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MONEY DIARIES: From a low income, abusive and challenging background to owning a home all on their own · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. We're back for another
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: shot back Money Diary Monday, where we have a chat
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: to one of our beautiful community members and learn all
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: about them and their journey and their story. And Victoria,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: you love to ask all the purby questions.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Yes, we actually just finished the interview
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  Speaker 3: and now we're doing like the tops and tails, which
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: isn't normal for us, but we're doing it now. And
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  Speaker 3: I'm telling you this was a good like following her journey.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: You're gonna love it. I'm obviously very biased, but Jess,
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  Speaker 3: do you want to read out this week's Money DearS
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  Speaker 3: email for us?
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  Speaker 2: Let's do it. So. This week's direth said, I came
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  Speaker 2: from a low income, single parent household with emotional and
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  Speaker 2: physical abuse. I worked my way up through tape with
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  Speaker 2: three sets and two diplomas, and then went to UNI
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  Speaker 2: after school.
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  Speaker 4: After a shock split.
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  Speaker 2: With my partner in twenty twenty, I lost my land
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  Speaker 2: and building contract and shortly after bought a unit all
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  Speaker 2: on my own are upfront. I never had anything given
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  Speaker 2: to me and I want to talk about buying a
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  Speaker 2: house in the current market as a single and low
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  Speaker 2: income earner. So I'm super excited for this.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, my gosh, Money Diarist, as always, you are on
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  Speaker 3: the line. Hello and welcome.
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  Speaker 4: Hi, thank you for having me Money Diarist.
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  Speaker 3: You said just before you weren't happy with your email intro.
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  Speaker 3: My gosh, I'm so impressed with you. I don't know
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  Speaker 3: what you're talking about.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you, Jess.
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  Speaker 3: And I obviously I hadn't heard it yet, but Jess
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  Speaker 3: was clearly impressed enough to be like, do you want
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  Speaker 3: money direst. We're getting on the show and I cannot
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  Speaker 3: wait to get into it. So without further adoo, let's
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  Speaker 3: just jump straight in. My friend. First question, what is
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  Speaker 3: your attitude towards money?
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  Speaker 4: I have, Like, I mean, given my background, it was
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  Speaker 4: just me and my mom. She was quite a low
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  Speaker 4: income earner. She's working as a teacher's aid in school,
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  Speaker 4: so she had a mortgage on her own and in
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  Speaker 4: the household, it was always very well verbalized that oh,
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  Speaker 4: we don't have enough money, so it had like that
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  Speaker 4: scarcity mindset really early on. So my attitude's kind of
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  Speaker 4: like kept that way and after moving out and stuff.
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  Speaker 4: I just had that drive to be like, Okay, well, no,
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  Speaker 4: I don't want to struggle and I don't want to
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  Speaker 4: feel this stress towards money. I mean I saw it
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  Speaker 4: affect my mom, like mental health wise, she really struggled,
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  Speaker 4: and you know, even we were on food stamps a
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  Speaker 4: lot of the time. And I mean as a kid,
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  Speaker 4: like I was quite embarrassed at the supermarket, but I
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  Speaker 4: didn't really fully realize the extent of struggle that she
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  Speaker 4: had on her and the pressure of that as a
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  Speaker 4: single mom. So yeah, i'd say that's that's probably still
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  Speaker 4: my attitude towards money a bit. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, that's your money story, and that's like where
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  Speaker 3: you've come from and what's going on in your life.
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  Speaker 3: And to be a bit cheeky, I want to ask
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  Speaker 3: another question before we get into it, even though I
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: meant to wait till the end, I'm sorry, do you
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  Speaker 3: know anything about what your mum's money story was?
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  Speaker 4: Like?
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  Speaker 3: Is this a cycle? Is this something that you know
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  Speaker 3: her parents grew up in the same way, or is
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  Speaker 3: this something where you know it's just really tough, Like
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  Speaker 3: tell me a little bit about that.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you for asking. I actually feel like it's really
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  Speaker 4: interesting because it is. I think it's a generational thing.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, my grandma came from Hungary. She struggled. She
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  Speaker 4: worked like five jobs to support her three kids. I
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  Speaker 4: mean they were all like under five when they came over,
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  Speaker 4: and so the struggle was there when she was a
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  Speaker 4: child as well. And in her household. Yeah, they all
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  Speaker 4: had to get jobs when they were like ten just
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  Speaker 4: to support everyone. It's really interesting. And I mean my
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  Speaker 4: mom bought a house really young as well with her
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  Speaker 4: partner or my dad, and it kind of went downhill
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  Speaker 4: when she got cancer. So just before I was born,
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: she had breast cancer, and I think that changed her
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  Speaker 4: mentality towards money as well. So she went from like
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  Speaker 4: doing really well financially and setting herself up to struggling
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  Speaker 4: mentally with the whole cancer diagnosis, and it just became
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  Speaker 4: this thing where she would actually spend all her money.
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  Speaker 4: So she started like buying things to kind of fill
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  Speaker 4: that gap, I guess you could say. So, Yeah, when
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  Speaker 4: I was sort of growing up, she became like quite
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  Speaker 4: like even though she was low income, trying to pay
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: the mortgage, trying to pay food, she also bought a
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  Speaker 4: lot of things like material things, so I kind of
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  Speaker 4: saw that, and from a young age, I kind of
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  Speaker 4: learned like, Okay, well why is this happening? Like if
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  Speaker 4: you could pay you know, mortgage and not be worried
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  Speaker 4: instead of buying these items that you haven't or you
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: won't touch in years. Yeah, yeah, so it's kind of
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  Speaker 4: it's quite interesting.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's had that is actually super interesting. And I
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  Speaker 3: ask because often it is a cycle and you learn
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  Speaker 3: from other people's money stories and it takes very conscious
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: decisions to change your money story, but you have to
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  Speaker 3: acknowledge where you've come from and where that might have
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  Speaker 3: come from, and why that's the case in global Why
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  Speaker 3: do I feel like that about money? Why does it
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  Speaker 3: really frustrate me? Or why does it make me feel sick?
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  Speaker 3: And it's like, well, that's because that's how you grew up,
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  Speaker 3: and that makes sense. And there's no shame in money
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  Speaker 3: stories because they're not actually our fault. They're not actually
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  Speaker 3: our choosing. No one chooses their initial money story. But
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  Speaker 3: the cool thing about money stories is that you get
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  Speaker 3: to choose where they go once we're an adult, and
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  Speaker 3: once we're able to you know, format that journey. And
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  Speaker 3: it sounds like and I'm not jumping ahead. I from us,
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  Speaker 3: But it sounds like you've done a really good job
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  Speaker 3: of changing that from the sound of what you wrote in.
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  Speaker 3: So next question, my friend, is what do you do
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  Speaker 3: for work and how much money do you earn?
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  Speaker 4: So at the start of this year, I actually took
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  Speaker 4: quite a big pay cut. It was over twenty thousand.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
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  Speaker 4: I believe I was a disability support worker for five years.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I injured my back when I was twenty one and
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: was on work cover. So I kind of wanted to
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  Speaker 4: get out of that because I just kept it just
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: kept happening, like I just kept reaggravating the injury, and
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  Speaker 4: you had to get out. So at the moment, I'm
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  Speaker 4: working from home within like an NDIS provider, So the
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: National Disability Insurance scheme mainly more on like the invoicing
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: kind of side of the organization, and I'm really enjoying that.
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  Speaker 3: Oh I'm so glad. It sucks that you had to
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  Speaker 3: take a pay cut, but you went twenty thousand dollars
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  Speaker 3: down from what to what? My friend? Yep, we want
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  Speaker 3: the need, No, we want the needy, gritty. This is
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  Speaker 3: she's on the money. We're not a Lucive've here, my friend.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, so last year I think I got up to
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  Speaker 4: about seventy four k. That was part time as well,
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  Speaker 4: but you know, a lot of weekends, a lot of sleepovers,
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: of public holidays, and now I'm on about fifty two.
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  Speaker 3: But that is It's one of those things, right. I
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  Speaker 3: don't think people realize the time and energy and effort
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: and mental load working and disability puts on you. It's
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: such a special job and anyone who works in that,
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  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, you are so special. But it's also like, Okay,
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  Speaker 3: I get that the money would have been really good,
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: but I know that would have been quite taxing as well.
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  Speaker 3: And often it's something that we do need to care
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  Speaker 3: for our mental health personally and our own physical health
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  Speaker 3: and put ourselves first. Because you do all this caring
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  Speaker 3: for all the other people, you need to remember yourself
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  Speaker 3: as well.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it took me about four years to realize that.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad it was only four. That doesn't mean
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  Speaker 3: you can't do that type of work. It's just I
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  Speaker 3: think that a lot of people who work in those
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: areas are so selfless and they are so kind that
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  Speaker 3: it's always about other people and never about them. So
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  Speaker 3: if you work in that industry and you resonate with that,
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  Speaker 3: please care for yourself because you can't pull from an
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  Speaker 3: empty cup. So next question is money dirist, what is
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  Speaker 3: your big money.
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  Speaker 4: Goal goal or goals goal?
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Sorry, what are your big money goals?
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  Speaker 4: I've got too many I have. I placed a lot
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: of emphasis on goals, and I'm for meeting them. I
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  Speaker 4: guess that's how I've got so far to this point.
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  Speaker 4: But at the moment it's mainly just like paying extra
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  Speaker 4: off the mortgage and really building up my investment portfolio.
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  Speaker 4: I do want financial freedom, and I do want the
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  Speaker 4: option to retire early. So mm hmm, that's the big goal.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, the money diarist we spoke to just
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  Speaker 3: before you said that she also wanted to retire earlier.
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  Speaker 3: Money Dirives, could you tell us what that means though?
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  Speaker 3: What does retire early mean to you?
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  Speaker 4: For me, it's just I know a lot of people
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  Speaker 4: talk about like fu money and stuff like that when
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  Speaker 4: it comes to like if you need to leave your
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  Speaker 4: job or just having the freedom to be able to
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: do that. Yeah, So for me, it's like not necessarily
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  Speaker 4: retiring early, but having the option to or even going
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: to part time and doing more travel or more volunteering things.
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  Speaker 3: Like that, and just yeah, so just the freedom. So
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  Speaker 3: it's not necessarily a number for you. It's not all right,
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  Speaker 3: well I want to retire by fifty, it's I want
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: more financial freedom in my life to make the decisions
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: along the journey. Would that be about right?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah? Absolutely.
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  Speaker 3: I love that. I love asking people what that actually means,
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  Speaker 3: because I think that we have in our head that
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: retirements in age, and in our head retirement is like, oh,
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  Speaker 3: it's sixty five, when in reality, retirement's actually a financial situation.
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  Speaker 3: It's a situation in which you can make more flexible decisions.
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  Speaker 3: And for a lot of people, they just assume that
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: means that you don't work at all, whereas some people like, no, no, no,
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  Speaker 3: I just want more flexibility to do the things that
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: I love and the things that I'm passionate about. And
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: I think we really need to reframe what retirement looks
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: like like was too many times we just think it's
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: for people who are a bit older than us, when
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: in reality you can start working towards a level of
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: financial freedom yourself. I don't know, I just think we
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: should reframe that. Next question for you though, is do
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: you currently have any investments? If so, what are they?
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: I do, So, I'd just like to start with SUPER.
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: I do have SUPER, Yeah I should haven't. Luckily, I
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: love that it's going up as well, like the minimum
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: contributions and stuff. So there's about I think that's about
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: forty three thousand at the moment.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Oh and how old were you money, diarist, I'm twenty five.
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  Speaker 3: That is a very good amount of money in superannuation
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: for your age. Why have you got so much in
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: comparison to the average bear.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: I don't know, because I actually haven't started contributing extra yet,
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: just because I was saving for my house. So I
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: kind of put that on the background. I was like, oh,
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: I'll do it after I after that's done kind of thing.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: Doesn't sound like it was on the back burner at all.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: How old were you when you got your first job?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I think it
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: was because I started working early. I mean fourteen and
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: nine months. I was like, yeah, bfc, that's first job.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, those your their days. But when you
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: start working really early, you do start contributing to SUPER
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: if you meet the requirements and the earlier you start contributing,
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: the more time it has to compound. So it kind
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: of makes sense that if you were one of those
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: people that started really early, you would actually be in
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: for a better innings when it comes to SUPER. And
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: obviously this is personal, but my partner Steve, I remember
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: looking at his super and being like, what how did
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: you do this? Like you are so young And it
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: was just because he worked so much from such a
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: young age, and I was like, oh, you really were
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: a hustler from the start. So it's not necessarily about
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: having to make contributions in addition to your SUPER. It's
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: actually sometimes you got the lucky end of the stick
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: and started working early, and you might not have known
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: the prominen so of it then, but you sure do now.
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So I've also got some shares outside of that,
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: so ETFs in an LS, So there's about fourteen thousand,
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: just over fourteen thousand in my accounts at the moment
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: there too. But yeah, like I said before, one of
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: my goals is to really build that up, I mean
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: compound interest. Ye.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I sound like a broken record sometimes, but
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry at all.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Next question money diris do you currently have any debts?
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: So no, I mean, I think it's part of my
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: upbringing and scarcity mindset type. I paid all my UNI upfront.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: I know that you speak a lot about hex debts
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: and good debts versus bad debts, but I guess my
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: values are more aligned to just not having any because
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: I still feel the stress or would feel the stress
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: if I did have a hex. And yeah, so it's
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: pretty much just the house.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: So how much of a mortgage have you got on
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: the house.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: I have a big, big one for my income, so
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: at the moment, I think it's currently three hundred and
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: seventy thousand.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: That's so exciting though, that you've secured a mortgage like
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: that all on your own and you're killing it. The
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: next question though, is what does that mean for your
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: cash flow? So, if you've got a mortgage, how much
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: you're paying each and every single month.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: Yes, so I'm like my menor and payments are pretty
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: much what I was paying in rent. So that's really cool.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: That is very cool.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: Because I guess it just made it worth it for
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: me in the current market, seems like a big risk
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: to buy in at such a high high prices, but yeah,
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: just kind of weight of all the all the extra
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: fees and stuff. So at the moment i'm putting in
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: about it gets like maybe four hundred to fortnight extra.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, epic congratulations. I feel like that is no mean feet,
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: it's a little bit tired.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: I'm my current budget.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Next question, it's not on the list, though, I want
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: to know how much your purchase price was and how
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: much of a deposit you were able to save.
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: Yes, awesome, asking the good questions.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: I'm trying. I'm literally being so prevy. I'm like, I
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: don't mean to overstep the line, but like, if you've
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: got a mortgage, please tell us. I feel like property
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: at the moment is such a hot topic, and there
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: are so many of us that are feeling really disenchanted
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: with the whole journey because property is performing crazily. But
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: I just want to know because it's so achievable if
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: you put your mind to it. And I know that
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: for so many people they'll have their heads in the
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: sand or they'll say, look, it's just never going to
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: happen to me, or it's not going to be possible.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: But you've obviously been through a lot, and we'll get
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: into that later. But how much of a deposit did
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: you say? How did you do it? How did you
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: get into your first place?
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: Yep, so I had a fifty thousand dollars deposit. I
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: paid my extra fees on top of that as well,
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: but I did pay all am I because it was
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: only about ten percent, So I I bought it for.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: A unit in the Peninsula, so yes, I'm from the peninsula, goodbye.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: So it was four hundred and twenty nine thousand. So yeah,
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: I guess my mortgage came in at like about I
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: think it was three eighty two or something when they
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: all settled and everything. I had put in a lot
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: of money previously in a land that I had bought
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: with my partner, so we were like, in a year
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: and a half we'd paid down like eighty thousand, so
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: there was only fifty thousand left on that way. Yeah,
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: so when we sold, we got really lucky because normally
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: land doesn't really go up that much, and it was
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: regional as well. But we're really lucky to sell, and
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: I like, I just got back what I put in,
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: so it wasn't any extra, but.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: We're really it was a bit of a break even.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: So they didn't end up losing anything. That's a nice outcome.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So that's that's pretty much where my deposit came from.
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: So I mean, even if I didn't hadn't have bought
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: the land, I would have.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Been I would have had that in amazing. So yeah,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: very cool. All right, money dirist before I ask too
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: many more pervic questions. The next question is do you
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: currently use shop Back?
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: No? I don't.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: Who is she?
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: Because every podcast I listened to pretty much for the
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: last couple of months, every day I'm like, no, I'm
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: going to do it after work, Like I'll just download
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: it on the computer and I'll use it. But I'm
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: not very much of a spender either're online. I really
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: try to withhold as much as I can with that
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: unless I really need something.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: So I feel like that is a very fine way
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: to live. That's still a good money habit. Speaking of
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: good money habits, what is your best money habit?
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: So I actually have been thinking about this because I've
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: really struggled and I don't know why. It sounds really bad,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: but I was talking to my best friend last night
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: about this and she helped she a lot. So basically,
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: I think my most money have it is setting achievable
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: goals and following through, Like I'm a real stickler for goals,
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: but making sure that they're attainable. Like obviously, if you
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: set something that you just can't follow through on, like,
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: you're going to feel pretty crappy and you're not going
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: to feel accomplished with that. So in saying that, like,
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: it's also that's kind of carried me through in terms
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: of like not getting into debt and things like that
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: as well. So I think it's really important to have
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: those little goals and make them achievable.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: I couldn't agree more. But my next follow up question
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: is how do you personally set attainable goals? Like what
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: does that mean to you? What's that process look like?
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: How do we learn from you?
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: It's probably actually really bad advice personally, because I don't
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: that's all.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: Right, we take all advice in this house.
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: But normally, like if it's to do with money, say,
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: for example, like I got a no Fresco built because
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: that was such a big thing for me, and I
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: had to compromise a lot on stuff where I bought,
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: so I was like, no, I need enough Fresco, So
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: I had Okay, I said, look, this is a goal,
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: I still want to keep adding more to the mortgage.
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: How am I going to make this work? So I
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: looked at my budget and I'm like, okay, well there's
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: not a lot. There's not a lot of wigger room here.
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: But I basically I just broke it down and was like, okay,
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: well what can I afford each week? And how long
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: is this going to take to pay back? Because I
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: did use my savings, but I want to rebuild that
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: because it's really important to me.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I just broke it down and I was like, okay,
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: this is eight months. I'll get it done now and
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: then in eight months i'll have that money back. Or
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: I could have if I didn't have that money in
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: the budget, I would have been like, oh well, I
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: just wait eight months and then I'll get it done.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: I feel like that is actually a process. Though, my
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: friend you're saying, oh, I don't really have one, but
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: then you're like, oh, yes, so I know. I said
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: I don't have one. But I broke it down and
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: then I worked out how many months I had, and
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: I worked backwards like okay, you're a goal setting queens
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: just by default, that's fine, all right? Next question complete
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: pivot what is your worst money habit?
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: So I guess it's like the opposite to my best
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: in a way, Like I am very very harsh on
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: myself if things have to change, and I'm not very
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: lenient when it comes to my goals. So if life
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: circum sets are change, for example, like my income getting smaller,
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: I was just in my head saying, no, nothing's going
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: to be able to give, Like my goals are too strong.
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: I couldn't decide, you know, okay, well, what is actually
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: the thing that's going to have to take precedence here.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: I think that we also don't really talk about that enough.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: Is that being so strong in your financial goals as
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: well can also lead to stress, and it can also
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: feel like a burden as well. So I'm really trying
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: to work on that inner stuff with being okay with
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: where I'm at and not being so harsh and critical
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: of where I want to go.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: I think that that is a really good goal, and
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: it's something that so many of us struggle with. I
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: actually saw something online, so I can't take credit for this,
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: but someone online, and I think it was like one
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: of those text inspirational posts. I think I reposted it,
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: but sometimes these things really resonate with me and I'm like,
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh. But it essentially said, if someone was
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: as critical of me as I am of me, I
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: wouldn't want to spend an hour with that person. But
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: I have to spend twenty four hours a day with myself,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: so I probably should learn to be a little bit
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: less critical. And that's true, like if you were, if
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: you were super critical of me for even an hour,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to have anything to do with you.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Why are we so critical of ourselves? Like we have
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: to live with ourselves, So I think that it's really
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: important to realize that, but then also really work on that,
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: because when you're self critical, it's not impacting anybody else
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: but you. Negatively, it serves absolutely no purpose, absolutely no benefit.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: And being kind to yourself it's exactly the same. It
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: doesn't impact anybody else but you, but in the best
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: of ways, it is so positive and that will then
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: radiate out of you, and I love that, so hopefully
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: that's a nice way to wrap a worst money habit.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Last question before we go to a quick break though
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: money diarist. If we forced you to give your money
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: habits a grade, what would you grade them.
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: I hate to be the stereo ti for a response,
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: but I would probably say an A due to.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: Time that is not stereotypical. I love when people back themselves.
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my takeaway habits have been just off the rails,
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: and especially with the lockdowns, I'm like, I can't do anything,
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: so I'll just order in cooking either.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: That's a fair We're living within our values.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: And also, yeah, just my income, like raising my income
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: as well, I think would really change that as well.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: I agree, but I think you're doing epically as you are.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: So we'll head to quick break and right after that,
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: I want to deep dive more into money stories. All right,
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: we are back and money diarist. I want to know
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: a little bit more about your background and your money
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: story and how you've really been working on that and
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: how that's impacted you as an adult. You've obviously completely
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: changed your personal situation. You've gone from living paycheck to
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: paycheck and having food stamps and you know, growing up
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: in a world where money was really frugal. Does that
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: still impact you day to day and if so, how
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: and how do you overcome that?
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah? So, I mean it was a big factor and
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: why I wanted to buy a house. I mean, it's
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: just that you know you've got a roof over your head.
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: You know you've got that security. I mean, it's one
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: of the biggest needs for a human really, So I've
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: really carried that through. But I feel like it's been
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: in a really positive way as well. And I have
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: my mom to thank for that in the sense of
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: it's driven me and it's it's helped me create my
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: goals and work towards those things because I don't want
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: to have that struggle and I don't want others to
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: have that struggle either. But yeah, it's also cutting slack
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: as well, when you're too driven and you're like, okay,
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: well you can actually take a bit of a break now,
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: like you're okay, you're not compromised or anything.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Do you find that you put a lot of pressure
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: on yourself because you have worked so hard to change it.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: So when you have an inkling of you know, maybe
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: a not so good habit creeping in, you're maybe a
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: little bit extra harsh on yourself. Then everybody else might be.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I think we hear it all the time,
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: like life events happen, and if even just a little
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: thing in someone's life can completely change their situation financially.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, And how's your mum doing now? I want
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: to know how that's going. Like you said that her
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: money story wasn't great. What's she up to?
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: She's still a massive hoarder, like kind of drutings like
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: I don't know if you've been extreme hoarders, but like
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: that's where we're at. But somehow this woman is a
• 24:06
  Speaker 4: legend and she has a really high income at the moment,
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: so she's paying down her mortgage. I'm trying to convince
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: her to get it done before retirement because she's getting
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: to that age. Yes, and she hasn't thought about it
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: because there's everyone, Oh, you know, that's forever away, that's
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: ages away, and then it comes up and it's right there.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: So yeah, she's doing a lot better.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: I'm actually really interested in something you just said. And
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: you said she's actually a hoarder, and that is something
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: that is so common when you have grown up in poverty,
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: because people who don't have the privilege of money don't
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: actually have the privilege of being able to throw things away,
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: and often that then manifests itself. Once you do have
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: a higher income and you do have financial security in
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: having that feeling of wanting to hold on and not
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: wanting to let go of things because maybe one day
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: I need them, or maybe one day someone else will
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: need them, or I'm trying to care for these things,
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: or I've worked so hard for these things. Do you
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: think that creaks into your money story at all? In
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: any which way?
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Of course?
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: How does that manifest for you?
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: I just I am a little bit the opposite. I
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: don't like clutter. I don't like things in the house
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: unless it's super sentimental to me, which a lot of
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: things aren't. I have a little small keepsake things that do.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I just don't like stuff, and it stresses
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: me out more having too much stuff. So I guess
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: that also helps in terms of financial goals because I'm
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: not buying materialistic things all the time and things that
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I don't need. I mean, even my friends, like I've
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: bought a phone three years ago for like two hundred
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: dollars and everyone was like, why do you get a
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: new phone now? Because it doesn't work properly and I
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: dropped it has like it's one of those generic cracked
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: everywhere screens, and like it's fine, it still works, Like
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: I don't need to buy a new one. It's just
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: the same thing. It works fine. Thanks though, So it's yeah,
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: and I'm trying to work around that a bit more
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: like the more comfortable I get financially as well, I
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: think the more I can kind of relax a little
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: bit and I can get things that I want and
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: not have to worry as much. But yeah, i'd say
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: that it definitely had an impact on me in that sense.
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, No, that absolutely makes sense. So when we talk
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: about money stories and how that works, and you know,
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: before you mentioned that you sold some land with I'm
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: assuming an ex partner, how did that happen and how
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: did you protect yourself through that? So obviously you never
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: buy land with someone if you don't think it's going
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: to be lasting, and then it obviously didn't. What was
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: the situation there and how did you deal financially through that?
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I mean it's quite scary. I was with
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: my ex for nearly five years, so we we were
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: together four years when we bought the land. We thought
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: it was long term. Obviously the time, as everyone, I
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: didn't get like any sort of like agreements done up
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: or anything, because we went into the contract fifty to fifty.
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: It's actually quite a compromise when I talk about it,
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: I guess because I had more of a deposit at
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: the time, so he ended up adding extra to the
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: mortgage over the year and a half. So it ended
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: up working out that we were equal, which I wouldn't
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: recommend because it is quite a risk because if the
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: contract says fifty to fifty and something goes bad, you
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: do have the risk of not getting all of your
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: money back, so to speak. But that's what I did,
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: and I mean at the time it worked for me.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: I got lucky with that. It wasn't a huge summer
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: money either, so I guess I kind of weighed up
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: the risk in that sense. So yeah, we ended up
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: signing contracts to build like I did everything, Like we
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: picked out everything, like cupboards, like it was all done, signed, locked.
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: How stressful. Yeah, So this was in October last year,
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: so October twenty twenty, and about two weeks later, it's like,
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: I can't do this. There was this childhood trauma that
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: came up and it just completely like ruined him, like
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: couldn't cope, Like it was really extreme and it was
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: horrible what came up for him, and he just wanted
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: to be back with family. So his family was into
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: state and with all the lockdowns and everything, he hadn't
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: seen them in so long, and his mum got really sick.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: So I think like that all that affected him and
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: it was just like, no, I can't do this, so
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: we've got to get out of it. And I was like, okay,
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: game planning mode, how are we going to get out
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: of this safely? Like are we going to get our
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: money back? Because we paid the deposit for the build
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: and everything like it was super locked in. Oh my gosh.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: So yeah, Luckily it was the right time to sell land,
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: which just went nuts in the area well every area really,
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: So yeah, like I said before, we broke even kind
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: of with all our costs that we put into it
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: split amicably. I was lucky that, Yeah, he didn't. He
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: was super chill about it because he knew, like we
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: had got up to that point, like I was asking,
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: be you sure, are you sure? Like are you ready?
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: Like is this okay? And it was like yep, yep, yep,
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: and then nut. When I saw the land, I was
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: in a rush and I got in organizational mode and
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: I was just like, okay, let's get through this the
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: best we can, yeah, and just sort it out the
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: best way possible. At the time, I actually wish that
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: I had to have engaged with my broker because I
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: didn't think i'd have the borrowing power to buy him.
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: Out right, You just assumed instead of having the conversation.
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: Yep, And I was just like nut, get rid of it, Like,
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: don't want to deal with that kind of thing. It's
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: too stressful at the moment. But in hindsight now I
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: thought it would have been a better idea if I
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: just had have checked out with my broker and been like, look,
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: what's my borrowing capacity. Because I didn't actually know my
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: own what it would be. I just assumed it would
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: just not be enough.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: And do you think that you would have been able
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: to buy amount if you'd had that conversation.
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so underfoughtunately with all the regional and first home
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: owner like grants and everything, I would have come out
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: very very nicely with a brand new house on a
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: big property.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: Oh no, if I had it.
• 30:23
  Speaker 4: But that's the joys of hindsight. I didn't get any
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: grants with the unit that I bought. I wasn't able to,
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: so I think, yeah, it's just kind of having a
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: think about it and just engaging the banks or the
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: broker and just seeing where you're.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: At and just having that conversation. And I know that
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: so many people are like no, like I know it's
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: not possible, but it might be. So have the conversation,
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: and I promise you your broker is going to be
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: able to talk to you about that situation and talk
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: to you about what is possible. I just, oh, I
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: wish you had. But at the same time, I'm a
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: genuine believer that everything works out for the best, and
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: everything works out for a reason, and I am sure
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: that there is a reason that didn't work out, and
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: that you were in your little unit all by yourself
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: for good reason. So you went from being so certain
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: on everything to one day finding out that maybe this
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: wasn't going to work out and he was over and out.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: And it sounds like you guys were really amicable and
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: it wasn't something that you guys could have. You know,
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: it wasn't like he cheated on you and it was
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: all savage. It was a pretty shitty situation. It sounds like,
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: if we're being honest, well, I mean, it's.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: Like I probably forgot to mention like he had been
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: struggling with mental health pretty much the whole time I
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: was with him, So I guess in that sense, like
• 31:42
  Speaker 4: it wasn't a huge shock, right, it was just what happened,
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: I guess, and him leaving because it was always like, no,
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: we'll just we'll work this out together, like yeah, and
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: then it kind of changed.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: And then it just didn't work out. And that's so okay.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: But that is one of the reasons why going into
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: a really big purchase with somebody else, you have really
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: clear exit guidelines. And I'm not saying this because I'm
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: so negative about relationships, but well, what happens if this
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: doesn't work out? Are we're going to keep it, We're
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: going to own it together, or are we going to
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: sell it? Are we going to wait until the market recovers?
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: Like what if the market wasn't doing well when he said, oh,
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: I want out, and you both would have lost a
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: significant amount of money. It could have been a not
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: so good outcome for both of you. Luckily it wasn't,
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: but it could have been quite negative. So I think
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: it's so important that if you're in a relationship, you
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: have these conversations before it happens. Thankfully, it's all sorted
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: out for you money direst and you now our a
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: fancy little homeowner. You've got your unit, you've got your
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: our fresco area. What does And it's probably too early
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: to ask this question, but how are you going to
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: protect yourself in the event that you get into another
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: relationship into the future.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think it's really hard, Like with Australian
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: legislation and stuff, I mean, factor of relationships, you're kind
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: of pretty locked in even if you're not married.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's a bit of.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: A fear, and I have thought about it a lot.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: I mean, I know there's been a lot of mixed
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: sort of opinions that I that I've found with like
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: binding financial agreements and things like that. So I'd still
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: rather put in that money even if it didn't hold
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: up later on, like at least you had something kind
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: of thing for that. And also just being like really
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: aware like when I like, if I do meet someone,
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: kind of think just being aware of like oh, if
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: they're staying or if they're paying for things around the house,
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: like that can all contribute later on and they can
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: have a stake at that.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: I think it's important to have the conversation. And it
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: doesn't mean that there's a right or a wrong way,
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: but I think it's just important to have thought about
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: it because I can completely understand where you're coming from,
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: because that's your mindset, and you're like, you know what,
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: that'll work out. I'll do it this way and that way,
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: and that's so fine. I just think that too many
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: people go into these situations having not had it even
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: cross their mind. So it's nice to know you're like,
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: you know what, I kind of know what this will
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: look like, but I'll work it out when I get there.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: But Money Diarist, I do think that that is all
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: we have time for today. What a special story. Thank
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: you so much for sharing so much about you and
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: your mum and your journey, and oh, I feel like
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: we've learned so much from this and I'm so insanely
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: proud of everything you've achieved.
• 34:24
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: Honestly, without money diarists writing in their stories and sharing
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: them with us, we can't have this podcast. So I'm
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: so so grateful for you. But as I mentioned, that,
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: it is all we have time for today. So just
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge and pay
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Right Islander people's. They're
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: the traditional custodians that the lands, the waterways and the
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing and
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: for caring for the land on which we are able
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: to learn. We pay our respects to elders past and present,
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: And so you I shared on chees. On the money
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: She's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: shouldn't be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: And we promise. Victoria Divine is an authorized representative of
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABM three four one
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: three two four six three two five seven AFSL three
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: three nine one five one.
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: See you next week, guys.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: Bye