Latest / From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist / Episode 20 - Some People Are Meant to Change You, Not Stay: The Doors, Windows, and Mirrors Theory
Transcript
- Denise: Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of From Sad Pick Me Girl to Alchemist. Today I want to touch on something that I had posted earlier this week, and it was about people that we meet being either doors, windows, or mirrors. And the post got quite a bit of attention. I think it's because as humans we like to try to understand the role that certain people play in our lives, particularly if you're somebody who is spiritually attuned and Wanting to understand the meaning of life. So I want to touch on this a little bit more in depth, and I learn from my fellow spiritual people as well. And it has been such a beautiful experience to understand why I am here. It has helped me to want to live, full disclosure, if you're new here, that was something that I had struggled with. And I want the same for everyone who listens. So when I create episodes and content, I always set the intention that it reaches the right souls. I know that. have deepened my connection with myself and my spirit guides. I believe deeply that we all have spirit guides, a spirit team that is looking out for us and helping us live out our full potential. And with that, I will start with describing what I feel to be true about the doors that we meet. And so with doors, I mean the people that present to us opportunities that we wouldn't have otherwise been presented. And we all have those people. Think about an opportunity that you received from somebody that you met that was unexpected and you thought, wow, what a great, opportunity to be presented to me. For lack of a better word, what a great path that I am being given that I wasn't expecting. And I will use an example from my own personal experience. I had, I took a chance on the current role that I have now, and I left a permanent role for a temporary role at this larger company for a multitude of reasons. But the reason that I bring it up is because the people that I have met at this particular workplace have been the strongest professional connections that I've had, but I also have a very deep personal connection with them, which allows me to work with them better. and understand them more and I'll say produce better because in the corporate world it is about producing a certain outcome. And so I would not have been presented this opportunity without the doors that I've met that led me there, the people that I've met and Quite honestly, when it comes to the corporate world and when you're seeking a role, oftentimes it is about a different connection that you have. Because when you think about it, there are a lot of people who are qualified for certain roles, but there's a resonance that you have with somebody that may present the ability to be able to work there. So those are the doors. Those doors are the people that come about and they open up a path that wasn't open to us or they help us to see the path that we hadn't seen before, which is close to what windows are. And windows are those people that help us to see things from a different perspective, to broaden our view of the world, and to potentially change the way that we go about life. And I will again go off of personal experience here because I think that that is something that I am dealing with in my current state is where I have met somebody who I didn't meet in a way that I expected to meet him. And as I'd mentioned, I'd wanted to take a break from dating and from looking for a potential partner. And this person came into my my life very emotionally intelligent, very attuned, willing to listen, willing to work with me and when I have used previous ways of dealing with conflict that were not healthy, he has challenged them in a healthy way. And I would view him as a window. A window of seeing things from a fresh perspective, from seeing that I don't have to go about things the way that I thought. And I've always said, okay, I the next time I entertain somebody, it's going to be someone I see myself with long term. It's not going to be anything else other than that. But what I'm realizing is I'm going based on this checklist again, this thing where this person has to fit in each box. And of course there are major values that you shouldn't ignore, major red flags, but that's not the case here. And I was trying to predict an outcome when I met this individual versus just allowing things to flow, which I Tend to do. And now that I have worked on releasing, needing to know the outcome and understanding that this person may not check all these boxes that I had created in my head, that doesn't mean that that person might not be right for me. That doesn't mean that that person's here to stay forever. But right now, he is a window. And to be able to see the world in a way that I hadn't before and learn some things that I really knew nothing about has been a beautiful experience. So backtracking a bit. When you are somebody who is spiritually attuned and you start to strengthen your connection with self, certain gifts will start to unfold. And when I say gifts, I mean spiritual gifts. We all have spiritual gifts. It's a given. And I lean heavily towards mine being about I don't want to say psychic. I don't know if we can always predict an outcome. I still have my reservations of whether thinking that we can know exactly how things are going to play out because there's so much free will. We as humans are allowed to make choices and that can change the path for us. But I will say that I have strengthened this ability to recognize souls for who they are. outside of the noise for who they are, outside of who they may be presenting at that time. And also soul recognition, understanding that there are certain people that I have met before or that I was destined to meet. Because I do believe that we are destined to meet certain individuals and that is why the connection comes much more smoothly. And so with this particular individual there was a soul recognition initially. And that doesn't mean that that person is meant to stay is what I'm realizing. So anytime you have a soul recognition with somebody, there's an intensity and a level Emotional depth that you hit with these people that you think that that means that they are meant for you and they have to stay in your life in whatever capacity, but many times that's not the case. Many times they are meant to show us something. It means that they are going to be significant in our life, but we don't get to understand how or why. We just have to let it unfold and stop going against the current. Let the universe do its work. Live out what you came here to live out. Let that person play the role that they're supposed to play in your life, whether that means that they're there to stay long term or not. And I initially tried to push this person away because I was like, okay, this isn't what I envisioned, this isn't it. we're not doing that. And the reason. Reaction changed everything. The reaction to me trying to push away really helped me to set back and say, Okay, well, you don't get to understand what the significance of this is. It feels significant, there's a recognition there from the get-go. One can argue and say that's attraction, but there are a lot of attractive people on this earth, and developing an attraction towards someone is different. And so that soul recognition. you'll understand it when you have it. And I know if you're thinking of someone that comes to mind, then that person is likely somebody that you had a soul contract with that was here to teach you something about yourself. And we all have had those in many capacities. Oftentimes it's the romantic ones that really hit because that's where we do the most growth and those reflective relationships. And that's where we'll go to mirrors. Mirrors are the people who reflect to us something that we have yet to work on or that we have to grow in. And particularly when it comes to toxic relationships, Those mirrors can be so bright and magnetic, and they draw you in. And you think, okay, this intensity means that this person is meant for me, they're meant to stay. I'm so attracted to them. I don't want to let them go. But it's because they are here to show you something so significant about yourself. And when you can differentiate that, you will stop sitting in this space where you're forcing something that isn't working to work out because it's not going to work. The stronger you grip doesn't mean that that's not going to go. Anywhere, it means that you are holding yourself back from where you need to go. And I have seen this in so many relationships, and I know if you're listening to this, you either have been in that or you know somebody who has, where they're in this relationship that is very emotionally driven, very toxic. both of them know that they're not good for each other anymore, but neither one of them want to let go, and they continue to come back to each other, and they're stunting their growth. That's the reality. You are stunting your growth when you continue to go back to that person that you know is holding you back. And it isn't until you are ready to release them that you will start to see the beauty that unfolds from the learning experience. And yes, that means you have to sit with a lot of pain. And when you understand that that pain is not going to consume you, but it's actually going to give you the power to be the person that you need to be, then you can shift your perspective. Does that make it easy? No. But does that mean you will need support? Yeah, you might. More than Likely you will need support. You'll need support to process to understand why what happened happened and to grow from it. And I want to spend the most time on the mirrors because when I share the things that I've shared about in previous relationships, those were mirrors, heavy mirrors. So think about the mirrors that you've met in your life. Think about the ones that you're still dealing with. And think about What life could potentially look like when you're ready to let go. Because understand this. Oftentimes, especially as empathetic people, as spiritually attuned people, we want to hold on to those individuals that we know have the potential to be a good human. But you cannot force that person to see it through. And they might not reach the point that they see it in this lifetime. Because we have many lifetimes and our souls are here to ascend, but that doesn't mean that that person is ready to ascend to the level that you are ready to. And yes, maybe you had A open-ended soul contract where it could potentially work out, and this person does decide to ascend with you. But their human body, meat sack, this person that they are here on this earth, decided that they don't want to do that. They decided that they want to go for the cheap thrills or they want to go for the surface-level connections. And you have to sit with that because your soul knows that they. They could live out so much more, but they're not choosing to in this lifetime. But you do yourself a disservice when you sit in that space and you hold on. You are not here for a particular person other than yourself. You are here for you to ascend. And when you ascend and when you step into your highest timeline, you allow others around you to do the same. So not only are you doing yourself a disservice, but you are doing those around you a disservice when you don't listen to yourself. And yes, I understand those mirrors are so, so difficult to let go. But that's where you do the most growth. That is when you truly find out what you've been ignoring. And that is when you start to look within and say, okay, what can I do to never recreate this pattern again? I'm done recreating this pattern. I don't want to live this out anymore. I want a different story. You are not the victim of your circumstance. You can gain control of your life. But that does mean that you are going to have to sit in this space that is so uncomfortable and it's painful. And when you let go of anybody that has had a significant role in your life, it's sad. It's sad because on some level we recognize that that's the end of their chapter in our life. And I've sat with that often because the mirrors that I've faced recently have been powerful ones. And I've said it before, the potential was there, but I didn't realize that it wasn't up to me to hold them to that. And I always thought, okay, well, when I let this person go, are they going to live out their potential with somebody else? I don't want them to, so I would hang on. But you will reach a point where you'll be okay with it. You'll be okay with knowing that that person could potentially recognize it one day, but that you didn't stay and wear yourself out waiting for that. That you allowed other people to come into your life and show you what it's like to be loved without forcing it, that are able to meet you are willing to. Listen to you that are willing to work with some of the things that you yourself are not proud of. And they don't fault you for it, but they see it and they say, Okay, I'm with you, and we're here to grow together. And again, this doesn't have to be in a romantic capacity. Sometimes it is, but either way, when you live your truest self, those people can find you. And I promise you that when you hold on to something that's not serving you, it affects every area of your life, not just the romantic partnerships that could potentially come in. But it affects your ability to show up as a friend, it affects your ability to show up as a mother, as an employee, as a business owner, whatever it is. It will affect every area of your life. So think about it. Think about if one particular person and hanging on to them for the small moments of good that you see is worth sacrificing your life and your purpose for. And only you can answer that. And that is the reason that I share the stories that I'm sharing because I don't want people to waste this lifetime sticking to those mirrors, thinking that that intensity and that passion is showing them that they need to hold on because that's not it. And I also want to say this that those people, the good qualities that they have, those ones that you admire and that keep you holding on, are Hints of what's to come. They are not the end-all be-all. Oftentimes they show you exactly what you're capable of if you let go. Because somebody will not only show you those good qualities, but they'll show you the ones that that person is lacking. And that's what I'm experiencing in real time. I had attraction for somebody who showed glimpses of emotional depth that were followed by withdrawal, that were followed by this the classic cotton cold behavior where you're like, where is this person that was giving me all this affection one day and disappears the next. And he wasn't transparent. And I asked the universe was like, please just I want transparency. And I met now with somebody who is very transparent, who is very emotionally intelligent. Sometimes the transparency has me hearing things that I didn't really know if I was open to or not, but the transparency is there. And Again, it's the hints of what's to come. I'm not saying that this is the end result. We don't get to know that. But Everything that I had liked about this previous person, this new person has, and then some. And this isn't about climbing a ladder this isn't comparing somebody that's better than another person. It's about comparing people who are more aligned, who are more spiritually attuned, who are on your frequency on a spiritual level. That's what we're talking about. We're not talking about, this person is better than this person because he looks better or because he has a better job. It doesn't matter. We're talking about soul level connections. Those deep things beyond surface level, you will feel it at your core. And so I challenge you to sit with yourself and think about somebody that you've met, whether they're a door, a window, or a mirror, the significance they played in your life, and if you had to let that person go, or if you're hanging on to those people still, what do you gain from hanging on? And what could you potentially catapult yourself into if you let go? The path. Is not an easy one. I would be lying if I said it was I am somebody who has a very hard time detaching from people who have significant roles in my life. And I fear the detachment. And I'm trying to sit with that too because I don't want to sit in this space that when I have something that is what I feel is aligned, where I'm afraid to lose it because I always felt that way. And so that's the next level. There is always something to work on. You don't get to a point where you're like, you know what? I am set. I am spiritually in tuned. I am just this golden person that has it all figured. figured out. You will never have it all figured out. And anybody who says they have it all figured out, be be cautious of them because I don't know what's going on, but as humans, that's just not possible. And with that I do want to share that I am offering services to help individuals to uncover and unpack the relationships that they're struggling to let go of. So if you go to my Instagram, Denise B. Miller, I have my website linked there. I would love to work with you on an individual level and really uncover and unpack why we connect with certain people and what we're here to do. Because all of us are here for something greater than ourselves. We're not just here to work some soul draining job and count down the days to the weekend and then drink all weekend, numb ourselves out and do it again the next week. That's not what we're here for. We are here for something far deeper than that. I sincerely believe that if you are listening, your guides or whatever it is that you believe in are looking out for you and they want you to listen and they want you to step into the timeline that you came here to step into. And if you feel like it's too little, too late, it's not. It's not too late. You're alive. You're listening. You're ready. You don't need to do anything else but believe in yourself and step into that fear. Fear is not a reason to step back. Fear is something that you step into because when you step into the uncomfortable is when you'd have the most growth. We all know that, right? It's uncomfortable and you don't do it without support. But you find the support from your people. And how do you find your people? By being your most authentic self, your most raw, unfiltered self, that person that you hired because you think it's weird or too much or too sensitive or too emotional. It's not that. I am all of those things and I am still finding my people. And I have yet to find. That's the beauty of life. We'll continue to find each other as we live out our truest selves. So with that, I just want to thank you all so, so much for listening. Again, my website is linked on my Instagram, Denise B. Miller. I am looking forward to connecting on a deeper level to each and every one of the beautiful souls listening here. It's truly such a soul fulfilling experience as I keep connecting with you all and I want to thank you all for existing. I'll see you all next week and until then, take care.