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Transcript

Phone Tap: Office Reality Show · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Almost time for your prank phone call. It's Brooke and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning. And today we call a guy
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: with an opportunity he'd be stupid to pass up. Now,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: even though he already works at a job, and he
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: personally wouldn't make any more money from agreeing to do this,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: he could get semi-famous.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Hey, now we're talking.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: As long as he agrees to be humiliated on a
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: reality TV show where we put cameras inside his cubicle.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: How could he pass this up?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I don't get it.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: In your phone tap right now.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Hello? Hey, is this Mike? Yeah, this is he. Who's this? Oh, great.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I'm over in corporate HR. My name is Sandy Cheeks.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: How are you today? Oh, I'm doing well. Great. What
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: can I do for you? Well, I don't know if
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: you saw the email, but it's company mandate that we
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: do a satisfaction survey amongst all our employees. And guess
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: whose time it is. Oh, if you haven't guessed, it's yours. Yeah,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: that's you, Mike. I didn't know this was a thing,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: but OK. Well, it's not going to take a lot
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: of your time. It should go pretty quick if you
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: don't ask a lot of dumb questions. Oh, OK. I've
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: been dealing with those all day. Working in HR, you know.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, so how satisfied would you be if the company
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: made so much more money by leveraging our employees' image
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: and likeness for profit? What? I'm saying the company is
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: in talks right now, serious ones, about transforming our workplace
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: into a live reality TV show. What are you talking about?
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Have you seen The Office?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Except it's our office. Isn't that great? I'm not really
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: okay with that.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be on TV.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Let's go to the next question. Hypothetically speaking on the show,
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: would you rather share a cubicle with your boss or
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: vote her off? I don't think there's a good answer there.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: You sound so serious. It's just a hypothetical. Okay, fine.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I guess I'd vote her off.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, villain has been cast. Wow. Yeah, look, you're putting
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: me in a weird position here. You said these were hypotheticals.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they are.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: They are. And you know what? I've got another one
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: for you. How about this? If one person from your
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: work group had to disappear, who would you nominate? All right.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: This is getting weird. I didn't mean like true crime disappear.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I just meant like off the show. God. Remember, you're
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: the villain. So maybe you plant drugs in someone's desk
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: or in their car. We just need the ratings to
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: pop season one.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Is this real?
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: You know what? You're doing worse than I thought you would.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: And if this show is greenlit, that's not going to
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: be a very good look for you. I'm not even
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: talking about that. I'm just talking about getting back to
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: my work here. This is not a scheduled call. Speaking
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: of work, I'm going to let you in on a
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: little inside scoop. I shouldn't be saying this. Don't say
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: it then. Don't tease me. Of course I will. On
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: the show, you'll have your normal work and you'll have
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: your side costume gig.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about?
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: And right now, according to your managers, you're trending towards
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: parking lot goose.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: What?
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: Did you not hear me? Parking lot goose.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I heard.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I don't understand this at all. Well, of course you don't, silly.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Silly goose, get it? You're going to have to patrol
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: the parking lot and be prepared to scare off trespassers
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: by honking loudly. This show's going to be a hit.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: I really don't think it is. Well, you think a
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: lot differently than our CEO, John. Do you know him?
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I know of him, but I've never met him.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: He's requested a scene with the office villain slash goose.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: That's you. Oh, my God. Yes. Where he fights you
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: for your desk. So my question is, will you defend
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: it physically? Not reminding you before you answer. This could
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: make the shareholders gobs of money. No, I'm not going
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: to get into a physical altercation over my desk. OK,
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: that's not going to happen. Don't you have big muscles
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: that you could defend the desk with? Nobody's taking my desk. Ooh,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: spoken like a true goose. Defending his territory while honking
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: out his aggression. No, I'm not doing that. Oh, it's
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: coming in hot now. Okay, so hypothetically, if a radio
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: show pranked you during your work day, would you laugh
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: or go full goose on us? What are you talking about? Yes,
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: still bringing it. I'm talking about your coworker, Maddie. She
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: listens to this show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: my gosh. She's the one that told us to mess
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: with you.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: This is actually Brooke from the radio show Brooke and
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh, man. Maddie, I'm fighting for
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: her death. Oh, you're going to go full goose on her.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: You almost said it. I heard it.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go alpha on Brooke and Jeffrey.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Don't say that too loud. Jeffrey would like that. Brooke
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.