Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 185. When Loyalty Hurts: She Cancels Again… Do I Keep Excusing Her or Finally Walk Away?💔

Transcript

185. When Loyalty Hurts: She Cancels Again… Do I Keep Excusing Her or Finally Walk Away?💔 · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apologie production.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: An easier advice.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Are you okay? What happened? Promise it won't be too much?
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Bring it in.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Welcome to our bestie segment, My gold, my girl, this
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: is the place for you.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful ladies, Good morning, afternoon, evening, wherever you are.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: We are back with another besty episode, Tiana, What have
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: you got for us today?
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Oh? When loyalty hurts? We love the friendship stuff that
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: comes in here. By the way, it's mostly friendship. Hey,
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: it really is friendship stuff hurts?
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Does?
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: All right, let's do it? Hello, I would like some advice.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: That's what we're here for. I have a friend who
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I've known for nearly ten years. I love it a bit.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Since she's a type of girl I can let my
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: inner bitch come out with no judgment. We love that
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: she's had some healthy issues in the past that require medication.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: She has therapy to work through childhood trauma. She's currently
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: going through an anxiety phase at the moment. It's happened
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: before over where she silenced everybody out of her life
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: other than her parents as she kept having seizures and
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: she just needed to be selfish and focus on herself.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I was there for her, checking in with parents, sending
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: her flowers, and the odd message that just had no
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: expectation on her to reply at all, just to let
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: her know that I'm there. That lasted well over a year.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: She came out of it more mature and much happier,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: and we were still as close as ever, if not more.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Oh that's nice.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Recently, in the last eighteen months, she has slid out
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: of my life again. I still checked in with messages,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: but I have been busy myself and struggled to be
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: there to support her as much. During this time, I
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: had a tough pregnancy, a second sea section with a
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: todd little look after two the baby has had lots
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: of hospital troops and admissions, and all I wanted was
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: for some love and support from my best friend, which
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: had never got due to her own situation. Her situation
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: is a new relationship, moving in with this guy, passing
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: away of two grandparents, a tough time at work, and
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: an anxiety attack phase. Over the last eighteen months, I
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: have tried where possible to help her support her many
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: money times, and it has been her not responding or
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: canceling on me. Last moment before her anxiety needs started.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: We met up. I broke down on her, saying I
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: was struggling with my husband working six nights, six days
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: a week, and she promised to set up a day
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: once a week where she would come and help with
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: tea and just have a girly catch up. I feel
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: so happy having some adult conversation and some time with her.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: But this happened twice before. It was constant cancelations before
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I stopped trying. We said we would take turns hosting
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: where possible, and I also totally gare that this could
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: be a big commitment, but she lives so close. By
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: the weekend she canceled on coming to my four year
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: old's party. She's the godmother. By the way, this is
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: the weekend she's not replied about going to the theater
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: for my thirtieth birthday, which has been booked in for
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: about five months, and I just know she's going to cancel.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I have always been the person who tries and goes
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: above and beyond for their close friends, as well as
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: always being the understanding person who is like, I get it,
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: you're having a hard time, take care of yourself, etc.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: But I'm at a point where I want to be
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: selfish and I want to have a reliable friend, and
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I get it. She has a her own shit going on,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: and I do respect it. It's just so constant and
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: predictable that I feel like I'm now over the friendship. PS.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: She is meant to be my bridesmaid for my wedding
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: in twenty twenty seven. We did the legal paperwork, but
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: haven't had any celebration yet due to life and finances.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Oh oh oh, this one's so tough. I feel like
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: this situation is it's gonna be really heartbreaking. And yes,
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: there's a level of understanding that has to happen, given
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: she's going through her own things. But if I'm being
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: so real with you right now, Ash and I go
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: through our own shit, and it's been heavy. There's been grief,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: there's been passings, there's been so much stuff this year,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: and we still make time for each other.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's priory.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: And I don't mean to highlight that to make you
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: feel bad or make you sad or anything like that,
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: but almost just like as a piece of evidence that
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: you will prioritize the things that are important to you
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: and sometimes people just one don't have the capacity. Yeah,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: and maybe she's just there right now. Yeah, And that's okay.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: You can have.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Understanding, you can be appreciative, you can you know, be
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: there for he still send the message, is all the things.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: But if she's also not meeting you in the middle,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: that's almost like a sign for you to just go Okay, cool,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: that's where she's at. I'm not going to get the
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: friendship that I want craven desire from her right now.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: And that's okay. You may be sad about it. It's
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: going to bring up some grief. You're going to grieve
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: the relationship and feel like, God, why can't you just
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: show up for me in the way that I want
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: you to? Or it's not that hard. Send a message,
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: give me a call, FaceTime me, Like, there's so many
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: touch points of connection that you can have. But I
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: really believe that she's showing you her capacity for how
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: deep and how connected she's willing to be with you
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: in this season of her life. And I think this
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: is something that you've just got to be willing to
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: accept and hear her when she's telling you that she
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: can't meet you in the depth that you need her to.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've said that perfectly, And it's not that your
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: friend is doing anything wrong. And I think in the past,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I would have felt how you're feeling, because I had
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: quite high expectations on my friendships, because I always put
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: them as a priority, and I was showing up as
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: that friend. I was doing everything and checking in, buying
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: the flowers, doing all the doing all the things. I
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: expected people to treat me the same. And then this
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: year alone, watching one of my best friends go through
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: grief and watching her not have the capacity for anything
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: else but survival, it really made me reflect and goes.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Some people just don't have the capacity, yeah, anything else
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: black getting through each day. And there is absolutely zero
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: expectation now around my friends, zero judgment, zero assuming it's
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: just showing up in a way that they need. And
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: that feels good for me too. It's not totally abandoning
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: myself or abandoning the friendship. It's just knowing this is
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: a season right now, and what is she needing? What
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: am I needing? And then how do we navigate that
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: through together? And sometimes space and distance is what people need. Yeah,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: and it might not even be about you. She does
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: have a new partner. We've had this conversation. If frien
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Tiana gets a new partner, that our dynamic will shift.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: We do a lot together right now, but when you
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: bring someone else into the day, of course, Towna's time
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: has to be split more. You have to prioritize more
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: time with them. You know, things change, relationships change. It
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean that she or you are doing anything wrong,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: but what you're desiring in the friendship. She can't meet
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: you there, and it might be beautiful for you to
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: open yourself up to meeting other friends that can you
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: meet you there? Or I'm more aligned right now, and
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I think your friend will come back when she's ready.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: In the same breath, I feel you because it's hard.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: It is hard.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I've been in friendships where I've just wanted them so
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: badly to make the plans, to not cancel, to check
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: in how I am, or you know. I remember there
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: was times so I was really sick one day and
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I was on my story saying how sick I was,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: And I remember this one French she was watching my
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: stories and didn't even swipe up to say are you okay?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Can I do anything? Do you want to visit? It?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Like nothing? And I remember just being like, why can't you,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Why can't you just want you to be here, just
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: want you to be here Like that, it makes you
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: feel like you're not worthy of love and they don't
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: love you anymore and you've been abandoned and rejected and
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: all those wounds start to arise.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I definitely do.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I hope you hear the first thing I said, But
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: I also really feel for you because I know what
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: feels like, and it's really hard to sit with that.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: It's really fucking uncomfortable because you.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Feel lonely, especially when you want that person to be
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: the one who gives you the love. You know, we
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: understand what that feels like too. But yeah, it's just
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: it's hard because this is one of those real uncomfortable
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: moments in life where it's like acceptance is really acceptance,
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: you know, acceptance of like what is what she's showing
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: you where she's able to meet you, and also acceptance
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: that like it makes you sad, you knowing that it's
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: okay that you feel that way, because I would feel
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: the same way too. I've had that in the past.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: We all have. Yeah, great stages of your life too. Absolutely,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: And she's a new honeymoon relationship phase and you're in
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: maybe going through a hard time with your husband and
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: your kids, and you're needing more support.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: I'd be curious, like, obviously you've said this person is
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: so important to you, your best friend. Is this something
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: that you've had a real, deep, honest conversation about, Like
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: if yes, maybe you've had it many times before and
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: you feel like it's not getting anywhere. Maybe this has
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: been one of those topics where it's just like I'm
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: not going to touch this because I'm scared of what
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: come out of it.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Which I've been there too.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: Oh of course absolutely, but it's like maybe in this
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: season of your life you can lean on courage and
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: bravery and go, Okay, well, if I want her to
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: be at my wedding, and she's going to be in
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: a very important role in my wedding, this is probably
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: worth having a conversation around of any disappointment that you
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: may feel like, you know obviously understanding her grief, so
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: going hey, like, I love you, I understand you've had
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: a really rough time. I'm also going through a really
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: rough time now and I miss you. I would love
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: to see how we could really have that conversation again
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: to make sure that we can prioritize girl time spending
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: time together and repairing what is actually broken, Because if
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: she doesn't know that there's anything there, how's she going
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: to know that's right.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: She's in her own head, that's right of us.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Are and also by you being honest about what it
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: is that you're needing, she's going to be able to
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: say I don't have the capacity for this right now,
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: or oh my gosh, I didn't know that this was
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: coming up for you. Let's repair. Yeah, but you'll never
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: know unless you try.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Then you get clarity, yeah, and that helps you either
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: unplug or move forward together. Yeah, friendship st afre so tricky.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: It is hard.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: It's really hard. But I think these open conversations are
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: so good. Like even when we were away from my birthday,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: like we did have the conversation of when you bring
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: a new partner and both of us for like how
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: you feel about that? Yeah, you're like, I'm scared. I
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: was like me too.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: We were both like I don't want anything to change,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: and she's like me too. Yeah, just like, oh my gosh,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: we have to prioritize everything and just make sure that
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: we continue to do the things that we do and
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: make sure we have that locked in time.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: But I also said to Tiana, I'm like, things will
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: change and it will feel different, and I want you
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: to go and spend time with your new partner and like,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I'm a big girl. You don't have to take care
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: of me or like not feel bad because you can't
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: do something anymore. Like things change, they do. When I
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: had Taj, when I had Tala, like that made me
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: have less time for my friends. Yeah, like that's life.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: But it's just once again communicating that what feels good
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: and like, how can we keep our connections still fun
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: and make time for each other that fits in with
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: everyone's schedules. It's not hard. Yeah, I've got two kids
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: and a husband that you've got to work around. I do.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I do it, And you know what, that's the thing.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, if you can do it, I
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: can do it.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously if you do know what I mean?
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: That was yeah, mindset I was, And I'm like, he's
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: gonna have to know who comes first in a priority
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: line because it's you, you know, And it's just it
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: was cool to bring this conversation in, but it's it
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: is the reality of it. Sometimes we were scared to
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: have that conversation because obviously we both care about our
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: friendship so much, just like, oh.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: We love doing everything together and it's so fun.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: We have so much fun together, and every moment is special,
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: the highs, the lows, the fucking, the grief, the hardships,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: all of it. Like we go through every season together
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: and I don't want that to change. So we understand
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: firsthand what it can feel like when you crave that
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: and you want that and you want more of it
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: from someone that you really care about.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: And the dynamics and friendships changing is hard though. Yeah,
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: it's like even in relationships. Steve and I always joke
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: about it, but he's married ten different women, Like our
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: dynamic has changed. It's so much and it's really hard.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Only recently we've had like a ton of another, really
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: big hard conversations of like, Okay, where are we going
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: with our marriage, what's feeling good, what's not? What's coming
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: up for you? Do you have resemblance here? Do I
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: have resembment here? Like are we both still super aligned?
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: And they're really uncomfortable conversations and Steve realize all this
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: stuff about him and I realize the stuff about me,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: and then it's like, okay, together this is our plan
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: moving forward, like you have to constantly be evolving together
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: and be fluid and flexible with the changes that happen
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: in relationship dynamics, it's never the same willingness. Willingness one
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: hundred percent and acceptance for where they're at and how
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: much they can stretch where the capacity is.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: And I think that's something to note as well, the
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: willingness part. You can only grow something when two people
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: are willing. So true, and it's not saying that she
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: doesn't love you, because I believe that she does, like
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: she would love you so much. And also she's right
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: now in this season never life, maybe not willing to
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: create a friendship that has so much depth, because for
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: somebody who doesn't have a lot of capacity, a deep
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: friendship can maybe be draining than it is giving, you know,
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: depending on where somebody is at mentally, And so it's
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: also just something to take into consideration. Doesn't necessarily mean
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: anything about you as a person. I don't want you
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: to take this personally or make it seem or feel
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: as if you aren't deserving, you're not good enough, You're
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: not you know, worthy of having this type of friendship
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: or having somebody invest effort and time into you because
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: it's not true, Like I just I'm wanting to squash
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: those stories so fast.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: And to make you not feel so alone. Just brought
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: up like we've both had people in our lives that
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: have ended a friendship or yours is more like not
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: wanting to further the friendship. And when I was ending
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: a friendship like a fucking breakup because they didn't have
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: capacity for the depth that we wanted. Yeah, that girl,
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it doesn't matter about names, but she
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: said to you like I don't wish I'm pursuing a
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: friendship with you. I had to text since you're just
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: saying I can't give you the depth of what you're
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: wanting for this friendship and basically ended it. It's like
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: you're not alone in this. I think this happens a
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: lot more. But I think having the conversation so you
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: have clarity, so you're not just over here going oh
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure and yeah she's my bridesmaid and then
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: she turns up to your wedding and it's awkward, like eh, no,
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: like let's have the conversation. See where you're both at. Yeah,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: no one's doing anything wrong. Yeah, get clear on what
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: you're both desiring and whether you both want to make
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: this friendship work. Either way, it's hard if you don't
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: have the conversation, it's really hard because you' left feeling
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: how you're feeling now for sure, And if the friendship's
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: done its time, it's also really hard.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: It's almost like closure when you have a conversation, And
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: maybe that's the scary part. We're never really ready for closure.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You don't want to hear no.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: You have to be willing to go into it knowing
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: and feeling like, Okay, potential worst case scenario could happen
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: And it might not be either. Yeah, don't jump to
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: the conclusion, but prepare yourself that it could be the end.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: That's a scary thing. People don't have conversations because they like,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: but what if I have the closure that I don't want,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: you know, But also if it isn't aligned to what
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: it will do, is it allow you to move on
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: and be like, oh my gosh, I respect you, thank
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: you so much for telling me where you're at, and
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: then almost like you're not left in limerens anymore.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: Even in friendships, that's the worst feeling, isn't it thing
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: that limbo like fearing. Is she upset? Like what's happening? Yeah,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: like this, Oh my god, it used to be the worst.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: It's what makes it so much bigger in your head,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: and that's what makes you scared to go have the conversation.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: So if you can, I think it's worth it. If
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: you love her, it's worth it. If you care about
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: your dynamic, it's worth it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Definitely.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Last year is a year of hard conversation. That's your
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: thing this year. Yeah, hard conversations. And also I sort
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: of acknowledge that hard time you're going through in motherhood,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: like two young babies, feeling like you're doing it on
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: your own, having relationship troubles with your husband, Like life
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: is fucking hard. Sometimes sometimes it just feels like when
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: it rains, it pause and I really see you in that.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I'm just sending you a lot of love and be
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: kind to yourself, and also just remember like you taking
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: care of you as the most important thing, and regulating
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: your nervous system so that you can handle these hard
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: conversations without reacting instead of like respond in a way
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: that you feel proud of, and just take care of
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: you because you and your kids need it.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so beautifully said.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Well, thanks for joining us and with love and updates
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: to what you do if you decide to confront her
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: and have a conversation and let us know and we
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: here for any support.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sending you so much love.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Bye. We'll see you guys in the next episode.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Bye bye