Latest / The Kink Consultant / What's It Like to Be a Cover Model? Jose and Mama on Romance, Kink, and Being the Fantasy

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What's It Like to Be a Cover Model? Jose and Mama on Romance, Kink, and Being the Fantasy · The Kink Consultant

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It's the King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
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So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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to it. Hey everyone, and welcome to
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this week's episode of The Kink Consultant.
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I am joined by Jose and Andrea AKA Mama.
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Thank you both so much for being on the show today.
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And I just want to introduce you.
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We all met at Dirty Daddy's Do Vegas convention and Jose, you
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are a cover model, an actor, and from what I understand, Andrea
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is kind of responsible for getting you into this cover
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model. Yes, she is 100%.
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How did you 2 first meet? So be.
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Nice. I'm gonna be in place.
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Oh no. Don't.
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You weren't. So this is perfect because we're
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happen to be on the kink podcast.
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We met through her cousins. We were 8-9 years old and I was
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going out with one of her cousins at the time and her
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cousin's mom. Her aunt and my mom got to be
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friends. So her aunt and my girlfriend at
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the time came to pick me up to go to the skating rink, the
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local. Skating rink.
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Sorry, you're like 8 or 9 year old girlfriend.
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Yeah, exactly. They came take me up to go to
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the skating rink one night and we ended up over at their
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grandmother's house for dinner before we went to the skating
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rink. And yeah, we met there.
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And slightly awkward because she and I hit it off really quick.
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We actually never actually dated.
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So we just kind of instantly developed a crush on each other.
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And it was hit and miss all the way until we were 18 and 19
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years old. And but we grew up really as
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best friends who had crushes on each other forever.
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And literally like he would be that guy, like my best friend
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that I would complain about my boyfriend to you.
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I'd be like, I can't believe my boyfriend's doing this.
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I'm having these problems. And he was always like, well,
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you can tell your boyfriend AB and C and if he doesn't treat
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you right then I'll take you. But that night we met that first
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night, we were essentially playing tag or something in the
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backyard at night. I came around one side of a
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tree, she came around the other side and she just clothes lined
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the heck had me not flat on my back.
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So she literally swept me off my feet.
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That very. First night.
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Oh, I love that we've known each other a long.
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Time. Well, we've been married over
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half our lives now. Wow.
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Congratulations. That's thank you.
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Huge. OK, so obviously you're on a
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kink podcast. We met at a kinky book
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convention. I have to assume you're both
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kinky. One of us probably more than the
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other. Which 1A.
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Little bit more conservative, but open to suggestions.
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No way. But Mama, you're the one who
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introduced Jose to all of this, aren't you?
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How? So he was in the Army at the
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time. He was a first Sergeant up at
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the Old Guard in Arlington, and he had been fighting
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professionally over in Hawaii. And he's got quite a few
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injuries. You know, he wasn't getting any
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younger. And I was concerned for his
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health because he had a lot of neck and back injuries.
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He had to have surgeries, Tbis, you know, all the fun things of
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being a crazy person in the special operations community, in
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the military. And his body just had endured a
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lot of wear and tear. And I was like, you can't do
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this anymore. I said, you can teach, you can
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mentor, but you cannot do this anymore.
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And he was like, well, fine, then you need to find me
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something else to do because he's a little social butterfly.
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And he gets bored very quickly, if you haven't noticed.
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So we have moved from Hawaii to DC and I stay up at night.
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I have a problem sleeping. So I was scrolling through
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Facebook and I had seen this beautiful portrait that was done
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by this world renowned photographer named Michael
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Stokes. The Facebook had deemed the
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picture inappropriate and like pornographic for Facebook.
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And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.
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And it was literally a female who was a EOD bomb tech in the
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military. She had lost both of her arms
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and she was a double mastectomy breast cancer survivor.
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So they actually redid Venus de Milo.
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Are you familiar with the Venus de Milo?
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It's where they're on a Greek pillar.
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And she's got like a beautiful, like, you know, garb draped over
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her. It was beautiful.
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So that's what caught me to follow Michael Stokes.
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So then at night when I'm scrolling through, you know,
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things pop up on my feed and he's got all of these different
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models and, you know, picture of men and this and that and the
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other. And a lot of them happened to be
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like wounded warriors that were in the military and they had
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tattoos and this and that and the other.
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And So what Michael Stokes was doing, he had a project where he
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was raising money for the Semper Fi Foundation.
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So he did a lot of charity work. He was a philanthropist too.
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And so I was just looking and I was like, my husband looks like
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those. So I looked a little bit more
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into Michael Stokes and I found his information and I emailed
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him and I said, I've got a client who fits your preference
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of models. And I'm not really sure how you
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select them, but I also see that you do charity for the military.
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We'd really love to work with you.
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My husband's active duty, please let me know type thing.
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And I kid you not, we were in DC and Michael Stokes lives over in
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LA. Within 5 minutes he was like I'd
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love to work with your client so.
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I knew I was asleep. You.
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Told her you said you couldn't find it and she.
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Yeah. My, my day started at like four,
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4:30 in the morning every day. So I fell asleep earlier than
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she did. Yeah.
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So she kind of looked over at me and was like, oh, he was gonna
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kill me. So then I, you know, talked back
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and forth a little bit to Michael Stokes and I looked on
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his page. And so I had told him in the
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next couple of days that, you know, I had gotten him a
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photography shoot and here was the photographer.
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And he was a world renowned photographer, had exquisite
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work, loved his work. Yeah.
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And that he likes to highlight and honor the warrior body.
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The strength and the strength and resiliency of the, of the
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wounded battering as opposed to showing the scars and the bad
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side of war, which is this initially what he kind of set
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out was kind of this project. And when he was shooting the
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veterans, he found that they were much stronger and more
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resilient than he was expecting them to be.
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So that became his his focus. And I'd never done a photo
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shoot. I was not in my eyes, I wasn't.
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I got bullied and picked on growing up to the point that she
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liked me. And she did some after school
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stuff, activities with some of the girls that went to school
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with me and they would pick on her for liking me because I was
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not that guy at our school. So it was I got picked on pretty
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bad. So I've never saw myself doing
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anything like this. Even when she told me that's
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what I was doing, I was like, yeah, no, I'm not a model.
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I'm not this quality of person. I don't know like what you think
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I'm going to be doing. And she said, well, he and I
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both think you are, so get ready.
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And I was like, when this when is this supposed to happen?
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And she said two months. I said you call him back and
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tell him three because I got some work to.
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Do. And I had sent him some pictures
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while he was at work of what some of the shoots look like,
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what some of the models look like.
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So he kind of knew what he was getting into and I'd let him
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tell that story. Well, Jose, you handed it over
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to Andrew and you're like, just go for it.
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And she did like, talk about setting you up on your next
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path. Did you wait the three months?
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Yes I did and I dieted extremely hard.
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My days started at 4:30 in the morning.
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I would go into work at Arlington and then I would go to
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the gym for two or three hours a day after work.
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I was burning both ends for a full 3 months while dieting
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extensively to the point that even my soldiers were like they
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were looking at me. They watched the body
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transformation and they were like what are you getting ready
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for? It was.
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Funny. So when this first shoot came
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about, what was it for exactly? So Michael does his coffee table
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books, calendars, plus at the time he had like 1.2 million
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followers. So I'm sure he was getting a
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good amount of social media monetary kickback.
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But what he would do is so that shoot, from that shoot, along
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with the other models that he worked with, Michael was able to
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donate what was it like thirty, $30,000 on top of his profits,
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$30,000 to December 5. So that was really what we
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pushed it for was to be able to provide to that.
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Even though I'm army there, there's always that inner
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service rivalries, but we still all ultimately support each
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other so. That makes sense.
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OK, so that was your jump from military to?
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Modeling. Modeling from military to model.
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What was the jump from model to cover model?
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Mama had been the military spouse of the year at two
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different military installations at this point and the military
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spouse community was was growing and becoming stronger and more
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notable, especially in the DC area where we were.
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So she and Michael Stokes had a huge, huge military spouse
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following because of his work with wounded veterans and stuff.
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So Mom had gotten into that community and was a bunch of her
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friends followed Michael. So when these images came out,
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almost none of them knew that I was doing this.
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You know those Happy Hump Day memes and here you go ladies.
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Here's a pep. He happened to be a couple of
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Happy Hump days that people would put out.
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My friends, yes. And my friends didn't even some
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of them didn't even realize that was my husband.
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And my friend, one of them, she was so sweet.
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She was like, oh, yummy. And then somebody commented on
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there and she was like, you realize that's Andrea's husband,
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right? And then my friend was mortified
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and she messaged me and she's like, I am so sorry.
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I'm like, no, no, you're welcome.
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So. Yeah, that's kind of the caveat.
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It's like one thing to oggle stranger, but when it's your
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friend's partner it's like, oh, this is very familiar.
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Well, it also made its way around, apparently my soldiers
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spouses. I didn't know this, but it was
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brought to my attention here recently that, yeah, a bunch of
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them had been following and recognized me and it became a
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thing. So ultimately what happened was
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one of those spouses was friends with an author named Sierra
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London, who was also a retired veteran who who writes what kind
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of romance? Interracial romance, but she's
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not branched into a lot of mafia, dark romance, stuff like
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that. She said, hey, she reached out
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to Miss Sierra and was like, hey, I got a friend who is
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looking at getting into cover modeling.
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I think you should put him on one of your covers.
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Pretty forward. Miss Sierra was like, oh, great,
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here we go. What does he look like?
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So she shot her one of some of the Michael Stokes images, and
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she goes, oh, OK, yeah, give me his information, I'll reach out.
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And they kind of just launched from there.
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My first shoot was with a small photographer that was just
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commissioned for that cover. And then it just kind of I went
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to a signing before that book even came out.
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And then I got introduced to people in the industry and it
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just kind of took off like really fast.
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That's amazing. I guess other authors would find
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you and ask you to model as well.
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And that again, one of the top photographers in the industry
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and it just kind of once I did that shoot with him within the
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cover model or within the industry, yeah, it just kind of
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took off. Because at that time, he was one
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of three more recognized and sought after silver fox daddies.
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Because I guess in, you know, the romance world, a lot of the
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models are younger. So when he came out, a lot of
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his fan base was like, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
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Here's a mature silver fox daddy that I can find after and not
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feel awkward about it. Whoa, so silver fox daddy is
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your niche? It's become a big part of it.
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The Bike of Mafia side has been like two other very prominent
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areas for me. I could totally see that with
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the tattoos, the whole look, it fits.
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None of it's a stretch for me because I'm a biker.
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Like like, that's that. I fit right into it because it's
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who I actually AM. Somehow not surprising now that
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I think about it, but had either of you read these types of books
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before entering the world? So that's kind of where I
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started and then I just slowly worked my way into it.
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And I didn't really get active into reading per SE until Jose
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was more active into it. I read about a book a day, But
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so that's where I started with it.
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And when he started being on more and more covers, he was
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like, well, I want to know what is in these books and what the
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books are, you know, about that I'm on specifically, but he's
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like, what are the romance books about?
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And I'm like, hold on a minute. So I went and got that Crossfire
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series and I was like, here you go, you're welcome.
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And so he read the first one, and he was just like.
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Wow, it was like this. A woman wrote this.
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What the Everything I thought I knew about women just went right
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out the window. No, probably.
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What? Like what shocked you the most?
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The graphic nature, the fact that there was so much in there
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that I think men would normally associate with a man's psyche or
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or fantasies. Things that we would want.
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Yeah, y'all want just as much. The thing is, is there's such a
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stigma tied to y'all and what is acceptable for y'all
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traditionally, that it's kind of has to be suppressed or hidden a
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little bit. So when I started reading that,
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I was like, wow, like I had no clue how kinky I guess women are
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by nature because if we don't see that.
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And then also on top of that, I was like, well, why is that?
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The more I thought about it, the more I read it, it very much
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seemed like, and honestly, the more people I met in the
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industry meeting, speaking with readers and stuff, it's more of
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a judgement thing. So a lot of it is reserved
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especially. I mean, we've been married
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almost 20 years by the time I started reading.
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And I found that when I started reading, especially books that
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she liked, I was like, well, there's got to be a reason that
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she likes. So I started thinking about it
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and I'm like, well, maybe there's a lot in here that she's
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at least curious about. She might not necessarily want
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it, but she might be curious about it.
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Why wouldn't she tell me about it?
14:25
Well, she's probably afraid that I'm going to judge her, so hold.
14:28
On Mama Hey Kingsters, did you know we have a book club?
14:33
Join the King Consultant crew every month to read spicy, kinky
14:37
books and chat with other shamelessly curious minds.
14:40
I started this club because I was tired of reading kinky
14:43
stories with no one to talk about them with.
14:45
It's the perfect place to meet other book loving Kingsters,
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14:51
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14:57
I want to know why hadn't you? I was raised and grew up in a
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very, I would say proper household and environment.
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My grandma raised me because my dad was in the military and I
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kind of went back and forth a lot.
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But I mean, I was with my grandma for most of my
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childhood. You know, she, she's very old
15:16
fashioned love, grand, grand. That's just how you were raised
15:19
as a woman and a female. Even our middle daughter hates
15:22
when we say that's not ladylike. You know, you need to act like a
15:25
young lady. And she's like, I can act the
15:27
way I want and still be a young lady.
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So it's kind of that mindset, you know, if you think about it
15:32
like you don't want to be looked at as the scarlet A type person
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and like this crazy person. So it's just one of those things
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you don't really know until you know.
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It sounds like it felt more comfortable to read and enjoy it
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through that than to bring it up and experience it in person
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because of the fear of is it rejection or shame of like oh
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I'm not supposed to want this? I think it was just kind of more
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of at this point it was what, like 30 ish years of your
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upbringing. You know, society says this is
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how you're supposed to act. This is how you're supposed to
16:09
be. If you go to church, you have to
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have this persona. And if you are a mom or if you
16:15
work in this industry, you have to personify, you know, a
16:18
certain thing or else you're a bad person.
16:21
You have to personify what society says you're supposed.
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To look like still wasn't. That just outside of our
16:26
bedroom. And it wasn't, it wasn't
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something that was like a shame thing or that you yearned for.
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It was just sort of like a, oh, that's for other people.
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It's just something something that I'd never been exposed to.
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So I just was unaware. For instance, you know, like as
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a woman and a female, for instance, I'm sure you know, you
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were taught how to put on makeup and do your hair and things like
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that. I was a tomboy growing up.
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So, you know, there's, there's a lot of differences there too.
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So it's just a matter of not knowing how to open yourself up
16:57
to experience things without feeling a certain kind of way
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and being like, Oh, this is OK. Oh, I can oh, I'm allowed to
17:05
have these thoughts or I'm allowed to have these feelings.
17:07
And and then to try to create that dialogue with your partner
17:11
that sometimes it's like, how do I bring this up?
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How do we talk about this? So reading like you said, it's a
17:15
great Ave. And see from my side, I had no
17:18
clue. Like, I had no idea that this
17:20
was even like in my eyes, I'm like, if I ask for this stuff,
17:23
I'm being a stereotypical guy. But then when I started reading
17:27
these books and I realized they, I feel like there was a level of
17:30
liberation on both our sides. When she's realized that I was
17:33
reading these books and when I realized that she likely had a
17:37
lot of these same desires, it was liberating the both of us to
17:39
be like, for me to be like, oh wow, maybe I should ask her
17:42
about this because it never dawned on me to ask her because
17:46
I mean, I've heard you talk about it on some of your past
17:48
episodes too. Rejection for men is a very real
17:50
thing. We get it way more than y'all
17:51
do. And as a longtime husband, I
17:54
didn't want to push her to do anything that she might be
17:57
uncomfortable with. Once I started reading these
17:59
things and I realized that there was stuff in here that she might
18:02
be open to, I was like, oh, wow. Like maybe I need to not push
18:05
it, but press it a little bit to try and get her to open up.
18:08
And yeah, I think with me reading and her realizing that I
18:13
did have that knowledge now kind of allowed her to open up a
18:16
little bit more too. I mean, do you know how many
18:18
women wish their husbands would read these books?
18:21
So. Yes, I do, because I hear all
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the time of these events now. I bet you do.
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OK, so how did you kick off the conversation?
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And the reason I'm asking this, I'm going to explain.
18:31
So many people ask me how do I introduce this to my partner?
18:35
How do I get my partner to do XY and Z?
18:38
And as I think we all know, you can't force someone to do
18:41
something they don't want to do. You, at least you both had this
18:44
insight into this world that could be a possibility for you.
18:48
How did the conversation start? Maybe 10 years into our marriage
18:52
when he was heavy on deployments, actually might have
18:55
been five years into our marriage, to be honest, he was
18:57
heavy in deployments. So he would be gone.
19:00
So what we had done at that .1 of the things was we kept
19:04
journals, both of us. So he had told me, hey, let's
19:08
kind of just write whatever we want in these journals, whatever
19:11
we're feeling. If you're feeling a little
19:13
feisty or something, act out a scene and write it down for me.
19:16
And then when I get home, we'll swap journals and then I can
19:19
read some of the things that you were thinking and maybe I'll
19:22
just act out something. I feel like that kind of early
19:24
on started our communication dialogue.
19:27
And then from there, it was mainly just talk at that point
19:30
because we had three young ladies, like very young ladies
19:34
in the house and everything. So that was a lot of our focus.
19:36
And I think as they got older, it freed us up to put more focus
19:40
on each other. But then when it came to this,
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it kind of led into the same thing because instead of us
19:46
having to write down, because again, both of our experiences
19:49
were we've been together since we were 1819 years old, been
19:52
married since then, that both of our experiences, like you don't
19:56
realize how little you know when it comes to that side of the
20:00
that side of the relationship. And so you start talking to
20:03
other people or until you start getting outside information.
20:06
And I think the books definitely helped with that because Mama's
20:10
not a porn person. I'm a stereotypical guy.
20:12
I watch the stuff whenever it suits me.
20:15
But the book is essentially. That for her, so there was a lot
20:18
of education there within the books.
20:20
Instead of us writing down in the journals.
20:22
It was essentially like, hey, when when I'm reading a book
20:25
that she's reading, she likes this book.
20:27
There's scenes in here that I'm interested in.
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Maybe we start talking about different scenes in this book,
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and instead of acting out things that we both came up with, maybe
20:35
we start acting out these other things.
20:36
Well, did you have like a schedule of when you would talk
20:38
about what you both journaled about when you did have?
20:41
Really. I love the journal idea, and
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that's something I rarely hear a couples talk about proactively
20:48
doing. Yeah.
20:49
You know, it's like something I recommend, but not like, I love
20:52
that you were both doing that. Well, to me, I mean kind of
20:54
being a little bit of a quiet and more of an introverted
20:58
person, that to me was a safe space to write my thoughts down
21:01
without having to go through and actually analyze it.
21:07
You could just write it down how you feel.
21:08
Because a lot of the times in the moment, if you just write
21:11
down how you feel or you say how you feel, that's actually a lot
21:14
of truth to it. And then later on you can look
21:16
at it, break it down, and then say, OK, what are the good
21:19
points? What are the bad points?
21:20
Where can I improve? Stuff like that.
21:21
So you can do that same process with journaling, with writing
21:25
your feelings, getting into different things within a
21:28
relationship too. I love that like poster children
21:31
for how to communicate and talk about these things.
21:34
Being completely honest, it wasn't always super easy.
21:38
We're in our 25th year of marriage and it's not like easy
21:41
the whole way. I'll tell you this, the past
21:43
five years honestly probably been better than the previous 20
21:47
because we can't stay away from each other now.
21:50
I love that. And you travel together like
21:53
Mama, you are so supportive. I met you at the convention and
21:56
you hang out together. It's like you're really walking
21:59
the walk. I tell you what, my first book
22:00
convention, just to kind of let you know how shy I was.
22:03
It was MMM, I want to stay back in like 2023 that I went to MMM
22:08
is mobsters and motorcycles and mayhem.
22:10
It's in Texas. It happened to be at the, I
22:12
think it's called the Grapevine Gaylord area.
22:17
But anyhow, so it was in, you know, it was in Texas.
22:20
And so he had taken me along just as a reader because I've
22:23
never really got to go with him. I had been reading a lot at this
22:26
point, but I'd never been to a convention.
22:28
I will tell you it's a very well run convention, but I was so
22:32
overwhelmed and so overstimulated because you've
22:35
got all these peoples of all walks of life.
22:37
You've got all these authors and influencers just walking around
22:42
and it's a total culture shock. Yeah.
22:43
So when you actually see it, live it, eat it and breathe it,
22:47
you're just like, oh, wow. So I actually went out into the
22:50
hallway and sat because I was very overwhelmed and I just
22:52
needed to kind of regather myself.
22:54
And there were two readers out there that were talking about
22:57
how they were going to get in trouble.
22:58
They'd spent over $800 on pre-orders and they were buying
23:01
more books. And I was just kind of listening
23:03
to him talk. They were talking about some
23:05
models and some books and some people they were excited about.
23:08
So I was like, hey, just to let you know, there's a cover model
23:11
in there. His name is Jose.
23:12
If you go back in there, tell him Mama sent sent you to see
23:16
him and say hi. So they're like, oh, we're going
23:17
to do that right now. So they ran right in and they
23:20
went and found him and they're like, your wife told us to come
23:22
and see you. Oh my gosh.
23:24
So that's kind of what I do now. Like whenever we go to events,
23:27
there's a lot of private groups for the event in Facebook and on
23:31
social media. And if I see, you know, there's
23:33
somebody that's going through a tough time or they're having a
23:35
hard day, I'll be like, Hey, make sure you stop by and see
23:38
Jose and tell him Mama sent you and get a calendar or this, that
23:43
and the other. There was this one woman that
23:44
just went through a really bad breakup and is remission from
23:48
some health issues. And she came up to me at the MMM
23:51
this year that just passed. I want to say it was in March in
23:55
Texas again. And she's like, I just wanted to
23:57
stop by and say thank you. You made my day.
23:59
I stopped by and he gave me a calendar.
24:01
He's the sweetest. I've got pictures.
24:04
So, you know, there's a lot of aspects to the world too, and.
24:07
Now she's very active. She PA's for authors and defense
24:10
now. She editing now also.
24:13
She's an art reader so she has since become very active in the
24:16
industry also. It's striking.
24:17
I'm like, how do I get a Mama in my life?
24:20
Someone who sets up my career for me, like takes it all the
24:24
way, shows up, pushes past Mama, your own discomfort in being in
24:29
such AI guess immersive environment.
24:31
And it's a quite simulating environment to help Jose out and
24:36
the way you both are pushing your success forward together.
24:39
I love that. You know, and one thing he
24:41
always tells people when we talk about relationships and how to
24:45
navigate certain things. And I've I've kind of stolen it
24:47
from him. We were actually at a concert.
24:49
I have never been to a cabaret or a burlesque type event.
24:53
Absolutely love them, fatuated with them.
24:54
So when we were at Dirty Daddy's, actually, we went to
24:57
like AI think it was like rocking country burlesque.
25:00
And it was, it was cute. And there was a entertainer in
25:03
between the sets giving the ladies a break.
25:06
And he was like, there was a bachelor party there and he's
25:09
like, Hey, audience, what's your best tip for this new guy
25:12
getting ready to get married? I had raised my hand and he
25:14
picked me and I said date each other every day.
25:17
Yeah, that's great advice. I was.
25:19
Gonna say that's kind of what the book world does too.
25:21
So, you know, you, you can read a book and you can, you can make
25:23
up your own dates and, you know, have your your own adventures.
25:26
That's awesome. I mean, it's, I love that it's
25:29
literally not just a job, but it is truly how you're both living
25:32
your lives now. And we've got friends that were
25:34
just like us that maybe felt oppressed there to where they
25:38
couldn't express themselves or didn't find their community.
25:41
And now we had some friends meet up with us in Texas and they
25:45
kind of saw a little bit of it. And now they're like, oh, wow, I
25:48
have a community. I didn't know I could talk like
25:50
this and it's OK. And so now they're going to
25:53
events. For instance, Smut Lovers in
25:55
Orlando. I've got quite a few friends
25:58
that are like, oh, I want to go to that because it's a very
26:01
educational conference where they have a lot of classes for
26:04
kinks that people never really knew about or were curious about
26:08
but didn't know how to go through it properly.
26:11
And Smut Lover does that. They have people like.
26:13
You they teach. Safety, they teach.
26:15
Consent, they teach it's it's one of the most informative out
26:19
there. And authors use it for education
26:22
and research for their books too, as well as everyday people.
26:26
Oh OK, this is a thing. And this is how I can go about
26:29
getting more immersed into this. Amazing.
26:32
Yeah. There are a lot of great
26:33
conferences out there, and I've heard really good things about
26:35
smut lovers of like half education, half author.
26:38
If you've not been Miss King Consultant, you need to go.
26:41
You're right, I do need to make it.
26:43
Unless the convention is in Vegas, I tend to not make it OK.
26:48
What advice would you give to couples who either I want to
26:53
hear both Mama and Jose both of your perspectives.
26:56
What advice would you give to couples who want to start
26:59
exploring their own kinks and their partners kinks?
27:01
I want to first start by saying that I know that a topic for you
27:05
has been that a lot of people aren't always going to find that
27:08
one person that's perfect and that aligns with their kinks and
27:12
everything else in a relationship that's that they're
27:15
looking for. I will say that the same is
27:17
probably even true for us. I would say that there's
27:20
definitely things that I'm interested in that she's not
27:23
necessarily interested in. Probably more so on that in that
27:26
aspect than the other, vice versa.
27:28
And so let's talk. I don't consider myself a daddy
27:32
Dom. I don't I would say that I'm
27:34
probably a Dom, but not necessarily a daddy Dom.
27:37
But I love when Mama calls me dad.
27:39
I don't need her to act things out or anything like that.
27:42
And she will tell you that she is not a little at all.
27:44
But if you really care about each other, in my opinion,
27:48
without going, without pushing each other, without going
27:50
outside of your comfort zones, you can still appease each other
27:54
and give in to each other's kinks to an extent and give a
27:57
little bit of it. Just because she's not a little
28:00
doesn't mean that she can't call me dad.
28:01
And I'm not asking her to do all the other stuff.
28:04
So by her doing that, it gives me just enough of what I need to
28:09
be more than happened. So I would say just because my
28:12
kinks aren't her kinks and her kinks aren't my kinks doesn't
28:15
mean that we can't compromise and find that happy medium.
28:19
And I can do whatever she wants when she wants, and she can do
28:22
whatever I want when I want, as long as it's balanced and it's
28:25
not a one way. So finding balance is the key
28:28
here for both of you of like, OK, I'm going to do a little,
28:31
you're going to do a little, and we're going to find our happy
28:34
medium together. And you can go to stores
28:37
together. I mean, there's like I think in
28:39
my, I'll call them my Shire days.
28:41
Yeah, you know, there we would go to stores and stuff like that
28:45
and there's games and different things that you can do for like
28:47
date nights and stuff like that. So we'd buy, you know, some of
28:50
those things because we we didn't have the budget to go out
28:53
and do extravagant dates and stuff like that.
28:55
So we did a lot of things at home.
28:56
So that kind of opened up that security to where it was like,
29:00
oh, I didn't pick it. It was it was just on the game,
29:02
you know, type things. So there's there's different
29:06
ways that you can kind of dive into things.
29:08
And like you said, as far as with like the daddy stuff, I
29:10
know necessarily like little culture that's that's not mine.
29:14
But that doesn't mean that somebody else doesn't enjoy that
29:17
because I know that's a big thing.
29:18
But I do enjoy the aftercare. I do like if I don't feel good,
29:21
he is the person that I go to, you know, I mean, he is my
29:23
protector and you know, so for that I can kind of meld into a
29:29
type of character that helps him with with some of his kinks.
29:34
It doesn't have to necessarily be a little.
29:35
It's just reaching a level of vulnerability.
29:38
Yeah, that allows me to take on that role.
29:40
So like right now, she just had neck surgery 2 weeks ago.
29:43
I've spent the last two weeks really doing everything to take
29:46
care of between hooking and cleaning and even showering her
29:50
and everything, brushing her hair.
29:52
Yeah, everything. And I love doing that.
29:54
It's allowed. I will say that I've really, I
29:58
hate seeing her this way, but I've really embraced the that
30:02
role over the past couple weeks. Because usually I take care of
30:05
him so that the roles have been reversed this time.
30:08
So he just, he jumped all in. It sounds like you're both so
30:11
willing to jump all in for each other.
30:14
It's this was yes, 100%, but this is I will say I got to see
30:18
a side of her coming out of anesthesia happen usually
30:23
violently. I'll when she comes out of a
30:25
surgery, she doesn't do well with anesthesia.
30:28
This time. They did a really good job of
30:29
making sure that they combated that she came out of it feisty
30:32
this time. And I was like, you better stop
30:35
because you're in a neck brace and there's not a whole lot you
30:39
can do to fit me up. Send me off right now.
30:42
And I'm not going to lie to you, I'm kind of digging.
30:45
I'm kind of digging your vulnerability.
30:47
Better stop. So, so to let you a little bit
30:49
in on that. So I'll start with what he was
30:52
saying. So with that, apparently when I
30:54
was waking up in recovery, I don't remember any of this, but
30:58
when I was waking up in recovery, I kept kind of poking
31:00
fun out and I was like, my throat hurts, you need to coat
31:02
my throat. We have this throat coat tea in
31:05
our house that we have that I can.
31:07
Yeah. So it's kind of like a little
31:08
joke. You know, it works really good.
31:10
But you know the name, it kind of makes people giggle.
31:12
Yeah. And, you know, even our
31:13
neighbor, he's like, she doesn't need throat coat.
31:15
I'll just throw her coat, her throat for her, you know, type
31:17
thing. So it was kind of funny when I
31:19
came out of surgery and that's what I was saying.
31:21
And he was just like woman. Oh, she wasn't.
31:23
And she wasn't talking about the tea either.
31:26
And the nurse was like the recovery.
31:28
The nurse was right and there. So I'm like getting in her ear
31:31
because I'm trying to maintain a little A level.
31:35
Of contain a little. I'm going to.
31:38
I'm going to myself just as much as hurts.
31:40
I'm not going to lie. It was working.
31:42
I was like between. I was like, I can we're keeping
31:45
this neck brace. Yeah, he was.
31:47
Probably like, you know, as soon as that happened.
31:50
But I was having to get in her ear and be like, hey, you
31:52
better, you better calm it down because you can.
31:54
You cannot fight the offering. I will take advantage of the
31:58
situation. You need to calm down.
32:01
We're going to be in a private room here shortly.
32:04
I swear, you know when he, when he's had surgery before
32:07
anesthesia makes him really flirty and it's hilarious.
32:10
So like we warn the nurses before and after and like as
32:14
he's waking up, he's like my wife, my wife, where's my wife?
32:17
So keep me in line. That's so cute.
32:21
Yeah. OK, thank you for that.
32:23
That's it. Sounds like communication is so
32:26
key to how you. I mean, you get to know each
32:29
other not just by spending years together, but you talk through
32:32
everything and you take. A notes yeah.
32:35
And you know, as we in the military, when we went to a lot
32:39
of marriage retreats to show people that, you know, everybody
32:43
is vulnerable to having issues and that that dialogue and that
32:46
community needs to be there. And I think one thing that we've
32:49
always pressed upon people is communication is key.
32:54
And people grow as a person and they need to grow as a person
32:58
and you need to let them do that.
32:59
But you also need to grow as a couple.
33:02
If you can't accept your partner and their growth and applaud
33:05
them for that, and then work your way through that, you're
33:08
going to grow apart as a couple. So you've got to figure out
33:12
where that happy median is. And if you can figure that out,
33:15
everything else is really easy. Oh, so I'm a kinesiologist.
33:18
That's what my degree is in. And a lot of people don't
33:22
realize that every seven years around right about 7 years it
33:25
takes our bodies are I'm sorry, you probably hear our dogs
33:28
snoring right now. You can hear it takes about 7
33:31
years for your body to completely regenerate all of its
33:35
all of its cells. So over A7 year period, you've
33:37
essentially become a completely new person.
33:40
If you think about it, yeah, your taste buds change, your
33:42
body chemistry changes, your body makeup changes, all of that
33:46
changes. So a lot of people that are
33:47
like, well, that's not the they're not the same person I
33:49
married. Nobody is ever going to be the
33:51
same person 10 years from now that they were today.
33:54
So it's either, but I will say that the more time you work on
33:58
each other and work towards staying together, the more you
34:01
can grow together. So people that people that grow
34:05
apart, typically from what I've seen, it's because they grow.
34:09
They grow as individuals and not as a couple.
34:12
You've got to take the time to acknowledge that you're both
34:15
going to change. You've got to be willing to work
34:17
through the hard times. You've got to figure out what it
34:20
is and what it is you're willing to accept and this new person
34:23
and what you're not. And I will tell you that a lot
34:26
of times, if both people care about each other, they will
34:29
figure out how to make things work.
34:32
She's not going to ever ask me to be a different person, but if
34:35
she needs me to be something, if there's something she needs me
34:38
to be, I'm going to work towards being that because I want to be
34:41
that for her. As long as she's not asking me
34:43
to change who I am, I can change what I do all day long.
34:46
Wow, That was such solid advice that I think I'm going to hold
34:50
that clip and keep coming back to it because I think that
34:53
that's the ideal you've literally just described.
34:56
I think that's what so many of us are searching for, especially
34:59
after being in relationships where you grow apart.
35:01
And I, Jose, that's a really good point.
35:03
You know, a lot of relationships end at the seven-year mark, and
35:07
when you think about a year, that's when you're fully a
35:09
different person, as you've described.
35:11
Yeah. I would say probably A7 year
35:13
mark. And then like when people go
35:15
through their midlife crisis because again, they don't know
35:19
who they are. They've been this half their
35:22
life and now they're trying to figure out what the latter part
35:24
of their life is going to be. So I think even as a person and
35:28
as a couple, when you can find that happy balance and be happy
35:31
with who you are and grow, that leads into other fun things like
35:35
your industry and. What a fun It's a fun world to
35:37
explore in when you're ready for it, if you're ready for it, and.
35:41
Keep you on your toes every day. It's fun.
35:43
It's every, The way that we look at things is everything is an
35:46
opportunity and a teachable moment and a life changing
35:51
opportunity. So you've got to be open to
35:53
things and just kind of, we just kind of go with it.
35:55
You know, we, I used to be a planner.
35:57
I used to have to have schedules and I used to have to know
36:00
everything. Now we just kind of go with it
36:02
and it's it's so much more fun. And I think it's, I mean, it
36:05
sounds like that hasn't just paid off within your
36:07
relationship, but in your career and the direction it's taken too
36:10
because Jose, like it didn't, it didn't stop at modeling, it
36:14
didn't stop at cover modeling. You have now moved into acting.
36:18
So I'll start that by saying there's a number of authors in
36:23
the industry that have been pushing me to write a book for a
36:25
while. There's a number of my buddies,
36:27
military buddies within the special operations community of
36:30
all people who have lived incredible lives and had
36:32
incredible military careers that have told me I need to write a
36:34
book. Because as much as they've done
36:36
within the soft community, they've not been professional
36:38
fighters. They've not been the actors,
36:41
they've not been models. They've not been married 25
36:43
years. They've not had four daughters.
36:45
And and it's and it's, yeah, yeah.
36:49
But it's, but it's, it's, I attribute a lot of this to me
36:54
always being to your point, always being willing to take on
36:58
that next challenge or that next opportunity.
37:01
I'm always open to that next opportunity.
37:03
I still work within. I was I worked in the personal
37:06
protection realm when I first got out of the Army for a big
37:09
name entertainer. I've done a lot of stuff, but
37:11
yes, it's the acting side. It has definitely LED into that.
37:16
I've been on a number of real crime TV series, snapped, Fatal
37:20
Attraction, a few others. I was in a Hallmark, a lifetime
37:23
Christmas movie with Mario Lopez and Jana Kramer.
37:26
This those were all just like acting.
37:29
Well, that was a an extra role. This movie that's coming out
37:33
this fall. I spent half the year last year
37:36
shooting that between working in the defense industry and doing
37:39
the book, the book cover stuff. And it's a big Warner Brothers
37:43
film. All Thomas Anderson is the
37:45
director. He was the director for Boogie
37:47
Nights and Licorice Pizza. Very well.
37:51
Big time director. The movie starring Leonardo
37:54
DiCaprio, Sean Penn, Regina Hall, Manicio Del Toro.
37:57
It's a big cast and it was a blast to shoot.
38:00
But yeah, I got a pretty significant role.
38:03
Me and a few of my special operations buddies got called in
38:05
to to work this project and it was an absolute blast.
38:09
But that comes out this this September.
38:11
Awesome. So much so that he actually was
38:14
wanting to audition for a role in Junior Awards Series 2 and he
38:20
could not trim his beard, he could not cut his hair.
38:23
So because of that, he obviously looks older than what he is.
38:27
So he auditioned anyways. But he was like, hey, I have to
38:29
explain this is what's going on. But if you look at My Portfolio
38:33
and my social media pages, you can see how well I age and can
38:37
revert back to certain looks. I didn't get the rule.
38:41
We still love her. We just started a polycon so it
38:43
was nice. I love that.
38:45
And how so? How did you even get into the
38:47
acting side of things through the modeling?
38:50
Through the there was somebody who followed me.
38:52
They recommended that I get in with this agency out of
38:55
Knoxville. I jumped into that, sent them
38:57
some information. They were all in immediately.
39:01
They were shocked. Honestly, I've been extremely
39:03
lucky, extremely lucky. I've been afforded opportunities
39:06
that right out of the gate that most people don't get lucky.
39:09
And hard working though lucky and hard work though that three
39:11
month diet, you can't. That's not luck, that's hard.
39:14
Work, yes. So there's a formula for
39:17
success. It essentially says that when in
39:19
hard work, preparation meets opportunity.
39:21
Wait, hard work and what? And preparation.
39:23
Preparation meets opportunity. That makes sense.
39:26
OK, you. Got your other your hard work
39:28
thing that you always say too and talent.
39:30
Oh yeah, hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
39:32
Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
39:35
Yes, all right, I need to like I have a post it note somewhere.
39:38
I need to write these down. That's not that's not mine
39:41
though. Still, they're good reminders.
39:45
What advice do you have for someone who thinks that they
39:48
have what it takes to be in the cover model industry?
39:51
What advice do you give people who come to and ask about it?
39:53
Just do it. Find, find a photographer, find
39:57
a photographer, do the shoot, put it out there, see who bites.
40:00
OK, Honestly, this isn't anything that I ever thought I'd
40:02
do. Like I said, I grew up being
40:04
rejected and picked on. This is not.
40:06
I asked her a couple years ago. I was like, when this really
40:09
took off. I was like, when did I become
40:11
this guy? Typical Mama answer was you've
40:13
always been that guy. I'm just don't.
40:15
I'm just was the first one to know it.
40:17
Oh my God. I love it.
40:19
I have chills. I really do.
40:22
Yeah. I tell people.
40:23
I have people that joke that are like, I do it, but I don't look
40:27
like or blah, blah, blah, or they joke.
40:28
I was thinking about doing it. Everybody's got their type.
40:31
Everybody's got their type, and there's a ton of books out there
40:34
and there's a ton of subgenres. There's all kinds of looks out
40:38
there. People are looking for all kinds
40:39
of images and looks. You don't know what you're
40:41
capable of doing if you don't just do it.
40:44
If an opportunity presents itself, jump on it.
40:46
If the opportunity doesn't present itself, make it happen.
40:49
But what that's good? Say I wanted to be a cover
40:52
model. Obviously I'm not a hot silver
40:55
fox daddy, but if I wanted to be a cover model, what could I do?
40:59
You said find a photographer. Find a photographer, reach out
41:02
to to authors. You wouldn't believe how many
41:05
authors just find random people on the street.
41:07
Waiters while they're out eating lunch.
41:09
Wow. People that they run into in the
41:10
grocery store. Authors will see and be like,
41:12
have you ever thought about being on the cover?
41:13
I hear that from authors all the time.
41:15
If they're genuinely, if let's say they're listening to this or
41:19
watching this, I feel like I've built a good enough name for
41:22
myself now that if anybody's interested and they genuinely
41:25
want to try it, reach out to me. I will shoot, I'll communicate
41:28
with photographers and I'll see what I can do to get.
41:31
I did it at a Polycon. There was a, there was a
41:33
gentleman who he was walking up and his wife and he was this
41:36
dark eye kind of kind of a heavier set, not not Husky, but
41:42
a bigger boy. And as he was walking up, had a
41:45
beard, long hair and everything, I'm like, I could see that dude
41:47
on a cover. And as he got closer, he had a
41:49
shirt that says, put me on your covers.
41:51
And he'd never done it before. He'd never been there before,
41:53
but he shot a shot. He showed up this big event with
41:56
a shirt saying, here I am. And I told him I was like, dude,
42:00
if you're serious about this, by all means, reach out to me.
42:03
I took a quick picture of him. I sent his picture to a
42:05
photographer. She was all about it.
42:06
I'm just waiting for him to reach back out to me.
42:08
But that dude shot a shot. So if you're out there and you
42:11
want to do it, find somebody. The industry not hard to find.
42:13
Reach out to him and tell them, hey look, I'm interested in
42:16
doing this. You think I you think it's
42:18
something I could? Do be willing to go for it.
42:20
OK. And where can we find?
42:25
You, Jose. So Jose El Barrero, that's
42:47
BARREIRO, look him up. And as he said, if you are
42:52
interested in this and you're serious about it, go check him.
42:55
Outreach out. I want everyone going after
42:57
their dreams, whether that's the kinky life that they fantasize
43:01
about or I guess the career they want as a potential cover model.
43:05
Jose and Andrea, thank you so much for being here today.
43:08
This was really, this was just so promising to know that first
43:12
of all, dreams can come true even once you don't realize you
43:14
have. In addition to that, real love
43:17
exists. It is there.
43:19
You just it's not easy. You work for it.
43:21
And honestly, you're never too old to figure out who you are.
43:25
Like neither one of us really thought of ourselves as kinky
43:29
people. But I can tell you that over
43:30
probably the past four or five years, we've definitely found
43:33
that we are more so than we ever thought that we were.
43:36
So, and we've continually reinventing ourselves.
43:40
But but yeah, you're never too old to find out who you are.
43:43
You. Have to be able to persevere and
43:44
adapt. And, you know, we always tease
43:46
everybody and we tell them we're like, yeah, we're 40 years old.
43:48
We're still trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow
43:50
up. I feel the same way, although
43:53
I'm I'm coasting well here as King Consultant.
43:55
But yeah, absolutely. It's a constant exploration.
43:59
All right. Thank you both.