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Biohacking Your Orgasm with Susan Bratton · The Kink Consultant

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It's a King Consultant podcast where we're turning up the heat
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on all things kink and dating, relationships and pop culture.
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So close the door, plug in your headphones, and let's get down
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to it. Hello everyone, and welcome to
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this week's episode of the King Consultant Podcast.
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I'm joined by Susan Bratton, an intimacy expert to millions and
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just a general overall sexpert as I have known her for years
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and have been following. There is nothing Susan will now
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talk about. Hi Amanda, it's great to talk to
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you. I'm excited to talk to you about
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kinky sex. Can I ask you a couple of
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questions? Go for it.
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You do a lot of one-on-one and couples work, so you're really
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in it deeply, which I love. What are you helping people with
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the most? What are the kind of maybe top
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three or four things that you're finding that people want from
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you? Great question.
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I think the number one thing that I am helping with the most
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is I work primarily with couples who are in that like 3540 plus
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range who have been together for a while and they've lost that
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intimacy, They've lost the spark and they're just trying to
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reignite their marriage and their bedroom life.
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What I do is I put the value on the bedroom life and what's
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putting there so that they can re explore themselves.
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And oftentimes because of what I do, one partner is kinkier than
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the other. And I'm sort of bridging the gap
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for them so that they can come to a mutual understanding of why
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desire is important to each of them and how they can both
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fulfill each other's fantasies so that they're enjoying
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themselves a lot. More.
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A lot. It's not one sided.
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Yeah. So that's really my main focus.
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And what are the kinky things that they come to you that they
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desire? What are top five or six things
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you most often see that one partner once and the other
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partner has to kind of get used to?
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It's often about power exchange, but oftentimes people will come
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to me and they both want the other person to be more dominant
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in the bedroom. But there are a bunch of things
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that he really doesn't understand or she doesn't
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understand. They want the fantasy and they
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want to be able to experience it without having to do all the
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hand holding. That's like a major kink.
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So there are someones that fall under that, though.
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Are you familiar with chastity? Yeah.
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OK. So I have a lot of clients who
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want to explore chastity and their wives have never even
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heard of a chastity cage. Like we're building up the
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partners education together, explaining why they enjoy it,
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what they want from it, how cages work.
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So that's a really common one. Classic Dom sub relationships
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are also another one and that's both men and women come to me
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and they're like, me and my partner want to explore this.
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We need a little bit of help. Power exchange is huge, chastity
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is big. A lot of them fall under that.
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Interesting. Those are the two big ones.
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They are huge. I'm surprised you would have
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picked chastity. I'm not surprised with power
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Exchange. That totally makes sense to me.
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And when you bring them into Power Exchange, what are you
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teaching them at a high level? Like what are kind of the big
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picture things they need to learn to be able to pull it off
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confidently? Funnily enough, one of the
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things that I have to talk to them about is how they interact
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with each other outside of the bedroom because it's only a
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power exchange. If you feel you're actually
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changing your role when you step into it.
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It's interesting. Women, whether they're being
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asked to play the dominant or the submissive role, talk to me
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a lot about not being able to rely on their partner to do
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things like take out the trash and replace the trash bag.
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I joke like that's one of my session lines.
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It truly is. I've told multiple husbands,
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hey, you're going to get more of what you want in the bedroom and
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she's going to feel the ability to be more dominant in the
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bedroom if she can trust you to be dominant outside of the
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bedroom and do your tasks equally.
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She finds it difficult to submit if she has to be the person
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always nagging outside of the bedroom.
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So I find that some of the outside stuff matters a lot when
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it comes into the bedroom and then when we talk about in the
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bedroom, confidence is the number one thing I am working
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with both partners on. They are nervous and fearful of
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upsetting their partner, hurting them, really indulging in their
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own desires because they have a lot of embarrassment and shame
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around it. So those two things coupled
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together, fear of not giving their partner what they need and
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actually hurting them, not even physically but just emotionally
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or in a different way. And then also embarrassment and
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shame about their own desires, making them unable to really
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relax into their role and take on this role play or even be a
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little bit more aggressive in the bedroom in a safe,
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consensual way. Those two things hold up so many
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people. Like I can't even put more
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weight on them, but I know that building confidence in, listen,
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you're not going to hurt them. They want this and this is how
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you can do it safely is a lot easier than D shamifying things
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for people. So I end up working with them on
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how do we remove the shame from this?
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Like, what are you feeling? Where's that shame coming from?
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And how can we navigate it so that you're still allowing
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yourself to be authentically yourself without having to
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police everything before doing it?
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Yeah, That's so interesting. Yeah.
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That's super good to know. Thank you so much.
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Everything you're saying makes sense and I would not have
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necessarily been able to answer the question for you myself, so
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I'm glad to hear about that. And do most people think about
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power play as I want to be restrained, I want to be
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spanked, I want to be blindfolded, I want sensation.
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Is it that kind of thing that most people are thinking about,
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or is it something different? I think a lot of people will
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come to me and think it is exactly those types of things
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because that is what the media has taught them exactly.
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Sense a craving for it, but they don't understand.
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So one of the first things I work with people on is
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understanding, OK? They'll tell me all those kinks
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and we'll get into the core desire that makes them excited
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about that kink. I'm like, how do you want it to
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feel? Like, why are you excited about
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being in bondage? And it's like, I just want to
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feel like I've given up total control, right?
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So it's surrendered or I just want to feel safe and want to
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when I'm restricted in some way, I feel safe.
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So I'm like, OK, so this is the feeling you want to achieve.
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You want to do it through bondage.
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There are other ways. I'll give an example of myself.
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I do like to feel powerful and I like to, I guess, hold people's
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throats. I have a partner who is not into
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that at all. But what I found was OK, I want
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to feel in control. I can't do that.
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What else can I do? So I found covering his mouth
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like is enough to make him be like, OK, I can surrender in
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that one way, nothing more. But it's sheets it for me and I
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was able to navigate past something I wanted to do and I
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was like, OK, let me redirect this into something else.
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And the reason I bring that up is that's often how kink works.
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It's like you have seen something and you're like, this
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stirred something up inside me. I'm like, all right, let's go
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one level deeper. What did it stir up how you want
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to feel? Here's your range of options to
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do that. Yeah, yeah, people do come for
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that. I have a range though, because I
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do focus on some really heavy BDSM clients, some people who
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want a full time 247DS dynamic. So some people it is just in the
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bedroom and then for others they really want to live this 24/7
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with a contract and rules. Before I even get there, I talk
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to them about like, is this something you really want?
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And I ask a series of questions. I really show them this is what
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it's going to look like. Is this what you want to sign up
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for? And then we progress from there.
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And very interesting. One of the things that I like to
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talk about is what's beyond being switchy.
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It feels to me like there are levels where the first thing you
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do is you kind of learn how to have what we see as traditional
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sex. And then you want to explore for
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more and you want to have some experiences of, you know, being
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dominant, being submissive. And I think a lot of times
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people, especially women, they start with learning how to
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completely surrender and letting go of control.
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And then as they get more confident, then they begin to be
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willing to take some control. Then they're willing to run the
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bedroom game and be a little more switchy.
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Their Switch gets smoother as they do it, and they're not
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necessarily always one way or another.
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It's like the mood. And then they move into what I
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call flow state, which is now you're with your partner, you're
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not even really paying attention to.
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There's no roles anymore. There's just flow.
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And the flow can be during a lovemaking date, you're really
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turned on and you're holding them down down, or you're
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grabbing them or you're moving them around or you're riding
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them or something like that. And then you might start out in
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complete surrender and end up in running the bedroom game.
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And I call that a flow state of sex where you kind of embody
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what we would have maybe in the old days called the masculine
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and the feminine or the dominant and the submissive.
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Now you are just, you're not even switchy.
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You're not even, I could do either one and enjoy them both.
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Now you're just in flow and it really starts go back and forth
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a lot when you're with a lover who's also able to hold flow
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states. Is there anything beyond that?
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That's super interesting because I agree completely that it's
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about energy. Even power change, it's about
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energy and energy can flow in those different ways.
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Beyond that, see that is in an energy state where you are in an
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intimate situation, I think. And that is a beautiful state to
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be. And I've had those experiences.
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A lot of kink. It's not beyond that, you know,
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that energy flow state exists. But then for some people they
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are layering on more structure and things outside of the
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bedroom. And I think it's just brought to
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its highest purest point in the bedroom that of like I'm in
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charge and you are submissive or vice versa.
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As I will say, kink is dynamic. You make of it what you want it
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to be. And I think that I can't answer
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for everyone if there's anything beyond that because for some
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there are and some there aren't. But I think you pretty much
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nailed it of like that is a through line of energy flow
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states. And sometimes you just stay in
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one and the other person stays in the other.
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But it can also switch depending on what the scene or what you're
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feeling in the moment. One of the things that I have
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been doing for the last two decades is focusing on what I
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call heart connected, conscious, passionate lovemaking.
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And to me, what I'm trying to do is move from performative sex to
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flow state sex. Incredibly competent, incredibly
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confident, no body image issues holding you back, no concern
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about having your partner contract if you do something or
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want something, like really open to what happens.
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Very loving. Even when it's highly hot and
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erotic, it's very loving and that you're not acting out
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anything you've seen, it's coming from within you.
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So one of the things that I have often found with kink is that I
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feel like many times it's very performative.
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It's what I've seen in porn or there's a certain way to do it.
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What insight could you give me about about how to become a non
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performative kinkster? So I think you are 100% correct.
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That performative kink thing, I think I always refer to it as
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the old guard. There was a time within kink and
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BDSM where everyone was like, you choose a role, you are that
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role and this is how you act within it.
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There's a new wave of kink now. That is exactly what you're
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describing of moving away from the performative side of it.
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It's not all whips and chains and none of it almost can be
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whips and chains. Like it's not always about sex.
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Sometimes it's just about experiencing impact.
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Play can fill your cup as much as sex can.
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And it's very focused on the connection and the trust built
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between two people to push things to a boundary.
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So I think that one of the things that is less performative
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now is understanding each other's limits and focusing on
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that of like, OK, this is as far as you can take it with me, how
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far do you want to go? And let's find our balance.
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So there's much more of a focus on not just one part having
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their needs met, but both people.
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And I think that alone allows it to not be performative,
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surrendering to each others needs.
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And I think that's one of the beautiful things about kink, if
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you're in the right dynamic and you're with a partner who you're
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flowing with, to use your words. Yeah, I have one more thing to
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say about the. Performance.
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Go ahead. People early on in their journey
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are performative. You have to to learn how to do
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it. Yes, let me go get all the gear,
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let me get all the stuff. I know in my 20s my wardrobe and
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toy chest was a lot bigger than it is now because I realized
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this is what I actually like. This is what I've been to.
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It doesn't need to be a big show, even though I was a pro
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Dom. So like that's another reason my
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wardrobe was really big. Do this professionally, but
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there is a lot that once you've sink into it and learn and
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really pay attention to what you like and is bringing you joy,
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that performance slips away. What are you currently really
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into? Tell me a story of a recent hot
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scene sex day you've had that was really exciting for you.
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So I'm a spanko. I have a spanking fetish.
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All of my listeners do this. I probably talk about it every
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second episode. My core desire is to be
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punished. I'd like to play with the idea
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that I am not worthy or I would feel very seen if someone said,
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I know you're not working as hard as you could be working
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right now. You could be doing better and
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I'm gonna punish you so that I set you on the right track.
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So I go to these weekend long parties maybe two or three times
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a year. And I met someone who is now a
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good friend and we created that scene together.
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And we went back to his hotel room and he got kind of mean and
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angry. And this man is like a tall,
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innocent vegan. He is the sweetest person you've
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ever met. And when I got him into the
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bedroom and we did this scene together, I was like, what?
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Who is this person? He was scary.
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And it like, it like holds me into whatever he was creating in
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a way that I was really to let go and just enjoy my fantasy
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because he was so serious. He just created so much energy
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that was outside of himself and brought me in that I was
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actually scared but knew I was safe because we'd negotiated.
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I was believing the things he was saying because we were just
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connected and he was responsive to my body so he could see what
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I was thinking by looking at me. And at least that's what it felt
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like. And that was such a hot scene.
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I like started a blog just to write to tell people about this
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scene. But it didn't lead to sex.
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There were sexual elements of it.
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It was mutual masturbation. He came on me.
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So it was intimate in that I was sort of degraded.
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But after once the scene had ended, he just picked me up and
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held me even though I was like, I felt dirty and disgusting.
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But he was just like, you did such a good job.
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And there was that sort of instant repair and appreciation.
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And then I mutually appreciated him back.
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And I don't know if I'm doing the scene justice, but it was so
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beautiful to be seen, to be taken on a journey and then to
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be held and like repaired after and told like, you are amazing,
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you are good. This was just for fun.
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That was probably one of my hottest scenes lately.
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Nice, I love that you want to hear one of my hottest scenes
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lately. I do want to hear one of your
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hottest scenes lately. So I am in a relationship with
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two men currently my husband and my boyfriend and we've done all
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sorts of things together and I really like MFM threesomes.
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I like to be dominated by two men simultaneously.
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And it was really fun. It was a really fun day.
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It was like a very masculine scene in that, and it was very
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energetic. One of the things I like about
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my sex life right now is that I'm 64 and I'm having the
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hottest sex of my life. Yes.
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And I know we want to talk a little bit about like how to
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extend your sex span as you age. Could you keep getting better
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and better at sex if you take care of your genitals?
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So I know you want to go there And I'm kind of transitioning us
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into that, I think with this conversation.
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I'm very nimble. I'm very live, I'm very
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flexible. I have tons of stamina.
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Like I've got big bicep. Look at my look how big my
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biceps are. I'm like, I'm jacked.
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And part of the reason I'm jacked is that I spend a lot of
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time on all my hands, knees. Feeling the next day when you
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realize you did a workout. I do workouts and like my
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shoulders are strong, I can be on my hands and I can be on one
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arm holding a cock in my hand going down on it for a long
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time, right I. Love that.
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And this is one of the things that I love about sex is that it
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keeps you fit, which I think is a really very underappreciated
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aspect of hot sex till you the day you die.
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I really like to start out with a yoni massage, a pussy massage,
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because it gets me engorged. And I don't like to have sex
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until I'm like, really, really engorged.
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I'm giving yourself that, massage or no, or give it to
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you. Yeah, why would I do it to
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myself when I have two men who can serve me?
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So I mean, come on. Have you taught them to do the
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massage or you're just like massage me, worship and like,
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get me there? One of the my programs is called
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Expand Her Orgasm tonight.com and it's a clitoral stroking
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technique that allows you to stroke a clit and get a woman
17:07
into an orgasm asmic state where she can come for really long
17:13
periods of time and each orgasm stacks more intensely and even
17:19
longer overtime. Sometimes I like to see how many
17:22
hours I can come, you know, like I'll come for hours and like to
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see what I can do with that because I really like to have
17:28
all the different kinds of orgasms.
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I study orgasm and I teach people how to come.
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That's one of my best things I do.
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I teach orgasmic intercourse. I teach the 20 kinds of orgasm,
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what they are, how you can do them.
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Orgasmic techniques, because orgasms can be generated through
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locations to touch, through techniques to use like the
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expanded orgasm stroking practice, male multiple orgasm,
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female ejaculation, erotic hypnosis.
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These are orgasm techniques or objects of desire like floggers
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and neti restraints and Electro stem and, you know, whatever
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your jam. And so it's those 3 categories
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that elicit human orgasm. And so I like to try them all
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and have all the kinds of comes and get better and better at
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them overtime. And at 64, I'm coming way better
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than I came at 54 or 44 or 34 or 24 or 14.
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You know, I don't know. I had orgasms in school.
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College for me, but like I was a late bloomer.
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I'm a late bloomer too, and I think being a late bloomer is a
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really good thing because you just keep creating new trysts
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with life and expanding. It's like ever expanding.
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So I expanded orgasm and I have another program called female
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liquid orgasm, which is G spot dearmoring, G spot pleasuring,
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and female ejaculation. And so we kind of started with
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those basic techniques and then I realized I really need a lot
18:55
of outer labia, Mon groin, my sweet little cheeks.
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I need all that pleasure too. I don't just want a finger on my
19:04
clit or inside my vagina. I want full engorgement.
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As I started to understand engorgement, which we'll talk
19:12
about in a minute as we get into sexual intimate Wellness your
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whole life long, the spongy tissue that we have in our vulva
19:18
as much as our male bodied partners have in their penis.
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But we're just not taught that people aren't aware of that and
19:24
that we need Our Lady boner. But it's really wrapped all the
19:28
way around our vagina. It's not just the tip of the
19:30
clit. There's this, all this tissue in
19:32
there, but it takes a while for it to get filled up.
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When it gets filled up, it has more surface area, and that
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surface area, when you touch it, all of the nerve endings and the
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core puzzles and the mecanoreceptors and all these
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cellular components of our anatomy that send signals to our
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biggest sex organ, our brain. There's more surface area, so
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there's more signaling happening.
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So there's more intensity of orgasm, easier to come, come
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more often, come lots longer, all that stuff.
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So I like a yoni massage and my husband was giving me the yoni
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massage while they put my favorite little.
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Blindfold on me and that says fuck yeah.
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And it's fuzzy and purple and they lay me down.
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And my boyfriend did sensation play with me.
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He tickled me. He used ice.
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I had my mask on. He played with my nipples and my
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breasts with sensual oils. And he made out with me softly
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and fiercely while my husband was giving me just this
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incredible pleasure. And I was ejaculating like crazy
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after a while and just soaking the bed like I, I showed up at
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that date wanting to just squirt my heart out and I was just like
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ready to go. I just was ready.
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I was hydrated. I was elevated.
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You've been preparing, you've been hydrating all day.
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Ready for this encounter? I love it.
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Do your boyfriend and your husband usually get together and
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you have. Experience.
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We do a lot of that. Yeah.
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I've had thousands of threesomes.
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Obsessed. OK, so good.
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Yeah, I like group sex and I like to go to sex parties and
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see everybody fucking. I have a fluid bonded group, so
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we only Make Love within our container.
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I never do any mouth to genital or genital to genital contact
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with anyone outside my group. Nor do they.
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So we can have unprotected wet wild sex.
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But I love to be in in groups of people making love sensual and
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sexual communities of all kinds. So we were doing that.
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And then I don't remember what our transition was, but it was
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hilarious because we ended up, my husband loves the Liberator
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wedges. He loves those wedges and they
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restrain you. You know, you can restrain on
21:45
them and everything. And so he had me on the wedge
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and my boyfriend had my legs up and he was fucking me while my
21:56
husband was squatting over me and basically fucking my face,
22:01
you know, like go yeah, like I was sucking his cock and but he
22:04
was in control because I couldn't really move.
22:06
But he knows exactly how to do it cuz I've done it a million
22:09
times with him and he knows how to breathe me and he knows depth
22:12
and stroke and all that stuff. And they time their strokes.
22:16
So my boyfriend followed my husband's strokes so I was
22:22
getting stroked in my pussy and my mouth simultaneously by them
22:27
and they were taking me slowly higher and higher and Cumming me
22:31
and I was screaming and moaning and I I couldn't see anything
22:35
all I could just be I was swamped with.
22:37
Cock actually getting excited as you're talking.
22:42
I'm like, what? My body.
22:45
It was so good and we had so much fun.
22:47
And then after I think my husband was, his legs gave out
22:50
after a while because he's super tall and so he's got a lot to
22:54
hold. He's like 6, three.
22:55
He has a lot to hold up, you know.
22:57
A lot and be in that position and going up and down.
23:00
But I like him to do it because it keeps him healthy and young.
23:03
You know, he's very live and he's very fluid and he's really
23:07
got good strength. So after we were done, I'd come
23:11
and I was exhausted and we had to take a break.
23:13
And we're all lying there. I'm lying in the middle and the
23:15
two guys are lying on both sides of me and we're just sitting
23:17
there talking about what was fun and having a good time and
23:19
telling our favorite moments and just enjoying herself.
23:22
And I just thought to myself, such a perfect experience to be
23:26
with two Incredible lovers who are so comfortable with each
23:30
other and so well tuned. And they were just willing to
23:33
just swamp my system with pleasure.
23:36
And they like, they'll do it for the moans, They will work for
23:39
moaning. They love to hear me screaming
23:42
and moaning. And over the years, I've gotten
23:44
a lot better at that. I've become very auditory and
23:48
it's joyful for all of us. We all enjoy it.
23:51
And I just love all the different sounds that come out
23:53
of my body. That's a real pleasure, too.
23:56
And so it's just so neat to know that you can have these great
23:59
experiences with all of this sensation and pleasure and
24:03
slowness and hotness and swamping of, you know, just
24:08
getting it. Yeah.
24:09
And so that happened this week. That was a good sex date.
24:12
But then it was funny because once I had all that, the next
24:15
sex date that I wanted, my husband had to leave.
24:17
He had to go down to San Diego to get some things for his
24:19
pilot's license. And my boyfriend stayed with me
24:21
for a few more days, and I wanted sensual, slow, romantic
24:27
lovemaking. Like I'd had enough of that.
24:30
And I wanted almost the exact opposite, which was just like
24:33
lots of slow pleasuring and kissing and very erotic and very
24:39
sweet. So do you feel that balance?
24:41
Is it within you having both of those needs met at several
24:44
times? Yeah, yeah.
24:46
I have to tell you, the thing that is really striking me the
24:48
most right now is I talk about a lot about self exploration and
24:52
self pleasure. Your ability to document your
24:55
own journey of just becoming more auditory like that is a
24:57
beautiful thing that I think I have questions Like why do you
25:00
think you were less auditory before?
25:02
Did you just not know the pleasure that it could bring?
25:04
Or were you more reserved in the bedroom before and being louder
25:08
came from confidence? I'd love to a little bit more
25:10
about that. It was the latter and you know,
25:13
I just started out being ashamed of everything and knowing
25:15
nothing, just like everybody. And I almost got divorced from
25:19
my husband because I didn't want to even have sex with him.
25:21
I'd never had an orgasm from, of course.
25:23
And I fucked him dutifully for 12 years, and I was just tired
25:26
of it. And we were just like, OK, we
25:28
need to fix this so we don't have to get divorced because we
25:31
love each other and we're best friends, but we should be best
25:33
lovers. And we went to a bunch of
25:35
workshops and we learned how to have hot sex.
25:38
And I realized, oh, it's really easy to have hot sex if somebody
25:42
just tells you what to do. I want to devote the rest of my
25:44
life to just teaching people what to do.
25:46
Just give people the step by step by step.
25:49
And so that's what I started 20 years ago was doing that and I
25:53
started out being basically barely orgasmic, totally quiet.
25:57
I didn't even ever look at my genitals.
25:59
I thought I was ugly. I thought my body was fat.
26:01
I thought my boobs were ugly. And now at 64, I'm like, I think
26:05
my boobs are incredible. I think I'm so hot and sexy.
26:10
I don't care if there's like a little tummy pooch or Cellulite.
26:12
I mean, I just think I feel more gorgeous than I've ever felt.
26:16
I'm a better Comer and the reason I started moaning is
26:19
because my current boyfriend, he is hard of hearing in one ear,
26:24
but I could never remember which one.
26:26
So I was just loud all the time. And I also remember that I
26:29
started learning how to ride cock maybe six years ago, like
26:33
late 50s. I started really like, I want to
26:35
be on top, I want to be more aggressive.
26:37
My confidence has gotten me to the point where I want to run
26:40
the bedroom game and now I'll be riding my husband and screaming
26:46
and be like, am I hurting your ears?
26:47
He's like, oh God no. I love it so much, you know,
26:51
because now I love to just dominate him and tell him dirty
26:55
stories and scream and moan and ride his cock and he just loves
27:00
it. It's so much fun for him after
27:02
all those years of putting in. Now he's also receiving some
27:07
really fun wild things from me, which I love.
27:10
So this is the same husband for the 1st 12 years.
27:13
That you 34 years with him. Wow.
27:15
I've been with him longer than I've not now.
27:17
He's my partner for life. We've been through thick and
27:20
thin, sickness and health, poverty, everything.
27:24
We've been through it all together, raised our daughter.
27:26
She's incredible. Yeah.
27:28
So I love that there's no life without him.
27:31
Like the decision was to work through it and it's like this is
27:33
the problem. There are solutions to problems.
27:36
Let's find it and then. They're so easy.
27:38
Yes, it's not hard to learn how to be hot in bed.
27:41
You just need to know what to do.
27:42
How many? Courses do you have now?
27:44
44 books and programs. Just a wealth of knowledge, like
27:48
a truth expert, a truth expert who lives it and reads it.
27:52
So I really do want to get into like.
27:55
Wellness. As you age, like how you can
27:58
improve it? Yeah.
28:00
What have you been working on lately?
28:01
Like what have you discovered that has made the biggest impact
28:03
on other people's lives on your own life?
28:06
Remember when I was talking about how I'm coming better at
28:09
64? My pussy's never been juicier,
28:12
more luscious, more active, more responsive, more orgasmic.
28:18
My husband's cock's never been bigger, harder, firmer, better.
28:23
Nor my boyfriend's. We have Olympic quality genital
28:28
systems, and that's because we do things to take care of them.
28:33
And what happens is, you know how your grandma and grandpa, if
28:38
they're still alive, they're tinier now.
28:40
You know how they're little? They get smaller, yeah.
28:43
We get smaller and that's atrophy.
28:45
Our muscles shrink. Not mine.
28:47
Like I have more muscles now than I've ever had in my life.
28:50
I'm bigger and my thighs are like slabs of meat and I love
28:55
it. I am moving into the last 40
28:58
years of my life on this planet with, you know, just strength
29:04
because that is what keeps you young.
29:07
That and good sleep, good nutrition, good sex, good
29:10
movement, good exercise. Those are the four factors of
29:13
longevity. And my brains never been more on
29:16
fire. I mean, I'm writing multiple
29:19
books, I'm producing a documentary, I run a mastermind
29:22
for Sexperts. I speak all over the world.
29:24
I'm leaving for Australia next week to do a speaking tour in
29:27
Australia. I'll be in Europe next year on a
29:29
speaking tour. I'm just having the time of my
29:33
life, so I'm not atrophying, I'm not shrinking.
29:36
I'm growing, I'm building, I'm expanding and my genitals are
29:41
expanding, not contracting. The erectile tissue in my vulva,
29:46
my vulva vaginal system is the same as the erectile tissue in
29:51
my husband and my boyfriends penises.
29:53
And instead of it atrophying, we do the things that keep it big
29:59
and plump and sending all those signals to our brain.
30:03
And the way that we do that is twofold.
30:07
The first is blood flow. Taking a nitric oxide booster is
30:10
the simplest, most basic thing you can do once you hit 40.
30:15
Eat your leafy green vegetables, eat your beets.
30:18
But our soils are nitrogen depleted and we need the nitric
30:22
oxide to squeeze the blood from our body into our Dicks and
30:27
pussies. And when you can't get the blood
30:29
in, you have loss of erectile function, loss of sensation.
30:34
Your genitals shrink, you're on your way out.
30:38
So the way you do that is you take a nitric oxide booster.
30:41
The nitric oxide booster I recommend is Flow and you can
30:44
get a free bottle of it at get flowfree.com.
30:50
Take it anytime, night or day, it doesn't really matter.
30:53
Take some before sex, it'll pop those nitric oxide systems back
30:57
up and you'll get firmer. It'll get the blood flow into
31:00
your pelvic bowl so you can get it into your Dick and into your
31:03
clitoral, urethral, and perineal tissues of the vulva or in the
31:09
penile tissue chambers. The second thing is using pump,
31:14
a penis pump or a lady pump, a vulva pump, and clitoris pump.
31:18
What it does is it uses vacuum to draw the blood from your body
31:21
into the vulval or penile tissue to expand and keep the blood
31:28
carrying capacity high. You need the blood to feel the
31:32
pleasure, to get the erections, and women need as much erectile
31:35
function as men. It's just that people don't know
31:38
about that because we live in a Dick centered society.
31:42
But not for long, it's all changing now.
31:45
If you go to pumpingguide.com that has a book all about
31:50
pumping that teaches you what pump I recommend how to do it
31:54
for reversing atrophy, then how to do it for penile enlargement.
31:58
What lady pump? I like what you know everything
32:01
about it so you can learn about it.
32:03
It's the cheapest thing you can do to keep your pussy in your
32:07
Dick working great. I will be doing these things.
32:10
I'm 37 like I'm serving now because I love my vagina and I
32:13
on her that carry me through for the rest of my life so I keep
32:17
enjoying things the way I'm enjoying them now if.
32:19
Not better. And then from there, if you have
32:23
more atrophy and you've kind of let it go and you didn't know
32:27
about pumping and you didn't know about nitric oxide, you've
32:29
lost firmness. There's not a lot of
32:31
vascularization left in your penis.
32:33
You're having difficulty achieving orgasm as a woman.
32:36
Your labia are kind of like atrophied.
32:39
You've got vaginal laxity. Your clitoris isn't sensitive
32:42
like it used to be. Then you can get Gaines wave
32:45
treatments. Gaines wave is where you go to a
32:49
practitioner and they rub this wand, it's called acoustic wave
32:53
on your genitals. It does tiny little micro damage
32:55
that stimulates new tissue growth, grows back the
32:58
capillaries which then let the nerves grow back in.
33:02
So it plumps everything up and it gives you sensation and blood
33:07
flow back at a level that just a simple vacuum erection device
33:11
can't get you to. So it's like the next level.
33:14
And women can do this too. I've heard men doing this.
33:17
OK, women can do. My gains way for her.
33:20
I get it done every three to four years.
33:22
I go for a series of treatments and then if you have vaginal
33:28
atrophy like thinning of the vaginal tissue, I recommend glow
33:32
below. This is a topical vaginal
33:35
estrogen which has it's a biased.
33:37
It's estriol and estradiol serum.
33:39
It's supernatural and clean. My friend Doctor Michelle Samms
33:42
makes this. It's at get glowbelow.com.
33:46
I always give the links to everything because people are
33:48
like, where do I get that? So.
33:50
They'll get the show notes, yes. So all of these things are in
33:52
the show notes. Get glow below topical vaginal
33:55
serum. Put it on.
33:56
It thickens. It basically volumizes the
33:59
tissue so that it can hold the lubrication that comes from the
34:05
blood flow to your pelvis. So it trickles through the
34:08
vaginal mucosal lining and wets it.
34:10
If you can't get you got to take the nitric oxide booster to get
34:12
the blood flow, keep the vaginal serum to keep the tissue
34:15
thicker. It also helps you with UTI's and
34:19
you know, just basically vaginal atrophy.
34:21
So it reverses it and it's non systemic.
34:24
So if you're going to take regular estrogen, you can take
34:27
that too and then you can also add the topical.
34:31
It's not going to give you too much estrogen.
34:33
If you cannot take estrogen, there's a DHEA version as well
34:38
which is non estrogenic. Some women don't want to take it
34:41
the next. Yeah, either.
34:43
So I love that there's that option available.
34:46
I know exactly and very few, but there are some next.
34:49
I also recommend this. It's called the vagina device
34:53
and it's red light. You can probably hear it, yes.
34:57
It's red light therapy, photobiomodulation.
35:00
It goes inside the vagina. It stimulates mitochondrial
35:04
growth and that mitochondrial growth helps generate more
35:10
vaginal mucosal lining. It has warmth and Kegel
35:15
vibrations that allow you to tone the pelvic musculature and
35:21
the warmth helps ricolaginate the tissue.
35:24
So you can do this as well. And then I only recommend that
35:28
you use lubes that don't have any crap chemicals in them.
35:34
Don't put anything on your pussy you wouldn't put in your mouth.
35:37
I like the pleasure protocol, which is cocoa butter melts
35:41
arousal oil and sex oil with CBD because CBD is a phyto
35:47
cannabinoid that works with your endocannabinoid system and you
35:50
have a ton of endocannabinoids in your tissue and that's your
35:57
pleasure healing pathway and it keeps the tissue really good.
36:00
This is so exciting. Like I totally like, I want to
36:03
go experience all of these things and to understand what's
36:05
happening is really special because even as pleasure forward
36:09
as I am, as much as I care about self pleasure and exploring
36:12
myself, like I do not know these things.
36:14
So I'm super excited to try that.
36:16
Yeah, help and affect me. Yeah, Amanda, this is what I get
36:20
booked to speak on around the world.
36:22
Sexual biohacking, extending your sex span to extend your
36:26
health span. Sexual regenerative therapies,
36:29
the four factors of longevity, which includes sex span.
36:33
They seldom invite me either. Seldom places I can go to speak
36:36
from stage about how to have hot sex or orgasms, but people are
36:40
willing to talk about health. So that's my Trojan horse into
36:44
deeper conversations around pleasure and technique because
36:47
you can meet people in intimate Wellness and these are not well
36:52
known. And I have honed this stack and
36:55
these products. I've tried a million things and
36:58
these are the ones I love. I.
36:59
Feel that from you. You're sitting here and I'm just
37:01
thinking it's like she's doing the Lord's work out here.
37:05
It's like you're a preacher of hey, this is what's to come for
37:07
your future. Here's how to take care of
37:09
yourself now so that you can keep enjoying yourself.
37:12
I do. I have been worried about this.
37:14
I only found out this year that your labia can shrink.
37:18
Yeah. And retract overtime.
37:20
I did not know that. It's as people get closer to
37:23
eyes on. My friends and I are all getting
37:24
closer to perimenopause age and menopause age.
37:27
You start hearing it more. Your Instagram algorithm serves
37:30
you more stuff about it. And you're just like, faced with
37:33
a lot of these things. But it's not like there's not a
37:35
lot of solution. It's like, this is how bad
37:37
menopause is. And I'm just terrified of it
37:39
specifically as I'm like, no, I love her.
37:41
Yes. OK, and now I'm learning how to
37:44
take care of her in a way that she can be.
37:46
You want her to be juicy and luscious.
37:48
I call my pussy the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
37:52
It's like my labia are so luscious and they become me so
37:56
well and they grip those cocks so great and I'm so wet and
38:00
juicy. I've got no problems at all with
38:04
orgasms and sex feels great and I can have quite a bit of sex
38:09
and really not have any problems or any pain or anything.
38:14
I can take a bang in when I'm in the mood with no problem at all.
38:18
I cannot say that for myself. So I'm really like, I want to
38:21
try this because there are things that you're talking about
38:24
where I'm like, I actually need some of this now.
38:26
Yeah. Of course.
38:27
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 38. You do?
38:29
Yeah. It's almost like you're probably
38:30
also never too young to start. Like it's a good skin care
38:33
routine. It's good to start taking care
38:35
of these things now. Yeah, yeah.
38:36
The first things I would do for you would be the vaginal
38:39
estrogen, the glow below, get glow below and then I I would do
38:42
the pleasure protocol with the melts and the awaken arousal oil
38:46
and the sex oil. I would do those two things.
38:50
They'll be your first steps with the Flow Nitric Oxide Booster.
38:54
That's fun. That's what I want to get to.
38:57
Yeah, get it? Take a free bottle.
38:59
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm gonna do that.
39:01
The pump thing is interesting too.
39:02
I've never thought about it, and my curiosity has taken over.
39:05
I'm trying all four of these things.
39:06
It's like, again, once I hear about things, I'm like, no, I
39:08
need to see how this works for me, too.
39:10
Yeah, because again, this is something that occupies my mind
39:13
and I started worrying about it. I wanna start working towards
39:16
fixing it. What is so cool is when you pump
39:20
it up, they're clear cylinders. And when you pump it up, you can
39:23
see your little clit in there and you're like, oh, I've got a
39:26
Dick, that's a Dick. It's exactly a little Dick.
39:29
And then that is like, OK, well now I don't have energy.
39:33
I've got big clit energy, let's go.
39:37
And then you're just even more empowered.
39:39
I love my vagina like I. You too.
39:42
I have. You know how there's a
39:44
stereotype of men who love their Dicks?
39:46
Yeah. Like I love my vagina more than
39:48
thing I've ever met loves to Dick.
39:49
Like I get a mirror out. I'm like, she is so pretty.
39:52
Beautiful. Know her well, you're close.
39:55
So I'm like, I cannot wait to see her in her prime, pumped up
39:59
and like on display. This is fantastic.
40:04
I love it. Well, we've had fun.
40:06
Yeah, we did. Oh my God, you the way you
40:10
describe things too, I'm like, I feel like you must be a natural
40:14
at these things. What would you attribute your
40:16
growth and confidence most to if there is one thing?
40:19
Like how did you find your confidence in going down this
40:22
path? There were a couple things.
40:24
First is that when my mom raised me as a feminist, today I'm
40:27
wearing a necklace with a Susan B Anthony.
40:29
She was the suffragette that helped women get the vote.
40:32
A Susan B Anthony like dollar or something that came out in like
40:36
the 70s. My mom had this made made for
40:39
me. And she told me don't ever let
40:42
anybody tell you what to do. You make good decisions, you
40:44
know what you're doing, you decide for yourself, and you
40:47
trust your gut. Nobody owns you.
40:49
You are in charge. And that gave me confidence.
40:53
And then I married my husband and he's been the wind beneath
40:57
my wings. He's encouraged me, he's helped
41:00
me grow, he's called me toward my pleasure and expansion.
41:05
And he just cannot get enough of me.
41:08
He just loves me so much and supports me in my growth in
41:13
every area of my life. So I think it's the combination
41:17
of having a lot of encouragement to be who I really AM.
41:23
And I think that's really what's helped me.
41:26
And then I just keep maturing like we all do.
41:29
And I believe in myself because of those foundations, but also
41:32
because I've just found that out of any group of people, no
41:37
matter what, some people are absolutely love who you are
41:40
exactly for who you are. Some people are going to be
41:42
totally fine with who you are and they're going to be, they
41:45
like you. And some people won't like you,
41:47
they don't like who you are. And I am fine with that.
41:51
Like that does not bother me. I am not everybody's cup of tea.
41:55
I'm a lot for some people and I understand that, but that's
41:59
their trigger, not my trigger. That's their issues, not my
42:04
issues. So somebody's like, you know,
42:06
she's a slut, she's a whore, she's a Jezebel, she's a she's a
42:09
weirdo, she's a freak, whatever. I'm like actually, I don't think
42:13
I am. I think I'm actually one of the
42:14
more emancipated women and walking on the planet today in
42:18
so many ways. I run two companies.
42:20
I'm super strong. I write longevity.
42:23
I mean, I think I'm doing Incredibles, I'm doing it's
42:25
documentary, I'm on fire. And So what I've noticed is that
42:29
when you step into your greatness, whatever it is, it is
42:33
going to make some people feel triggered and diminished.
42:35
But that has nothing to do with you and should never extinguish
42:39
your flame. That's totally about them.
42:42
And ultimately, you did them a favor because either you showed
42:46
them something that's not right for them, or you showed them
42:49
where they have some triggers for growth and that's all good
42:53
too. But I have one more question
42:56
because I have a lot of married couples who listen to this
42:59
podcast and a lot of them end up being my clients because they're
43:03
experiencing exactly what you were discussing of like being at
43:05
that 12 year mark and being like, my pleasure has never been
43:08
centered here. What advice do you have for them
43:10
having gone down that path? Like can you give one piece of
43:13
advice to a couple who might be going through that right now?
43:15
What would you recommend? Yeah, I would say for me the
43:18
number one thing would be Yoni massages.
43:20
Regular unlimited Yoni massages. So she can get her pussy really
43:25
turned on and fully engorged and she can receive without
43:31
expectation. And that there's nothing tied to
43:34
it. And that you just fill her up
43:36
with orgasm and you cum the shit out of her.
43:40
Whenever you can get her to lie down, you just cum her and you
43:45
don't ask for anything because her coming is gift enough.
43:49
And when she wants you, she will tell you.
43:52
But if you give to her with the expectation you're going to get
43:56
something, that's where things go wrong.
43:58
Perfect amount of sense. The expectation is what's going
44:01
to set you up for failure there. Like you have to be giving.
44:03
Yeah. Love it all.
44:05
We really did have fun today. Oh.
44:07
My God. Fantastic.
44:08
And I would love to have you back on after I try all of these
44:11
things because I want the experience.
44:13
I want to talk through it with someone too.
44:15
Knows about it. OK, so we'll definitely have you
44:17
back on early next year because I am ready to go.
44:20
I'm like, yes, you came at the right time into my life.
44:23
Thank you. I'll be in Vegas.
44:25
I'm speaking at Camp B more in Vegas in I think it's like
44:29
March. I'll send you the dates and
44:32
maybe we can even do it in person.
44:34
Oh my God, I would love that. Send me the dates for sure.
44:36
All right, Susan, thank you so much for joining.
44:39
And as I said, all of the links you spoke about will be in the
44:41
show notes so that everyone can find their way to all of the
44:44
great advice that you've given. Today.
44:45
Good. I want to leave one more link
44:47
and that is I have a newsletter, it's at betterlover.com.
44:51
And if you like the stuff I've been talking about, that's what
44:53
I talk about two days a week on a really great newsletter.
44:57
And if you have any questions for me, that's how to get a hold
44:59
of me. You can always reply to the
45:01
Better Lover newsletter and when you reply, I get that in my
45:05
inbox. It doesn't go to my care team.
45:07
That's personal. So betterlover.com is the way to
45:11
kind of stay in my world, if you like what I said.
45:13
I love it. Thank you so much.
45:15
I hope everyone does sign up for that because you are a wealth of
45:19
knowledge. It's amazing.
45:20
Thanks, Amanda. If you enjoyed this episode,
45:25
don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with
45:27
anyone who might find it interesting.
45:29
And if you have any questions or topics you'd like me to cover in
45:32
future episodes, feel free to reach out e-mail
45:35
info@thekingconsultant.com. Until next time, keep on kinking
45:39
on.