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Stop Guessing in the Bedroom: 7 Sexual Assumptions That Hurt Couples · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing marriage well for October 2nd, 2026. Stop guessing in the bedroom.
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  Seven sexual assumptions that hurt couples.
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  Many couples' sex lives are littered with incorrect assumptions.
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  I've probably mentioned before the young couple Lori and I were working with who did this.
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  As I was out with him getting some ice, Lori was with her finishing the dinner we would share.
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  We both learned that the one we were with really wanted to try rear-entry sex,
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  but were sure their spouse would be offended by the idea.
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  I wonder how many couples go years without doing something they would both enjoy
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  because of such assumptions.
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  I'll run through a few sexual assumptions. Might any of these be a factor in your marriage?
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  Good girls don't. Some ladies who
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  stay completely sexless go into marriage ready to make up for lost time.
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  Perhaps your wife is holding out because she fears what you will think.
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  Or perhaps your husband is holding back because he fears what his good girl will think about him.
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  The way to deal with this is to mention something just past what you do now
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  and see what kind of reaction you get.
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  And don't assume surprise means that they dislike what you said.
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  Her not having an orgasm, be it regular or occasional, most women fail to orgasm from time to time.
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  Some are fine with that and say they sometimes enjoy sex without it and some
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  are as upset about it as any man would be.
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  Many men have been told it's not that important for a woman and may assume that
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  it's true if she says nothing.
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  He may remain quiet to avoid embarrassing her and she may assume him not saying
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  anything means he doesn't care.
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  He knows I orgasmed. He may not. Or he may think that you did when you didn't.
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  If he asks, don't get upset. It means he can't tell, and he cares.
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  You don't have to scream it out as
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  it happens, but at least occasionally commenting on it would be helpful.
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  What we do works for both of us. If you don't talk about it, you don't know this.
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  Embarrassment can keep couples from talking openly about sex,
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  and that is a breeding ground for assumptions.
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  Both women and men put up with sex that is far from what they want because they
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  don't think their spouse will be willing to change. You have not because you ask not.
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  It's still good for them. Bodies and desires change over time.
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  What was great a decade ago might be so-so now. On the other side,
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  what was off the table in the past might now be desired.
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  Addressing things that don't work anymore is not rejection. It's an invitation to something better.
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  He learned that from porn. Most men spend a lot of time thinking about sex and new ways to do it.
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  You might also have heard about it from a friend or a non-pornographic media
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  source. Don't underestimate how often he has sex with you in his head.
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  They must be having an affair. Folks think this when their spouse suddenly does
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  something different, wants more sex, or seems less interested in sex.
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  There are many other reasons for these things. Assuming adultery is never a good idea.
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  Think about the sex life you share with your spouse. What parts of it have never been openly discussed?
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  Those are all places where assumptions could be lurking. What do you need to
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  bring out into the light?
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  This is Paul, and assumptions get in the way of doing sex well.