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Mojo Monday - The Perfectionistic Voice In Your Head with Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hi everyone, Carly Talor here for this week's Mojo Monday.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: So something that comes up a lot with my clients
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: is that they set goals. They start off with a
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: lot of enthusiasm, they've got a lot of motivation, dive
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: headfirst into action mode and things are going really, really well.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: But then inevitably life gets in the way, something happens
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: and they fall off the wagon and throw their hands
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: up in the air and give up. Now, this pattern
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: is often tied to perfectionistic traits, and I'm sure so
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: many of you listening are going to relate to this.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: So it's this all or nothing approach. It's either perfect
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: or it's not at all. But let's be honest, and
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I know you're going to know this rationally, it's not
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: a realistic approach to anything because life is messy, it's unpredictable,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: and it's full of these curve balls. You know, injuries
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: or poor sleep, or social events come up, kids getting sick.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: The list is endless that can derail you from this
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: perfect plan that you've set for yourself. So a shift
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: in perspective is going to really help. So instead of
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: focusing solely on what you're going to do, on a
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: good day, because that's what we tend to do. We
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: tend to set the goals and we go, right, I'm
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: going to do this, I'm going to do this, and
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: at this time, I'm going to do this and everything.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: When everything goes to plan, everything's great. But also plan
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: for what you're going to do on a challenging day.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: So this is about expecting the challenges. So when something
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: happens that prevents you from doing the full workout or
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: attending the class or diving into that deep work, ask yourself,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: what can I still do? Because you can always do something.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: And there's a stoic practice of pre meditatio malorum, which
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: in Latin means the pre meditation of evils, and this
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: is about visualizing what could go wrong in advance to
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: prepare yourself for the worst case scenarios so they don't
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: catch you by surprise. Because something is always better than nothing.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Something keeps you moving forward, and that's a good thing
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: because progress, not perfection, is what matters. And if you
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: expect every day to go perfectly, you're setting yourself up
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: for disappointment. So notice that perfectionistic voice in your head
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: and kindly tell it to step aside while you get
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: on with what you need to do. So often we
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: think ourselves out of taking action. You know, we think, oh, well,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I couldn't go to the class, or I couldn't do
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: what I promised myself that I was going to do,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: so I'm going to do nothing. This is all just thinking.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: There is always a choice. Whatever that self talk is,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: there's always a choice, and you get to choose whether
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: you stay on that wagon or not. So let's say
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: you plan to go to a sixty minute class, but
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: your day spiraled out of control and you ended up
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: working late. So instead of skipping it entirely, what you
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: would do is go home, put your gear on and
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: do something. So whether that's a ten minute stretch session
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: or a power walk around the block or whatever it is,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: it's still progress. Or maybe you had an hour of
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: deep work scheduled, or you had some project that you're
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: working on in the phone rang and your kids are
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: sick and they're telling you to go and pick them up.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Even doing a fifteen minute focused session of deep work
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: can make a difference. So what we are developing by
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: doing this is being flexible in our thinking, adapting to
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: the situation and keep showing up even if it's not perfect.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Consistency always beats perfection every time. So this week, think
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: about your goals and your plans for not just the
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: good days, but for the tough ones too. Even at
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: the beginning of the week, have a look at your
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: calendar and see what's going on, and anticipate any obstacles,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: anything that's going to stop you from doing what you
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: would like to do, but then anticipating, okay, well what
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: can I do? What's my plan be for when life
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: throws a curveball? So remember it's always progress over perfection,
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean that perfectionistic voice is not going
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: to come up. But just make sure you don't think
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: yourself out of action. I have never met a perfect person,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: and I think we all need to accept our own
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: imperfections and the imperfection of life as well. So have
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: a great week everyone, and I will catch you next week.