Latest / The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson / Not Every Thought Deserves a Seat

Transcript

Not Every Thought Deserves a Seat · The Humanistic Leader Podcast- Dr. Craig Nathanson

• 0:00
  Welcome back. I'm really glad you're here. Let's spend a few quiet minutes together.
• 0:07
  As always, imagine we're sitting together on our favorite park bench.
• 0:13
  People are walking by, some are talking, some are laughing, some just seem lost in thought.
• 0:21
  And for the next few minutes, we don't have to go anywhere. We could simply sit.
• 0:27
  Have you ever noticed that thoughts behave a little like visitors.
• 0:32
  Some knock gently, some quietly pass through, and then there are those thoughts
• 0:37
  that just seem to walk right in the front door and make themselves at home.
• 0:42
  I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Not because life has been especially
• 0:47
  difficult. Actually, life has been pretty good.
• 0:51
  But even though during those good seasons of my mind, I still have a habit of wandering a bit.
• 0:57
  Sometimes my mind starts to think about, you know, getting older.
• 1:01
  Sometimes my health, sometimes work, sometimes things that, you know, haven't even happened.
• 1:08
  It's amazing how convincing those thoughts can sound. You know,
• 1:12
  for a long time, I assumed that every thought, you know, deserved my attention.
• 1:18
  If it appeared, well, you know, I should analyze it. I should solve it.
• 1:22
  I should prepare for it. You know, maybe you've done that too.
• 1:26
  Even this week, I spent time doing something I tell my students not to do, a worry.
• 1:33
  I tell my students, if you worry too much, just schedule yourself 30 minutes a week to worry.
• 1:39
  Seriously, sit down, take out a piece of paper, write down all the things that you're worried about,
• 1:45
  And then let it go until next week And then continue Not to dismiss the importance
• 1:51
  of thoughts that come up But I tell my students this process will make you realize
• 1:56
  In a few weeks that spending.
• 2:00
  Endless times worrying Without doing something about it Is not a good use of
• 2:04
  time So yeah, I worried this week Sometimes I forget my own advice But I also
• 2:10
  caught myself this week And gave myself this advice You know,
• 2:15
  these thoughts, these worries They can wait,
• 2:18
  And, you know, as I did that, you know, something kind of surprised me.
• 2:24
  You know, these worrying thoughts didn't disappear. They simply stopped being
• 2:28
  in charge. And there's a difference.
• 2:31
  I wasn't pretending that everything was perfect. I wasn't, you know,
• 2:35
  ignoring reality. I was simply choosing that this just wasn't the right moment.
• 2:40
  And somehow that gave me my morning back.
• 2:44
  It made me realize our minds produce thousands of thoughts every day.
• 2:49
  But wisdom isn't believing every one of them Wisdom is learning which thoughts
• 2:54
  deserve a seat on the park bench And which ones can simply,
• 2:59
  keep walking Lately I've had this reoccurring dream Where,
• 3:03
  I'm back in corporate world, big company As I used to years ago And I'm sitting
• 3:09
  in my little cubicle The cubicle that's too small when you turn your knee It
• 3:14
  hits the desk because only one person can fit in the cubicle,
• 3:18
  I used to remember trying to put family pictures up on this Cushion,
• 3:23
  that was the wall And nothing would ever stick I think they designed it that
• 3:27
  way Anyway, I've had this reoccurring dream lately That I'm back in the cubicle, really busy,
• 3:33
  But with this nagging feeling in my mind That what I'm doing isn't really making
• 3:38
  a difference to anyone Then I wake up.
• 3:42
  And I realize that's not my life anymore And I feel relieved And grateful for
• 3:49
  the life You know I've intentionally Intentionally built,
• 3:53
  I wonder how many thoughts quietly steal our joy like this.
• 3:58
  Not because they're true, but because we give them too much, you know, attention.
• 4:02
  Maybe today we don't have to solve everything. Maybe today we don't have to
• 4:06
  have every question answered.
• 4:09
  Maybe today we simply just notice the thought. Smile. Let it keep walking.
• 4:16
  I've noticed something else recently. When I walk outside without my headphones,
• 4:20
  I notice trees, conversations, clouds. park benches.
• 4:25
  Sometimes nothing special happens at all.
• 4:29
  And strangely, those ordinary moments are becoming some of my favorite parts
• 4:33
  of the day. In fact, after this podcast, I'm going to go for my walk.
• 4:38
  Maybe these walks remind me that life doesn't always need improving.
• 4:43
  Sometimes it just needs noticing.
• 4:47
  I came back from a working vacation. After a few weeks, I look out my office
• 4:51
  window, and I notice that a new branch has popped up on the palm tree outside my office.
• 4:57
  For some reason, as I look at that now, as I record this podcast,
• 5:03
  that tree that popped up, new growth, I don't know, it's a metaphor for my own growth.
• 5:09
  It makes me happy to see that growth is still possible, new discovery is still
• 5:13
  possible, new becoming of me is still possible, And that's true for you, too,
• 5:20
  I'm beginning to think that peace is in the absence of difficult thoughts Peace is quietly,
• 5:25
  you know, deciding which thoughts deserve our attention today And as I looked
• 5:29
  at this palm tree, you know, that's where I was placing my attention And the rest can wait.
• 5:37
  So this week, I'd like to invite you to try something. The next time your mind
• 5:41
  fills with worry, don't argue with it. Don't fight it.
• 5:46
  Don't judge yourself. Simply smile and quietly say, those thoughts can wait.
• 5:54
  And then look around, listen.
• 5:58
  Take one slow breath. You might discover that life has been patiently waiting
• 6:03
  for you while your thoughts were trying to take you somewhere else.
• 6:07
  Thank you, as always, for spending these few quiet minutes with me.
• 6:11
  I always appreciate our time together. Until next time, take good care of yourself.
• 6:18
  And remember, not every thought deserves a seat on the park bench.
• 6:23
  Some can simply keep walking.