Latest / ADHD & Neurodiversity: The Spicy Brain Podcast / Ep.116 – Behind the Scenes: The Unrecorded Gems of Our ADHD Podcast

Transcript

Ep.116 – Behind the Scenes: The Unrecorded Gems of Our ADHD Podcast · ADHD & Neurodiversity: The Spicy Brain Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello,
• 0:00
  spicy
• 0:01
  brain
• 0:02
  fam.
• 0:03
  Before
• 0:03
  we
• 0:03
  jump
• 0:04
  into
• 0:04
  today's
• 0:04
  episode,
• 0:05
  I
• 0:05
  wanted
• 0:05
  to
• 0:05
  give
• 0:05
  you
• 0:06
  a
• 0:06
  little
• 0:06
  behind
• 0:06
  the
• 0:07
  scenes
• 0:07
  peek.
• 0:08
  What
• 0:08
  you're
• 0:09
  about
• 0:09
  to
• 0:09
  hear
• 0:09
  is
• 0:09
  what.
• 0:10
  Michelle
• 0:10
  and
• 0:10
  I
• 0:10
  call
• 0:11
  the
• 0:11
  pre
• 0:11
  game.
• 0:12
  It's
• 0:12
  the
• 0:12
  conversation
• 0:13
  that
• 0:13
  we
• 0:13
  have
• 0:13
  before
• 0:14
  we
• 0:14
  actually
• 0:14
  hit
• 0:15
  record
• 0:15
  on
• 0:15
  the
• 0:16
  podcast.
• 0:16
  And
• 0:16
  we
• 0:17
  thought
• 0:17
  it'd
• 0:17
  be
• 0:17
  fun
• 0:17
  to
• 0:18
  share
• 0:18
  it
• 0:18
  with
• 0:18
  you
• 0:18
  guys
• 0:19
  because
• 0:19
  honestly,
• 0:20
  some
• 0:20
  of
• 0:20
  the
• 0:21
  best
• 0:21
  stuff
• 0:21
  happens
• 0:22
  before.
• 0:22
  We're,
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  know,
• 0:23
  officially
• 0:24
  rolling.
• 0:25
  Also,
• 0:26
  we
• 0:26
  want
• 0:26
  to
• 0:26
  give
• 0:26
  a
• 0:26
  huge
• 0:27
  shout
• 0:28
  out
• 0:28
  to
• 0:28
  my
• 0:28
  nephew
• 0:29
  Josh,
• 0:29
  who
• 0:30
  just
• 0:30
  graduated
• 0:31
  from
• 0:31
  high
• 0:31
  school
• 0:31
  this
• 0:32
  past
• 0:32
  week.
• 0:35
  Good
• 0:35
  job,
• 0:35
  buddy.
• 0:36
  We're
• 0:37
  so
• 0:37
  incredibly
• 0:37
  proud
• 0:37
  of
• 0:38
  him.
• 0:38
  And
• 0:38
  between
• 0:39
  the
• 0:39
  graduation
• 0:39
  festivities
• 0:40
  and
• 0:40
  everything
• 0:41
  that
• 0:41
  comes
• 0:41
  with
• 0:41
  celebrating,
• 0:42
  you
• 0:42
  know,
• 0:42
  a
• 0:42
  major
• 0:43
  milestone
• 0:43
  like
• 0:43
  that,
• 0:44
  Michelle
• 0:44
  and
• 0:44
  I
• 0:45
  have
• 0:45
  been,
• 0:45
  like,
• 0:45
  a
• 0:45
  little
• 0:46
  busy,
• 0:46
  to
• 0:47
  say
• 0:47
  the
• 0:47
  least,
• 0:47
  but
• 0:48
  in
• 0:48
  the
• 0:48
  best
• 0:48
  possible
• 0:49
  way.
• 0:50
  So
• 0:50
  if
• 0:50
  things
• 0:50
  feel,
• 0:51
  you
• 0:51
  know,
• 0:51
  a
• 0:52
  little
• 0:52
  loose
• 0:52
  today,
• 0:53
  now,
• 0:53
  you
• 0:53
  know
• 0:53
  why.
• 0:54
  All
• 0:54
  right,
• 0:55
  with
• 0:55
  that
• 0:55
  said,
• 0:56
  enjoy
• 0:56
  the
• 0:56
  pre
• 0:57
  game.
• 0:57
  Let's
• 0:57
  get
• 0:58
  into
• 0:58
  it.
• 1:06
  Oh,
• 1:06
  how
• 1:06
  you
• 1:06
  always
• 1:06
  have
• 1:06
  the
• 1:07
  little
• 1:07
  gems.
• 1:07
  It's
• 1:08
  true,
• 1:08
  I
• 1:08
  do.
• 1:09
  So
• 1:10
  at
• 1:10
  the
• 1:10
  end
• 1:11
  of
• 1:11
  each
• 1:11
  chapter,
• 1:11
  she
• 1:12
  gives
• 1:14
  questions
• 1:15
  for
• 1:15
  self
• 1:15
  reflection,
• 1:16
  which
• 1:16
  kind
• 1:16
  of
• 1:16
  go
• 1:16
  through
• 1:17
  the
• 1:17
  different
• 1:17
  parts
• 1:18
  of
• 1:18
  the
• 1:18
  chapter.
• 1:19
  But
• 1:19
  I
• 1:19
  just
• 1:19
  wanted
• 1:20
  to,
• 1:20
  like,
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  just
• 1:22
  feel
• 1:22
  like
• 1:22
  these
• 1:22
  questions.
• 1:24
  I'm
• 1:24
  curious.
• 1:25
  This
• 1:25
  is
• 1:25
  how
• 1:26
  I
• 1:26
  should
• 1:26
  say
• 1:26
  it.
• 1:26
  Instead
• 1:27
  of
• 1:27
  being
• 1:27
  snotty,
• 1:28
  I
• 1:28
  should
• 1:28
  just
• 1:28
  be
• 1:28
  like,
• 1:29
  curious.
• 1:30
  Okay,
• 1:30
  so
• 1:30
  here's
• 1:30
  my
• 1:31
  curiosity
• 1:32
  is
• 1:32
  how
• 1:33
  all
• 1:33
  of
• 1:33
  these
• 1:33
  things
• 1:34
  go
• 1:34
  together.
• 1:35
  So
• 1:35
  we're
• 1:36
  gonna
• 1:36
  talk
• 1:36
  about
• 1:36
  this
• 1:37
  idea
• 1:37
  of
• 1:37
  reactivity
• 1:39
  and
• 1:39
  responding
• 1:40
  versus
• 1:40
  reacting.
• 1:40
  But
• 1:41
  okay,
• 1:42
  these
• 1:42
  are
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  questions
• 1:42
  she
• 1:42
  asked.
• 1:43
  Okay,
• 1:43
  so
• 1:44
  when
• 1:45
  do
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  fall
• 1:45
  into
• 1:46
  the.
• 1:46
  Why
• 1:47
  can't
• 1:47
  they
• 1:47
  just
• 1:48
  trap?
• 1:49
  Okay,
• 1:49
  that's
• 1:49
  the
• 1:50
  first
• 1:50
  question.
• 1:52
  What
• 1:52
  is
• 1:52
  the
• 1:52
  difference
• 1:53
  when
• 1:54
  you
• 1:54
  ask,
• 1:54
  is
• 1:54
  it
• 1:55
  naughty
• 1:55
  or
• 1:55
  neurological?
• 1:57
  Third
• 1:58
  question.
• 1:58
  What?
• 1:58
  Blame
• 1:59
  or
• 1:59
  shame?
• 1:59
  Are
• 1:59
  you
• 2:00
  ready
• 2:00
  to
• 2:00
  let
• 2:00
  go?
• 2:02
  And
• 2:03
  four,
• 2:03
  what
• 2:03
  behaviors
• 2:04
  would
• 2:04
  benefit
• 2:04
  from
• 2:05
  a
• 2:05
  disability
• 2:05
  perspective?
• 2:09
  So,
• 2:10
  okay,
• 2:11
  so
• 2:11
  there's
• 2:12
  why
• 2:12
  can't
• 2:12
  they
• 2:13
  just.
• 2:13
  And
• 2:14
  I
• 2:14
  guess
• 2:15
  I
• 2:15
  could
• 2:15
  see
• 2:15
  that.
• 2:16
  Why
• 2:16
  can't
• 2:16
  they
• 2:16
  just.
• 2:16
  If
• 2:17
  I
• 2:17
  have
• 2:17
  a
• 2:17
  disability
• 2:18
  perspective,
• 2:19
  it
• 2:19
  would
• 2:19
  help
• 2:20
  me
• 2:20
  to
• 2:20
  answer
• 2:20
  that
• 2:20
  question.
• 2:22
  Like,
• 2:22
  they
• 2:22
  can't.
• 2:23
  They
• 2:23
  can't
• 2:23
  because.
• 2:25
  Or
• 2:25
  right
• 2:25
  now.
• 2:26
  They
• 2:26
  can't
• 2:26
  yet
• 2:27
  because
• 2:27
  of
• 2:28
  whatever's
• 2:28
  going
• 2:28
  on.
• 2:29
  Okay,
• 2:30
  is
• 2:30
  it
• 2:30
  naughty
• 2:31
  or
• 2:31
  is
• 2:31
  it
• 2:31
  neurological?
• 2:32
  Then
• 2:32
  I
• 2:32
  guess
• 2:33
  that
• 2:33
  helps
• 2:33
  me
• 2:34
  to
• 2:34
  not
• 2:34
  put
• 2:35
  blame
• 2:35
  or
• 2:36
  shame
• 2:37
  on
• 2:37
  them
• 2:39
  for
• 2:39
  something
• 2:39
  that's
• 2:40
  neurological.
• 2:40
  That's
• 2:40
  not
• 2:41
  naughty.
• 2:41
  That's
• 2:41
  naughty.
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  don't
• 2:42
  know.
• 2:42
  I
• 2:43
  was
• 2:43
  just
• 2:43
  trying
• 2:43
  to
• 2:44
  see,
• 2:44
  like,
• 2:44
  how
• 2:44
  she
• 2:44
  connects
• 2:45
  all
• 2:45
  these
• 2:45
  things
• 2:46
  together
• 2:46
  because.
• 2:47
  So
• 2:48
  desperate.
• 2:50
  So
• 2:50
  that
• 2:50
  she's.
• 2:50
  She's
• 2:51
  got
• 2:51
  these
• 2:52
  questions
• 2:53
  to
• 2:53
  do.
• 2:53
  Like,
• 2:54
  she's
• 2:54
  asking
• 2:54
  the
• 2:54
  questions
• 2:55
  for,
• 2:55
  like,
• 2:55
  for
• 2:55
  like,
• 2:56
  you
• 2:56
  to,
• 2:56
  like,
• 2:56
  use
• 2:56
  these
• 2:57
  as.
• 2:57
  As,
• 2:57
  like,
• 2:57
  these
• 2:58
  are
• 2:58
  Questions
• 2:58
  you
• 2:58
  can
• 2:59
  have
• 2:59
  in
• 2:59
  your
• 2:59
  mind.
• 3:00
  These
• 3:00
  are
• 3:01
  self
• 3:01
  discovery.
• 3:01
  At
• 3:01
  the
• 3:02
  end
• 3:02
  of
• 3:02
  her
• 3:02
  chapters,
• 3:03
  she
• 3:03
  has
• 3:03
  like
• 3:03
  a
• 3:03
  set
• 3:03
  of
• 3:04
  questions
• 3:04
  for
• 3:04
  you
• 3:04
  to
• 3:04
  kind
• 3:04
  of
• 3:05
  reflect
• 3:05
  back.
• 3:06
  Oh,
• 3:07
  because
• 3:08
  like,
• 3:08
  is
• 3:08
  it
• 3:08
  naughty
• 3:08
  or
• 3:08
  neurological?
• 3:09
  Has,
• 3:09
  like
• 3:09
  been
• 3:09
  one
• 3:10
  of
• 3:10
  the
• 3:10
  best
• 3:11
  questions
• 3:11
  that
• 3:11
  I
• 3:12
  could
• 3:12
  ask
• 3:12
  myself.
• 3:12
  Like,
• 3:13
  that's
• 3:13
  been
• 3:13
  life
• 3:14
  changing.
• 3:14
  The
• 3:14
  best.
• 3:14
  Me
• 3:15
  too.
• 3:15
  But
• 3:15
  what
• 3:16
  was,
• 3:16
  what
• 3:16
  was
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  other
• 3:16
  one?
• 3:17
  The
• 3:18
  first
• 3:18
  one.
• 3:19
  When
• 3:20
  do
• 3:20
  you
• 3:20
  fall
• 3:21
  into
• 3:21
  the.
• 3:21
  Why
• 3:22
  can't
• 3:22
  they
• 3:23
  just
• 3:24
  trap?
• 3:24
  Like,
• 3:24
  why
• 3:25
  can't
• 3:25
  they
• 3:25
  just
• 3:25
  figure
• 3:25
  this
• 3:26
  out?
• 3:26
  Or
• 3:26
  why
• 3:26
  can't
• 3:26
  I
• 3:27
  just.
• 3:28
  Right.
• 3:28
  I
• 3:29
  mean,.
• 3:31
  Yeah,
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  could
• 3:32
  see
• 3:32
  that
• 3:32
  being
• 3:32
  like
• 3:33
  a
• 3:33
  good
• 3:34
  pre
• 3:34
  game,
• 3:35
  you
• 3:35
  know,
• 3:35
  what
• 3:36
  you
• 3:36
  might
• 3:36
  be
• 3:37
  as
• 3:37
  a
• 3:37
  parent
• 3:37
  doing.
• 3:40
  Like,
• 3:40
  if
• 3:41
  there's.
• 3:41
  Because
• 3:41
  like,
• 3:41
  I
• 3:41
  mean,
• 3:42
  for
• 3:42
  me
• 3:42
  it's
• 3:42
  like,
• 3:43
  why
• 3:43
  can't
• 3:43
  I
• 3:43
  just
• 3:43
  do
• 3:44
  the
• 3:44
  dishes?
• 3:45
  Right?
• 3:46
  Like,
• 3:46
  that's
• 3:46
  a
• 3:46
  very
• 3:47
  clear
• 3:47
  one
• 3:47
  for
• 3:47
  me.
• 3:48
  It's
• 3:48
  like,
• 3:48
  why
• 3:48
  can't
• 3:48
  I
• 3:48
  just
• 3:48
  do
• 3:49
  it?
• 3:49
  It's
• 3:49
  like,
• 3:49
  oh,
• 3:49
  because.
• 3:50
  And
• 3:50
  there's
• 3:50
  all
• 3:50
  these
• 3:50
  reasons
• 3:51
  why
• 3:51
  I
• 3:51
  can't.
• 3:52
  But
• 3:52
  like,
• 3:52
  maybe
• 3:52
  it's
• 3:53
  a,
• 3:53
  a
• 3:53
  question
• 3:53
  of
• 3:54
  like.
• 3:55
  So
• 3:55
  if
• 3:55
  I,
• 3:55
  if
• 3:55
  I
• 3:56
  think
• 3:56
  about
• 3:56
  like,
• 3:56
  okay,
• 3:59
  why
• 3:59
  can't
• 3:59
  I
• 3:59
  just
• 3:59
  do
• 3:59
  the
• 4:00
  dishes?
• 4:00
  Then
• 4:00
  that's
• 4:00
  a,
• 4:01
  then
• 4:01
  that
• 4:01
  gives
• 4:01
  me
• 4:01
  the
• 4:01
  opportunity
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  say,
• 4:02
  okay,
• 4:02
  wait,
• 4:03
  this
• 4:03
  might
• 4:03
  actually
• 4:03
  be
• 4:04
  that
• 4:04
  the
• 4:05
  dish
• 4:05
  is
• 4:05
  itself.
• 4:06
  Might
• 4:07
  not
• 4:07
  be
• 4:07
  an
• 4:07
  issue
• 4:07
  of
• 4:07
  like
• 4:08
  me
• 4:08
  not
• 4:08
  wanting
• 4:08
  to
• 4:09
  do
• 4:09
  them,
• 4:09
  but
• 4:09
  like
• 4:09
  my,
• 4:10
  my
• 4:10
  disability,
• 4:12
  like
• 4:12
  causing
• 4:14
  problems
• 4:14
  to
• 4:15
  be
• 4:15
  able
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  do
• 4:15
  it.
• 4:15
  And
• 4:15
  like,
• 4:16
  then
• 4:16
  I
• 4:16
  can
• 4:16
  look
• 4:16
  at
• 4:17
  like,
• 4:17
  okay,
• 4:17
  well,
• 4:17
  what's
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  problem?
• 4:18
  That's
• 4:19
  the
• 4:19
  only
• 4:19
  thing
• 4:19
  I
• 4:19
  can
• 4:19
  think
• 4:19
  of
• 4:20
  is
• 4:20
  that
• 4:20
  maybe
• 4:20
  it,
• 4:20
  like,
• 4:20
  it
• 4:20
  helps
• 4:21
  you
• 4:22
  if
• 4:22
  there's
• 4:22
  like
• 4:22
  something
• 4:22
  on
• 4:23
  your
• 4:23
  mind.
• 4:23
  You're
• 4:23
  like,
• 4:23
  yeah,
• 4:23
  there.
• 4:24
  It's
• 4:24
  like,
• 4:24
  it's
• 4:24
  always
• 4:25
  the
• 4:25
  problem
• 4:25
  with
• 4:26
  this
• 4:26
  specific
• 4:26
  task.
• 4:27
  It
• 4:27
  might
• 4:28
  help
• 4:29
  to,
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  like
• 4:30
  start
• 4:30
  the
• 4:31
  conversation
• 4:32
  in
• 4:32
  your
• 4:32
  own
• 4:32
  mind
• 4:32
  to.
• 4:33
  Keep
• 4:33
  yourself
• 4:33
  curious
• 4:34
  about
• 4:34
  it
• 4:34
  as
• 4:34
  opposed
• 4:35
  to
• 4:35
  just.
• 4:35
  Yeah,
• 4:36
  it's.
• 4:36
  There's
• 4:37
  nothing
• 4:37
  you
• 4:37
  can
• 4:37
  do
• 4:37
  about
• 4:38
  it.
• 4:38
  I,
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  could
• 4:38
  see
• 4:39
  like
• 4:39
  every
• 4:40
  time.
• 4:40
  I
• 4:40
  get
• 4:40
  home,
• 4:40
  like
• 4:41
  when
• 4:41
  Brian,
• 4:41
  every
• 4:41
  time
• 4:42
  he
• 4:42
  would
• 4:42
  get
• 4:42
  home,
• 4:42
  it
• 4:42
  was
• 4:43
  like,
• 4:43
  why
• 4:43
  can't
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  just,
• 4:43
  you
• 4:44
  know,
• 4:44
  not
• 4:44
  like
• 4:44
  give
• 4:44
  him
• 4:44
  some
• 4:45
  space,
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  know?
• 4:45
  And
• 4:46
  it's
• 4:46
  like,
• 4:46
  I'm
• 4:47
  sure
• 4:47
  he
• 4:47
  didn't
• 4:47
  say
• 4:47
  that,
• 4:47
  but
• 4:48
  like,
• 4:48
  you
• 4:48
  know,
• 4:49
  like
• 4:49
  then
• 4:49
  it
• 4:50
  causes
• 4:50
  like.
• 4:50
  I
• 4:50
  think
• 4:50
  there's
• 4:51
  like,
• 4:51
  if.
• 4:51
  Maybe
• 4:51
  if
• 4:51
  it's
• 4:51
  like
• 4:51
  there's
• 4:52
  these
• 4:52
  very
• 4:52
  specific
• 4:52
  things,
• 4:53
  that's
• 4:53
  what
• 4:53
  kind
• 4:53
  of
• 4:53
  what
• 4:53
  I'm
• 4:53
  thinking.
• 4:56
  Okay,
• 4:56
  so
• 4:57
  I
• 4:57
  have
• 4:58
  more
• 4:58
  questions
• 4:58
  about
• 4:58
  that,
• 4:59
  but
• 4:59
  I,
• 4:59
  I'm
• 4:59
  curious
• 5:00
  about
• 5:01
  what
• 5:01
  blame.
• 5:01
  We'll
• 5:02
  talk
• 5:02
  about
• 5:02
  that.
• 5:02
  What
• 5:03
  blame
• 5:03
  or
• 5:03
  shame
• 5:03
  are
• 5:04
  you
• 5:04
  ready
• 5:04
  to
• 5:04
  let
• 5:04
  go
• 5:05
  of?
• 5:07
  Yeah,
• 5:08
  that
• 5:08
  one's
• 5:08
  the
• 5:08
  hard
• 5:09
  one.
• 5:09
  That
• 5:09
  one's
• 5:09
  like
• 5:09
  could
• 5:09
  be
• 5:10
  its
• 5:10
  own
• 5:11
  separate
• 5:12
  podcast.
• 5:13
  Okay,.
• 5:16
  That's
• 5:16
  huge.
• 5:17
  Yeah,
• 5:18
  it
• 5:18
  is
• 5:18
  huge.
• 5:18
  Yeah.
• 5:19
  So,
• 5:20
  but
• 5:20
  how
• 5:20
  are
• 5:20
  all
• 5:20
  these
• 5:21
  connected?
• 5:21
  Like,
• 5:21
  this
• 5:22
  is
• 5:22
  the
• 5:22
  thing
• 5:22
  that
• 5:23
  in
• 5:23
  this
• 5:24
  chapter,
• 5:25
  it's
• 5:25
  interesting
• 5:25
  to
• 5:26
  me.
• 5:26
  Like,
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  was
• 5:26
  just
• 5:26
  trying
• 5:26
  to
• 5:27
  kind
• 5:27
  of
• 5:27
  like,
• 5:27
  what's
• 5:27
  the
• 5:27
  thread
• 5:28
  between
• 5:28
  it.
• 5:29
  Because
• 5:30
  it's,
• 5:30
  it's
• 5:30
  this
• 5:31
  idea
• 5:31
  of
• 5:31
  like
• 5:32
  this,
• 5:33
  why
• 5:33
  can't
• 5:34
  you
• 5:34
  just
• 5:34
  do
• 5:34
  this
• 5:34
  or
• 5:35
  that?
• 5:35
  Then
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  difference
• 5:37
  between
• 5:38
  Nadia
• 5:38
  or
• 5:38
  neurological.
• 5:39
  So
• 5:40
  that
• 5:40
  kind
• 5:40
  of
• 5:41
  answers
• 5:41
  the.
• 5:43
  Sometimes
• 5:44
  I
• 5:44
  guess
• 5:44
  the
• 5:44
  why
• 5:45
  can't
• 5:45
  you
• 5:45
  just.
• 5:46
  I
• 5:46
  don't
• 5:46
  think
• 5:46
  it
• 5:46
  answers
• 5:46
  it,
• 5:47
  but
• 5:47
  it
• 5:47
  helps
• 5:47
  you
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  maybe
• 5:48
  not
• 5:49
  ask
• 5:50
  it
• 5:50
  that
• 5:50
  way.
• 5:52
  You
• 5:52
  know,
• 5:52
  like,
• 5:53
  maybe
• 5:53
  I
• 5:53
  think
• 5:53
  that's
• 5:54
  even
• 5:54
  a
• 5:54
  good
• 5:54
  question.
• 5:55
  Why
• 5:55
  can't
• 5:55
  you
• 5:55
  justice
• 5:56
  in
• 5:56
  a
• 5:56
  good
• 5:56
  question,
• 5:57
  you
• 5:57
  know?
• 5:58
  Well,
• 5:58
  I
• 5:59
  think
• 5:59
  that
• 5:59
  the
• 5:59
  why
• 6:00
  can't
• 6:00
  you
• 6:00
  just
• 6:00
  is.
• 6:01
  Is
• 6:01
  like,
• 6:02
  so.
• 6:02
  Okay,
• 6:04
  let
• 6:04
  me
• 6:04
  back
• 6:04
  up.
• 6:05
  I'm
• 6:06
  seeing
• 6:06
  this
• 6:06
  as
• 6:07
  the
• 6:07
  ABCs
• 6:08
  that
• 6:08
  they
• 6:09
  talk
• 6:09
  about
• 6:09
  in,
• 6:11
  in
• 6:12
  like
• 6:12
  the
• 6:12
  military
• 6:14
  learning
• 6:15
  to
• 6:15
  like
• 6:15
  take
• 6:15
  care
• 6:16
  of
• 6:16
  yourself,
• 6:17
  self
• 6:17
  care
• 6:18
  kind
• 6:18
  of
• 6:18
  thing
• 6:18
  where
• 6:18
  it's
• 6:19
  like,
• 6:19
  you
• 6:19
  can't,
• 6:21
  you
• 6:21
  can't.
• 6:25
  You,
• 6:25
  you.
• 6:25
  Okay,
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  can't
• 6:28
  change
• 6:28
  your
• 6:29
  first
• 6:29
  reaction.
• 6:30
  Like,
• 6:30
  your
• 6:30
  first,
• 6:30
  your
• 6:31
  initial
• 6:31
  reaction
• 6:32
  is
• 6:32
  unconscious.
• 6:34
  And
• 6:34
  then
• 6:36
  you
• 6:36
  can
• 6:36
  take
• 6:36
  a
• 6:37
  second,
• 6:38
  which
• 6:38
  is
• 6:38
  like,
• 6:39
  so
• 6:39
  A
• 6:39
  is
• 6:39
  your
• 6:39
  first
• 6:39
  reaction.
• 6:40
  You
• 6:40
  can't
• 6:40
  do
• 6:40
  that.
• 6:41
  B
• 6:41
  is
• 6:42
  like
• 6:42
  you
• 6:42
  taking
• 6:42
  a
• 6:43
  second
• 6:44
  to
• 6:44
  like
• 6:44
  think
• 6:45
  about
• 6:45
  it.
• 6:45
  And
• 6:45
  then
• 6:45
  C
• 6:46
  is
• 6:46
  the,
• 6:47
  is
• 6:47
  the,
• 6:48
  is
• 6:48
  your
• 6:49
  second
• 6:49
  reaction.
• 6:51
  So
• 6:51
  does
• 6:51
  that
• 6:52
  align
• 6:52
  with
• 6:52
  it?
• 6:52
  Like
• 6:52
  your
• 6:53
  first
• 6:53
  reaction
• 6:53
  is,
• 6:53
  why
• 6:54
  can't
• 6:54
  they
• 6:54
  just.
• 6:54
  And
• 6:55
  that's
• 6:55
  perfectly
• 6:55
  valid
• 6:56
  and
• 6:56
  normal.
• 6:56
  And
• 6:56
  like,
• 6:57
  okay,
• 6:57
  then
• 6:58
  you
• 6:58
  take
• 6:58
  the
• 6:58
  second
• 6:59
  to
• 6:59
  think
• 6:59
  of
• 6:59
  why
• 6:59
  is
• 6:59
  it
• 6:59
  naughty
• 7:00
  or
• 7:00
  neurological
• 7:01
  or
• 7:01
  is
• 7:01
  it.
• 7:02
  And
• 7:03
  then
• 7:03
  what's
• 7:03
  the
• 7:03
  last
• 7:04
  one?
• 7:06
  Well,
• 7:06
  they're
• 7:06
  talking
• 7:07
  about
• 7:07
  blame
• 7:07
  or
• 7:07
  shame
• 7:08
  or
• 7:09
  disability
• 7:10
  perspective.
• 7:11
  Right?
• 7:11
  Like
• 7:11
  looking
• 7:11
  at
• 7:11
  the
• 7:12
  disability
• 7:12
  perspective
• 7:13
  of
• 7:13
  it
• 7:13
  all.
• 7:13
  Yeah,
• 7:13
  it's
• 7:14
  like,
• 7:14
  okay,
• 7:14
  so
• 7:14
  like
• 7:15
  my,
• 7:15
  my
• 7:15
  initial.
• 7:15
  So
• 7:16
  that's
• 7:16
  what
• 7:16
  I'm
• 7:16
  kind
• 7:16
  of
• 7:16
  thinking
• 7:16
  is
• 7:17
  like
• 7:17
  my
• 7:17
  initial
• 7:17
  thought
• 7:18
  is,
• 7:19
  why
• 7:19
  can't
• 7:20
  they
• 7:20
  adjust?
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  don't
• 7:21
  have
• 7:21
  control
• 7:21
  of
• 7:21
  that.
• 7:21
  That's
• 7:22
  just
• 7:22
  going
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  be
• 7:22
  an
• 7:22
  initial
• 7:22
  reaction.
• 7:23
  Fine.
• 7:24
  But
• 7:24
  then
• 7:25
  don't
• 7:25
  blame
• 7:26
  yourself
• 7:26
  for
• 7:26
  it.
• 7:27
  Don't
• 7:27
  blame
• 7:27
  yourself
• 7:27
  for
• 7:28
  it.
• 7:28
  And
• 7:28
  also
• 7:28
  don't
• 7:29
  blame
• 7:29
  them
• 7:29
  for
• 7:29
  it.
• 7:29
  Figure
• 7:30
  out
• 7:30
  is
• 7:30
  it
• 7:30
  naughty
• 7:30
  or
• 7:30
  neurological.
• 7:31
  So
• 7:31
  we're
• 7:31
  not
• 7:31
  blaming
• 7:32
  them
• 7:32
  or
• 7:33
  me.
• 7:33
  Which
• 7:34
  then
• 7:34
  leads
• 7:34
  us
• 7:34
  to,
• 7:35
  to
• 7:37
  let's
• 7:37
  look
• 7:37
  at
• 7:37
  this
• 7:38
  from
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  disability
• 7:38
  perspective
• 7:39
  and
• 7:39
  then
• 7:40
  have
• 7:40
  that
• 7:40
  second
• 7:40
  reaction
• 7:41
  be,
• 7:41
  okay,
• 7:43
  they
• 7:43
  can't
• 7:44
  just
• 7:44
  yet
• 7:44
  or
• 7:45
  they
• 7:45
  may
• 7:45
  never.
• 7:47
  Yeah,
• 7:48
  that's
• 7:48
  interesting.
• 7:48
  And
• 7:49
  I
• 7:49
  think.
• 7:49
  Does
• 7:49
  that
• 7:49
  check?
• 7:50
  It
• 7:50
  kind
• 7:50
  of
• 7:50
  does,
• 7:51
  actually.
• 7:51
  That
• 7:51
  makes
• 7:51
  sense
• 7:52
  to
• 7:52
  me
• 7:52
  more.
• 7:52
  And
• 7:52
  I
• 7:53
  think
• 7:53
  also
• 7:54
  when
• 7:55
  you're
• 7:55
  asking
• 7:55
  the
• 7:56
  question
• 7:56
  of
• 7:56
  Nadia
• 7:56
  or
• 7:56
  Neurological.
• 7:57
  What
• 7:57
  it
• 7:57
  makes
• 7:57
  me
• 7:58
  think
• 7:58
  of
• 7:58
  is
• 7:58
  you're
• 7:59
  also
• 7:59
  layering
• 7:59
  on
• 8:00
  the
• 8:00
  disability
• 8:01
  perspective
• 8:02
  to
• 8:02
  that.
• 8:03
  You
• 8:03
  know,
• 8:03
  like
• 8:05
  if,
• 8:05
  if
• 8:05
  you
• 8:05
  don't,
• 8:06
  if
• 8:06
  you're
• 8:06
  not
• 8:06
  sure,
• 8:07
  then
• 8:07
  you
• 8:07
  have
• 8:07
  to
• 8:07
  understand
• 8:08
  what
• 8:08
  your
• 8:09
  kids
• 8:09
  or
• 8:09
  your
• 8:10
  just
• 8:10
  your,
• 8:11
  you
• 8:12
  know,
• 8:12
  issues
• 8:12
  are.
• 8:13
  Right?
• 8:13
  And
• 8:13
  so
• 8:13
  then
• 8:14
  you
• 8:14
  can
• 8:14
  really
• 8:14
  determine,
• 8:15
  is
• 8:16
  this
• 8:16
  neurological
• 8:17
  or
• 8:17
  is
• 8:17
  it
• 8:17
  something
• 8:17
  like.
• 8:18
  I'm
• 8:18
  trying,
• 8:19
  you
• 8:19
  know,
• 8:19
  they're,
• 8:19
  they're
• 8:20
  willfully
• 8:21
  trying
• 8:22
  to
• 8:22
  do
• 8:22
  this
• 8:22
  thing.
• 8:23
  Because
• 8:23
  sometimes
• 8:23
  that's
• 8:23
  true
• 8:24
  when
• 8:24
  they're
• 8:24
  teenagers.
• 8:25
  Like,
• 8:25
  there's.
• 8:26
  Yeah,
• 8:26
  there's
• 8:26
  things,
• 8:26
  right?
• 8:27
  You're
• 8:27
  like,
• 8:27
  well,
• 8:27
  that's
• 8:28
  not
• 8:28
  because
• 8:28
  of
• 8:28
  that.
• 8:29
  That's
• 8:29
  because
• 8:29
  of
• 8:29
  this.
• 8:30
  That's
• 8:30
  because
• 8:30
  they're
• 8:30
  so
• 8:30
  teenagers.
• 8:31
  Yeah,
• 8:32
  maybe
• 8:32
  so.
• 8:33
  Or.
• 8:33
  But
• 8:33
  still,
• 8:34
  even
• 8:34
  with
• 8:34
  that,
• 8:35
  sometimes
• 8:36
  it's.
• 8:37
  It's
• 8:37
  still
• 8:37
  neurological,
• 8:38
  you
• 8:39
  know?
• 8:39
  So
• 8:40
  anyway,
• 8:41
  I
• 8:41
  thought
• 8:41
  that
• 8:41
  was
• 8:41
  interesting.
• 8:42
  I.
• 8:42
  Okay,
• 8:43
  so
• 8:43
  what
• 8:43
  I
• 8:43
  like
• 8:43
  about
• 8:44
  the
• 8:44
  ABC
• 8:44
  thing
• 8:44
  you
• 8:45
  just
• 8:45
  said
• 8:45
  in
• 8:45
  the
• 8:45
  pre
• 8:45
  game
• 8:46
  context
• 8:46
  of
• 8:47
  what
• 8:47
  we're
• 8:47
  doing
• 8:48
  is
• 8:48
  our
• 8:49
  next
• 8:49
  one
• 8:49
  is
• 8:50
  really
• 8:51
  about
• 8:53
  the
• 8:54
  next
• 8:54
  part
• 8:54
  of
• 8:54
  this
• 8:55
  is
• 8:55
  about
• 8:55
  responding
• 8:56
  instead
• 8:56
  of
• 8:56
  reacting.
• 8:58
  And
• 9:00
  she
• 9:00
  said
• 9:01
  when
• 9:01
  people
• 9:01
  recognize
• 9:02
  they
• 9:02
  need
• 9:02
  to
• 9:02
  calm
• 9:03
  themselves
• 9:03
  down,
• 9:04
  that
• 9:04
  equals
• 9:04
  healthy
• 9:05
  response.
• 9:06
  Like
• 9:06
  if,
• 9:06
  you
• 9:07
  know,
• 9:07
  you're
• 9:08
  out
• 9:08
  of
• 9:08
  control
• 9:08
  and
• 9:08
  like,
• 9:09
  give
• 9:09
  me
• 9:09
  five
• 9:09
  minutes
• 9:09
  and
• 9:09
  I'll
• 9:10
  come
• 9:10
  back,
• 9:10
  that's
• 9:10
  like
• 9:11
  a
• 9:11
  really
• 9:11
  healthy
• 9:11
  response.
• 9:12
  And
• 9:13
  her
• 9:13
  example
• 9:13
  was,
• 9:14
  I
• 9:14
  don't
• 9:14
  know
• 9:14
  if
• 9:14
  you
• 9:15
  remember
• 9:15
  from
• 9:15
  the
• 9:15
  movie
• 9:16
  Inside
• 9:16
  Out.
• 9:17
  I
• 9:17
  think
• 9:17
  it
• 9:17
  was
• 9:17
  the
• 9:17
  first
• 9:18
  one.
• 9:18
  And
• 9:19
  they're
• 9:19
  sitting
• 9:19
  at
• 9:19
  the
• 9:20
  dinner
• 9:20
  table
• 9:20
  and
• 9:20
  it's
• 9:20
  the
• 9:21
  parents
• 9:21
  and
• 9:21
  the
• 9:22
  teenager
• 9:22
  and
• 9:22
  she
• 9:22
  just.
• 9:23
  It's
• 9:23
  like
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  day
• 9:24
  she
• 9:24
  turns
• 9:25
  from
• 9:25
  being
• 9:25
  like
• 9:25
  the
• 9:25
  cute
• 9:26
  kid
• 9:26
  who's
• 9:26
  doing
• 9:27
  hockey
• 9:27
  and
• 9:27
  happy
• 9:28
  about
• 9:28
  everything
• 9:28
  to
• 9:28
  like
• 9:29
  getting
• 9:29
  pimples
• 9:30
  and
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  know,
• 9:30
  the,
• 9:31
  the
• 9:31
  hormones
• 9:31
  turn
• 9:32
  on.
• 9:32
  Right?
• 9:32
  And
• 9:32
  so
• 9:32
  maybe
• 9:33
  it's
• 9:33
  the
• 9:33
  second
• 9:33
  one.
• 9:34
  Is
• 9:35
  it
• 9:35
  the
• 9:35
  second
• 9:35
  one?
• 9:35
  I
• 9:36
  don't
• 9:36
  know.
• 9:36
  Anyway,
• 9:37
  the
• 9:38
  movie.
• 9:38
  Yeah,
• 9:38
  it's
• 9:39
  the
• 9:39
  second
• 9:39
  one
• 9:39
  where
• 9:39
  she
• 9:39
  gets.
• 9:40
  Becomes
• 9:40
  pimples.
• 9:40
  Yeah,
• 9:41
  yeah,
• 9:41
  yeah,
• 9:41
  yeah.
• 9:41
  But
• 9:42
  they're
• 9:42
  sitting
• 9:43
  at
• 9:43
  the
• 9:43
  dinner
• 9:43
  table
• 9:43
  and
• 9:44
  she's
• 9:44
  like.
• 9:45
  Loses
• 9:46
  her
• 9:46
  mind,
• 9:46
  right,
• 9:47
  about
• 9:47
  something.
• 9:47
  And
• 9:48
  then
• 9:48
  the
• 9:48
  dad
• 9:48
  loses
• 9:49
  his
• 9:49
  mind.
• 9:50
  And
• 9:51
  they
• 9:51
  were
• 9:51
  saying
• 9:51
  it's
• 9:52
  like
• 9:52
  one
• 9:52
  of
• 9:52
  the
• 9:52
  more
• 9:53
  impactful
• 9:54
  scenes
• 9:55
  of
• 9:55
  a
• 9:55
  real
• 9:56
  life
• 9:56
  situation
• 9:56
  that
• 9:57
  happens
• 9:57
  a
• 9:57
  lot.
• 9:58
  Right.
• 9:58
  And
• 9:59
  this
• 9:59
  is.
• 9:59
  I
• 9:59
  mean,
• 9:59
  Josh
• 10:00
  and
• 10:00
  I
• 10:00
  had
• 10:00
  this
• 10:00
  happen
• 10:01
  the
• 10:01
  other
• 10:01
  day.
• 10:01
  So
• 10:01
  it's
• 10:01
  like
• 10:02
  completely
• 10:03
  there,
• 10:03
  but
• 10:04
  this
• 10:04
  idea
• 10:05
  that
• 10:05
  he
• 10:06
  was
• 10:06
  not
• 10:06
  able
• 10:07
  to.
• 10:09
  He
• 10:09
  didn't
• 10:09
  realize
• 10:10
  that
• 10:10
  she
• 10:10
  was
• 10:10
  having
• 10:11
  trouble
• 10:11
  getting
• 10:11
  a
• 10:11
  hold
• 10:12
  of
• 10:12
  her
• 10:12
  emotions,
• 10:13
  that
• 10:13
  she
• 10:13
  had
• 10:13
  all
• 10:13
  these
• 10:14
  complex
• 10:14
  emotions
• 10:14
  that
• 10:14
  were
• 10:15
  coming
• 10:15
  up.
• 10:15
  And
• 10:15
  he
• 10:15
  didn't
• 10:16
  quite
• 10:16
  realize
• 10:16
  that.
• 10:17
  So
• 10:17
  he
• 10:17
  was
• 10:18
  reacting
• 10:18
  to
• 10:18
  what
• 10:19
  he
• 10:19
  was
• 10:19
  seeing,
• 10:19
  but
• 10:19
  he
• 10:19
  wasn't
• 10:20
  responding
• 10:20
  to
• 10:20
  what
• 10:21
  was
• 10:21
  happening.
• 10:22
  Right.
• 10:23
  Like
• 10:23
  he
• 10:23
  go,
• 10:23
  he
• 10:24
  gets
• 10:24
  something
• 10:24
  thrown
• 10:25
  at
• 10:25
  him,
• 10:25
  he
• 10:25
  throws
• 10:25
  it
• 10:25
  back.
• 10:26
  And
• 10:26
  so
• 10:27
  his
• 10:27
  reactivity
• 10:28
  prevented,
• 10:29
  she
• 10:29
  says,
• 10:29
  like
• 10:29
  anyone
• 10:30
  else
• 10:30
  from
• 10:30
  having
• 10:30
  a
• 10:30
  different
• 10:32
  reaction,
• 10:32
  right.
• 10:32
  He's
• 10:33
  like,
• 10:33
  go
• 10:33
  to
• 10:33
  your
• 10:33
  room,
• 10:34
  you
• 10:34
  know,
• 10:34
  and
• 10:35
  that
• 10:35
  just
• 10:35
  escalates
• 10:36
  it.
• 10:37
  And
• 10:37
  then
• 10:37
  there's
• 10:38
  kind
• 10:38
  of
• 10:38
  no
• 10:38
  coming
• 10:38
  down
• 10:39
  from
• 10:39
  that.
• 10:39
  So
• 10:40
  at
• 10:40
  that
• 10:40
  moment,
• 10:42
  so
• 10:42
  she's
• 10:43
  like,
• 10:43
  you
• 10:43
  can't
• 10:44
  control
• 10:44
  what
• 10:44
  happens,
• 10:45
  you
• 10:45
  can
• 10:45
  only
• 10:45
  respond.
• 10:47
  And
• 10:49
  it
• 10:49
  was
• 10:49
  interesting.
• 10:50
  She
• 10:50
  said
• 10:50
  like
• 10:51
  when
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  enter
• 10:51
  into
• 10:52
  conversation
• 10:52
  with
• 10:52
  yourself,
• 10:53
  you
• 10:53
  can
• 10:53
  start
• 10:53
  to
• 10:53
  get
• 10:53
  a
• 10:54
  handle
• 10:54
  on
• 10:54
  your
• 10:54
  own
• 10:55
  reactivity.
• 10:56
  Like
• 10:56
  coach
• 10:57
  yourself
• 10:57
  what
• 10:57
  are
• 10:58
  your
• 10:58
  key
• 10:58
  triggers?
• 10:59
  Identify
• 10:59
  what
• 10:59
  pushes
• 11:00
  your
• 11:00
  buttons.
• 11:00
  If
• 11:01
  things
• 11:01
  are
• 11:01
  rushed
• 11:01
  or
• 11:02
  late
• 11:02
  or
• 11:03
  kids
• 11:03
  talking
• 11:04
  back
• 11:04
  or
• 11:04
  just
• 11:04
  like,
• 11:05
  what
• 11:05
  are
• 11:05
  the
• 11:05
  things
• 11:05
  that
• 11:05
  trigger
• 11:06
  you?
• 11:07
  She
• 11:07
  then
• 11:08
  looked
• 11:08
  at
• 11:08
  like
• 11:09
  what
• 11:09
  are
• 11:09
  the
• 11:09
  feelings
• 11:10
  behind
• 11:11
  the
• 11:11
  trigger?
• 11:13
  So
• 11:13
  for
• 11:13
  example,
• 11:13
  like
• 11:14
  you're
• 11:14
  gonna
• 11:14
  look
• 11:14
  at
• 11:14
  the
• 11:15
  parent
• 11:15
  portal
• 11:15
  and
• 11:15
  you're
• 11:15
  about
• 11:16
  to
• 11:16
  look
• 11:17
  at
• 11:17
  your
• 11:17
  kids
• 11:17
  grades
• 11:18
  and
• 11:18
  you're
• 11:19
  already
• 11:19
  starting
• 11:20
  like
• 11:20
  before
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  even
• 11:21
  get
• 11:21
  there.
• 11:22
  There's
• 11:22
  some
• 11:23
  feelings
• 11:23
  that
• 11:23
  are
• 11:24
  happening
• 11:24
  that
• 11:24
  are
• 11:24
  gonna
• 11:25
  like
• 11:25
  be
• 11:25
  behind
• 11:25
  whatever's
• 11:26
  gonna
• 11:26
  trigger
• 11:26
  you.
• 11:27
  Right.
• 11:27
  So
• 11:27
  it's
• 11:27
  like
• 11:28
  she
• 11:28
  says,
• 11:28
  for
• 11:29
  example,
• 11:29
  guilt,
• 11:29
  frustration,
• 11:30
  overwhelm.
• 11:31
  And
• 11:31
  you're
• 11:32
  thinking
• 11:32
  in
• 11:32
  your
• 11:32
  mind,
• 11:32
  you're
• 11:33
  telling
• 11:33
  your
• 11:33
  this
• 11:33
  story
• 11:34
  like
• 11:34
  he's
• 11:34
  probably
• 11:35
  gonna
• 11:35
  have
• 11:35
  17
• 11:35
  missing
• 11:36
  assignments.
• 11:36
  I
• 11:36
  should
• 11:36
  have
• 11:37
  been
• 11:37
  more
• 11:37
  on
• 11:37
  top
• 11:37
  of
• 11:37
  it.
• 11:38
  And
• 11:38
  so
• 11:39
  then
• 11:39
  now
• 11:40
  all
• 11:40
  of
• 11:40
  a
• 11:40
  sudden
• 11:40
  like
• 11:40
  you've
• 11:41
  got
• 11:41
  all
• 11:41
  this
• 11:41
  rush
• 11:41
  of
• 11:41
  feelings
• 11:42
  and
• 11:43
  storytelling.
• 11:44
  You're
• 11:44
  sort
• 11:44
  of
• 11:44
  telling
• 11:44
  yourself
• 11:45
  and
• 11:45
  so
• 11:46
  then
• 11:46
  you
• 11:47
  look
• 11:47
  at
• 11:47
  it
• 11:47
  and
• 11:47
  then
• 11:48
  you
• 11:48
  blow
• 11:49
  up.
• 11:49
  Because
• 11:50
  all
• 11:50
  of
• 11:50
  this
• 11:51
  is
• 11:51
  already
• 11:51
  kind
• 11:51
  of
• 11:52
  pre
• 11:53
  set
• 11:54
  right
• 11:55
  in
• 11:55
  your
• 11:55
  mind.
• 11:55
  Yeah.
• 11:56
  You've
• 11:56
  prepared
• 11:56
  yourself
• 11:57
  to,
• 11:58
  you've
• 11:58
  made
• 11:58
  that
• 11:59
  neurological
• 12:01
  path.
• 12:02
  Well
• 12:02
  no,
• 12:02
  you've
• 12:02
  like
• 12:03
  even
• 12:03
  grained
• 12:03
  this
• 12:04
  like
• 12:04
  you
• 12:04
  know,
• 12:04
  neuron
• 12:05
  path
• 12:05
  and
• 12:05
  it's
• 12:05
  like
• 12:06
  that's
• 12:06
  what's
• 12:06
  going
• 12:06
  to
• 12:06
  happen.
• 12:07
  It's
• 12:07
  a
• 12:07
  self
• 12:07
  influence.
• 12:08
  As
• 12:08
  soon
• 12:08
  as
• 12:09
  you
• 12:09
  open
• 12:09
  the
• 12:09
  portal,
• 12:09
  like
• 12:10
  as
• 12:10
  soon
• 12:10
  as
• 12:10
  you
• 12:10
  go
• 12:10
  to
• 12:10
  say
• 12:10
  I'm
• 12:11
  going
• 12:11
  to
• 12:11
  check
• 12:11
  the
• 12:11
  portal,
• 12:11
  like
• 12:12
  this
• 12:12
  is
• 12:12
  already
• 12:12
  there.
• 12:13
  And
• 12:13
  then
• 12:14
  like
• 12:15
  you
• 12:15
  hate
• 12:16
  being
• 12:16
  late
• 12:18
  and
• 12:18
  like
• 12:19
  you
• 12:20
  might
• 12:20
  have
• 12:21
  issues
• 12:21
  around
• 12:22
  thinking
• 12:22
  like
• 12:22
  okay,
• 12:22
  the
• 12:22
  teacher's
• 12:23
  going
• 12:23
  to
• 12:23
  think,
• 12:23
  I
• 12:23
  don't
• 12:23
  care
• 12:24
  because
• 12:24
  we're
• 12:24
  late
• 12:25
  or
• 12:25
  the,
• 12:26
  you
• 12:26
  know,
• 12:26
  late
• 12:26
  to
• 12:26
  a
• 12:27
  parent
• 12:27
  conference
• 12:27
  or
• 12:27
  something.
• 12:28
  You
• 12:29
  really
• 12:29
  want
• 12:29
  your
• 12:29
  child
• 12:29
  to
• 12:30
  learn
• 12:30
  from
• 12:30
  you.
• 12:30
  But
• 12:31
  their
• 12:32
  response
• 12:32
  is
• 12:32
  such
• 12:33
  that
• 12:33
  you're
• 12:33
  feeling
• 12:33
  like
• 12:34
  they
• 12:34
  have
• 12:34
  no
• 12:34
  respect
• 12:35
  for
• 12:35
  you.
• 12:36
  So
• 12:36
  you're
• 12:36
  telling
• 12:36
  yourself
• 12:37
  a
• 12:37
  story
• 12:38
  in
• 12:38
  addition
• 12:39
  to
• 12:39
  whatever
• 12:40
  else
• 12:40
  is
• 12:40
  going,
• 12:41
  actually
• 12:41
  going
• 12:42
  on.
• 12:43
  And
• 12:43
  what
• 12:44
  was
• 12:44
  interesting
• 12:44
  with
• 12:45
  this
• 12:45
  to
• 12:46
  me
• 12:46
  is
• 12:46
  that
• 12:46
  she's
• 12:46
  like,
• 12:47
  so
• 12:48
  what
• 12:48
  are
• 12:48
  more
• 12:49
  supportive
• 12:49
  thoughts
• 12:50
  you
• 12:50
  could
• 12:50
  have?
• 12:52
  She's
• 12:52
  like,
• 12:52
  there
• 12:52
  might
• 12:53
  be
• 12:53
  some
• 12:53
  truths
• 12:53
  into
• 12:54
  truth
• 12:54
  into
• 12:55
  what
• 12:55
  you're
• 12:55
  thinking
• 12:56
  is
• 12:56
  happening,
• 12:57
  but
• 12:59
  it's
• 12:59
  maybe
• 13:00
  out
• 13:00
  of
• 13:00
  proportion
• 13:01
  or
• 13:01
  distorted
• 13:02
  by
• 13:03
  our
• 13:03
  own
• 13:04
  internal
• 13:04
  kind
• 13:04
  of
• 13:04
  gremlins.
• 13:05
  The,
• 13:05
  The
• 13:07
  HOA
• 13:08
  lady,
• 13:08
  the,
• 13:09
  you
• 13:09
  know,
• 13:10
  the
• 13:11
  drill
• 13:11
  sergeant.
• 13:13
  So
• 13:13
  she's
• 13:14
  like,
• 13:14
  choose
• 13:15
  a
• 13:15
  more
• 13:15
  helpful,
• 13:16
  supportive
• 13:16
  message
• 13:17
  that
• 13:17
  helps
• 13:17
  you
• 13:17
  calm
• 13:17
  down.
• 13:18
  Which
• 13:18
  was
• 13:18
  funny
• 13:19
  to
• 13:19
  me
• 13:19
  because
• 13:19
  I
• 13:19
  was
• 13:19
  like,
• 13:19
  there.
• 13:20
  She
• 13:20
  had
• 13:20
  no
• 13:20
  suggestion
• 13:20
  of
• 13:21
  what
• 13:21
  those
• 13:21
  were.
• 13:22
  I
• 13:22
  know,
• 13:22
  but,
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  know,
• 13:23
  I
• 13:23
  was
• 13:24
  like,
• 13:24
  okay.
• 13:25
  So
• 13:25
  she's
• 13:25
  like,
• 13:25
  once
• 13:26
  you
• 13:26
  start
• 13:26
  to
• 13:26
  manage
• 13:26
  your
• 13:26
  own
• 13:27
  reactivity,
• 13:27
  you'll
• 13:28
  help
• 13:28
  your
• 13:28
  kids
• 13:28
  do
• 13:29
  the
• 13:29
  same.
• 13:31
  You
• 13:32
  can't
• 13:32
  stop
• 13:32
  them
• 13:32
  from
• 13:32
  being
• 13:33
  triggered,
• 13:33
  but
• 13:33
  you
• 13:33
  can
• 13:34
  stop.
• 13:34
  Can
• 13:35
  reduce
• 13:35
  the
• 13:35
  intensity,
• 13:36
  reduce
• 13:36
  the
• 13:36
  frequency.
• 13:37
  And
• 13:38
  then
• 13:38
  this.
• 13:38
  I
• 13:38
  did,
• 13:38
  like,
• 13:39
  a
• 13:39
  lot.
• 13:39
  She
• 13:39
  said,
• 13:40
  if
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  expectation
• 13:41
  is
• 13:41
  that
• 13:41
  everyone
• 13:42
  will
• 13:42
  lose
• 13:42
  it
• 13:42
  occasionally
• 13:43
  in
• 13:43
  your
• 13:44
  family,
• 13:45
  right.
• 13:47
  In
• 13:47
  your
• 13:47
  world,
• 13:48
  then.
• 13:48
  And
• 13:48
  everyone
• 13:49
  has
• 13:49
  to
• 13:49
  work
• 13:49
  to
• 13:49
  get
• 13:50
  a
• 13:50
  handle
• 13:50
  on
• 13:50
  it,
• 13:50
  then
• 13:51
  it
• 13:51
  becomes
• 13:51
  a
• 13:51
  partnership.
• 13:52
  And
• 13:53
  I
• 13:53
  liked
• 13:53
  that
• 13:54
  phrasing
• 13:54
  of
• 13:54
  like,
• 13:54
  it's
• 13:55
  a
• 13:55
  partnership
• 13:55
  in
• 13:55
  our
• 13:56
  reactivity.
• 13:57
  But
• 13:57
  this
• 13:57
  idea
• 13:58
  that
• 13:59
  give
• 13:59
  me
• 14:00
  five.
• 14:00
  Minutes
• 14:00
  and
• 14:00
  I'll
• 14:00
  come
• 14:01
  back,
• 14:01
  that's
• 14:02
  Allows
• 14:02
  for
• 14:05
  repair.
• 14:06
  Huh.
• 14:07
  And
• 14:07
  that,
• 14:07
  like,
• 14:07
  we're
• 14:07
  all
• 14:08
  gonna,
• 14:08
  like,
• 14:08
  you
• 14:08
  know,
• 14:08
  there's
• 14:09
  gonna
• 14:09
  be
• 14:09
  times,
• 14:09
  like,
• 14:09
  where
• 14:09
  we
• 14:09
  can't.
• 14:10
  You
• 14:10
  can't
• 14:10
  help
• 14:10
  it.
• 14:10
  Like,
• 14:11
  you're
• 14:11
  never
• 14:11
  gonna
• 14:11
  be
• 14:11
  perfect
• 14:12
  all
• 14:12
  the
• 14:12
  time.
• 14:12
  I
• 14:12
  think
• 14:12
  that's
• 14:13
  the
• 14:13
  thing
• 14:13
  is,
• 14:13
  like,
• 14:13
  she's
• 14:14
  got
• 14:14
  these
• 14:14
  great
• 14:14
  ideas,
• 14:15
  but
• 14:15
  I
• 14:15
  love
• 14:16
  that
• 14:16
  idea
• 14:16
  of
• 14:16
  like,
• 14:16
  hey,
• 14:17
  we're
• 14:17
  all
• 14:17
  gonna
• 14:17
  help
• 14:17
  each
• 14:17
  other.
• 14:18
  That's.
• 14:18
  That,
• 14:19
  like,
• 14:19
  is.
• 14:19
  That's
• 14:20
  super
• 14:20
  genius.
• 14:22
  She
• 14:22
  was
• 14:22
  quoting
• 14:22
  Dr.
• 14:23
  Russell
• 14:23
  Barkley,
• 14:24
  who
• 14:24
  we
• 14:24
  read,
• 14:25
  I
• 14:25
  think
• 14:25
  his
• 14:25
  original
• 14:27
  piece
• 14:27
  on
• 14:28
  adhd,
• 14:29
  but
• 14:29
  his.
• 14:30
  His
• 14:30
  research
• 14:31
  has
• 14:31
  shown
• 14:32
  that
• 14:32
  adults
• 14:32
  with
• 14:32
  ADHD
• 14:34
  are
• 14:34
  more
• 14:34
  likely
• 14:34
  to
• 14:35
  lose
• 14:35
  jobs
• 14:35
  for
• 14:35
  losing
• 14:36
  their
• 14:36
  temper
• 14:37
  than
• 14:37
  not
• 14:37
  turning
• 14:37
  in
• 14:38
  a
• 14:38
  project.
• 14:39
  Yeah,
• 14:39
  it's
• 14:39
  true.
• 14:40
  I
• 14:40
  do
• 14:40
  have
• 14:41
  trouble
• 14:41
  with
• 14:41
  my
• 14:41
  temper.
• 14:41
  And
• 14:42
  like,
• 14:42
  I
• 14:42
  have
• 14:42
  trouble
• 14:42
  with
• 14:43
  negative
• 14:44
  when
• 14:44
  we're
• 14:44
  talking
• 14:44
  about.
• 14:45
  I
• 14:45
  had
• 14:46
  trouble
• 14:46
  with
• 14:46
  that.
• 14:46
  Yeah,
• 14:47
  yeah.
• 14:48
  So
• 14:48
  responding
• 14:48
  instead
• 14:49
  of
• 14:49
  reacting
• 14:49
  becomes
• 14:50
  an
• 14:50
  essential
• 14:50
  life
• 14:51
  skill.
• 14:52
  And
• 14:52
  then
• 14:52
  she
• 14:52
  moves
• 14:53
  on
• 14:53
  those
• 14:53
  questions
• 14:53
  for
• 14:54
  self
• 14:54
  discovery.
• 14:55
  So
• 14:55
  it's
• 14:55
  like
• 14:55
  ba
• 14:56
  boom,
• 14:56
  boom,
• 14:56
  you
• 14:56
  know
• 14:56
  what
• 14:57
  I
• 14:57
  mean?
• 14:57
  It's
• 14:57
  like
• 14:57
  all
• 14:57
  these
• 14:57
  things.
• 14:58
  So
• 14:58
  anyway,
• 14:58
  I
• 14:58
  just
• 14:58
  wanted
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  kind
• 14:59
  of
• 14:59
  pre
• 14:59
  game
• 15:00
  that
• 15:00
  with
• 15:00
  you,
• 15:00
  to
• 15:00
  kind
• 15:01
  of
• 15:01
  give
• 15:01
  you
• 15:01
  an
• 15:01
  idea.
• 15:01
  And
• 15:02
  I
• 15:02
  liked
• 15:02
  your
• 15:02
  ABC
• 15:03
  because
• 15:03
  I
• 15:03
  think
• 15:04
  that
• 15:04
  might
• 15:05
  be
• 15:06
  an
• 15:06
  actual
• 15:07
  piece
• 15:08
  we
• 15:08
  want
• 15:08
  to
• 15:08
  talk
• 15:08
  about
• 15:09
  in
• 15:09
  the
• 15:09
  pod.
• 15:09
  Well,
• 15:10
  and
• 15:10
  that's
• 15:10
  what
• 15:10
  I
• 15:11
  was
• 15:11
  going
• 15:11
  to
• 15:11
  tell
• 15:11
  you
• 15:11
  about
• 15:11
  was
• 15:11
  that
• 15:12
  I
• 15:12
  was
• 15:12
  looking
• 15:13
  at
• 15:13
  it
• 15:13
  because
• 15:13
  I
• 15:13
  was
• 15:13
  trying
• 15:13
  to
• 15:14
  figure
• 15:14
  out,
• 15:15
  I
• 15:15
  think,
• 15:15
  like,
• 15:15
  I
• 15:16
  take
• 15:16
  information
• 15:17
  and
• 15:17
  then
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  bastardize
• 15:18
  it.
• 15:19
  Yeah.
• 15:19
  Like,
• 15:20
  so
• 15:20
  the
• 15:21
  ABC
• 15:21
  is
• 15:21
  actually
• 15:23
  a.
• 15:23
  Stands
• 15:23
  for
• 15:24
  the
• 15:24
  activating
• 15:24
  event.
• 15:25
  So
• 15:25
  you
• 15:25
  have
• 15:25
  like
• 15:25
  a
• 15:25
  trigger
• 15:26
  or
• 15:27
  a
• 15:27
  challenge
• 15:27
  that
• 15:28
  occurs.
• 15:28
  And
• 15:29
  then
• 15:29
  the
• 15:29
  B
• 15:30
  is
• 15:30
  your
• 15:30
  belief
• 15:30
  system,
• 15:31
  so,
• 15:31
  like
• 15:31
  the
• 15:31
  thoughts
• 15:32
  or
• 15:32
  interpretation
• 15:32
  or
• 15:32
  the
• 15:33
  appraisal
• 15:33
  of
• 15:33
  the
• 15:33
  event.
• 15:33
  And
• 15:34
  C
• 15:34
  is
• 15:34
  the
• 15:34
  consequences,
• 15:35
  which
• 15:35
  is
• 15:35
  the
• 15:35
  feelings,
• 15:36
  emotions,
• 15:36
  and
• 15:36
  behaviors
• 15:37
  that
• 15:37
  results
• 15:38
  from
• 15:38
  your
• 15:38
  belief.
• 15:39
  And
• 15:39
  it's
• 15:39
  just
• 15:40
  apparently
• 15:40
  like
• 15:40
  a.
• 15:41
  It's
• 15:41
  a
• 15:41
  cognitive.
• 15:41
  It's
• 15:41
  a
• 15:42
  CBT
• 15:43
  technique.
• 15:44
  So
• 15:45
  the
• 15:45
  goal.
• 15:45
  So
• 15:45
  that's
• 15:45
  kind
• 15:45
  of
• 15:46
  what
• 15:46
  she's
• 15:46
  talking
• 15:46
  about.
• 15:47
  Yeah.
• 15:47
  She
• 15:47
  says,
• 15:48
  like,
• 15:48
  the
• 15:48
  goal
• 15:48
  of
• 15:48
  training
• 15:48
  is
• 15:49
  to
• 15:49
  teach
• 15:49
  personnel
• 15:49
  to
• 15:50
  slow
• 15:50
  down,
• 15:50
  analyze
• 15:51
  their
• 15:51
  internal
• 15:52
  monologue,
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  avoid
• 15:53
  ineffective
• 15:53
  behaviors
• 15:54
  such
• 15:54
  as
• 15:54
  catastrophizing
• 15:55
  or
• 15:55
  assuming
• 15:56
  the
• 15:56
  worst
• 15:57
  by
• 15:57
  identifying
• 15:58
  the
• 15:58
  belief.
• 15:59
  So
• 15:59
  a
• 15:59
  person
• 16:00
  can
• 16:00
  challenge
• 16:00
  it
• 16:00
  and
• 16:00
  change
• 16:01
  its.
• 16:01
  Change
• 16:01
  the.
• 16:02
  So
• 16:02
  the
• 16:02
  person
• 16:02
  can
• 16:03
  challenge
• 16:03
  it
• 16:03
  and
• 16:03
  change
• 16:04
  the
• 16:04
  consequences
• 16:05
  to
• 16:05
  a
• 16:05
  more
• 16:05
  positive
• 16:06
  or
• 16:06
  productive
• 16:06
  one.
• 16:07
  And
• 16:07
  I
• 16:08
  think,
• 16:08
  like,
• 16:08
  I
• 16:08
  just
• 16:09
  end
• 16:09
  up,
• 16:09
  like.
• 16:10
  I'm
• 16:10
  like,
• 16:10
  okay,
• 16:11
  so,
• 16:11
  like,
• 16:11
  there's,
• 16:11
  like,
• 16:12
  there's
• 16:12
  your
• 16:12
  A.
• 16:12
  It's
• 16:13
  like,
• 16:13
  this
• 16:13
  is
• 16:13
  the
• 16:13
  A
• 16:13
  is
• 16:13
  the
• 16:13
  first
• 16:14
  part,
• 16:14
  and
• 16:14
  then
• 16:14
  you
• 16:14
  have
• 16:14
  a
• 16:14
  B.
• 16:15
  Like,
• 16:15
  it's
• 16:16
  like,
• 16:16
  I'm
• 16:16
  thinking
• 16:16
  of
• 16:16
  a
• 16:16
  ladder,
• 16:17
  but,
• 16:17
  like.
• 16:17
  Yeah,
• 16:18
  so
• 16:18
  I
• 16:18
  think
• 16:18
  that's.
• 16:19
  I
• 16:19
  think
• 16:19
  it's
• 16:19
  kind
• 16:19
  of
• 16:19
  similar,
• 16:21
  but
• 16:21
  I
• 16:21
  definitely.
• 16:22
  I
• 16:22
  think
• 16:22
  it's
• 16:23
  really
• 16:23
  hard
• 16:23
  to
• 16:23
  do.
• 16:24
  I
• 16:25
  mean,
• 16:25
  it's
• 16:26
  incredibly.
• 16:27
  Especially
• 16:27
  on
• 16:28
  your
• 16:28
  own,
• 16:29
  like,
• 16:29
  without
• 16:29
  help
• 16:30
  to
• 16:30
  me,
• 16:31
  but
• 16:32
  I
• 16:32
  don't
• 16:32
  know.
• 16:32
  Everyone's
• 16:33
  got
• 16:33
  their
• 16:33
  own
• 16:33
  way,
• 16:33
  I
• 16:33
  guess,
• 16:34
  but.
• 16:35
  Okay,
• 16:35
  are
• 16:36
  we
• 16:36
  ready
• 16:36
  to
• 16:36
  get
• 16:36
  started
• 16:37
  again?
• 16:41
  That's
• 16:41
  going
• 16:42
  to
• 16:42
  stop.