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Transcript

Note 27: You Don’t Need Permission — Just a Little Boldness · Notes to Her

• 0:17
  Yaya: Hey, girl. Hey. Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk. I'm Yaya, your confidence and mindset coach who's here to help you stop waiting, stop shrinking, and step into the version of you who moves with intention, not hesitation. Now before we jump into today's note, make sure that you're subscribed so that you don't miss a single pep talk.
• 0:35
  And if there's a woman in your life who keeps pushing this off and saying, I'll do it later, send this episode her way. Trust me, she needs this one. You ever notice how you wait for the perfect moment to do something? The perfect plan, the perfect sign, the perfect confidence? But the moment that you're waiting for does not exist.
• 1:06
  Oldness doesn't come when you feel ready. It comes the second you decide, I don't wanna keep living like this. And I promise you, half the anxiety that you feel, half the overthinking, half the hesitation, it's not because you're incapable, it's because you're waiting for permission that you don't actually need. So today, we are done with that. Now there's three main reasons why women hesitate to be bulls.
• 1:30
  The first one being you are taught to be agreeable, not assertive. Society raised you to fit in, not stand out, to wait your turn, be polite, don't rock the boat, be nice, don't be too loud, don't take up too much room. But shrinking yourself doesn't make you kind, it makes you invisible. Or two, you've been dismissed before. Someone made you feel foolish for being excited.
• 1:55
  Someone called you dramatic. Someone minimized your voice. So now boldness feels like a risk. And the third reason, you're afraid of outgrowing people. Sometimes you're not scared of the dream, you're scared of what the dream will separate you from.
• 2:10
  Now listen, fear is normal, but it cannot be the reason that you don't become who you're meant to be. So let me tell you about my client, Renee. She's 37, brilliant, creative, strategic, the woman that everybody goes to for ideas. But here's the problem. She only shared those ideas in private, whispered on one on ones, typed in drafts she never sinned, practiced in her car, but stayed silent in the room.
• 2:36
  Not because she didn't have anything to say, but because she was afraid to take up the space that she had already earned. Then one day, she watched her junior colleague confidently pitch her exact idea and a meaning, the same idea that Renee had talked herself out of and the room loves it. Renee smiled politely but inside she felt that slap of regret. The sinking familiar thought that should have been me. Why do I keep silencing myself?
• 3:02
  That night, I remember she messaged me and said, I'm tired watching other people live boldly while I rehearse my life in my head. After we worked together, it was a wrap. She spoke first in meetings, she stopped editing herself mid sentence, She pitched a project she had been sitting on for an entire year. And for the first time, she told me, I finally feel like the main character in my life. That's what a little bonus does, and that's what I love to see my clients embody that energy.
• 3:33
  It doesn't change who you are, but it just reveals who you have been this whole time. Now here's how you can take on that energy of boldness. The first thing you wanna do is act before your doubt catches up. Your brain needs five seconds to talk you out of greatness, so beat it to the punch. Step two, practice those micro boldness moments daily.
• 3:53
  You don't need a big leap, you need a bold inch. So boldness looks like posting the video, sending the pitch, asking the question, taking the meaning, applying for the position, saying no, saying yes, telling the truth. Confidence is built from tiny acts of courage, repeat it. Step three is to expect fear but move anyway. Boldness is not the absence of fear.
• 4:19
  Boldness is the decision to walk with fear and not wait for it to disappear. Your nervous system will resist. Your inner mean girl will yell. Your mind will give you 18 reasons to stop. Do it anyway.
• 4:33
  And step four, borrow your future self's identity. The bold version of you, she exists in your mind. She knows what she wants. She speaks clearly. She follows through.
• 4:45
  She stands tall. So ask yourself, what would she do right now? Then do that, even if your voice shakes. That's how you truly become her. Now I say this to you with all love but true.
• 5:00
  You don't need another sign. You don't need someone's approval. You don't need to feel fully ready. You don't need permission. You just need the courage to take the next bold step.
• 5:12
  Because here's the real gag, every woman that you admire, the ones who look fearless, the ones who glow, the ones who walk in confidence, they're not fearless. They're not always sure, and they're not always ready. They're just bold, and you can be that too. So here's my reminder for you today. Oldness isn't a personality trait.
• 5:32
  It's a strategy, a choice, a muscle. And if you want help building that kind of boldness that changes your life from the inside out, join Tiffany and me for our seven day show up and shine challenge taking place January twelve through eighteen. Every day, you'll get confidence and style lessons designed to help you stop shrinking, show up visibly, speak louder, choose yourself boldly, walk into rooms with presence, and actually feel like that girl. The link to sign up will be in the show notes. And if you love this episode, make sure you follow us on notestoher.daily on Instagram and threads, and leave a rating because it truly helps more women find these pep talks.
• 6:14
  So I'll see you in the next note.