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Phone Tap PODCAST: Budget Cuts · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

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  Speaker 1: One eight hundred d uy Away now offering free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
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  Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
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  Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
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  Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call duy Away. And now it's
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  Speaker 1: time for your free money phone tap. And if you've
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  Speaker 1: ever worked in an office before, then you've probably seen
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  Speaker 1: lots of all staff emails about companywide policy changes. We're
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  Speaker 1: going forward. All employees need to abide by these new rules,
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  Speaker 1: and most of the time they're pretty innocuous. Okay, you know,
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  Speaker 1: no big deal, just regular stuff. Yeah, like a bathroom
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  Speaker 1: code change, or yeah, like park on level two instead
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  Speaker 1: of one, Please don't use the dishwasher for the rest
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  Speaker 1: of the week, things like that. Well, today, our own
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  Speaker 1: she's calling a guy to let them know there's gonna
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  Speaker 1: be some policy changes that he needs to abide by.
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  Speaker 1: And all I know is that work will never be
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  Speaker 1: the same after he hears these. You'll find out what
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  Speaker 1: they are in your brand new phone tap right now.
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  Speaker 1: Jeffreys se money phone taps only on Luva ninety two
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  Speaker 1: point five. Your chance to win five hundred bucks. Hello. Hi,
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  Speaker 1: this is Madison from Corporate HR. I'm looking to speak
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  Speaker 1: with Shane. Yeah, this is Shane. Hi, Shane, I just
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  Speaker 1: wanted to follow up on the policy change email we
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  Speaker 1: sent out last week. We didn't get your e signature
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  Speaker 1: on it. Pardon me, Madison, you said, Uh, Hi, yep,
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  Speaker 1: Corporate HR set you an email last week about the
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  Speaker 1: policy change. Okay, I'm gonna just bear with me one moment, Madison,
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  Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, could we just get a verbal consent
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  Speaker 1: over the phone, because you're just the last one that
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  Speaker 1: hasn't responded. Oh, I see, let me you know, with
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  Speaker 1: everything going on right now, let me just fill you in.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, the company, as you may well know, has
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  Speaker 1: to tighten our belts somewhere. Okay, make some budgetary cuts
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  Speaker 1: and don't worry, there's not gonna be any layoffs or furloughs.
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  Speaker 1: You know, we're going to be trying some other things. First,
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  Speaker 1: my apologies, I'm not seeing anything there. Nothing in the
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  Speaker 1: deleted folder. Again, we can just do yeah, I don't
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  Speaker 1: have a ton of time here. We could just do
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  Speaker 1: that verbal consent. We're just asking all the employees to
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  Speaker 1: make some changes in their daily routines. Well, I guess
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  Speaker 1: if I could just be provided with some sort of
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  Speaker 1: summary the content of the email, of course, of course, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: thank you. For example, the amount of printer ink you've
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  Speaker 1: been using in your weekly sales report. It's a little excessive,
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  Speaker 1: the amount of ink. Uh huh, yes, I know. It's
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  Speaker 1: a new idea again, just trying to prevent furloughs. So
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  Speaker 1: I see, I see. Okay, So we don't want you
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  Speaker 1: to print any copies. So is the solution just to
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  Speaker 1: replace it all with email? Now? Is that correct? No,
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  Speaker 1: we're gonna need you to handwrite the sales reports for
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  Speaker 1: all the team members, I'm sorry, handwritten, yes, including bar
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  Speaker 1: graphs another type of sales projections. Far report is fourteen
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  Speaker 1: pages long. You prefer me with HR to actually write
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  Speaker 1: out fourteen pages handwritten. We'll give you extra pens if
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  Speaker 1: that's what you're concerned about. I hate to ask what's next?
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  Speaker 1: But is there anything else you could relate to me
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  Speaker 1: from this email? Yeah? So, how often do you use
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  Speaker 1: the bathroom at the office? Excuse me, I don't really
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  Speaker 1: feel comfortable saying I just need to know the frequency? Again,
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  Speaker 1: no details, no details. Twice maybe twice during my day.
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  Speaker 1: M okay, So just to let you know, that's fine,
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  Speaker 1: but we're no longer providing toilet paper in the bathrooms.
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  Speaker 1: Excusely recommend either bringing your own toilet paper with you
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  Speaker 1: to work, or maybe you could just hold it. I'm
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  Speaker 1: gonna stop you now. You're you're saying that HR is
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  Speaker 1: telling me to hold it. That's the solution. Bring your
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  Speaker 1: own toilet paper or hold it? This is this is
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  Speaker 1: the big budget solution. Well, if you really need to go,
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  Speaker 1: you can always go to the Wendy's down the road
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  Speaker 1: and use their bath. Personally, I would not go to
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  Speaker 1: Wendy's for that. I would not. I'm just here for solutions,
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  Speaker 1: coming up with solutions for this company and for you. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Are you implying that the solution then is to just
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  Speaker 1: be cheap? Wow? That is not a word I could use.
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  Speaker 1: I thought you'd be a lot more sympathetic to the
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  Speaker 1: company owners, to be honest. I mean, they only made
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  Speaker 1: three million this year. Last year they made four million.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yes, I feel very sorry for them for not
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  Speaker 1: making as many millions this year to last year. So
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  Speaker 1: is that a verbal consent that you agree to the
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  Speaker 1: new policy changes? I think that you either have to
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  Speaker 1: resend me this so I can see for myself. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: I can do that. I can do that. But just
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  Speaker 1: before I let you go, I just want to let
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  Speaker 1: you know that tomorrow you will need to bring in
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  Speaker 1: your own chair, my own chair, excuse me from what?
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  Speaker 1: Like just from home to bring a chair to work? Yes,
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  Speaker 1: it was the company saving money by taking employees chairs, Like,
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  Speaker 1: wouldn't my chair bring to value for the company? eBay?
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  Speaker 1: We're selling them all on eBay? Okay, Well, then do
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  Speaker 1: I get to pick whatever chair I want? How about
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  Speaker 1: to bring a lazy boy just like bring it over
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  Speaker 1: there and that I can have a cup holder or something.
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  Speaker 1: If that's what you find portable, then that will work.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know if it'll fit in the elevators. This
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  Speaker 1: is getting ridiculous. Why haven't I heard this from Brian?
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  Speaker 1: Why haven't I heard this from make They haven't talked
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  Speaker 1: to me at all. I mean, they're my immediate supervisors.
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  Speaker 1: Why would I be left out? Yeah? They were like,
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  Speaker 1: why why I'm out of the loop? That is an
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  Speaker 1: excellent question. And Brian and Meg they know all about this. Well,
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  Speaker 1: they didn't tell me. They didn't tell me to bring
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  Speaker 1: my own chair and to just hold it. No, because
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  Speaker 1: what they really wanted to tell you this is a
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  Speaker 1: prank phone call. They set you up. Hold on what
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  Speaker 1: is going on here? Don't be bad. I'm not taking
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  Speaker 1: your chair. This is Brooke for the radio show Brick
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  Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning. We're doing a phone tap
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  Speaker 1: on you that you Oh my god, Meg and Brian
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  Speaker 1: eviled us. They said you were worried about the company
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  Speaker 1: and all the budget cuts that are coming. I was like,
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  Speaker 1: you're measuring ink, but you can't hand drawed graphs all
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  Speaker 1: day and understand. They just wanted to make your day
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  Speaker 1: better and tell you that you're doing awesome at work. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: well that is awesome. I hope I get to keep
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  Speaker 1: my chair. I like my chair. Lookie Jeffrey's free money
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  Speaker 1: phones at weekday mornings at seven, twenty, eight, twenty and
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  Speaker 1: nine twenty. We have five hundred dollars now call one
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  Speaker 1: eight six six, love it ninety two five