Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 23rd, 2026: Hallmark's 34 Christmas Movies, Barbara Palvin And Mattress Shopping

Transcript

October 23rd, 2026: Hallmark's 34 Christmas Movies, Barbara Palvin And Mattress Shopping · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Are you getting a little too comfortable? Has life been suspiciously manageable
• 0:04
  lately? Rent-A-Crisis is here to fix that.
• 0:08
  For just $199.99 a week, Rent-A-Crisis delivers you a personalized emergency.
• 0:14
  Choose from their signature packages, including the mysterious text where someone
• 0:19
  messages you, can we talk, and then doesn't answer for six hours.
• 0:24
  Or try the financial spiral where you get an email with the subject line important
• 0:29
  update regarding your account which includes being locked out of your bank account
• 0:34
  and having to call and wait in line on customer service for hours on end.
• 0:38
  For those seeking something more intimate, their premium relationship sabotage
• 0:44
  package includes a partner who suddenly starts acting differently,
• 0:48
  a friend who says, I need to tell you something,
• 0:51
  and a mother who has a full, complete breakdown and you need to go fly and visit her.
• 0:56
  And for our most discerning clients, they offer Platinum Crisis,
• 1:00
  featuring three overlapping emergencies, one completely unnecessary confrontation,
• 1:07
  and a vague sense of impending doom that lasts about four to six business days.
• 1:12
  All subscriptions automatically renew until you feel emotionally stable enough
• 1:16
  to cancel, at which point they'll send you an email that says, are you sure?
• 1:21
  Rent a crisis because happiness is temporary, but anxiety is a lifestyle.
• 1:26
  Rent a crisis is not responsible for any actual consequences resulting from
• 1:30
  the crises they manufacture. Additional stress may occur.
• 1:34
  Refunds are not available during weeks of personal growth.
• 1:37
  I like to talk about the emus. I like to talk about Halloween.
• 1:40
  Amanda Seyfried when asked about a project she can't talk about and then later
• 1:45
  commenting on that video and said, what am I even saying?
• 1:48
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 1:53
  I'm Lindsay Wernick and today is October 23rd, 2026.
• 1:57
  If you guys are on social, you have to check out some of my new videos.
• 2:01
  I posted the sketch yesterday I did with my friend Topher and it's really silly
• 2:07
  and fun So make sure you check it out on instagram or tiktok.
• 2:11
  Maybe it's on facebook, but I don't know It could be who knows.
• 2:15
  In real news, Airbnb is finally doing something about one of the most annoying
• 2:20
  things about staying in an Airbnb.
• 2:22
  Paying a $200 cleaning fee when you're already being handed a list of chores
• 2:27
  like you're cleaning up from a party at your parents' house.
• 2:29
  So starting on November 20th, Airbnb hosts can no longer make guests do things
• 2:34
  like strip the beds, wash and put away dishes, and take trash off of the property.
• 2:39
  Like, we were paying $800 a night to stay in a house and still be expected to
• 2:43
  do the laundry before we leave.
• 2:46
  Obviously, the hosts are not happy about this. Some hosts are threatening to
• 2:50
  just leave Airbnb entirely.
• 2:53
  Others are threatening to go on strike. One person said they're literally going
• 2:58
  to strip their kitchen down to the bare essentials.
• 3:01
  I mean, their entire business model is renting out a kitchen and then you're
• 3:05
  not going to give anything in the kitchen that makes no sense.
• 3:08
  Like, I I understand. You don't want to come home to a sink full of lonely food
• 3:14
  and dishes and just like disgusting garbage and a trashed house.
• 3:18
  But that's what the cleaning fee is for. So you can like hire cleaners to do that for you.
• 3:24
  And what's the point of the cleaners coming if the house is already clean?
• 3:29
  It's like when you have to clean the house for the cleaning lady. It makes no sense.
• 3:33
  But like you have to clean the house for the cleaning lady because you want
• 3:37
  to put things where you want them
• 3:39
  but this is a random person's home that you will never probably be going back
• 3:43
  to you don't know where they like things you don't care where they like things
• 3:46
  it's just been a long exhausting weekend and you just want to get the fuck out of that place,
• 3:51
  however airbnb says the host can still ask us to do reasonable things like just
• 3:57
  put their dirty dishes in the sink or just like put the towels in the laundry room.
• 4:03
  But they can't make you strip the bed, wash the dishes, or haul your garbage
• 4:07
  to a dumpster three blocks away using a map that's taped to the fridge.
• 4:11
  And Airbnb says that hosts who violate this and like make people still do the
• 4:17
  things that they had to do before could get removed from Airbnb.
• 4:22
  So to all those Airbnb hosts threatening to quit because you can no longer make
• 4:25
  your guests do your cleaning for you, I wish you the best.
• 4:29
  And to all of us, let's finally enjoy our vacations.
• 4:33
  We're finally going to be able to leave our Airbnb without having to wake up
• 4:35
  early and do all of the chores before checking out.
• 4:39
  Get this one. Hallmark has officially kicked off its countdown to Christmas.
• 4:45
  And this year, they're releasing 34 Christmas movies. 34.
• 4:50
  Like, we are literally, I don't know, more than a week away from Halloween.
• 4:55
  And Hallmark is giving out more Christmas content than more families consume in an entire lifetime.
• 5:02
  Like, they started, I'm not kidding, they started showing Christmas movies last
• 5:06
  week, like on October 16th.
• 5:09
  And they're having new movies coming out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night through December.
• 5:15
  And like, there's no new plot lines here. There's a ski instructor,
• 5:18
  a single mom, a Christmas party, a woman falling in love in a small town,
• 5:23
  and at least one person who inherits a bakery from a parent they knew nothing about.
• 5:28
  However, this year, they teamed up with Disney for a Christmas movie set at Disney World.
• 5:34
  So now we have Mickey mouse getting involved in our little fictional small town romances.
• 5:40
  I mean, good on Hallmark, right? Like, they have now produced 34 original movies for this season.
• 5:47
  And the biggest conflict on
• 5:49
  these movies might be, will somebody make it home in time for Christmas?
• 5:53
  Or maybe somebody realizes they've been in love with their childhood best friend their entire lives.
• 5:59
  Really thought provoking stuff but like are really people gonna watch all 34 of these movies like,
• 6:06
  maybe i guess like if you don't have a job but like also are you okay like are
• 6:11
  you okay if you watch all 34 new hallmark movies,
• 6:15
  like at what point can you get sick of watching a woman fall in love with a
• 6:18
  man who owns a christmas tree farm i don't know i i don't know.
• 6:24
  So for those of us who are not ready, we still have time to prepare for Halloween.
• 6:28
  Like, I don't even know what I'm going to be wearing for Halloween.
• 6:31
  Well, I usually never do.
• 6:33
  But like, I don't even know what I'm going to be for Halloween.
• 6:35
  And that's like, not for another week, which in my life is like another year away.
• 6:39
  Christmas is like four years away in my world.
• 6:42
  But also, at this rate, with all this hot mark movie stuff, I assume that the
• 6:46
  Easter bunny is going to pop out before Christmas.
• 6:49
  Okay, do you guys remember Amy Brobach and TJ Holmes?
• 6:54
  They were the two Good Morning America anchors, and their, like,
• 6:57
  romance became one of the biggest scandals in morning TV.
• 7:02
  Okay, so flash forward four years, literally everyone's getting married,
• 7:07
  just, like, not with the person who they were originally married to.
• 7:11
  Okay, so here's the recap. So back in November of 2022, to, there were photos
• 7:16
  of Amy and TJ, like, getting cozy outside of work.
• 7:20
  But the thing was that they were both married to other people.
• 7:24
  Amy was married to actor Andrew Shue, and TJ was married to this attorney, Marley.
• 7:29
  So when their, like, big affair came to light, ABC pulled them off the air,
• 7:35
  and then in January 2023, the network confirmed that, like, they were out of the company.
• 7:41
  So then after After that, both couples got divorced and Amy and TJ stayed together
• 7:47
  and they were like, oh, no, like we started this relationship after like we got separated.
• 7:52
  But like we all know, we all know, you know, we know it's one of those like it's OK.
• 7:58
  You don't even need to say it. Or maybe they did. I don't know.
• 8:01
  And so while all of this is happening with Amy and TJ, the other spouses,
• 8:08
  like the exes, started talking.
• 8:11
  So Andrew and Marlene became friends.
• 8:14
  And then it kind of got romantic.
• 8:17
  And then they started dating in 2023 and have now been together for more than three years.
• 8:24
  Okay, but then in October of last year, Amy and TJ announced that they got engaged.
• 8:31
  And then last month they got married i mean we all knew where that one was going
• 8:36
  okay but now flash forward to this week andrew and marley just announced that they're engaged,
• 8:42
  apparently they got engaged this past spring and they're like super happy and
• 8:48
  excited and grateful about their future together,
• 8:51
  okay so now like when they're planning this wedding are they gonna like send
• 8:55
  an invitation to their exes because like they got them together,
• 9:00
  or are we just like not inviting them at all?
• 9:01
  Like what does their relationship look like? That's so interesting.
• 9:05
  And Andrew and Marley have a very interesting love story. Is it exciting?
• 9:09
  Is it romantic? Is it weird?
• 9:11
  I don't know. Maybe all of the above. So maybe the lesson here is that you can date your ex's ex.
• 9:19
  Well, I guess that would be the same sex then.
• 9:22
  Well, okay. I guess that means that you can date your ex's new partner's ex.
• 9:29
  Right? Am I right? I don't know. I'm talking to myself. I have no idea. I hope I'm right.
• 9:36
  In Lindsay life I went to get a new mattress yesterday,
• 9:40
  and I literally walk into the store I tell the guy you need a new mattress he
• 9:46
  shows me one it's very reasonable reasonably priced I sit down on it,
• 9:52
  this feels great I don't know I look at him I'm like this is this is a mattress
• 9:57
  I don't know what to tell you it's great I'll take it this will work yeah so
• 10:02
  I don't know I didn't like lay on like 10 different mattresses,
• 10:04
  I guess, whatever you're supposed to do.
• 10:07
  But like, that's not fun. Who wants to do that?
• 10:10
  MVP of this week goes to Barbara Palvin. Okay, so this woman just walked the
• 10:16
  Victoria's Secret fashion show just six weeks after giving birth.
• 10:21
  And obviously, people had a lot of things to say about it.
• 10:24
  A lot of women were cheering her on for coming back so quickly,
• 10:28
  right? Like, to be in Victoria's Secret fashion show six weeks after giving
• 10:31
  birth, that's fucking nuts.
• 10:34
  So then, obviously, a lot of people criticized her for being like.
• 10:38
  As a new mom, like, how are we supposed to do this. Like, I could never be in
• 10:41
  Victoria's Secret fashion show six weeks after giving birth.
• 10:44
  But what I think is interesting is she was like, yeah, you know what?
• 10:48
  I gave birth six weeks ago, and I'm up here, and I'm doing it.
• 10:52
  And, like, women in this country, that's what we have to do.
• 10:56
  We have to go back to work six weeks after we have a baby.
• 11:00
  And, yeah, her job happens to be walking down a runway in lingerie. Like, that's her job.
• 11:06
  Maybe people have different jobs. I mean, people do have different jobs but
• 11:10
  like yeah i think it's really incredible that like she did it,
• 11:15
  she's not trying to like set expectations i think my this is my opinion i don't think she's trying to,
• 11:20
  put expectations on other women to do it but like that's you know that's what she does,
• 11:26
  and it's not like she looked like crazy crazy amazing she didn't look like all
• 11:29
  the other models like if you look at her like she just looks she looks great
• 11:33
  she looks amazing i mean she definitely looks like a model, but she's,
• 11:36
  you know, she definitely doesn't look, like, super skinny, which is also not that cute either.
• 11:42
  And I don't think she's trying to set a standard of, like, oh,
• 11:44
  this is what you should look like six weeks after postpartum,
• 11:47
  but this is what she looks like six weeks after postpartum.
• 11:50
  So, Barba gets this week's MVP, not just for walking the runway,
• 11:55
  but for starting now a big conversation that's now all over social media of
• 12:01
  reminding what people what six weeks postpartum actually looks like.
• 12:05
  I mean, I can barely get out of bed after a bad night of drinking,
• 12:09
  and there's women out there recovering from major abdominal surgery while keeping a newborn alive.
• 12:15
  So, I mean, that's pretty impressive.
• 12:17
  Cooking tip of the day. Cook something you actually want to eat.
• 12:20
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date?
• 12:24
  Email me at lindsay at thedailysarcast.com.
• 12:26
  Thank you guys so much for listening. I know this might be the longest Sarcast I've done.
• 12:31
  Have a great weekend, and I will talk to you guys tomorrow.