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Mojo Monday - Preparing for a Stressful Event: A Mind-Body Approach · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Welcome to this week's Mojo Monday. I'm Carl Taylor,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and today I want to give you some tips for
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: preparing for an event that might stir up worry or stress,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: self doubt, or even full blown anxiety. And this episode
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: is actually inspired by my daughter. So Kira is about
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: to start her year twelve exams. So those who are
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: in Victoria, the year twelve students around the entire state
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: have their first exam, which is English, coming up this Tuesday.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure what's happening with the students in other states,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: but I know this is year twelve exam time, so
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  Speaker 1: it can be really really stressful time for a lot
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  Speaker 1: of students and also a lot of parents. But whether
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you're a student facing exams or you know, you could
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: be someone who's preparing for a big presentation, or going
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: for a job interview, or even heading out on a
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: first date, which could be really nerve wracking. These tips
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: are all relevant for any situation that is coming up
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: in the near future. And I'll be looking at this
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  Speaker 1: through the lenses of ACT, which is acceptance, commitment therapy,
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  Speaker 1: Stoic philosophy, and Marita therapy. And I also will talk
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: about how we can work on our physiology when we're
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  Speaker 1: under stressed, so we can then go to that event,
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  Speaker 1: whether it's an exam or a talk or whatever it is,
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  Speaker 1: so we can be as optimal as we can be.
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  Speaker 1: So it's important to have an understanding and accept that
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  Speaker 1: stress and anxiety are a natural human response to any
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  Speaker 1: sort of challenge and any sort of important challenge. And
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  Speaker 1: so instead of trying to get rid of these symptoms,
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  Speaker 1: which is often what our Western approach is, we tend
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: to look at anxiety stress as being bad and so
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: it's something that we need to fix or we need
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  Speaker 1: to get rid of. But with ACT and Marita therapy,
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  Speaker 1: we accept that this is a normal part of the
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: human experience and then we focus our attention on what
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  Speaker 1: is important to us and take effective action that serves
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: the moment. And so let's start with a mindset technique
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  Speaker 1: called the Stockdale paradox. And this technique is named after
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  Speaker 1: James Stopdale who was a Vietnam War prisoner in Northern Vietnam.
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  Speaker 1: He managed to survive horrendous conditions and he still in
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: that time was a leader and he stayed resilient by
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: balancing two things, and that is maintaining faith that he
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  Speaker 1: get through it while also facing the reality of his situation.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: And this morning my daughter told me that she has
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  Speaker 1: faith that she will do well on her exam, and
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  Speaker 1: that that's brilliant, that's fantastic. That's what every parent would
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: want to hear. There is another side to it. You know,
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  Speaker 1: she doesn't know what questions will be asked on the exam.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: She doesn't know who she's going to be sitting next
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  Speaker 1: to you. You know, she's going to be sitting next to
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  Speaker 1: somebody who's like coughing and sniffing, and she and she
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: certainly doesn't know what the outcome will be. So it's
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  Speaker 1: all these unpredictable details of exam day that create a
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: bit of that uncertainty because they're in the future. So
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: the Stockdale paradox reminds us to keep that faith, which
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: is so important, but also at the same time accept
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  Speaker 1: the uncertainty of what's to come, even when it's so
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  Speaker 1: uncomfortable to do that, but just knowing that, yes, there
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  Speaker 1: will be uncertainty. So we need to make room for
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  Speaker 1: that without trying to change or fix it, which is
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  Speaker 1: something that we can't do. So it's not about false
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  Speaker 1: optimism or ignoring reality. It's about holding both truths, so
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  Speaker 1: it's kind of that balance. And next is accepting where
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  Speaker 1: we're at right now that this is really critical. So
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  Speaker 1: leading up to a big event, it's easy to slip
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  Speaker 1: into the oh, I should have done this, or I
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  Speaker 1: should have done that, and thoughts like I should have
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  Speaker 1: studied more or I shouldn't have gone out so late
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  Speaker 1: on the weekend. But staying in this space of regret
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  Speaker 1: isn't helpful. Reality is what it is, and we have
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  Speaker 1: to not only accept where we're at right now, even
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  Speaker 1: if it feels less than ideal, but accept the regret
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: thoughts that show up and then put our attention and
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  Speaker 1: focus on, Okay, what needs to be done, what do
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  Speaker 1: I need to do? What do I need to do now?
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  Speaker 1: And if you've done the work, then go into that
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  Speaker 1: exam or that speech or that interview proud of the
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  Speaker 1: effort that you put in, regardless of the outcome. So
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  Speaker 1: now let's talk about the body or what we would
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  Speaker 1: call a physiological response to the worried thoughts that you
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  Speaker 1: can have in the lead up to an event. And
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  Speaker 1: of course this is anxiety showing up physically in our
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  Speaker 1: body and it's a completely normal response to something that
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  Speaker 1: we really care about. And Marita therapy teaches us that
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  Speaker 1: anxiety and desire, the desire for something, are two sides
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  Speaker 1: of the same coin. So it's like the desire to
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  Speaker 1: do well, the desire to be competent, you know, the
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  Speaker 1: desire to get the mark that you want. But there's
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  Speaker 1: two sides to the coin here. You can't have one.
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  Speaker 1: You can't have the desire without the anxiety. So if
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  Speaker 1: you want to avoid the anxiety or get it rid
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  Speaker 1: of the anxiety, you would have to give up what
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  Speaker 1: you care about. So instead of trying to get rid
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  Speaker 1: of the anxiety, which is normal response, we can accept
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  Speaker 1: that side of the coin and then we can turn
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  Speaker 1: it over to the why, the purpose, the reason we care.
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  Speaker 1: And when we can balance the two sides of that coin,
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  Speaker 1: then we can feel more balanced in ourselves. Next is
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  Speaker 1: what we want to put our focus on. We want
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  Speaker 1: to put our focus on the process, not the outcome.
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  Speaker 1: Of course, there's an outcome that we desire, an outcome
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  Speaker 1: that we want, but that is not what we can control.
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  Speaker 1: What we can control is what we do now in
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  Speaker 1: the process, and that's been an absolute game changer for
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  Speaker 1: me when I'm stressed about an event, And this is
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  Speaker 1: what we have tried to instill in Kira while she's
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  Speaker 1: managing these emotions around exam time. So Epictetis the stoic
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  Speaker 1: philosopher says that our lives are in two zones. Zone
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  Speaker 1: one are all the things that we can control, and
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  Speaker 1: zone two are all the things that we can't control.
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  Speaker 1: And the future, the outcome, the uncertainty, they are all
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  Speaker 1: in zone two. And it's really helpful to identify whether
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  Speaker 1: the things that you are stressing about are they in
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  Speaker 1: zone one or zone two? Are they the things that
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  Speaker 1: we can control or is it something that we can't control.
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  Speaker 1: And if you want to bring a sense of control,
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  Speaker 1: then get clear on what is in your zone one
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  Speaker 1: and focus on that. And that includes how we respond
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  Speaker 1: to everything. In zone two includes where we put our attention.
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  Speaker 1: If we talk about that flash light of attention, where
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  Speaker 1: that beam of light is your attention, and you have
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: control over where that beam of light shines, and we
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  Speaker 1: have control over how we behave And of course there
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  Speaker 1: are things we can do to calm the body. And
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  Speaker 1: this is in our zone one. And I thought i'd
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  Speaker 1: go through what we advise Kira to do in the
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  Speaker 1: lead up to her exam and also the morning of
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  Speaker 1: her exam. So exercise is imperative for good brain function.
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  Speaker 1: So what we advise Kira is to do some sort
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  Speaker 1: of exercise every single day, and the more vigorously exercise,
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  Speaker 1: the better. But even going for a fast paced walk
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  Speaker 1: is really good as long as you get your heart
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  Speaker 1: rate up. And what exercise does is it increases what
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  Speaker 1: we call BDNF in the brain, which is critical for
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  Speaker 1: learning and memory, and it boosts blood flow and oxygen
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  Speaker 1: to the brain, and it boosts those levels of positive neurotransmitters,
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  Speaker 1: the hormone such as serotonin, nora, drenaline, dopamine, and endorphins,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: which I mean, who wouldn't want more of those? And
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  Speaker 1: all these work together to enhance our mood, our focus,
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  Speaker 1: and our motivation. And exercise will also help you burn
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  Speaker 1: up those stress foremones because remember when we're stress, we're
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  Speaker 1: going into that fight or flight mode and so helping
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  Speaker 1: you to regain control. And it has a huge positive
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  Speaker 1: impact on our sleep as well, and we know that
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  Speaker 1: sleep is the fundamental of our wellness. So Kira will
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  Speaker 1: exercise the morning of her exam. She'll do some short,
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  Speaker 1: sharp and intense exercise like rowing or go for a run,
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  Speaker 1: and that's in order for her to turn her brain
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  Speaker 1: into a high performance machine. So staying hydrated is also
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  Speaker 1: really imperative for brain function as the brain is mainly
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  Speaker 1: made up largely of water and dehydration can be real
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  Speaker 1: detrimental on cognitive function, so really important that we stay hydrated.
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  Speaker 1: Kira also prioritizes her sleep, so getting to bed at
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  Speaker 1: a reasonable time, she gets her mobile out of her
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  Speaker 1: room and she has at least half an hour without
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  Speaker 1: any screen before bed, which really helps her. It helps
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  Speaker 1: her sleep and it helps her perform at her best.
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  Speaker 1: And this is why many athletes and performance coaches say
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  Speaker 1: that sleep is a weapon. And then breath works, so
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  Speaker 1: slow controlled breathing is a really great way to control
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  Speaker 1: your arousal and bring your brain and your body back
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  Speaker 1: into that zone where you can perform at your best.
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  Speaker 1: And a really good technique is box breathing, where you
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  Speaker 1: breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds,
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  Speaker 1: breathe out for four seconds, then hold for four seconds,
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  Speaker 1: or another one is to breathe in for four second
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  Speaker 1: and then out for six seconds. As long as the
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  Speaker 1: outbreath is longer than the in breadth, so you can
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  Speaker 1: tap into that parasympathetic nervous system that will help calm
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  Speaker 1: your body and your mind. So all these practices are
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  Speaker 1: powerful ways to prepare for any challenge that brings up
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  Speaker 1: stress and anxiety. So when that big day comes when
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  Speaker 1: you need to perform at your best, you can do
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  Speaker 1: these things so you can be as optimal as you
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  Speaker 1: can be. And remember, your attention is one of your
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  Speaker 1: best allies. If you can really take control over where
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  Speaker 1: your attention is and notice if your attention is too
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  Speaker 1: much on the internal experience, you can redirect it from
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  Speaker 1: the internal to the external and really focus on what
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  Speaker 1: you need to do. So thank you so much for listening.
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  Speaker 1: I really hope this has helped, especially if you are
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  Speaker 1: going into year twelve exams, you've got kids who are
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: going into year twelve exams, or any event that you
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  Speaker 1: are working towards. And I hope it's been of value.
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  Speaker 1: So I will see you next week. Bye,