Latest / Real Talk Real Healing / Ep 21: Why You Really Drink: The Emotional Truth Behind Your Relationship With Alcohol

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Ep 21: Why You Really Drink: The Emotional Truth Behind Your Relationship With Alcohol · Real Talk Real Healing

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hey y'all, this is Desi.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: And this is Lisa.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to our podcast, Real Talk Real Healing, where we support women through their healing journey.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Through raw stories, authentic dialogue, and uncomfortable but very necessary conversations, we explore the full range of emotions, energetic, spirituality, and physical well-being that come with being human.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: We believe in a world filled with filters and surface-level messages that healing begins with truth and a little bit of magic.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome back to another episode with your hosts, Lisa and Desi.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: We are so excited that you are back with us listening to another episode because this has been such a fun process, and we are already on episode 21, which is so crazy that we're already 20 episodes in.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And we just want to thank you for being here.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: We want to thank you for listening to our episodes.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And we do invite you to share this with a friend because, again, a reminder of why we created this because we want you to know that you are not alone experiencing these human things.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: And this topic that we're going to be getting into today specifically is can be a heavy one.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we do want to pre-warn that and let you know that we are coming from a place that of just consciousness, just of no judgment and allowing yourself to just get curious.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: That is our biggest thing.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Everything that that you may be triggered with with our podcast, it is all with curiosity.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: It is all with giving yourself a little grace and a little permission slip as well.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: So this episode, we are getting into what your relationship is with alcohol.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, if alcohol doesn't resonate with you, you can fill in the blank with something else.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: You can also just recognize the tendencies and the habits that are not serving you as well.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: So this episode is going to be really not exactly about whether you drink, it's really just understanding why you drink and whether the choice is actually yours, or is it on autopilot?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So before we get into more of the like understanding why and everything, we want to share a little bit about our experiences and how we feel about this topic right now.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: So this is pretty prominent from myself right now.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: And um I want to share that from before, of course, I'm in my 30s now and alcohol before, especially when I was in my 20s, I worked at a liquor store for five years, basically from like yeah, from like 1918, 19, really.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um through my 20s, in the beginning 20s, you know, when I was partying because I and I, you know, it was fun because I was in the age of like, you know, wanting to drink and seeing all the cool things and social drinking and friends, because you know, that's what was normal around us.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: I actually didn't start drinking in high school until like junior year.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: So like that was a gift, I would say, because we weren't pressured.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't necessarily pressured to do anything like that until that time and definitely went there and got sick and dude all the things, the crazy things, you know, blackout drunk and all that stuff.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: And especially my 20s, especially when I was doing when I was still working at the liquor store and I went to hair school then.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I would go out.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I would go out to the clubs and go out with friends and parties and pretty much get blackout like every single time.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was just always drinking and then being like, you know, a little crazy, a little messy, you know, and it just it it was fun at that time, right?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: And then of course I wouldn't remember it.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: So it is what it is, and that was a big part of my 20s, you know, is socializing, drinking, having fun, celebrating, then going to family events and drinking.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I am glad that I had those experiences because again, this is just was normal for us.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: It was the normals for me.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, you know, celebrated and everything to like have a drink and try this and you know, keep drinking and whatever.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: So the lines were very blurred uh with my relationship with alcohol because I just didn't know any better at that time.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: And now I would say, even the last couple of years, you know, and being my boyfriend in the beginning, especially, we definitely drank more, of course, going out, and that's what our dates were around and everything.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And now we've shifted gears.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say that right now I am drinking a lot less.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm actually we were we were planning basically to go, we're in August, so we're we were planning to not drink at all this month.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: We drank the very first day, so literally August 1st, we met up your friends.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it was a mistake.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's the thing that we recognized.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: We were like, why did we do this to ourselves?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because we we tend to, you know, have fun, socialize, and then it's like someone else is buying you a drink, and then you're getting the next round, and then it just spirals, and then you're you don't actually are actually able to like exercise your choice, which is hard because you know, we want to cut back and we want to, you know, make better decisions, but sometimes it doesn't happen that way.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: So we were like, yeah, no, we're not drinking.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: We want to be on this health kick right now.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're really focusing on our own energy, we're focusing on our health, we're focusing on our habits, and alcohol cannot come with us for that reason.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I have been doing my cunalini practices and my certification and all these things that I absolutely love and have been shifting and changing my life.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I know when I drink, and if I do lose control, you know, of how many drinks I'm drinking, or I feel like shit the next day.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, this is not who I'm supposed to be.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is not who I want to become.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I have been playing with the idea actually over the last few months of like I should just quit and I should stop.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm getting this nudge every single time, but I don't listen to it fully.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm listening to it, which is really great.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm actually really excited to like say no and be like, wow, I'm so proud of myself every single time, even though it's really uncomfortable to tell somebody that I'm usually drinking with that no, I'm not drinking tonight.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, as a woman, of course, too, they they think other things.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, are you pregnant or whatever?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that is definitely something that I'm like thinking in my head, like, no, I'm not.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just trying to do these reasons.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like choosing.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I yeah, it just it's it's shifting because I know how my body is affected with it now.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: So Desi, I said I love to hear your experience because I know you have your own story as well.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you've been around here for a while, you know that I was addicted to meth at a very young age.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was definitely drinking before that.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was dabbling in a lot of drugs and you know, alcohol was just kind of those things that like it didn't really excite me at that age.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And um, when I got sober, I stayed sober for about five years, and I was always going out with the girlies at the clubs when I was in DD, which was fun because I could go out still and like have a blast and dance like a fool and not have to be drunk because I was like, you know, the term young and dumb.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was still having a lot of fun, but I I actually kind of really took pride in being able to get everybody home safely.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so that lasted, and then I ended up um deciding that I did want to drink and I got sober at like what was I 17 a month before I turned.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, the anniversary is coming up in the next few months here, and I was just before I turned 18.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was very young when I got addicted to drugs.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was numbing all of my emotions.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to deal with my emotions, and so there's been this like uh very cautious, conscious um uh substance like for me, like you know, making sure I'm not drinking too much, making sure I'm not using cannabis too much or whatever I decide to do, like very conscious, because I know that I can go there, right?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I have definitely gotten like my as I was drinking more and more and more.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I I think probably maybe I was drinking around like 20, I think my 25th birthday.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think remember my 25th birthday, I had gotten my braces off and I went to we went roller skating for my 25th birthday.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we went to the bar next door to drink.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I was drinking by my well that by the time I was 25, but I had always really like been super cautious with drinking.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: But as it went on and as my relationship with alcohol went on, I was drinking more and more and more.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then I had started, I actually wasn't a big blackout drinker, but then I was becoming more of a blackout drinker because as we get older, all the things, you know, start changing and shifting and stuff.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't like that.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I really like didn't like to time warp as somebody, one of my coworkers at the time, like, oh, you time warped.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, I don't like that.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't like not knowing what I said or what I did.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel good.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I um, but I I was still drinking and stuff.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be more cautious about it.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And uh then I got when when I met Jason, um, he his nickname for me was Rockstar.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I would literally like go to work and then I'd go out with all my work friends and we would go drink and then we'd go to the work the next day, and then I'd party on the weekends, and like I was just always doing something at this point in my life.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how to be alone, so I always had something to do.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so yeah, so my nick nickname was Rockstar.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then Jason and I we had a lot of fun.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: We did drink a lot when we first started like dating and and when we were got together, like we there was a lot of connection over drinking, but I would say some of those five big our biggest fights was alcohol induced as well.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was yeah, that's always like a little eye-opener.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, if I'm like not being who I am when I'm drinking, uh, there's something more here, right?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, so it kind of escalated.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't say escalated, but I just had keep drinking, especially in 2020 when we were all locked down.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I was drinking a lot then.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Big for me too.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know we had we were just in on the beginning of our certification, and I, you know, we so let's say we graduated certification in 2019 in November.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Then the the pandemic happened, and then we were all like locked into our house, and then so we were drinking even more.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: But we were also in our awakening and then realizing like, okay, alcohol is not like where I want to be spending my time.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't actually like you were saying, it wasn't who I wanted to be, it wasn't what I wanted to do.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: But I also know that I didn't want to force myself into quitting because I didn't believe in that.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't believe in that um unless like you actually absolutely have to like quit something.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted it to be like a natural progression.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it took me a while.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: I would say like a few years to like naturally quit drinking.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: I would for a long time just set the intention and like, you know, we're gonna talk more about like the things we did to like help ourselves, like not drink too much.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um but yeah, I really had to set that intention.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think naturally as you're on your healing journey as well, like you sh start shifting, like the alcohol doesn't feel as good.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: And let's not talk about that we're getting older and like you don't sleep as well, like you don't metabolize it as much, like all that as well, like starts playing a role as you're getting older too.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you're like, wait a minute, why am I drinking?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm more dehydrated, I can't sleep through the night.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go home over.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: So all that was a factor for sure.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, alcohol has been one of those things where it's like just really shoved in our faces.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally everywhere.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like every movie you put on, every show you're watching, every billboard, it is all about the alcohol.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so I know me and Elisa are millennials, right?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so I believe our generation really, really went hard with the alcohol.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: And there wasn't as much education back then, right?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like we the internet was still like new in the 90s, right?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like we were not, we didn't have as much information at our fingertips, right?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we weren't realizing like how unhealthy it was and what it was doing to our body and how it was interrupting our hormones and all that good stuff.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: So now, you know, like Gen Z, I think is yeah, it was a Gen Z that is drinking way less than we are these days, which is great.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: But for us, it was like all about the wine, right?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like the mommy wine culture, drinking the wine, you know, having to have that glass of wine at night, and then like how much are we celebrating with alcohol?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I I find myself wanting to still have like a glass of champagne, like and celebrate, right?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I had to make a decision that like I might have a headache if I have that glass of champagne, right?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right, but like we're celebrating with alcohol, we're like drinking when we're stressed, right?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: When we're having a bad day, it's like oh I just need a drink, and like it does help, like that's for sure.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like it does take the nerves off, right?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know I used to use alcohol for a little actually that's coming back to me.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when I was uh had a lot of anxiety.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, yeah.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I was using it like to numb my my anxiety.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so you know, the girls' night out, the vacations, the dinner, we're having a bad day, we're having a good day, like everything was related to alcohol, and maybe it is for you, and that's okay, right?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we're just bringing light and awareness to the situation.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And chances are if you're live listening to the podcast, you've have started to question and think about your relationship with alcohol, or maybe it's another substance where you're like, ah, it's not really serving me right now.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really just if you really start paying attention to how much the alcohol has like shoved down our views and our beliefs and like what we need, it's actually like what is the hinted agenda behind the alcohol, right?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it does you do go out and you spend a lot of money, right?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like you do get lazy, you're not, you don't feel like like you were saying, you don't feel like going to the gym the next day, you don't feel like getting up and doing the thing, right?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a way to keep, I believe, people controlled as well.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, if we feed them the alcohol, we know that it's going to do X, Y, and Z.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, we just keep pumping it in.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's like on all of the TV shows, right?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And like we always laugh because it's like, who really just pours a glass of scotch at the in the middle of the day and drinking, like as a lawyer, right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, right, but but that's what they're like showing to us, right?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's what we're learning.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so at a very young age, we're learning this in the movies as well.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, I know you talked about the pressure, like people thinking, like, oh, what's wrong with you?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: I remember, especially when I was younger, and I'd go to these clubs and people be like, You're not drinking?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, like the looks that people give you.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I was I used to tell them, No, I'm allergic.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if I drink, I uh break out in handcuffs.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: And people would like look at you and think, it's like, well, literally, like, there is a chance that if I drink, I might break out in handcuffs, especially when I was in recovery, right?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, you come up with these little like smart alec things to like tell people and stuff, but it's like, why do we shame people or why do we think that, oh my gosh, what do you mean you don't drink, right?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but it's just because it's been so normalized.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're no, we're bringing the light to it, we're really just seeing like what is it that we want to have the relationship with our alcohol, not what we've been told and what not what we've been, you know, fed our whole life.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is it that we actually want to have our relationship with alcohol?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, for me, I know that I still enjoy it sometimes, but it's very like few and far between.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, later on in the episode, I want to share with you guys like how did I really start shifting this?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I can say to even because you talked about like control, right?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's like alcohol is just in our face.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's the celebrate with the wine, celebrate with the wine, celebrate with um, you know, whatever it is, and a shot, you know, like literally that's that's our downfall every time because um my parents have a bar now down the basement, and you know, it's it's fun to do a happy hour, but it's like we just overdo it every single time.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, what the heck?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, love them, but it's too much.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: The thing too is like, you know, you get that okay, take that one shot, and then you're gonna take two.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's starting to feel real good.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now you forgot why you weren't drinking in the first place, and then like it just snowballs, and that's where I caught myself a lot when I was trying to drink less.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was like catching myself in those moments where I'm like, shit, I'm like five drinks in now, dang it.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like that's not where I wouldn't be.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then of course it's like, you know, my my family especially are just like smart asses and and ball busters, so they're just like you don't need water, like you know, whatever, like you know, so it's like you know, the pressuring, you know.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: Love them, you know, but the pressure sometimes when you're trying to choose better for yourself, it's hard to like have this normal scene and someone else can't see, like, like what do you mean?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a drink or whatever.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, and last week we had we went over there and I was like, no, I'm not drinking, like I'm sticking with it.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm seeing progress in my body, I'm seeing progress in my health and my energy, and like it's a no for me.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I definitely got some looks with my parents and my family, and they're just like okay, fine, you know, whatever, you know.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: But but again, it's it's it's it's for me, it's not for anybody else.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll share this later too.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a big thing that like you have to realize like where you're actually being programmed.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because the other pieces too, what what I'm realizing and in a in our my partnership with with my boyfriend, like we realize like what actually happens after we drink, you know, and that's the biggest thing too that I keep looking at.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what is the we me and Desi always talk about like where are you gaining energy and what's draining your energy, right?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: So drinking was draining because of the other things that fell into place afterwards.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: So if we're going out and hanging with friends, it's great.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's so fun.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: We love to socialize and hang out, but we normally get hungry.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we're buying takeout, we're buying things, we're getting food, we're spending more money, which we don't want to do.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then we're we're in eating things that are not healthy.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: So we're just adding to the things that are not aligned with what we actually desire.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so instead of, you know, making smart decisions, our decisions and morals start to get blurred when we drink, you know?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: So again, another thing is, you know, when you're celebrating, we celebrate with food.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's the other piece.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it's really hard to not celebrate with food with a cake when it's a birthday or a celebration, you know.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's like just these little conscious behaviors or unconscious behaviors and unconscious habits that we have, it's like what actually aligns with us, you know, moving forward.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: So this part of our the episode, we're going to dive into it a little bit.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: So really understanding and exploring and being curious about the difference between actually consciously choosing or just automatically reaching for it.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: So alcohol specifically, and anything.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it could be food, it could be marijuana, it could be um another drug of choice, you know, it could be something that is, it could be scrolling, honestly.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: It could be any of these things.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: But whatever your poison is, right?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: It can become a way to create distance from uncomfortable emotions.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: We've we've kind of started to talk about it a little bit, but what does an unconscious or a conscious choice to drink actually look like?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: So when you choose or when you are just socially being like, Yeah, sure, get me a drink, and it's like, okay, maybe the first one's fine, but then afterwards you're like, I want to drink of water, and someone automatically just gives you a drink, you know, and you're like, Well, I can't not drink it, and da-da-da.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: But you're you're also falling into not listening to your own intuition, you're not listening to your own energy of saying no.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: So you are numbing a part of you in that moment still.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: But whenever you consciously uh reach for a drink, a lot of times it is unconscious because of these behaviors and these habits that we have.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: So whether it is you come home from the end of the day and you're celebrating because it's the end of the day or it's the weekend, whatever that is, just really understanding the underlying intention behind the drink.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, a lot of us use alcohol to take the edge off of stress, anxiety, loneliness, anger, sadness, or overwhelm.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: The end of the day drink, you know, what is it actually for?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a ritual?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a reward?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Is it relief?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Is it enjoyment?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, of course it can actually like turn your brain off and give you that like moment of relief.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: But what is it actually?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's temporary relief because you're not addressing the emotion that is underneath that you're actually feeling that stress, that anxiety, that loneliness, that anger, that sadness or overwhelm.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: We tend to stray away from what we're actually feeling because it's uncomfortable and we don't think we can handle it.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: And instead we choose alcohol or another numbing habit.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: So drinking can absolutely genuinely you can you can actually enjoy it right in the mode, or at least that's what you're telling yourself if you do.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Or how does it feel when you drink because you want to just change how you feel?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Did I say that right?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I twisted that.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's the difference between drinking because you genuinely enjoy it, or drinking because you want to change how you feel?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_01: So notice how it is just again.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is not judgment.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: This is not like you need to do exactly what we're doing.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: This is just an awareness.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: This is just about being curious and being conscious moving forward if that's what feels good for you.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you can have some resistance to it and you can start the choose, or you can just be like, you know what, I'm gonna come back to this.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: When I feel aligned with it, you can.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, what happens when we consistently interrupt uncomfortable emotions instead of allowing ourselves to feel them?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's when we start to just keep digging ourselves under with our physical.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh emotions with our emotions.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_01: Emotions are just energy and motion.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: They are meant to be felt, but when we ignore them and avoid them, we're gonna keep pushing them down, down, down into the body, and two things are gonna happen.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, you get a trigger that is like the last straw and you blow up.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's intentional or not, sometimes we can't control it.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, it actually becomes a physical sensation, so a physical pain because your body is in dis-ease.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: You start to get dehydrated, you start to get lethargic, you start to get sick, you start to get all these things, your body starts not functioning correctly because you're not listening to it and you're not allowing yours your body to process.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you want you choose this self-numbing and self-self-soothing mechanism instead of actually learning to feel and process.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, honestly, at the end of the day, like why we drink is important to know.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why are we are we drinking to, you know, because it's habit?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Are we drinking socially?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: Are we drinking because we're celebrating?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are we drinking because that's what we do every day?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, why are we doing that?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so, you know, with drinking, like it does numb our emotions, right?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's why people drink when they're stressed or when they have anxiety or when they're feeling overwhelmed.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's like, okay, let me numb my emotions with like this can go to anything, right?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: It like you said, food is a big one.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, scrolling on our phone could be another one.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are your vices, right?
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is an episode about alcohol, but it also is about all the other vices that we have that we use to escape our reality that we're in.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're escaping the reality that we're in, it's like, okay, well, what is here for me to look at?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: What is here for me to heal?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: What am I not seeing about myself?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: What am I hiding?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: Where's the shadows, right?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so really getting curious about where that might be coming up for you and asking yourself, like, how often do you drink without even questioning the decision, right?
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just becomes a habit or we're just doing it, right?
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, how often is that happening?
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: And with all the vices, right?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what emotions or situations tend to make us want to drink or want to reach for the thing for the shopping, for the drinking, or for yeah, for the drinking, for the the numbing, going to the kitchen because we're bored, we don't have anything else to do.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're just standing there, like, what's there to eat?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's like how many times do we do that?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: I know I do I'm guilty of that, right?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh wait, I'm not even hungry.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, don't feel like going to write the email that I know I need to do.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or like, I even this morning I felt I like I have that uh app Opal that we've talked about before.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I have these uh journal prompts over here that are hard to sit with, and like some really deep ones, and I'm like, I don't know the answer to this.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like sitting there, and then I find my phone like scrolling on my phone.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, I'm just distracting myself, right?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, how often are we distracting ourselves with the thing?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, some you know, something to remember is like when we're choosing, you know, alcohol, right, for the the celebration or the end of the work or the party, the social, the dating, right?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: The friendships for attention to gain confidence.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's another one, actually, right?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like that liquid courage, like, all right, drink the thing, I'm gonna go on the dance floor, I'm gonna say the thing, I'm gonna text the thing, I'm gonna do the thing.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, how can we find that deeper confidence within us?
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we're drinking, it's just bringing out a part of you that's already within you, right?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so how can we uh find the that courage and find that confidence uh without having to use the alcohol?
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's just like a band-aid, right?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so if alcohol wasn't available tonight, tonight, what emotion would you actually have to sit with?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can replace alcohol with the the scrolling, the numbing, you know, with the food or maybe the cannabis or whatever it is.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like what emotions do you actually have to sit with?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for me a lot of times it was the anxiety, it was the overwhelm, it was the oh, I just need that relief.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And and not saying that that's wrong, right?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like we do need relief, like we do need advices sometimes, but when we're overly using them, when we're totally numbing without being conscious, like there are some times where I'm like, I could definitely go do laundry right now and clean the kitchen, but I'm tired, I'm like my brain's done, I'm gonna go watch TV, but I'm consciously making that decision or I'm constant, I'm consciously scrolling on my phone, not unconsciously, right?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very different energies when we're like, okay, you know what?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have X, Y, and Z to do, but like I'm burnt out and I need to sit down for whatever, and I'm like gonna go choose it rather than shit.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on my phone for the last 20, 30 minutes and I had all this stuff to do, right?
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, where are you consciously and unconsciously making these decisions?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, do you have any examples for you on that one?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I that's why I kind of like added that note to this like confidence was a big one for me or like attention, you know, because like I would go out and drink because I wanted to meet, like I wanted to find a boyfriend.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, I was like out dancing and having a good time or acting like I was having a good time because like I wanted the attention.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted, you know, someone to come up to me and dance with me, or like, you know, think I was cute and whatever.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt uncomfortable, you know, like that's what it was.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was I was drinking to feel comfortable in my own body in order to receive attention, which is so crazy to think about.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like when you look back and you're like, wow, like I just I drank for the confidence.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it was.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I felt more comfortable when I was like could get a little loose, you know, loose a little bit and be like, okay, now I can be myself with somebody, you know?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't trust that like someone would accept me without that.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I think for alcohol too, like it does take over your spirit as well.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like it does take you over.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then like if you go back to like spirit, like because in in other countries, like in Europe and stuff, they call like their drink spirit, right?
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like almost like like taking over your spirit too.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: And like that's like a whole other conversation of like when I know there's been a few times where I'm like, there was definitely some entity that took over me, like for sure, right?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was not me, that wasn't who I am.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, what are we opening ourselves up to when we are drinking, right?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like we are opening ourselves up to other other energies, right?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that some people also can use alcohol to like help them open up more, and like you can get more downloads and you can like, but it's a very fine line between the like because I know I felt like this too, like, oh, I I get inspiration or I'm feeling like a download coming through with alcohol and stuff like that, right?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: But then there's like this very fine line into like, well, where's that information coming from?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: Such a good point.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was something that I actually thought of earlier and I forgot, but um, because that's what I realized too more recently, you know, with alcohol, where like it is definitely one that at the end of the night and whatever, when you're uncomfortable, or like, you know, they sometimes people say, like, you know, when you're drinking, like that's the actual truth that comes out, right?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like what you're actually feeling.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: So because you got that like liquid courage to like say what you want to share without like being like, I was just drunk and you know, I just need to tell you how I felt, like, you know.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: And but it's like sometimes it is the shadow part that comes through.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: I noticed this more recently with myself and just having these different conversations, and I'm like, this is not a part of me that like I want to express from.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it is not a part of me, like by the end of the night, and after drinking a little bit more than I should have, it's like I'm I'm picking at things.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: My my view and my perspective shifts.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the gratitude that I normally have a perspective from.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: It is the like, well, this is wrong, and I'm comparing this and this is wrong, and you know, and I'm like, and I come from a little bit of um, you know, like uh what's the energy like it's just a it's a nice energy.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Negative, negative energy, a negative energy, yeah.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and this has been a very uh recent shift for you because I know it's something that we've been talking about recently more often, and that you know, I kept telling you like it's going, it'll shift when it's time to shift.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: And like yes, you and Steve will definitely start getting into a new level when you guys aren't drinking as much.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like happy that it's here for you because it has become a more natural progression for you, which I I believe is the easier, softer way.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: Again, like you don't want to make it like a whole thing.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, like, that's not what we need.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm gonna be sober for 20 days or like this whole month, and I'm going sober.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I don't like to label myself first in birthday at two because like that's a whole other piece about identity and whatever.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: But like, you know, I don't I just want to be like I just want to consciously choose.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to be like this is this is my choice right now, and it feels the best for me, and that's what matters, you know.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what this this reminder in this last part that we want to share with you and remind you is that uh it is about awareness because when you're able to be present and aware of what you're actually feeling in the moment, then you have conscious choice.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh then you have an alignment after that because when you choose and it feels good, then things start to shift.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a liberal effect, right?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like the good things happen.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's like when you have that filter on, that positive, and you're like, life is great, um, sunshine and rainbows and stuff, and you're going to be feeling good and you're thinking in that way, things are going, you're looking for evidence to prove that.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: Otherwise, you're having a negative mindset and you have negative beliefs and thoughts that are happening.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're going to consistently spiral and you're going to be looking for all the negative things to prove you right.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: So, what does your relationship with alcohol look like right now?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh again, without judgment, without being like totally was all in all those examples, and you know, I don't know how you did it, Lisa, but you know, I could never just stop for a whole month.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's okay.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: Permission to just sit with yourself and understand and be curious because I I didn't know I was gonna feel this way either.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and it's just it's just feeling what feels good for you.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's a natural next step.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: So notice the patterns without judging yourself.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: And what you want to do is start paying attention to these couple of things when you drink, why you drink, what you're actually feeling before you have that thought of like, oh, maybe I want to drink, or you actually reach for the drink.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: What are you feeling before that?
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Try to pause.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: What are you hoping this drink or alcohol or X, Y, and Z fill in the blank will change?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think it'll bring you?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, the hindsight part is how do you feel afterwards?
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: After you reach for the drink, after you have it, you spiral, you whatever, like that day after that you're like, what just happened last night?
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: And how did I go from one drink to ten?
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And wow, you know, one of those things we're just just understanding, just getting curious of those moments.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it is such a great reflection when we are like choosing to do something like I was saying before, is like asking ourselves those questions, you know, and like maybe right now it's drinking less, maybe it's taking a break from XYZ, maybe it's becoming intentional before you do the thing.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's realizing you know alcohol no longer fits the life you're creating, and like creating a pause between the urge and the action, right?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I know for me, I I have to, like I said, I've always been really cautious of my um whatever substance might be, you know, XYZ or the or the thing because I know I have that addictive personality and then I can't get wrapped up out about it.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like having that awareness piece, especially like if you come from a family that uh deals with addicts, alcoholics, and stuff, like I do, like you have to be more cautious about it because I believe that it is in the genes and it is a disease.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: I believe that addiction is a disease.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so like asking, what is it that I actually need right now?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like that simple question, hand over heart, deep breath.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: What do I actually need right now?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: What is it actually true for me?
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said something earlier when we were on the phone, at least I don't remember what we're talking about, but it's like, what does my body actually need right now?
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how often do we ask like our body, which is like literally digesting our food, taking in the air that we're breathing, like you know, getting us up every day to get to work, to get in the shower, to take care of the kids.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like our bodies are doing so much for us, but yet we live in our head and we don't even think about our body half the time, right?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, what is it that I actually need?
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: What does my body actually need?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: And finding other ways to meet that need, right?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, maybe it is like going to the gym and working out a little harder instead of you know drinking, or maybe it is like doing some movement or calling a friend or something that's more productive with your time, right?
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: So it could be, you know, it could be breath work.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about that all the time here, right?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: There's tons of resources out there.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a quick five-minute breath work, maybe it's journaling out your emotions and why you're feeling the way that you're feeling.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's talking it out with your girlfriend and being like, oh, I just had a really bad day.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: And instead of picking up X, Y, Z, I wanted to talk to you about it.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, do you have space to support me?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe you just need a good cry, right?
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like you had a good cry.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_00: Was that today?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was yesterday.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I just woke up in uh a lot of anxiety.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: This eclipse man is getting all of us, right?
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the eclipse was today.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: We're recording it Thursday, the 27th.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I know um I was in, I don't know where, what was I?
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing something online today, and everybody was like, Yes, the eclipse.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like everybody's feeling it, right?
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, what do you need, right?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need some solitude and to be by yourself.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to ask your husband, like, I just need a minute.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: Can I get an hour?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I need to go get my toes done.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I need to go, like, just go shopping by myself, like asking for the support.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to reach out to your mom to be like, Can you help with the kids?
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what support do you need to get the solitude or to get the peace that you need in order for you to stop numbing?
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, giving yourself permission to change your relationship with the thing without needing to label yourself, like Lisa already mentioned, right?
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Which is such such a good point because it's like we label ourselves like I am this, right?
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: And like as soon as we put our lay label on it like that, like we're attaching to the thing, right?
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I have anxiety, I have anxiety, I'm doing I have feeling anxiety today.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, those can be true, but I don't need to identify with that.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: That is not who I am.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so really recognizing that alignment can look different for everybody, right?
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's all, you know, we're all different, we're all on our own timelines.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yours isn't better, mine's isn't better, worse, right?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're all on our own timeline.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: So not judging it, it took me like a few years to like really start shifting my relationship with alcohol because I remember like after like a 2020 and stuff like that, like wanting to change my relationship and then finding myself like, oh, damn it, I won't ever drink again, or I had an intention, right?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so some of the things that really worked for me that I've actually uh coached myself through and some of my clients through is like being really intentional when you're going into the situation where you're drinking, right?
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I have my also my family is the same way, especially my older brother.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, take the shot, do the shot, da-da-da-da.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I gave in one time, and after I sat with that, I was like, Why, why did I give in?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't set a good example for my niece and my nephew for one thing.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I didn't want to do it, right?
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so, right, I'm not beating myself up for that because like, what is that gonna do?
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: But like also being like, next time that happens, the answer is no.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: The boundary is no.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so sometimes when we are setting that um intention and we're trying to drink less or whatever, we're gonna fail.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's gonna happen.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's a good point.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's gonna happen.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so what I would really suggest is like, okay, so when you're going into is maybe you're going to like a work event, right?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like a happy hour and you're like, okay, so my intention is to maybe it's a number of drinks, right?
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm gonna have three drinks.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, or maybe my intention is after every drink, I'm gonna ask myself, do I need a water or do I need another drink?
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, like playing with different ways for you to be more present and conscious in the moment of the drinking has been super helpful for me.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: And like, and and also like the permission to like switch and change, right?
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're human and we're not always gonna want to stick with the thing that we said, right?
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, like giving ourselves that permission as well, but like also just being super intentional and and asking ourselves, like, what is it that I need?
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: Do I need and most of the time if we're feeling really good and the drinks are flowing, the water's not gonna feel good.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: But if you come back to that intention of like, oh, I don't want to feel hungover tomorrow, I wanted to make sure that it hydrates.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, okay, let me go ahead and just have a drink.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's like literally what I found so often is that it just it's the feeling of having a drink in your hand.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's the feeling of the thing.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you right now, you've been drunk enough times to channel the energy of being drunk without having to be drunk.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so like go get the soda water with a lime on it and a short glass, and you feel like you're drinking, right?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, like sometimes it's just like pretending like we're actually drinking.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I find myself doing that a lot too.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I just want like a mocktail, right?
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so many places have like the zero-proof drinks and stuff now, which is awesome.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: But like, please don't charge me$10.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's no alcohol in this.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I know.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's ridiculous.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so those are some of the things that have really helped me.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, another thing too that it really helped me is I had did have done some ketamine treatments as well.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I really, so with ketamine, it rewires the newer net neural networks in your brain.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I really set the intention with the ketamine to like really help me with my drinking.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was like another thing that I um had already been working on the like whole not drinking thing, and but putting that together and like, you know, really just setting that intention over and over again, like really, really helped me to change my relationship with alcohol, which I'm grateful.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I still drink every now and then.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I there's sometimes I wish I could just like tie one on for the day, go out, day drink, have fun, wake up, do it again, right?
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like we used to be able to, but that's just not what my body can do anymore, right?
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not trained for my liver is not trained for that.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um me and Jason joke about it all the time because it's like, what do you even do now?
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like we like date night is not the same because like when you go out to like for date nights, it's like, oh, let's go out, go to dinner, like have a few drinks, maybe go to the bar, have a drink, right?
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's like a couple hours and we hung out or whatever, but now it's like well, we can go out to eat, but we're not drinking.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: So like I don't even know.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: We like we we we struggle with like what do we do now because it is uh such a part of like the like they need to make more fun things for couples to do that do not involve drinking.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you know, of course, for us it's a little little less hot than it is over there for you.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: But me and Steve will we'll take we'll go to the park and go for a walk, and it's like so great.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like we just we like to walk and get some movement in and talk, and it's like so many downloads and like really great conversation comes out of it.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's that's a reminder of like, you know, when you do have those really awesome moments, it's like, well, you know, next week and it's like we want to celebrate or have a date night, like you know, then it's the drink part comes in and it's like, well, is that our intention?
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't we just like go for a walk instead, you know, like or do something else that really soothes you because again, you're just trying to meet a need usually in that moment when you're reaching for a drink.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so finding a different uh action, a different thing to do that you can fill that will really help.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: And and something that I'm learning actually in in my certification is that uh tapping, uh EFT tapping is such a great tool to help you overcome these situations.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: So tapping through when you're feeling um, you know, this urge to to have a drink when it's not aligned with your intention really can help because you can get to the root of like what you're actually feeling in that moment.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can talk it out with somebody, if you can, you know, just go be somewhere else where you just get some solitude.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we just are looking for that like dopamine hit, right?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: So find other ways to find that dopamine dopamine hit because that will also help you to be a little bit easier because sometimes too, we like again, we have that like ritual, right?
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's like Friday night, it's the weekend, it's yeah, let's go out to dinner or let's grab a bottle of wine or something like that.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's like how can we shift that, right?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, or like going out and like talking with our friends.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I've I've been having that so much lately where I'm like, I don't want to go out to the bar because I don't want to be pressured, and like that's not an environment that I want to be in because it doesn't, and no offense to like any friends or anything like that, but it's like that's not the energy that I want to be in.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's not who I'm becoming, which bring brings me to the next point is that this doing this thing and saying yes to yourself in the moment, when you're saying no to a drink, if that is your intention, it's saying yes to yourself and you have to say no to something else.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: So you anything that you do, any habit you do, there's an intention behind it, and you're always saying yes to something and you have to say no to something, right?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like health when you're like trying to work out and trying to be healthy, which I am doing right now.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I have to prep my meals and I have to take the time to do everything and plan everything and like and get up every morning at a certain time to like make sure I have enough time before I work.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to say yes to those things, which means I have to say no to the things that aren't serving me, that are aren't good, that are pulling me away from that goal.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I have been saying yes to myself that is actually in alignment with myself because my intuition is is way more clear right now.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: So it I'm saying yes to the vision of myself, of my future self, my higher self, the version of me that I am becoming, I am filtering every single thing I do through that.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm saying yes to those things which are going to make me uncomfortable in other ways because I have to have some uncomfortable conversations.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: I have to say no to things that I'm used to and really understand the intention.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_01: So again, it's that reminder of uh, you know, uh it's just becoming conscious enough to choose differently.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what I'm doing.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you that since I've been saying yes to myself, probably I I've been doing some really big investments lately because.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm getting a mentorship, I'm getting support.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: And ever since I did that, and I'm following through with different things and building confidence and building trust with myself.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: It has been a showing up, like it has been giving me back tenfold, you know?
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I know I'm just still in the beginning.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I'm like, oh, this is what it feels like to be so in your energy, to be so aligned, to feel the things, to do the things, actually do things and feel good about it instead of procrastinating, because that's usually my choice of numbing is avoiding and procrastinating all the things that I know is good for me.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: So this is an invitation.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: What are you saying yes to right now in this moment?
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: And what are you saying no to?
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: And do you want to shift it?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: So good.
• 44:48
  unknown: Yeah.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_00: So okay.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to go in this last part?
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_01: So then next time, just a reminder, we did kind of cover this a little bit, but a quick little practice that you can do next time you drink, you smoke, you scroll, you eat, whatever it is that your vice is, before you do this thing, before I drink, what am I feeling?
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need?
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then while you're doing the action, if you do say yes to that and you're like, I just want to do two drinks and that's it.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: While you're drinking, are you actually enjoying this or are you trying to change how you feel?
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: And after, check in.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: How do I feel physically, emotionally, and energetically?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: And uh start to hindsight this and start to like observe this more than be in it.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_01: No judgment, no shame, no guilt, just information for what you're actually feeling and just understanding and getting curious about who you are and what actually matters to you, your priorities, because this is all what matters, because the moment of the now is what builds your future and builds what is coming to you.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: So your future self will thank you if you align with that, if you align with those choices, and that is how you can move forward.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: We were playing beer pong, we were doing all the things, right?
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like drinking like vodka bottles and being a big thing.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: Definitely need a Taiwan on for sure.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if you find yourself struggling with it, please reach out to us.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like we both have been navigating this, we both have been working through it.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and there's no shame in it.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're talking about, like this is just where we're at.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I know there can be a lot of shame in that.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to like drive that home.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, cool, this is where I'm at.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to do in order to shift it and change it?
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do need support, please reach out to either one of us at Real Talk Real Healing Podcast on IG.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're here local on the YouTube channel as well.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if you guys are, you know, depending on where you're at, you could be listening to us on Spotify, on the podcast apples, and also on YouTube.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: So um, that's another way that you can connect with us as well.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we've been talking about doing this episode for a while now, um, as it's been like shifting and changing.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm glad that we finally really just got we're able to like talk about our experiences and how we've been able to shift it because I think as we're going into this like new earth, right, there's a lot of things that are dismantling.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, alcohol is slowly dissipating, and it's really fun and it's really cool because at the end of the day, I really do think that it holds us back, and it is not something that we want to bring with us into the future if we're you know trying to reach our highest level or whatever you have, you want to say it.
• 47:36
  unknown: Yeah.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: What a good episode.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: We hope you enjoyed this.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Let us know what you think.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_01: Give us some feedback or write some comments on the episodes, wherever you're listening.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: We just thank you that you're here and stay tuned for the next episode.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_01: We got some more episodes coming up, and we might have some guests on very soon.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: So super excited for that.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: And we just are so grateful that you're here supporting us no matter where you're at, no matter where you're listening.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: And we will see you next time.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_02: Bye, guys.