Nation, and Creative Burnout

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Patreon Teaser Feb 2024 Romance, Candles, Bachelor Nation, and Creative Burnout · To All the Men I've Tolerated Before

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Hello, wonderful Team Tolerator. I hope you had a fabulous March. Welcome
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to the end of the month, where you know it, we put a
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teaser for some of our bonus content. This month's teaser is all of our
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bonus content from February, which means it contains clips from our Misogyny Meltdown,
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which was all about love, Valentine's Day, Julia's candle demonstration, and Chris
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de Rosa and I getting real about Bachelor Nation. Then you'll hear a little
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clip of our intro music and that will signal you that the next preview you
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will hear is our Tolerator check in with JD, where we discuss creative burnout,
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some personal stuff about my past relationships, and some more stuff related to
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the in Cell episode that JD and I put out. All of the Patreon
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information and where to find Julia, Chris and JD are all in the show
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notes. I cannot wait for you to join us on Patreon, the only
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place where you can find our Team Tolerator check ins and our latest production on
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Team Tolerator, the Misogyny Meltdown. Have a great week and we'll see you
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next time. Hey, Team tolerator and welcome to the misogyny Meltdown, where
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we unhinge our jaws and stream absurdities into the void. About this world of
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man we're dying in this month, we're focusing on the concept of love and
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most importantly, how self love is part of your personal resistance. If you've
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taken a bubble bath, treated yourself to a warm beverage, watched the favorite
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comfort movie, or kicked out the mediocre man in your life, congrats,
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you are officially an activist and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. February three
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balls around the holiday Valentine's Day, because nothing says passion like being so exhausted
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from the other holidays. You get your loved one a dollar store card and
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gas station flowers to really reignite that spark. One study on Valentine's Day surveyed
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that on average, men will spend around two hundred and forty nine dollars on
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a gift, while women only spend around fifty seven dollars. That math doesn't
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sit right with me now, with the Valentine's Day I have, doesn't I
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wonder if these results take into account the amount men paid these people to make
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us believe that that's how much they're spending on the gifts they panic by on
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the way home. Huh. Maybe they did us ladies a solid and took
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into account the wage gap, or better yet, allowed them to include their
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mistresses and secret families on one survey question. We have some great guests here
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for you, including Julia Washington from Pop Culture Makes Me Jealous and Chris de
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Rosa of Fixing Famous People. Julia is here to tell us about her candle
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line and how she used a romantic comedy book to create a new scent.
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Now, while we all know, I've been on a dating hiatus ever since
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I started focusing on how you know, men have ruined everything for me.
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Let's not forget I have taken part in these tropes. Ah, yes,
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enemies to lovers? Why, oh yes, you can hate a man for
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two whole years and still fall for him. Yeah. So what happened was
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to get past my defenses, he just started repeating everything he heard me say.
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You know about my beliefs, feminism, how to treat me, and
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he just repeat them back to me at a later time. Yeah, real
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great. Con He changed a couple of adjectives and most importantly told me how
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much he admired that I upheld these important attributes. You know, we can
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debate later if this makes him a bad guy or if loving everything I say
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repeated back to me is my own vanity problem. When he dumped me,
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he said it was because my abundant personality and conviction to my beliefs were just
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too intimidating. Here's Julia now to introduce us all to the art of rom
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com candle making. Julia, thank you for being here. I am so
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excited to be here. I am so excited for this new segment of your
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show, this new thing that you're doing. I'm just I'm so proud of
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your friend. Oh my gosh, thank you. Yeah. So, I'm
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really excited to learn more about your candles and how you make candles, and
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how I can use candles in my love life or my breakups. Honestly,
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my love lives or my breakups or my vengeance or oh my gosh. Yeah,
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I'm happy to share everything with you. Tell me all the things you
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want to know, because I feel like candles are good for every occasion,
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any time of the year. It's always a lovely thing in any plot,
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in any plot, yes and plot. Okay, So the theme of the
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Misogyny Meltdown this month is, you know, this idea of love and self
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love and Valentine's Day because it is, unfortunately February. So I know that
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I make you very sad when I talk about how much I don't like Christmas.
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What's your relationship with Valentine's Day? Well, I love Valentine's Day.
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February is my third favorite month, behind birthday month in December. We always
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did like a family film night and then would watch a movie and exchange presence.
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So it's like a secondary Christmas almost in her family, with like themed
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like heart shaped food and like you know, bubbly drinks for the adults and
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I guess soda is a bubbly drink for children, and you know, snacks,
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and it was just always a thing that we did. And now my
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child has grown and I don't want to do that. That's fair, no,
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Because when I was a teenager, when I was a kid, my
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dad was in charge of our Valentine's state. Oh girls, I feel like
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that was a choice, right or my mother was secretly in charge and just
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having your dad give them to you. But when we were teenagers, and
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it hurtless coming from mom. Instead of Dad being the only person in all
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my life, it fell to mom, and I would always make fun of
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her because she would get us a bag, like a big giant bag of
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our favorite Eminem's and pajamas, and I'd go, this is a spinster Valentine's
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Day gift, Like you're preparing me for spinsterhood. Oh, that's so funny.
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See, and ours were never like themed for Valentine's Day like gifts were
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like. It truly was like Christmas in the sense of like, oh,
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I found this book that you would love. Oh, I found you know,
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a piece of art to give you that kind of stuff. And I
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think establishing Valentine's Day as a day to just exchange appreciation of love in that
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way did not set me up for the failure of the rest of my friends
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who are always disappointed in their husbands when they don't do something wonderful for Valentine's
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Day. So, like I learned early on, Valentine's Day is for you
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to show your love to everybody. But marketing will tell us Valentine's Day is
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to highlight when husband's fail yes, as they so often do. Yeah,
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now then I'm thirty five and have to rely on men for Valentine's Day.
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I'm like, I do anything for my mom to give me spinster pajamas again.
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Okay, so you have this new candle line. Yes, oh I
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have. I have examples. Yes, I have these two little cuties.
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One is in and they're called them fairly cute, which is appropriate to call
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them quties. One's a ten ounce and one's a five ounce. What book
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are they based off of, because that's the whole deal with your candles.
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They're based off of the book. Yes, yes, So there's an author
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by the name of Talia Hibbert. She is a black British author. She
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wrote the Brown Sister series. Okay, so wrote a book called Highly Suspicious
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and un Really Cute. And I read it last year and it was so
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stupid and adorable that I could not I could not not. It's friends to
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enemies to friends again, but really they make out. So it's like,
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I, but you don't want to say friends to enemies to lovers when they're
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in high school because that feels weird. Yeah, that feels weird. Yeah,
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but it's so adorable. It's a quick and easy read and and what's
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great about Talia Hipbert is that she doesn't just like give us fluff. She
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also like layers and other things too, So like one of the characters deals
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with severe anxiety, and you know, there's like this, so there's a
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mental health element to it, which is great. But you get your h
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e A at the end, and it's pink, Natalie. You know,
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pink is my favorite color, and you love pink. I'm wearing lavender.
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I meant to wear pink. The lavender still work, still works, there's
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pink in it. The Bachelor it first aired in March two thousand and two.
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That makes me fourteen years old when I became obsessed with the weekly fairy
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tale ABC was churning out. In the past twenty years, we've seen spinoffs
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including The Bachelorette, Bachelor, Pad Bachelor, and Paradise Golden Bachelor. And
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there was this one weird playing along show. Fuck what was it called?
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I don't even know how to google it, Like, how do you google
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Bachelor karaoke whatever. It wasn't until the pandemic seasons that I found the show
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absolutely unwatchable and I had to grasp at what my TV schedule would look like.
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Without Bachelor Nation as a comfort set of shows. Christa Rosa joined me
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to break down why Bachelor Nation just isn't it anymore when it comes to reality
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dating shows. So, Chris, you have an extensive career in reality TV
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and loads of opinions about it. Correct, correct, very a lot of
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opinions too many, as someone say, who I will know, there's never
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too many opinions about the trash that is the television that we consume. What
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is your background with The Bachelor? I was never a huge Bachelor fan.
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I'm like when it first started, I remember watching it and I remember,
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but like when I tell you, I couldn't name one person on it for
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like the first probably ten years, like all these ones that like you keep
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you guys keep saying like remember this person, and I'm like no, like
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there isn't there, Like Ryan and someone, like the first couple ever is
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still together. Ryan and Trista are the first bachelorette couple and they are still
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together. That that remind Like I hear that and I know that that's who
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they are. But like if you showed me five pictures of couples and one
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of them was them, I would not be able to pick who was who.
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So I kind of came to it later in life and a bunch of
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friends at work were watching it and they wanted us to do a like a
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bracket where we would pick who we think is going to go through every week,
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and we did that and it was really fun, and that was kind
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of where I like really really was like watching it every week like appointment television.
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Yeah, I don't know, I it's hard to It's hard coming from
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Bravo, where you watch people truly go through every single good, bad,
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ugly, amazing, sad, upsetting, triumphant, et cetera, like add
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any adjective or any kind of like descriptor here of every moment of their lives,
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and then pop on over to The Bachelor, where it's like a new
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crop of people every year. You immediately need to do so much backstory and
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learning who they are that it takes up more to the show. And also
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also nothing happens, so it's like hard. I find the divide large in
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the sense of people that love The Bachelor, Like like, if someone loves
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The Bachelor, they usually don't love housewives. And if they don't, and
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if they love housewives, they usually don't like The Bachelor. Well, I'm
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an anomaly because I found that No, but I am also the only really
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yes, And I will say that I am the only person in my family
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who is a real like reality TV stan And I think it's because when I
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was in college and you just had to rely on college cable, we only
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had like MTV and Bravo that we're worth watching. So yeah, So I've
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watched like every episode of The Girl's Next Store because it was literally the only
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because I had E and that was all I had that day. Yeah,
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Like, and they would just run it on loop every day. So I'm
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the only person in my family who I guess reality TV and untamed hearts with
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Christian Slater and Marissa Tome because when I bring up these very big pop culture
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like pivot points in my life, people are like, who were you watching
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that with? And I was like just me alone in my bedroom with my
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tiny TV unsupervised. So I love and you know this, I love the
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Real Housewives of New York City and always like literally they were like that in
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my head, I'm like, this is how you become a boss, bitch.
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You become a real housewife of New York City. And let me just
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take notes on how to be successful. Yeah, so I am the what
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were those notes? By the way, what were those notes? But we're
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here to talk about creative burnout because it's winter. It is, honestly just
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it's the wind. It's the winteryest winter because it's being a little bitch and
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being like in the upper fifties early sixties during the day but still getting dark
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at four thirty, and I'm like, uh uh, I should be in
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full on sweater mode, but I have not been able to commit to sweaters
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like fully because of that. Yes, and the heat has to stay on
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because it gets so cold at night. But if I'm still awake at eleven
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thirty at night, my entire body is enraged that the heat is on and
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I'm hot. Yeah. Well that's the thing is I've noticed, like we
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have the heat off in the bedroom, and we had like the air the
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window unit, and like I've noticed it. Actually it's been weirdly hot at
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night sometimes lately, and I don't care for because I I don't do well
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sleeping in the heat me either. Another government conspiracy. They don't want me
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to have my hot cocoa because they know, I know it's robot milk.
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That milk did not come from a cow, straight up AI skynet a I
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milk. Stephanie and I we always talk about, like, hey, do
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you remember when bread used to go bad? Yeah, because it doesn't anymore.
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It doesn't, and I do. I've got a weird thing about that
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too, because like one time I opened up bread I was a kid.
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I remember this so specifically, and like I took like a bite and it
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was like this, just like like it was. It was moldy, it
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wasn't hadn't molded over, but it had gone bad. And then like I
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smelled it, I was like, oh oh, but like that doesn't anymore
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because it's all a I. I truly, you have to write down that
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we have to do a weird you have to do all you and Bethany have
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to do all of the research for the weird foods, and I just get
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to feel justified in my knowledge. I know it. You got to come
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on that episode, yes, just to be your hyperson and be like I
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knew that the knew it. I knew that it was a red dye number
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nine that was giving us all the jitters. It's the fucking AI food,
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right, fucking nanobots and shit fucking fake as genetically induced food. Why don't
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the carrots taste like carrots anymore? They don't, They don't, And I
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think that's also I can't. I am putting in a lot of effort towards
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a lot of creative things all at once, because part of the misogyny meltdown
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is I want to be practicing more comedy or when Sam Reich from Dropout calls
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me, yeah, yeah, well, and it's like the whole preparing and
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like being ready when the moment comes. Yes, but it's also really disheartening
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to be living during the AI apocalypse. Yeah, and also being like,
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let's prepare for my comedic improv future. Well, and like I don't know,
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just to a certain extent though, I mean, like the apocalypse is
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going to need people to like lift spirits. Yeah, that's going to be
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our job. I have to be the Steve bushe Me on Armageddon, just
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seing that robot gun on the asteroid get off the thermonuclear weapon. I want
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to feel the power to my legs. Brother. We watched it for still
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Comfy, and it's like an acid trip. Also, I didn't talk about
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this on the episode. But I recently had to watch The Hating Game,
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and I think it's a made for Hulu Christmas movie starring Lucy Hale and some
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guy who I'm not convinced read his own script. Lucy Hale from Hailstorm,
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Lucy Hale from Pretty Little Liars. Oh, I never got into that.
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I'm okay, that's so. Anyways, I'm convinced that that guy's an insult
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because everything about him made my body go into panic mode. He this was
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one of the ways to prove that he was in love with her. She
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was like, Hey, I looked at your day book and I saw like
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little x's and like d and then like circles. What was that about.
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He's like, I used to track what you were wearing, and I'd write
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es for skirts and pee for pants, and I'd make a mark every time
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I wanted to kiss you. And I'm like, run away. He's the
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Zodiac Killer.