Latest / Life Rescue with Lisa Dwoskin / Why We All Need a Coach: Consistency, Discipline & Becoming Your Best Self. Life Rescue With Sly
Transcript
- Lisa Dwoskin: Hello and welcome back to Life Rescue TV with Lisa. I have a beautiful guest. And before I introduce him, I just want to remind you call me at 754 222 4413. Tell me your story. Ask me a question. Share something about your life with me. Be my next guest on my next podcast. I really want to hear back from you. And when we're done with this podcast, Please like, share, and comment and ask any question to my guest or myself. Thank you all so much for joining. I want everyone to bring their arms up in the air, including you. Breathe beautiful positive energy. Exhale out any negative energy. And here we go. So my guest right here with this gorgeous red shirt on. Is a very long time good friend of mine, but more importantly, he is my personal trainer. And I'm a fabulous trainer, right, Sly? Very well known in South Florida. So I was very picky who I chose to train myself. This man whipped my ass in shape like 15 years ago and I kept it, but he really killed me. We're gonna talk about that in a minute. But I want to introduce him. He's a great trainer here in South Florida. And Sly, I call you Sl like well, I know you call yourself Sly, but Rocky. Rocky. Like Sylvester Stallone, right? So thank you. I go by Sly. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. Yes, I'm excited to talk to you all about fitness, health, positive mindset. Adults versus kids, the difference between their mindset. So much to talk about. But let's start with our first day meeting. What did I make you drink? first day meeting. I don't know where it was, but I can remember that green tea. Yeah, it was like a green smoothie juice kind of He looked at me like, Are you out of your mind? I said, just try it. But it was good, right? It was good. It was real good. That was like that was like what fifteen, twenty years ago? Yeah, I think about fifteen. Yeah. Gosh. Long time ago. Yes. So anyway, let's talk about you training me. You used to kick my ass. Remember, I was dying. It's just you just wasn't work wasn't used to the workout that I do. But you were all you were already in shape, always looked good, always kept yourself going, but I just bought something a little different to the table. I like to shake I like to shake things up a little bit and you hung in there. But when we went outs when we went outside to those hills, that's that's when you passed up. Yeah. And what about on the beach when you used to make me lunch with the weights on the beach back and forth. But I'll tell you my booty had never been best shape as when I was training with you because you're like the booty master. Don't you see like a bunch of strippers and all the hot chicks and stuff to that used to be one of my names, the butt master because I would with a lot of women I would focus on the buttops to get them where they want to be. So just a a part of training, that's all. That's the way I look at it. But that's what women are Also guys, so that's what I focus on for a while. Yeah, but you know what I loved most about you is you really okay, before I tell you that, what I want everyone to hear, this is so important. Everyone needs a coach in life or a therapist or a life coach or a personal trainer, even though I'm a personal trainer and I train many clients, I needed you, like you said. I wasn't pushing myself enough. So you pushed me really hard. But I I want to just share with everyone and you can elaborate. Not only were you such a great trainer and why we mesh so well, because you were so positive. You were always positive no matter what. I would complain to you about all the men I was dating after my divorce, and you'd listen to every story, but you'd always be so positive. How do you keep that positive mindset? I think that's what all trainers over time learn to do. I try and connect with you on a personal level and then use that to my advantage to push you even farther. So it it's again, it takes time. It takes time getting to know a person as well as trying to get to know their body, because I'm still trying to do a job, but I'm also trying to get in your head as well. Right. And doing the job, getting in your head at the same time, if I can do both. And mesh them together, workouts perfect every time. But it's not it's not easy. No. Don't you think the mind controls the body, right? Or does the body control? The mind does control the body. The mind controls the body. Again, I can remember a lot of times I push you and I say, okay, five more. And then I don't count the way everybody else counts. Cause I'll say one, one, two, two, three, three, four, four. And you'll look at me a little crazy, like, wait a minute, why are you not counting one, two, three, four? No, I don't count that way. So get in the head, I really get your attention, and then everything else starts to flow. But it takes time. It takes time. It does. Now, what about the people that are super negative and you push them, but they don't allow you to push. How do you break that barrier to get them to become more positive? That's a tough one, right? Though, yes, that is a tough one. And I've ran across a couple of clients like that. It's just finding that one niche. Finding that one niche, and I just keep sewing there. Whenever they start to break down, I don't want to do a s a specific exercise or drill, I go back to that one niche. Like, you know, that's why I deal with when I was the butt master for one. I have women that I hey you wanna get this, you wanna get that. It's time to get yourself back in shape. You're not only doing this for yourself, but you're doing this for your family and your kids. And I just tell you wanna go and run with your kids, put your hand right there. You feel that? That's a heartbeat. Let's keep it be. I'm just here to help it be a little faster. I like that. Now did you ever watch, I'm sure you did, the biggest loser with Jillian Michaels and the other We talked about that before. Yeah, I think so. Were you ever like mean? Because you were never mean to me, but you would push me. I mean, I would want to like you sometimes. But were you ever having to be mean to some clients? whenever I focus on being mean, that's when I bring the punching bags. Because I I I will let them get it out. I'll bring the gloves and let you hit as much as you want. But again, it depends on the person. And as a trainer, you have to find out what can I say or do to really get your attention. Once I figure that out, everything the world is my orcher. I can do whatever I want want or need to do in order to get you where you need to be. So to me it all works out. Yeah. Now you've been training about as long as me, like over thirty years, right? Yeah, I've been I I've been training sh I've been training all my life. Yeah, me too. So what I've come across, well, I'm sure you have too, that's what I want to ask you. In my career of thirty plus years training clients, not one person does not have issues and challenges. We're all human, we all have trials, tribulations, up and down, all around. But it's really made me stronger as a person. And although I've helped all these people through the years, in turn, they've helped me to become stronger and more positive and I've learned and grown from each client. Do you feel that way? I feel exactly the same way. From training kids to tr to doing rehab with clients. You're having to sit and talk. And the more you sit and talk and and and get to know that person, it's just everything opens up from there. And A lot of times as far as training, you're having to get on their level, but you're also having to raise them up and bring them to your level as far as training, as far as running, as far as walking, as far as again, rehab. Yeah. Now with you, I don't know how personal you want to get on here. It's totally up to you. I'm good. Okay, I've known you forever. Maybe it has been twenty years, and I remember compla Complaining about a few things, and then you opened up to me about your life when you were sleeping in your car and providing for your children. And that's when I really earned a lot of respect for you. That no matter what you have been through in your life, which has been a lot, and we'll touch on different things, you never gave up, you never fell down. I'm sure you've gone through ups and downs, maybe. I don't think I don't know if you've ever been depressed or I mean we've all been sad. No, I think Yeah, but I mean I'm saying where you've got knocked down and couldn't get back up because you've been through a lot, but you keep driving and striving and moving forward. Not only did you motivate yourself, but to motivate other people. So how have you done that? And share a little of your story so people understand it. But the thing is is As far as training, you're not only a trainer, you're a therapist. Because you you're gonna have conversation after conversation, and this client versus that client versus this client, it's gonna be a different obstacle that you have to overcome on a weekly, daily basis. I don't have time to bring my problems to the table, but every once in a while I'll come across a client that's I'm having a bad day, I'm having a bad this. Like, look, dude. I still sleep in my car. I'm coming to your mansion and you having a bad day. And that's an eye-opener. That's that's a time when I open up just a little to give a little so I can get more. So yes, I gave him a little of what my life looks and feels like: me sleeping in my car, going to the gym, washing up, getting ready to come and train you, and you living in this grand masterpiece, but you're complaining. So no. complain, excuse my French complaining is like asshole. Everybody got one. Ain't got time for it. Let's keep it moving. No, I love that. And where does that come from in your life? You're a parent, a grandparent, like what God, what? I think I think my determination pretty much comes from my mom. Because my mother, as growing up, she went through, she got hurt on her job and she had about 16, 17, I could be wrong on that one, back surgeries. I do know she she was cut from the top of her neck straight down to a tailbone. And I can remember a lot of times I used to change her bandage. And I would look over and I would see her crying. And and and that just made me feel some type of way. So then I started playing sports, got into football, and I would get hurt a lot. But I would always remember how she was when I and she would never cry. But I would see that tear. I said, no, I don't have time to cry. This is no pain. I would I could never go through the pain that she's gone through. So therefore, wipe it off and I keep pushing myself forward. Now it's not easy on a daily, weekly basis. It's not easy at all. And and when I'm working with clients, I have to put that to the side. You know, as you said, I I always smile. I don't have time to frown up. Now everyone has their minute, their moment, their hour. I don't believe in having a day. It's twenty-four hours on a day. I can't be sad for a whole day. I take my time out. I'm sad for a minute or two. Okay, move that out the way. It's time to keep moving. And that's how I've learned to cope with a lot of things. But when I'm dealing with clients, I'm able to open up every once in a while, give them a little feedback of what I'm going through or what I went through to help push the workout along. Yeah, I love what you just said because I'm all about None of us are perfect. None of us are happy 247. I don't know if you remember, but people would tell me all the time, what's wrong with you, Lisa? You're always happy. That's not normal. You're not real. That's fake. And I'm like, no. That's not fake. It's not I've seen you have your moments. You know, I've known you for a long time. I've seen you had your moments. And I've even had to tell you, no, you need to move on. It's time to move on. Brush off, move on, let's go work out. And you would text me, thank you, that helped me so much. And we keep it moving. But sometimes it takes a trainer, a therapist, or a friend to tell a person, hey, no, it's time to move on. Because us as humans, we will sit in our pity and time will pass and pass and pass. And that's time you can't get it out. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And you're right. I would have my moment moments. I would and I always say go through the darkness to get towards the light. Cause if you always push away the darkness and pretend like everything's great, you can never really feel it and work through it and then let it go. But I also know what you're saying. It's so true. I don't have in my day more than four hours tops is my limit to dwell To be negative, I always turn it around with something positive. I'm happy on a daily basis. I tell people, dance in the dark. Dance your way to the light. Yeah. Don't just go dance your way through it because you're not gonna be in it for long. Yeah. And that light, that light is the spotlight. So dance your way to it. Because when you see that light, that means somebody can see you. Yeah, so so true. I love that. That's beautiful. Okay, I'm gonna press stop and go lock up my dog. Hold on. We're gonna Okay, so enough talking about you and I and our training and all our crazy conversations, ups and downs all around. So let's talk a little bit about you working with kids and once you explain about what you're doing, then I wanna compare adults and kids with the fitness and health. department. So what are you doing with kids? Okay, I'll start off by I always have this this thing that I give to my son. Like I've been Julian, I've been telling him when you meet people, you need to have a meet and greet. So I'll go through my little meet and greet and then I'll go to the kids. My name is Sylvester Yelder. I was born and raised in Alabama. I went to school in Virginia. I went to Liberty University. I was at Liberty for three years and then I went overseas to Norway. I was in Norway for six years, then I went to Germany for a year. After that, I moved out to California, started personal training. I was out there for three years, moved from California, now I'm here in Miami, which I've been here now twenty-five plus years. wow. I didn't know. That's my that's a little presentation that I give to Julian because I want him to learn how to talk, especially in front of a camera. And I I don't want him to talk in every three words is I don't so I I I kind of make him send me little videos during the week just to talk, just to talk and see how things are going. But yes, I'm a personal trainer here in Miami. I also work with kids, also a dog walker, also do a little security. So I do a little bit of everything. But that's what I've been doing all my life. Even growing up, even growing up. High school, I was working at what Church is chicken. Then I I went to this place, CB Fleet, PM. I worked at so many different places. But the one that I've fallen in love with is working with the dolphin kids. The Miami Dolphin kids, it is amazing. And besides personal training, that is my passion. Because I love working with kids. They are a lot less stubborn than adults. And and it only takes a little push and they will follow any command. It's just again getting on their level. The same as adults, but the adults are a little more stubborn because most adults are stuck in their ways. But it's easier to get on the kids level. Just name one of one or two of the little crazy songs that are going on right now. Yeah. And you have their attention. But I've been working with the dolphins now for Six years. I didn't know that long. So you do it once a week, so walk us through the It depends on my they work with me with my schedule because I I'm I'm real busy. they they do a lot of camps during the week. when school is out they do a lot of camps. So if I don't have a busy week training, I can go do a whole week with them as far as working at one of the high schools with the kids. But for a while I was up in Stewart to where I had my own home base, to where all of those kids came to my spot. we had a park there, and the flag football games would start eight o'clock in the morning on Sunday and end about four PM. And this is every Sunday during the football season. Now that I'm back here, I don't have that campaign more because that's a long drive. So now I go back to the stadium. And at the stadium we do the same thing. And any of the visitors that walk in, especially like the last game I was at, was the Chiefs. I hack all the clo the people that are coming through because I always say Dolphins are gonna win. But I I talk with them and I I talk with their kids and I take them through some of the events that we do too. And it's really nice. And it's really nice. So tell me, okay, eight to four. I wanna hear. The whole age? No, eight to four on the Sunday with the kids. Walk me through what you do that day. Okay, eight to four. Eight to four? Well eight to four in Stewart is because they it's teams. They have flag football teams. And you have you have from your the little league team, five, six, seven, eight, nine, which will start early, to once we get to three, four o'clock, the big kids thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. And these are co-ed teams, girls and boys, they play together. I love that. Once we get to the elite teams, some elite teams have girls only, some have boys only. But for the most part, it's all co-ed. And they start playing at eight. I have the referees there. I have three fields. So that's two, four, that's six teams start out at eight o'clock. They play for they play for about 45 minutes, they're done. The next six teams come, they play. They're done. The next six, I go by and I patrol and make sure everything is going good. I make sure no parents have a problem. I make sure no kid is out of line. Any parent or kid is out of line, I make them do push-ups. No matter what age they are. No matter what age they are. I love that. No. Nope. What about besides the playing, which that's great? Is there any one like not one-on-one, but the team with you? Talking about mindset or positive, you know, either young age. A lot of times when they're in their groups before they're playing, before they start playing, I will go over to each team and speak with them specifically. Like a lot of kids I've really gotten close to. So I'll make sure I'll say something to that one particular particular kid. But for the most part, I'll go over and I'll talk with the coach. I'll talk with the group. I'll tell them what's going on. Or the good, the bad, or something's wrong with the feel. I'll let them know. Make sure your flags are good. How's everyone feeling today? Let's get up, let's do a stretch. Let me see how everybody's feeling. I try and get a feel of each and each and every individual group just to see how they're doing. But then I go around, I'll I'll just speak with the parents. But my main thing is I'm there for the kids. And I'll tell the I'll tell the parents in a heartbeat, I'm here for the kids. If I feel you're getting out of line, I will ask you to leave because parents, I don't need you here. I want my kids here. No, and are there some parents that just like that's that's why I had it over? Yes, that's why I had to start letting parents know. I will kick you out. I love that. And one day one parent tested it. wow, tell me what one parent tested. actually this was a coach. And I guess a girlfriend. And they're and their kid was on the field playing. The coach had a kid on the team, the girlfriend had a kid on the team. Now I don't know what happened beforehand, but they bought it to the field. and I I got two two teams, two games going on, and they're getting ready to go on this field, and she is loud. She was loud. Those two feels stopped playing to watch them. God. How too. That's when I that's when I knew it wasn't good. And she was going at it and he was barking back. The refs was looking. And all the kids are there and they have no respect for the kids. You know? Once I got everything else back to going, I say, never again. You're out of here. You're right. Well good. And you know, with that in mind, I just have to change the subject for one second of side note. Today's generation of kids, these parents are screwing up the kids more than society, more than technology, because parents are giving their kids this right here. Okay, let's eat dinner while I'm on the phone the whole time. Yes. And let's go to McDonald's drive-thru because I don't have time to cook you dinner because I got my own problems. And it's the parents that really are screwing up the kids today. Don't you think it's so sad. The parents are a reflection of the kids, one hundred percent. But I can say up where I was, I stopped all that drama and the parents were good, the kids were good. The parents respect me, the kids respecting me. Even when I deal with my grandkids now. Now, I'm not the best reader when it comes to reading a book. So you know what I do? Now, I can sit and read a book. I don't think I can't read it, but I I I can sit and read a book. But what I do is I tell the kids, I I sit them down and I'll say it's story time. That means I have to make it up off my head, off the bat. So I'll get up and I'll start talking, but I like to illustrate as I talk with the moves. That gets their attention so much more. Now, once I do that for about a week or so, then I'll kind of simmer it down and start grabbing a book to read. But even when I'm reading a book, I like to put a little movement in because that gets the kids' attention a lot more. No. So I can't I can't read a book. It's just I like to go, I like to move around with it because you and I can. their attention but they keep they keep saying a lot of kids are H D A D H D D God. They can pay attention. They really can pay all these parents that are putting their kids on drugs because they're A D H D I mean, I am sorry. Okay, if you're really you know, the kid really needs I don't want to say some cases they need it. I I understand. Some cases okay but come on. Just shove a pill in their mouth. They need to It's a thousand other ways of getting their attention. You have to find out what makes them tick. Yeah. I can go back to I can go back to my daughter. My daughter now is 31, 32. She hated to read at first. And then I I found what makes her tick. I gave her a book and it had, I'm not gonna lie, it had one or two curse words in it. And she saw it. And she looked, can I read this, Danny? I say yes. And she started reading it with the net. I said, read away. Yeah, I love that. You have to find what makes your kid takes. And you know what that takes? Time, consistency, effort. So let's switch gears. Attention. You have to pay attention. That's the main thing. But here's the thing. For the last five minutes we have on this podcast, let's talk about Adults versus kids. So if we can teach the adults how to teach the kids, that would be a beautiful thing, but we're not teachers, educators, we're personal trainers. So let's talk about the difference between when you train adults and when you train kids, how we can get through to the adults the way you can get through to the kids. Is it possible? I've learned now. Since I've been working with this group for a while, I have a coach that I I've watched him for a long period of time. Actually, I followed him from Alonzo Morning, because I used to work at Alonzo Morning. We both started there, and then he went off, I went off, and now we came back together because he's like one of the head guys of the Dolphin Academy, and he had to bring me along, which Not gonna lie, I was I was trying to get him to go to Alban and get the head coaching there so I can move back home to Alabama. But that didn't happen. That didn't happen. But just watching him, and I picked up on a lot of things he does as far as working with the kids and the adults is show, do, and say. You have to be able to show the kid what to do. So any any type of movement as far as showing the kid or the adult, saying what you're doing. And sh and and and and them visualize seeing it. Now, when you say, everyone can understand, but when you say to a kid, you have to talk to a kid on a third grade level. You can't talk with them all big. You have to break things down. And the more you break things down, the easier it gets. Like, for example, the easiest one, if if I say to an adult to do a squat, you can squat down. You say to a kid, do a squat. You don't know what they don't know what you mean. But you could easily say, Okay, we're gonna do this. Sit on the toilet. They know how to sit on the toilet. That's true. That's a squat. They have it now. Yeah. And it's the same it's the same with adult. Once you can get on their level, it's easier to teach them. Yeah. Now what would you find is like the hardest breakthrough or or the hardest challenge you've had with training adults? Like A woman wants to lose ten pounds. She loves her wine. She's not an alcoholic, but she doesn't want to give up her wine. She wants to eat her food. But she wants to lose ten pounds. She listens to you, goes home, does whatever she wants. How do you break through that biggest challenge? How do you get through to the adults? It's not easy, right? The hardest part is They bring it to me, that's easy. Not a problem. The hardest part is keeping them consistent. Because for some for some reason, and if they could, if they could bring their body to the gym gym and drop it off, and I do whatever I need to do and they and send it back, they'll be perfect. But it's keeping them consistent. Everyone thinks they can walk in the gym on Monday and by Friday they're gonna be where they need to be. I don't need you no more, I'm gone. That's what everyone thinks. That's so true. You're right. That's what everyone thinks. Okay, I'm gonna stick with you. Okay, I'm gonna buy 10 sessions, and that's gonna be it. No, sweetheart, we haven't broke the iceberg yet. That's so true. Consistency day in and day out. Till this day, I still have clients I haven't seen in California in over 20 years, and I still text them on a day on a daily basis. Now, I do I do have a thing. When you Ever send me that text to stop, I hit the delete button because that means I get to add someone else to my roster. yeah. The same as I told you, I have two buttons. It's full go and off. Yeah. If it's if it's full go, I'm gonna bug you on a daily, weekly basis to make sure you're where you need to be, you're getting what you need to get, and to push you as much as I can. Yeah. If I can if I can send, if I can send you. Five texts a week and three of those texts get to you, I did my job. But the day I send you five texts and none of them get to you, just let me know, delete. It's time for me to move on. Yeah. Consistency. That's the number one thing that I tell everybody. Consistency. Like because I don't know how you feel about this, but me, I train the physical body and I tell them consistency, eat healthy. show up, do your workouts. But for me, what's more important than that is working on your mind and your soul. And I'm always telling all of my clients, you have to journal, you have to breathe beautiful positive energy out the negative energy. And you you you go here, which is good. But what I do is I always dedicate the last 15 minutes to where I personally stretch you. and make you breathe and I talk with you to calm you down. So I'll give you 45 minutes of hell. In the last 15 minutes, I'm gonna stretch you. Now I have had a lot of clients can we start the workout with the stretch? No, it don't work that way. You gotta go through the hell first. But I will give them I would give them a workout in the last 15 minutes I'll lay them down, make them relax, stretch them, focus on their breathing. Light talking, but to get them to relax a little bit more. So I don't do the breathing here. I make them I make them lay down and relax and it makes them feel better. Yeah, it's so important because the mind, body, spirit connection is what people are missing. And they you know what I I just love and I'm being sarcastic. All the women that I train, not all of them, but most of them are like, my god, look at me, I'm getting a six-pack. I feel great, but mentally they're down here and they're like, Well, what's wrong? I look better. Why aren't I feeling better? Well, looking better is external, and okay, that'll make you feel a little bit better. But if you're not working on your mind and you're not loving yourself, and you're not feeling worthy, and you're not putting boundaries and taking care of you, you're not going to feel better. So I love that you're like that. That's why like I tell people I can smile on a daily basis because I know I'm doing what I need to do to this body to keep going further and farther and further. I have never looked in the mirror and said, no. Every day I look in the mirror like, God, you see. Why are you talking to me like this? my god, me too. I love it. All the time. It feels good. Me too. I'm like, you know what? And and we know each other, so we don't think we're egotistical. But I look in the mirror and I'm like, you're a you're a goddess, Lisa. You're sexy. But then I see a picture, I'm like, my God, you don't look like you're 25 anymore. But in my head I look like that and I feel like that and that's the world a difference. Even before the consistency, it has to be discipline. Yeah. If you're not disciplined, you're not gonna be consistent. See, those two things go hand in hand. They go hand in hand. So that's that's why I text on a daily basis just to be your alarm clock. Yeah. I'd like to be your long but hey, it's time to get up. It's time to do this. Feel that heartbeat. Let's get it going. The kids are running around. You still want to run with them. Let's go out and do something. Give me a walk on a daily basis. Yes, an eight-minute walk. You only got to walk four minutes away, turn around and come back home. That's your eight minutes for the day. Yeah. It's it's it's little things. Once you get those little things going, boom, everything else opens up. Yeah, one step at a time, one day at a time. And with that, we are going to end because you gave so many beautiful little words of wisdom here. So I love it. I love it. Discipline, consistency, one step at a time, one day at a time. Four minutes up, four minutes back. That is exactly what everyone watching this podcast needs to know. Health. Fitness, wellness, mind, body, spirit, all could do it. It's just one step at a time, one day at a time. Go out today and walk, just like Sly said, four minutes up, four minutes back. And there you did something beautiful for yourself. So anything else you want to end this beautiful podcast with? And I wanna thank you very much for spending your time with me because you do have a lot of words of wish. You know I got your back. Anytime you need me, I'm here. Anytime. I know it's just hard to connect and I'm glad that see that you're feeling better. Yeah. I'm glad to see that you're feeling better. But anytime you need me, I'm here. Anytime. Okay. And and let people know how to reach out to you if they want to train or do you bring their kids or how do you do you have a Your Instagram or something. Instagram yeah, Instagram is Slide Slide Training Miami. and YouTube is Slide Training Miami. website is Slide Training. Now if parents have kids they want to join at the the Dolphins Kids program, how do they Yeah, that's Miami Dolphins Academy on Instagram. We just launched that last week. Miami Dolphins Academy, so and it's going like Crazy. But I don't know if you it's still time to sign up, but it is possible. Okay, perfect. All right. And you stay rocking slide, Sylvester Stallone, Rocky. I'm gonna try to. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. And don't forget, everybody, seven five four two two four four one three. Share your story with me. And after you watch this podcast, like it, share it, comment it on it, and Give it to people who need it. Everybody does everyone does. Thank you all. Have a beautiful day. Have a good one. Bye bye.