Latest / Your Enriched Self / 114. Self-Evaluate

Transcript

114. Self-Evaluate · Your Enriched Self

• 0:00
  Reflection the other day, and I thought back to a couple years ago when
• 0:05
  I decided it was time for me to start growing in a new space,
• 0:08
  learning in a new space, and being in a new space. And so
• 0:12
  I applied for another opportunity in my organization. And when I did that,
• 0:17
  I knew that I would be put in a position of discomfort, meaning I
• 0:23
  was going to apply in a place that I wasn't comfortable in I had never
• 0:27
  really navigated. But I knew in order for me to grow and for me
• 0:31
  to have new perspective and new depth and breadth of not just the company,
• 0:36
  but of who I am, because part of what we do every day in
• 0:40
  terms of our work and our relationships and our networks and connections is we are
• 0:45
  exploring us. We are learning more about who we are, how we interact,
• 0:50
  and how we react to different situations that may come up. Here I
• 0:56
  am in twenty twenty three, and I am working on on some project work
• 1:02
  that has really stretched me in ways that I never thought would be possible,
• 1:08
  and I absolutely love it. It is kind of being on a crazy ride.
• 1:14
  I explained it to someone the other day that I hadn't talked to in
• 1:18
  a while. And they asked me how things were going on. I said,
• 1:22
  I'm learning a lot, but it's like I'm on a roller coaster,
• 1:25
  but I don't know what's happening. But I also do know what's happening.
• 1:27
  And this doesn't make sense today, but tomorrow it makes sense. And I
• 1:32
  want to get off, but I want to be on and I want to
• 1:34
  stay in line for this ride. But I don't think it's worth it.
• 1:38
  But it's so worth it. And I'm learning a lot and I'm having fun.
• 1:41
  It's all of those emotions rolled up in one, and that is what
• 1:46
  life is all about. That's what it should be about. We should be
• 1:49
  willing to get up and go out and challenge ourselves. And I know that
• 1:53
  doesn't come without a mindset shift. It took me some years, some time,
• 2:00
  some energy to get into a place where I could have a mindset shift
• 2:07
  so that I could be willing to take new routes. How will you know
• 2:15
  that you can get to a new destination if you're not willing to take a
• 2:21
  new route. That's the only way you learn how to navigate the waters,
• 2:25
  navigate the streets, navigate this thing called life. And that's an important skill
• 2:31
  set that we all need to have, but it just requires us to go
• 2:36
  in, have some blind faith, jump in and trust who you are and
• 2:42
  as people often say, trust the process. Hello, my friends from all
• 3:15
  across the globe and welcome to the Urine rid Self Podcast. I am your
• 3:20
  host, Milee Noir. I am a mindset coach and your mindset advocate.
• 3:27
  And what that means. In the world that you live in, in the
• 3:30
  space that you occupy, in the things that you do each and every day,
• 3:34
  you are being pulled and moved in so many directions. You're having to
• 3:38
  pivot and change and move and grow all sometimes it feels like in one moment.
• 3:46
  And so what I've done is I've curated this space for you, because
• 3:52
  really, when do you spend time thinking about what you're thinking about? Most
• 3:57
  of the time you think and do. But on this podcast, I want
• 4:00
  you to become more of your enrich self. And that's going to require you
• 4:02
  to go a little bit deeper than just putting your thoughts out there, but
• 4:06
  really thinking about what's the next step and what you need to do and how
• 4:12
  can you not just enrich yourself but be the best version of yourself. And
• 4:17
  so that's what this is all about kay, because we know that your thoughts
• 4:21
  are inspired by your words, and the things that you say turn into the
• 4:26
  activity that you participate in, the things that you do, and I want
• 4:30
  them to be meaningful and I want them to be enriched, and I want
• 4:32
  you to be more of your enrich self by being the best version of yourself.
• 4:36
  And that's what this is all about. So if you're listening to this
• 4:43
  podcast, you're in the right space. And I know that you were brought
• 4:46
  here on purpose for a purpose. And if this is your first time being
• 4:49
  here, welcome to the podcast. Make sure you subscribe and listen because I
• 4:55
  know there is something in this episode for you. And if you are a
• 4:58
  repeat listener, Li, I am so grateful for you, and I want
• 5:01
  to thank you from the bottom of my heart because I know without you,
• 5:04
  there couldn't be in your Andrisil podcast. It wouldn't be the listenership and the
• 5:10
  legacy that you have helped us build, and we are continuing to do that
• 5:14
  two years in the making. So thank you, each and every one of
• 5:17
  you. And before we get started, and before we get into this week's
• 5:23
  episode, if you know you know we do something here where I fill up
• 5:30
  the bank of you. Yep, you have a bank, and I don't
• 5:32
  want you out here in d streets bankrupt. So what I do is I
• 5:35
  fill up your bank with affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start your
• 5:43
  day and to command your morning. And this week's affirmation is today I prioritize
• 5:55
  my spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. Today, I prioritize
• 6:04
  my physical, emotional, mental, and physical health. Today I prioritize my
• 6:15
  spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. Now let's get ready for
• 6:27
  this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self podcast. This week, I want
• 6:38
  to check in with you. I don't know about you, but September marks
• 6:43
  some interesting moments in my life, interesting conversations. And I remember having a
• 6:49
  conversation with my sister a few years ago and she said to me, after
• 6:55
  you have the conversation, there's another conversation happening in your mind, in your
• 7:00
  head. And I felt like September was that month for me where there were
• 7:03
  so many different things happening, and at the end of the month there was
• 7:08
  a lot of reflection about things that had been said, things that I had
• 7:14
  heard, things that I was reminded of, and I wanted to kind of
• 7:16
  bring that here this week so we can dissect it a little bit. And
• 7:20
  here are a few things that I heard or things that were shared with me
• 7:25
  that were swirling in my head way after the conversation or the information was provided.
• 7:31
  One I had heard about two university presidents. They happened to be African
• 7:36
  American women who suddenly passed away, And when I was looking at you know,
• 7:45
  the nature of what this was is they were dealing with a lot of
• 7:49
  workplace discrimination, and I can imagine, you know some of the things I
• 7:57
  read. Obviously, when you deal with a host still or a toxic work
• 8:01
  environment, you're gonna have fear, You're gonna have stress, you're gonna have
• 8:05
  all kinds of emotions that are wrapped up. And unfortunately, if you don't
• 8:11
  feel like or you don't have a safe space to put those things, it
• 8:16
  almost implodes. And so I don't know all the details around that, but
• 8:20
  that story just stood out to me because these women have clearly reached a level
• 8:26
  of achievement. These were both doctors university presidents, and right now they're not
• 8:35
  even here. And it really put things in perspective for me to think,
• 8:39
  am I in a place right now that I can flourish and grow. You
• 8:48
  know, these are the types of ways that I go about thinking of these
• 8:54
  things when they come up, these scenarios, when they come up. Another
• 9:00
  piece of information that came to me was I was sitting at work one day
• 9:05
  and one of my neighbors who I'm not really familiar with, but I do
• 9:11
  have a relationship with her now, and unfortunately it was through a life situation,
• 9:18
  a life scenario. And what happened was she received word at work that
• 9:22
  her brother in law had passed, and as you can imagine, it was
• 9:28
  loud screams, and it was an opportunity to find out what was going on,
• 9:35
  console her identify what need she had in the immediate moment she had to
• 9:39
  leave work. So did she need a ride, did she need an uber?
• 9:41
  Did she think she was okay to take herself to that destination to be
• 9:46
  with her family? And so life was happening. And it was so interesting
• 9:50
  because even when I spoke to her recently and even on that day, when
• 9:54
  this thing was happening live and she was still trying to assess what was happening
• 9:58
  internally and externally, she was apologizing for being human and I think we have
• 10:05
  just been in a society that doesn't allow us to just be authentic in the
• 10:13
  moment with ourselves. And I just thought that was a moment to be reflective
• 10:18
  about, because where are you right now not allowed to be authentic or you
• 10:26
  don't feel like you can be just you, just in the moment. And
• 10:33
  so that was another moment. And finally, my best friend, her mother
• 10:39
  in law, passed away and she shared something with me that I thought was
• 10:45
  just a beautiful gift that this woman who I didn't know. I mean,
• 10:50
  I had an opportunity to break bread with her and you know, meet her
• 10:54
  one or two times. But she's leaving a gift that we can now I
• 11:00
  can now share with you. And it was a reminder, but it's still
• 11:03
  a good gift. And the gift was she shared with her daughter in law.
• 11:09
  You know what, I did everything I wanted to do in this life.
• 11:13
  She was able to work in education, at the highest level of education.
• 11:18
  I think she was a principal at a school. She was able to
• 11:22
  leave that job and open two businesses. And her grandson at the funeral that
• 11:26
  I had an opportunity to attend, would say that even in her final day,
• 11:31
  she was talking about all these business ideas that she had. She was
• 11:35
  just continuing to pursue the next level of her life, the next level of
• 11:41
  learning, the next level of exploring what was out there, and that was
• 11:46
  just a great gift that I wanted to share with you. So as those
• 11:50
  conversations, as that information started to bring itself forward to me, I started
• 11:56
  having all this internal conversation with myself and I wanted to bring it here with
• 12:01
  you because it's time for us to do a little evaluation. And evaluations are
• 12:09
  important. What is an evaluation? An evaluation is the process of judging and
• 12:16
  calculating the quality, the importance, the value of what you're doing. And
• 12:20
  I want us to take a moment right now, as we are standing firmly
• 12:26
  in the fourth quarter, the last leg of twenty twenty three, and evaluate,
• 12:35
  evaluate ourselves. It's a self evaluation. I want to head on.
• 12:39
  Did a little bit more digging on evaluation, and what I learned was there
• 12:46
  are evaluation or assessment types in the teaching profession, and one of those is
• 12:54
  a formative assessment or evaluation. And in that formative assessment, it allows you,
• 13:05
  because you are a student of life, to identify what are your strengths,
• 13:09
  what are your weaknesses, and what are the target areas that you need
• 13:13
  to go work on. And that's what I want to bring forward today.
• 13:18
  I want to get into those strengths and weaknesses and opportunities by looking at a
• 13:24
  few questions. I think it's important to have qualifying questions to help you understand
• 13:31
  exactly what those things are. Get a pen, get a paper. If
• 13:35
  I didn't say that yet, I want you to do a self evaluation,
• 13:43
  and we're going to go right into the first question, and that is,
• 13:48
  if you are to look at your life right now, in a moment you
• 13:52
  stand in right now, what are some of the joys that you are experiencing
• 13:58
  in this season. I want you to hear your thoughts about that. I
• 14:09
  want you to listen for how you interacted with that question. What are the
• 14:15
  joys some of the joys that you are experiencing in this season of your life?
• 14:24
  Are you able to recognize if you are in a learning phase of life
• 14:31
  or is this your teaching phase? Do you now know, as you are
• 14:41
  standing firmly in the fourth quarter, what you need to carry into your next
• 14:48
  phase? For me, my birthday's coming up, So I'm thinking about what
• 14:52
  do I need to carry into this next birthday year? Like my new year
• 14:58
  starts when my birthday starts, So my new year starts in another week.
• 15:03
  What do I need to carry. I don't know what your new year or
• 15:07
  how you look at your seasons of life, but what do you need to
• 15:11
  carry into this next phase? Maybe it's the next week, maybe it's the
• 15:16
  next moment. You need to carry something else based on what you learned in
• 15:20
  these past months. So this is your evaluation day. This is something I
• 15:28
  started to talk about, especially around the COVID the height of the COVID pandemic
• 15:37
  was I needed to unlearn a lot of things so I can start to learn
• 15:45
  and understand things differently. So my question to you in this current phase,
• 15:52
  what have you unlearned and what are you unlearning? Because that's just as important
• 16:00
  as learning. There's some things you had to let go or unlearned so that
• 16:04
  you can get what's needed. Another question for you to ask yourself in this
• 16:12
  time is what challenges have shaped you? What were the things if you look
• 16:19
  back on September, really look back on the year, what were the things
• 16:26
  that challenged you? Because what challenges you I heard this from a trainer years
• 16:32
  ago, will change you. What challenges you will change you, What challenges
• 16:38
  you will shape you. So what are those things that challenge you that helped
• 16:45
  to change you in this year? The next challenging question that I want you
• 16:52
  to spend some time in your thoughts thinking about what are you holding on to
• 17:00
  that is limiting you. We talk about limiting beliefs. Now, limiting beliefs
• 17:07
  are kind of etched into our DNA based on how we were reared and the
• 17:12
  conversations we heard, the environment that we were in. All of those things
• 17:18
  build that are you saving a space or even creating a space for toxicity?
• 17:29
  Are you allowing that toxic thing, person, place, whatever to stay and
• 17:33
  occupy your space, because that could very well be the thing that's limiting you
• 17:41
  that you're holding onto. And in order to get to the new thing and
• 17:47
  hold on to a new thing, you've got to let go of the thing
• 17:52
  that's sitting in the background, the thing that you have always run to as
• 17:56
  your comfort, as your new central ground, as your safe space. It
• 18:03
  could be what's limiting you. Your life is changing your life is bringing about
• 18:11
  transitional moments which allow you to grow and we know if you listen to one
• 18:19
  of the episodes, one of the very early episodes on growing pains, that's
• 18:25
  part of that growth, that's part of that transition is the pain of growing.
• 18:32
  And so it's important to not allow those limiting beliefs which come by the
• 18:38
  form by the way of self doubt. Start to doubt yourself, and those
• 18:45
  limiting beliefs come in and they become a space where you allow toxicity or toxic
• 18:51
  ideas, ideologies, beliefs to really run rampant in your mind and manifest in
• 18:59
  your reality. So here's some things I need you to stop doing so that
• 19:03
  you can let go of some things and stop holding onto your limitations. But
• 19:11
  yeah, stop fighting for your limitations. A lot of people do that and
• 19:15
  it doesn't serve you, So stop doing that. Okay. The first thing
• 19:18
  I want you to do is stop be littling your accomplishments. They're too small,
• 19:25
  the or not big enough. I always talk about the confetti on the
• 19:27
  stage because we are all waiting for that big stage moment to say that we
• 19:32
  are good enough, or big enough, or worthy enough. I'm telling you
• 19:34
  right now, you need to stop be littling yourself because you think your accomplishments
• 19:41
  are little. Listen, every accomplishment leads to the next one. Okay,
• 19:48
  every accomplishment is going to open up a space for you to get to another
• 19:52
  one. The other thing is, and I heard this recently on a panel,
• 19:56
  a leadership panel, you need to give yourself permission, or you need
• 20:02
  to stop curbing your authenticity by not giving yourself permission to be who you are,
• 20:12
  who God made you to be, who you need to be for the
• 20:17
  people that you were brought here to serve. Stop curbing that, stop going
• 20:23
  against that. Be who you are, not who you need to be.
• 20:30
  And you've got to prioritize yourself over others. And I know that sounds to
• 20:33
  many people like it's selfish, but it's really what I call self full.
• 20:40
  It's important, as I say, as often as I can, to fill
• 20:45
  up your cup. You got to be self full. Your cup has to
• 20:48
  be filled before you can go out there pouring into this and pouring into that
• 20:53
  and pouring into everything else. You've got to work from a place of overflow,
• 20:56
  quite frankly, because when you're an overflow, you can give and give
• 21:00
  and give and you're still good for you, You're prioritizing you, and that's
• 21:04
  a very important thing. So conversely, here are the things that you need
• 21:08
  to do. You need to start to let go of your mistakes. Give
• 21:15
  yourself permission to stand up for yourself. Give yourself from permission to authentically be
• 21:22
  yourself. To shine, Give yourself permission to shine. I don't care how
• 21:29
  bright your light is or isn't, but you are able to shine with what
• 21:36
  you have is enough. I've said that before and I say it again.
• 21:40
  You have everything it takes to do everything you want to do, and you
• 21:44
  should give yourself permission today to shine. And ultimately, you need to create
• 21:48
  and invest in a self care routine. What will fill up your cup for
• 21:52
  me? I said it before and I'll say it again. I love to
• 21:56
  be outdoors. What that means for me is when I come home now,
• 21:59
  it might that I go for a walk, even though I did activity in
• 22:03
  the morning. I need that. Now. I'm doing a lot at work,
• 22:07
  I'm pouring a lot into this project, I'm doing a lot of things
• 22:10
  with my family. I need an outlet. And so having a self care
• 22:15
  routine that works for you, having activity that fuels and fills you up,
• 22:22
  is going to be critical. The final thing that I want you to think
• 22:30
  about, the final question I want you to delve into so that you can
• 22:37
  complete this formative evaluation to help you identify the areas that you need to target,
• 22:45
  that you need to work on, the things you need to improve.
• 22:48
  Is what do you want to add and what do you want to release?
• 23:00
  So let me give you an example. I don't know how many of you
• 23:03
  this has happened to, but you get invited to an event, or you
• 23:07
  got an event coming up. You go into your closet, You look around,
• 23:11
  you have nothing to wear. Some of the things maybe don't fit,
• 23:14
  they're not your style, you just don't like what you see, or you
• 23:17
  don't see anything you like, whatever doesn't matter. I buy some clothes,
• 23:23
  but then I keep the same clothes that I have in my closet, the
• 23:27
  same old, tired clothes. I haven't worn them in years. They don't
• 23:32
  personify what I like. They're not who I am anymore. I've outgrown it
• 23:37
  in many more ways than one. That's what I mean by what do you
• 23:41
  want to add and what do you want to release? It's going to be
• 23:44
  important to let go of some of those things that no longer serve you.
• 23:48
  It could be a relationship that you're in that you've been in. It could
• 23:52
  be an experience that you haven't had yet and you're like, that's what I
• 23:56
  want to do. I want to have this type of experience. I want
• 23:59
  to be in this type of space. It could be people that you have
• 24:03
  an experience or people that you have and again you need to let them go.
• 24:07
  I don't know what it is for you, but these are the types
• 24:11
  of evaluative formative assessments that you need to do right now in this fourth quarter
• 24:17
  as you are marching strongly in this first part of Q four to understand what
• 24:23
  you need to do to walk out of this year, what phase you're in,
• 24:27
  and ask yourself these questions like the places you want to end this year
• 24:32
  in, and it will require you to look at what do I need to
• 24:36
  release or what do I need to add and release and vice versa. Those
• 24:40
  types of questions. The questioning strategy that you use to help you evaluate where
• 24:47
  you are, where you want to go, and how you get there,
• 24:49
  it starts now. It starts with this type of assessment and that's what's important
• 24:56
  and critical to be aware of. I want you to have the emotional intelligence
• 25:04
  and the emotional awareness of who you are and where you want to be.
• 25:11
  And I'll leave you with this. When we talk about evaluation, it requires
• 25:17
  you to have done some activity. It requires you to go forward and in
• 25:22
  an essence, fail faster. And I know that's something that gives a lot
• 25:27
  of people heartburn when they hear the word failure. But I heard this quote
• 25:33
  and it really summarizes all of this. The ability for you to learn from
• 25:41
  a failed route will make you better at navigating your next step. I hope
• 25:53
  you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only way
• 25:59
  I'm going to know this is it you leave me some feedback. Feedback is
• 26:02
  a gift and it is free to give, and I would like to hear
• 26:04
  from you. I would like to know what resonated with you regarding this week's
• 26:08
  episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform and which you listen
• 26:12
  to this podcast, follow the stars when you get there, leave a five
• 26:17
  star rating. But in all seriousness, when you get there, you can
• 26:21
  share your feedback on this podcast and that helps us. And when you share
• 26:27
  your feedback on this podcast, it helps others find us in these podcast streets,
• 26:33
  so we would definitely appreciate that you can also share this episode with your
• 26:38
  friends and family right from the podcast, So right from the podcast platform and
• 26:42
  which you're listening to this episode, hit the share button and send it to
• 26:47
  the last three to five people that you spoke with today. Also, you
• 26:52
  can share this on your socials. You can find me primarily on Instagram because
• 26:56
  that's my jam, that's where I am. You can find me at my
• 27:00
  Enriched Self that's M Y E N R C h E D s E l
• 27:06
  F, and you can hashtag this episode. You can tag me. I
• 27:08
  would love to hear from you, so you can showcase your friends and families
• 27:12
  and those in the social streets what you're listening to and what's feeding you mind,
• 27:17
  body and spirit. I also want you to check out the show notes.
• 27:21
  In the show notes, we have the affirmation of the Week, the
• 27:23
  quote of the week, and there you can also find my Amazon shop.
• 27:29
  The Your Rich Self shop has two items right now, a journal which is
• 27:34
  the Show Up Everyday Journal, as well as the Show Up Everyday notebook.
• 27:40
  So check those out in my Amazon shops. And finally, take what you
• 27:44
  can from this episode and do what you must in the next one hundred and
• 27:48
  sixty eight hours so that you can become more of your enriched self until we
• 27:56
  meet again.