Latest / The Kink Consultant / Ep 18 - Dating Life Updates: Spanking Parties, Dating Drama & Unexpected Feelings

Transcript

Ep 18 - Dating Life Updates: Spanking Parties, Dating Drama & Unexpected Feelings · The Kink Consultant

0:23
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of The Kink Consultant.
0:27
I have convinced Brenda that we can skip our daily meeting
0:30
because I have to update her on my dating life.
0:32
How are you? I'm good, but it's been way too
0:35
long since we've had an update. So please, let's start spilling.
0:39
Let's get right into the teeth. We have a ton of new listeners
0:42
now, so do you want to introduce yourself?
0:44
Hello everyone I am. Amanda's Bizdon.
0:46
At least that's what I like to call myself because I'm the one
0:49
that helps her get all of the business stuff out and into the
0:52
open. Yeah, that is what you do.
0:55
Are you single? Engaged.
0:57
Married. I have been married for 1001
1:01
years. My husband and I have like been
1:03
together almost for 20 years now.
1:05
It's a a long time. I've never really dated, which
1:07
is actually the interesting thing.
1:09
Like I'm sitting here listening to you talk about all of the the
1:12
experiences that you've had and I never went through that.
1:15
Me listening to you talk about all this stuff.
1:17
It's so interesting because you know, you go from someone who's
1:20
out and experiencing life to someone like me who's I used to
1:24
think vanilla. Now that I know you, not so
1:26
much. Also, I know you're a big book
1:28
talk girly so. I am, I love my spicy books.
1:32
And so, you know, it's one thing to read about it, but to
1:35
actually hear fun, spicy stories in real life is like a whole
1:39
other. Totally feel you on that.
1:41
That's why I like sharing it too, because I'm like a lot of
1:43
us are out here doing this. It's just we might not be
1:45
talking about it. So I have a lot to talk about
1:47
today and you are my biz Dom. But just for me, everyone else,
1:50
you're their business manager. Do you know I'm going to a
1:52
spanking party next weekend? No way.
1:54
OK, tell me more. So obviously spanking is my
1:57
fetish. And it's a party called Oasis.
1:58
And it's actually happening the 14th, probably the day this
2:01
episode is out. It finishes on the Monday.
2:03
And I'm talking to one of the people, like a disciplinarian.
2:05
I guess that's what they go by. And he was like, you know, I saw
2:08
your stories and like, you don't seem to be working.
2:10
And I was like, fuck, I need to be careful of what I post.
2:13
But like, I really don't because I'm just going to a party full
2:16
of people who want to spank me and I want to be spanked by.
2:18
I mentioned it too because I want to encourage people to look
2:21
up parties for what they're interested in.
2:23
It is so worth getting out into your community.
2:25
OK. Based on that, you're telling me
2:26
that there are all kinds of parties for all kinds of
2:29
different things. Yes there are there are general
2:32
BDSM parties, there are parties for femdoms, there are parties
2:35
for spanking. There is rope parties like
2:38
weekend long events and people come from all over the country
2:42
to go to these and you should look these up that's.
2:45
Interesting. So like, this one happened to
2:47
happen in my hometown of Vegas, which is why I'm gone to it
2:50
basically every time it's been on since I moved here.
2:52
But also there's like different ones around the country.
2:55
I know there's one in Georgia, one in Texas I'm going to in
2:58
June. I think that when people talk to
3:00
me about it, I would encourage them to look it up.
3:02
It's good to know because honestly, like again, I've been
3:04
out of the dating scene for literally 20 plus years.
3:07
And so, you know, when you and I have our conversations about
3:10
helping other people get in the dating world and stuff, like my
3:12
brain consistently goes to like, how are these people actually
3:16
meeting other kinky people? You know, like back in the day
3:20
20 years ago, you know, that's not what it was.
3:22
We were going into a pub, you know, you were going out and
3:25
literally socializing in front of other people, not with the
3:29
screen, right? So like, there's got to be other
3:32
ways. And that was one of the
3:33
questions I was going to ask you today was like, how is it that
3:36
you're actually meeting some of these people?
3:38
Because I can imagine it's got to be hard just being on your
3:41
phone being like, sure, you're kinky.
3:43
How do you look kinky other than?
3:46
Yeah. Presenting implements and stuff
3:48
or whatever. Right.
3:49
I put it out there on the dating profiles.
3:52
I actually am changing it up a little bit.
3:54
I'm on multiple profiles, so I like to test things.
3:57
So I'm testing out like, hey, if I don't mention it, does it
4:00
change who matches with me? Does it change how my
4:03
conversations go? And I will say I end up being
4:05
matched with a lot more vanilla people, and that just doesn't
4:08
work for me. So I'm kind of moving away from
4:10
the app. I have a vanilla profile on, not
4:12
because the app's not great, more because my profile isn't
4:15
set up for what I want. And like, that makes me less
4:17
engaged. Think that that's probably a
4:19
common thing. All right, Where did we leave
4:21
things? The easiest one to knock out, I
4:23
think, is 58. OK, OK, let's do it.
4:25
So I saw him in New York, and we had a good date, right?
4:27
But I asked him, So what type of business are you doing in Vegas?
4:30
And he told me this elaborate story of like, this big, very
4:34
expensive deal. And I just didn't believe it.
4:37
But also, it wasn't just that the chemistry kind of wasn't
4:40
there for me, even though he was definitely feeling it.
4:42
I was like, no. So I left it a few days, talked
4:46
a little bit more. He was so sweet.
4:48
He was a really nice guy. Like when I met up with him, he
4:50
got me chocolate and he brought chocolate for my family.
4:53
Not like because I was in New York when I saw him.
4:55
I end things with him. And then this was the craziest
4:58
thing. A few weeks later, I got a
5:00
Google notification basically outlining the exact same story
5:04
he had told me. And I was like, Oh my God, you
5:09
really were trying to make that huge acquisition.
5:11
I didn't tell him. I didn't believe him.
5:13
Thank God the chemistry wasn't there and I don't care how much
5:16
money he has, I just could not believe when I realized his
5:21
story was true. But you know what, though?
5:23
I think maybe there's something there about like at the back of
5:25
your brain, you know, this is too Christian Grey.
5:28
The lines are too much. I can't.
5:30
I just felt like it didn't feel sincere, and even if that story
5:33
was real, which would seem based on the Google article and then
5:37
subsequent articles I read, I was like holy crap, this man was
5:42
not feeding me a line. He was 100% serious.
5:45
It's hard not to be cynical in today's world.
5:48
I could not imagine not, you know, like there's so many times
5:51
where in our daily lives people are telling us stuff that you're
5:54
like, OK, buddy. Yeah, so I ended it and I don't
5:57
regret it. It hasn't even crossed my mind
5:59
since. OK, Target guy, this one.
6:02
I think we might just be better as play partners.
6:05
I don't want to be too mean about him.
6:07
I don't think the Target thing was a fluke.
6:10
I don't think he can plan a date.
6:12
Oh like plot twist slash. Not at all.
6:15
I thought it was a quirky thing that he was like Oh dear let's
6:18
just go to target and walk around for like OK so legit
6:22
cannot plan a date. No, Round 2 didn't go well, but
6:24
it was like a lot of things, OK. I kind of was like, listen,
6:28
we've been talking for six weeks, we need to meet.
6:30
And he was like, well, I guess, you know, if you really want to
6:32
do this, you could pick me up from the airport.
6:34
I think he may have been joking. I was like, OK, I'll pick you up
6:37
from the airport. So I did pick him up from the
6:38
airport and then took him to his house.
6:41
So it was a weird second date. We went for sushi.
6:44
I said I wanted sushi. So he found us a sushi spot.
6:46
That alone wasn't enough. He ended up bringing me chili
6:50
like which was really nice. He came over one day after that
6:52
and brought me chili. I can't complain about the food,
6:55
he's a really good cook. I just wanted to go out and do
6:58
something instead. I said it but he didn't really
7:01
like take it a step further I guess.
7:02
He said he thought I was joking and I was like what?
7:05
I sent a screenshot back. I was like, show me where This
7:08
didn't seem serious and he couldn't.
7:10
It was like I wanted to go out and do something.
7:13
I don't just want to sit around. I guess.
7:15
I don't know what it was, but I needed something else.
7:18
I'm. Going to play devil's advocate
7:19
and say I know you and I know that you love the nightlife.
7:22
I know that you love excitement. I know that you want to be in
7:25
the party, let's call it that. You want to be in the activity.
7:28
And I feel that maybe that's just not his lifestyle.
7:32
He travels a lot for work. He's literally on the go all the
7:37
time. So on his off time, he wants to
7:39
be relaxed, he wants to be at home.
7:41
But that's an outside perspective.
7:43
You're pretty right. I wouldn't say that I handled it
7:45
well. I feel pretty guilty.
7:47
I think when it ended, I was frustrated as opposed to being
7:51
my normal self. He did not take anything
7:54
seriously. Like I felt like I wasn't being
7:56
met if I was trying to have a serious conversation.
7:58
He could not go to those depths for an emotional, serious
8:02
conversation. So the way it ended was just it,
8:05
it was back and forth, but also the most he had probably text me
8:09
and the most on texting me he had been was when we were
8:12
arguing. And I'm saying This is why it's
8:14
not working for me. He's like, well, This is why I'm
8:16
doing what I'm doing. And it's going back and forth.
8:18
And I'm like, if this is the best, most active conversation
8:21
we have, that also might just be the type of thing we would have,
8:26
and I don't want any. No thank.
8:27
You so and the fact too that you're going at him and you're
8:30
saying you're not being a combative you're just saying I'm
8:32
really sorry but here's my feelings and he's returning with
8:37
well here's my explanation for doing this to you.
8:39
Just that in itself it will always be 1 sided and.
8:42
That's exactly how I felt and I said I genuinely feel like I'm
8:45
chasing. Like I did feel like I was
8:47
chasing. So it didn't feel neutral.
8:48
But to him he felt like, oh, but we're texting every day.
8:51
I. Guess he's being literal and
8:53
we're being involved. We're trying all of the things
8:56
into it and he's just going. But you told me to text you.
8:59
I'm texting you. And I just said there was a
9:01
disconnect. I wasn't interested in finding
9:03
the bridge to reconnect because I just didn't feel it was worth
9:07
doing that work together to get there.
9:09
I'm realizing I travel a lot too.
9:11
Can't work but open to being play partners because I know
9:15
he'd be a lot of fun. That's.
9:16
Interesting, this is my somewhat vanilla person and haven't been
9:20
dating for 100 years. May that be a bit of a situation
9:24
because you had played with him at a different emotional level.
9:28
Emotions were involved. How do you now go back to no
9:32
emotions? That's how I feel.
9:34
I don't feel there was any like emotion behind it so I don't
9:36
feel anything would change. I'm just removing my intent now
9:41
because I'm done chasing. That's how I feel.
9:43
OK, 77 minutes. This man DM's me a couple of
9:48
times and I don't respond and then he sends a joke, right?
9:51
And Oh my gosh, it was about I like said, you can go vote on
9:56
who you want me to date in the podcast and he DM's me and he
10:00
said, but our write in ballots an option meaning like can he?
10:04
And I just thought that was so funny.
10:06
And we went back and forth. Humor is the weight of my soul
10:09
because he was funny. He damned me just before
10:12
Christmas. He was like, I would really like
10:14
a photo from you for Christmas, like totally clean vanilla photo
10:18
just from you that's not posted. And I said, I'll send you 2, but
10:22
you have to come meet me for coffee.
10:23
Knowing that I was going to be in New York, knowing that he
10:26
lived on the East Coast, not realizing he lives three hours
10:29
away in Delaware, he planned the place to go, what we were going
10:32
to do. Here's what happened, though.
10:34
He had to work. Not only that, so he's a full
10:37
time job. He acquired a business and he's
10:40
handling all of that, but still coming to see me.
10:42
So I'm giving this guy a lot of grace.
10:43
He tells me, listen, I know it's supposed to come at this time,
10:46
but I have to work and do this. Can I come on a later train?
10:49
I said sure, like my night's open, whatever.
10:51
He comes on a later train. He cuts out of the station and
10:54
he basically makes a series of wrong decisions to get down to
10:59
where I am. He doesn't know the city like
11:00
me. He gets on the wrong subway,
11:01
goes on the wrong direction, further goes in the wrong
11:04
direction. I'm like trying a little bit of
11:06
me. It's like, Oh my God, do men
11:08
truly not ask for directions? It's 2025 universe.
11:12
What is happening right now? You're doing everything in your
11:15
power to put you literally further away from me.
11:18
And here I am showing up on time, also documenting the
11:22
dates. There are thousands of people
11:25
watching these stories. Like people are invested.
11:27
OK. And I'm like, I am going to be
11:29
so embarrassed if I am stood up so publicly because it's like
11:33
it's that high school thing of like it's bad enough to be
11:35
embarrassed, but to be publicly embarrassed with thousands of
11:38
people. And I'm talking hundreds of
11:40
comments like the DMS I'm getting be like with the advice
11:44
solicited and unsolicited. It's overwhelming.
11:46
But also I'm not doing anything except waiting.
11:48
So I'm getting more anxious being like, Oh my God, this is
11:51
it's going to be so much worse. And I feel for him too, because
11:54
he's been so open and honest about everything.
11:57
He's sharing his location from the moment he leaves Delaware so
12:00
that I know where he's at in case like the train stops or
12:03
something and he has no service. I would see where he was last.
12:06
So I see every wrong move he makes.
12:08
And eventually he gets in an Uber and he comes to me and he's
12:10
super late and he's so late. He's literally 77 minutes late.
12:17
You know, it's hard to recover from that.
12:19
So we have this pleasant day. We do have a lot of fun talking.
12:22
So I walk him back to the station at the end of it because
12:24
I have to get to dinner with my family because we were supposed
12:26
to originally start meet at 12:30.
12:28
And then it just progressed with all of it.
12:31
And then he kind of ghosts me, but I still hear from him from
12:35
time to time. Like he eventually reached out
12:36
and he's like, look, that wasn't how I wanted it to go.
12:39
I've been super busy all of these things and I'm like,
12:41
listen, 77 minutes, it's fine. I just assumed you weren't into
12:46
it after I guess also the public humiliation for him.
12:49
But I'm also thinking no one knows who you, No one.
12:51
Knows who you are. Yeah, I'm putting.
12:52
Myself on the line here, but that's what I do and he knows
12:55
about it and he's known from the beginning.
12:57
So we still talk. He still looks at my stories.
13:00
I wouldn't be against him if he came out to Vegas.
13:03
I would see him. I'm not organizing another East
13:05
Coast date with him it. Sounds like you need to find
13:07
someone close to home just so that you can at least get that
13:10
initial like off the ground. You know what I mean?
13:13
Have that time together and you're not going to back and
13:16
forth. But again, it brings it back to
13:19
the dating online versus is dating in person these days too.
13:22
Like I I just finished listening to our next episode.
13:25
You talk about stuff like that inside of there, you know, how
13:28
to meet people in person and the the huge difference between it.
13:32
So it's interesting. I'm listening to you talk story
13:35
after story about meeting these men online and having such a
13:39
hard time forming those connections right off the bat.
13:42
You know I. Know it's so frustrating and
13:45
then like connections happen in the most random places and
13:49
right. So in your last podcast, Zach
13:52
mentioned something along the lines of of getting the vibe off
13:56
of someone person to person, right?
13:58
As opposed to getting the vibe online like through text
14:02
messages. 2 very different things.
14:04
Because with your text messaging, you can be curated,
14:07
which is what we're teaching people how to curate their kinks
14:10
on their profiles, right? So it's a much more polished
14:13
look and you can't really change the nitty gritty.
14:15
Whereas if you're at a bar somewhere, you know you can at
14:17
least see them act a fool in front of their friends, There's.
14:20
No editing in real life. I make content all the time, but
14:24
God, I don't send voice messages to anyone because I'm like, I
14:28
don't need them to hear how many times I say like or umm or
14:31
anything because I'm also so used to editing myself.
14:33
All right so that brings us to mini golf AKA never been kissed
14:39
AKA had sex with you once guy. I don't understand how this
14:43
person kept talking to me because date 1 you know, I'm not
14:46
big on drinks so I'm like let's go for ice cream.
14:49
And he said I think he was like I really like frozen custard.
14:51
Can we go to this place? I'm like I don't give a shit if
14:53
it's chocolate and it's cold I'm in.
14:55
So we go and I don't know what size we get, but it's really
14:57
big. He makes a joke about me not
14:59
being able to finish it or a bet.
15:00
I was like don't make that bet. I will but I don't I don't
15:03
finish this like massive thing of stuff.
15:05
But we stay talking so long that I eventually get to the bottom
15:07
of mine and because we're talking for like 2 hours, I
15:10
don't know. I do not do that cute girly
15:12
thing on a date. I actually say to him, this
15:14
super fit guy who really cares about his health and works out
15:17
all the time. I was like, are you going to
15:18
finish yours? And then I grab his cup and
15:21
finish all of his like an animal, which I'm still like,
15:24
probably. What attracted him to you or the
15:27
other way? It is primal, but I don't think
15:30
he's neat. Primal in a way of let me watch
15:32
this girl eat about like 1500 calories of frozen custard.
15:37
Maybe, but the skinny girl next door only ate a salad, and even
15:41
that she ate half of it. But.
15:43
Like, also On this date, what else happened?
15:45
They're closing up. He's like, I think we should go.
15:46
I'm like, oh, you want to walk around?
15:48
I love a good walking date. So we walk around and eventually
15:51
he takes me to my car and, you know, we hug and I'm sitting in
15:55
my car. I was like, I don't want this to
15:56
be over. And he's like, OK, his friend
16:00
gets up at like 5, AMI think it's late for him and he's just
16:03
like, do you want to go sit in my truck?
16:06
I'm like, no, I was like, yeah, let's go get in your truck.
16:09
Which is good because he has heated seats and I'm cold.
16:11
I'm always cold. So we go sit in the truck for a
16:14
while. I don't know how it ends, but I
16:15
like get out, go back to my car. I think he walks me back to my
16:18
car and I drive off. And then the second date,
16:20
something similar. I'm like let's go to Denny's
16:23
again to eat and just hang out and stuff like that.
16:27
So then we have our third date where I end up crying again.
16:30
My timing is all over the place. So I'm supposed to see him again
16:34
before I go away, but I can't because I get strep throat.
16:37
And then I fly home early and I'm supposed to see him again
16:40
and I can't because I have the flu.
16:42
So our timing is just totally off.
16:46
Oh God. I have to tell you something
16:47
though. I had strep throat when I was
16:48
flying back from Salt Lake City. And he was like, let me pick you
16:52
up from the airport. And I'm like, absolutely not.
16:54
That is not, we are not there. Do not pick me up.
16:57
But on the flight I have strep throat.
16:59
And I don't know it, but I know I'm really, really sick and I
17:02
cannot imagine having to get my own suitcase or get an Uber.
17:05
And I text him and I asked him to pick me up.
17:07
I'm like, hey, actually can you pick me up?
17:09
And we're not, I'm not talking that much because I'm tired, I
17:12
don't feel well. I'm kind of Moody and I'm going,
17:15
I don't know. I just asked to be picked up.
17:17
OK, I didn't really think. I didn't say anything.
17:19
I said I don't feel well. Can you come pick me up?
17:21
As I'm walking to the conveyor belt to get my bag because I've
17:24
checked the bag. All I keep thinking is please
17:26
don't have parked and be here. Do not be at this conveyor belt
17:29
because like I cannot handle that level of dedication,
17:32
commitment, niceness, like I need not that.
17:36
So I get to the conveyor belt and of course he's standing
17:38
there and I'm like, fuck, I don't want this.
17:41
He is not it. So like, please don't be this
17:43
person. I can't really talk.
17:44
It's killing me to talk. He takes me to his car.
17:46
He's like, do you need anything? I was like, yes, actually
17:48
lozenges. So we go to like a Walmart, get
17:51
lozenges, get in the car. Obviously we can't hug.
17:53
We can't kiss because I'm sick and I know I'm sick, but I
17:56
haven't been to the doctor yet. I just know I'm like, I think I
17:58
could be contagious. Thumbs up, yeah.
18:00
So he brings me home like so nice for him to get my bag,
18:03
takes it upstairs too and leaves it outside my bedroom door so I
18:06
don't see him. I go away to New York for
18:08
Christmas, we talk all the time. I come back, he offers again to
18:12
pick me up and I say absolutely not because this time on the
18:16
plane I do have a fever. I didn't know getting on the
18:19
plane, but on the and I'm like whatever it is, I am really sick
18:22
and I cannot risk getting in sick.
18:25
I'm like masked up. I don't tell him.
18:27
I get home and I say the reason I couldn't have you pick me up
18:29
is I'm pretty sure I'm sick. I proceed to have the flu.
18:32
He he's like, can I get you anything?
18:34
I am not saying the. Right.
18:35
Things like he's always saying Yeah.
18:38
I don't know. He's not my person and I feel
18:41
bad saying that, but he's not. So finally I'm better.
18:45
We've been talking a lot. I want a redo of our third date
18:48
where I ended up crying. I'm like, why don't you come
18:51
over, hang out, We'll watch a movie, you know, just talk and
18:54
get to know each other, maybe make out a little bit.
18:56
I'm like, absolutely no sex. OK?
18:58
I can't end up crying again. I'm still in a state of like, I
19:00
don't know how I'm going to be after sex.
19:02
So he comes over, we watch TV, we hang out and then we go to
19:06
bed. I don't understand why this is
19:07
so hard to talk about. Probably because we go to bed
19:10
and I've spent four days saying like we're not having sex.
19:13
Like I want to get to know you a little bit better.
19:14
That's where we're at. So he comes over, he eats me
19:17
out. Brenda, this man's tongue is the
19:20
most amazing thing I've ever felt.
19:22
And I don't say that lightly. Like, people talk about being
19:25
eaten out and it being amazing. And we know I don't have a small
19:28
sample size. This is pretty freaking good.
19:31
And like, damn it, I've been eaten out by men and women and
19:34
I'm just like, this is top. Not all isn't really good, but
19:37
he's got that primal thing. So like I think he's enjoying
19:40
himself like I really do. And you can tell.
19:42
And then that puts me at ease. Someone who is not at ease about
19:45
being eaten out. And it's just it's my own
19:48
personal thing. I get really nervous, as much as
19:50
I enjoy receiving knowing that he's enjoying it.
19:53
Totally different thing and I don't know what it does to me
19:56
but it turns me absolutely fucking feral.
19:59
I don't know why but I decide that the best thing to happen
20:03
next is sex. Listen, I want to be real with
20:06
people OK? I am not saying what I did was
20:09
right, but this is what happened.
20:10
I will say this, we had both just been tested so we both know
20:14
that we are negative. We're both like hyper aware of
20:16
where we're at. I played the game of just the
20:19
tip bucking hell, it did not work.
20:22
And I'm I'm the always wear a condom, always wear a condom.
20:25
Like I think about it too. I'm like, Oh my gosh, this man
20:27
is never going to believe a word I have to say because I said no
20:30
sex. And here I am begging for his
20:33
cock. And he's like, you said no, you
20:35
said no. I was like, OK, just a tip.
20:37
But now he's playing, he's playing into it.
20:39
I mean, I think he was playing into it the entire time, but
20:42
and. I don't want to not be credible,
20:43
but This is why we have safe words.
20:45
So he and I both have safe words and I know that if I say a safe
20:49
word like my word is final, but neither of us are safe wording
20:52
out of this. Brenda It was so hot, all I.
20:56
Can think about is like the orgasm just fucked you up so
21:00
much yeah. And the previous orgasms from
21:03
being eaten out and then this and I have a breeding kink.
21:06
So like I say something about him and he plays into that too
21:12
and it just becomes, I mean, we're talking in recent history,
21:17
this is one of the top three sexual experiences I've ever had
21:20
because I love that it's forbidden.
21:22
I know, I love that The Dirty talk is so on point and I
21:25
completely let myself go. Luckily, he does not completely
21:29
let himself go and he is still in control of the situation
21:32
because again, I'm not playing a totally safe.
21:35
That is what happened. We were not prepared in the
21:37
moment it happened. It's.
21:38
Also real life, he's genuinely happen, you know, for someone to
21:43
say I don't know how it happened.
21:44
Well, I understand that, but that's why I.
21:46
Want to talk about it because I want like I do know how it
21:48
happened. I know what decisions I made,
21:50
where it led. I was totally closed off to the
21:53
possibility of it. Like I am accountable for like
21:56
the decisions I made and just really letting it go.
21:58
So he comes back over the next night, but this time, like the
22:01
jig is up. There's no pretending, we're not
22:03
going to have sex. We're having sex.
22:05
This time it is with a condom though, because I'm like, I
22:08
already know myself now bring a condom.
22:09
So we have sex with a condom. Still great, still getting eaten
22:13
out a lot, still on point. So what's?
22:15
Next for your dating life. Like that is a struggle right
22:18
now. Like when you are getting all of
22:20
your needs met except for the whole like my life plan of where
22:24
I want to go, how do I encourage myself to go out and date?
22:27
And I am, but it's not like I'm excited about going on these
22:30
dates. I.
22:30
Will say 20 years later there is compromise, there is low of
22:34
compromise. There are things sometimes when
22:37
you have a partner that look, you're never always going to be
22:40
on the same page 100% of the time.
22:42
So I guess the conversation leads to you.
22:44
How much are you willing to compromise in certain areas?
22:49
This is very officially not going anywhere and we both know
22:52
it. And it's not this like lying to
22:54
ourselves. This isn't a just the tip lie.
22:56
This really isn't going anywhere.
22:58
How do we figure that out and move forward the real problem?
23:01
Problem is finding someone else because certain needs are being
23:05
met here and I. Don't know if it's like you just
23:08
pause here for a little bit and enjoy life because it's not a
23:11
bad place to be and it's exactly what I was looking for and I
23:13
can't deny that I was looking for a friends with benefits
23:16
situation until I was ready to more seriously start dating.
23:19
I think my question is do I keep dating right now or do I pause
23:23
here and enjoy it for what it is?
23:25
Keep. Going just even if you don't
23:27
feel like it, keep going, see what's out, no.
23:28
I'm still dating and I think that like one of the things that
23:31
what's taught me is to be a lot more intentional.
23:33
Like I was going on a lot of dates before and now it's sort
23:36
of like if you're going to be worth my time, you have to hit a
23:38
certain threshold and I need to be able to talk to you and have
23:41
deep conversation. That's what made this week's
23:43
date really good. I think we had really in depth
23:46
conversation he made this guy from this week tickled my brain
23:50
a little bit. I think he's at a different
23:51
intellectual level, like a few levels above me.
23:54
He didn't make me feel dumb, not one single time, but there were
23:57
definitely times where I had to ask for a little more clarity.
24:00
Reminder Google that. No, I just asked if I don't
24:03
understand something, I don't want to be lost in the
24:05
conversation. So it's like, oh, I'm not
24:06
familiar with this or that, but he's also really aware of things
24:09
I might not be familiar with. He would just sort of like ask
24:13
if I understood. And I had no problem saying no
24:15
because if I don't know I'm not going to pretend to, OK.
24:18
Well, we can talk more about him, all right.
24:20
I want to wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day and I hope that
24:23
everyone else is out there enjoying their dating life or
24:27
the romantic life. And if they are not we.
24:29
Wish you as many orgasm as Amanda has.
24:32
I, I do wish that for everyone. All right, have a good one.
24:35
Thanks everyone. Bye.
24:40
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave
24:42
a review and share it with anyone who might find it
24:44
interesting. And if you have any questions or
24:46
topics you'd like me to cover in future episodes, feel free to
24:49
reach out e-mail info@thekingconsultant.com.
24:53
Until next time, keep on kinkin on.