Latest / Callum Walker | Figuring It Out / Episode 59: If You're Having A Bad Day - This Will Help

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Episode 59: If You're Having A Bad Day - This Will Help · Callum Walker | Figuring It Out

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: If fear is the only thing stopping us from achieving our dreams and we only fear what we don't understand, then the antidote to fear is knowledge.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: All we have to do is find out who has the knowledge that we need to conquer our fears and achieve our entrepreneurial dreams. My name is Callum Walker, and welcome to the podcast that will help you figure it out and conquer this lonely entrepreneurial journey. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the podcast. If you are having a not so good day, maybe even not so good week, month, year, if things just aren't quite working out the way that you want them to. But specifically today, if you're having a bad day today, then I'm gonna share with you on this episode something that really kind of allows me to make sure that it doesn't compound.
• 1:03
  And if you are having a bad day, this will really, really help, and it's something that we can all do. It's not easy to do, although it's simple, which is amazing because the simple things aren't always easy. So yeah. I think I did an episode a few weeks back where I really kind of first of all wanted to emphasize that, yeah, it's a bad moment, not a bad day. And I think first of all, you know, I'm certainly guilty of it in the past that I've allowed a bad moment to really kind of spiral and compound and turn into a bad day.
• 1:44
  But really, what I'm doing is just dwelling on one bad thing that happened and replaying it over and over and over again. You know, I'm not sure if you played golf, but I remember, I was going through a period where I was really trying to like level up my golf and I just couldn't quite make it work. So one of my best friends, he's a golf pro, and I, I said to him, I was like, Lee, what is wrong with my golf? Why am I not where do I need to improve? And he actually said, which was amazing, he said, it's not that you need to improve and you need to get better at driving with your iron play, chipping, putting or whatever.
• 2:22
  Just need to be less crap. So what do you mean? He said, if you look at your round of golf, it the problem isn't that you go and hit the ball in the trees. The problem is that when you're in the trees, you'll hit the ball back into the trees, that you compound your mistakes. So if you didn't compound your mistakes, then it doesn't become a bad round.
• 2:45
  It just becomes a bad shot. And and that's really kinda like stuck with me in terms of this is not a bad day, it's a bad moment. But if if it is a bad moment, it's really easy for me to say, you know, it's not a bad day, it's a bad moment. We need some actionable tools to make sure that that that doesn't happen. And I think that that is almost kind of a beautiful, almost like a philosophy of life of, you know, first of all, you need to know what to do and then you need to be able to go and do it.
• 3:21
  You know, again, I always say this to all of my coaches and all of my clients. There's a difference between knowing what to do and doing what needs to be done. You know, we need to make sure that we can do the two. So yes, me saying, it's not a bad day, just a bad moment. Okay, cool.
• 3:36
  That's really nice, but what can I do with that information? And this is something that has really, really helped me because when I first got into the self development world, I wasn't really kind of aware of like positive thinking and all that sort of stuff. And by the way, the answer isn't think more positively. You know, if you are in your own head, you know, it's just like today, you know, I definitely was going for a bit of a period where I was feeling quite low. I was feeling pretty low and and I could have very easily allowed that to just compound and compound and compound.
• 4:10
  Now I feel much better now. I feel I feel positive. I feel in a good spot. And yeah, kinda coming back to that. Sorry.
• 4:21
  I got a little bit sidetracked then. But coming back to kinda where I was, that if you are having a bad moment, if you are in your head, when I first got into the self development world and started learning about positive thinking and all this sort of stuff, I thought it was just as simple because this is what it said in all of the books. This is what all of the self help gurus say, which is, you know, just think more positively. Replace that negative thought with a positive thought. And I'm like, I actually kinda used to get frustrated at that because I would try my best to do that.
• 4:56
  And to be honest, I then get really kinda frustrated because I've been in a negative headspace. And then when I'm in that negative headspace, I'm trying to kind of switch it to a positive and I I kinda can't. I kinda can't. And then I get frustrated that I can't. And then I'm kind of panicking.
• 5:11
  I'm like, my god. I'm thinking negative thoughts now. Oh my god. I'm rubbish and the self development work doesn't work for me. And and I think that that almost kind of like replace your negative thoughts with a positive thought.
• 5:23
  Again, it's only half of the puzzle. It's only like a couple of pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. We need to be able to put that puzzle together. I mean, how do we do that? Well, one thing that's really stuck with me, and I actually heard it first from, Andrew Huberman and then again through Chris Williamson.
• 5:42
  He's got a great podcast called Modern Wisdom. Don't listen to that. Keep listening to this. Oh, and also, if you haven't subscribed, please subscribe. I'm desperately trying to get my subscribers up to 15 subscribers.
• 5:58
  I think we've got 10 now. But if you can help me get to 15, it would just be amazing. Thank you. It's not that there's any monetary equivalent attached to it. It'd just be really nice.
• 6:08
  So yes, if you can, just like subscribe to this. You'll be able to make sure that you don't miss an episode as well. But yeah, Chris Willoughton and Andrew Huberman both said this, which was don't control the mind with the mind. Control the mind with the body. And that hit me immensely because I kinda realized that if I'm trying to just replace these negative thoughts with positive thoughts just with my mind alone by trying to think more positive thoughts, I've gotta have the fucking mental discipline of a Tibetan monk.
• 6:42
  I haven't meditated long enough to be able to have that power and that control yet. So my mental strength, so to speak, isn't strong enough to be able to do that. But do you know the thing that is? My physiological, my physical strength. You know how you go for a run, you always feel like you're in a better headspace afterwards?
• 7:06
  Like it that again, that almost kind of philosophy there is what I'm gonna kinda push to you here because when the way I kinda see transitioning and getting out of my own head, getting out of a negative headspace and getting into a positive headspace is very very similar to the way you put an Instagram reel together. K? Now stick with me here because it all makes sense. If you've ever put an Instagram reel together, and you've put music on it, then this will make a lot of sense to you. So basically what happens is that you you have a video, you have the video of you talking or whatever it is that you're doing.
• 7:49
  K. You upload it and then, it gives you the option to put some music on. So then you choose the music that's gonna go over the thing. Now what happens is that you have two volumes. You have the volume of you speaking and what you want to say, and then you have the volume of the music and whatever the music is actually playing.
• 8:09
  So you've got two volumes. Now what happens is that when you first when you first upload it, the volume of the music is at a 100 and the volume of your voice is at zero. So we can almost kind of see this as a metaphor for the volume of our positive voice, I e our positive thoughts, and the volume of our negative thoughts. Now if we think about it, when we first when we're in this negative headspace, what's happening is that this negative voice or these negative thoughts are significantly louder, they're significantly more potent than the positive voice. And yeah, so so what happens is that the negative voice is at a 100.
• 8:58
  Now what happens is that if we if I then am trying to put the the music I'm trying to put my my voice up to the same level of the music cause I can't hear my voice, I can only hear the music. What happens is that I go and put my own voice up to a 100, but then I have two volumes. Oh. I have two volumes that are a 100 each. So the volume of the music is at a 100 and then the volume of my voice is at a 100.
• 9:33
  So I kinda can't hear anything either. So the negative voice in the music is still there and that's almost kind of the equivalent of trying to think positively. Like, the negative voice is still there. What we actually need to do to hear the sound of our own positive voice and put ourself in a positive headspace is first, decrease the volume of the negative voice. Because otherwise, we're just gonna still hear all of these negative voices, and be in this negative headspace.
• 10:02
  So again, almost like how how does this kind of tie in? Well see it as if you're having a bad day right now and your negative volume is at a 100, well just thinking positively alone is just gonna put your voice at a 100 but the negative volume is still at a 100 as well. So you're not gonna hear that positive stuff because the negative stuff is there. So what we need to do is actually first of all, decrease the negative from 100 to zero and then we need to increase the positive from zero to 100. Now how do we do that?
• 10:32
  Well, that's where you do some form of physiological activity. And that's where, you know, whether it's exercise, whether it's specifically I would go with the exercise side of things or some form of sauna or some form of cold water therapy. Those are the things that allow me to automatically kind of dial that negative voice down from 100 to zero. Now why is that? Again, there's loads of physiological reasons for it but I think if I can put it really simply, I think that what happens is that when you go through some form of exercise, so for me, what have I done today?
• 11:10
  I I went in the sauna. So I'm sat there, it was 90 degrees, fucking roasting. My body is under stress. So effectively, what happens is that the mind starts to realize that like, okay, right. The stress in my mind that is currently going on, what is more of a threat to my life right now and requires more attention?
• 11:32
  What is a bigger stressor? Me potentially baking in a sauna and potentially dying or this negative hoodoo that's going on in my mind. So I think what happens is it puts it into context of what real stress actually is. So remember, when you're doing some form of exercise, it's a stress to the body. When you're doing cold water therapy, it's a fucking stress to the body.
• 11:59
  So what happens is, so for me, the negative voice was at a 100. I went in the sauna and that's brought it down to zero. But then what I need to do is I need to bump up my positive thoughts to 100. Now I don't do that through thinking positive thoughts. I just find it's not powerful enough.
• 12:23
  Really what I feel is the most powerful way to do that is actually taking positive actions because those positive actions result in positive thoughts and the most positive action that I believe you can take is an action of gratitude. One thing I've always struggled with, you know, I've heard so many people say you need to like focus on gratitude, write down things that you're grateful for. I found that not to be particularly powerful And I've really kind of struggled with that and gone, I kind of don't get it. Whereas what has had a more profound experience on on me and more profound effect on me has been actually taking actions of things that make me feel grateful. So whether it's actually instead of thinking I'm really grateful for Alice, I'll go and spend time with Alice.
• 13:16
  Or instead of like, and I'm really grateful for my brother, I'll call my brother or I'll call my mom. So I do an act of gratitude. So for me, what is the act of gratitude? For me, it sounds really silly, but recording a podcast, I said on my last episode, I just absolutely love doing these podcasts. I'm not really sure why.
• 13:39
  It's probably an element of therapy for me. And and the fact that hopefully this this helps you is is is a beautiful bonus. But for me, doing a podcast episode puts me in a real beautiful positive vibration, a positive place. So if I kinda look at what I've done, like I feel really good right now. I feel really positive.
• 14:01
  I feel really content. I wasn't feeling positive and content an hour ago. Promise you, I was feeling irritable. I was feeling a bit frustrated and a bit low and maybe a bit sad. But I went, okay, right.
• 14:33
  That's bringing you present. That's allowing you to be in charge. Recalibrate. So we've gotta change things up. So first of all, I took a breath.
• 14:43
  I was like, right, I'm in a negative headspace here and I've gotta change this. I then had to recalibrate. So I pulled myself in the car, I took myself to the gym and I was like, right, okay, we are changing this thing and I'm going to the sauna. And then I got in the sauna, I delivered and I'm in a positive place. So again, getting in the sauna that lowered the volume from a 100 to zero and then delivering a podcast episode to you guys allowed my positive voice to get to a 100 and I feel in a much better place.
• 15:14
  And that's all changed around in an hour. Now does that always happen? No. Sometimes I kind of stay in the vortex of the negativity when I know I should go for a walk. So I failed at that, but I'd like to think that I succeed more than I fail.
• 15:31
  And I I think there's one other thing I wanna kinda share with you, is something that I read today in Napoleon Hill's book, Outwitting the Devil. It's quite an unknown book actually, but it's it's amazing. But I remember like one saying in it, so if you are struggling at the moment, if you are maybe feeling like it's just not happening for you, it's just not working yet and maybe feeling a little bit helpless, He said, he said my desire to carry on was greater than my desire to quit. And I think that's all this this journey is about. It's just about making sure that my desire to continue is greater than my desire to quit.
• 16:15
  So with this, almost like you know, yeah, there are times where I do lose to this almost kind of like you know, get in a negative head space and it does become a bad day because I've made that bad moment compound itself. But I like just to think that I win more than I lose. And I guess that's all we can really kinda ask. And again, I've really kind of been thinking and pondering on things recently. Almost like what is a happy life?
• 16:44
  And I think that for me, a happy life is just the balance of positive and negative in terms of your own mental state. Just almost kind of the ratio being a bit more in favor of the positive than it is in the negative. The negative is a fact of life, it's going to happen. If I can spend more time in the positive than I can in the negative, then that's alright. And being able to do little things like this that allow me to just recalibrate, step out of the negative, ensure that I don't get sucked into it and then step into the positive, you have that at your disposal.
• 17:21
  Again, today, you know, went in the sauna but the the one that is most readily accessible for me is going for a walk. Going for a walk in nature, no headphones, getting out there, just looking around at the absolute beauty that I'm surrounded with and just doing that movement always allows me to bring that negative volume down from 100 to zero, more than anything really. And then I'll, like I said, I'll go and have an act of gratitude. Never forget, if every one of your clients gave you just one new client, you've doubled your business.