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153 - Being Graceful with Yourself (Why It Fuels Discipline) · Getting After It

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to the getting after a podcast.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Everybody excited to have you here today.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: As always, I appreciate you for tuning in and listening with your friend Brett.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: It's another quick hitter today.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to boil down the lessons that I want to talk about on my own in a very short way, just so it's easily understood and it's not too long.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: You know we don't want to sit through lectures and I don't want this podcast to turn into a lecture.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: So, trying to give more easy, easy, actionable items that you can take and apply to your life, hopefully improving it, improving your situation, helping you get after a little bit better, getting you one step closer to your goals, that's the goal.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: So the thing that we're going to talk about today Ooh, before, actually before we do that, I want to introduce you to the first Getting After it merch that will be live here shortly.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: We found a good supplier, we are rocking and I'm really excited to offer some of these things to you guys.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Hopefully you like them, and if you don't, hey, that's fine.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Everyone's got their opinions, but I think they are going to be sweet.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Anyways, back to today's episode.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: The way I want to introduce this topic is by telling a story first.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So let me jump into that for you.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: There's an old story about a farmer.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: In the spring he plants seeds Every day, he waters them, tends the soil and waits.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: But summer brings drought, the sun scorches the ground and growth is painfully slow.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: The farmer could rage at the skies or give up on his crops, but instead he keeps showing up.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: He waters what little he can, pulls weeds and cares for the ground.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: When autumn comes, his harvest is smaller than he hoped.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: But because he never stopped, there is still a harvest.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: So the lesson there very simple Progress doesn't always happen on our timetable.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Sometimes, despite all our effort, results don't come as quickly as we clearly, as clearly as we want them to be.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: And in those moments, grace is what keeps us moving forward.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Grace keeps us tending the soil, even in the dry seasons, and that's what today's episode is all about.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Why grace isn't the opposite of discipline.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: In my opinion, it's one of the things that can help you with your discipline.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I'll get into that a little bit more later on, but giving yourself grace doesn't mean you're lowering your standards.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: In my own experience, it means that you're actually willing to push a little bit further, because we'll look at how grace can build consistency and how important it is to reframe your perspective when things don't go your way, and some practical steps that you can also take and try to apply to your life.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: So why do I think grace builds consistency?
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Well, it's kind of interesting, I think, if you're not, if you don't understand that you're a human being, I believe all human beings require grace to some extent we are.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: We all make mistakes.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Every single one of us does.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: That could be to yourself, it could be with your goals, it could be to someone else.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: You might make a mistake and hurt someone else.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: But the thing is is because we are all imperfect.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I think it's important to recognize that our training will also be imperfect, and the grace I want to talk about today is specific to fitness, being graceful with yourself and fitness, and we can make some correlations to our real lives.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: But I want to keep it on that concept and on that topic.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So if you think about that idea that we're all imperfect, you can't expect every single one of your workouts to go perfectly.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I think that sets you up for failure.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: If you go out with this mindset that you're going to a hundred percent, hit all your goals when you want to do it on your own timetable, you might get slapped in the face a little bit.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: You might have to take a step back, reflect on where you're at and make some adjustments to your plan.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: That's not a bad thing.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: In fact, I think that's part of goals setting and and and accomplishing things just as a standard.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: You're going to have to adapt, you're going to have to make changes, and if you don't, that gives you more ammo to want to give up, because if something isn't going your way and you want it to fully go some certain way that you have built out in your head, you might be disappointed.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: You might not get the results that you want, and that might lead to some self-talk, to where you talk yourself out of the goal itself entirely.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: You might say, well, I'm not getting it to when I want, or I'm not getting the thing when I want it.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: There you know, the goal is, is defined, it's clear, but it hasn't happened yet and because it hasn't happened yet, I'm going to give up entirely.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: That's a dangerous place to be and I would argue that is a loser's mindset.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: It might be harsh, but I think that's true.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: A loser is someone who doesn't find ways to improve, to make themselves better, to find ways to continue to push their boundaries and to keep going.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Now we often think that discipline never means missing anything.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Right, you know, I often talk very highly about discipline, but it's because of the results I've seen in my own life from practicing the principles that discipline says.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: You know you're never supposed to falter, you never let yourselves off the hook when things go bad.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: But the truth is, grace is what makes discipline sustainable, in my opinion, because without it you can burn out.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Without it you might want to quit a few times and you might give in to that thought, but with it you keep showing up long enough until the results actually do happen.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: And I remember this because I was training for my first ultramarathon in 2024.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: And if you haven't trained for an ultramarathon, those are some hard days.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Those are some really long hours on the trails.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, they're long hours on your feet.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: It is a very difficult thing to do and during that time I remember just being so fatigued.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I was burnt out mentally because I was working a lot Like I still have a full-time job.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: So I go to work, I'm working there all day long, and then I'd come home and I'd, you know, continue to try and be a good husband for Allie, even though I was tired at the time.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: But the training itself was what was difficult, because I was fatigued beyond belief, my body was having a hard time recovering and I didn't know what to do.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I thought I was a loser.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I thought I wasn't made for ult for ultra marathon running because of how my body was responding at this time.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: So I called up my coach and I was telling her my situation and I just remember her saying hey, okay, well, let's back off, let's take a full week.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: And I was like what do you mean?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Take a full week?
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And she's like you're not going to train at all this next week.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And I was caught off guard because I hired this person to help me train.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Right, I hired this coach who has ran Boston, who's run ultra marathons before, who's coached many others she's a great coach.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Here she comes telling me hey, actually let's not run next week.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It was hard for me to digest for a minute, but eventually I was just like you know what.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: She probably knows what she's talking about.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: She's done this before.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to listen to her, I'm going to apply what she says, and I remember that week where I took off of training.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: It felt like a weight was off my shoulders.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: In a sense, I was able to take a step back and recognize, you know, where I'm struggling in my training, where I need to shift my focus, whether it's to nutrition or some other things, and I had a lot of time to recover and rest.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I still stayed pretty active during that time, like going on walks and that kind of thing, but it was weird and she was right, though, because that week of rest gave me the reset that I really needed.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I reflected, I adjusted and I came back stronger when the time came.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Um, and in the end, I, like, when I ran the race, I placed 10th, which you know I'm I'm proud of because that was my first ultra marathon race.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Um, who knows if that would have happened if I just stubbornly pushed through, if I just was like, hey, I'm just gonna keep going.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Maybe I would have happened if I just stubbornly pushed through, if I just was like, hey, I'm just going to keep going.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Maybe I would have gotten burnt out closer to race day, and maybe I might've not even had the opportunity to run it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I love what Seneca says about this, because I've mentioned this so many times on this podcast.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: But we suffer more often in our imagination than in reality, suffer more often in our imagination than in reality.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And the point I'm trying to make with that quote relating to grace is simply one missed workout doesn't erase months of training, because if you're someone who's into fitness, if you are into running, training whatever it is, and you miss a day, you might have feelings of guilt, you might have feelings of discouragement or that you're not good enough for your goals.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I have felt that before.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: It's hard to live with.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I still have those feelings on days where I'm not able to train or if I'm feeling weak, man, I will beat myself up.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I will tell myself hey, like you're supposed to be, this guy who's able to run far and who's able to push themselves really hard, you tell other people to do the same, and here you are taking a rest day.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: But those are all thoughts that I just make up in my mind and, like Seneca says, it's all my imagination.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Like we suffer much more in our imagination than we do in reality.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: And so I've learned throughout the years that, hey, you know what one missed workout is not going to ruin my progress.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: If I have one bad meal, I'm not going to get destroyed on my diet, I'm not going to gain 10 pounds in one night, like it's all things that we, it's all things we imagine that drag us down, that keep us there, and it's until you are graceful with yourself and say you know what?
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Hey, I might be off today, I might have a rough day today, but tomorrow I'll be back.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Even Jocko Willink, the man who I have learned discipline from, who taught me how to work hard and to learn the good in every situation, the guy who's quote I have tattooed on my arm he sometimes takes rest days.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: He sometimes doesn't work out when he says he's going to at 430 in the morning because maybe he came back from a work trip at 1 in the morning and it's not feasible for him to go and work out Like he needs rest.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: But even he will post a picture of his watch, as he does every single day, and say hey, got to get back to bed, hold it for down for me, like.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: He will say stuff like that all the time.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: And I respect that because, as someone who's really looked at Jocko Willink as someone who, like he inspires me quite a bit.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: If he's even having those days where he doesn't feel strong enough to be able to do it, he knows his body needs to recover and rest so he can keep going after his goals then who am I to be any different?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Who are you to be any different?
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: Like it's okay, it's not going to kill you and so yeah, so that's the lesson I'm trying to get at here is that grace doesn't weaken discipline.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: It in fact strengthens it because it keeps you consistent in the long run.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: That's important to note.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: How can you remain consistent?
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Because we're not aiming for 100% perfection here.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: We're aiming for consistency.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Big changes don't happen overnight.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: They're built by small, consistent habits happen.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: They don't happen overnight.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: They're built by small, consistent habits.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: And that's one of my biggest pieces of advice I could give to anyone is build the habits bit by bit, brick by brick.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: You've heard that before and eventually that result will come, as long as you remain consistent.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Now let's talk about reframing how the brain works and how you can kind of see a different shift if you use grace properly in your life.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: So I used to completely measure my progress by numbers.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: You know, I'd look at my mileage, look at my paces, the weights that are lifted, and those do matter, don't get me wrong.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: They're very important, especially if you have like a certain, like a certain mile time that you're going for in a marathon or some kind of race.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: But now I I measure my progress by how I respond to things, like if I'm under the weather and I still lace up for a run, and maybe that run is is slower and it takes me longer, maybe it's even shorter.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of that because I still showed up and that's what I have recognized as important.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: At least to me is the consistency of showing up for my goals, even if the work isn't that great.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: Jocko has another great quote where he says if all you can do is go through the motions, then go through the motions.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: So if I'm just barely getting by, I'm still showing up to remain consistent and to remain disciplined to myself, then by all means I'm proud of the work that I was able to do, because the effort that took to get me there was more than it would have been to go out on a regular run.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: That's what matters to me is continually showing up, and I also follow the 30-30-30-10 rule, which means that 30% of my runs are going to feel great.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: They're going to feel amazing, and 30% are going to feel very average, 30% are going to be tough and 10% feel impossible, like that's normal.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: That is what growth looks like.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Expecting every day to be perfect is unrealistic in my opinion, and when I feel behind with my goals, I will pause.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I will sit with my thoughts and ask do I need to rest or am I being weak?
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Because I think that's an important distinction to be made.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: When I talk about grace, I'm not giving you an outlet to go and do whatever you want and tell yourself oh, you know, I'm trying to be graceful with myself.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: No, what I'm getting at is how can you keep the longevity of you being consistent?
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: How can you stay consistent for the long term, and grace plays an important role in that.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: You have to learn how to be nice.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I hate that, but you have to learn how to be nice to yourself and how to support yourself, even on days when you don't feel like doing things.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Um, the other day I was talking to my brother about just our weekly call.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: We always talk about our goals together and where we're at and the progress that each of us have made and he was pretty bummed with his uh effort this past week.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: He did really well the first four days of the week and the last three he kind of got sick and when he talked to me he was bummed, he was beating himself up.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: He's like, you know, all I got is excuses.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I'm just weak.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And I was like dude, no, you're not.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I was like tell me something good that happened during the week.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: And he's like well, the first four days of the week I trained really hard.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: I was really proud of the work and so I was like okay, that's 54% of the week.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: You're doing good stuff.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Like more than half the week you push yourself.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: You showed up when you didn't want to and even though you're sick right now, you're still trying to get out the door and running.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Like he went on a two mile trail run on Saturday but he was supposed to do 18, but all he could do was eight or it was two that day.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: And I was like you're still trying to show up, even if you're not getting the results you want with the runs or with your, your training.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: That doesn't matter.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: What's important to me is that you're continuing to show up for your goals.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: That doesn't matter.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: What's important to me is that you're continuing to show up for your goals.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Even when it's difficult, even when you don't feel like you have it in you, you're still trying to make it to the gym and I was proud of him for that, because that's what progress looks like sometimes, and sometimes it's just as simple as reframing your mind to find the small wins throughout the week to show yourself that you are actually making progress.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: It just might be a little delayed because things might have came up in your life that has slowed you down, which is completely normal.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I want to make that clear.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: It's completely normal.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Michael jordan has a really interesting reframe when he thinks about failing or failures.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: He um, he says that you know he he shot or he missed 9 000 shots in his career, and he would reframe it as feedback, like how he could learn from whatever he's doing right.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: And I think that's powerful.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: To also understand as well is that even the greats, they will have failures.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: They will have times when they're missed.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Would they miss this?
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Well, they will have times where they miss the shot literally, and they don't take that as a loss, they take it as hey, why did I miss that shot.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: Let's break it down to the smallest steps and let's figure out how I can make that when the pressure's on next game, like that's an important thing to to also note is mich Michael Jordan, the goat of basketball.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: He even recognized that failure is feedback, and I'm not saying you're, you're failing right now.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: But let's just take the example of, let's say, you missed two weeks of working out.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: My advice would be simple it's get back on track today, not tomorrow, not next week.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Get back on track today, not tomorrow, not next week.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Get back on track today.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Prove to yourself that you can still do something difficult and let that momentum build.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Progress is not a straight line.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: It's a series of reframes and small wins and the refusal to quit.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: You have to remain disciplined.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: You have to remain committed to the goal.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: It's easier said than done.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I understand that, but I would challenge you next time you run into something that is a roadblock in your goals, see if you can reframe it.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: See if there's something that you could learn from this opportunity and try to move forward.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Keep that momentum and if you've fallen off the wagon, get back on it.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Today.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: You have the power to choose.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: And if you're listening to this and it's 10 30 PM at night and you're feeling that urge to go and do something difficult.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Go run around your neighborhood for 30 minutes like go do something hard, prove to yourself that you can still do it and show up.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: And then let that momentum carry you into the next day and let it keep going.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: But reframe it as, hey, I'm not a loser, I'm going to get back on track.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Like I loser is a harsh word, but try and reframe it as an opportunity to be like hey, you know what, I still got it.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to let this define who I am.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: And prove to yourself that you can still push.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I want to give you some practical steps to apply this to your life and to maybe see grace as an aid in your goals rather than a deterrent or a weakness.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: In my experience, discipline does not just happen to someone.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: That's built through repetition and structure makes it sustainable.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: Right now I'm training for an ultra marathon in October and I try and break down my training into three different pillars, and that's the mileage, the nutrition and the recovery, and obviously mileage tests my distance.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: Nutrition ensures that I can fuel without crashing and recovery protects my body from breaking down and each week I will pull back and ask myself which of these three areas do I need to spend more time on?
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: If it's recovery, then usually need to spend more time on.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: If it's recovery, then usually I'll spend more time stretching.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: I'll spend more time doing mobility exercises and might slow down my paces, take it a little bit lighter in the gym.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: If it's nutrition, I'll experiment with different things.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: While I'm running I'll try to really really test my nutrition, which is interesting to say, like on a podcast, because why would you need to work on your nutrition?
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Well, if you eat the wrong things on race day, your stomach might really get messed up.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Your body might not respond very well to them.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: So it's important to practice that during the weeks of training.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: So as you approach race day, that's locked in, you're good to go.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: And recovery is also important, like you have to learn how to recover.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: But the more I focus on taking each of those small, the three pillars, and trying to focus on each one each week, it makes it a little less overwhelming.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: It makes it more sustainable for me.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: And when I was training for my first ultra marathon, I mentioned how I was just very overwhelmed.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: I felt fatigued mentally and physically because it's my first one, right.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: But this one I'm taking a different approach, trying to break it down into the smallest categories I can focus on on each week and just make progress in each of those.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: And I know it sounds like you're not going to be making a lot of progress and it might not look that way day by day, but as you look back you will see that actually you are being consistent, you're maintaining momentum, you're building that momentum and you're getting closer to your goals.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: It's hard to do, but it's important to be able to have these honest conversations with yourself and see where you can focus on.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: And I also use checkpoints, like I have weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly goals and I write them down, I review them frequently and I couple that with journaling.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Like journaling for me is direct feedback into how I'm thinking about something, what I could be doing different about something and if there's anything that is in my way that's blocking my progress.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: The caveat to that is you have to be very honest with yourself.
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: There's no sugarcoating like why would you sugarcoat it?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: It's basically you're taking your own thoughts and putting them on paper.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: So if you're worried about sugarcoating your journal for yourself.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I I'd say don't do that, that's silly, like it's a honest conversation with yourself, and, and when I review my goals, I I you know if I miss one or if I make one.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: You know I record those milestones so I can either look at the pages and say, man, I got a lot of work to do, or I can look at the pages and say, hey, I'm on track, like I'm doing good, let's keep it going.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: But it's important to always self-reflect and I think for me, journaling is one of the best ways to do that.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: For you it could be just audio recordings.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: That's something my wife does whenever she wants to like get some thoughts out and keep them in her notes app.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: She'll just do an audio message and then put it in there, which I think is awesome.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: And so your journal, your journaling aspect, might be very different.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Maybe for you, journaling is going on walks, just so you can be alone with your thoughts and see where you're at with your goals, what you could be doing differently and how can you, you can improve, um, but I want to call out something which is is kind of interesting for me, someone who talks about getting after it all the time.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: It's kind of interesting for me, someone who talks about getting after it all the time.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: Rest is another piece of the puzzle To many people.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: They train until they completely collapse, and that's their idea of being disciplined, of working hard.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: But discipline isn't about destroying yourself.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: It's about sustainability, like we've talked about, and that means sometimes you need to listen to your body.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: If you need to ease back, do it.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Scaling down is not the same as giving up.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Like I said, the whole goal is consistency, and the more that you can master your mindset, the more you can control your brain and your thoughts, the better off you'll be.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: In fact, buddha has a quote where he says a man who conquers himself is greater than one who conquers a thousand men in battle.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: That's pretty interesting, and think about that for a second.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: If you're able to conquer yourself, if you're able to maintain your own self-talk and be able to really focus on areas that you want to improve on, be able to keep those negative thoughts at bay, don't let them infiltrate your life, you might start seeing a little bit more progress than if you were just so hard on yourself every day that you started to hate your life and you think now discipline is something that you are not looking forward to having exercise right.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: So being graceful is very important.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: It makes things very sustainable, and if I was coaching someone who was brand new to running or to really chasing a goal, the first thing I would tell them to do is to be patient with themselves, because you're going to ask a lot of your body and setbacks will come, but just don't quit.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Even the smallest forward motion matters.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: That is forward motion.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: You're getting better every day.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: People talk about 1% better every day, but honestly, I think it's not linear like that.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I think it's some days you're 5%, some days you go down negative 3%, some days you bounce back up 2%.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: It is a stock market line and eventually, if you look at the end, yes, it does in fact go up if you're focusing on the right things at the right time and trying to be the best in everything that you do.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Now you don't have to be the best, like you don't have to be number one, but you should be your best, and that is going to look different for everybody.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Nick bear often talks about stacking daily habits until they become identity, and there's a lot of power to that.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: You build these small daily habits that eventually they become who those habits create.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: So for me, for good example is running.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Like since we're talking about running, might as well talk about my own story.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: So for me, a good example is running.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Since we're talking about running, I might as well talk about my own story.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Right, I guess that's what I do on a podcast.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: But my running story, yeah, it's very average.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I started out running 12-minute miles and I couldn't run further than five.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: I eventually made my way up to seven and I was stoked because I had an 11-minute per mile pace.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: But for the first two years I wasn't really training with a coach, I was kind of just going on my own feelings.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: And the important thing is is I just never would stop showing up.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I would always try and run, even if my legs are sore, and I would always try and see if I could push myself just like a quarter mile further.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: But that quarter mile led up to a mile, and now I'm training for an ultra marathon, which I'm so blessed to be able to do.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: But that didn't happen overnight.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: Like Nick Bear says, it's stacking those daily habits.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: And because I stack that daily habit of running, guess what?
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I'm a runner, but I also believe the fact that if you just decide to go out and run, you're a runner too, but runner.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: But I also believe the fact that if you just decide to go out and run, you're a runner too.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: But now, like I can say, like, hey, I'm, I'm a decent runner, I'm okay, I can, I can maintain a good pace and and stay in the fight for a good chunk of mileage.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: But that's only because I showed up and I stayed in the fight for as long as I have, and I wish there was a faster way to get to the goals that you have set in front of you, to get to that end point.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: But in my experience it's not that way.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: It's very slow and steady Getting after it.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: This podcast is another great example of that.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll try and pile on too much at once.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I won't know what to focus on, which means my work in each of those things that I'm doing is not going to be as great as if I focus on one area at a time.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: So, with that same structure I apply to my running of hey, I got to focus on mileage, nutrition and recovery.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I do the same with getting after it.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: You know the podcast, social media shirts, the website, the blog, like things like that.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I try and break them down into hey, what needs my attention at the moment and how can I give it?
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: My all For me that tends to lead me to do better work and work that actually has results on, hopefully, the people who are listening or reading the things that I produce.
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: I think patience is crucial when you're trying to be graceful with yourself, because when I first married my wife, I was very bad at talking to myself, and what I mean by that is I was super negative to myself.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: I would beat myself up if I wasn't able to get a certain weight up, if I wasn't able to push myself as hard as I wanted to on a run, like I would tell myself the worst things, and that only made my thoughts negative.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: And this is so cliche.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: But having positive thoughts gets you a lot further than having negative ones, Because when you think about positivity, you focus on what's going well, you live in more of a life of abundance, and I feel like if you're focusing on the negative all the time, that gives you a scarcity mindset, to where you're focused on the problem rather than what you can be doing to change the situation and my wife sat me down once and she's like you got to be your biggest cheerleader.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Like that's why I talk about that a lot, because it's a very important lesson to me.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I used to hate myself with if I like messed up on a workout or if I didn't do as well at work as I wanted to.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: If I even had like a mediocre podcast, I would beat myself up and my wife's like I remember her saying this she's like if you're not going to root for you, who is like no one's going to want to follow someone who's just in self pity all the time, no one's going to take advice from that person.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: No, you got to be your own biggest cheerleader and that's why I'm making getting after it shirts, because I, you know, I'm cheering myself on.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I want to see people wearing my my shirts and, you know, hopefully they listen to the podcast and it's made some kind of impact on them to where they are a little bit more amped up to go achieve their goals, to go chase something that they've wanted to for a while.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: But maybe I've just been a little scared of that.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: That's what I want.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: I want a bunch of people out there who are just animals going after their goals, who are making progress in things that they didn't think they could before and who are helping others do the same.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I want a community of people who are getting after it all the time, and the only way that's built is by cheering myself on.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I might sound very prideful right now, but you know what?
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: That's what I believe.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I got to cheer myself on, because there's days when people don't they don't even listen to the podcast.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Or there's days when you know I explain what getting after it is to someone and they're like okay, that's great.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: There's plenty of other things out there that already do that and it's like yes, I know, but I want this to be a specific community of people who don't stop, who commit to their goals, who adapt when things go wrong, who help others along the way to stay motivated, to keep going, and I want to be able to highlight people when they win, like.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: That's why I love having other people on this podcast to talk to them about their goals and what they've done, because it's awesome to hear them talk about what has caused them to grow, what has made them the person that they are, and I hope to continue to bring on guests like that who are able to share their stories.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: But what's interesting about every single person I've brought on is they've all told a story about how they once recognized that they needed to adjust their goals, that they weren't going to be able to do it exactly how they expected it to go, and you know what Every single person who has said something like that has said that it's had a positive impact on them in some degree.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Like, I think, of Michael Whitaker, who he tore his PCL when he was going to go to nationals and he still competed.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: But he said during that time, you know, he pushed himself and he learned a lot about himself that he would not have if he decided to drop out for the season.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Or, um, I just had on dylan shirts, who's a discus thrower, and he talked about how he, you know, got injured once and he had to sit on the sidelines for a while and he still did all he could to to remain dedicated to a sport, but he learned he had to make some adjustments to his throws and all these different things.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: And of Drew who, my brother, who runs now and has this amazing transformation story from when he was 265 pounds to now he's 203.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: But he's definitely texted me and he's definitely called me and had days where he's like you know what I feel?
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Like a loser, like exactly what I talked about today with him saying you know, I missed three days of my workout program.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: I kind of feel like I'm falling behind when in reality, he's made so much progress over the past two years that no one would look at that guy and say, hey, that guy's falling behind.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: So learn to be graceful with yourself.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Don't beat yourself up anymore.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: You should be your own biggest cheerleader, especially on times when you need grace, because everyone falters, everyone falls down, stumbles, but you have to learn to get back up and keep that momentum going forward.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: That is what's going to get you that long-term goal.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: It's going to get you to where you want to go.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: It's consistency coupled with being graceful, being disciplined and just not stop.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Wow, guys, I am sorry I'm really having a hard time with words today, but it's not stopping on your goals.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: It's making progress every day, even if it's minute, you just keep on going.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: So here's the takeaway I want you to have Grace fuels discipline.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: It's not an excuse to you know.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Slack off, it's the thing that keeps you from going.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: It's the thing that keeps you when you're aiming for perfection but don't reach that level.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Perfection sometimes breaks people.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Aiming for perfection can lead to stalled results.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: So be patient with yourself.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: Reframe your setbacks as lessons, just like Michael Jordan.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Build a structure that makes discipline sustainable.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: And, most of all, don't you ever stop moving forward, no matter how small the step is.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: So this week, if you fall short on some kind of goal, practice grace instead of guilt and shame.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: Then just keep moving forward.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Learn to get better.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: So it's all about guys.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: We're all striving to be a little bit better every single day and, like I said, I don't think it's a linear line.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I think it's more jagged like the stock market, but as long think it's a linear line.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I think it's more jagged like the stock market, but as long as it's continuing to go up, you're making progress.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: That's why you should make goals.
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: That's why you should track them and look at them every now and then and see where you're at, see if you're making progress or if you need to make some adjustments to get there.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys for listening.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I hope you guys can be a little bit nicer to yourselves, because I know it's a big issue, especially a big issue that athletes face um and just learn that.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Hey, you know what we're all human beings.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: We can't all strive for perfection all the time, because it's not realistic.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: So keep that momentum going.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: My, my friends and, uh, as always, keep getting after it.
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Thanks, guys.