Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Alan Winterbottom Delivers Your Food
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred. D uy Away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred duy
- 0:12Speaker 1: away dot com or call eight hundred do you y Away?
- 0:16Speaker 2: It's time for your phone tap and imagine for whatever reason,
- 0:19Speaker 2: your Uber Eats driver calls you to say he's gonna
- 0:22Speaker 2: be late.
- 0:23Speaker 3: Oh that's happened. Yeah, it sucks, yeah, and you're trying
- 0:27Speaker 3: to figure out why.
- 0:28Speaker 2: Usually that conversation would be pretty normal, like I got
- 0:32Speaker 2: lost or I got stuck in traffic, the restaurant took
- 0:35Speaker 2: too long. But not when eighty nine year old Alan
- 0:38Speaker 2: Winterbottom is your delivery driver away.
- 0:42Speaker 3: He sells his driver's barely and.
- 0:45Speaker 2: He's gonna tell you all about why he's late. And
- 0:48Speaker 2: if you don't listen to him, he's ready to pick
- 0:50Speaker 2: a fight. Oh no, it's your phone tap right now.
- 0:53Speaker 1: It's another right, Hello, Yes, Hello.
- 1:04Speaker 3: Gosh ear pods are dunk and junk? Is this Sarah
- 1:09Speaker 3: mc Yes? You you you ordered delivery from from a
- 1:17Speaker 3: breets right?
- 1:19Speaker 1: Yes?
- 1:19Speaker 2: Are you at the door?
- 1:21Speaker 3: Well, not quite. I am your delivery driver. My name
- 1:25Speaker 3: is Alan Winterbottom. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
- 1:31Speaker 1: Nice to meet you.
- 1:32Speaker 3: Are you close by or do you know when you're
- 1:35Speaker 3: gonna be here?
- 1:36Speaker 1: Well?
- 1:36Speaker 3: No, so you live in kind of a bad part
- 1:39Speaker 3: of town. Did you know that?
- 1:41Speaker 1: No, kind of over here? Are you sure you have
- 1:45Speaker 1: the right address?
- 1:46Speaker 3: Yeah? No, I got it. This is a I mean
- 1:49Speaker 3: it's a regular neighborhood. Okay, well that's not the problem.
- 1:53Speaker 1: Okay.
- 1:54Speaker 3: I was driving and my prostates started doing loop to loops.
- 1:58Speaker 3: It's like, oh God, why is that information pertinent right now? Well,
- 2:03Speaker 3: when nature calls, you gotta answer, all right, And I
- 2:07Speaker 3: didn't have the dipe on. If you need to go
- 2:11Speaker 3: like I this was not shod make too much information
- 2:15Speaker 3: for me? Should you yeaper? There? Gen z what? I'm
- 2:19Speaker 3: sure you'll tweet about this later. I'm trying to have
- 2:22Speaker 3: a conversation. Don't means you know you're supposed to respect
- 2:26Speaker 3: your elders when they're talking. Do you please don't talk
- 2:28Speaker 3: to me like that? Okay, now you sound like my
- 2:31Speaker 3: second ex wife, Helen. She passed from the gout. Thank God.
- 2:37Speaker 3: Why that hussy's still nagging me from the grave?
- 2:40Speaker 2: You're unbelievable.
- 2:41Speaker 1: Man.
- 2:41Speaker 3: I don't know what your deal is. I had to
- 2:43Speaker 3: pull into one of one of the Marco stations do
- 2:46Speaker 3: a little tcb y taking care of busyness. I mean
- 2:50Speaker 3: you're not the same.
- 2:52Speaker 2: Okay, great, anyway, can you tell me when you're gonna
- 2:55Speaker 2: be here?
- 2:56Speaker 1: This?
- 2:56Speaker 3: And I've been in here ten minutes and I just
- 2:59Speaker 3: realized now they ran out of teepee.
- 3:01Speaker 2: Sure please, I don't want to know any of this.
- 3:04Speaker 3: It's like the movie Castaway. Have you seen that one?
- 3:07Speaker 1: Can you?
- 3:08Speaker 3: I'm stranded over here. I'm looking down at Wilson staring
- 3:12Speaker 3: back at me. All right, my boy, you're screwed.
- 3:15Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is way too much information.
- 3:18Speaker 3: Will you asked?
- 3:19Speaker 1: I did not ask. The only thing I'm trying to
- 3:22Speaker 1: get out of you is to tell me when.
- 3:24Speaker 2: You're gonna be here.
- 3:25Speaker 3: I'm trying to tell you I can't until I get
- 3:28Speaker 3: some teepee. So if you could come meet me at
- 3:30Speaker 3: the Arco.
- 3:31Speaker 2: You're telling me that you're expecting me to bring you
- 3:34Speaker 2: toilet paper to a gas station.
- 3:36Speaker 3: I don't. I am an old man. And if you
- 3:38Speaker 3: would come over and make alan winter bottoms bottom better,
- 3:42Speaker 3: oh gosh, that's a you say that five times fast,
- 3:47Speaker 3: Alan Winter bottoms bottoms better, please bottoms bottom. I can't
- 3:52Speaker 3: see it.
- 3:53Speaker 1: This is disgusting.
- 3:54Speaker 3: I'm hanging up.
- 3:55Speaker 1: Well, I need to get a different delivery.
- 3:57Speaker 3: Don't get your pennies in a bundles.
- 3:59Speaker 2: Do not say that to me.
- 4:01Speaker 3: I didn't want no hoodlums to swipe your food, so
- 4:05Speaker 3: I brought your pant tie into the john with me.
- 4:08Speaker 3: I mean, I'm keeping it warm on my lap.
- 4:11Speaker 1: Okay, I'm done.
- 4:13Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is just like when Nurse Julie read
- 4:16Speaker 3: just my pelvic bone. I am disgusted right now. Your
- 4:21Speaker 3: sister Charlotte didn't seem disgusted by it when I talked
- 4:24Speaker 3: to her. What She actually likes seniors and appreciates them,
- 4:30Speaker 3: unlike some people.
- 4:32Speaker 2: Who is this.
- 4:35Speaker 3: I'm not an old man.
- 4:36Speaker 2: I'm a radio host. My god, this is my real voice.
- 4:41Speaker 2: My name's jeff I'm sorry. I'm from brook and Jeffrey
- 4:45Speaker 2: in the morning, and your sister Charlotte wanted to set
- 4:47Speaker 2: you up for a prank call.
- 4:49Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm gonna kill her.
- 4:52Speaker 3: Hey, I'm gonna swing bi. If I can use your
- 4:55Speaker 3: crapper for a second, that'd be nice. No, God, just
- 5:01Speaker 3: put some loud music on. You won't be able to
- 5:03Speaker 3: hear nothing.
- 5:04Speaker 1: That voice.
- 5:05Speaker 2: I never want to hear that voice ever again.
- 5:07Speaker 3: Play some of those modern jams, you know, hoop them
- 5:10Speaker 3: gumnum style.
- 5:11Speaker 2: Hope, thank you.
- 5:14Speaker 3: Oh, don't just hurt my knee on that one.
- 5:17Speaker 1: I'm going to kill her?
- 5:19Speaker 2: Who to kill her?
- 5:21Speaker 1: Weak up? Every morning was fum tabs weekday mornings on
- 5:24Speaker 1: the twenties Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning