Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 26th, 2026: Meta, Piracy And My Date Yesterday

Transcript

March 26th, 2026: Meta, Piracy And My Date Yesterday · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Sponsored by confidently posting a TikTok then realizing your fly was down in
• 0:06
  the entire video afterwards.
• 0:08
  I didn't want anyone shooting me in the back or anything after the first day
• 0:13
  because we really screwed it up.
• 0:15
  We had no idea that we were going to get that kind of response.
• 0:18
  The owner of Five Guys giving away $1.5 million in bonuses to his 1,500 employees
• 0:24
  after their shit show, buy one, get one celebration for their 40th anniversary.
• 0:29
  Insert theme song here this is the
• 0:31
  daily starcast i give you the news and maybe a laugh i'm
• 0:34
  lindsey vernick and it's march 26 2026 in
• 0:38
  real news in a shocking twist that surprised absolutely no one with a working
• 0:43
  frontal lobe a jury just found meta platforms and youtube liable for basically
• 0:48
  making their apps too addictive a 20 year old woman sued them saying social
• 0:54
  media messed with her mental health growing up,
• 0:56
  and the jury was like, yeah, it did.
• 0:59
  They awarded her $6 million in total, which sounds like a lot until you realize
• 1:04
  that's roughly what Meta makes in the time it takes you to watch one 30-second video.
• 1:09
  The real headline isn't about the money, though. It's that a court finally ruled
• 1:14
  that these apps aren't just popular, they're designed to keep you stuck and miserable.
• 1:19
  This wasn't an accident, and infinite scrolling doesn't just happen.
• 1:24
  And now these companies are pretending to be shocked and we're like,
• 1:28
  wait, people use our extremely engaging, psychologically engineered platforms
• 1:33
  a lot? Yeah. Yeah, they do.
• 1:36
  Honestly, suing social media for being addictive feels like suing a casino because
• 1:41
  you blacked out at a slot machine.
• 1:43
  But also, the casino doesn't follow you home, live in your pocket,
• 1:47
  and ruin your self-esteem at all hours of the day. So there is a slight difference there.
• 1:53
  Going back to what happened at LaGuardia Airport this past week,
• 1:56
  investigators say the deadly crash came to something that honestly shouldn't be possible.
• 2:02
  According to the investigation so far, air traffic control cleared a plane to
• 2:06
  land, while also clearing an emergency vehicle to use the exact same runway.
• 2:12
  The same runway. The same time.
• 2:15
  Which feels like their version of a send-all on an email you should have absolutely not sent-all to.
• 2:22
  Investigators have been reviewing cockpit audio, and they said there were attempts
• 2:26
  to stop the vehicle, but by then it was too late.
• 2:28
  And now the focus is on what sounds like multiple breakdowns across the system,
• 2:33
  not just one mistake, but a chain of them, which is a lot more concerning,
• 2:37
  because you really want air traffic control to be the one place where nothing slips to the cracks.
• 2:43
  Like thousands of lives depends on their jobs at any given second of any day.
• 2:49
  It's still early on in the investigation, but this is the kind of story that
• 2:54
  reminds you how much air travel depends on people getting every single detail
• 2:58
  right every single time, which they usually do.
• 3:01
  But when they don't, it's not a small mess.
• 3:05
  The Supreme Court just ruled the internet providers are not automatically responsible
• 3:09
  when their users pirate music, even if they know that it's happening.
• 3:13
  So there was this case on Cox Communications, which was accused of letting about
• 3:18
  60,000 users share over 10,000 songs illegally and not cutting them off.
• 3:23
  A jury originally hit them with a casual $1 billion in damages.
• 3:26
  But the court basically said, providing internet access isn't the same as encouraging piracy.
• 3:32
  So unless a company is actively helping or
• 3:35
  promoting it they're not on the hook for this the bigger
• 3:38
  issue here is what could have happened if the court sided with the music industry
• 3:44
  internet providers might have had to start cutting off users left and right
• 3:47
  including places like hospitals schools or entire apartment buildings because
• 3:51
  of one person downloading a sketchy file so this is a win for internet companies,
• 3:57
  but it's a big loss for a lot of musicians and record labels because piracy
• 4:04
  continues to screw over artists.
• 4:07
  One justice even warned this decision might let companies ignore bad actors
• 4:11
  completely, which is comforting.
• 4:13
  So the bottom line is, your Wi-Fi provider is officially not the police.
• 4:19
  They're just the getaway car. In Lindsay life, I went on a date with a guy from an app yesterday.
• 4:26
  I would say that I got catfished, but he really didn't look any better than
• 4:31
  any of his pictures. and I thought that there was a chance that he might because
• 4:35
  sometimes that really does happen, but he didn't.
• 4:39
  Things I used to do when I first moved to New York City. Follow people when
• 4:43
  I was transferring subways because I thought we were all going the same way home.
• 4:47
  I was willing to travel an hour plus just so I could maybe meet new people.
• 4:52
  I would stare at Apple Maps walking 10 blocks away as if I was in a foreign country.
• 4:56
  I stopped to talk to people who always try to wave at you to sign up,
• 5:00
  to vote, or give them money.
• 5:01
  And i truly believe let's hang out soon meant that they actually wanted to hang
• 5:06
  out soon okay i still do all these things cooking tip of the day even though
• 5:12
  it looks cute to buy bananas and eggs you should probably actually cook them
• 5:16
  too instead of just leaving them in the fridge,
• 5:20
  feedback comments questions and is jewish by looking for a date email me at
• 5:24
  lindsay at the daily sarcast.com thanks so much for listening talk to you guys tomorrow.