Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / The Standard 2/7 #TakeActionTuesday: Big Dreams, Lazy Habits? Apply Pressure. Talent means nothing without the work ethic to back it up.

Transcript

The Standard 2/7 #TakeActionTuesday: Big Dreams, Lazy Habits? Apply Pressure. Talent means nothing without the work ethic to back it up. · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings and welcome.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: You're back at The Sweet Spot.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're listening to Take Action Tuesday here on The Sweet Spot.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: We are in a wonderful series dealing with the standard.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Our standards.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: What are your standards?
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: What are your standards?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what you live by.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we live by, is our standards.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, I'm your host here on the Sweet Spot, and it's my pleasure to be your teammate in the game of life.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I'm a born-certified psychiatrist.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I work in high performance, but more than that, Sweet Spotter, I'm your teammate.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm with you in this game, and we're going for the win on Take Action Tuesday.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Today's title is Big Dreams, Lazy Habits, Apply Pressure.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you've got big dreams but your habits aren't together, you're gonna have to apply some pressure because talent means nothing without the work ethic to back it up.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's the standard we're going for today.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we have Take Action Tuesday.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday on Making Moves Monday, we talked about movement.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, we said action creates confidence, not the other way around.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to wait to be confident to get to act.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: You've gotta be action-oriented to have confidence.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Waiting on the perfect feeling keeps you stuck.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: That was Monday, Making Moves Monday.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: But today we've got to talk about what happens after you make the first move.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: After all, it is Take Action Tuesday.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: See, starting something is one thing, sweet spotter.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Staying with it when life gets inconvenient and life gets hard and life throws everything but the kitchen sink?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Life throws everything and the kitchen sink at you?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's different.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, this is where a lot of us lose ourselves quietly.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Not because we're not talented or gifted or skilled, not because we're lazy all the way through.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of the times what's going on is that our standards keep changing based on how we're feeling.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Emotions are running the show, not our standards.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And emotions and standards, as we talked about yesterday, are not the same thing.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: You see, most people think standards are beliefs.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: They're not.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: They're not.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Your standards are revealed by what you repeatedly allow to happen in your life.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: What you tolerate from yourself, what you normalize, what you keep postponing or negotiating with and compromising with.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's why inconsistency can feel so bad emotionally.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't just because the tasks aren't getting done, it's because deep down we know we're living below our standards.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Below the standards that we have already set for ourselves.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: You ever been in a situation like that where you know this is below what you want and below what you stand for?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And we're compromising here.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that kind of tension, when you live under it a long time, it can begin to wear you out.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is the week I'm gonna lock in.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, this is the time I'm gonna be serious this one time.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, I'm done playing with my potential.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And for a day or two, I'm really gonna get it done.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, yes.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then life just starts life again.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you get tired, the meeting runs long, the stress hits, you're just feeling so drained at the end of the day, so you skip the workout.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I speak to myself, the phone gets picked up and I start scrolling.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: The procrastination kicks in, and so I start talking with friends and hanging out and finding really super interesting conversations to get into rather than doing my work.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm just being real honest with you.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard, it's tough out here.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And now, guess what?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: The dangerous conversations begin to take place because the standards have been moved aside.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'll just start tomorrow.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'll just get that done next week.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Ah, one mistake, that's not gonna hurt.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I just need to get motivated again.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta find my motivation.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I s I just feel so unmotivated.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: You see, what's actually happening is your emotions are renegotiating your standards when that happens.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the real battle, sweet spotter.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's the real battle.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Here's something I've learned working with high performers.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: People usually don't lose confidence all at once.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know what happens?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: They lose trust in themselves very gradually.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of sneaky how that happens.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: One little broken promise here, one little compromise here, one little cut the corner here at a time.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why little habits matter emotionally.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you and I consistently avoid something we already know matters, our brain keeps a record, our brain keeps the score, your brain notices.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually the issue stops being productivity.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: It stops, it becomes an identity.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the issue really stops becoming about being productive and becomes an identity.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And now your nervous system starts asking, can I actually rely on myself?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Subconsciously, you start questioning whether you can really rely and trust yourself.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why some people feel mentally exhausted before the day even starts.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Too many internal negotiations have happened, too many postponed decisions, too many standards depending on your mood.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot allow your mood to determine your standards or to compromise them.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And mood is just so unstable by nature.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm one way, tomorrow I'm another way.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Forget today and tomorrow.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: It could be an hour from now.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in a completely different mood than I am right now.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I can't let my mood determine whether I'm gonna get the job done or not.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot negotiate with myself.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's why disciplined people often look so calm.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that life is easier for them, they just stop debating with themselves all day long.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: They stop negotiating with themselves, they're not twisted into a pretzel, they're not guilty, they're not trying to figure out, they're not frustrated.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And you see this in sports a lot.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Fans, you look, sometimes when you look at these elite athletes, you think they're motivated all the time.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: They're not.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: You look at an elite performer, you think she is motivated or he's motivated all the time.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're not.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: The veterans, they can wake up sore and tired and frustrated and mentally drained sometimes, just like the rest of us.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what remains for them?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Structure, discipline, treatment, film, recovery, practice, nutrition, sleep, preparation.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: They have a process lock, they lock that process in, and the process lock is just running the show.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: They have a system, they're not superheroes.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: The standards that they're living by create stability for them, and the emotions can fluctuate, but they're not gonna compromise on the standards.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you and I can do the same thing live by our standards.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because the coaches, they trust the reliable players, the ones who uh work according to the standards, not the player who's locked in only when they feel inspired.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's the player whose habits stay steady under stress.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's the guy, that's the gal, that's the player you want.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's valuable in every single arena of life.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just in sports.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: You want to be around consistently structured individuals who get it done no matter what.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's a line from Nipsey Hustle that always stayed with me that I like.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It says, The game will test you, never fold.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: The game will test you, the game of life will test you, don't fold.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's real.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I find that real.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I call that real because consistency gets tested in ordinary moments.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Consistency definitely gets tested in the ordinary moments.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's never a dramatic moment, it's always some ordinary moment where you're invited to cut the corner, to skip what you should be doing.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then you give power away when you do that, bit by bit.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And remember what our good friend Marcus Aurelius, our stoic philosopher, has always told us.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I've quoted it a thousand times here on the sweet spot.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: What do you have power over?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: You have power over your own mind, not outside events.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Life is very unpredictable.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And Marcus Aurelius understood this, and that's why he gave us that quote.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: You have power over your mind, not outside events.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's where your strength comes from.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Control the controllables.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Life is unpredictable, and guess what, sweet spotter?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna stay unpredictable.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: The deeper work is learning how not to lower your standards every time life gets uncomfortable.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I gotta really repeat that one for myself.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: The deeper work, the tougher work, the harder work is learning how not to lower standards every time life doesn't go your way.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, let's make that real today.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to think of one area of your life where you keep lowering the standard because the discomfort has shown up, because things aren't going your way.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you're involved in behaviors or activities or habits that you know aren't right.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Not the area where you talk a good game, because we all got a good game, right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I got a great game, I can talk a good game.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about the area where actions quietly have changed for you, and you know you shouldn't be there.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like you told yourself, I need to get serious about my health, but I'm not doing anything about it, right?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're saying I'm going to be more disciplined with my time and you're not doing it.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you said I'm gonna protect my peace, I'm gonna draw a boundary, draw a line, you're not doing it.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're gonna work harder in the gym, work harder at your reps, and you're eh, you're not doing it.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want you to identify.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And stop trying to overhaul it all in one moment.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Just take a step today.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Take one step today.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't create an impossible expectation.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just take one step in the right direction.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know exactly what you have to do.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to give you a thousand choices because you know you're the CEO of your life, you have a prefrontal cortex in the brain, right?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we talked about that?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: The prefrontal cortex of your brain?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's the CEO.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Check in with the CEO and see what's up.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because reality is gonna always hit.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Life is always gonna be busy, your energy is always gonna be a bit low, and there'll always be a million things going wrong, going south on you, but your standards have to be in place and sustainable.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Write down the standard that you're violating today.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the goal is not for you to become perfect, it's to just recruit uh just in put in a repeatable behavior that's different today, that's gonna move you in the direction of the standard that you have set for yourself.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your standard is when I say I'm going to train, I train.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then stop negotiating with yourself once the decision has been made.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Could it be the standard is I don't let stress destroy my sleep.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Then tonight, protect your shutdown routine like it matters.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be on the phone, I speak to myself, scrolling.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be watching TV when you know you have to wind down.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your standard is when people depend on me, I show up prepared.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: I don't let them down.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: I return phone calls, I return texts.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because your old habits will try to pull you right back to your comfort zone.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's what life does.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's normal.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain likes familiar patterns, every brain does.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It even likes the unhealthy patterns.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's why discipline often feels so uncomfortable at first.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're interrupting an established emotional rhythm, whether it's healthy or unhealthy.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: But if you stay with the new behavior, sweet builder, if you stay with it long enough, eventually the standard starts feeling natural too.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: It will kick in.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: The standard will become more of what you expect.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: But you've got to practice it.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when the real identity begins.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's when the behavior becomes a part of who you are.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care how big your dream is, big dreams without standards eventually become frustration.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because goals can sound super exciting.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know what standards are?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Repetitive and normal and ordinary.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the standards that change the lives, not that changes lives, not the um, not just having a dream.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody, anybody can be motivated temporarily.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, who are you when motivation leaves the room?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: So today, sweet spotter, you're gonna apply pressure, not fake pressure, not self-hatred, not burnout, nothing negative.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're just gonna apply the right kind of pressure to the version of you that keeps lowering the bar every time life gets uncomfortable, and you're gonna raise that bar, you're gonna set your standard, you're gonna be like Kobe Bryant, you're not gonna negotiate with yourself.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be like Michael Jackson, you're gonna start with the man in the mirror.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be like Whitney Houston.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was not built to break.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm quoting all the songs.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: That is the standard.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Find your standard today, sweet spotter.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Protect your energy, trust your work, keep building.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in you.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're awesome, you're extraordinary.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: You've got this for science, for soul, and success.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you enjoyed this, please subscribe.
• 14:10
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• 14:11
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• 14:12
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• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if you know someone who needs to take action today, because today is Take Action Tuesday, let's get it.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get it to them.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Share.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Love and blessings.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you tomorrow and keep building.