Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Reflect on the Year That Was With Carly Taylor
Transcript
- 0:09Speaker 1: Hey everyone, it's Curi here for this week's Mojo Monday. So,
- 0:13Speaker 1: given where a couple of days out from New Year's Eve,
- 0:16Speaker 1: I thought i'd offer a suggestion that you might want
- 0:19Speaker 1: to add to whatever you're doing with your New Year's
- 0:22Speaker 1: kind of intentions. It's not instead of setting goals or
- 0:26Speaker 1: not instead of setting resolutions. It just kind of works
- 0:29Speaker 1: alongside them. But I mean, speaking of resolutions, we know
- 0:33Speaker 1: from research that most New Year's resolutions do not last
- 0:38Speaker 1: much longer than a few weeks because motivation fades and
- 0:41Speaker 1: life gets busy, and we often slip back into old patterns,
- 0:46Speaker 1: which is not a personal failing, it's just how humans
- 0:49Speaker 1: tend to work. So before we rush into goal setting
- 0:55Speaker 1: for the year ahead, I wanted to invite you to
- 0:59Speaker 1: pause and reflect on the year that was. So we had,
- 1:03Speaker 1: of course, three hundred and sixty five days, which is
- 1:06Speaker 1: a long time, and it's long enough to have days
- 1:10Speaker 1: or moments of joy and pride, and moments that felt
- 1:15Speaker 1: fairly neutral and kind of blah, and moments that were
- 1:19Speaker 1: genuinely hard, and some challenges might have been manageable and
- 1:24Speaker 1: others may have really pushed you right to the edge.
- 1:28Speaker 1: So Greg Creech, who is my mentor in Japanese psychology.
- 1:33Speaker 1: He has spent decades translating Marita therapy into practical, everyday tools,
- 1:39Speaker 1: and he talks about the importance of reviewing the year
- 1:44Speaker 1: with honesty and kindness, so not to judge ourselves, not
- 1:48Speaker 1: to try and fix anything, not to fix the past,
- 1:51Speaker 1: but to understand how we lived. So yes, absolutely reflect
- 1:57Speaker 1: on your achievements, and of course that matters, but I
- 2:00Speaker 1: would also encourage you to spend time reflecting on the challenges,
- 2:05Speaker 1: so you could ask yourself, how did I respond when
- 2:09Speaker 1: things were difficult, what emotions showed up for me, How
- 2:14Speaker 1: did those emotions influence my behavior, my choices, or my relationships.
- 2:21Speaker 1: Where did I cope well, even if I coped imperfectly,
- 2:25Speaker 1: and where did I struggle? And what does that tell
- 2:28Speaker 1: me about being human? Because the key here is around
- 2:33Speaker 1: curiosity rather than judgment, because judgment tends to collapse us
- 2:38Speaker 1: into shame or defensiveness, whereas curiosity really creates this space
- 2:44Speaker 1: and it allows us to look at our experience with
- 2:48Speaker 1: a little distance, without being consumed by it. And I'll
- 2:52Speaker 1: share a personal example from my own year. So in
- 2:56Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, one of my biggest challenges was Paul,
- 3:00Speaker 1: who had opened the heart surgery, so as you can imagine,
- 3:04Speaker 1: that brought up a lot of crystal ball thinking about
- 3:07Speaker 1: what could go wrong, and saying goodbye before the surgery
- 3:11Speaker 1: was really really hard. Waiting for that surgeon's call was harder,
- 3:16Speaker 1: and looking back, the worry was there, and of course
- 3:19Speaker 1: it was because he's my husband and I'm human. But
- 3:23Speaker 1: I can also see that I managed myself reasonably well
- 3:27Speaker 1: in a very challenging situation. So I really intentionally placed
- 3:32Speaker 1: my attention on the trust in the surgeon and the
- 3:35Speaker 1: surgical team and on hope, rather than feeding that spiral
- 3:40Speaker 1: of fearful thoughts. So the anxiety around it didn't disappear,
- 3:46Speaker 1: but it didn't run the show either. So that reflection
- 3:50Speaker 1: really matters, not because I did it perfectly, but because
- 3:53Speaker 1: it helps me see my capacity So great Creech reminds
- 3:59Speaker 1: us that reflect action is not about rewriting the past.
- 4:03Speaker 1: It's about accepting what happened, acknowledging our efforts, and leaning
- 4:10Speaker 1: towards how we tend to respond when life gets hard.
- 4:14Speaker 1: So he consistently returns to attention, behavior, responsibility, and acceptance
- 4:21Speaker 1: of our emotional reality. So when we do this, something
- 4:25Speaker 1: really powerful happens. We make room for who we were,
- 4:29Speaker 1: then we accept who we are right now, and then
- 4:35Speaker 1: we quietly strengthen our ability to meet future challenges with
- 4:40Speaker 1: a little bit more steadiness. So as you head into
- 4:44Speaker 1: the new year, I invite you to reflect before you resolve.
- 4:50Speaker 1: So let the year that was teach you something about
- 4:53Speaker 1: your resilience, your limits, your values, and your humanity. Growth
- 5:00Speaker 1: starts with understanding ourselves, and I think this is a
- 5:05Speaker 1: really good opportunity, a really good time to reflect on
- 5:08Speaker 1: ourselves and the year that was, and then from there
- 5:12Speaker 1: action will then follow naturally. Thank you for joining me
- 5:16Speaker 1: this week and I will catch you next Monday. Sea