Why People Get Into Affairs (And What's Missing)

The Scarlet Edit: Infidelity, Divorce, Starting Over. · Aug 20, 2026 · 20m

Why do people get into affairs when almost nobody actually wants to be in one? That's the question I sat with this week after a comment I made on last week's guest episode. I believe most of us are good at our core and don't want to hurt the people in our lives. So when someone ends up in an affair anyway, I think it points to something lacking within — not only in the marriage, but in the person.

I can only speak for myself. The version of me who got into a relationship with a married man didn't have the confidence in relationships that I have now. I was desperate to be loved and to be seen…