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256. Don't Miss What's Meaningful · Your Enriched Self

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Speaker 1: Hello, my friends from all across the globe, and welcome
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Speaker 1: to your Enriched Self Podcast. I am your host, Mileine Noir.
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Speaker 1: I am an emotional wellness an empowerment coach, and what
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Speaker 1: that means is I am looking out for you. Each
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Speaker 1: and every week, I curate this space to explore mindset
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Speaker 1: fusion topics, self care, soul care. Really, I want you
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Speaker 1: to spend time doing the thing that culture minimizes, which
0:51
Speaker 1: is spending time with your thoughts. And that's what we
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Speaker 1: do each and every week. We talk through the things
0:58
Speaker 1: that matter to you because guess, everything you do in
1:02
Speaker 1: this life starts with a thought, and I want you
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Speaker 1: to nourish those thoughts so that you can become more
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Speaker 1: of your enriched self. And so that's what we do
1:12
Speaker 1: here on the podcast. If you are new here, if
1:15
Speaker 1: this is your first time, if you stumbled in, I
1:17
Speaker 1: want to welcome you. I want to thank you for
1:19
Speaker 1: being here because I know that you were brought here
1:22
Speaker 1: on purpose for a purpose. And if you are a
1:25
Speaker 1: repeat listener, listen, we are at our five year anniversary
1:31
Speaker 1: of podcasting and it is all because of you. We
1:36
Speaker 1: are now celebrating episode two hundred and fifty six two
1:41
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty six episodes, all because of you tuning in,
1:45
Speaker 1: tapping in, turning on the Urine retail podcasts. And I
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Speaker 1: could not be any more grateful for having you participate
1:58
Speaker 1: and doing everything that you can and to be more enriched,
2:02
Speaker 1: enriching your life, enriching your community, enriching your self. So
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Speaker 1: if you know, you know, before we get started into
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Speaker 1: any episode, I like to make a deposit into the
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Speaker 1: bank of you, and I do that by way of affirmations.
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Speaker 1: Affirmations are a great way to start your day and
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Speaker 1: to command your morning. And this week's affirmation is I
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Speaker 1: choose to see the blessings already surrounding me. I choose
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Speaker 1: to see the blessings already surrounding me. I choose to
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Speaker 1: see the blessings already surrounding me. Now, let's get ready
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Speaker 1: for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self pot
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Speaker 1: Past human behavior is quite interesting. There was a statistic
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Speaker 1: that I heard a long time ago about job applicants,
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Speaker 1: and typically what was happening is that men would apply
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Speaker 1: for jobs even when they met just about sixty percent
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Speaker 1: of the qualifications for that job. In the same light,
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Speaker 1: women would only only apply when they met one hundred
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Speaker 1: percent of those job qualifications, and I find that to
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Speaker 1: be absolutely fascinating. I found it to be fascinating. Then.
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Speaker 1: It may not be the case today because so much
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Speaker 1: has changed with where we stand as people in culture.
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Speaker 1: But I do want to point back to culture because
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Speaker 1: I really do believe that culture, for a long time,
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Speaker 1: reminds us of what we don't have, what's missing, and
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Speaker 1: I think for women at the time, that was a gap, right.
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Speaker 1: We were so fixated on the things that were missing,
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Speaker 1: and that alone would deter us from moving forward. And again,
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Speaker 1: when you flip the table, you see that men, even
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Speaker 1: with you know, just sixty percent of those qualifications, were
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Speaker 1: willing to put themselves out there. And that's what I
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Speaker 1: want to talk about today. I really want to talk
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Speaker 1: about how oftentimes culture and your environment may be reminding
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Speaker 1: you about what's missing in your story, and if you
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Speaker 1: allow yourself to get fixated and what's missing and what
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Speaker 1: you still need, you could potentially be blocking your blessings.
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Speaker 1: And this one, this conversation today, is absolutely a biblical one.
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Speaker 1: There are so many points in scripture where God has
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Speaker 1: already placed the blessing in our hands, but we don't
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Speaker 1: see it. It's almost like we are visually blind or
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Speaker 1: we have blind vision, like the vision was already made
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Speaker 1: plain for us, but we're allowing these cultural influences to
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Speaker 1: shift how we show up in the case of women
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Speaker 1: with resumes right. But I want to give you an
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Speaker 1: actual biblical story at the Genesis that will help you
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Speaker 1: understand exactly what I'm saying. And I'm going to read
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Speaker 1: it to you because I think it's going to be
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Speaker 1: important for you to understand where I'm coming from and why.
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Speaker 1: I think this is a very fascinating perspective for us
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Speaker 1: to think about and reshift our paradigm around this. So
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Speaker 1: in Genesis chapter two, verse sixteen, it says it reads,
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Speaker 1: and the Lord God commanded the man, saying, of every
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Speaker 1: tree of the garden, you may freely eat. I'm going
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Speaker 1: to repeat that, of every tree of the garden you
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Speaker 1: may freely eat. Now this is the garden of Eden.
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Speaker 1: I'm sure you have heard of the Garden of Eden,
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Speaker 1: the story the Genesis of Man. And yes, they were
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Speaker 1: advised or he meaning Adam, was advised that he may
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Speaker 1: freely eat. Verse seventeen reads, but of the tree of
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Speaker 1: the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat
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Speaker 1: nor four in the day that you eat of it,
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Speaker 1: you shall surely die. So that was the message. But
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Speaker 1: I think what I want you to fixate on is
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Speaker 1: the fact that man was given freedom all throughout the garden,
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Speaker 1: and instead something else happened. And that's what I want
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Speaker 1: to bring our attention to as we look into how
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Speaker 1: we get here? How did we get here? Okay, so
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Speaker 1: let's talk about it. And the woman said, okay, so
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Speaker 1: let's go back a second. So this is Genesis chapter three,
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Speaker 1: just a short few verses away. In chapter three, it reads,
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Speaker 1: this is chapter three, verse one. Now the serpent was
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Speaker 1: more cunning than any of the beast of the field
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Speaker 1: which the Lord God had made. And he said to
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Speaker 1: the woman, this being the serpent has God indeed said
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Speaker 1: you shall not eat of every tree in the garden.
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Speaker 1: And the woman said to the serpent, we may eat
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Speaker 1: the fruit of the trees of the garden, but of
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Speaker 1: the fruit of the tree which is in the midst
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Speaker 1: of the garden. God said, you shall not eat, nor
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Speaker 1: shall you touch it lest you die. So I want
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Speaker 1: you to go back, or I will go back with
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Speaker 1: you to when the serpent said to the woman, you
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Speaker 1: did God actually say to you. Here comes the plugging
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Speaker 1: in of doubt. You shall not eat of every tree
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Speaker 1: in the garden. So this now focuses Eve's attention away
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Speaker 1: from the freedom to eat everything to now focus on
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Speaker 1: are you sure he said that you can't eat of
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Speaker 1: every tree in the garden, So now she's thinking, you
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Speaker 1: know what, You're right. He did talk about a tree
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Speaker 1: we could not eat from. So instead of looking at
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Speaker 1: freely eating, which means free, there's no cost for it,
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Speaker 1: there's no limit to it. He didn't tell them they
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Speaker 1: could only have so many a day and so many
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Speaker 1: hours in the day. It was a free, dumb grab right,
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Speaker 1: free ninety nine was happening in the garden. But now
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Speaker 1: here comes the doubt. Here comes the insertion of doubt,
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Speaker 1: where it's like, are you sure you couldn't eat everything?
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Speaker 1: And it's like, wait a minute, you're you know what?
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Speaker 1: Not that I think about it, there is one, one, one, one,
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Speaker 1: one tree that we cannot eat from. And I know
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Speaker 1: that I took you all the way back to Genesis,
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Speaker 1: but I'm pulling you back into today. But I wanted
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Speaker 1: you to get the context of how many times in
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Speaker 1: life we miss what is meaningful. Imagine someone granting you,
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Speaker 1: in your current state, in your current situation, that you
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Speaker 1: can have all of these things, but stay away from
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Speaker 1: that one thing. And instead of focusing on all the
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Speaker 1: things you have access to, no limits to where you
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Speaker 1: can go and what you can do, you hyper fixate,
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Speaker 1: You focus in on, You create thesis and thoughts and
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Speaker 1: ideas around the one thing that you cannot do. And
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Speaker 1: I think that's where we miss the mark. That's where
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Speaker 1: you've missed your mark, and you miss the opportunity because
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Speaker 1: now you're overlooking what was there for you. In the
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Speaker 1: story of Adam and Eve in the Garden, they overlook
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Speaker 1: the blessing that was literally right in front of them,
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Speaker 1: and I think that happens to a lot of us.
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Speaker 1: Right for one, let's take it into today's context. Many
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Speaker 1: times you miss what's in front of you because you
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Speaker 1: are in comparison zone, and comparison creates the blindness. So
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Speaker 1: to take it back to the story, Adam and Eve
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Speaker 1: had a blindness even this skitch situation, had a blindness
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Speaker 1: about what was abundant. She was blind to what was
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Speaker 1: abundant because now she's comparing what I can't have, which
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Speaker 1: is the one thing, to the things that are free
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Speaker 1: for me to go after. I want to caution you
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Speaker 1: to not look around to see what others have, because
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Speaker 1: that's the trap. I want to get you out of
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Speaker 1: these traps that you find yourself in, because when you
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Speaker 1: find yourself in this comparison trap, what's going to happen
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Speaker 1: is you're going to always be overlooking your blessing. The
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Speaker 1: thing about your blessing, think about it like this, Your
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Speaker 1: blessing is unique to you, because oftentimes I want you
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Speaker 1: to think about this, Your blessing is tied to your gift,
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Speaker 1: your gifting, right, your purpose. So if you compare your
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Speaker 1: blessing to someone else's, which is tied to their gift,
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Speaker 1: the gifting, their purpose, you cannot compare it because it's
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Speaker 1: not of equal value. Not that one is better than
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Speaker 1: the other, one has more value than the other, but
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Speaker 1: they're not the same. They're not equivalent. So now you're
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Speaker 1: missing out on what you are gonna be blessed with
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Speaker 1: what is front of, what is in front of you.
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Speaker 1: As the freely right, you can freely go into these
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Speaker 1: places and occupy these spaces, and you'll do great there
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Speaker 1: because you're gifted there and as a result of you
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Speaker 1: being where you need to be because now you're doing
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Speaker 1: it on purpose, for a purpose, you're gonna receive your
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Speaker 1: unique blessing, and likewise for the other person, and so
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Speaker 1: on and so forth. But what we do is we
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Speaker 1: fall into the trap of comparison, and that creates blindness
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Speaker 1: for your blessing. Second thing, I want you to think
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Speaker 1: about what do you already possess? Again, let's think about
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Speaker 1: your unique gift. Think about the thing that comes to
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Speaker 1: you naturally, the thing that people have said, you know
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Speaker 1: what you would be great at. That. That is where
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Speaker 1: God often works. He works through the things we already possess.
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Speaker 1: So what we tend to do is we go ask
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Speaker 1: for more, and we ask more frequently, and we ask
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Speaker 1: for more, and we ask frequently and we ask for more.
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Speaker 1: And what we're doing is we're missing what we already
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Speaker 1: have in our hands, what we already possess. Right, think
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Speaker 1: about it like this. Someone may be looking for getting
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Speaker 1: a new car. Let's just use that as an example.
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Speaker 1: The good news is you probably or let's paint the scenario.
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Speaker 1: Someone who has a car is looking for a brand
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Speaker 1: new car, right, nothing wrong with that. However, they're missing
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Speaker 1: out on the fact that you know what. I have
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Speaker 1: a vehicle, It runs, it runs well, and currently I
15:24
Speaker 1: don't have a payment on it, so I now can
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Speaker 1: focus on the blessing that I have a vehicle. I'm
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Speaker 1: not hyper fixated on getting a brand new vehicle because
15:35
Speaker 1: if we talk about finances and financials, buying a brand
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Speaker 1: new car off the lot is like financial suicide. All
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Speaker 1: the financial experts will tell you you're losing a significant value
15:47
Speaker 1: driving nothing off the lot. But we're not gonna go
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Speaker 1: there right now. I'm saying this to say, oftentimes we
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Speaker 1: don't realize that we are in a blessed situation because
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Speaker 1: we're overlooking where we are now to go look into
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Speaker 1: other places, not realizing that before you ask for more,
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Speaker 1: that you already have something in your hands that is
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Speaker 1: a value. Not to say you don't want to aspire
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Speaker 1: for more, not to say you should go get a
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Speaker 1: newer car, new to you car, but just saying be aware.
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Speaker 1: And many times we're not aware. Trust me, there were
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Speaker 1: when I you know, it's so funny. I was thinking
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Speaker 1: about this the other day. I was thinking about my
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Speaker 1: very first car, and there are circumstances around that very
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Speaker 1: first car. But when I think about that car, I
16:36
Speaker 1: could have ridden, knowing now what I did not know then. Right,
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Speaker 1: Wishing I knew then what I know now, I would
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Speaker 1: have kept that car, and even a car I had
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Speaker 1: after that, a lot longer than I did, because I
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Speaker 1: wanted to get the bigger car, and I wanted to
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Speaker 1: get this and I wanted to upgrade, and I wanted
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Speaker 1: to do all these different things, not realizing that I
17:05
Speaker 1: was almost through with paying this car off. In another case,
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Speaker 1: I had already paid X car off. In another case,
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Speaker 1: I really didn't need an upgrade. I wanted an upgrade,
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Speaker 1: but I was so fixated on not realizing how blessed
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Speaker 1: I was to be in a situation to have a
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Speaker 1: very reliable vehicle that did not need any work, that
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Speaker 1: was practically paid off. But I wanted more, And again,
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Speaker 1: nothing wrong with aspiring for more. But this is where
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Speaker 1: we fall into the trap. And these are cultural traps.
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Speaker 1: Trust me. I'll be the first to say the reason
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Speaker 1: why I wanted that car is because I wanted to
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Speaker 1: start to fit into the American dream. Right of having
17:48
Speaker 1: the new car, I had moved into a home, we
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Speaker 1: had our first baby. That was the thing to do, right.
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Speaker 1: Keep in mind my previous car was a two door car.
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Speaker 1: But by gones again, I wanted the dream. I wanted
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Speaker 1: to do the things I wanted to culturally live through
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Speaker 1: the eyes of culture instead of realizing I was blessed
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Speaker 1: with what I have. Again, nothing wrong with what I did.
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Speaker 1: But if I know now new then what I know now,
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Speaker 1: it would be a different I would apply things differently.
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Speaker 1: And that's what I want you to do, is to
18:23
Speaker 1: apply things differently. The last thing I want you to
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Speaker 1: think about is just being present. And I talk about
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Speaker 1: being present often and you probably are wondering, how does
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Speaker 1: this fit into this whole conversation about missing out on
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Speaker 1: your blessings. Here's what I mean by that. Many times
18:50
Speaker 1: people postpone joy. I know that sounds absolutely insane. I
18:56
Speaker 1: did it myself. Don't do it right. And the reason
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Speaker 1: why people often postpone joy is because they're waiting for
19:06
Speaker 1: everything to be pleasantly perfect before they move on to
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Speaker 1: the next thing. They don't want to take on this
19:17
Speaker 1: thing because they can't just yet right. I think about
19:22
Speaker 1: so many people that want to, for example, commit to
19:26
Speaker 1: doing a five k, but because they haven't gotten there,
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Speaker 1: they haven't achieved a certain number of miles, or they
19:33
Speaker 1: haven't done certain things. They feel like they can't get
19:38
Speaker 1: to that goal, and that's not necessarily true. Now that
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Speaker 1: may not be joy for somebody, So let me let
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Speaker 1: me take let me take the running example off the table.
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Speaker 1: But it could be somebody wants to take a dream vacation,
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Speaker 1: because who doesn't want to take a vacation? Hello, And
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Speaker 1: they're not taking that dream vacation or they're not taking
20:06
Speaker 1: any vacation because it's not the dream vacation. It doesn't
20:11
Speaker 1: have the amenities, and it doesn't have the hotel package,
20:14
Speaker 1: and it doesn't have the all inclusive and it doesn't
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Speaker 1: have whatever it is their dream vacation. Your dream vacation
20:20
Speaker 1: may be your requirement. Because you're not getting all of
20:25
Speaker 1: what you want, you decide you'll never take a vacation
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Speaker 1: until you get to the perfect scenario that you have
20:35
Speaker 1: painted of your dream vacation. So now you're postponing joy.
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Speaker 1: I say take the weekend vacation. I say take a staycation.
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Speaker 1: I say take time away to do things right here,
20:53
Speaker 1: rite where you are, and stop postponing joy until you
20:59
Speaker 1: have a perfect, perfectly set situation. You can be present
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Speaker 1: now and find that peace, find that joy, find that
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Speaker 1: opportunity right right where you are. But oftentimes we don't
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Speaker 1: do that, and so those are the things I want
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Speaker 1: you to pause through looking around your life. Even now.
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Speaker 1: I don't know what you're going through. I don't know
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Speaker 1: what you've been through, and I don't know what you're
21:38
Speaker 1: getting ready to go through. But I want you, right now,
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Speaker 1: in this moment, to take a moment to look around
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Speaker 1: your life. I mean, you can look around physically, but
21:49
Speaker 1: I'm thinking look around in the inventory of your life.
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Speaker 1: The things you have in front of you, right life, mobility,
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Speaker 1: Maybe you have a vehicle, maybe you've learned how to
22:02
Speaker 1: get around using the bus system. Maybe you have been
22:06
Speaker 1: able to save some money, Like you are blessed, you
22:10
Speaker 1: have blessings all around you. Listen. I want you to
22:13
Speaker 1: tally those things up, because oftentimes we look around and
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Speaker 1: we're like, well I don't have a new car, but
22:17
Speaker 1: you have a car. Well I don't have a car.
22:20
Speaker 1: Well you know how to use the bus system. Listen.
22:23
Speaker 1: I've tried using the bus system a time or two.
22:25
Speaker 1: It's not so easy. I think people that do that
22:28
Speaker 1: are so fascinating to me, because for me, some of
22:30
Speaker 1: that stuff can be very complicated. But people have learned
22:34
Speaker 1: to adjust, They've learned to find ways to be mobile,
22:38
Speaker 1: to get around, to move through their life without excuses. Fascinating. Right.
22:47
Speaker 1: And when you look around your life, like I said,
22:48
Speaker 1: the inventory of your life, just close your eyes for
22:51
Speaker 1: a minute and think about where you are now, think
22:55
Speaker 1: about what you've accomplished. I promise you you are living
23:02
Speaker 1: somebody's dream. I know it sounds absolutely crazy because you're thinking,
23:06
Speaker 1: somebody want to live this kind of life. Yeah, there's
23:09
Speaker 1: somebody right now that's somewhere thinking, gosh. I wish I
23:14
Speaker 1: could fill in the blank about something you did this year.
23:17
Speaker 1: A trip you took, a relationship, you're in a job,
23:21
Speaker 1: you landed, an opportunity that you're working towards, a health
23:27
Speaker 1: opportunity or a health growth space for you. There's so
23:33
Speaker 1: many things you have done, so many things you are
23:35
Speaker 1: doing and are to come in your life that somebody
23:39
Speaker 1: is dreaming for, praying for, But yet you don't see it.
23:46
Speaker 1: It's that blindness that I keep talking about. It's you
23:51
Speaker 1: missing out on the meaningful things in life because you're
23:53
Speaker 1: so fixating, fixated on when the perfect day and all
23:58
Speaker 1: the things will align. I say, sell right now, I
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Speaker 1: say be in the moment now, I say stop postponing joy.
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Speaker 1: What I don't want you to do is to be
24:15
Speaker 1: so consumed with's what's missing in your life that you
24:23
Speaker 1: overlook what's meaningful, what's here in the now, because sometimes
24:33
Speaker 1: the very thing that you've been praying for begins with
24:41
Speaker 1: that gratitude. I always talk about appreciating what God has
24:47
Speaker 1: already provided. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of
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Speaker 1: the Urine Ritsa podcast. And the only way I'm going
25:01
Speaker 1: to know this is if you leave me some feedback.
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Speaker 1: to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
26:24
Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the week, the quote of
26:26
Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon shop.
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Speaker 1: The Your Rich Self shop has two items right now,
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Speaker 1: a journal which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as
26:39
Speaker 1: well as the Show Up Everyday notebook. So check those
26:43
Speaker 1: out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take what you
26:47
Speaker 1: can from this episode and do what you must in
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Speaker 1: the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that
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Speaker 1: you can become more of your enriched self. Until we
26:59
Speaker 1: meet again ba