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Over the Top or Down the Wall? Navigating Priorities with Your Spouse · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for October 28, 2026 Over the top or down the wall?
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  Navigating priorities with your spouse?
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  When you were single, deciding what mattered was easy. It gets trickier when
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  you have a spouse who doesn't feel just as you do about every little thing.
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  When you got married, were you suddenly exposed to ways of doing things you
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  had never considered before?
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  I mean, who would have thought to hang the teepee over the top?
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  And why does the toilet need fuzzy covers? Does it get cold? Is it shy?
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  I jest, but it's one of many little clashes in how things are done we all have
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  to deal with when we get married.
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  Unless you didn't deal with it and one person just acquiesced to what the other wanted.
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  Acquiescing over how the teepee hangs isn't a big deal. But if either of you
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  has just gone along on priorities, that will become a problem.
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  Money is a common priority issue for couples. How much of a priority is saving?
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  How much of a priority is charity giving?
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  Do we need to spend so much on entertainment? Do we need to spend so much on
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  clothing? You just got a new phone last year.
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  Money is a good example because there are both wrong answers and places where
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  it's different but not wrong.
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  If you spend in a way that means you can't buy food or pay the mortgage, that's wrong.
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  If you want to give more money to charity and save less, that's a choice.
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  Both are good, and the Bible tells us to do both. For most couples,
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  the difficult issue is balancing those and other expenditures.
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  Caring for aging parents is another one. Letting them be homeless is a wrong
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  choice. But how much do you do?
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  Is what they want reasonable, or do they need to be told no more often?
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  Is it time to get the siblings to pitch in?
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  Have you had the talks you need to have to be on the same page about things
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  either of you feels are first tier? It's never too late.
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  This is Paul, and the teepee hangs the wrong way here because I'm trying to do marriage well.