Latest / The b.reathe Blueprint Podcast / I Just Couldn't Function
Transcript
- Katie Harvey: Hello and welcome to the b.reathe Conversations. This series explores how people operate as responsibility, ambition and pressure grow over time. These are not burnout stories and they're not about fixing anything. They're calm, honest conversations about awareness, capacity and what helps performance last. Today I'm joined by Rob. Thanks so much for being here. How are you? rob edmonds: Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Katie Harvey: Good, why don't we start with telling us a little bit about who you are and what you do. rob edmonds: Right, I'm Rob Edmonds. I live in Kent in South East of England. I'm electrician by trade, have been for 36 years. I'm also a property investor. So I'm starting to get into rent to rent HMOs and try to build a portfolio along property investing. I've always been interested in property investing. So, yeah, I thought I'd give it a go and see what comes of it. Katie Harvey: Amazing. And obviously as an electrician myself, I know the kind of background of that and the constant changes. How do you cope with your day-to-day life and trying to balance that with building your property business at the same time? rob edmonds: A lot of time I do struggle. We've been electrician, it's not as straightforward as people think. You go out, go to work and that's it. I'm a sole trader, self-employed. So trying to run that business and you get call-outs, emergency call-outs, sitting there doing paperwork, struggling to get money coming in, struggling to get... work coming in at times, it does go quiet. Sometimes you're flat out and you can't cope with it all and other times it's you're sitting there waiting for the next job to come in and you're chasing work and stuff and chasing customers up. So yeah it is, it can be stressful. It can be really stressful as I say, especially being self-employed. It's not like going into an office or going to a site where you're guaranteed the work and someone else is paying your wages no matter what. Being self-employed is, yeah it's ⁓ it can be quite stressful and then obviously then finding the time to try and do your property business, trying to get your property business off the ground so yeah it can be quite stressful at times. Katie Harvey: And obviously it's quite funny, isn't it? When you're on the tools and you're self-employed, you are technically a business owner. You're still running everything. You're still doing all the invoices, working with clients, working with other tradesmen, working with the wholesalers. But a lot of people don't see it like that, do they, until you're kind of in it. rob edmonds: No, no, everyone thinks it is, you you're earning an absolute fortune. You're running your own business. You're earning an absolute fortune. But they don't see, you know, you get someone who's on the cards, P-A-Y-E for a company. They get all their insurances paid for, all their taxes paid for. They normally get a vehicle. If not, they're getting travel and everything else. They don't see the insurances, public liability insurances, having all your test instruments calibrated. having to pay for retraining at the moment is pretty much every two years. Having to buy new books, ⁓ doing all your taxes, having an accountant, running a vehicle, running you, paying for your insurances on your vehicle, your MOTs, your taxes, your maintenance, everything else. Everyone thinks, yeah, you're earning an absolute fortune, but when you work it out, in some ways, money-wise, you're no better off than being PAYE. The only thing it does give you, it gives you extra freedom. If you feel like, right next week I'm taking the day off, you don't have to worry about telling the boss I'm taking the day off and they're monotone. You just take the day off and that's it. So it's easier that way, but it's a lot more stressful when it comes down to actually running the business side of things. And it can, yeah, it does get to you and it can get to you. Katie Harvey: It's definitely something that I think people overlook and have a bit of an oversight on. Now, you've been with Breathe together, you've been part of Breathe for quite a while now, and take us back to when you started on Breathe, what your perception of burnout was, what your perception of balance was, and where you were back then. rob edmonds: It's about a year ago, or just under a year ago I started with Breathe. My perception of burnout, I really didn't know, to be perfectly honest. I thought burnout was like, you was ill, that was it. You couldn't function. But burnout to me now is a lot more in depth. knowing all the chemicals in your body, your sleep, your habits, your exercise, your nutrition and stuff like that. You don't realise how much of an impact that makes on burnout and actually recognising the signs of burnout. It's something over last 10 months or so that I've been with Breathe that I've actually realised and I've actually implemented into my life. and it has made me realise that burnout is manageable. And once you know what you're looking at and what causes your burnout, your tiredness, your weakness, you've got something there that you can put into place that can actually solve that problem, pretty much. You can actually control it. Katie Harvey: Yeah, and it's funny, isn't it? We talk about it quite a lot in the fact that we do have stages where things are tougher than usual and everything goes out the window. And it's not something that you can escape permanently. And I don't generally believe in like perfect balance, but it's about slowing down after a big sprint and actually understanding that we need to take step back sometimes and not just be full power all the time, because it doesn't do anything for your productivity. It doesn't do anything for your work and it doesn't do anything for your mental health. rob edmonds: ⁓ no, no, you know, if you don't understand what's going on with your body, you're just going to carry on, carry on, carry on. And before you know it, you are really ill. You can make yourself very, very ill and very quickly without recognizing the signs. If you don't know how to control that and what is causing that, you know, I had it years ago. I went through burnout, didn't know what it was. Didn't realize it was burnout. And I just couldn't function. Could not function for weeks. And then the stress itch even more because you've got no money coming in, especially if you're a business owner. You've got no money coming in. The stretch hits you even more, the burnout gets even worse. And before you know it, you could easily get into a position where you're in hospital and having counselling and whatever else and, you know, knowing how to control that now and to notify or to notice the changes in me and the way I'm working and everything, and my sleep patterns and everything. Yeah, it's just a, it's a game changer. Over the last year I've really improved all aspects of my life really. Don't get me wrong, still have moments, still have meltdowns and whatever else, that's part of life I think. But recognising what's causing it and knowing what I can do about it gets me through it a hell of a lot quicker. And as you say, slowing down, not pushing yourself forward and people think, oh I'll just keep pushing, pushing, pushing. and you get to that point and then you're just making yourself worse. But if you step back, chill out a bit, say, right, I'm doing this too much, I'm doing that too much, let's step back a bit. You get through that burnout, or you can actually avoid the burnout. And if you are in it, you get through it lot easier and lot quicker. Katie Harvey: Absolutely. think what you've said there is really valid in that it's not that we don't have bad days. It's still very much a cycle, but when we have a bad day, we recognise the signs, we recognise the symptoms, we know how to bounce back from it quicker. So rather than it taking us weeks to bounce back from it, it only take us a day because we know what we need to do. And you know I love a bit of data and I got you in with the the WootBands and stuff and just having those as well, it's like all of a sudden everything that you're doing becomes very data driven and very, what's the word? It's like on purpose. You're doing it with intention. You know what everything means and that makes a huge difference in itself. So when you first started with Breathe, you didn't really understand the signs and symptoms of burnout. I know that we met at the... rob edmonds: Okay. . Katie Harvey: Property Investors Network meeting and I kind of spoke about burnout there and it was from there that we got talking. And obviously we relate on the level that I was an electrician on the tools as well. I know that feeling, I know that it's hard. But where are you now in how you do things? What's changed about the way that you actually live after being part of this? rob edmonds: I'm very conscious on my exercise now, I'm very conscious on my sleep, I'm very conscious on my nutrition. Before breathe I would eat a hell of a lot of junk food, a hell of lot of crap food, thinking yeah I'm feeding myself, I'm alright. You listen to people saying, yeah, McDonald's has got this nutrition, KFC has got that nutrition, and Fish and Chip's got that nutrition and everything else. When you look into it, it hasn't. It has got nutrition, but the nutrition you need is nowhere near what they're producing or what it needs to produce. You know, I've gone down, before Breed, I'd probably have three, maybe four cut takeaways a week. I'm down to one now. and that is on a Friday. That is my end of week treat. I fish and chips every Friday night, so I absolutely love fish and chips. Other than that, it's home cooked meals. I eat a hell of a lot of fruit every day. So my nutrition has really improved because of it. My sleep, I try and get to sleep the same time every day. I wake up when I wake up. My body tells me when I need to wake up. but I always go try and go to bed at the same time every day. I'm out walking at least once a day. live sort of, it's not rural, but it's semi-rural, but I've got fields and marshes and seawalls and rivers, walks and everything around me. So I'm out walking all the time. If it's absolutely lashing down, nah, I won't bother. I don't like that. going out for 45 minutes coming back soaking wet. I could do without that, thank you very much. if I don't do it one day, then I'll make sure I'll do it the next day. I'll make sure I'll get out an extra time and do me walks. so, what has taught me about living a better life really is really, as I say, it's really improved me, I think. ⁓ My mind, the way I think. Katie Harvey: Yeah rob edmonds: I think clearer most of the time. Again, don't get me wrong, I have bad nights. I have one bank holiday Monday. I went to bed on the Sunday about 11 o'clock, which was a little bit later than what I normally do. I was awake at half three. So on my whoop band, yeah, that didn't show up very well. That showed up a red recovery and not enough sleep and stuff like that. But, you know, I made up for it. I got over it in the next few days. I caught up with it. And every day I'd get up and I'd do my whoop just to check on my sleep, how much sleep I've had, my recovery. all my statistics and everything else. yeah, being part of Breathe has really improved me, think. It's opened my eyes to what you need to look after, what you need to concentrate on to give yourself a better life, I think. Katie Harvey: Absolutely. And there's quite a few points that you've mentioned there and I'm kind of going to dive into each one a little bit more individually. And the first one is nutrition. Now going from like three to four takeaways down to one, that has significant health benefits, but also it must impact you financially because you know takeaways aren't very cheap anymore. And it's how you fuel your body. Like I always put this as an analogy to you wouldn't put crap fuel in a Rolls Royce. So why do you do it yourself? Because you only have one of you and you can't replace that. And you've taken that on board really well. And I know we, we worked on like micro habits to get you to that point, but just by doing those really small changes and like the overnight oats and prepping stuff in advance, it's made a huge difference. And I can imagine that makes quite a difference to your energy levels. rob edmonds: Mm. Thank ⁓ yeah, definitely, without a doubt. you're putting a lot, as you say, you're putting a lot better nutrition into your body. ⁓ You're eating healthy, you're concentrating on your protein intake, your carbs intake, so you're not overloading on one or the other. ⁓ And yeah, just eating. just eating healthier is just, it does, you don't realize it at first, but when you think back, you know, so if I said, right, six months ago, what I was like six months ago or 10 months ago, I think, yeah, I've got a lot more energy now. And there's, when you go on about finances as well, yeah, when I was eating a lot of takeaways, I'd look at my bank balance and it was literally just draining away. And then I stopped all that and I'm looking at my bank balance and thinking. Why is that so high? Why have I got so much money? What hasn't come out? I must admit, I did start panicking, thinking that things weren't coming out that should be coming out. And I'm thinking, I'm driving around with no car insurance because it hasn't come out. But when I checked, everything was still coming out. was just the amount of money I was wasting on takeaways. You know, I used to eat a lot of chocolate. Yeah, trust me, I won't go into how much chocolate I used to eat a week. But I eat hardly any chocolate now. I really do. My biggest bugbear at the moment is bottles of coke, small bottles of coke. I've got to get off that. I've got to start drinking a bit more water. I do drink a lot of water when I'm indoors, but when I'm out, I'll drop into a shop and buy a bottle of coke instead of water. I should drink water really, but it is what it is. Katie Harvey: again, it's another micro habit that we can start working on next. So, and there's, there's always like moving parts, things change, things come in and you've done an amazing job so far. And I think like what you said as well is that, yeah, you still have a treat and that's okay because that's what we talk about a lot is like, we don't go to the extreme. We're not trying to do these like fad diets. We're not trying to like lose 20 kg. We're literally just trying to live a better, healthier lifestyle and have more energy. rob edmonds: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Katie Harvey: so that we can complete our work to a better level, we can run our businesses to a better level, and ultimately just enjoy life a bit more. And like you said, you don't eat much chocolate anymore, and it won't be because you've banned yourself from chocolate. It's like a natural progression. The better you eat, the less you want that stuff. rob edmonds: Yeah, yeah, definitely, you and it, taste buds change as well. When you're eating healthy, your taste buds change and you'll eat something and you think, I don't really like this anymore because you are eating healthier. Your body's saying, yeah, I want chicken salad instead of McDonald's. You know, it's so... Katie Harvey: Yep. Yeah, and then when you do treat yourself to the takeaway, it just suddenly doesn't taste that good anymore. rob edmonds: No, it doesn't, it really doesn't and as I say, fish and chips, I really like my fish and chips, I always have done, ever since I was a kid. So, that's my one treat a week. I don't even like going out and eating anymore. I used like going out to a restaurant now and again and having a say. I just can't be bothered now. I'd just rather eat at home and do something healthy. I have a lot of chicken, I'll go and buy. pack of chicken breasts and chuck them in the air fryer and that's my chicken done for the next three days you know I mean it's as you say batch cooking what a game changer that is Katie Harvey: Yeah, at the start of every week we cook a whole chicken and we just have it for like lunches, snacks, all of those things. And that's great. Like a whole chicken is like five pound and you get so much out of it. For two people it will last you a week easily. For one person that's probably lunches and dinners for most of the week. So always, always recommend that to people. If you are going through a lot of chicken, then just grab a whole one. They don't take that long to cook in the oven either. Like 45 minutes to an hour, just get yourself a thermometer. rob edmonds: Mmm, yeah. Yeah. Katie Harvey: and it actually does it properly so you don't end up with dry chicken. That's my pet peeve is dry chicken. So over the last 10 months, you've changed like a lot of things, very slowly, very gradually. And actually looking back to where you were compared to where you are now, a lot has happened. But what has been the biggest change for you, whether it's mentally or physically, what have you noticed? rob edmonds: I think it's bit of everything. I can't really put my finger on one thing. know, physically I feel better because of the walking, because of the eating healthier. I can think better, I can think straighter, I can concentrate better because I'm getting the rest I need, because I'm getting the nutrition. It's all the same thing. keep banging on about nutrition and exercise and stuff like that but it's just helped me so much in everyday life. know, I don't feel as drained all the time. Eating crap food just drains you. You ain't getting what you need. You know, I just feel... Everything really has improved. know, little bit, bit by bit. I'm not going to say massively, you know, but it has improved and I have seen a difference. And if you can see a difference in changing yourself, everyone else is going to notice that as well. You won't notice it yourself because you're with yourself 24-7, so you don't see it, but... If I look back six, eight months ago, ten months ago, where I was to where I am now, yeah, I feel a lot better. And yeah, I can just do so much more now. Katie Harvey: So another question off the back of that one is you have quite a few different situations in your life that have been quite stressful. You've got things with family, you've got things with work. How do you cope with stressful situations now compared to how you used to? rob edmonds: Cool, that's a good question. I think I'll just slow myself down and chill out a lot more and realise that... Life isn't always that serious. Life is what you make of it. I'm a big over thinker, I overthink everything. I get a letter come through a a bill come through a door, and I instantly overthink that I owe thousands, and I might only owe 20 quid. So I overthink everything, but I've learned now that it's not worth overthinking. It is what it is. Life is what it is. And it's how you deal with it that makes you the person you are. It ain't worth screaming, shouting and stressing over everything. It's pointless. Just sit down, slow yourself down, think about what can be done, how to solve it, how to get over it. yeah, stress is another thing you don't want in your life. And if you can get rid of that, and this is another thing that... breath helps you with is stress, is how to not control it, but how to look after it and not get so stressed with life. yeah, I've learned how to... how to look after that and how to not let it get to me as much as used to. Believe me, it used to get to me a lot. I'd flip out at the slightest thing. Now it's just a case of, how can we get over this? Where's the, I don't look at the problem, I look at solution now. And it's, that's another game changer. Looking at how. Katie Harvey: Absolutely. rob edmonds: to find the solution in a problem instead of actually looking. Because you look at a problem, you look for another problem that will cause that problem. Whereas if you slow yourself down, you look at that problem, you think, right, what's the solution? How can I get over this? Yeah, it just makes you, you ain't stressed out so much, so you ain't as high pain, as tensed. ⁓ Yeah, and that has also come through sleeping properly. as well. ⁓ If you can get enough sleep you can function a lot better. You're not as tired when you wake up. You can wake up stressed and if you are stressed when you wake up your day is only going to get worse without a doubt. Unless you're going to sit on a beach away from every person on the planet for the next eight hours your day is only going to get worse if you're waking up stressed. Katie Harvey: 100 % and that's why like for me mornings have to be really calm and I start my mornings very very slowly wake up go downstairs Empty the dishwasher make my breakfast have that with my coffee I don't go on my phone first thing and then by eight quarter past eight I'm back at the desk ready to go writing down my tasks for the day and that all in all it takes around 45 minutes and I just start the day so calmly and it just it sets me up for a much better day. So it does make a difference the way that you start your day. rob edmonds: Yeah, that's the one thing I'm trying to get into now is writing everything down. Journaling and as you say, I've done it a few times and you you say you get up in the morning or even in the evening, you write things down, it's out your head. People say like it goes out your head and people say no it doesn't, it's still in your head. It ain't, it's somehow, you write it down. And you're then not thinking about it overnight, it's not keeping you awake. You're waking up in the morning with a clear head and then you can sit down, as you say, can sit down. I haven't done this yet, but know a lot of people have done it, everyone I talk to does it, raves about it. And you write it down in the morning and you know what your day's planned out like. Instead of getting up thinking, right, what have I got to do now? ⁓ I've got to do this, ⁓ no, I've got to do this, ⁓ I forgot to do this. Everything's clear. which means you can then think about other things a lot clearer. ⁓ I'm trying to get into that at the moment. The other thing I want to do is block planning as well. Because I will sit at an iPad, I'll give it an hour, three hours later I'm still sitting there. And then I'm starting to get stressed because I ain't getting the work done that I need to get done. So I've got to try and get my head into that. Katie Harvey: You rob edmonds: Again, it's another micro habit, it's another habit. doesn't take long. I like it done. Of an evening, 10, 15 minutes just to write down your plan for tomorrow, what you're grateful for, what you've got achieved that day. And if you haven't got everything achieved, bung it on to the next day. And just write everything down. I know that helps a lot and it's one thing I've really got to try and push forward with. get on with and again that had to be another improvement on myself. Katie Harvey: 100 % and it's never ending really is it every level unlocks another level if Someone was in your shoes right now or even where you were ten months ago What would be your top three tips that you would leave them? top three things to get started in or top three things that They should be doing or even something that they should stop rob edmonds: Stop stressing. Without a doubt, stop stressing. Ain't worth it. Stressing don't get you anywhere. Stress just makes you ill. Gives you red aches. Keeps up at night. Yeah, so stop stressing. Calm yourself down and it goes along with stress, but calm yourself down and think more. And another thing I've done over the last couple of years. Don't take any crap. Yeah, don't have, and get rid of as much negativity in your life as possible. I've done this over the last couple of years. A couple of years ago, I had a clear out of my Facebook people on there that I'd put a post up and you'd get a dig. And I'm like, don't need that. See you later, bye. And there's a lot of people I don't talk to now. because of negativity. I surround myself with positive people, positive thinking people, because it pushes you forward, it keeps you positive. There was a working men's club we used to go to. I'd go there three or four times a week. Don't go down, I've been there now twice in last 12 months. Because of the type of people that get in there, constantly moaning about their life, constantly moaning about life in general. the government and everything else. If I want to know about that, I'll look up myself. I don't like things like that. I don't look at the news. yeah, get positivity in your life. Get rid of as much negativity as possible. If you want to get on with something, if you want to do something, you want to build a business, you got an idea, you got a plan for your life, go and do it. Yeah, I've learned that over last year or so. years. Go out and do it. Yeah, because you do not want to be lying in a box thinking, well you won't be thinking because you'll be lying in a box dead, but you don't want to be later in life thinking, I wish I'd done that. Regret, I've got regrets. My biggest regret years ago was I never traveled enough. That was my one real, and it still is. It's a ⁓ massive, massive regret for me that I never travelled when I had the chance when I was younger. And I say that to a lot of kids, lot of youngsters in their late teens, early twenties. Get the money together, travel the world. Because once you settle down and get married, have kids, mortgage, debts, you won't do it. It will never happen. But if you want to start a business, do it. What can go wrong? Katie Harvey: Exactly. I mean, I... rob edmonds: It don't work out, don't work out, go back to doing what you were doing in your day job. Katie Harvey: Exactly, I was saying that to someone actually, I was like your worst case scenario is actually just how you're living now and that's not so bad is it really? Before we wrap up, have you got any final thoughts that you want to share? rob edmonds: No, exactly. ⁓ no, just that I'm, I'm grateful for meeting you, Katie. ⁓ you know, we've known each other a couple of years now and getting involved in Breathe, as I say, has been a game changer to me. You know, I said this at one of the pin meetings that we was on, that you'd done your presentation. I stood up and I said like, absolutely fantastic what you do. And you are an inspiration. Yeah. For your age, that I know a lot of people. around your age that they just want to go out, get drunk, do drugs and cause trouble. think they're clever at doing it. But you your age, you are an inspiration for the younger generation, for the older generation as well, for me. You know, I think you're great at what you're doing and I'm thankful for meeting you and being part of the Breathe community. I think it's absolutely great what you do. And as I say, it's been a game changer for me. Where I'd be if I hadn't met you and hadn't been doing this brief, who knows? Probably still in junk food three to four times a week. So not sleeping properly, stressed out and whatever else. Yeah. Yeah, as I say, I'm just really grateful really. Katie Harvey: Thank you. That was really nice. Very nice way to end it. Thank you very much for sharing your perspective so openly and actually being honest with what you've been through and how you've got there and also sharing like life isn't perfect. It doesn't all come together at once. It's a slow progress. Conversations like this exist to normalise the experiences that many people are going through quietly as life and responsibility grow. rob edmonds: ⁓ huh. Katie Harvey: If anything in this episode landed, I would love for you to do one of two things. Take the success hangover check in at breatheblueprint.com. It only takes a couple of minutes and it'll show you exactly where your performance is costing you or grab a copy of my book, The Success Hangover, which is the Amazon UK number one bestseller wherever you buy your books. And if you found this useful, leave a review, share it with someone who needs to hear it. That is how we grow. If anyone wants to reach out to you, Rob, how can they do so? rob edmonds: Well then get my details off of yourself or they can email me at robedmans.hotmail.co.uk just email me or find me on social media it's not a problem just type in your name and name will come up and Katie Harvey: Amazing, wow. rob edmonds: Yeah, if anyone wants to ask me any questions about this, feel free. I ain't got a problem. Katie Harvey: Amazing, thank you so much and I will see you all next week.