Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Cockroach Condos
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Imagine you come home from work one day, you open
- 0:02Speaker 1: the cabinet under your kitchen sink and find the cutest
- 0:06Speaker 1: little nest of cockroaches, Oh, having the time of their lives. Yeah,
- 0:14Speaker 1: of course, your natural instinct is to legally adopt them
- 0:18Speaker 1: and knit them tiny little onesies so they don't get
- 0:21Speaker 1: cold under there.
- 0:22Speaker 2: Oh that is kind of cute.
- 0:23Speaker 1: But some lady when she saw hers, freaked out and
- 0:27Speaker 1: decided to call up an exterminator. Yeah, it's extreme. Wow,
- 0:32Speaker 1: Now the city is going to have to get involved
- 0:34Speaker 1: for a reason that she never saw coming. It's your
- 0:37Speaker 1: phone tap right.
- 0:38Speaker 3: Now, working Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties.
- 0:44Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, is this carrot?
- 0:47Speaker 3: This is she Ma asked.
- 0:49Speaker 2: Hi, my name's Dirk Kurdle. Dirk, you recently reported a
- 0:52Speaker 2: cockroach infestation at your home? Correct?
- 0:55Speaker 3: Oh, yes, yes, Sorry, I just didn't recognize the number.
- 0:59Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, sorry, I'm calling from the city. Actually,
- 1:02Speaker 2: I just wanted to update you on the situation. If
- 1:04Speaker 2: that's okay. Do you have a second I.
- 1:06Speaker 3: Guess I didn't realize the city got involved just because
- 1:08Speaker 3: I called the exterminator.
- 1:10Speaker 2: Well, we kind of had to get involved.
- 1:13Speaker 3: Why.
- 1:14Speaker 2: Apparently the exterminators found that the breed of cockroach in
- 1:18Speaker 2: your home is the red speckled dancing cockroach.
- 1:21Speaker 1: What I know, amazing?
- 1:23Speaker 2: Right?
- 1:25Speaker 3: I don't know that I would use the word amazing
- 1:27Speaker 3: and think the word scary is more like it.
- 1:31Speaker 2: Now they're on the endangered species list, which is what
- 1:33Speaker 2: makes it a city matter. Now, uh uh, because they're endangered,
- 1:38Speaker 2: stop it. We're actually not allowed to come in and
- 1:41Speaker 2: exterminate them.
- 1:42Speaker 3: What do you mean you can't exterminate them?
- 1:45Speaker 2: Well, they're endangered, so they need our help rather than
- 1:49Speaker 2: us to you know, to kill them.
- 1:53Speaker 3: This has got to be like some kind of joke, right,
- 1:55Speaker 3: I mean, there's no way this is real.
- 1:57Speaker 2: I wish I understand and it was a joke. That
- 2:00Speaker 2: would be a hilarious joke. Honestly, that's brilliant. But no,
- 2:04Speaker 2: Unfortunately they are protected by laws.
- 2:06Speaker 3: What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to
- 2:08Speaker 3: just live with these cockroaches? It's gonna be out of
- 2:10Speaker 3: your mind?
- 2:11Speaker 2: I wouldn't say with, I would say adjacent.
- 2:14Speaker 3: No, No, Well, what we can.
- 2:18Speaker 2: Do is set up a fully functioning cockroach apartment.
- 2:21Speaker 3: Oh my god, no, just on.
- 2:23Speaker 2: The east side of your home.
- 2:24Speaker 3: This is ridiculous. I'm going to call somebody else because
- 2:27Speaker 3: it can't possibly have a roach apartment.
- 2:30Speaker 2: I get what you're saying completely, but according to the law,
- 2:33Speaker 2: we need to provide housing for these.
- 2:35Speaker 3: I'm saying, this is the cockroaches. You can spray it
- 2:37Speaker 3: with a cann of raid and they'll still crawl up
- 2:40Speaker 3: your walls.
- 2:41Speaker 2: Look, I'm gonna pretend that you didn't say that, because
- 2:44Speaker 2: if the authorities found out what you just said, you
- 2:46Speaker 2: would get arrested.
- 2:47Speaker 3: I would be arrested for killing a bug that has
- 2:51Speaker 3: invaded my home.
- 2:53Speaker 2: Okay, but you have to remember we're not just talking
- 2:55Speaker 2: about bugs here. It's the red speckled dancing cockroach. And
- 3:00Speaker 2: think about it. Once we get these cockroach condos installed,
- 3:03Speaker 2: your problem will go away.
- 3:04Speaker 3: You have a name for this cockroach condo.
- 3:09Speaker 1: Pretty cute.
- 3:10Speaker 2: It's a pretty smart name. I actually came up with. Well,
- 3:14Speaker 2: I helped. I helped come up with the name of it.
- 3:16Speaker 3: You are a moron.
- 3:18Speaker 2: I wouldn't say that.
- 3:19Speaker 3: I would. You're building condos for insects. They were interesting
- 3:25Speaker 3: my whole there's susy creatures giving the down my house.
- 3:28Speaker 2: Picture them as any animal, like when you'd see at
- 3:30Speaker 2: the zoo. If it was an elephant, you wouldn't mind
- 3:32Speaker 2: an elephant condo by your house, would you?
- 3:34Speaker 3: You know what I think. I think you hit your
- 3:38Speaker 3: head when you were a kid, when you were a teenager,
- 3:41Speaker 3: when you were an adult. Must of the time.
- 3:43Speaker 2: I didn't know that I called into a psychic.
- 3:45Speaker 3: How did you know that I'm not a psychic, dummy?
- 3:48Speaker 2: Okay, that makes sense. If you were psychic, you would
- 3:50Speaker 2: know that this was a prank phone call, and then
- 3:53Speaker 2: you wouldn't even be this upset. No. Uh, your nephew
- 3:57Speaker 2: Evan set you up. He said that you recently called
- 4:00Speaker 2: an exterminator because you have a big cockroach problem. Kill him.
- 4:07Speaker 3: So pleasefully that you aren't really with the city, right.
- 4:10Speaker 2: No, I'm not with the city. I'm on a show
- 4:12Speaker 2: called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. It's a morning
- 4:14Speaker 2: radio show. And yes, this is a phone tap.
- 4:18Speaker 3: Just gave me a heart attack. I think my blood
- 4:20Speaker 3: pressure is like twenty degrees about where it's supposed to be.
- 4:23Speaker 2: Well when I make it rich on cockroach condos. Guess
- 4:25Speaker 2: who I'm calling back to bragg.
- 4:28Speaker 1: Me.
- 4:29Speaker 2: Oh my god, you are psychic. Oh you're psychic. Hang on,
- 4:33Speaker 2: I gotta hang up the phone man oh broke in
- 4:40Speaker 2: Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties