Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Old Alan Skydiving Instructor

Transcript

Phone Tap: Old Alan Skydiving Instructor · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Imagine how nervous you'd be for your very first time skydiving.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Oh I can't imagine because I would never do that,
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: the anxiety of it.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: But now imagine the person that's going to be strapped
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: to your back for your first jump is octagenarian Ellen winter.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: That's what happens today.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Wife is pranking her husband who's going up for the
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: first time with his buddies. Alan's gonna be breaking the news.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be your jump partners. Can't just hope he
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: remember to take my heart bills.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, you'll hear him fall asleep. Mid You're gonna hear
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: his reaction in your phone.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Tap right now.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: An the twenties, Hello, Hello, is this Darren?
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is Darren.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Who's this Miss Alan winter Bottom? I'm calling from West
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: sky Diving.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, it.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Says here on my sheet that you have a jump
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: booked for yeah Saturday, Yeah, yep.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: My wife actually booked it for me as a birthday gift.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Yeh.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Me and a few friends are going to be there
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: this weekend.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's real swell. My wife left me ten years
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: ago for a younger man. He was eighty three.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Saton I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, me too, So
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: why exactly are you calling me?
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Sorry? I almost dozed off there. I want to talk
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: to you about your lesson. So how many how many
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: times you done this year before?
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: This will be my first time?
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Actually, oh, oh, it looks like we got some fresh
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: meat being a clean up on Aisle three?
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what exactly do you mean by fresh meat?
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: Clean up on Aisle three?
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: Oh? You know, newbies, whenever they go up for the
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: first time, they have a tendency to wet themselves from
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: the fear, so clean up on Aisle three.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: I hope that. I hope that's not me. I hope
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: we won't have that issue.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Well, it happens to me every time. Oh jeez, why
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: I wear a diaper. Yeah, you'll feel the warmth because
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I'll be strapped onto your back there.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: What do you mean you'll be strapped?
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's how this whole thing he works. It's called
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: tandem jumping.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Oh and so you're saying you and I are the tandem.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: Just kind of curious. How old are you.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I'm old enough to know what the heck I'm doing.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I'd been in Normandy. What I said, Normandy.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: You're telling me right now that you were in World
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: War Two in Normandy.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Good work, Sherlock. Yeah, that was there D Day. That
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: was actually my last jump till tomorrow with you.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Wait, so you haven't jumped out of a plane in
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: sixty years?
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Hey there, Sonny, I'm doing you favor here. Okay, because
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: some of the fellows who work here called in sick,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: and then old Alan had to go grab his old
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: war pair of shoe. Okay, me no lip from young
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: people like you.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: I wasn't trying to give you any lip.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I'm just by the way, you got any duct tape
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: because there's a few holes over here. We gotta patch
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: them up.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, I think, I'm actually kind of happy.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: Maybe some second thoughts about this weekend.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure you're thinking you're worried just because I
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: haven't jumped out of a plane in over half a century. Now,
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm doing. Just what I'm gonna
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: open up the YouTube's here and we learn all the lessons.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: You just hold on there, okay, sir.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: If this is not safe.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: You just hold on. Modern technology is no good, all right, Sorry, sir,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I'm really not trying to be right here. I'm shut
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: up there and things not connected? I think, No, it's
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: not working. Did you screw it up?
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Sir? I did not, Would you do do anything up?
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I didn't do anything.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Did you push your button?
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: Sir?
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Shut your mouth there, You're gonna ruin it. These things
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: are sens.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: Okay, sir, that's it. That's it. I'm done. I don't
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: want to go skydiving.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: What's wrong you? You? You scared you so that you
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: need to borrow one of my diapers.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: So does my wife need to cancel this skydiving lesson?
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Or can I just cut the tie right here because
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I'm done?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Hey, don't we don't give refunds for prank phone calls?
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah? No, I'm not prank phone calling you. I just
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: want my money back.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: No, I've been branking you. Kom boop?
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: What what the Oh my god?
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll put my old man boys a wait for
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: a second. My name is really jeff I host herh
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: my god.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: Wait, this is the same person I've been talking to
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: the whole time.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm actually a radio show host on Brook and
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning. And your wife set you up
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: for a phone tab dude?
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, you don't worry.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: You're not jumping out of a plane with some ninety
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: year old.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Oh my god. I was like, I didn't want an
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: upset a World War two veteran, but at the same time,
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to die. So I can you come.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Over here and to play some cream on my rash?
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: It's getting pretty bad.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: No, sir, I will not be using any cream.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're sissy. They don't make me. They used to
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: wake up every morning with phone taps. Weekday mornings on
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: the twenty Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning