Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Amos & Andrew

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Amos & Andrew · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. It's been a few months now
0:22
that I've been hearing you guys talk about...
0:24
Buzzballs? Yeah. This is my inaugural... Ballin'.
0:28
Yeah. And my first and only ball. I'm not sure
0:33
how much of it this would take to, you know,
0:36
do away with two years of sobriety, but we'll
0:38
find out. I don't think this is going to make
0:40
you want to drink. No. Oh! Yeah. Pretty sure
0:45
you're safe on having a little taster of that
0:47
one. I could go again. It's like Boone's Farm.
0:50
Yeah. It's like Smarties. Like the candies, but...
0:53
No, that's like the medicine my dad used to make
0:55
me take. Like the fucking, like, red shit. oh
0:57
that's boone's farm okay yep oh man well if uh
1:03
tiffany if you're ever listening to this which
1:04
i know you won't be but no you're right that
1:05
was awful tiffany's my uh florida friend who
1:09
uh when i'm like my friends have been drinking
1:11
buzz balls they're this she was just like no
1:13
i'm from florida i know Yeah, well, I mean, it's
1:15
a Texas product, so it's made like founded by
1:18
women. So we're allies. Also, shout out to Josie
1:22
for providing this. So this this week, we've
1:26
got our our buzzball provided by Josie and we
1:29
are drinking the I'm guessing it's a seasonal
1:32
one. It's a witch's potion and it is caramel
1:36
apple flavored. that's not what i get it's supposed
1:40
to be candy apple yeah holy shit it's like those
1:43
stupid fucking suckers it's kind of like us just
1:46
a bunch of stupid suckers pretty much peter you're
1:49
my sponsor now okay great i'll give you uh 10
1:51
of whatever we get for one of your kidneys don't
1:53
worry 10 that's not bad It's my kidney, though.
1:57
I'm the one doing all the work here. That's just
1:59
10 % of our next buzzball. I'm trading organs
2:01
for buzzballs these days. Just replace them in
2:04
your body with buzzballs. Even though I found
2:06
a much cheaper place to get buzzballs. Inflation's
2:09
really hitting hard. This just tastes like a
2:11
whore hangover. Yeah. It's not going to be good.
2:15
Yeah, it's a little sour. A little horny. A little
2:19
bit horny. exactly a buzz ball sour and horny
2:24
yep speaking of sexy that's not a segue we have
2:28
a freeman here who's looking sexy aloha looking
2:30
fit yeah freeman long time are you a cage dancer
2:35
or sparkle buddy shit i'm a cage dancer long
2:36
time listener first time caller i've said it
2:39
a million times how do i know it is it is freeman's
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first time yeah and you you picked a a surprisingly
2:45
fun movie I enjoyed it much more than than the
2:51
reviews. But, you know, that's because I'm my
2:53
first. So this week on Cage Magical and Roundabout
2:57
Way meeting Nicolas Cage, I'm your host, Sean.
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Here's my host, Nick, and our producer, Peter.
3:01
Hello. And we are discussing the 1993 movie Amos
3:05
and Andrew. They're all the information up front.
3:08
Yeah. I mean, we'll go through characters and
3:09
actors and stuff because it's actually fucking
3:11
dotted with good actors. Yeah. We just haven't
3:14
gotten all that information out at the beginning
3:16
of it. No, we've been terrible. sorry john i
3:19
saw so when i watched the start of this movie
3:23
last night i saw the what i'm assuming was the
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poster art from the original release of nick
3:28
cage and sam jackson handcuffed together with
3:30
a cop driving behind him and my immediate thought
3:33
was to text peter nick and say i call not sam
3:36
jackson just to be safe and i think that's a
3:39
cowardly move This is a movie with some blackface,
3:43
inadvertently. It's not inadvertently. It's very
3:47
inadvertently. It's night ops. Is there two or
3:52
three blackface moments in this? There's three.
3:55
But one guy twice. Yes. He just really likes
4:00
his night ops. Yeah, night ops. So Freeman, as
4:05
our guest, you get the lovely job of trying to
4:07
give a plot summary for us. um as best you can
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i i planned ahead here oh a script i like it
4:14
yes yes uh oh yeah just the wikipedia article
4:17
nice rich and famous but not famous enough black
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man andrew sterling buys a summer home on some
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massachusetts island his racist neighbors unaware
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of their new neighbor try and get the guy killed
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in his own home for being black uh the villains
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in this whole thing are most definitely phil
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and judy gilman Uh, they're, I love the Gilman's
4:40
are so horny and racist. They're just so like,
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it's just immediately. They just, they just,
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I mean, they just pull the covers off blatant
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racism. Uh, they said everything in motion, uh,
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and the local sheriff just eats it up. It's an
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election year. It is. It is. Uh, he decides that
4:58
he's going to put on a spectacle, uh, and help
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this out with his political aspirations. Of course,
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they end up screwing it all up and then they
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need a fall guy. Enter Nicolas Cage, Amos O'Dell.
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Amos is already in police custody, so it's nice
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and handy. They can just take him and and try
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to make him be the fall guy for all this after
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they finish shooting up poor Andrew Sterling's
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home. It's it's just awful. Did you write it's
5:30
just awful? No, no, no. uh it was a killer delivery
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like inflection cues since this is a comedy just
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things keep going wrong and wrong it's like everything
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that can go wrong pretty much does nobody manages
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to do anything uh right it gets a little over
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kind of long and drawn out i get a little bit
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like just like come on guys like move things
5:52
along but it is tidy it does it trucks right
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along tight 90 Yeah. And I mean, like everything
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ties up nicely, like they lay out the jokes,
6:00
they set them up, knock them down. Yeah. At some
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point, it gets confused that there must be a
6:07
hostage situation. And then it comes out that
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Andrew Sterling is the hostage. Cue up my probably
6:14
my favorite character in this whole thing is
6:16
Reverend Fenton Brunch. Oh, he's so good. That
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was my second text after starting this movie.
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Giancarlo Esposito. So fucking good. Yes, I did
6:26
not expect that. Oh, that brought me a lot of
6:29
joy. I really loved the multiple buses loading
6:32
up with all the protesters and the singing and
6:35
that they were all going to the island to save
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Brother Sterling. But somehow, though, because
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the police are just such morons early in this
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whole hostage situation, Amos and Andrew just
6:45
walk out the back door of Andrew's house and
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go next door to the neighbor's place, the Gilman's.
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And and they just hide out there. We get all
6:55
kinds of conflict. Then the Gilman's come home.
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And they're like, and Nicolas Cage is like, I
7:01
want my I want your car. And poor Mr. Gilman
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is like, no. I'm not giving you that car. It's
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a gift from my wife. Yeah, his second wife. And
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so then Nicolas Cage turns to Mr. Gilman's wife,
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Phil's wife, and says, hey, Judy, I'm sorry.
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We got to take the car. Yeah. And to that point,
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Phil's like, no, no, not Judy. It was my second
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wife that gave me this car. Judy is my fucking
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wife. Yeah, apparently the third wife. The other
7:28
bit in here is that for some reason, Nicolas
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Cage keeps ordering pizza everywhere he goes.
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Well, he has been in jail. Yeah. Well, and the
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second reason, the second time he orders pizza
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is because he's trying to steal the pizza van
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so he can have a getaway car. Yeah. Yes. I think
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also, though, he did see if you if you remember,
7:47
we did see the pizza girl going into the police
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station. That's his other quirky character trait
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is he likes underage girls. They should have
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probably played that a little different because
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he's like a pretty likable criminal. And then
8:00
it's like drop that in there. Come on. Yeah,
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I honestly thought they were going to lead into
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it a little more. And I was like, oh, no, how
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taboo is this going to go? Yeah, I was I was
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kind of worried when he asked her age and she
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said 17 and then he. didn't stop that like something
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really awkward was gonna happen it was uh it
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was endearing and heartwarming that she just
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wrote his phone number her phone number on his
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hand yeah and we never see her again thankfully
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yeah we see her one more time she drops the tape
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off with the press true oh that's true yeah debbie
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does give the press the tape that's that's a
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good point uh ultimately It gets down to the
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point where Andrew's just trying to get home
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and have a quiet night. Amos just wants to get
8:40
off the damn island. He wants to get to Canada
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and probably just get off in general because
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he's been in prison. And so he ends up getting
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the car and Andrew decides, I think that he's
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just going home. He's just done with all this
8:53
stuff. He wants a quiet night. But then he's
8:55
out in the middle of this field and he sees his
8:57
house on fire. And then he can hear the bloodhounds
9:00
chasing after him. And at this point, Bloodhound
9:03
Bob. Yes, Bloodhound Bob. And at this point,
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then what? Amos shows up in the car driving through
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the field, picks up Andrew. And then next thing
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you know, they're on a boat leaving the island.
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Yeah, they just like get out. They just did.
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That's it. Yeah. And I'm just like. this is a
9:22
this is an island like the police are trying
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to control this whole situation it's like maybe
9:27
put out a bolo for like white guy black guy in
9:29
a car there was a random checkpoint on the island
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but no checkpoint at the ferry terminal like
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it's an island yeah they are really bad cops
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that's that's my feeling on this one the theme
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of this entire movie is cops are dumb dumb dumbs
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all right so this we touched on at the beginning
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but like this this movie is packed with fucking
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actors right so nick cage is amos odell sam sam
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jackson i love nicholas cage yeah he's great
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uh sam jackson is andrew sterling brad dorff
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is uh donnie donaldson um he's probably most
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famous for most of us as grimo worm tongue uh
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from the lord of the rings sean doesn't know
10:04
what that is i don't know what a harry potter
10:06
is either yeah nerd dabney coleman is the chief
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of police um who's that so he was in like tootsie
10:15
and war games back in the day with um what broderick
10:19
yeah when he was a little boy before he killed
10:23
a guy yeah and then you've got mail he's just
10:25
like one of those guys who's been around for
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a long time he's played like a doofy cop before
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too yeah with a mustache definitely seen him
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around i don't know what he's been that's this
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movie is i've seen them you know it's like yeah
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that face a lot of character actors so michael
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learner is the gilman yeah phil phil gilman um
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and he's just another one of those he's been
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in like barton fink harlem knights he's just
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in he was in the godzilla movie with matthew
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broderick um after he killed a guy yeah maybe
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i don't know matthew broderick ran that guy over
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carlo esposito and then my favorite is is uh
11:00
bob balaban who plays the the guy who is like
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a hostage negotiator on the phone he's so good
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yeah rafink rafink yeah that was my favorite
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running bit throughout the whole thing because
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he's like calls into andrew's house after amos
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andrew have left uh the chief of police is just
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tied to a chair he can't talk and he's just talking
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through the voicemail and just like yes like
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turns out like just regressing his own memories
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like i wanted a pony my parents got me a turtle
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nine turtles but i still wanted that pony My
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favorite quote of his is actually my favorite
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from this movie. It's just this scene where like
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there's mayhem going on everywhere. He's in the
11:43
cop car with this like remote sat phone or whatever.
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And he's just talking to nobody. He's just monologuing.
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I remember my 11th birthday. I had a party and
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my mom and dad hired a clown. It was a very,
11:53
very funny clown. And he juggled and did magic
11:55
tricks. My friend Ruby peed on the floor. She
11:58
was really embarrassed, but I had a good time.
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Then my mom called him for my 12th birthday and
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his wife answered and said, oh, he's not a clown
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anymore. He's going to go to school to be a dental
12:07
technician. I don't think I'll ever forget that
12:09
moment. Driving this guy to kill everybody. Yeah,
12:15
I enjoyed this film. I'm just going to say that
12:17
up top that this was a fun movie that people
12:22
could pick apart me, but still enjoy. I really
12:26
enjoyed myself with it. just like what second
12:30
scene getting a close -up on a lawn jockey uh
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it really set the tone for me and i was like
12:38
oh okay that's gonna be the problem in this movie
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and it was yeah immediately too i mean like the
12:44
conflict starts four minutes in or something
12:46
like that it's like they they see sam jackson
12:49
driving a car they think it's somebody else then
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they see him in his now home don't realize he's
12:54
supposed to be there and They think it's like
12:56
their neighbor because these are summer homes.
12:58
So they're like they don't see people often,
13:01
but they think it's like one of the neighbors
13:02
and one of the neighbor's kids is like being
13:04
held hostage. The Gilman's. You're right. They
13:07
are the villains. They are the villains like
13:09
from the jump. And then as soon as like Amos
13:12
and Andrew are in the house and they realize
13:13
that they made a mistake, they're trying to like
13:14
play all nice, all goody goody. It's like, oh,
13:16
we'd love to have you and your wife over. Even
13:19
if she is white. Even if she is white. But then
13:24
like. Turns out she's not. Yeah, Amos has. Oh,
13:27
spoiler. Amos has their like their interview
13:32
with the press junket. They're not actually the
13:35
press, but they want to like they're kind of
13:37
like ambulance chasers. Yeah, they're like that.
13:40
What's his face from Nightcrawler? Like they
13:43
just go out and take. Oh, yeah. That was a good.
13:46
That is a fun moment, though, when I would. Cage
13:50
puts on the video and he knows that it's outing
13:52
these people being racist shits. And they're
13:55
just watching. He's just played it back and forth.
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I'm no racist, but when you see a black man in
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a house carrying a serial killer, you know what's
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going on. Oh, yeah. I love I'm no racist. And
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then they have a dog named Rommel. this is one
14:11
of those also that dog is awesome that dog was
14:13
great i do love the line of like uh sam jackson
14:16
andrew is allergic to dogs and rama wants to
14:19
shake shake his hand and nicholas cage is like
14:22
shake his hands like that dog doesn't like black
14:24
people's like well he's not gonna like the next
14:26
one if you don't shake his hand yeah No, yeah,
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Amos is very pragmatic when it comes to that
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stuff. I really appreciate him calling because
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Samuel Jackson is great at getting righteous.
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Yeah, he cuts through it pretty, pretty well.
14:42
But, you know, there are points where I'm like,
14:43
there hasn't been a joke in a minute. And I'm
14:45
like, this is touching on some serious, like
14:47
racial stuff. Like the chief of police, like
14:51
gets his boots knocked off when he's like. tied
14:53
up and like he runs out he gets home alone with
14:55
broken glass i'm like all right there's the comedy
14:57
yeah i love dabney coleman after his feet got
14:59
fucked up with the glass anytime he's running
15:01
or walking he has to do that like high stepping
15:03
thing yeah why did he call him the n -word when
15:08
he went in so he goes into the the chief of police
15:10
goes into the house because he he technically
15:13
holds all the cards yeah and he's being a super
15:16
racist douche and then sam jackson clocks him
15:20
brian pans him Yeah, just pan to the head. Not
15:23
a good clank, but like, why did he say that?
15:27
I felt like he was trying to lean into the character
15:30
bit to try to control Amos more. The kind read
15:36
is, I don't care about this person, so you don't
15:40
hold any, like, comments here. Trying to erase
15:43
Amos' leverage. But you could have done that
15:45
without dropping the N -bomb. Yeah. Yeah, he
15:48
does get paid for it. So, I mean, and then later
15:50
on, he's, you know, going to he says he's going
15:52
to charge Andrew with the attempted murder. Yes.
15:57
For clocking him in the face. I forgot about
15:59
that part. Yeah. So, you know, just bad cops
16:01
all over. And that kind of I feel like that gets
16:03
Andrew on the run with Amos. Yeah. So that that
16:06
kind of brings them a little more as kindred
16:07
spirits at that point. I will say certainly helps
16:10
endear their friendship at the end. I'm like,
16:12
this wasn't earned, but I'm glad they found it.
16:14
You only need 90 minutes. I know, but like they
16:17
like they're just kind of like Andrew's a hostage.
16:21
They have a talk about like race relations. They
16:25
get into a tussle in the backyard. They're best
16:29
friends. Yeah, well, I'm yeah, I'm not going
16:32
to say that like they really nailed it, but I
16:35
enjoy their time on screen together. Yeah, certainly.
16:38
Like, I don't think either of them changed much.
16:42
Sam Jackson did find his way a little more back
16:45
towards the center because of Amos is constant
16:49
calling him on his shit. Yeah, which was good.
16:52
I can't say that Amos became a better person
16:55
through this film. No, still has lousy sense
16:58
of direction. I mean, he still tried to man on
17:00
that 17 year old. Yeah, it's true. He was originally
17:03
arrested for delinquency, aiding in the delinquency
17:06
of a minor. That was the official charge. The
17:10
lines on all that are rough. Freeman, you said
17:13
that you were going to try and watch this twice.
17:14
Did you end up watching it twice? How did it
17:16
hold up on the second watching within, you know,
17:18
two weeks or whatever? Well, so the first one
17:20
I was with Elizabeth. uh and we watched um well
17:24
like as she said she i just put it on and she
17:27
reluctantly was in the room uh about a half an
17:30
hour in she's kind of starting to pay attention
17:32
the last third she definitely was like okay i'm
17:35
on board with this and i think she enjoyed it
17:38
we had a good laugh the first go around the second
17:40
go you know where everything is going so it's
17:44
not quite as funny but also like there were things
17:48
I was excited for that I was happy about. Like,
17:51
like honestly, like the whole scene where the
17:54
chief of police does drop the N word and then
17:56
gets clocked with the frying pan. I know that's
17:58
coming. Like, and, and I feel like this was Samuel
18:02
Jackson is like in his prime where he's like
18:04
full throated and he gets onto these righteous
18:07
like speeches and it's just, it's hard not to
18:11
love that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I will say this
18:14
too. To the point is like it's very hard to not
18:19
have some kind of not necessarily bias, but like
18:23
you're watching it twice in like a week, two
18:26
weeks. So it's hard not to remember all these
18:30
jokes and have some kind of like preempt disassociate
18:35
with a lot of the humor. Like if you had given
18:38
it a couple months. like you may have forgotten
18:41
one or two of the little things yeah comedy is
18:43
hard because it relies so much on like surprise
18:45
right yeah i mean john and i were talking about
18:46
this he watched it with me and he we had subtitles
18:49
originally but our version of it had commercials
18:51
and shit and it was like this is terrible um
18:53
and we were talking about how subtitles there's
18:56
like a couple times when you don't really want
18:57
them it's like comedies and stand up comedians.
19:01
And it's like same vibe. It spoils it because
19:03
you see it that split second. Your brain is processing
19:05
the joke already. It's kind of the same thing.
19:07
You've already watched it recently. You're going
19:10
to know what's coming, right? Like, you know
19:12
that there's going to be the jokes about whatever
19:13
pizza or like sex toys with white people. Oh,
19:16
dude, the sex toy drawer with the tube of sex
19:20
grease, sex grease. I love sex grease. I knew
19:23
that was coming. White people are weird and crazy
19:25
or whatever he says. Yeah, he just says. white
19:28
people my favorite was when he leans in on them
19:31
uh later when they tie him up with the bdsm gear
19:34
and he's just like perverts i think that's my
19:38
favorite quote sam jackson don't yuck their yum
19:41
but they did call the cops on you so you know
19:43
yeah i mean they suck you have you have other
19:45
things you can criticize about them leave their
19:46
sex life out of it i was i looked it up because
19:49
i was curious you know sex greases no i got the
19:52
idea on that one i cracked that code um no i
19:57
was me later yeah i'll let you know um so michael
20:00
michael learner phil gilman he's 17 years older
20:03
than the actress who plays his wife and it's
20:05
like oh okay i mean that tracks for what the
20:08
third wife situation is there absolutely but
20:10
yeah just looking at them i was like how is this
20:13
working it's like ah well he was a lawyer and
20:16
he worked on the chicago seven which side yeah
20:24
uh when they uh when the police uh chief does
20:28
bring nick cage in and sends him into the house
20:31
the part where nick is kind of prancing through
20:34
uh the the entryway to the house and he looks
20:38
back and he's like jumping and i just like i
20:41
felt like that was just like a little kind of
20:43
uh hat tip to like all of his physical comedy
20:46
and he's just like i'm gonna go prancing into
20:49
the house now and like Yeah. And it absolutely
20:52
works in this situation, too, because, you know,
20:55
he knows he's just there to be like a fall guy.
20:58
Yeah. And he's going to get released. So he's
21:00
just having fun with it. But yes, it definitely
21:04
smacks pretty well of some of his older prancy
21:09
moments. I do like Nick Cage's little slapdash
21:13
MacGyver invention when he brings Andrew out
21:16
on the porch where he gets a coat hanger. Tapes
21:19
it to the front of the shotgun and has it around
21:21
Andrew's neck to like lead him. Yeah. One million
21:24
dollars in a helicopter. I love the million dollars
21:27
in a helicopter. It just kept coming back. Oh,
21:30
man. Why did why did the press show up? Was it
21:33
because of Reverend Brunch? No, it's because
21:35
of the Gilmans, because they're like, we should
21:37
be on the news. This should be big news. So,
21:39
yes, the Gilmans are the villains. So, yeah,
21:42
they keep escalating the situation. They make
21:44
it worse every time. I mean, also, if the cops
21:46
would have just been like. we got told there
21:50
was a black guy we're sorry um it would have
21:53
sucked for them but you know what in america
21:55
guys still would have been elected yeah he would
21:57
have won his election probably probably would
21:59
have gotten more votes you just put donnie on
22:00
administratively for a couple weeks exactly boom
22:03
slap on the wrist for old donnie yeah yeah oh
22:06
fuck it when so you said earlier the second time
22:11
you texted us was uh uh reverend brunt and brunch
22:15
but it was actually when donnie paints his face
22:18
black or like rubs dirt all over and you're like
22:21
also not this guy do not want to be this guy
22:25
in the photos uh you know you could just do a
22:27
whole no i'm not you could do a whole photo montage
22:30
of uh any one of us randomly selected in blackface
22:34
i'm sure that would work fine just just freeman
22:37
in blackface i'm not doing i'm not doing fuck
22:40
all with that we're not replacing sam jackson
22:43
and we're not doing any blackface characters
22:45
that's probably for the best i found one of the
22:49
scenes where there's a couple different non -blackface
22:51
people hanging out with nick cage so does sean
22:55
have to be a 17 year old girl judy gilman no
22:59
amazingly they're never like officially in a
23:02
scene at the exact same time so it's it's in
23:04
the um it's before they have like enlisted amos
23:08
fully into the like scheme they're in the like
23:11
interrogation room or whatever so it's it's dabney
23:14
coleman the chief of police and then um donnie
23:17
yeah kind of in the background yeah Cage with
23:20
his fucking foreplay tattoo. Donnie in white
23:24
face. Yeah, the foreplay tattoo is so dumb and
23:27
funny. His tattoos look so shit. They are so
23:29
drawn on. His gold tooth. His gold tooth. I actually
23:32
kind of liked the gold tooth. I love the gold
23:33
tooth. Also, I love like yet another Nick Cage
23:35
movie starts where Nick Cage is working out in
23:38
a jail cell. Yep. Yeah, doing handstand pushups
23:41
or whatever. I mean, go with what you know, right?
23:44
Yeah, it's a small space. Yeah, so this came
23:46
out in 93. Yeah. 94 was a pretty good year for
23:50
Nicolas Cage. Yeah. And then 95, he was in Kiss
23:52
of Death with Sam Jackson again. Ooh, nice. Yeah.
23:56
Bigger. Much bigger. Much bigger. Sea monkeys.
24:00
Oh, sea monkeys. They did earn their friendship.
24:03
All right. Deep conversations. Yeah, that was
24:05
a great conversation. While Cage smokes the last
24:08
of the gilded joint. I wanted my family to be
24:13
more like sea monkey family. The big smiles on
24:17
the box. I did get sea monkeys when I was younger
24:20
and they were such a fucking waste. It's like
24:22
it was kind of cool. Well, they're just like
24:24
shrimp. Yeah. And it was cool to see them hatch.
24:27
And then they're like fluttering around and then
24:29
they literally just all die. And there's just
24:31
these corpses like waving around on the bottom
24:34
of this little jug. Yeah, that's so cool. And
24:36
it stinks. Yeah, they're they're pretty gnarly.
24:39
I didn't have a lot in terms of quotes from this
24:41
film, but. The one that I that resonated with
24:43
me the most because it's definitely something
24:45
I fucking said. Nick Cage talking about his phobia
24:48
of needles and Sam Jackson like you got them
24:49
tattoos. They did those with needles, right?
24:51
He's like, yeah, but I was drunk. And the tattoo
24:55
show. Yeah, you were definitely drunk. Yeah,
24:59
I do have a tattoo that I do not remember getting.
25:03
Which one is it? My TARDIS. Oh, really? Yeah.
25:05
Interesting. I was in San Francisco, so it's
25:09
fucking cold. So like. By the time I came to
25:11
in a coffee shop with my buddy Tony, I'm all
25:13
bundled up and we're just talking like I sober
25:16
up and I'm driving back to my buddy's place because
25:18
I'm crashing at a friend's house. And he like
25:20
text me. He's like, hey, where are you at? And
25:21
I'm just like, I'm driving back. It's like I'm
25:24
like, oh, and he's like, what? And I like roll
25:25
up my sleeve and I'm like. I think I got a tattoo.
25:29
Freeman, do you have tattoos? Just one. Just
25:32
a little tribute from my dad when he passed away.
25:34
Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, I can remember.
25:37
Yeah, he had a, after this, I can go upstairs.
25:39
We've got a family photo book that we got from
25:41
my family when we visited this summer. And there's
25:45
some pictures of my father before he met my mother
25:48
when he was younger and some photos of him that
25:51
I had never seen. And I think one of them has,
25:53
no, no. I mean, I saw plenty of that growing
25:56
up. My parents walked around naked. I got a weird
25:59
household. No, same. So he used to have a tattoo
26:03
on his arm that just said, fuck you. And then
26:06
he got a cover up tattoo. And so the surfboard
26:10
for his devil and surfboard, the surfboard covered
26:13
up his fuck you. OK, so did your parents have
26:16
any tattoos or do they? No, no. If they got a
26:20
tattoo, what do you think your dad would have?
26:23
if there was one thing to immortalize on his
26:26
body i mean my my parents are fairly catholic
26:29
so i think it would be for him like a cross but
26:34
like a cool denny trejo cross but like what it
26:37
really should be is probably like a gin and tonic
26:39
oh cool yeah that'd be sick You mean your dad
26:41
wouldn't get a tattoo that said born to lose?
26:44
No. Pops had one of those right on his forearm.
26:46
He had all kinds of good tats. And my mom, I
26:50
don't know. My mom really loves swearing. So
26:52
I think she might just, she could have fuck you.
26:54
A secret fuck you. Somewhere dad would never
26:56
see. My dad only has one tattoo, but it's a,
27:02
it's a dude on a motorcycle doing a wheelie through
27:07
a giant skull that split in half with flames.
27:11
jumping out the back of it all and it says uh
27:13
i love my son no oh it's basically like a live
27:21
fast die young kind of tattoo the hell yeah that
27:25
is awesome that's pretty amazing he's an old
27:28
biker yeah i get it my ex uh father -in -law
27:32
meredith's dad had didn't have any tattoos but
27:35
had like an enamel tooth put in at one point
27:38
and had it custom done with the uh cyanide pill
27:43
no maybe john's john's weird uh no he had uh
27:48
the um rolling stone lips put on there so it's
27:51
super tiny but like he'd like open his mouth
27:53
like if you look to the back of his mouth you
27:54
can see that that's so weird and specific yeah
27:58
all right okay Where do you guys put this movie
28:01
in the like comedy bracket of Nick Cage movies?
28:05
Not in like comedies broad. In terms of Nick
28:08
Cage movies, it's up there because there aren't
28:10
a lot of great comedies in his bracket. Yeah,
28:12
that's very true. It's like it's it was funnier
28:14
and more fun than I thought it was going to be.
28:16
Certainly. That was kind of one of my one of
28:18
my thoughts going through this was like, hey,
28:19
I know you had the unenviable task early on of
28:23
trying to. gather and assemble the original cast
28:27
of your brackets and you had to make some just
28:30
split decisions uh based on reading uh watching
28:34
trailers and reading a handful of reviews yep
28:37
it was a fever dream so uh my question to you
28:41
then mr peter producer would be of the other
28:44
comedy elements in or the other movies in the
28:47
comedy half of the bracket what would have you
28:49
thrown out knowing what you know now well it's
28:52
kind of funny because like i think honestly what
28:54
would have gotten punted is a 16 seed which was
28:57
army of one i was just thinking about that i
29:00
think that's the one that would have been 86
29:02
for it because this one was really low rated
29:05
so good is the only reason amos and andrew didn't
29:07
make it in and the preview trailer for it is
29:09
not that good fair so like all the different
29:12
bits and pieces of it it's like watching the
29:14
trailer for army of one i was like we have to
29:15
put this in that voice is fucking insane yes
29:18
you know exactly america makes the best chicken
29:23
wings so so like at that point it's like that's
29:25
the one that would have gotten punted and then
29:27
i don't think there's any chance amos and andrew
29:29
would have made it as far as army of one would
29:30
have gone very true So I think that it's still
29:33
like I stand by it. I mean, like it could happen
29:37
to you probably is one that I would I would hot
29:39
swap this for that without blinking an eye. I
29:41
would have kept it. I would lose family man personally.
29:44
Yeah, I can see that. That movie's not funny
29:46
at all. I mean, the best part of that movie is
29:48
just Jeremy Piven. I was going to say Piven is
29:50
the best part, which I never would say about
29:52
anything ever. Yeah, this is the one time that
29:54
sentence will be uttered. Or Trapped in Paradise.
29:56
Nope, I stand by that fucking movie. That movie
29:59
is god awful. It's so fucking stupid and it's
30:01
pretty funny. I need to rewatch that again. I
30:04
was literally just talking about that at a bar
30:06
with somebody who randomly was like, did you
30:08
ever see that one Nick Cage movie with John Lovitz?
30:11
And I was like, yes. Of course I have. Yeah.
30:17
I mean, yeah, I'm looking at other stuff. I'm
30:19
like, I just did not enjoy Matchstick Men, which
30:21
I should have because I liked everything else.
30:22
Like, I love the cast. I liked the director.
30:25
I just didn't like the movie. It was too predictable
30:27
for something that was supposed to have a twist
30:29
to be like, oh, yeah, the girl's totally playing
30:32
him. She's conning the con artist. And it's like,
30:35
I saw that coming halfway through the movie.
30:37
And it's like, I don't have fond memories of
30:39
High Noon in Vegas, but I'm glad I was on there.
30:42
i mean roy bacon maybe yeah it's got the skydiving
30:45
elvises thing i will say about honeymoon in vegas
30:48
is when i went to that nicholas cage themed drag
30:51
show somebody did a honeymoon in vegas act as
30:54
a flying elvis which is fantastic yeah did they
30:56
parachute into the drag show no coward for real
31:00
i mean there was a roof it was a small place
31:02
hopefully there was some coward Hopefully there's
31:05
at least some silk involved. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
31:08
there was that. You understand art. Yeah, there
31:10
was that. But yeah, there were no like aerial
31:12
acrobatics. Were there aerial acrobatics? Yeah!
31:20
Oh, nipples, dude. Nipples fucking rock. We maybe
31:23
have been doing this too long. I don't know.
31:26
How many more movies we got left before we never
31:28
have to talk to each other again? Still like
31:29
20. Well, and the man keeps making movies. Yeah.
31:33
I'm still waiting for one of his shows to come
31:36
out so we can like talk about those for a few
31:38
weeks. You can serialize it. Yeah, shows will
31:41
be great. I really can't wait for Carpenter's
31:43
Son 2. Oh my. The Jesus horror movie. Oh, people
31:46
are really mad about it already. Oh, yes. Have
31:48
you been reading, like, the reviews on trailers?
31:50
I have not. They're just people just being, like,
31:53
real angry. Like, just, like, fucking Bible beaters
31:56
and Jesus freaks just freaking out. Like, did
31:58
we really need a horror movie about Jesus? We
32:01
got one about Winnie the Pooh, so fucking suck
32:03
it up. Also, Jesus has been in the public domain
32:05
for so much longer. Jesus is part of the public
32:08
domain. So, yeah, he plays... ostensibly a jesus
32:12
dad character he's the carpenter's dad you know
32:15
and the carpenter's son of the movie but it's
32:17
also like some weird horror shit biblical kind
32:21
of crap so who knows it's probably gonna be dog
32:24
shit but oh man fuck yeah we'll go see that absolutely
32:27
no if it's at least as good as long legs i'll
32:30
be happy yeah there you go so so yeah i just
32:33
pulled up the uh carpenter's son trailer uh first
32:36
one they're not even trying to hide it anymore
32:38
everything out beyond that Bible verses. What
32:42
are they not even trying to hide? Don't make
32:43
me do the work of looking up what you're going
32:45
to say in the Bible. Father, forgive them for
32:47
what they know not what they do. Ugh. Yeah, just
32:54
a lot of that. Although I like the last temptation
32:57
of Cage. Nicolas Cage in Jesus Christ was not
33:02
on my bingo card for 2025. That one's good. I
33:07
think he's the dad. I don't think he's Jesus.
33:09
I think he's a little old to be the son in The
33:12
Carpenter's Son. He's got range. Wait, wait,
33:14
if he's the dad, that... But not the father.
33:18
Oh, fucking... Oh, people and their religion
33:25
are crazy. We are truly living in a godless world.
33:28
Just speed running the end times with this one.
33:30
Okay. Who are your favorite? Who's your favorite
33:33
character from this movie? Freeman, you can start.
33:39
Maybe it's an outside angle. I'm going to go
33:41
with Stacy. It's a delivery girl. Okay. I appreciate
33:46
that. She shot down Nick Cage. Yeah. She played
33:49
very curious. She really leaned in like like
33:51
she was interested in him. But then she's like,
33:54
no, you're old and you're a creeper. And I'm
33:56
getting off this island. Nice. Good pick. I really
34:00
liked Phil Gilman, not as a human being, but
34:05
as a heel throughout the movie. Pretty good.
34:08
He is always got playing the angle. Yeah. And
34:11
he's just so dislikable. The fact that he was
34:16
willing to like. let amos kill his current wife
34:21
over like rather than give up the like mercedes
34:26
that he was given by his second wife this is
34:29
so good i like the dog rommel yeah yeah uh also
34:34
you're a big rommel fan too i liked i liked the
34:40
the press guy Oh, the weird eyebrows guy? No,
34:46
it was Andrew. His last name was Lake. Waldo
34:49
Lake. I liked him. He was a pretty good character,
34:53
you're right. When the cop's like, I need to
34:55
confiscate that tape. He's like, I have a First
34:57
Amendment right. And Chief Police just goes,
34:59
fuck the First Amendment. I'm like, oh, that's
35:01
real. Oh, this actually had a... Sorry, I know
35:05
you're about to say yours. This had a joke that
35:08
I had to look up when... Amos first goes with
35:13
the... We're Amos and Andrew. Oh, the Amos and
35:17
Andy thing? Yeah. Oh, you didn't know that? No.
35:20
You think I listen to a lot of 1920s radio plays?
35:24
There's history. I don't know, man. Like, I know
35:26
about it. I don't know. Well, I think that's
35:28
the setup of the whole... I mean, I might have
35:29
known about it. This whole movie. The whole reason
35:31
it's called that. Yeah. It's a lean... Like,
35:33
all of this is just like an over -the -top, like...
35:36
we're just going to make an example. I feel of,
35:38
of like racist themes, right? Like it's just,
35:41
we're going to lay in layer over and over. Hence
35:43
the dog Rommel. Right. And if anyone doesn't
35:46
know, so Amos and Andy was a radio play for quite
35:50
a while. That was incredibly, incredibly popular.
35:54
But it was just like minstrel, blackface -y kind
35:57
of whatever. Which they were on the radio. They
35:59
didn't have to do the blackface, but they did.
36:01
They sure definitely did. Yeah, but it was...
36:03
You can hear it. Got them into character. Written
36:05
and voiced by two white guys. Two white guys.
36:07
Of course. So, yeah. Yeah, so... At some point,
36:11
you know, Nick Cage is like, oh, it's us. It's,
36:13
you know, we're Amos and Andrew. And he's like,
36:14
oh, no, you do not get to say that. I'm not even
36:17
going to educate you on the history of that one.
36:20
I will say like. So, yeah, going to like, you
36:22
know, this is just like, you know, the absurdity
36:25
of like all racism. So when the. church group
36:28
shows up when brunch shows up and like he instigates
36:32
a riot at the house and which leads to the house
36:38
being burned down and then he books it real quick
36:40
yeah oh we set this man's house on fire we gots
36:43
to go like yeah well my favorite character was
36:46
dabney coleman as the chief i think that is such
36:49
a well done comedic role for somebody playing
36:52
it straight but you know just always obsessed
36:54
with his like polling numbers and everything
36:56
and just like him getting more mummified as he
37:00
gets more and more hurt the entire time well
37:02
and he just keeps like at any point he doesn't
37:05
win no at any point he could have just just makes
37:07
it worse gone too far yeah and just yeah makes
37:10
it worse oh i know why they got off the island
37:12
because according to because uh fucking what
37:16
was dilbert dabney fucking blackface cop donnie
37:19
donnie uh Donnie Donaldson. Donnie Donaldson.
37:23
Cause they find it. Cause Donnie breaks back
37:25
into the house. Cause they think that Amos is
37:27
still in there. And then the SWAT comes in and
37:30
he gets flash banged. And then they pull him
37:33
out and be like, we got Amos. We got Amos in
37:34
front of the press. And then they realize it's
37:36
Donnie. So they take Donnie in and they're like,
37:38
we caught him. Yeah. But then they still bring
37:40
the bloodhounds to look for the hostages that
37:42
they couldn't find. So they're searching. They,
37:45
but they want, they don't want the press to know
37:47
that. Yeah. All right. Fair enough. Oh, and one
37:51
extra bit from the second playthrough, because
37:54
I didn't let it run to the end of the credits
37:56
on the first playthrough. There is an extra scene
37:58
at the end of the dogs running through a field
38:00
with Rommel. We forgot the most important thing
38:02
about this movie. The Sir Mix -a -Lot song. Yes!
38:05
I miss when movies had raps. Yeah, when you have
38:09
just a wrap -up song at the end that kind of
38:11
tells you everything. And as a kid that grew
38:14
up in the Seattle area, as soon as I hear Mix's
38:16
voice, I turn to Elizabeth and I go... That's
38:19
fucking Sir Mix -a -Lot! And I'm like, why? Just
38:22
fucking why? There is absolutely no reason for
38:26
Sir Mix -a -Lot to be there. What was the last
38:27
line of the song? I just, I can't remember. It
38:31
was the N -word. Sir Mix -a -Lot's famous first
38:35
N -word. There was a guy who had Sir Mix -a -Lot's
38:43
previous phone number. This was just like maybe
38:46
eight years ago. And he would constantly be getting
38:49
text messages and stuff from people trying to
38:51
get a hold of Sir Mix. I don't know. I don't
38:56
know what I should call him. Mr. Mr. Mr. Lock.
39:00
Mr. Mr. A lot. Mr. Sir Mix. A lot. And he would
39:05
have to like keep telling me like this is not
39:08
his phone number anymore until eventually Sir
39:10
Mix a lot actually was like, hey, I hear you
39:13
keep getting my messages. Amazing. Did he make
39:16
a voicemail that was like, yay, it's Sir Mix
39:18
-a -Lot. You got the wrong fucking number. He
39:21
raps it. He's like, hey, if you're looking for
39:24
Sir Mix -a -Lot, I'm not going to go any further
39:28
with that because that borders on racist again.
39:31
If you think it's the number, it is not. Oh!
39:34
Thank you. Thank you. Cut it. We're done. this
39:38
podcast is over i was surprised to learn that
39:41
mix was straight uh straight edge like oh yeah
39:44
like like just completely no booze no drugs he
39:47
seems like he'd be pouring cognac all over i
39:49
ended up backstage at one of his i guess you
39:51
don't have to drink the cognac a bunch of guys
39:54
were like, let's, let's light a joint and pass
39:56
it around. And I'm standing with them. And all
39:58
of a sudden Mick smells it. And he's like, all
40:00
y 'all tossed out. And we all got tossed out
40:02
of the, uh, the green room. Cause I was standing
40:05
by the idiot smoking the joint. And, uh, why
40:07
is it called the green room? I know. I was like,
40:09
I was like, don't be a bummer, man. When I saw
40:11
Sir Mix a lot, they had a hype man just throwing
40:15
Dick's burgers out. That's over the crowd. So.
40:19
Yeah. So like, you're just in the crowd eating
40:22
a. Dick's Burger watching Sir Mix -a -Lot. Most
40:25
Seattle thing I've done in a long time. I wish
40:28
I had a Sir Mix -a -Lot story. Yeah. Final thoughts.
40:31
Freeman. Fenton Reverend Brunch. Try that one
40:37
again. Reverend Fenton Brunch. Brunchin' Frontin'
40:42
Brunch. Take two. Big balls! My final take. Don't
40:47
drink buzz balls, kids. Yeah, we're going to
40:49
lose. I'm going to lose us the sponsorship we
40:52
don't have. Yeah, right. No way. Peter will cut
40:55
that drink. We're talking about robo trip in
40:58
last episode. Yeah, we're looking for big ball
41:00
money. Sea monkeys. I want my family more like
41:04
a sea monkey family. Yeah. Nick, Sean, final
41:08
thoughts. I think this movie is a real treat.
41:12
I think people should watch it. Unless you have
41:15
problems with racism. Well, no, I mean, like
41:19
everybody should have problems with racism. If
41:22
you have problems with people being portrayed
41:25
as racist, then you might have an issue with
41:28
this. Yeah, that's fair. If you're like those
41:31
nice white people can't be racist. They said
41:34
so at the beginning. And I trust white people.
41:36
Yeah, I will say might be part of the problem.
41:38
I will say through the lens of time and media
41:41
literacy. there are aspects of this that probably
41:43
don't hold up great but i don't think it's atrocious
41:45
in any way yeah i agree with that yeah i think
41:48
all in all this was kind of a surprise movie
41:49
for me where it's sort of like oh this was better
41:52
than i thought and i even had you as a heads
41:54
up being like it's not that bad and it was better
41:57
than you thought better than i thought i had
41:59
a good time um but yeah so next next episode
42:02
we've got 1993's deadfall which is uh starring
42:08
Michael Biehn, your favorite. And he marks it
42:11
as one of his worst movies ever. Awesome. I love
42:14
Michael Biehn. Yeah. So that's going to be something.
42:18
Wait, did you want to say something on Mike?
42:20
Well, my mom came through. I texted her asking
42:23
what my dad's tattoo says. And it's even better
42:26
than I remembered. It says death is certain.
42:28
Life is not. I love your dad. Dude, my dad's
42:32
pretty chill. That's pretty good. All right,
42:35
well, thank you all for listening. Thanks to
42:36
our Sparkle buddies, Josh, Josie, Matt, Adam,
42:39
Bill, and Stuart. And to our Cage Dancers, Ira,
42:41
John, Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron. And to Bill
42:46
Panks for our intro music. And yeah, we'll see
42:49
you in two weeks for Michael Biehn's least favorite
42:52
movie. Deadfall. He got paid for Alien 3, so
42:57
I, you know. So... Where are we putting this?
43:02
I don't know. He got paid a lot to like being
43:04
to die. Like, yeah. Or actually, I don't even
43:06
think he was in it. I think they just used like
43:08
a photo of him. But he got paid for it. That
43:12
would be my favorite movie. Get paid a bunch
43:13
of money to not do anything. Yeah. That sounds
43:16
awesome. Let's get rich. Buzz balls. Yeah. Buzz
43:20
balls. I think that's their theme song. Buzz
43:24
balls. We can we can write a buzz ball. Texas.
43:29
Texas. Buzz balls. Oh, we got to make some truck
43:33
nuts with those. Holy fuck. Buzz nuts. That's
43:37
actually pretty good. Yeah. If you want to get
43:39
pulled over real fucking fast, give yourself
43:43
some big buzz balls, biggies, truck nuts. One
43:48
of my favorite. Just swanging and dangling. One
43:51
of the best jokes I ever came up with off the
43:54
cuff, and it didn't get any attention, which
43:56
pissed me off. It was on. Back when I was on
43:58
Facebook, a friend of mine from high school said,
44:01
we just like asked, like, why is there no female
44:03
equivalent of trunk nuts? And in her comments,
44:05
I just wrote camel toe. And nobody laughed at
44:08
it. Did you spell it T .O .W.? Yeah. Good. No
44:12
one laughed. Fuck them. Well, Facebook is full
44:16
of losers. That's true. This was in Facebook
44:18
was cool. Fuck you, Facebook. The end. Bye. Bye.
44:25
moved on to reddit bye bye i have two questions
44:37
for you peter yeah first question how many buzz
44:40
balls to get you a tattoo second question think
44:43
about it how many buzz balls to get you a tattoo
44:45
of freeman's mustache holy shit Just get a tattoo
44:49
of a mustache under your mustache. That's smart.
44:52
Anytime I shave it off, I still am mustached.
44:54
Yeah, you're still safe. That's a good idea.
44:57
I was thinking on your butt, but whatever. Buttstache?
44:59
Just put it wherever. It's a fine mustache. I
45:03
think I would have to have two biggies. Three
45:06
full leaders? Three full leaders. Now, they wouldn't
45:10
legally be allowed to give you one. One of our
45:13
friends probably can do a tattoo. Yeah.