Latest / Motherhood Uncut / I'm a maternal mental health specialist. If you have postpartum anxiety, watch this.

Transcript

I'm a maternal mental health specialist. If you have postpartum anxiety, watch this. · Motherhood Uncut

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What if everything you've been told about postpartum anxiety that is caused by hormones, that you need years of therapy, that medication is the only answer?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: What if all of that is only part of this story?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Kate Kripke, and I've been specializing in maternal mental health for over 20 years.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I've had the total privilege of supporting over 6,000 women experiencing postpartum anxiety, and I've seen patterns that most providers miss.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: In the next 11 minutes, I'm gonna tell you what I wish every single new mother knew about postpartum anxiety, what it really is, why it persists, and what actually resolves it.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're struggling right now, stay with me.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: This could change everything.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You are probably exhausted from fighting your own mind.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: All those racing thoughts, the constant worry, the catastrophic what ifs that won't stop.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: You've tried what you were told to try.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're in therapy right now.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: It probably helps you feel heard, but the anxiety still comes back.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're taking medication.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: It took the edge off, but you still don't feel like yourself.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe there are side effects that you don't want to live with.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you are white knuckling through every day, pretending that you're fine on the outside while falling apart on the inside.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you keep hearing things like, this is normal, it will pass, just be patient.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: But it's been months, maybe over a year, and you're not sure that you can keep going like this.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: You love your baby desperately, which makes this even more painful, right?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because you wanted to enjoy these early months and instead you are drowning and you're starting to believe that maybe this is just who you are now, or maybe this is just motherhood and the cost?
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're losing time, you're never gonna get back.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're missing moments you can't recreate, and you're suffering in a way that doesn't have to continue.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna walk you through what postpartum anxiety actually is, why standard treatments often fall short, and the simple truth that changes everything.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: First, postpartum anxiety is not what you think it is.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Most people think that postpartum anxiety is a mental health disorder that's caused by hormonal challenges and sleep deprivation.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: That's partially true, but it's not the root cause.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Postpartum anxiety is your nervous system responding to a perceived threat.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that threat isn't your baby, and it's not lack of sleep or hormones.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: The threat is emotional discomfort and uncertainty and unpredictability that your nervous system was never taught to tolerate.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what no one tells you postpartum anxiety isn't a disorder, it's actually a protection response.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do when it believes that you are unsafe.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have worked with hundreds of women who have the same story.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: They say I had postpartum anxiety with my first baby, and everyone said it was hormones and sleep.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Then I had it again with my second baby, even though my hormones were fine when they were tested, and my baby slept better.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So why is that?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, because hormones and sleep weren't the root cause.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Their nervous system still hadn't learned how to feel safe inside emotional discomfort.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: Think of postporinive anxiety like a smoke detector going off.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Most treatments focus on the alarm.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Medication mutes it, therapy helps you cope with the noise, but no one is asking what triggered the alarm in the first place.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system is detecting smoke.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's the emotional discomfort and all the uncertainty.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And until you teach it that the smoke isn't actually fire, the alarm is going to keep going off.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, when did the anxiety start?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Was it after a specific event?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or was it when motherhood started making you feel all these emotions that you couldn't control?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: Most women realize that the anxiety wasn't triggered by the lack of sleep.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: It was triggered by the loss of control and the constant emotional uncertainty that motherhood brings.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding this changes what you need to do to actually heal.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not what most doctors are telling you.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Next, let's talk about why standard treatments fall short.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Therapy helps you understand your anxiety, and medication reduces the intensity, but both can be helpful tools.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Neither teaches your nervous system to feel safe inside that emotional discomfort, which is the actual root cause.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's why so many women feel better temporarily, but their anxiety returns.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're managing the symptoms without addressing the underlying nervous system response.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: You do not need more coping strategies.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: You need your nervous system to learn something it was never taught, that emotional discomfort can be safe.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you how many women have come to me after years of therapy and medication saying things like, I understand my anxiety, I know where it comes from, I have all the tools, but I still feel anxious every day.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're incredibly self-aware women.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: But awareness alone doesn't retrain the nervous system.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Their body still believes that discomfort equals danger.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So think of it like being afraid of dogs.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: You can understand rationally that most dogs are safe.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: You can talk about your fear in therapy for years.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can take medication to reduce your panic response.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: But until you have safe, repeated exposure to actual dogs and your nervous system learns, hey, I'm safe around dogs.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: The fear persists.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Plusprined anxiety is the same.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system needs direct experience of safety inside the discomfort, not just intellectual understanding.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why traditional approaches, they kind of plateau.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Therapy gives you insight, but not nervous system retraining.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And medication manages symptoms, but not the root cause.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Coping strategies help you survive anxiety, but they don't resolve it.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So what actually creates lasting change?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, teaching your nervous system through repeated experience that emotional discomfort is safe, learning to feel uncomfortable emotions without your body going into threat mode and practicing regulation in real time, not just talking about it.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Once you understand this, the practice that actually works becomes so obvious and it's simpler than you think.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pause for a second here.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: If this is making sense to you and you want more content like this, practical science-backed tools for postpartum and ongoing anxiety in motherhood, go ahead and subscribe to this channel.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: I share what actually works, not just what sounds good.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here's the simple truth that changes everything.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Postpartum anxiety resolves when your nervous system learns through direct, repeated experience that you can feel emotional discomfort and still be safe.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And today you're gonna start teaching it exactly that.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: This works because you're addressing the actual mechanism of anxiety, a nervous system that treats emotional discomfort as a threat.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And every time you intentionally feel discomfort and prove to your body that you're safe, you're gonna weaken the anxiety response.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Do this consistently and your nervous system rewires.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: The anxiety doesn't just decrease, it actually resolves.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Think of your nervous system like a student who's been taught that two plus two equals five.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you can't just tell them that they're wrong.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: They have to practice the right answer over and over until their brain rewires that new pattern.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system has learned that discomfort equals danger.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to teach it that discomfort can equal safety.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's the core postpartum anxiety practice.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Do this once a day, every day for 21 days.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the first step.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to choose a moment of emotional discomfort and start small here.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's worry about your baby or guilt about a decision, frustration with your body, sadness about losing the old life that you had, maybe fear about the future.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead and set a timer for 90 seconds.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, instead of avoiding or fixing or distracting, I actually want you to feel it intentionally.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Close your eyes.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Notice where it lives in your body, maybe your chest or your throat, your belly or your shoulders, and then name the sensation.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I feel tightness in my chest.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I feel heat in my face.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let it be there.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Don't try to change it or make it go away.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: It is super important that you do this with immense compassion for yourself, because here's the deal it makes sense that you feel this way.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: If somewhere inside you believe that uncertainty and unpredictability and discomfort means that there's something wrong or something bad will happen, of course your nervous system reacts with feelings like anxiety.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And if you also believe that you shouldn't feel this way, well, now you get stuck, right?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is no version of motherhood without uncertainty, unpredictability, and discomfort.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It just comes with a territory for every single mom.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So be kind to yourself.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, while feeling the uncomfortable feelings, I want you to repeat this truth.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Literally say it out loud.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: This is uncomfortable.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still safe.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: My baby is safe.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: The feeling is temporary.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can handle this.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Breathe slowly and normally and wait for the timer.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't rush it, don't analyze it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just be with a discomfort, as hard as it may seem.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when the timer goes off, notice you're okay.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: The feeling did not destroy you.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: You survived 90 seconds of discomfort.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is learning discomfort does not have to equal danger.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Here's why this works.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: According to neuroscientist Dr.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Jill Bolte Taylor, emotions move through the body in about 90 seconds unless you feed them with thoughts.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: When you practice feeling the emotion without adding all that catastrophic thinking, your nervous system experiences the full cycle.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Emotion rises, it peaks, and then it passes.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you stayed with it the whole time.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is exposure therapy for your nervous system.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: When you practice this, here's what you can expect.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Days one through seven, you can sit with discomfort longer without spiraling.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Days eight through 14, your recovery time gets faster.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Days 15 through 21, your baseline anxiety starts to decrease, and you're gonna notice hours, even days where you weren't anxious at all.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then after 21 days, your nervous system has been retrained.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Emotional discomfort no longer automatically triggers threat responses.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want an advanced practice, after that first week, and once you're comfortable with about 90 seconds, extend it.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Two minutes, then three minutes.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, you're gonna move through an entire day feeling normal motherhood emotions without anxiety taking over because your nervous system knows that they're safe.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's something really critical.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: This only works if you do it consistently.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Missing days will slow your progress.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system needs repetitive practices to rewire.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So continue it, practice it.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is the most important 90 seconds of your day.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, one final thought.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: After 20 years of doing this work, here is what I know for certain.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Postpartum anxiety doesn't have to last long at all.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: It lasts as long as your nervous system needs to learn that emotional discomfort is safe.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you can teach it that starting today.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: You are not broken.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: You are not weak.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system just needs new information.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And now you know how to give it.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you're ready to resolve your postpartum anxiety and not just manage it, go ahead and subscribe to this channel for more nervous system retraining tools for postpartum and ongoing anxiety and motherhood.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you want personalized support through this process, I offer free assessment calls where we can look at what your specific nervous system needs.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: The link is in the description.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do this alone and you do not have to suffer any longer.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.